Program Yourself Thin Live 7-14-26

Hey everyone, welcome to today's Program Yourself Thin podcast. Today we are talking about going against the grain to lose weight. This is a really, really important concept because there's a lot of things that make losing weight hard. Yeah, it's hard, obviously, right? Any kind of change you're going to make is going to be difficult or feel difficult to you because it's new and and new things take effort. And when it comes to losing weight, I think one of the things people overlook is just the aspect of it that to lose weight or to act differently, you're gonna go against the grain of the culture, of your friends, of your family. You're gonna go against what you've normally done. And going against the grain in and of itself is really the foundational difficult part of losing weight because it's a change, right? So anytime we're going to change something, we're going against the grain. Going with the grain is what we typically do, what we typically eat, how much of it we eat, you know, where we eat, all the rest of those things. What we normally do is with the grain. It's easy. It's second nature. We don't have to think about it. We just do it. Anytime we're going to create a change and do the opposite of what we normally do or do something different than what we normally do, We're going against the grain and we're going to feel that. And specifically what I want to talk about is really the grain of our culture that we're going against, because we live in a culture now that is constantly giving us messages to overeat foods that make us overweight. Right. Constantly. I mean, literally food advertising is a multi-kabillion-dollar-a-year business. And it's a multi-billion dollar business because it's effective. It works. And so your entire life at this point, you have been inundated, bombarded with overreading messages. And so has everyone in your life that you know, same thing. And so what ends up happening, there start being these layers of messaging that you're getting, layers of expectation, um, layers of behavior that are ingrained in you. And to change them is difficult in and of itself, regardless of just food. That's what I'm trying to say. It's not just because the food's delicious and I have to stop eating. It's not just that. It is also the idea that you're going to do something different than what you've done and different than what most people do. And so what happens is instantly you start to stick out and it takes more effort to swim against the current. And so I think we should appreciate this level. I think very few people do. I think, again, they recognize the personal challenge of changing, but I don't think we really see it in the broader context that when everyone's kind of going this way and you're trying to go the other, it makes it harder. And so you've all experienced this when you try and do better with your food, your eating, you— people notice it, right? People notice and they start questioning what's going on. You all right? What's going on? Why aren't you eating this? Want some more? Do this. And again, the grain is getting you to overeat, overeat things that aren't necessarily the best for you, things that, you know, put you out of control with your weight. And so as soon as we start to shift that, again, on a logical level, we all say we want to support people, but on a deeper subconscious level, we tend to attack— to a lesser degree, I can't think of a better word— we tend to attack the things that are different from us. And so if you have ever attempted to lose weight and felt like you were being attacked by people you love and friends and people that you care about and care for you, you're not imagining that. That's true. But it's a very, like, human psychological thing that when something's going different than what we do, than the norm, you know, it sticks out and we tend to deal with it. So part of what you have to do to manage your weight is be comfortable being different. That's what I'm saying. You're going to be different if you start eating healthier, if you start making better food choices, you start living a healthier lifestyle. You're probably going to stick out to the people that matter most to you in your life. And so one layer of this process of managing your weight is really being okay being different. And I speak from direct experience with this, that the healthier I've become in my life, the more of an outlier I've become as well. The more I kind of stick out. If I go to a, you know, a typical chain restaurant, or if I'm with a group of people, just an average group of people, I tend to eat differently than the rest of them. And just not saying it's any sort of judgment of good or bad even, but it's a real thing. And I think it took me a lot of effort to be okay with that because it is to some degree unnatural to stick out, to want to stand out. It's natural to kind of want to go along. But again, in this case, because we live in an obesogenic environment, that is constantly giving us messages to overeat, and we're surrounded by people that are typically overeating unhealthiest food. If that's your reality, to go against that feels weird. And instead of trying to ignore that, I think we should embrace it and recognize that if I want to manage my weight in this culture in 2026, I better be okay with being different because I'm going to have to be different. At this point in time, 74% of the American adults are overweight or obese. So to be thin at your goal weight makes you 24-26% of the population. So right off the bat, you're a minority of the population. You're acting differently. And again, I don't really have the answers for how you do it. Everyone's path's going to be a little different for how you're going to make it happen, but I want you to realize it is a path. It's a path of getting comfortable being different, being comfortable going against the grain, standing out, sticking out. Now, again, you can come up with, again, a mindset that's okay with that and strategies for how to deal with it. You know, just for example, you know, you go to the family picnic and you're eating healthy instead of saying you're on a diet and have the whole thing collapse on you. Instead, you say, my stomach's a little off today. I'm just, you know, maybe take it easy today. You know, I don't feel like eating that right now. Maybe in a few minutes. You know, those are strategies that can help you stick out a little less, right? Get away with it. But you need to come up with some. Because again, for most people, sticking out in that way is not very appealing. And I see a lot of people that will make the decision to eat the food not because they were weak-willed. They make the decision because they don't want to stick out. They don't want to stand out as the healthy person, the person trying to lose weight who's going to fail. That's another piece to it. So again, to some degree, to be healthy in this— in 2026, especially if you live in America, to be healthy is to be a bit of an outlier, to stick out a little bit, because a lot of people are not healthy. They're not in control of their eating. And it feels weird to stick out there. I will tell you, it did for me anyways, and it still does. It just feels less because I, you know, I've lived with it for so long. But it was also a focus of mine for a bit. All right. And I suggest you make it a focus of yours so that you do not have to just be blindsided by it. All right. And if you want some help making this happen, click the link in my bio or go to programyourselfthin.com and go get the free hypnosis session I made for you. I'm going to post the link up here, uh, in YouTube and Facebook if you're there, but go get this link. Go over here because this session will help you. This session will help you, uh, again, be more comfortable with being a bit of an outlier, be going against the grain a little bit. All right, if anyone's got questions, feel free to ask them. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend, although it's not the weekend, it's Tuesday. I was off yesterday, went up to Canada, had a great time. It's pretty fun enjoying the summer. Now it's hot. I don't know, they said it's gonna be 95 degrees. I got heat warnings all over the place. It doesn't feel that hot to me, but we will see, we will see. So if you all had a nice week and are having a nice week and are enjoying your summer Whoop, there we go. What's up, Connie, how's it going? I hope everyone here, if you have any questions, feel free to ask 'em. We'll talk about any weight too. You know, I work, it's important, I think, to recognize this, that I obviously work with people that do all kinds of weight loss plans. So Program Yourself then, I think of as kind of a diet agnostic program, meaning that these strategies and philosophies can help you, you know, if you're doing Keto, carnivore, Weight Watchers, South Beach, it doesn't matter any diet you're doing, these things we're talking about here usually are relevant. Certainly sticking out, right? I mean, shit, if you've ever done keto, did you ever feel like you stuck out more than when you were doing keto, right? It's, it's, I mean, it's not as weird anymore, but it's weird in this environment not to eat any carbs. You know, and especially when you go to like a picnic, right? We're in the summer season. So you go to a picnic and you're not, you know, eating the carbs. People start to get suspicious. They don't like to see someone not acting like the group. And that doesn't make them a bad person. And beyond that, you know, I think also that idea is helpful because I think a lot of times when people go and start actively attempting to lose weight, they will they will feel like they're being sabotaged by their family or people that they care about. But a lot of times it's this same thing, that it's just, uh, you know, going against the grain feels weird, you know. And so we just need to acknowledge it as a thing, and then you go to work on it. It doesn't just resolve it once you acknowledge it, but at least it sets you up to, you know, realize it is a thing you need to figure out. Um, What's up, Charles? Charles Tivo says, speaking of heat, what do you think of these hot yoga, hot Pilates classes? Are they healthy? Um, you know, I am a yoga instructor. I have my opinions on, on yoga in America. I don't think yoga in America— of course we Americanized it, we made it all about the physical, right? So yoga in general in America most the time is going to be about, you know, pushing yourself physically as hard as you can, and then so you can burn calories and, you know, look better. And again, I'm not, I'm not, you know, knock yourselves out with that. But I think, um, that's a big part of it. The hot yoga, I don't really have much opinion on that. You know, I know people seem to like it a lot. I'm sure I've never done that. I've done Ashtanga in a hot place and I thought I was going to die. So, um, I didn't love that, but I know the Bikram hot yoga, uh, I've never done that one. I can imagine it must feel nice. Right, stretching with really hot muscles. I would think that it would be fun to stretch with really warm muscles because you must be more flexible, I'd have to imagine. Um, but it's funny, I was just having a conversation with someone about this. I'm not even a huge fan. I, I, again, I'm not— I don't have any problem like Ashtanga. I've done Ashtanga. My, my yoga that I'm certified in is Sivananda. Uh, Sivananda yoga is a more gentle type of yoga, I would say. And, um, and, and I've done— I do that a lot. And I've done Ashtanga, which is a very, very Intense yoga. Um, but again, my belief is that yoga was originally created to kind of get the body ready for meditation. So again, in America, we kind of took off, we lopped off the whole, you know, focus of the intention of the whole thing. And we just made it about the physical, which is what we tend to do here. Um, so if you start to look at yoga really as a meditation preparation, um, however you want to make that happen is fine. Um, and so, and the hot Pilates, I don't really know much about actually, but, um, but, but hot yoga, you know, I'm indifferent to it. I don't love yoga classes at this point. You know, I really, I feel so fortunate because I was able to really learn yoga, um, on my own. I learned from a book called Hittleman. Um, I'm blanking on his first name. Is it Dan? I don't remember, but it was Hittleman's Yoga and it was back in like the '60s or '70s. He made that book. But I learned from that book, 28 Days of Yoga. They still sell it. It's kind of a collector's edition at this point. It's kind of hard to get. You got to get like used copies. But that is the book I learned yoga from. And so I learned yoga on my own. And I think that I'm so grateful for that because when I learned on my own, I could do yoga the way I wanted to do it. I would stay in postures as long as I wanted to. I'd stay, you know, breathing. And I wasn't rushed to the next thing. When you know, you're in class, again, the benefit there, you don't have to think about anything. You're just following along, but it's not really your own in the sense that if you kind of feel, oh, I'm a little tight here, let me spend some extra time here. You can't do that, you know. So I'm very fortunate that I learned on my own at first. And so I think I've always been biased to doing yoga on my own instead of classes. And one of the biggest things that came from that is that I now have multiple yoga options where most people have one option is to go to yoga class. For an hour, hour and 15 minutes, hour and a half. I now have a 2-minute yoga program, a 15-minute yoga program, an hour yoga program, and I have a couple in between as well. And so depending how much time or how much energy I have or my mood or whatever else, I can do yoga based on that. And so I think more than even the temperature of the room, I think it's important that if you do yoga or if you're struggling to get yourself to go to class that you open up the possibility that you can do short sessions at home. You can do yoga for 2 minutes and it's immensely valuable. You can do yoga for 15 minutes and it's incredibly powerful. And then of course, you can obviously do yoga for an hour, hour and a half as well. But I think that a lot of times because of the class model we've all internalized, we tend to think of yoga as going to a full class or not going to a full class. And I want you to realize there's a lot of options in between. And in terms of the heat, I, I don't really know enough to speak to those. I think they're probably fine. I don't think doing yoga hot is, is really a big deal. But, uh, so I would say that, uh, what's up Autumn? Autumn says, enjoy watching your videos. Thank you, I appreciate you saying that. I enjoy making them and that's what they're there for. I want to help people out and, uh, that's one of the ways I'm able to do it. Connie says, good, I'm glad you're doing well. What's up Wendy? Wendy says, this is so true, I stick out because whatever I order I cut it in half before I even start to eat because I know that I'm going— not going to eat eat it. I also avoid appetizers and desserts. My family is now used to my strange ways. I usually only eat 11 AM to 6, so I'm not sleeping on a full stomach. My friends all now know this. I'm done. I'm down 60 pounds in the past 16 months, not going back to my old ways. Wendy, nice job. Nice job. And I really— I'm glad Wendy kind of validated that because that's absolutely my experience, and a lot of people, um, that I know's experience that when you start acting healthier, it's just— it just— people notice, okay? And so you got to deal with that, and there's a lot of ways to deal with it. I think it's not that hard to deal with it once you see it as a thing, and instead of ignoring it and hoping it'll go away, you deal with it head-on. And, um, I think that's wonderful. So I think Wendy's story is really good. I love your strategies too. I'm pretty much right there. I eat a little earlier than you, but yeah, I pretty much stop eating I'm usually done eating 6, 7 o'clock at night so I can go to bed on an empty stomach as well. Um, I think that's key. Maybe I shouldn't say empty stomach. I know that upsets some people. It's not— I guess it's not empty. It may technically be empty. I'm not— again, I don't know. I usually go to bed around 10-ish, 10, 11, so maybe 4 hours after I'm done eating. So I don't know, is that completely empty? Maybe. But I'm not like starving. It's like I haven't eaten in hours. But, but I love sleeping on a feeling light. I'm a big fan of that. But great job, Wendy, keep it up. Nice job, 16 months, wonderful. And again, when you get to the 16-month mark, you, um, you know, that's a good starting point for saying, okay, I might be on to something here long term, you know. And 60 pounds, wonderful. I love that rate. I think that's a wonderful rate. Um, and most importantly, I love that you're, you're used, you know, you're recognizing that you're strange compared to your friends and family. Um, but now those, those strange behaviors, you kind of normalize to them., and now other people almost expect that out of you. Because once you get to that phase, you kind of get back to going with the grain territory. For me, like, being weird is going with the grain at this point for me. So like, if I acted, you know, if I ate like everyone else, that would make me stick out at this point. So again, things do normalize eventually. Just remember that if you are going through that. Uh, Kimberly says, if I tell people ahead of time I'm asking for a box, I'm only eating half my sandwich, I'll take the rest for lunch tomorrow. People don't bother me. I say I ate lunch late. Yeah, exactly. I know, like, like some people, they don't like when I say this, but I have no problem telling lies or fibbing or exaggerating in order to get out of the pressure. So again, someone saying, come on, here you go, eat this. My stomach's a little off. I don't— I have no problem saying that because if God— if, if you say I'm on a diet or I'm trying to lose weight, that's why I can't have any. Then get ready. You know, now people are literally make it their mission to get you to eat. I've seen this happen so many times. So, you know, I am a huge fan of just sidestepping all of that by saying whatever I can to avoid people's attention and efforts to get me to eat more because it is a thing. It is a thing. So funny. But yeah, if y'all have questions, feel free to ask them. I know it's kind of a funny time. This is always a funny time, but I— people start going back to it. It's like clockwork. Last week is one of the slowest weeks. I always say this, between Christmas and New Year's is like the week after Fourth of July. They're both like mirror versions of each other. The most chill, um, the Fourth of July week is the busiest vacation week, but people weight loss-wise, like, all the numbers go down, right? People don't want to think about it, don't talk about it. Um, but literally as soon as this week starts here here it starts clicking back up, and it's so funny. And, uh, yeah, here we are. Uh, Stefan says, yeah, I'm in 19 months, never going back. Nice job, nice job. Yeah, 19 months, that's beautiful. That's a long time. So that's a nice, nice setup for your success. Um, Queen Victoria says, my biggest food problem is other people's food. Okay, yep, other people's food. Yeah, you might be a picker, you know, you pick from other people's stuff. You order the salad and then eat their cheesecake and burgers and fries, right? That can happen too. But again, remember We all have our challenges, right? So again, the specific flavor of the challenge is less important than recognizing what your patterns are, right? And then once you recognize the patterns, then you can start to work on resolving them or dealing with them, right? So again, the biggest problem is other people's food. But again, that other people's food is only when you're with certain other people in certain other situations and contexts. So you start focusing on those contexts and figure out what you can do in those situations to eat the way you want. Yep. Stefan says, I just tell them to fuck off. Good for you, Stefan. That's funny. People are so funny, right? We are. We're all so different. You know, I was, I was less like that. It depends who it was, you know, but it was hard. I will say, I'll say this straight. My mom, she was the hardest one to deal with because she really did show love through food. Food was very central to our reality. And very central to our family for so many reasons. But the biggest one would probably be it really was a big way my mom would show love. And so when I began changing the way I ate, that was one of my biggest stresses. Like, for real, I really had to figure that out. And it took a long time. That's what I'm trying to say, too. Just because I realized it didn't make it just disappear, it made me realize that I started work. I said, okay, how can I deal with this? What can I do here? What can I do? And I do a bunch of different things to kind of deal with that. And, uh, it was tough, you know, but I'm glad I did it, you know, because now, now here I am. What's up, Karen? How's it going? Karen says I have my grandkids this week, so eating more but moving a lot more. Yeah, there you go. That's fair, that's fair. I think that's a good strategy. Uh, same thing, you know, I went to Montreal this weekend and it's like I ate more for sure, but I also walked a lot more. So keep that in mind, folks. I think one of the worst things we can do is we go on vacation, we get the grandkids or something's you know, we're having a different sort of week. If it includes a lot more activity, expect you're probably going to eat some more as well anyways. You know, don't, you know, go into a situation like I go to Montreal and all of a sudden I'm walking twice as many steps as I normally do. I'm probably going to eat more than I normally do, too. You know, beyond just the fact that I'm on vacation, I'm in a different place. You know, there's also my body saying we need to eat more. We've burned a lot more, you know. So I think it's important to recognize that. So we don't— because sometimes people just beat themselves up. They think they should eat the same no matter what the situation., and I think that's a recipe for disaster. All right, what's up, Jane? Jane's going to St. John now. All right, sitting at the airport. I love flying. Yeah, flying's fun, right? Going on an adventure, going somewhere fun. St. John, I'm not familiar with St. John. Is that a Canadian place or is that someplace down south? I don't know, I don't know St. John's, but that's awesome. Have a great, great trip and a safe flight there. What's up, Paula? Paula says hot yoga helped me gain flexibility. Hot yoga did not reduce my weight, even practicing several times a week. I also like the predictable elements of Bikram style yoga. Okay, yeah, yeah, so right, so Bikram's probably like a routine, right? Um, Ashtanga is a routine. I love routine. I, I remember when I was teaching yoga classes, uh, I don't know, I did teach at, at that time I was teaching at a, um, like a health center, so it wasn't a yoga place. And it was like over, shit, 25 years ago. But, uh, I remember a couple people come up, they said they didn't like it because we always did the same thing. But I love doing the same thing. I— when I do yoga, like I said, I got a couple routines, but I love the routines. I don't have to think, so I'm a big fan of that. So it sounds like Bikram's like that as well. But yeah, I could imagine that, that doing yoga in the hot would increase flexibility. That makes a lot of sense to me. So I think that that's great. I gotta try it. I've never really done it, but it does— it is kind of appealing a little bit. A little bit. I don't love yoga classes, if I can be completely honest. Yeah. So Wendy says, my, my husband says diet, I say healthier life choices. Oh, that's great. I love that, Wendy. And I think that's a huge, really, really important reframe. Really big reframe. I, folks, would run away from the word diet as much as possible. I would always run away from explaining my food choices because I wanted to lose weight or I'm on a diet. That just makes people see, not red like they're mad, but you know, like they show the bull the red flag and it just triggers them. It's like when people hear you're on a diet or trying to make better food choices because you want to lose weight, it's just like they just get— talk about a trance. It's just like they go into this mode where they just want to get you to eat. It's weird. So that's why I have no problem fibbing and lying about why I'm eating the way I'm eating. And, uh, I have no problem using that because I'm just looking for the path of least resistance, you know. I don't owe it to anyone to explain why I'm eating the way I'm eating. It's none of their fucking business. I can eat the way I want to eat, but people are nosy as hell. Let it be known. I don't know, maybe you all have different people around you, but when I start eating differently, man, everyone's up in my shit. I'll eat the way I want to eat. Go, go do your own thing. You eat the way you want to eat, I won't say anything. And don't say anything the way I'm eating, how about that? But people have a hard time making that deal, I will let you know. A very hard time. It says New Brunswick on the east coast of Canada. All right, St. John's on the east coast of Canada. I've never been to New Brunswick. I'm gonna do it. I'll tell you, I loved, um, although I did get stuck at the border yesterday. It was crazy. I'm going over the border, I'm literally 5 cars away from getting through it, and they closed the whole thing down. I guess there was a gas leak and they shut it down. I was there for like an hour, hour and a half, and then finally I got to talk to them, say I'll go next. There's another crossing guard or another crossing border spot a mile away. So I drove over, get to it, it's a tiny little building with one person working there. So now I'm waiting in line there and an hour goes by and then the guard starts walking by and they're like, ah, we got a case, they're closed up for a couple hours, go back, they're open again. Back, got through. There we are. But yeah, but it get me all excited. I got to go see more of Canada than just Toronto and Montreal. So maybe I'll put New Brunswick on the, on the destination guide for next year. Go check it out. I'm sure it's beautiful, man. I love Canada. It's so nice. Um, Queen Victoria says, I have a friend who wants to feed me so badly that she experiments with vegetarian recipes. Yeah, yeah, it's hard to turn down when my friend has cooked especially for me. That's so true. And that's why I say, you know, when you do find yourself in situations where someone does something, goes out of their way to do that, Um, you know, I think you eat it, you know, you do it right, but you do communicate with them. And this is something I've also, um, figured out with certain people in my life where I would tell them I don't eat real— I'm not really eating this way anymore. They just ignore it and they make it again. And I will hate to tell you, the answer in that situation for me anyways has been, okay, I told you. And I might tell them again and eat it. I said, listen, I'm just— I really don't eat this way. This isn't really something I normally eat. And I make it again, and next thing I said, no thank you. Let's do it. Let's do it. Because now, now here we are, right? Remember, words don't mean shit. Actions. Okay, so if you say, oh, I shouldn't eat this, oh, I shouldn't eat this dessert, then you eat the dessert. It just makes— talk about people's, you know, dopamine receptors going off. There's something about it. I don't know. So again, if you have someone like that, you know, you do it. I think the first one or two times you eat it Thankfully, let them know, I don't, I don't really eat this way anymore. I've cut down what I'm eating. I feel a lot better. I've just kind of dialed down how much I'm eating, and I'm feeling better. And even when I say I'm eating less, it's— I never make it about weight. Please don't make it about weight. Avoid that trap. You could say, I'm— what I would suggest you say, and this for me was a little bit true too, and it's probably true for you as well, to be honest. He said, I'm just, you know, I, I'm, I'm good. I don't want— I'm not— I kind of dialed down how much I'm eating. My stomach's been feeling a little weird, and, um, you know, so I'm not eating that way. And so I go back the third time, and they made all that stuff for me. I appreciate it. So, aren't you gonna eat more? I made all this for you. No, I appreciate it, but I told you, I told you my stomach's been a little off. I'm not— I'm just not eating as much anymore. So, and after you don't actually eat all their food, then they usually get the message. And then if they don't the next time, oh, at least you did it nice. And if it has to get contentious, it gets contentious. And sometimes it does. I'm not going to sit here and say, I fucking told you I'm not eating like that anymore. What do I have to do here? I've had those conversations too. So it's not just all horseshoes and rainbows for me. It, you know, sometimes you gotta get into this with people. I don't know why. I don't know why, okay? But, but people take it upon themselves to be real concerned about other people's eating. And so sometimes you just got to be blunt too. But I'm— I don't like being that way, you know. So I like to like kind of my levels of things. So hopefully that helps. Uh, but if anyone has any questions, feel free to ask them. Uh, yeah, it's been a— I don't know, like I said, 89 degrees, we have 94. Is it easier to eat well when it's 94 degrees? I find it is. I find it easy. I feel like I want to eat lighter when it's hotter, typically. Yeah, Queen Victoria likes that advice. Good, good, I'm glad. What's up, Carolyn? How's it going? You know, I'm gonna get out of here. I gotta, I got a kind of busy schedule here on this afternoon too, so I'm gonna tap out. We answer all the questions, um, again, if you all— yeah, camera says misery loves company. True, true. So, um, yeah, if you all, uh, like this, I'm here every Monday through Friday at noon Eastern, except for Tuesdays I'm here at 1. Um, and if you can't make the live, it's also a podcast. You know, any podcast platform, search Program Yourself, then it'll pop up. Go check it out. Uh, if you're not in my world, get my world by going to get the hypnosis session I made for you. It's called The New Thin Me. And, uh, yeah, I think it's wonderful. It's free. Go check it out. And, uh, you can listen to it. And, uh, the link— you can click the link in my bio or click this link. I'll put it right in the chat window. Boop, that'll bring it in, you'll get it. And then, uh, what else we got? Yep, this is my book. So if you get this book, it's available at Amazon, The DAV: Living at Your Goal Weight. And the audio version is ready, so up on Audible, the audio version is there to go as well. So thanks very much, everyone. Have a super day, and we'll talk soon. Bye.