Program Yourself Thin Live 8-10-26

Everyone, welcome to today's program, Yourself Thin podcast. Today we're talking about how to get back on track after vacation. Certainly everything I'm going to talk about can also be used to get back on track any time. But this has a specific vacation kind of flavor to it because I just got back from vacation and I want to talk about how I kind of reenter my normal routines because I don't just pop right back into being normal or what I consider normal. I kind of reenter into it slowly in a way that's comfortable for me. And I think talking about the reentry, the getting back on track really is the epitome of kind of the program yourself approach that we are always looking to make things comfortable. We're always looking to see where we're at and set the path forward accordingly. So if I'm on vacation and every day I'm drinking wine, I'm eating ice cream cones or desserts, I'm overeating, you know, foods, I'm eating more stuff than I normally do. I'm not doing my normal routines that I know I have. When that happens for a week, I get off track. But I don't just get off track physically. I also get off track mentally. And so when I get back home and I want to get myself back to normal, I don't do this kind of like line in the sand. That's it. Tomorrow, back on my plan. I intend to get back on my plan, but I also understand that I've just spent the last week, you know, not completely off my plan, but, but pretty dramatically. I'm in a different environment, different routines., different way of being. And when I get back, I realize that I'm not in the same place I was a week ago before I left. So I acknowledge this, I internalize it, I understand it, and I set the path forward accordingly. I don't make everything exactly like it was. I start moving in the direction of where I was slowly and comfortably. And that's the main thing I want you to understand, because usually what happens, you get back from vacation, that's it, trying to get back on my plan. The first of the year, time to get back on my plan. Anytime you start, you're starting 100%. It's that all-or-nothing mindset. And what I'm talking about here is really the idea of being all or something. So I'm not going to do the push-ups I was doing a week ago. Even I could, but it's just a lot harder. I'm not doing the squats I was doing. I could. It's not harder. I'm not meditating as much as I was. I could, but it's not as easy. So instead, I'm looking to do some push-ups, get getting myself back to where I was, some squats back to where I was, some meditation so that I can get back to the times that I was at before. And eating follows the exact same way. I'm not looking to make my eating perfect because today's Monday. Now I'm looking to make it better, but mostly I'm looking to make it better by diving back into the routines that I left. And they don't have to be perfect. So I'll be— I'll dive back into my normal breakfast. My normal lunch. But along the way, I understand that I might have cravings for sweets. I might have cravings for, you know, chips or carbs or something else because that's what I was eating a lot of last week. And so I don't cut it off completely. I start to dial it down. I start to dial up the healthy foods, the healthy habits, the healthy routines and behaviors and amount of time I'm doing it. And I start to dial down the unhealthier foods, the less healthy options and choices. Even wine. I may not stop drinking wine completely out the gate today, but I will dial it down, dial it down, dial it down, and I will get back to where I was, where I'm eating the same breakfast, eating similar lunches, eating the same things, avoiding unhealthy stuff, avoiding the wine during the week. All these other things will start to go back to where they were, but it's a transition. Transition. It's not just a line in the sand, flip switch. Okay, I'm dimming, I'm dimming down, I'm dimming up, and that gives me the ability to adjust it accordingly instead of just flipping a switch and expecting that I can go from vacation mode into normal mode in one moment. I realize that I give myself a little bit of time. Now, I'm not saying I need a year to get back on track, you know what I mean? Like, it'll be a couple weeks probably, if that. But that's fine with me because again, what I'm aiming at is where I was, but I want to do it comfortably. I never want to stress myself out. And this is just one of the key factors is that we're always looking to kind of hit that flow state where we're going in a new direction or a direction we want to go in and we're making some changes, but we're making them comfortably enough that they're not overwhelming us, but we can feel them. We have to pay attention, we have to focus, but it's comfortable enough to make that happen. So, for example, you know, the typical amount of pushups I normally do when I'm in my flow, I'm not looking to hit those same numbers. I don't care if I don't hit those numbers this week. If I get a little bit lower, my main goal is I just want to start doing them at the consistent times I was doing them, and then I'll boost up the quantity to get me back where I was. But I have the opportunity to start off again at a lower level, so it's not so overwhelming. I hope that makes sense because you can apply it to your exercise, your water consumption, your eating. Um, anything that affects your weight, your health, your happiness, you can approach it this way. This is life. You're doing things really in the flow. You're, you're going with everything. Everything's going good. Then you get off track for whatever reason, vacation, sickness, illness, bored, whatever. And now you get yourself back on track. And what most people do is only give themselves all or nothing. I'm either doing it 100% perfect or I'm not doing it at all. And there's all this space in between that we can utilize.. And sometimes you can't get yourself right back to 100%, but doing 30% is comfortable enough and it's a step in the right direction because the next week it's easier to build on that 30% than it is to build on 2 weeks of zero. Now, does that make sense? And when you start thinking in this way, it opens up a whole new approach to managing your weight. And so I hope this makes sense. If you want to go deeper into this, click the link in my bio and go get the free hypnosis session I made for you. You're also gonna get a training called Reprogrammed. You're also, if you choose to, you're gonna get PYT Daily, which is an email program really that I just give you every day. It's kind of a coaching email, and that's completely free and something I give you as well. So go check that out. And if you have any questions, feel free to ask them. Any weight loss questions are welcome. How's it going, Lois? How was your vacation? Yes, vacation. I'm back, and my vacation was awesome. It was awesome. Awesome vacation. I gotta say, it was one of the most relaxing vacations I've ever been on. And, uh, I really slept a lot. I did a lot of sleeping, and, uh, it really worked out for me because I had some big, big epiphanies and breakthroughs. So sometimes, a lot of times, I believe, you know, you put the work in, and then sometimes you need to relax and recover in order for that work to really show up and blossom. And I think the best example is that really lifting weights, you're not really building muscle in the gym. You're building muscle outside of the gym. You're going to the gym, you're tearing the muscles up, but they're repairing outside of the gym. And I do think a lot of times we have these, these insights, these quantum leaps in life. And a lot of times they happen from resting. You know, we put the work in and then we rest and kind of assimilate things and internalize things.. And I'm such a big believer in that. I say that all the time. And I was able to have one of those weeks last week in terms of my business and Program Yourself Thin. And so I'm excited to share that with you, you know, in the future here. But for right now, any weight loss questions are welcome. And yes, thanks for asking for my vacation. It was, it was really wonderful. Definitely a relaxing one. I enjoyed, enjoyed myself very much. Yeah, the weather was nice. A little hot, I will say. What's up, Karen? Speaking of down there in Delaware. Yeah, holy crap, was it hot. It is like so muggy down there, the humidity. Holy macaroni. It was funny because, uh, yeah, I looked at my watch one day, it was like 75 degrees, but it was like— I was— it was intense. And I'm really good with heat, but man, last couple days there were intense. But, but it was all worth it, it was all fun. So yes, hope everyone's having a nice time, nice summer. Um, I don't know if you're all on vacation too. It is vacation time. That tends to kind of be coming to a close, you know, summer is, you know, we're still in it, but, you know, you can kind of see right on the horizon that the fall is coming and a lot of people start to dial in around the fall. That's usually the biggest time of year that I get people kind of starting the program. You know, typically in the fall, I think it's that kind of school conditioning we have of where the fall shows up and that's where we kind of like focus in and, you know, concentrate on what's important to us. They should have come to Zen and got a massage. I said, where's Zen? That? Is that— is that Imrahobith? I never get massage. I haven't got massages in a while. I don't know what's up. I do know what's up. I will tell you. Um, I love getting massages, but I also— like, the more massages you get, the more particular you get is what I've noticed. And so I feel like I need to just find like my masseuse. Oh, Fenwick Island. All right. Yeah, yeah. I wanted to get the Fenwick Island so bad too this week. This, this last week was kind of a funny year for us. Um, and I was like, I'm gonna have more time, I'm gonna get down to Ocean City and Fenwick Island and down that way. But, uh, I did not because, uh, travel is never gonna override the opportunity to take a nap and sleep. And I, I slept a lot last week and it was, it was awesome. So, uh, I will tell you that. But, uh, yeah, hope you're all having a nice week. If you have any weight loss questions, feel free to ask them. Again, as I was just mentioning, Reprogrammed is a training I just created and released. And if you have not checked that out yet, go check it out. Assuming you're in my world, on my email list, you've been getting emails for it. So click that link and watch it. It's maybe 20 minutes of training. And I think it's really, really valuable, you know, to understand that approach to managing your weight. So I go through why diets haven't worked. I go through how to reprogram your mind, and I literally take you through um, the Program Yourself Thin technique, which is a 60-second mental rehearsal technique you use at night, uh, to program your mind to make you thin. And as I literally take you through that process in the training, um, and you can use it. So again, completely free, go check that out. And, um, yeah, see if it can help you out. And if you have any questions, feel free to ask them. I know, like I was talking about getting back on track, and, um, you know, I feel it, you know, again, you kind of reawaken these, uh, you reawaken the demons a little bit, right? Eat a little more sugar, you drink a little wine, and then you got to deal with it. I always think of eating— when I eat sugar, or even when I drink wine to some degree, when I eat hyperpalatable foods, I tend to think of it as kind of cravings on layaway. Like, I know if I eat this now, I'm gonna have to deal with cravings for it later. Um, so, you know, again, there's something I do with my eyes open. And so as I come back though, I definitely feel myself having to deal with mental chatter, food noise as they may call it, um, the, the, the cravings, the impulses that I normally don't have. But again, I'm going to slowly dial them back down. I've done this so many times now that it's just a normal thing. But I have kind of grace for myself too. You know, even working out, I'm not trying to work out exactly as I was before I left. Even taking a week away, that's another thing. Boy, it is crazy how fast you can lose stuff, I will tell you that. Um, because that's one thing I, I've got to weave back into my vacation. I keep weaving better things through my vacation. I've weaved back in the same amount of water by bringing a water pitcher. That was a miracle for me to think that, figure that one out. Um, but, uh, and meditation, that kind of worked its way to weave through the vacation as well. But I need to get more movement and exercise into my— I walk a lot, but it needs more movement, more stretching. Um, even when I'm on vacation. But anyways, anyways, if anyone's got any questions, feel free to ask them. If not, that's fine too. We have a quiet class and that's fine too because I got a lot, a lot of catching up on. So Karen says, yes, when my grandkids come over, I eat junk, then I have to recover from cravings. Yeah, yeah, exactly, Karen. You know, that's just what it is, you know. So it's like, this is what I mean. I think dieting is always telling you that the answer and the solution is going to be that you never eat junk food again, you never eat fast food again. It's this idea you're never going to do it again. But Program Yourself Thin, we're really focused on how you're going to live at your goal weight, not just get there for a little bit of time because you're, you know, white-knuckling everything. And so what we really need to learn— I say this all the time— I think the number one skill of living at your goal weight is being able to get back on track consistently, because we always have situations that are kind of knocking us off track., and then we got to get back on track. And it's just like that forever. I've been doing this for over 30 years. It's just always this way. I mean, vacation's an obvious one where obviously I'm gonna— and for some people it's not obvious because some people try to go on vacation, try and be exactly the same with everything. Um, to me that kind of negates the point of the vacation to some degree. Uh, so I like going on vacation. I like eating different than I normally do. It's why I eat healthy all the time so that when I go on vacation I can eat, you know, in a way where I don't have to think about it. Um, and yes, I did put weight on over vacation. Again, that's another piece. I'm okay with that too, you know, because again, I think that very rarely are we taught— very rarely do people practice and focus on their ability to get back on track. And so I talk about vacation, which is kind of a bigger obvious one, but what Karen's saying I think is more really what I'm thinking about, because it's like, yeah, the grandkids come over and all of a sudden You're making a mac and cheese, getting chips, kicking them out to, you know, fast food. And then you're eating some of that and now you can get back on track. So again, it's this all or something mentality where, you know, sometimes we're perfect. You know, maybe the grandkids go away and we don't see them for a month and we get right back on track and we're doing things. And then they come out and then we're off track again. But, but that's real life. That's real. And so we don't have to be scared of that if we understand. How to be more aware of that process happening. And then most importantly, how do we get ourselves back on track when the grandkids leave? How do I get myself back on track? And for me, it wouldn't be like a switch necessarily. It wouldn't just be like, oh, the grandkids are here and now they're gone. Now, maybe eventually I could work up to that. I could get so good at practicing going from grandkids here and eating that way to back to they're not, and I'm back to my normal thing that I could just flip it like a switch. But to get to that point, you've got to give yourself some, some more leeway. And I know this goes against dieting thinking so much. And this is again, diets have taught you to think the wrong way. That's why you're struggling with your weight more than anything else, is you think like a dieter. And the dieter thinking is all or nothing. So the grandkids come and you're not eating perfect, and now you get back to being perfect. But there's no, like, transition plan. No transition plan. Okay, and, um, that's a problem. So we need to have the ability to engage with the transition a comfortable way, and that's where all or something really kind of factors in. So that makes sense. Um, Elizabeth says great information. Well, thank you. Yes, I, uh, I, I miss you all. I, I go away and I love taking a vacation and resting. It was wonderful. Um, but boy, I really do, you know, I'm very fortunate in my life that I, I love doing what I do. Um, and I love to get back here and talk about all this stuff and, uh But, but I will say last week really— and I knew it, I knew it going into last week that last week I've been doing so much of a certain type of work that I knew getting a week where I could really just decompress and assimilate it all, I knew something good would come out and something did. So yeah, super excited, super excited about that. But I'm glad you're enjoying the information. Um, make sure you're on the email list. And by the way, speaking of getting that hypnosis session, I'm going to put this link in the chat window. I'm gonna put this in the chat window in case you are not on my email list. You got to get on it because again, this reprogrammed training alone, in my opinion, is worth the price of opting in. I think it's really good. Uh, what's up, Meg? Meg says, I live in Ocean City, it's been so hot I have to really talk myself into daily walks. Oh, I bet, Meg. Yeah, holy crap. And I will tell you, like, I'm really good with heat usually The heat down there is a particular blend of heat and humidity that I was all wiped out. I went for a walk. It was a couple times I walk in the morning, I like have to sit down and just recompose myself. The night I was wiped out, like it was, it was nuts. Yeah. So I could see, you know, okay. So Meg, here's an example. When it's so hot out there, you know, understand that that's a real thing to have to talk yourself into because to some degree, or when it was hot as I was there, you got to be careful. Like, if you walk too much in this heat, like, you can make yourself sick. And so I think, Meg, and that's a perfect example where you may want to have an option A, B, and C, plan A, B, C. Maybe plan A is going for your daily walks, but maybe when it's that hot out, maybe an alternative is, I don't know, jumping rope for a certain amount of time or, you know, whatever. I mean, there's a million things you can do in the house if you got a stationary bike, riding the bike or whatever it may be. Um, but sometimes it's nice to have a kind of option, a plan A, B, and C, just in case it's really hot and muggy and you just don't want to go outside. Instead of trying to force yourself to do the thing that's outside that you don't want to do because it's so hot and muggy, you may want to have another option that you can do in a more comfortable situation as well. But, and then again, you may love getting yourself to go for the walks and you feel proud of that. But, um, that is a good example of how having options sometimes is really valuable, because I know if I was a normal walker and all of a sudden it was as hot and humid as it was there last week, I would have walked less. I did walk less than I normally do when I, when I go to, um, the beach over there. What's up, Julie? Julie says, I took a vacation from eating healthy for a couple months. I feel terrible. Oh yeah, well, I'm glad you said that, Julie. Um, yes, yes, please understand, you know, even when last week when I'm on vacation mode, I give myself a lot more freedom to do and do what I want to do. And, um, but, but part of that, so, you know, I'm eating french fries a lot, I'm eating, you know, fried food, sweets, drinking, I'm all this stuff here, but I'm also still aware. And I think that's a key part of the Program Yourself Then philosophy as well, is that we utilize when we're doing well, but I think what makes us really special here is that we also utilize when we're not doing well. And so I am a big believer that when we're off track with our eating, when we take a vacation from eating healthy, for example, I feel like that is the most valuable programming time that exists if you use it right and using it right. All you need to do is just pay attention to how you feel. And I did that last week a lot as I ate and acted that way. I paid attention to how— what the effects were. I didn't judge myself. I didn't feel guilty about it and feel shame about it. I was just aware about it because I want to look at things with my eyes open. I want to know that if I eat this certain way, there's a consequence to it. No judgment. It's just, I want to know what that consequence is. So as I made those different decisions than I normally make, I also pay attention to the effect it has on me. I link them together. So it's clear in my mind. And so, you know, I enjoyed what I ate last week and how I acted last week, but I'm also very aware that I felt heavier. I felt more tired. I got— my body got tighter and stretch as much. I got— I felt weaker. All these things were real as well. And so the feeling terrible part, Julie, is really the valuable part of those couple of months from eating healthy. And when you start to think of it this way, instead of saying, oh, you awful person for eating this way, instead we're looking at it saying, oh, eating that way does not feel good. I got a bit off track, but geez, I feel terrible physically, mentally, emotionally. All right, um, so it's really important that we kind of feel that, you know. Julie says, it's too late for me, save yourself. Oh no, never too late. Uh, yep. Julie says, Oreo milkshake will make you feel sick. Yeah, and it's never too late because that fact always remains, folks. See, that's why you all— I say this every day, but this is why I say it, because when you— if you make your weight loss only about weight loss you're straight fucked. You're, you're almost guaranteed failure if all you care about is losing weight so you look better. Good luck, good luck. You might as well just get out of here because, because it's not going to work. How about that? You've been— you all have been so focused on your just looking better for so long and it hasn't worked. I don't know what it would take to convince you that that's not enough motivation. Now sometimes people have to bounce up against that over and over and over again to finally realize, ah, Yes, I really do want to look better, but it ain't enough motivation. If it was enough motivation, you would have already changed. So wanting to look better is not enough unless it has worked for you. If you want to look better and you have changed your eating and lifestyle so that you've lost weight and you look the way you want, then it works for you. But if you are someone who just wants to look better and you're obsessed with it and it hasn't worked, I'm telling you right now, as clearly as I can, it's never going to work for you. Why would it? Why would you have more motivation to look better at 45 than you did at 25. Like, I hate to burst your bubble, hate to be the jerk, but I'm here to tell you the truth because I'm tired of people kind of banging their heads against the wall. So for Julie, I say, um, it's your chance to widen your perspective and you can still want to look good. But here's the point, Julie, that this is why it's not too late, because you still live in the same exact reality that eating like shit makes you feel like shit. Y'all live in that reality. I live in that reality. We all live in that reality. So we can say, well, you know, I tried so hard to eat better and lose weight and I just couldn't stick to it, and now I'm off track. And that feels like, well, I did it and now I can't, I can't keep it up anymore, so now I don't care about how I look. I don't give a shit how I look. And that's what you all go through. You go through that cycle. I care. The only thing I'm married— I just want to lose weight. And you're so obsessed, you're counting every point, and then at some point becomes overwhelming. Who cares how I look? I don't care. I I've been this weight for 10 years, who gives a shit? But when you focus on the consequence that never goes, when you focus on the consequence that never goes, and the consequence that never goes is that when you eat like shit, you feel like shit physically, mentally, emotionally, instantly. It's like eating depression. It's like eating sadness. When you start looking at it that way, it's harder to say, nah. Ah, gives a shit. It's a lot harder because you're living— you're living with— most people, especially struggling with your weight, you're living in a perpetual food hangover. So again, never mind what you want to look like. How about the day-to-day reality of feeling like shit physically, mentally, emotionally, energetically? Your moods, your mindset, it all reflects how you're eating. So we need to make this a bigger thing than just what we're looking like. I see Julie's right. I just meant it's too late to undo the shake. Got you, got you. Don't make it so triggered. I, uh, got a week's worth of getting triggered pent up too, so I get it, I get it. Yeah, it's too late to undo the shake. Yes, it's too late to undo the shake, but it's not too late to reconnect to how that shake makes you feel and remember that and reinforce it, right? Because again, if Julie looks at this as The Oreo milkshake makes me feel sick. That's a much deeper and effective connection than I shouldn't eat the milkshake, which is so delicious because I want to lose weight. Do you understand that difference? Most people have this subconscious association. Your subconscious programming says, oh, milkshakes are delicious and I shouldn't eat once I want to lose weight. The benefit for Julie is she's linking together Oreo milkshakes makes me feel shitty. That's more valuable, and it's the truth. But most of you never get to that point because you're too busy feeling guilt and shame for what you did. You know, you need to tap into the negative impact consequence it has on you immediately instead, because that doesn't go away whether you want to lose weight or not. Pat says, did you send an email today? Pat, you should have got an email today. So I'm not sure which email you're referring to. I know you're in the program, so shoot me, shoot me an email at jim@programyourselfthin or support@programyourselfthin, um, or open a support ticket and just ask, hey, what's going on with the email? And we can look into the background and make sure that you get what you're supposed to get. But sometimes little glitches in the system. So yes, you should have You should have got an email because I believe you're— yeah, you're just kind of fresh on the program, so you should be getting emails every day. So yeah, if we're not, let's get that fixed right away. Uh, what's up, Lois? Lois says, have you read The Weight Escape: How to Stop Dieting and Start Living by Joseph Ciarrocci, Ann Bailey, and Russ Harris? It's about ACT, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. I have not. I've not ever heard of that, but I like, um, I like the name. I'm gonna look into it. I'll check that out. I gotta get my reading game back on track. That's another thing I realized last week is I really need to get my reading— my reading's kind of slipped a bit. Gonna check it out. Um, yeah, I got some cool stuff coming. I'm excited. Let me see, the Weight Escape. Uh, wait, escape. Yeah, I'll check that out. Thank you for sharing that. Oh, look at these smarties! Someone said— we're talking about the hot walk— walking, and someone said, yeah, walk in the mall. Yes, yes, in the AC. Yeah, Melissa, I— that's a great idea and so true. That's what I mean though, that's a plan A, B, and C. We need Folks, we need plans A, B, and C. Dieting has taught you that you need one plan, you need to commit everything to it and do it that way every time. But we're human beings. We, we have fluctuations in our moods, our energies, our motivations. That's just how it is to be a human. Have you not noticed that? Have you not noticed that you're— you as a human fluctuate? So this idea— and, and again, the diet, the number one thing about a diet that implies how unsuccessful it's going to be is how rigid it is. That's probably the number kind of one-to-one marker of how unsuccessful a diet's going to be long term is how rigid it is. Why? Right. Because, because you're a human, so you fluctuate. And if you have a diet that doesn't fluctuate, that has no give in it for when you feel depressed or when you feel sick, when you feel sad, when you feel unmotivated, how can you succeed with that? It doesn't describe your experience, right? It's all or nothing. When you can do it 100%, you can do it. As soon as you slip up a little bit, you're completely off track. You know, so we need to have more flexibility. Yes, Lisa. Lisa says compassion with ourselves is key. Absolutely. Yeah. Believe that when we eat our food, it is assimilated perfectly into our bodies. Yeah, I like that. I like that. Yeah, but we need to have compassion for ourselves, I think. I mean, how's being really hard on yourself going? You know, that's the— that's the thing. We don't have to make up stories. We can just look at the evidence. I know you're all hard on yourself. Every client in my program is hard on themselves because pretty much everyone in my program is overthinkers, perfectionists, you know, hold themselves to a high standard, and they just beat the shit out of themselves because of the eating, the weight, the lifestyle, all that stuff. And they're so used to just beating themselves up that it feels like that's the way you do it. But if you take a step back and reflect on how it's working, you're just not being mean enough to yourself, you know. Again, people resist this idea that you can be compassionate to yourself and manage your weight effectively. And it's just so crazy to me because if you had— if you've had a teacher, you've had a teacher in life, you've had good teachers and bad teachers, but teachers that are really, you know, mean and don't give you the benefit of the doubt or, you know, punitive and cruel, and you've had people that are nice and encouraging and supportive— which one did you do better with? You know, so this idea that you have to be strict and harsh with yourself is just, again, another bullshit diet thing. Um, Sassy says, hi, I like your idea of therapy where you manifest being thin in your head and how you feel. Yeah, absolutely. That's program yourself in a nutshell, is we program ourselves to be thin, healthy, and happy. We reprogram our thoughts so that we think differently, feel different, behave differently. Everything in life comes back down to your thoughts, your habitual automatic thoughts that are going on in your subconscious mind. You have been programmed to be overweight. And you can be programmed to be thin. And then being your goal weight— thin is not a BMI chart measurement. Thin is a concept. It is you being at your goal weight. What's your goal weight? I would suggest your goal weight should be the weight that gives you the best quality of life. You can't— in my opinion, you can't just pick a weight based on a chart. That's, that's one data point. Fine, take it into account, but there's got to be more to it. And I would suggest that the path to finding the ideal weight for you, the goal weight for you, is to focus on the weight that gives you the best quality of life, not the, the weight that makes you the skinniest. That's, that's a very limited way to define your goal. So yeah, Pia says, I need to lose 5 kilograms now. You don't need to lose 5 kilograms now. No one ever needs to lose weight, just so you all know. You never need to lose weight. Never need, need. You never have to. You never need to. You never have to. Never. Weight is really one of the most personal things we get to decide in our lives. No one can force us, and we never need to. I mean, I'm talking about people that are on the edge of a heart attack don't need to lose weight. No one needs to lose weight. Do you understand what I'm saying? There's no outside pressure that's great enough that forces us to lose weight in a normal reality. So you can want to, you can want to lose 5 kilograms, but you don't need to. You never need to. There's not even one single example of you needing to. And that's a very important distinction because when you feel like you need to lose the weight, you internalize it as pressure, force. Because why would you need to? And when you start reflecting on that, you're gonna realize because other people— you feel pressure from a doctor, a friend, a wedding party you're going to, whatever. But you never need to lose weight. You either want to or you don't. You don't need to. And that languaging of 'I need to lose 5 pounds or 5 kilograms now' is the start of being stuck. How long have you been saying you need to lose 5 kilograms now? For, for a lot of you, it's the same thing. It's one of your main mantras. I need to lose. I need to lose 30 pounds. I need to lose 50 pounds. I need to lose. I need— no, you don't. You don't. You've been needing to— what's need mean? What does need mean? I never actually look up this specific word. You need to pay your taxes because if you don't, you go to, you go to jail. That's a stronger need. Let's look up the definition of need. Really drive my point home here. To require something essential. Well, that's an interesting definition, because if you're— if you need to lose 20 pounds and you've needed to lose 20 pounds for 10 years, being 20 pounds lighter is not essential. Do you understand what I mean? To be necessary. Well, we could say it's necessary, I suppose, but again, necessary is a relative concept. It's necessary for you to go to work because if you don't go to work, you won't have money to pay your bills and live where you live and do the things you like to do. So you internalize working is necessary. I need to take care of my kids. You internalize that is necessary because you hold that value at a higher level. Taking care of your kids is up here. Working's up here. Losing weight and being at the weight I want to is down here. That is why you're struggling. You're not truly motivated. If you're not truly motivated, you can't really take the actions necessary to get the results you want. But almost all of you that are struggling with your weight are not truly motivated. Is true. And I know I've done over 6,000 private weight loss sessions. So I must be right. Uh, Sassy says if you eat bad food, it'll affect your mental health. Yes, exactly, exactly. And that's the big one to focus on, I think. I mean, we all know if I eat— if I eat high-calorie, hyperpalatable food, my weight's gonna go up. We all know that, okay? But if it hasn't stopped you, like, if you know your weight's gonna go up and you keep eating it, that Again, it reveals your motivation. And what it means is, yeah, you want to lose weight, but you want to eat the food more. It's not a judgment, but we got to start— we got to start on solid ground. And the solid ground is what is now. And if you've been overweight for 20 years saying, I got to lose weight, and never doing it, you can't go into— you can't go into it again saying, this time I'm really motivated. Well, you've been motivated every other time you thought Anyways, yeah, if you have any questions, feel free to ask them. Yeah, PS says cruel, I need that. No, you don't. No one needs that, right? Again, we've been tricked into thinking that we need to be cruel to ourselves in order to get ourselves results, but that is bullshit. Being cruel to yourself just grinds you down to a pulp, so you got less resources to work with to achieve the goal you want to achieve. Again, let me put you back in your life. Think over teachers or bosses that you've had, the ones that were mean and cruel and punitive and always looking for something, nitpicking and passive-aggressive, or the ones that were more encouraging and supportive. Which one's better for your performance long term? Which one's better for your mental health? I mean, the answer is so obvious it hurts. But when you look at how you approach your weight, you're that Dickhead boss. You're the mean— you know what I mean? You're the devil. Where is Prada? I mean, you're just a shitbag to yourself. And you say, geez, I guess I just always— I never really considered it. I just somehow along the way, I just, I just started doing it. I did what I've been doing for my whole life, actually. I've never been encouraging and supportive with myself to manage my weight. You've never done it because you've never done it. It feels foreign. Even though logically, yeah, I guess it does make sense. It does make sense. If I was encouraging and supportive of myself, I'd get better results. That makes sense. I don't know how to do it. You've never learned how to do it. You don't know how to talk to yourself in a kind, supportive, encouraging way. You never learned it. Dieting really over-conditioned you to be really negative with yourself. Everything's built around the pain. Everything's built around sticking to it, white-knuckling yourself through it. So that becomes the way you think about losing weight. That's the mental trap I'm always talking about. That's the mental trap that dieting is. Never mind dieting, like specifically what it tells you to eat. I don't give a shit because veganism, carnivorism, they're exactly the same diet mindset even though they're completely opposite, polar opposite strategically, philosophically. What they're exactly the same with is they're both a diet mindset that you're going to start on Monday. 100% vegan or 100% carnivore. And it's that 100%. It's that punitive, rigid, strict, beating yourself up, forcing yourself to do something that's really hard. You don't want to do. That's the bullshit of dieting that does not work. We know this for a fact. But the problem has been that you've blamed yourself instead of blaming the diet, instead of blaming the diet approach, the diet mindset. You blame yourself for not being able to do this shitty ass strategy that doesn't work for anyone. Again, please remember, it is estimated that 85 to 95% of dieters that get to their goal weight, the successful dieters, 85 to 95% of them put the weight back on, which means that dieting has a historical effective rate of 10— no, 5 to 15%. So, you know, again, it's really not you. I know you think the 40th time around, if you're really strict enough and you really want it enough, you're going to succeed. No, because dieting is not a long-term strategy. It's not built for the long term. So there is that. Yeah, there we go. Pia says, yeah, okay, I want to. Yeah, there you go. Again, I need to lose weight. Think about it. You just say it to yourself. It's a little, little experiment you can do right now. But say whatever you— because you know you got your number, right? So you, you, you're You're always saying, I need to lose however much you say, but say, I need to lose this weight. And then say, I want to lose this weight. Notice if there's any difference in how you feel about those two phrases. You'll, you'll see it right now. They feel, they feel different inside of us because I need to feels like we're being forced. When humans feel like they're being forced, they tend to resist. You ever wonder why you got a rebellious part? Well, you're starting off that rebellious part just by the way you're phrasing your goal. I need to lose this weight. Now it feels like you're being pressured. Now you start to resist. Now say, I want to lose— I want to lose this weight. I want to feel better. I want to live better. I want to be better. Feels totally different because I want to is releasing your autonomy, your freedom to choose what you want. It's a completely different headspace, mindspace to live in. And that's just the beginning, you know, of walking a different path than dieters. Sassy says, I need to lose weight because I'm having heart problems. No, you don't. You've got to stop saying that, Sassy. I know you pulled out the heart problems, and I'm sorry you're dealing with that, but how long have you had heart problems, and how much weight have you lost since you found out you had heart problems? It's not that way. Shit, they did a study on men that— I forget, they were, they were all over 50, but they, they studied these men who had all gotten— had, had open heart surgery. So that's about as right, as deep into it as you can get. They tracked them afterwards. 20% changed their lifestyle. 20%. So there's literally not a situation that, that exists that you need to lose weight, short of if I, you know, you're my prisoner and you're in gym jail and I'm controlling your calories. And if I restrict your calories, you need to lose weight because I restricted your calories. And that's the natural order of things. But in a normal life, what need? Because I can't tell you. I mean, my father died of a heart attack at 54. He knew, he knew he had a bad heart, needed to lose the weight and didn't. So what does need mean? You know, I'm just telling you, it's, it's squishy language that, that can really trick us. You got to get yourself to a place where you, you always do what you want to do. When you actually have choice, you're always going to do what you want to do. That's the stronger force. The wanting is stronger than the, than the needing. You all have experienced this. You've all needed to lose weight and wanted the cookie. Which one won? Which one is winning? Do you understand? You're, you're fighting out— you're— it's apples and oranges. I want the cookie. I need to lose weight. Which one won? Oh, right. I want, I want the, the chips. I want the pizza. I want the cookies. I need to lose weight. Which one wins? Now what if we put, I want the cookies, they taste really good, but I really want to live the life I want to live. I want to feel better. I want my heart to be strong and healthy. I want to live a long, happy life. I want to feel good. I want to feel proud. I want to feel energized. I want to wake up excited to live the day I want to live. I want to be in control of my eating. I want to feel so good about who I am and how I'm living that I love living this way, and it makes it easier to make the choices I want to make to make that happen. Yeah, I, I like and want to eat those foods too, but you know what? I want to eat them less because I really want this other thing. You got to put apples to apples, want against want. Your wanting is the strongest motivation and power you've got access to, and you ain't using it. When you try and lose weight, you're trying to use the opposite of wanting. You're trying to use needing, have to. I gotta do this. No, you don't. No, you don't. You'll do what you want to do ultimately. And if what you subconsciously want to do is eat the food, you're going to eat the food. It's pretty simple. We don't have to get confused by— this is not tricky. Hope that makes sense. What's up, Lynn? Lynn says, I'm learning not to panic if I don't stick to the plan and realize that it's okay as long as I go back to being mindful. Yes, Lynn. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. A thousand times yes. That's what we're talking about, not to panic. That's why in Program Yourself Thin, the most important thing we build everything else on— the entire approach to managing your weight is built on the foundation of being calm. Calm. Your ability to be calm, to me, is one of the greatest indicators of your success or failure. That's why in Program Yourself Thin, every single hypnosis session calms you down. Calm's something you practice, by the way. It's just, oh, I can't calm down. Well, have you practiced it? It's just like anything else. You practice it, you get good at it. And boy, imagine how much easier it'd be to control your eating if you were able to calm yourself down genuinely. Well, I can tell you it's probably the greatest superpower you can have. So thanks for sharing that, Lynn, and keep that up. What's up, Christy? Chris says, hi Jim, good stuff here as always. I've removed should from my internal dialogue. Yes, yes, yes, that's awesome. Nice job, Christy. I'm glad to hear from you. Hope things are going well. Yeah, should, shoulds, need to, have to— these are, these are words that subconsciously mean something different than you think they do. True story, true story. Sassy says it has nothing to do with motivation. Please study obesity and why it happens. If it was truly purely motivation, there will be no fat people. No, Sassy, you're missing my point. It's absolutely about motivation, and it's about that you're not really motivated even if you have a heart issue. That's what I'm trying to tell you. I'll go right to the extreme. You have a heart issue, you go to the doctor, they say, listen, if you don't change your diet, you're going to die in 3 months. Most people aren't going to change their diet. That's what I'm trying to say. There is no need, there's only want. We know this. This is— you've experienced this yourself. I have studied obesity, by the way. I've been doing this for over 30 years, 20 years professionally, so I have studied it. And don't tell me the motivation is not a big part, because here, let me show you the difference between need and want. What if I said I'll give you a million dollars if you lose weight this month? I want you all to play this game. If I said, I come to you with a briefcase, I already paid the taxes on it, here is $1 million in cash if you lose weight this month, do you think you would act differently? Do you think your motivation would be higher if that was the case? It has nothing to do with motivation. How could, how could your weight have nothing to do with motivation? That, that's, you know what I mean? And again, is there science that like as you get obese it makes it harder to change your behaviors? Absolutely, absolutely. But how could everything not come back to motivation? To think that motivation has nothing to do with your weight— what are we thinking here? What are we thinking? Yeah, he says my dad died at 54, but he was not fat, he was normal weight. I don't know what he died of. He was in a group where he had to stop wanting anything. Yeah, but anyways, motivation's everything, folks. How could motivation have nothing to do with obesity? I mean, come on, you know. And I've worked with obese— I work with morbidly obese people, and even you are able to get— I don't know, you know. I know people get all upset because you said motivation. It's like, because there's so much money being made, it's saying there's nothing you can do to change it. There's a lot of money being made to make you feel powerless with your weight. To make it feel like, oh, the only thing that's going to work is GLP-1s or stomach surgery. That's it, that's it, because that's the only thing the medical industry can profit off of. But what if you study the people that successfully lose weight and keep it off? It's not a ton of them, but what happens when you start studying them? I'll tell you what happens is you start to notice patterns. You start to notice patterns of thought, mindset patterns of how they think and approach it. And success leaves clues. But again, I say this every day, that one of the biggest problems most people that want to lose weight have is they think their motivation's 10 out of 10. They think it's, I'm a level 10, I think about losing weight 24 hours a day. But just because you think about losing weight is not motivation. Motivation is expressed in what you do. So you can't tell me I'm motivated at level 10 and then, you know, go stop and get a bunch of junk food. You know, like, no, you, you can say you're at a level 10, but your actions are the reality that show you're not at a level 10. And I use the million dollars as a thought experiment just to prove the point that you have higher levels of motivations, folks, that you never even recognized you have, and you're not utilizing them. You're not truly motivated. I, I have never seen someone who's truly motivated not be able to lose weight. I've never seen it. I Can it, can it exist? I guess anything's possible, but I've never seen it. Sarah says, I've lost weight before and gained it all back, and I know how to be consistent. I just struggle with starting. Um, no, Sarah, you unfortunately, you don't know how to be consistent long term. We got to recognize that difference. That's what I'm trying to say. You can't look at like when you're really on plan and just fixated and focused on doing everything right, that's not really consistent. Consistency is when you can fall off track and then get right back on track. That's consistency. Being on a streak, being on a streak is not consistency. It's not real consistency. It's like temporary consistency. That's a— it's an illusion. You've all been on diets and been consistent when you're on the diet. That's not consistency. Consistency is when I go away for a week on vacation and just eat and drink everything I want. Then I come back and I fold right back into my plan. That's consistency. Consistent— you got to zoom out to understand consistency. Consistency is not when you're on your streak. It's not when you're on your challenge. It's not when you're perfect with your diet. That's not consistency. Consistency is what happens when you screw up. What happens when you make a mistake? That's consistency. And once you see that, Sarah, I think you'll be able to recognize that that's the thing you've never learned. You know how to be all But then you go to nothing. You need to learn how to be all or something. If you look at the last 2, 3 times when you've lost weight and then put it back on, if you could have been able to get yourself back on track faster, that would have changed everything. You don't know how to be something. I'm gonna bet, Sarah, that you've been all— everything's perfect, I'm consistent— then something happens, I'm completely doing nothing. Because once you get to that point, Sarah, then we skip, right? Your biggest struggle is starting. Once you get to be all or something, you don't have to ever start again. That's my point. When you're all or nothing, you're constantly in this, this dynamic of like doing everything. I, I always think of it metaphorically like this. You can think of a diet like this, right? Getting on a diet is like you're going to walk a tightrope, but the tightrope's way up in the air. So you got to climb up the ladder, then you got to go out there, then you start walking the tightrope. And it's like every step is this dangerous thing. And you're walking and you're doing it and you make a number of steps and sometimes you make 15 steps and sometimes you make 7. 17 steps, but you always fall because you always get tired, you always get distracted, and you fall all the way back down. Now you fall all the way back down. Now you're laying in the net back and forth looking. He's, oh my God, holy shit, I was doing so good. I made 18 steps out there and fuck, now I gotta start all over again. Oh. Now you feel a million miles away from up there. So that's what makes it hard to start. I think of programming yourself, then it's like, okay, fine, you want to think of like walking on a tightrope, but it's a tightrope that's an inch off the ground. So as soon as you fall, you just get right back on it. Fall, get right back on it. That's the secret. That's why you're starting is so hard, Sarah, because it's, it's so all or nothing. You're either doing everything perfect, walking each tightrope step perfectly focused 100% concentrating, or you're not doing anything and looking up at, oh shit, I gotta do that again. I gotta— come on, let's just, let's just start the climb again. Let's go. Knowing that you're gonna fall again too, by the way. Knowing that every time you start walking that tightrope, it's just a matter of time. Every diet is like an endurance test. It's never about are you going to master it, it's about how long can I do it for. So yeah, yep. Sarah says, unfortunately you were right, it was just my first time being consistent for like a year. Yeah. Sarah says, I gotta say though, you helped me a lot at that time. Yeah, okay, Sarah, but I'm helping you more now. How about that? I'm— Sarah, I promise you, again, please folks, I say this to everyone Because, well, the worst thing for me with program yourself, then sometimes the client I'm most scared of is the one that starts and is just like, oh my God, I lost 5 pounds this week. I lost 5 pounds. Oh my God, I'm doing everything perfect. Everything's perfect. That person freaks me out because they're just— I know they're starting program yourself, then they're approaching like a diet. We don't have to do everything perfect. So Sarah, for you, the biggest question you need to answer is, you know how to be consistent when you're all on track. Great. What you need to do is, how do I go from doing nothing to doing something. And the way you do that is you model when you were being consistent. How did it feel? What things, when you were being consistent, what things were easier and what things were harder? Start doing the easier things again, and you'll start to understand this process I'm talking about of always being in the game. See, right now it's so clear again. It's like a light switch. There was— I was being consistent and I was on perfect. Everything was great. And now I'm off. And you're making it a switch instead of a dimmer. You need to make it a dimmer. Okay, yeah, fine, you're not doing everything like you were last year, fine. But I know there's some things you could do that would feel relatively easy for you. And this is the thing your brain's doing because you haven't been learned to connect these, is doing little things consistently is so powerful. As dieters, we overlook that because everything has to be enormous big. Grand slams if it's going to work. But the real secret to success is being able to do small things consistently. And I know, Sarah, when you were on track, there were small things you were doing consistently that were easier. Start focusing on those and start doing those easier things now. Don't worry about doing everything. You're overwhelming yourself. You're trying— listen, I don't know if you got here in the beginning when I was talking about getting back on track after vacation. Getting back on track is getting on back on track. And what you need to be able to do is do little things that make you feel like you're on track, because right now you gotta either do it all again or I'm not doing anything, I'm getting ready to do it all. And that's what most of you dieters are in, that you're constantly in that phase waiting to do it all. Meanwhile, your whole life's passing you by, you know what I mean? And so again, we need to start seeing it as a dimmer, not a switch. Hope that makes sense. Um, Christy says, things are great, changing my thoughts and changing my life. Yes, nice. Christy's in the program, killing it. That's awesome. Happy for you. Um, yeah, Lois says being aware is very helpful and helps tell how to get back on track. Yes, being aware is the number one thing. I mean, it all starts with awareness and then we kind of go from there. Agreed. Um, Jody says I went on vacation and couldn't wait to get back to my scheduled eating. Yes, agreed. All right, Jody. Yeah, um, same with me. I, I literally, I got my salad waiting for me right after this. I cannot wait. I cannot wait to eat a giant salad. I've eaten a giant salad in 10 days now. 8 days, 10 days. I cannot wait to eat my salad. I also know it's probably gonna upset my stomach a little bit. I'm ready for that. I also know that I might not enjoy the salad as much as I normally do. I might, but I might not, because my taste buds have been acclimated to more processed food, you know, type things. So whatever though. But yeah, I can't wait to get back. That's like, I loved having my breakfast, my normal breakfast today, back to my normal routines, because I love my normal routines. That's the difference. That's what I'm trying to tell you all. See, you all think that to lose weight you have to be miserable. What I'm trying to tell you is that you can make managing your weight comfortable and easy, easy-ish. I mean, it still takes some effort, obviously, but it can be way easier than you've ever imagined because you've only thought about through the lens of a diet, you know. But when you figure out how to live the right lifestyle, the right eating patterns, the right mindset for you it becomes the way you want to live because it's custom-made to you. So I have taken a lot of time to create my ideal breakfast, lunch, dinner, my whole routines. Everything has been optimized so completely that I love when I get to come back to it. I love it. I like taking a break from it too, it was nice, but I can't wait to get back to my normal routines because that's where I feel best. So Sanjeev says, just returned from my holiday, only put on 500 500 grams. All right, yeah, lost in it, lost in a week. Nice job. Yeah, I put weight on too, and it's like I'm not even worried about it. My weight will— the weight I put on last week's an outlier because I don't live that way. So it's like, yeah, I ate more, so my weight went up a little, and now I come back and I eat what I normally eat and it'll go back. So not freaking out about that. Yeah, Sarah said, I felt so good about my skin feeling light, not waking up bloated and hating myself. I do anything to go back. Yes, I'm starting to get 10,000 steps every day. Yeah, okay, Sarah. So I mean, 10,000 steps is fine, but understand that even if you don't get 10,000 steps, it's still— because again, you need— what you need to recognize is when you're all in and when you're not in at all, like how different it is. Because I remember for me, like, my— I'm like, oh, I'm gonna start doing push-ups. And so my brain says, well, okay, well, when last time you did push-ups, you did this many, so let's do that. I was like, yeah, but that was, that was 2 years ago, you know? So it's like, let me, let me dial it down. Yeah, if I get back up there, cool, that's my goal. But if I start with something comfortable, I'll just do a quarter of that just to, just to do it and get started with it, you know? So what else did you do, Sarah? You know, maybe, maybe you didn't— you, you had a wider period of time when you didn't eat before you went to bed. Maybe you had an apple in the afternoon. You're eating some fruit, more fruit. Notice more the details. Again, that's where the awareness comes in. What were you doing when you were feeling really good? What made you feel really good? I do anything to go back? No, I do anything to go forward. Because, because you're not the person you were a year ago. That's what I'm saying. You need to optimize what you were doing. See, most of you take your weight loss plan and you, you put it in a vacuum chamber. No one can ever touch it. This is the plan. It's got to be this way. It can never change. Well, you better be able to change it because your motivation changes, your lifestyle changes, your schedule changes, your hunger changes, your hormones changes. There's all constant changes. So if we're always changing, but we're trying to follow this plan that has no change in it, how can that succeed? You know, so again, you don't want to go back. You want to go forward. Sarah, what do I want now? How do I want to feel today? How do I feel tomorrow in the future? So you don't keep looking back. The backs happen. You can learn stuff from it. You can, you can reflect and learn things from it, understand it. But the focus is moving forward. I do anything to go forward and feel like I, I did. That's what I want more than anything. That's a lot more powerful. No. Yeah, so I said thank you. And again, Sarah, I don't know if you've seen the— if you watched Reprogrammed, please go watch that. I think it's the best training I've done ever. Um, go get it. It's completely free, folks. Again, if you sign up for the hypnosis session, you get that. And, um, it's right there. Yeah, Pat says the book Atomic Habits is excellent. Yes, that's a very good one. Um, another great one is The Power of Habit. I actually like that one even a little bit more, but I think they're both super duper. Um, yes, Lo says we want a fulfilling life. Yes, yes, we got to make it about the life, right? Yeah, Lynn says I really needed to hear this podcast today. Well, I'm glad, I'm glad. Yeah, I'm so happy because, uh, like I said, I always I don't know, I start getting, uh, if I can't talk about this every weekday, it starts building up. I don't know if it's all— talk to my family about this, they don't want to hear that. That's good. Uh, what's up, Hillary? Hillary says, your insight on want winning over need is so powerful. Um, want winning over to need is powerful. I'll apply to my procrastinating and reapply my— to my weight management. Appreciate you so much, Jim. Yeah, thank you, Hillary. Yeah, um, again, yeah, wanting beats needing. I know it's weird. You know, real needing is powerful. Okay. But it's hard for us. We can't just decide we have a need. You know what I mean? We can't— I need to— I need to save more money. Well, yeah. How long have you needed to save more money? Unless something's actually changed in your life that makes it a real need. If yesterday you needed to do it and you didn't do it, and today you say you need to do it, you probably don't need to do it. Again, need is a specific meaning to it. You know, it's important that we recognize that. All right. I want to get out of here. Thank you so much. Great to be back. Um, if you're not in my world, please click the link in my bio, um, or go to programyourselfthin.com and go get the free hypnosis session I made for you. I also got the training that I just put up there called Reprogrammed: How to Live at Your Goal Weight Without the Fight. Um, and, uh, yeah, if you go opt in, you'll get all that. And, uh, I'm here every Monday through Friday around noon Eastern, so if you have any weight questions, feel free to pop in here, ask them. I'm happy to talk to you, um, see if we make some progress, help you move forward. And if you can't make the live and you like listening to this, it's also a podcast, so Um, you can search any podcast platform, search Program Yourself, then it'll pop up and you can listen anytime you want. And, um, yeah, that's that. All right, everyone, have a super duper day and we'll talk soon. Bye, everyone.