Succeeding In Social Situations

It everyone, welcome to today's program yourself thin podcast. Today we are talking about succeeding in social situations. It is here in America. Anyways, 4th of July weekend and it's kind of a big weekend for a lot of people cookout wise, social wise and for a lot of people kind of kicks off a whole season of a lot more social interaction. And learning how to deal with social situations and stay on track is obviously really, really important for your success. And the good news is that this solution is easy and enjoyable. Well, more easy than, more enjoyable than dieting because again, most dieters are going to go into this weekend and go into the season trying to hang on for dear life to their plan as much as they can. That's going to be their intention anyways. And what most people are going to find is they're going to go into this weekend in this season and they're going to blow their plan and they're not going to be able to get back on track for probably months. So don't mean to sound pessimistic, but that's the usual and that's the norm. So if you want to be different than the normal average person, if you want to get better results than the average dieter, then the secret is to learn how to manage social situations. And again, the, the, what I was referring to being easier and more enjoyable is that you don't have to be perfect. Excuse me. So that's the good news. You don't have to stick to your plan. All right, what we want to do is we want to have a more flexible plan. That's the secret. We want to create a more flexible plan, anticipate a more flexible plan, and then we want to practice and have a strategy to get back on track quickly. Saturday or Monday, that's the secret. The secret is not to white knuckle it through tomorrow or the weekend and not, you know, give in to anything so that by Monday you feel like you're ready to explode and burst. Right? That's not what we want to do. And we don't want to go into the holiday and the weekend thinking we're going to be perfect. And then as soon as we slightly get off track, we completely blow it. And now we're off track for months. So we don't want to do those two things. And yet that is what most dieters are about to do. So again, the alternative is to start thinking differently, to realize that again, weight loss is a short term process, but weight mastery, living at your goal weights a long term one. And I always Believe that the most important skill of mastering your weight, of living at your goal weight long term, is the ability to get back on track quickly. So what I'm saying to you is that I want you to start anticipating whatever social situations you may have coming up and imagine yourself eating more of the food, drinking more of the drinks, whatever you may do, getting a bit off track. And we want to expect that right from the beginning. Why? Because social situations, not all of them, okay? So again, you have to measure this into your own life, you know, but special occasions anyways, holidays, fun, parties you go to, they're meant to go and have fun. That and part of having fun is eating extra and, you know, eating the things you enjoy and doing the stuff you like to do. Okay? So we want to work on doing those things, but we want to work on doing a more moderately A. So we implement what I call my minimize the damage strategy. So you're going to go to cookout, you're going to do this different stuff. You might eat ice cream, might drink beers, you might have a couple burgers or dogs or whatever, and you may be off track from what you normally do, but you're not going to go as far off track as you may have in the past, okay? So we want to moderate, we want to make it better than what we've done in the past, okay? That being said, we're not going to try and be perfect because we don't want to be perfect either. There is nothing more destructive for your weight loss than when you try and be perfect in social situations, on holidays and special occasions. Because even if you get through the situation perfectly now, you're usually so upset that you feel like you didn't enjoy yourself, that you know you're wasting your life and making it real dramatic in there when you don't enjoy yourself at special occasions. So the secret is not to try and white knuckle it through there and be perfect in social situations. It's to work on moderation. And I want to be crystal clear, you may suck at moderation right now. Most dieters I know are terrible at moderation because they never practice it. Most dieters exist in an all or nothing mindset. So the idea of moderation, the idea of, you know, letting yourself get off track a little bit intentionally, it almost doesn't exist, right? You're going to be perfect. And it's going into these situations with a shitty, rigid strategy like trying to be perfect, that really is at the heart of a lot of your, the lackluster results you've gotten from dieting. So again, what I would suggest is you think about these social situations. You think about going into them and enjoying yourself as much as you possibly can. And I really asked that question very specifically because I want you to look at these social situations you may be going to. And with that question, how can I enjoy myself as much as I possibly can? And what you're going to find for an answer most likely is you're probably going to find that it's that middle ground, that sweet spot where you're not perfect but you're not also way out of control. It's in that middle and spot. And how you really get the most enjoyment of it when you zoom out and look at the big picture is if you can get right back on track, and whether that's Saturday for you or Monday for you is irrelevant. The point is that you have the ability to kind of go into situations and enjoy yourself, get a little bit off track, have flexibility, and then be able to get yourself right back on track quickly and easily. And when you start to practice this, it starts to become the norm and it's a nice middle of the road place to exist. I will go to a party tomorrow. I will eat and drink more than I normally would on a Friday, but then I will go right back to my normal routine on Saturday. Now, Saturday is a pleasure day for me, so that's relatively easy to do. Sunday's a pleasure day for me, but I will be right back on track Monday, I promise you I will be right back onto my normal Monday routine, guaranteed. So what I do tomorrow is not a big deal because I have pleasure days regularly. Tomorrow's really not. You know, again, you have to understand when you're dieting, there's a thing called the what the hell effect. When you're in this all or nothing mindset. The idea of doing anything off track because you're so restrictive with yourself that as soon as you let go a little bit, the whole kind of damn burst. But when you know, again program yourself, then we don't have this white knuckle, all or nothing approach. We more balanced. So we have clean and pleasure days every week. So we're used to having clean days, we're used to having pleasure days, we're used to getting back on track, having clean days, because we practice it every week. So every single week of my year, I have pleasure days where I'm going in and I'm working on moderating and enjoying myself. And then every week I practice getting back on track on Mondays for me, right back on track. So I'm prepared. So now all of a sudden, you know, Friday, tomorrow again, like I'll go a little bit off track. It'll be a pleasure day for me. Saturday and Sunday will be too. I'll consume more than I normally would on those three days typically. But I'll be right back on track Monday. And that is the secret to living at your goal weight. Because we got to stop thinking just in the short term how fast I can lose weight. And when you start zooming out and looking at living at your goal with the rest of your life, it doesn't take these extreme things that you're doing with your diets. It's a much more comfortable, you know, manageable, sustainable process. Okay. And so tomorrow and this weekend again, I'll crank it up a little bit more than I normally do on a weekend. But it won't matter because again, Monday I'll be right back on track. Remember? Right. In politics they always say it's not the crime, it's the COVID up. It's the same thing with your weight. It's not the binge, it's what you do after. And so if you can reduce the binge and you can get back on track quicker than you normally do, that's how you reduce your lower weight. Okay? So keep that in mind this weekend and practice it, I hope, because what you're going to find or just pay attention again, if you do this. Great. But almost just as valuable if you're a dieter and you. Okay, Jim, I love what you're saying, sounds great and all, but I'm just going to go, I'm going to stick to my diet. Great. Notice if it works or not though. Okay. Notice if you do go in with the intention that you're going to stick 100% to your diet. A notice if you do it, if you do it, great. Notice how it feels. Are you happy? Are you satisfied? Are you glad that you did that? Or do you feel like you missed out? That's A. And then B is if you don't stick to your plan. Right. If you go into that social situation with all the intention in the world and then you go and overdo it, I want you to reflect on this, what I'm saying here, okay. Because again, there's no failure, there's only feedback. So no matter what happens this weekend, if you learn from it, you can still move forward. Right? So again, the main point of what I'm saying is we want to have a bigger time frame. We Want to stop just looking like how the day went again? Yeah, days are important, but what's much more important is the weeks, the months and the years. Okay? So don't get, don't get too caught up in the next three days. You know, see the big picture. And again, whatever you end up doing this weekend, seek to learn from it, all right? So you can get better as you move forward. All right? So I hope this helps you out. If you want some help, go click the link in my bio. I'll give you a free hypnosis session. And I got a training for you. I got emails, I just put a cookout control session. So if you want some help with your, with, with cookouts, if you're going to cook out, you want a hypnosis session to help you with that, I just put one up for free. So again, just click in there, opt in and I'll get you that. And yeah, I hope it helps you out. And then I wish you a happy weekend if you're celebrating. So if you have any questions, feel free to ask them. Any weight loss questions are welcome. And I know it's not a normal time that people think about weight loss before a holiday, but again, I get on here live to talk to you about thinking about the holiday in a different way. And I think that's one of the best things you can do for yourself is to use the holidays as an opportunity to think differently about the weight and the food. But yeah, if you have any questions, feel free to ask them. Whether it's about holiday eating, cookouts, weight loss in general, or whatever it may be. I'm here to help you all out and I hope you all have a nice. Again, if you're in America, it's kind of a big, it's kind of a big weekend, I'd say, right? Especially on Friday. It's kind of nice. It's on Friday. I like my holidays on Fridays and Mondays. I'm not a big fan of like a Thursday, Tuesday, Wednesday holiday. I like long weekends, so I think most, most people do. But yeah, if you got any questions and if you don't, that's fine too because it might be a day just to kind of move along, give you a quick message and move along today, which might be all right too. I will mention if you are a normal listener of the program and you've been on the fence about getting the program, this weekend is the last weekend you'll be able to get it at that discount price does go up Monday. So I am letting you Know that ahead of time because again, the program has been completely redesigned from the ground up. There's a community app now that's also included. There will be a free version of that as well for those. Even those of you that are not in the program, but the clients that are on the program. The. The whole Circle app's been redone, and that's available now as well. So, again, keep that in mind if you are thinking about getting the program and get it. Yeah. This weekend. You know, if you were thinking about it. What's up, Sherry? How's it going? Because. Yeah, because everything is kind of changing next week in terms my business. So anyways, get in while you can for that price and go check it out. I got some cool stuff coming. I've been working on the Circle app. I got a lot of cool stuff happening in there, so it's pretty exciting. But in the meantime. Yeah, all right, you know what? Maybe we'll wrap it up. Nice short one today. Sounds good. All right, everyone, have a super duper day. If you're not my world again, click the link in my bio. Go get the hypnosis session I give you. Watch the training I made, read the emails I send, use the stuff I give you. I got all sorts of free stuff. More free stuff coming. Go check it out. If you like listening to this, I'm usually here Monday through Friday, usually around noon Eastern. You can ask any questions you got. Feel free to ask them. I'm happy to help you out. And if you like listening to this and you miss the live, it's also a podcast and you can listen to it. It's program yourself. Then you can go search any podcast platform and search for that and you'll find it. All right. And that'll help you out. Yeah, sure. Says a bit stuck in a plateau, but keeping Mount Everest in mind. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. So that no big deal, right? Plateaus are no big deal. We just relax into them. You know, again, we always start. We meet every challenge we want to meet, kind of with a sense of grounded, centered relaxation. Right. Which doesn't mean we're not ready to take action. Okay. So it's an activated state, but it's active in a calm, relaxed way. So we can think clearly, see things more clearly. And, you know, being stuck in a plateau, you know, and I tend to look at. I mean, plateaus just are going to happen no matter what. Literally no matter what. There's no success. It's just a straight line of success down every day. You're Losing weight, that just never happens. And so plateaus are normal. But again, as soon as I hit a plateau, what I really do is I shift my focus onto my behaviors. Because, of course, it's my behaviors that are reflecting in my weight. And so when I'm plateauing at my weight, a, I approach it as maintenance. Okay, I'm gonna deal with it as maintenance. And I tell myself that my weight is a reflection of my behavior. What can I do with my behavior? How can I shift and change my behavior a bit to get myself back on track? And so start noticing, you know, the behaviors, the calories, the. The lifestyle behaviors, sleeping, hydration, relaxation, movement. Pay attention especially to those and. And again, meet the plateau with patience. Again, we. There's no rush because anything you're going to do to kick the plateau back into gear, we. We want it to be something that's sustainable for us. So there's no point in doing some dramatic action that gets us there. You know that already. But again, just so kind of relax and use it as an option to practice your maintenance. Optimize what you're doing, meaning make whatever you've done to lose weight so far, make it easier, more enjoyable, right? Make your meals easier and more enjoyable. Make your routines and patterns more easier, enjoyable. And that's a nice way to practice maintenance. And a lot of times it's going to kickstart your weight loss again because as you start to optimize and make what you've been doing easier and more enjoyable, you tend to get better at it. All right? So, all right, everyone, have a super duper weekend. Have a nice fourth of July if you're in America. And if you're celebrating anything this weekend, I hope you have a nice weekend, nice relaxing time, enjoy yourself, and we'll talk soon. Bye.