Joel SilverstoneFounder, TFR:This Feels Right · Leadership and Communication skills that matter

Effective communication to feel right, it starts with listening.

19 Aug 2020 · 1 min

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In this instructional video, the speaker introduces an exercise called “listening without solving the problem,” aimed at improving interpersonal communication. He explains that our natural urge to fix others’ issues can block true listening, causing us to miss emotional and factual cues. He outlines three concrete steps for better listening: (1) attend to the speaker’s emotions, (2) capture the factual information they share, and (3) identify what matters most to them—their core concerns or values. By synthesizing these three layers and reflecting them back to the speaker, the listener creates a sense that the conversation “feels right,” fostering deeper connection and more effective communication.

Chapters

Hi there. For an effective communication to feel right, it starts with listening. So here's an exercise I like to do with my participants called listening without solving the problem. Because in our human nature, we want to help. We want to solve the problem. And it gets in the way of our listening. We're missing all the clues and cues that are happening right in front of us because we are solution-focused. So here's the 3 things that you can do the next time you're listening. Listen for the emotions that you see. Listen for the facts that you hear. And 3, most important, listen for what's most important to that person. What do they care about? And when you put that together and share that back with the other person, the communication is going to feel right.