When a conversation stalls, emotions are usually blocking progress, not the actual problem. Check your own feelings first, then listen to what's really bothering the other person. Once you both feel heard, you can actually solve things together.
Productive conversation tip number 5. And I love this one. I'm going to give it a chef kiss. If you're feeling stuck in your conversation, it's not productive, it's not effective, it's not moving forward, then I encourage you to practice this. Solve the emotion before solving the problem. One, we're human beings. We're not automated yet. And emotions are important to us. It's how we make our decisions first. That's how we know it feels right before we move forward. Number 2, when you are focused, On your task, on the numbers, on their behavior. You're basically making them the problem. Well, that's a clue that emotions are getting in the way. If they're not collaborating and they're not responding the way that you like them to, then it's emotions. So take a step back. Check in. What are your emotions? What's going on for you? And more importantly, what's going on for them? What are the emotions that they're dealing with? Is it not feeling safe? Is it about their ego? Is it about their career? Is it about growth or understanding? And then when you're able to focus on the relationship by listening, by empathizing, taking that step back, you're now solving the emotion before solving the problem. And what happens is the two of you are now looking at the problem together instead of each other. Let me know how it goes.
The Feedback Shift: Moving from Directives to Co-Active Growth | Joel Silverstone
Apply a Framework Designed to Improve Influence and Communication | Joel Silverstone | Ep. 170
