Letting Go to Allow Flow

Greetings, everyone. I'm John Murphy, and welcome to our 4th session now of Fearless, which launched just this year, beginning of 2026. And today we have an awesome guest, Ali Sweeney. Ali is also a Fuel instructor. She's got a great course on meditation for beginners. And, you know, Ali knows this about me. I've been meditating every day for, like, 25, 30 years, and I wouldn't miss it. To me, it's just absolutely essential first thing in the morning to get centered, to get grounded, and to approach the day without fear. So Fearless is all about identifying the things that are holding you back in life. Why aren't you where you dream of being? And then uncovering those limitations, those limiting beliefs, and deleting them, essentially removing the barriers. So that's the true message in empowerment, is allowing the natural flow of life to move through you without interference. So we get in our own way. We go through life with the brakes on when we accept fear and we don't let it go. So today's really about letting go. A quick review of the first 3 sessions. In session 1, if you hadn't seen it, we looked at just the origin of fear. Which is the ego mindset and where it comes from. And the fact that it isn't that thing out there that scares us, it's what we think of that thing out there that scares us. It's all in the mind. So what scares one person doesn't scare someone else. These are projections. So when we start to understand fear and understand it's not a bad thing, but it is something that needs to be managed carefully because if it takes over our lives, we just end up repeating the past and trying to get through the day. In the second session, I challenged everyone to draw a picture of yourself 5 years out. What do you look like physically? What do you feel like emotionally? What do you think mentally and intellectually? Who are you with? In terms of socially, what's your financial situation look like? Where do you live? These kinds of things. Be as specific as you can in an ideal way. Think big. Wow, that would be ideal. And I gave an example of how I did that 35 years ago and have continued to do it repeatedly. And back then I was thinking, God, it'd be really great if I could write a book and get published and then maybe a bestseller and, and And maybe get on stage with some big names and things like that and make, you know, millions of dollars and all that kind of stuff and live on the beach somewhere. And guess what? I've got 20 books published. I live on Palm Beach and I've been on stage with some of the biggest names in the world. So it's worth stretching a little bit and drawing that picture. But then the real key is when you do that, Well, how do you feel about that picture? And if there's any hint of doubt, like, well, that's, I could never do that. I mean, that's, that's a dream. You just uncovered a major barrier that we need to let go of. Okay? And I shared some examples of that. So if you haven't seen the first 3 episodes, go back and check them out on, on YouTube or at Fuel. And be sure to check out Mindset Matters too. Ali's a host at Mindset Matters on Mondays. And in fact, she's got a show coming up this coming Monday that she can talk about a little bit. And with that, we're gonna get right into this. So the theme now today is all about letting go, release, delete, whatever term you, you're comfortable with. And it, it's from the 4 Steps to Inner Peace. One of my Fuel courses is called Beyond Doubt, and in an award-winning book called Beyond Doubt: 4 Steps to Inner Peace. illustrates these 4 steps. Let be, let go, let's see, and let flow. So let be is about being present, being mindful. Mindset Matters is a great way to learn more ways to be present. And in that be present state, you identify what's going on with your feelings, with your thoughts. You really become mindful of the mind. And in that Phase, you learn to identify things to let go of. So today, that's what we're gonna do. We're gonna look at what kind of things can we let go of that are, that are holding us back. So with that, Ali, let me, uh, and let me ask you a, a question to get started. What triggered this for you? This, like, how did you come to realize you had some things that you really needed to let go of? to essentially get out of your own way a little bit, as I like to put it. What— tell us your story.

Yeah. Gosh. Well, it is quite a story. Thanks for having me on, John, and for opening this up for everybody today. And hopefully people will put in the chat too, with whatever questions or comments or things come up for you. Gosh, my story is I think I'm gonna start in the middle. I, when I first, so now I teach meditation, right? Like you, it is a core part of my life because it really connects me with me, right? And I spent a huge part of my life not being connected. And I remember being in like those early meditation classes with a group of people and you'd have these meditations and then you talk afterwards, right? That's how those like meditation groups would go. And everybody would start talking about all this fear that they had that came up for them. And I would look at them and I'd be like, what in the world are these people so afraid of?

Hmm.

I had, like, no concept of it. And I believe now that I was being shown that so I could see my own fear, because I was in complete denial. So my story is that I had a very, um, I had a very scary childhood, and as a result, I created control and perfection. I was scared to death of making a mistake because that meant I would get hurt. And so I created all of these ways of high performance, and some of that worked really well in our society, right? And it worked. And this is what you'll find as you go down this self-discovery path is it works until it doesn't work, right?

Mm-hmm.

So it— those things I created early in my childhood to just sort of survive that fear, the real fear— I really did have things to be afraid of— um, they came with me as I became an adult and didn't have those things to be afraid of. But I still had the habitual alarm sounding of fear. And so it wasn't until I could become aware of that trigger, that alarm that sounds. And for me, I don't know what it feels like for you all, but for me, it feels like a lightning bolt that hits my system. So it just, like, starts in the pit of my belly, and it comes straight up to my head, and then I am afraid. And what happens when you hit into fight or flight is your brain function disappears, right? So it becomes this, you're just focused on survival. You can't do any of the other creative things or dream about like getting to that ideal vision from that fear state. It's impossible. So what I learned how to do was calm that alarm. So, and there's some really simple techniques. One, one of them I teach in the Fuel courses. Mine is called, um, Worry Less, Trust More. But basically it's about putting one hand on your belly and one hand on your heart and just reminding yourself that you are safe. Because it's so important to come out of that kind of false fear, right? Because now at this point, I don't have the things, I don't have that scary thing happening. So it's about letting yourself come down out of that alarm. And just taking— so I would just take 3 breaths with my hand on my belly and remind myself that I'm safe. And that being able to come down out of that alarm helped me to see how many times a day I was stuck in that alarm. So hopefully that makes some—

Yeah.

That makes some sense, is just regularly soothing that alarm. And then I think the other thing, you know, one of the tools that's really helpful when you're trying to let go is how you move out of the pattern. So my pattern was to get afraid and then spin in that fear. And what helped me interrupt the pattern was mantras.

Mm-hmm.

So I don't know if you use those, John, but like what hap— what ended up happening to me is I spent so much time in fight and flight and fight or flight and fear that my body broke down. So, which is common, right? When you're just in that high-intensity state for too long, that's what can happen. And so I got to this place where I really didn't trust my body. And so I turned to more control, more perfection, my old habits. And so my mantra became— Thank you, body, for reminding me how good I can feel when without having to be in control. And what you're doing when you do that is interrupting that old thought pattern, right? I have something to be afraid of, to actually what you're looking forward to is just this body that feels really good just because it can.

Yeah, you said a couple of things, Allie, I'll comment on that are so important. One, just the hand on the heart and on the belly. And the, and the breathing, you know, the, the key there is to become more present. Right? So that the mind, the conscious mind wanders a lot. And, and there's, I've seen studies where it's not present for more than 11 seconds at a time, and then it's off to tomorrow or next year or last year.

Yeah.

And, and meanwhile, the subconscious mind, the programmed mind is running your life. And if there's fear buried in that subconscious program, which of course there is, Your conscious mind, your will can say, I'm not gonna be afraid, or I am gonna do this, or I'm gonna stop doing that. You know, I'm gonna break this habit. And the subconscious mind's going, no, you're not. Good luck with that. And you, that's where people struggle.

Yeah.

So it isn't, it really isn't about willpower. It's more about identifying those, those, the baggage, emotional baggage and the weight that's weighing people down. And releasing it, which is the topic of this. You asked about mantras. I use mantras every day and affirmations big time. And so one of the exercises I'll challenge the listeners with is write down 20 I ams. I am fill in the blank. Not 1 or 2, but 20. And be brutally honest with yourself. And if one of them's something like, well, I am afraid. Um, I'm concerned. I'm worried about the world. I'm struggling with this thing in my life. A child, a parent.

Mm-hmm.

The government. Look at those I ams and be brutally honest. And if there are any that are negative, you've just identified something to delete. I do this every day. I go through 20 I Ams and not one of them is negative. So my I Ams would be things like, I am inspired in spirit. In spirit means fearless. You can't be afraid if you're inspired.

Mm-hmm.

I am loving. I am kind. I am compassionate. I am creative. I am bright. I am loved. I am generous. Okay? I am peaceful. I am joyful. You can go on and on and on, but you, you, that's how you reprogram your mind is with positive affirmations. And in time, you be, they begin to overcome these. I am not worthy. That's what I grew up with. You know, Ali, you talked about, you know, your, it's the struggle you had growing up. I grew up every week in church saying I'm not worthy. I'm a sinner. If I'm not a good boy, I'm gonna go to hell. And you grow up with these fear programs and you spend your, the rest of your life there. By the way, most of your programming is by the age of 6. You know, I've talked about this before. So if I'm downloaded with a bunch of programs by the age of 6 that I don't even remember, really.

Yeah.

And they're—

You don't even know they're there.

Yeah, and they're getting in my way. The only way out of that to true freedom and peace is deletion. You know, so another, and Ali, you've heard me use this little Zen teaching, but whatever it is you're feeling that isn't great, let's just say, let it in the front door and let it out the back door, but don't invite it for tea. So if you're feeling afraid, of anything, don't lock the front door. Don't pretend like you're not afraid. Don't resist, because anything you resist, you make stronger. Don't try to block it. That's the conscious will trying to say, well, I can get through this.

Yeah. That was me sitting in that meditation class going, I don't have any fear.

Yeah. And then we have to process it. Like, why am I afraid? It's almost like having a conversation with the fear.

Yeah.

Like, it's one component of many of your personalities. So tell me, and it's like you're minding your mind, and then you're like, okay, it's time to leave, fear, because I've got a job to do. Yeah. I've gotta jump out of this airplane with a parachute or You know, whatever.

So recognize that you're not actually afraid, currently afraid, like it's old, or, right, it's just a habit to be afraid, or that you, you know, you're patterned in being afraid. It doesn't necessarily mean that you have to be afraid, like that there is something to be afraid of. Yeah.

And, you know, you mentioned too that your body responded, you know, you, you, You started to feel it physically, and you know the cortisol and the adrenaline, the the stress hormones. I mean, the science, of course, is pretty clear these days. It breaks down your immune system. It accelerates aging. Okay, so you it's certainly not healthy to go through life stressing out and and afraid. So in your case, you said it really it it it hits you, and you and you told me that you you want listeners to understand you don't have to wait. Until you're in the hospital, you know, you had a heart attack or, you know, something like that. So talk a little bit about triggers, if you will, and some of the things that helped you not just identify, but delete or release these, these fears that you had.

Yeah. So triggers are this lightning bolt. Like, so everybody gets really down, like, on triggers, right? Oh, I got triggered and it was terrible. Triggers are designed to catch your awareness. So they are telling you, here, look here, look here. And so you can use them as a tool to have that conversation with yourself, like John's talking about, and go, what is it about this that is trying to get my attention? So it's just this really beautiful— I never, before I learned this about triggers, I was always super frustrated by them. wanna look at a trigger. I just blamed the other person for triggering me.

It's not me.

Right? But now I— but now I can see it as this really powerful tool to catch my attention. So just something I wanna encourage people, like, now that I've mentioned triggers, right, you'll probably have a week where you notice some. So when you do, be like, oh, what is that?

What?

And what is going on? This is where curiosity is your best friend. It just— get really curious and see what comes to you. And notice, right, that if there's fear there, probably you're drawn to this course, to this class, because you got something going on with fear, right?

Mm-hmm.

So if you notice that fear, like John's talking about, you know, even right now, you could invite yourself into your body. And remember a time maybe you felt afraid, or if you currently have some fear in your system, like, feel in where is it in your body and really just let yourself— like, for me, it's kind of always on the left side, like right above my hip. And so I just imagine my attention going there and letting yourself sit with it for just a moment. So, and what's important here is you don't sit with it all day. It's like John said, you let it go.

Yeah.

But what I learned is that I was afraid of going toward the fear. Like, I felt like that would just be too scary for me. But what I learned is that if I just would go to it, it wasn't actually that scary. And then I could just feel the fear for what it was. And this amazing thing starts to happen when you pay attention to it. It starts to soften, it starts to release. And that's, that's what, that's how it let goes, let's go with actually just your attention. And, um, I think we get afraid of that because it's so uncomfortable. And that's something that in our world, like we're taught to, to try never to be uncomfortable.

Mm-hmm.

But that just keeps us more uncomfortable. Because it's blocking that healing. Yeah.

You know, we talked about certain parts of your body that it will show up in. One of the meditations, one of the many meditations I do regularly, it's a Taoist meditation. And the Tao is all about flow, the great flow of life. Right. And aligning with the current. I know you like that word alignment, but this particular meditation, It's essentially a body scan where you just, you say to your knee that's hurting or your back or not just the part that's hurting, but you can literally just sit there and breathe and go through your, your body.

Mm-hmm.

And the one word you tell it to do is relax. So hip of mine, right hip of mine, relax. Left knee of mine, Relax, heart of mine. You can go right through your glands, your organs, your tissues, your ribs, your bones, whatever. And you are just being present, let be. And you are minding your mind and your body responds. It really does. So the other thing I wanted to say, and Mike had some great observations here in the chat about About the positive affirmations. The first lesson in my course on creative problem solving for fuel is titled Prove It. So as a business consultant, you know, I go into companies and they'll say, we have a problem, you know, John, or somebody tells me they have a problem and I'll say, prove it. They're like, what do you mean prove it? Show me the data. Let me see the facts. And that eliminates probably half the problems right there. 'Cause there, there are, there aren't any. It's just like an illusion. But what I mean by prove it, when you're doing your affirmations and you say, I am loving, stop and identify one example from the last 24 hours where you proved it. I am generous. Prove it. And you start to, because when you, you have evidence that you are capable of these things that you might have doubt about. But you give evidence of it. You're like, wow, I was generous with my time yesterday. I gave somebody some time to work something out. I bought lunch for somebody or what. But I am confident. Prove it. What did you do yesterday to demonstrate confidence? You could go through all 20 or whatever affirmations you have. And if you, if you spend just a little bit of time on evidence, it, it's powerful. It's not theory at that point. It's experiential. So, and then, and, and Mike also said here, Ali, I don't know if you see the chat, but, you know, love the story and the Fuel program. And Ali, love the fear, love dialogue too, from the IFS.

What's that? Internal Family Systems.

Okay, gotcha. You want to comment on that a little bit?

Oh, well, so IFS is Internal Family Systems. It's about, um, loving all the parts of you. So even if you have fear, like bringing love to the fear. And so that's what this talks about is just that attention, um, And so kind of in, and similar to what you're talking about, the book is, the book with IFS is called No Bad Parts. And so when you're talking about having those negative beliefs, right? What if that wasn't true? What if there were no bad parts of you? Right? When I learned, someone once taught me that you have inherent worth. Right? Just for being alive. And now I call it vital worth. Just for being alive, you are valuable on this time. And so I think that that is a— if you're having trouble proving it to yourself, right? What if you let yourself trust that it was true that you were valuable before, you know, to get yourself started on the way to being able to prove it, right? 'Cause sometimes you're so, Mm-hmm. At least that's where I was, right? Sometimes you have no value. And just believing that just by being alive, it's important that you're here, that you have something to share, something to give, that you're needed. Those are all like, you get to be lovable just because you're alive. That really helped me then be able to fill my bucket a little bit so then I could give in loving capacities, right? Or that I could love myself and, um, be able to prove that to my— to myself. Does that make sense?

Yeah. Yeah. And I would— and we just have, I think, a few minutes left here, uh, Allie. But I— a question I just— I want everybody to be thinking about, and, and you can give an example because we've talked about it, and that is just How do you let? How did you let go of some of these scare your scary upbringing, and how how did you get past that in in a practical way? I know you've talked about leaning into it and processing it, but what we might what might we share with listeners that could help them take identify one fear, one doubt. Think of it. I think of it as resistance where you're you're. You've, you've closed the valve, and if you could just find a way to open that valve, then the flow of life, the Tao, would, would, would flow through you. And that's true empowerment. You know, when you, when you open the valve, the natural forces of life flow. It's like the acorn becomes the oak. It doesn't try to. It, it's supposed to. It's the essence is growth and, and, and flow. So how did you identify a valve? Maybe through a trigger and then open it. How did you do that?

Yeah, so it's a lot of the tools that we talked about are the very first steps, but right, find getting the awareness, you know, stepping into those pieces, loving yourself. But it's also alignment. So an alignment for me is knowing who you are, what you want, and why you want it. And so, like, I had all these faulty beliefs that I was able to finally identify about who I thought I was because of the childhood I had, which turned out to be not true at all.

Yeah.

And so really remembering, that's the, that's the fun thing about this is the you, you wanna be is already inside you. So if you just remember that person, right? Who you really are. And then what you wanna do with that and why, because that helps your motivation to keep it going. That's where I really found like the floodgates opened was—

Yes.

And you know, I think that's where you kind of come full circle here where that ideal vision really helps. Because when you can imagine your ideal day, right? And what that looks like, You're really, um, letting yourself dream about what's possible, and it helps connect you with who you are and what you want and why you want it. And so, um, that's where I just feel like that when you get that clear, and the next step of that is then not compromising those values.

Yes.

So a lot of times we're trained to like, you know, take other people's needs before our own, or, right? That's part of that valuable— are you valuable enough to put yourself in the driver's seat of your life? Right?

Yeah.

And so, um, that's kind of the next step of it is then deciding what you wanna do and taking that personal empowerment. And that's where it— this is what's funny about this, John, to me, is that that's where fear can come back in. Is when you start to take those steps out of where you've been, fear will pop up because it's something new. And that, that's really a natural, normal response that your body gives because we're evolutionarily designed to avoid change. But just to, to have the courage to step through anyway.

Yeah.

Because the other side of this, that's what you really want. And so it, I don't know, it, it takes a, it takes a step of trust, but it's so worth it. Yeah. Um, and, and that fear popping up doesn't mean you're doing the wrong thing. I think that's where a lot of people turn around and just do what they've been doing cuz they feel the fear. Oh, that must be a signal that I shouldn't do this. But it's just a signal that you're at the edge of growth and that you're ready for the next thing.

Yeah, I love that. You're, you're right at the edge of, of further growth and expansion. And I, yeah, I have a different take on, on people and change. I think we're designed designed for change. We cannot not change. Every second of every day, we're changing at the cellular level, 50 trillion cells, every one of those cells doing 6 trillion things per second.

Yeah.

That's a miracle in itself. The body is a miracle. And the energy that connects everything, again, that's the flow. And Einstein once said, the field is the sole governing agency of the particle. So what's the field? It's this massive cosmic energy, the soup, so to speak, that we all swim in. And when we get out of the myopic, what's in it for me ego mindset and actually trust thy will over my will, so to speak, open things just open up. And these things that used to scare us are just minor. So, so for the audience, what I really encourage you to do with this episode is Just identify one obstacle, one thing you worry about. Geez, I'm worried about my kid. I'm worried about my health. I'm worried about the country. One thing that worries you and flip it over. Flip it over. So I'm not worried. And how does that feel? I have nothing to fear. How does that feel? I have nothing to doubt. How does that feel? And again, what you're uncovering are subconscious programs where the, this, the programming is there and you have to then reprogram, you know, delete it. Bruce Lipton calls it viruses of the mind. If you think about a computer with a virus, you got, Yeah. You know, you can change your keyboard all day long, but it's not operating right. Right. So, and I always like, I like to leave people with this metaphor because I, I, I was a competitive quarterback growing up. And when you approach the line of scrimmage in football, Uh, you know, you have a play called, you have a plan, it's part of a game plan and a strategy, and, and you know what you want to happen. Um, but the truth is, is when that ball is snapped and the play takes off, you have no idea what's gonna happen. So use that as a metaphor when you get outta bed in the morning. You're at the line of scrimmage, the edge, you know, as you put it, Ali.

Yeah.

And ask yourself, how do I feel? How do I feel when I wake up in the morning? Am I excited? Am I enthusiastic? Do I have a lot of positive things that I'm looking forward to? Or am I terrified? Um, you know, am I worried about some project I gotta do or some speech I gotta give or an interview I gotta go into, whatever that is? And that is critical because if you approach the line of scrimmage, uh, in football and you're afraid and you're timid and you're resistant and hesitant, mm-hmm, it's game over. So use that as a metaphor for life. Identify what is it that's, you know, concerning me. And why, and have that conversation, but just don't invite it for tea. So, Allie, you got Mindset Matters on Monday. You wanna just tee that up real quick?

I do. I'll be back on Monday at, at 9 Mountain, 11 Eastern, um, back on the Fuel Channel. Uh, we are, and for February, I'm really excited. We're gonna be talking about, um, Don Miguel Ruiz's Four Agreements. And so on Monday, we're talking about being impeccable with your word. So check that out. And I, I just wanna put in a plug too, John, that if, um, this is what I do is help people uncover those programs. And so if they want extra help, find me. And, um, my business is called Alight Insight, and I'm happy to help you take a look at some of those pieces together.

Yeah, definitely, uh, track down, uh, Allie and, and find her. courses and her social media. She's got some wonderful blogs that she puts out. And that, you know, February's gonna be a great month with Mindset Matters. I've, I've got a session on The Third Agreement. I believe it's the 16th. I'm very excited about that. And next week on Fearless, we're gonna really start getting into the ego thought system, which is the root cause to fear. It's the attachment to the ego and its comparative fear-based dualistic nature. I'll be referencing Dr. David Hawkins' Map of Consciousness, which is a tool that completely changed my life about 20 years ago. So tune in for that and bring some friends along. Anybody who's got a little fear or doubt in life, this is the, this is the place to come learn about how to get rid of that.

Yeah.

Okay. With that, Allie, thank you so much. Again, we'll see, hopefully a lot of people here will see you on Monday. And I'll be back next Friday. And then I've got 2 great guests coming from Fuel in mid-February. Okay, so stay tuned.

Thanks, everybody. Thanks, John. I appreciate it.

You got it. Bye-bye.