SSP 003: How To Surrender To The Present Moment

Hello, state shifters listeners. Welcome back to the podcast. Today we're going to be talking about letting go and surrender. So surrender and letting go is quite a broad topic and can mean a lot of different things for different people. And for me, as I'll discuss with Collins in a second, letting go is just a matter of surrendering to the present moment. And what does it mean to surrender the present moment? Well, that's going to be some of the areas we'll address throughout the podcast, but for me, it's just a matter of accepting conditions as they are. And regardless if conditions are good or bad, you can surrender any expectations or surrender any possible outcomes that you might wish to happen in each moment and then be free and be happy. So acceptance and surrender is very broad, but it's a great way to kind of detach from any expectations and any preconceived ideas of how life should be. When you master surrender and letting go, life becomes very peaceful. Hopefully in this episode you can get some understanding or some tips or ways or practical advice for how you can practice surrendering or letting go in your day. Collins is very good at breaking down this into simple terms, so listen to some of the examples he gives and apply them. So enjoy the episode. Collins, welcome back, mate. Episode three of our podcast series. How's it going?

Good buddy. Good to have you on the dog and bone again.

Yeah, likewise, mate. We've switched it up a bit today. It's nighttime for me now and morning for you. Usually it's the other way around. How you feeling? How you feeling about the morning session?

Feeling fresh? Yeah, man, I love it.

Yeah. Sunday morning.

Love it. Yeah. Fresh off my wine tour yesterday.

Nice one.

Feeling good?

Yeah, same, same. It's starting to get real cold here in Canada now. Some mostly indoor activities for me. Starting to snow. So that's always. That's always a sign winter's coming.

I missed the days where we had to snowball fights in Canada.

Oh, I'm actually looking forward to it. Kind of looking forward to a cold Christmas. Man, oh, man, we never got one last time.

Yeah, that'd be wicked.

Yeah. Well, today we're thinking about, for a podcast topic, surrender and letting go. So I'll actually would define surrender and letting go kind of as the same meaning. I think it's an important topic for people to understand what that actually means, because when you say let go or surrender, you know, what does that mean to you? Because, you know, if you're not really aware of, like, the process behind it, it can be a little Bit misleading.

Yeah, that's true. I think to me like surrendering or letting go to the current moment is really getting to a point of like the same thing we always talk about getting to a point of, of no mind getting to that awareness behind, behind the thought. Because if you think about it, the reason of surrendering or letting go would be a resistance to the current moment or a holding on to trying to control the current moment rather than allowing it to be just the way it is now. If you look at the control or wanting to control the current moment, that's usually based around fear. So the fear of not being or the situation not going the way you want it to, or having the result of it end up badly for you. So you try to manipulate and control it it and you resist it. And that fear can only be based on future thought. So by basing yourself and trying to practice meditation and things like that to get yourself to the current moment, you automatically surrender because you're not resisting that moment anymore. And you'll find, I think once you become aware, you'll notice when you're resisting the current moment, you either get like a tenseness in the chest or you start shallow breathing or you, you start getting fidgety because you don't want to be where you are. And I think once you get to that point where you can just accept the moment as it is, if you're unable to change it, you get to this place of peace where you're not, you're not, there's no internal resistance anymore.

So powerful. You asked my question before I asked it, was going to ask how you, how do you know you're resisting the moment? And you said, you know, bodily sensations, you know, shallow breath and tenseness. And that's an important one. If you're self aware enough, you can kind of pick up on the times when you're often out of alignment with the present moment. And like you said, it's usually because you're about the future or past. And that creates tension in the body. You know, if you're self aware enough, you can catch these things and then just remember, bring yourself back to the present moment. There is no problems in this moment. Problems are only created when we resist what is. So yeah, surrender and letting go is about removing resistance really, isn't it?

Yeah, that's right. I think, I think the same thing we've talked about before. It's usually through, that's why it's usually through pain that people have a lot of growth because when they're in pain, all they want to do is try and escape that pain. And the quickest way to do that is to bring yourself to the now. And once you realize that because you've dissociated yourself away from that pain, you automatically surrender it all because you're not attached to anymore. It's not who you are. And that's what it's. I think in my head, that's what it's about as well. Surrendering to the image of yourself, surrendering to the moment, surrendering to the situation around you and just accepting the fact that this moment is as it is because it is meant to be. I think it's a tough. Yeah, tough, tough.

It is tough. I feel like. You know what I mean? Like, until you're in a. It's very easy to talk about it when you're not kind of in a situation where you need to let go of something. Because, you know, obviously when. When you do find yourself in a situation where you're. Yeah, you're struck, you're resisting something or something hasn't gone the way you'd like it, or, you know, you're not happy with where you are at the moment. Like practicing letting go. Like, how would you, you know, tell, like, guide someone through that process? For me, I've noticed the best way to let it go is, is you really have to feel it first. You have to just acknowledge that it's there. You know, that before you can even surrender to anything. So was there, like a process behind? Like, when. Is there any examples of when you've had to surrender something or let go of something quite large or significant?

Yeah, man, that's a good point. I think you're right that you have to. Surrendering isn't just about forgetting about it. It's about moving through the pain, accepting, acknowledging is there, accepting it and then letting it go. I think it was a big turning point for me. I think we've discussed before in young relationships where you're. It's usually a lot of teenagers, first source of pain is through breakup or, you know, someone cheating on them or something like that. And I'm not. I'm no different. That was the same for me. That was my big first experience with pain, was getting. It was getting cheated on, which affected me quite largely at the time. But due to this, the reading that I'd been doing on surrender and acceptance at the moment allowed me to get over it so much quicker than I would have been able to. Because you can see. I mean, I see with a lot of other people that have gone through the same situation five, six, seven years later, they're still holding onto it. There's no forgiveness there. They're completely resistant to the thought because they never truly forgave it. I think what kind of helped me in surrendering was a quote from, from the Art of Happiness, which is the book that I was reading at the time, and I'd highly recommend. It says if the other person that you're. You're resisting had exactly the same life situation as you, exactly the same thoughts and emotions and feelings as you, they would have acted in exactly the same way and had exactly the same outcome. Now, I think, to me, that instantly brings me peace because what it's trying to say is every situation that you have is a decision. Throughout your life, you've made millions, probably billions of decisions. And the decision for me has always been to accept the current moment as it is or to change it. And if you don't have the ability to change it, you have to accept it. All else is just going to cause you suffering. I think that was one of the, probably the key realizations I had from that. The whole. Your entire life is built up of decisions. So if by resisting this current moment, you're resisting every decision you've ever made, because all of those decisions have led you to the situation you're in right now. That was a big one for me, man, because I was like, how can I resist this moment? Because that is me technically saying every decision I've ever made was incorrect.

Yeah, like, yeah, that's such a good way of putting it. Because I guess you could always ask yourself in this moment, if I can't change anything, like, if you're not happy with something, what can you do to change it? And then you can kind of like, you know, list the things you can do in this moment to change something. But most of the time you can't really do anything. So you've got no choice. But the only logical thing to do is accept it. Because anything other than that is useless. Wasted thinking, wasted energy, creating your own suffering. Because most of the time the situations out of control, like being cheated on, you can't change that it's happened. You know, you had no option there but to accept it. And it's, it's, it's hard. But that whole process is like, I reckon it take a lot of time. And I've actually made note of something because I think it's a big thing for particularly males when it comes to, like, surrender and letting go. More like emotional feelings, because most Men find it difficult to actually feel the emotion first, like to be able to experience it. Men run from their emotions all the time. Women are very good at facing. They'll cry it out, man. Most men don't. We will go and drink alcohol or something. So to get cheated on and then experience the emotions first and then that begins the letting go process. Sometimes it might take time, but the quickest way to get there is, yeah, just feel it and then. Unfortunately, men wear a mask of masculinity sometimes when it comes to these things, act like they don't need to experience the emotion, but it's a massive necessary step in letting it go. So like, yeah, relationships, man, that's a big one.

Good point.

A big one that we could talk about as well. Because relationships about letting go and surrendering constantly to the other person because you can't change them. You know, if you think you can change someone else, then you're fighting a losing battle all the time. So, yeah, I've learned that a lot about my relationship as well, is accepting someone for who they are and then that creates so much peace around yourself and the relationship. So most relationships fail because people are constantly trying to change each other to fit their needs or their wants. Have you experienced any times when you've had to like accept someone for who they are or let go of wanting to change someone?

Yeah, that's actually a really good question. I think you don't. Not, not even, not even just in, you know, physical emotional relationships, but like just friendships or with family. Family members are often the hardest. Yeah, so true is family. Because I think the people that you have the most conditioned behavior with, you have the most reactive and unconscious relationships sometimes.

So true.

Yeah. So you've got to try and snap yourself. I mean, we've spoken about this like with our parents. Like my mum's probably the person I like resist the most. Which is, which is really funny because I'm. Because I think I'm just operating off conditioned behavior. So it's often a chance to really practice consciousness when you're around your family to get out of those conditioned habits. But I think, I think one little saying I like to do to myself whenever I feel like I'm in a bit of a down mood or I'm in a judgmental mood or I'm not looking forward to the people I'm going to hang out with, I just say it's like a little mantra you say to yourself in the morning. You just breathe in and say, today I will not judge anything that happens. And you can repeat that to yourself throughout the day. It's just a practice of making sure that you're aware throughout the day that whenever something happens, you don't instantaneously and reactively judge it or categorize it as bad or good. Or you basically just try and come to that point of neutrality where every experience is just as it is. There is no good or bad.

That's powerful.

That's a little practice that you can. If you can try and do that more and more and more, you'll just find that your existence is so much smoother, it's much happier because you're not. You've got slowly starting to get rid of this internal resistance to the moment. It's powerful. Powerful feeling, man.

Yeah. Do you think mantras and affirmations, are they a helpful little tool when it comes to practicing surrender and letting go? I know in my phone I've got a little folder, I keep all my affirmations and mantras that I like to sometimes repeat for five minutes in the morning. And now I kind of feel like they're imprinted in my brain so I don't even need to look at my phone. I kind of just pull them when I need them. Like what you do with that mantra, that could be a helpful tool for people if you feel like you're struggling with judgment or letting go, write something in your phone. Just repeat in the morning. And then when the time comes and you need a gentle reminder, you kind of just. Yeah, it's a little pointer.

Like, keeps you. Yeah.

Keeps you on track.

That's right. It's just making that mind, that memory association. So throughout the day, whenever you start judging someone, it kind of triggers that memory so you instantaneously become aware of. Then you can accept it and let it go.

And mine is, I repeat to myself, I release the inclination to make anyone else wrong. So by saying I obviously like. It's very easy to try and especially when I'm a very health conscious person, I see people eating bad foods and it's not my responsibility to tell them, you're doing this wrong, do it this way. Like you said, they're on their own path and their decisions have led up to that moment in their life and they're taking the necessary steps to take them where they need to go. And sometimes I feel people, you don't need to try and correct people when they're not ready to be. Yeah, you know, that's right. Ready for that advice.

But.

So that's what I've found for me Letting go, that's.

That's just a can of worms, eh? Yeah, that's a whole new, that's a whole new topic. Because I think, yeah, people who are defensive of their, of their identity, very strong identity. At least it was Barack Obama who said, you can disagree, but you don't have to be disagreeable. You don't have to like that because that in itself is internal resistance, is resistance to other people's opinions. And you get, I mean, that's often when you get the most tense, man. You ever see people that are so strongly passionate about an ideology, when someone contradicts that they have a physical reaction to an emotional reaction. The mind causes the body to go into like a shock.

Yeah.

Just amazing that people can be so strongly attached to a thought or an idea and are so resistant to people who have an opposite opinion. Not saying that you shouldn't have an opinion like the saying, you can disagree with people, but you don't have to be disagreeable. One of the most famous quotes in the world, man, be the change you want to see in the world. Rather than trying to convince people through shouting. I always said, I can't think of one time where telling someone they are wrong change their opinion. Usually when you fight someone verbally, if they're strongly identified, it actually strengthens their identity. Or if you act in a way that you want them to act without judging the way they are. And a lot of the time they'll naturally, naturally see that your way of acting may be more beneficial to the, to the world because no one's fighting them anymore.

I've noticed it so many times in terms of just little things, man. Like when I started eating, when I started changing my diet and eating a lot cleaner, you know, obviously my family was. When I first started, I was very much trying to tell them, oh, you shouldn't be eating this. You guys are eating the wrong foods. And now obviously, because I'm trying to tell them, trying to force something onto them, they were resisting that. They weren't. They were just like, oh, mate, come on, you know, get over it. But when I learned to just, you know, do be the change I wanted to see in the world, and the change I wanted to see was I wanted to live a healthier life. So instead of me trying to change other people first, I just lived the life that I want to live. I lived a healthy, you know, I developed good habits and people picked up on that around me, man. So, like, my close friends and family naturally started inquiring more about why I was Doing this instead of me having to force it onto them, which wasn't working at the start. Now they were more receptive to trying these new ways of living, new ways of eating, because I was living it myself instead of trying to force someone else to live what I thought to be right.

Yeah, that's right.

When you notice that firsthand, it's. Yeah, like you said, that's a powerful quote that Gandhi said. It's cool.

I think that's an important point as well, man. Yeah, the need to be. The need. I mean, the need to be right is. Is ingrained into surrender because that comes with the surrender, is surrendering of control. And control comes from the mind's need to be right all the time. Because if you can control the situation, you can manipulate it so that you're always right. And I think that that point of this was. This was an important thing for me. I think growing up, understanding that I don't know what's best for other people.

Yeah, yeah.

It's not like. Like you're saying before. It's not. I mean, outside of. Outside of practical matters. Like, I know that you shouldn't put your hand in fire or I know that you should outside of survival matters. Why would I know what's best for someone outside of what they think is best for them? And it's the need to be. It comes from the need to be right, man. If you think someone's doing something that they shouldn't be, you think you should tell them how you do it because it's the right way to do it.

Yeah.

I just think it's just by letting go of that. It's just a way of loosening that identity. Getting rid of the ego's need to be. To be right all the time.

Yeah, it's freeing, mate. Free. Frees up so much peace when you know you don't have to.

Yeah.

Worry about telling people or feeling like you're superior than anyone else. That's another one as well. Like the ego likes feeling better or worse than someone. You know, I mean, like when. Yeah, yeah. Especially with comparison. Like, you always think, look, it likes to look down on people, or you look up to people. Like, I like.

Yeah.

You're noticing that when it happens. That's. That's something that. Yeah. You can see the ego with a mind at work there when you. And then obviously bringing awareness to those is the first step. But yeah, I wanted to bring. Bring it back to you. Spoke about going into relationships with your parents is very, very instilled habits and Behaviors with. With our parents and families. Do you have, like, particular techniques to try and bring more like, consciousness to those relationships? Because that's hard, like, letting go of all those past. You know, so much past there, man. You know, even in your family home, there's so many past memories. And it's. I noticed in myself, you slip into just like unconscious behavior. Do you have, like, techniques to surrender to the past or let go of?

That's a difficult question. It's exactly right. It's. It's the people that we've had the most past interactions with or the most past conditioned behavior that we're most likely to be unconscious around, which is a bit of a paradox, I think. Like, most people think that with their friends and family, they're obviously like, because they love them so much, they're always. They're always going to be obviously aware of what they're doing. If you observe the relationships with your close friends and family, a lot of the time it is just unconscious conditioned behavior. Because especially if you're doing, like a routine, which you often are with your family, like breakfast time, dinner time, transport to and from places. It's usually like a record, autopilot, something. Yeah, exactly. Something I've definitely struggled with, mainly with my mum, I think. And it's. It's based on. It's based on identity, man. It's based on identity. It's based on who you think you are, who you think they are and what you think the relationship is and should be.

Mm.

I think meant it to. I mean, you definitely see it with some. With some people and their parents, where they just have such a free relationship. Yeah. Where there is no. That no one's playing a role. It's not. It's not. I'm a rot. I am the father, I'm the mother, I am the child. You know, it's like you literally treat them just like another human being. Yeah. Which I think if you can. If you can, like. Yeah, it's. It. I mean, that goes back to the topic of letting go. Letting go of all past attachment to. To that. To that relationship. Treating every interaction as if it's new. Yeah. I think that applies with everyone, to be honest. But it's hardest with the people that you are that you know best, especially. I mean, I know a lot of people, they feel confined around those people that they have to then stay in the Persona that people think they are.

Yeah.

So sometimes it can be. It can be a freeing thing to get out of that locked feeling of being the person that you need to be or think you should. Me? Yeah, it's, it's a, it's a definitely hard thing to do though, I think, I think you just have to practice bringing yourself to the now.

Letting go to the old you, you know, surrendering to the past. Which is difficult for a lot of people. Yeah, yeah.

I, I always wonder, I always think about that like what people who, who hold on to bad past memories. Because I find this fascinating. Because if you think about it, if people who hold onto these bad past memories, they've gone through something that's caused a lot of suffering and a lot of pain, then because of their attachment to that situation, every thought about it replicates the pain they first experienced. So you're actually putting yourself through pain constantly by bringing it up again and again. So if you think about it logically, it makes absolutely no sense. The only logical thing to do would be then to let go of your attachment to the initial situation and stop the self caused suffering that you're putting yourself through. Yeah, I think, I think, I think a lot of the time actually bringing, like trying to be literally taking all emotion out of the situation and thinking about it logically and neutrally, not having a bias or an opinion about it, you come to a conclude a logical conclusion that you're right, that you are causing yourself your own suffering. And that, I mean it's. The dalai Lama says 90% of suffering is self caused.

Yeah.

Like I mean Eckhart says 100% of suffering is self caused. And pain, pain is what we can't avoid. Pain is from outside sources.

Yeah.

So you know, suffering is, is a replication of the past situation in the mind that constantly brings up and resurfaces the initial suffering that you caught that was caused by the situation. By letting it go as quickly as you can. And as you practice, you can let go of things quicker and quicker. By doing that, you just enter this space where you're not causing yourself that continual suffering anymore and it becomes this lovely place of peace where you feel like you have a sense of freedom.

Yeah. That's an important thing for people to remember. Yeah. Pain is inevitable. We're going to experience pain at some point. It's just practicing. Obviously the suffering side of things is optional and then the optional side to suffering comes from your ability to let go or surrender and how quickly you can do that. So yeah, that's a good point. Experience the pain, but don't suffer. Suffer is. Suffering is self inflicted pain essentially. So yeah, however long your letting go process requires, then that's where the strengthening of your awareness comes into it. The greater the pain, the greater the amount of letting go that needs to be done, but also the greater amount of growth you will have because you also, nothing will ever come close to your strongest pain. And for us, that was our relationship. We now we're at a place where we were able to let go of that pain. So now we're better equipped to handle other painful situations in our life because we now have the ability to let go of things quicker. But for people who obviously have traumatic experiences or past traumas, that letting go process might be very, very painful. But yes, right, they need to experience it, to let go of it, you know, instead of trying to constantly avoid it. But what in terms of acceptance of, like, everyone's in a different situation in their life. Everyone has a different life story. And some people are happy with where they are, some people aren't happy with where they are. Whether that's in a job or a relationship or circumstance, Acceptance of your current situation is the first thing to do. How would you advise or help someone if they're not happy with like a job or a relationship and they want to make a change, but they don't know how? Like, what, what would be your steps behind accepting a current situation?

I mean, I think everyone will probably come to a realization a little bit in a little bit of a different way. For me, it was, it was, it was the realization that everything is happening the way it should be happening, which is based on the fact that, yeah, like I said before, all the past decisions have left to this exact moment. So I resisting now, I'm resisting every past decision I've ever made.

Yeah.

And that thought for me was really what triggered the idea that I have to accept now as it's happening, because it is happening and it couldn't happen any other way. Then once you've got to that point of acceptance, you think, okay, I've accepted what's happening about this situation. Acceptance doesn't mean that you can't change it just relinquishes the resistance to the current moment, then you can choose to change it. If something about it is inflicting pain on you or you're in an uncomfortable situation, you choose to. You have the choice to change it in many different ways, whichever way that presents to you. And if you don't, then you. Then you have two decisions. You can either accept it or you can inflict suffering on yourself through resistance to that moment. But for me, it was the thought that everything is as it should Be man. And you look at you. I think. I think what you talk about a lot is nature. For me, that. That's a big pointer in the fact that everything is the way it should be because you have it. Sit around in a park or even observe a tree in nature, there is no resistance. Everything happens just the way it. Just the way it does, just the way it's meant to be. And when you. When you can sit there and observe that, you see that that is actually within yourself as well. Yeah, I think nature for me is big. A big pointer in the right direction. Yeah.

I had. I noticed something other day when walking through the. Because obviously it's fall over here, so all the leaves are starting to fall off the trees, man. And I was like, yeah, yeah. I think I might have told you about this, but I walked past some trees, had already lost all their leaves, but then there were some trees that still had all their leaves on, like, literally right next to each other. I thought, you know, like, if that was a human, you know, a human would be like, oh, maybe I should start losing my leaves now. If he's already lost all his leaves, maybe he knows something I don't. Trees don't compare themselves to each other, man. They. It just happens the way it's meant to happen. You know, there's no comparison. It's just. It just unfolds naturally. Like, and we're the same. We naturally unfold as humans the way we are meant to as individuals. We don't need to compare or, you know, like, compare our current situation with anyone else's because we're all on different paths. Just like the tree losing their leaves, man. They. He will lose his leaves when he's ready, and there is no resistance in that. So, yeah, nature's. Nature's great. I love. Yeah. I guess if someone. If you're trying to let go or surrender to something, maybe spend some time out sitting in nature. Sitting. Yeah, sitting in a park. Listen to your. Listen to what you're feeling. And then maybe just being in that environment, being around natural things that have no resistance can maybe, you know, revert.

Definitely rubs off on you.

Yeah, it does.

I think important point as well is to. Not. Because, I mean, I want to keep bringing this up because, I mean, whenever you're doing a practice. Anything that we say or that you read anywhere else, important part is to not judge yourself if you don't think you're doing it correctly. So if you. If you go to sit in a park and you try to observe nature and you Just. You feel like you're getting flooded with thoughts. The first thing, the reaction, the first thing usually is to. Is to judge the fact that you're not meditating correctly or you're thinking too much. The important point is just to be aware of the thoughts as they're occurring. And that's, that's exactly what, that's, that's the resistance as well. And resistance to the. To. To internally, resistance to your current internal situation. It's about relinquishing that as well and just accepting the thoughts that occur as they occur. Focus on. Focus on the nature. Focus on. Use your senses, you know, sight, hearing, feeling, to experience it, to experience it fully. And as long as you keep your awareness on that, the thoughts will gradually subside.

Yeah, I mean, the first thing to Letting Go is. One of our favorite books is Letting Go by David Hawkins. If you haven't read that, I always recommend that to people. It's one of my favorite books and that had a big impact on my life. But he speaks about first acknowledging any unwanted feeling or emotion before. That's the first. So you have to acknowledge it, be aware that it's there, and then, as we say, bring awareness to it. And then from that you can let it go. So it's being able to be self aware enough that you can acknowledge that you're experiencing something without judging it. That's vitally important. And sometimes it requires solitude. It requires a bit of silence. You did take some time and take 20 to 30 minutes alone with your thoughts to see what comes up. Because sometimes we're so busy, we're just getting distracted from what we're really feeling. We often people feel like a yearning or dissatisfaction, but they don't know what's causing it. It's because they don't need to sit alone. And whatever comes up, if it's a painful thing that comes up, that's what you need to let go. That's what you need to acknowledge and experience and then let go. Because if you don't take time to meditate or be in nature or just silently contemplate your thoughts, you always harbor hidden resistance to what is. And that's been such a powerful thing for me is like spending more time alone to be aware of the type of feelings and emotions I'm having. And then, yeah, obviously once you let it all go, it's just very peaceful to just sit out in nature and be at peace with where you are in your current life without resisting anything.

So I think that's. I think that is a hard Part as well. Because when you're becoming aware of it, if you do have painful thoughts, it. It does hurt. It's not like sometimes it's not a pleasant experience. But realizing that you have to go through it rather than constantly resist and push it away and forget about it is an important part to reaching that place where you just so, like, so much more peaceful.

Yeah. I mean, that's why I always say when people. I see people who have, like, just come out of a relationship and they. And they go out for a night out with their friends, say they're always the people that get the most drunk. And always the people go home early because they just try and drink, drink their problems away. And I'm always like, man, if you just come out of a breakup, the last thing I'd want to do is go out and get hammered. Because drinking alcohol just like, compounds the pain. You wake up the next day and just. You'd hate your life, mate. The first thing I do if I experience when I experience pain again is, mate, go sit silently for an hour or however long it takes to fully let go of all the emotions that I'm experiencing. Like, breaking up with someone is a tough one. It's a big, you know, it's a big chunk of your past, a big chunk of your identity that's now falling away. And it's. It's so painful for the mind and the ego to go through that. But if you can see if you can say, like, I would honestly suggest just sitting and meditating for however long you need to. And I would like you said it would be so painful, it would suck. Because all you want to do is be around your friends, distract yourself from what you're feeling. But if you could, you could do that and really go through the process of accepting and letting go that you will get over the situation a lot quicker. You will move on a lot quicker. That's why females usually get over breakups a lot quicker than men, because they cry it out, mate. They just feel it and they just cry. But men, we get drunk, man, we go out and try and forget about it, but it's not the right way to do it.

Yeah, mate, that's exactly right.

I mean, could keep talking on about this for hours, man, because I know.

It'S a big topic.

Yeah, A lot of people, because everyone experiences it. Everyone goes through pain and yeah, it's important that people understand how to properly deal with pain and surrender and how to let go properly.

Yeah, I think that's it. I mean, that really Was the biggest point for me is understanding separating that. What's caused externally and what am I causing? You know, the two differences of pain. I think that the thought that. The thought that by bringing it up and attaching myself to the past situation, you're literally putting yourself through the pain that you've already experienced again and again.

Yeah.

So why logically would you want to do that to yourself? That was the thought that really was just like, wow. Like, it actually makes no sense for me to hold onto this thought. So by letting it go, the pain will obviously disappear. Yeah.

I remember you told me one time, why would you. It's like stabbing yourself with a knife constantly when you keep thinking about something.

Yeah. Every time you think about it, technically, you might just be stabbing yourself. You're putting yourself through that pain. Yeah, that's exactly right.

It's ludicrous, man. Absolutely.

Yeah, that's right. Good quotes. I think to get over any pain or anger, holding resentment or anger towards someone else is like taking a cyanide tablet and expecting them to die.

Yeah, it's good.

Yeah. It's like the only person that's hurt within that is yourself. It's. Yeah, it's really funny. The anger towards someone may be satisfied, may be satisfying. It'll give you a feeling of correctness or rightness that you. You're right, the other person's wrong for whatever reasons, and you're angry at them because of that. You get a. You get a rush. You get a sense of, like, a feeling, a nice sensation. I think that's why people. A lot of people hold on to it, but realizing that letting go of that anger to someone else because it's only really hurting yourself is an important point to getting over it as well.

Yeah, that's a great point, Josh. We might have to wrap it up there, mate. We've talked about some pretty important topics. Yeah, man. Really appreciate your input on this. It's been. I reckon this is a big topic for people and for me and you. Because it's a constant practice every day, man. It's like. And I've really. I've really enjoyed talking about it because it's. Yeah, like I said, it's. It's a big. It's a big thing for me. Like letting go. It's such an important practice. And every day. Letting go all the time.

No, you're on my. Cheers, buddy. So it was a good. I think we've. I mean, it's definitely been an important part of my spiritual growth, and I can. I can definitely say I'm a happier person due to it. Due to practicing it as much as I can.

Yeah, for sure. Okay, mate, thanks. Thanks a lot. Yeah, buddy.

Good way to start the Sunday.

No problem, mate. We'll talk to you again soon.

All right, man.

See you, man.

Goodbye.