SSP 006: Overcoming Anxiety

State Shifters Podcast Episode six Dealing with Anxiety.

Welcome to the State Shifters Podcast.

Welcome back, State Shifters. This is episode six of the podcast. I'm really excited to share this episode because this was another good one. This was really. We got a lot of good information here and I think it's a topic that really relates to me because, you know, we're speaking about anxiety and anxiety is something that a lot of people are suffering more from. I think there's a number of things that are contributing to that. For me, the main thing is not being in the present moment. You know, we can relate everything back to any old suffering could be related back to not being in the present moment. But anxiety is one thing that I'm noticing, particularly my generation or millennials, it's more prevalent and reason being is because we are living in this world where our image or how we look to others is not necessarily congruent with how we feel within ourselves. So how do we bridge that gap between how we want people, how we perceive people to see us, and how we actually feel? So anxiety, for me comes from not being content with the present moment. There is a resistance in the moment that we try and make up by projecting an image outward to everyone else. But really deep down, we're fearful of the future, we're fearful of how we actually feel. So, you know, I've dealt with my share of anxiety attacks, or you call them panic attacks, and, you know, I will share ways that help me deal with them. So enjoy the episode. You're going to get a lot from this one. And we will reconvene soon. Collins, welcome back, mate. Episode six of the State Shifters podcast. How are we today?

Very well, mate. Good afternoon there, I think.

Is it evening? Actually, for me, 7:30 in the evening. Yeah.

Nice to. Nice to speak to you again.

Yeah. How is it in Sydney?

Still warm? Beautiful, mate. Finally. Humidity has ceased. Got a bit more cooler weather, which is nice.

Good, good.

Yeah, yeah, it's lovely. Still cold over there, isn't it?

It is, yeah. Today and yesterday was freezing. Very cold. Bit of snow fall down again. So I don't think winter's ever going. To be honest, I've accepted that winter is permanent over here. So today we're going to discuss how people can deal with anxiety because I think anxiety is becoming increasingly common. I guess we can go into the reasons why anxiety is becoming prevalent in, I think, mainly younger generation. So I'm hoping we can give people some advice on how to deal with anxious thoughts or ways people can reduce their levels of anxiety. Anxiety, I believe, can take many forms. So I think we'll start off by, you know, what do you think anxiety is? And like, why do you think people get anxiety?

Yeah, I think you're right, man. I think it's a massively growing trend that people are constantly anxious or constantly, I don't know, constantly nervous about things or wanting to. Wanting for things to go a certain way. I think there's a few things there, but I think it's all sourced from one thing. And that's like the fundamental thought of spirituality, which is attachment to the I that you've created. I think that's the. The underlying source of all anxiety and all suffering, really, is that you confuse this form on this rock on this earth that we live on as the real you. And so all of the suffering that is inherent within living a human life goes along with that. And you take it very seriously and very personally. But on a more micro level, I think it's kind of a. One based on fear. And then fear is due to needing to have control. So I think, I mean, I find a lot of people with anxiety, they're always, look, they're always anxious because something is. Something is going to happen that is outside of their control and they want to be able to control it. And there's that mismatch there, creates that anxiety. And then obviously the thoughts about that created even more. And I think hopefully, I mean, I think we've probably both been through it before. Maybe not to the extent as some other people, but I mean, I think everyone's experienced anxiety. Hopefully we can come up with some, I suppose, actionable things to help people just get through it. I think one of those is obviously meditation, but there's a few other things I think we can touch on as well. I think before you do anything, you have to kind of realize the differentiation between the I and the self you've created and then the underlying wholeness of true self. Yeah, no, very true.

Do you like. Obviously, since coming over to Canada, I think I've spoken about one of the previous episodes, like a changing career path for me. So I now work in Mindful Healing center that uses frequencies to help people deal with various stresses both from within and without. And we get quite a diverse range of people that come through to the clinic. And, you know, one of the definite correlations with the symptoms people describe is anxiety. Anxiety is very common for people coming down and wanting to learn how to meditate. And, you know, I've noticed since coming to Canada, it's a big thing over here as well. I think probably more so than back home in Australia. And you know, I think a lot of it can go back to again, like you said, the, the mind made story and how we like to compare and when, when, when the image of ourselves doesn't match what we believe our image to be in real life, I think there creates that kind of dissonance and it comes from, for me, I think it's coming from social media. And here it's, here it's very much about the image. It's about your social status and how you're projected, how your image is projected out. And when that image kind of, you know, takes over your life and your life becomes about maintaining your status online. People get anxious when they compare themselves to others. When they see other people with, you know, more followers or have more things, it's like they're not enough as they are. So I think it's, it's a lot to do with, yeah, the image we create of ourselves. So like the attachment to the identity of ourselves. Yeah, it's definitely a root cause of anxiety.

I met a lot of people as well with work where work, work produces that anxiety. I mean, I think, I think when you're, when you're, when you see yourself as an anxious person, anything can bring you anxiety. But there are, there are bigger, there are bigger things. And I've seen people at work being like, I'm really like stressed and anxious at the moment. And I'm like, and like, like I've told you before, I just, like, I just, I just going to say, why, why is that? I say, oh, because this person's, this person's, you know, not treating me well at work or I'm not, I'm getting, I'm not getting the recognition I deserve. And I was like, okay, so why do you need that? What, what will recognition give you? I go by being recognized, I'll get, you know, I'll get a promotion and I'll, you know, earn more money. I'm like, okay, so why is that important? I go, because I want to earn more money so I can be successful. I want to get a promotion so I can be, I can be recognized as successful in my job. I go, so, okay, why is that important? And eventually, eventually they get to the point, the point where they've come to the end of their realization of, okay, this is why I'm doing what I'm doing right now to get to this goal, so this distant goal at the end. And I think part of detaching yourself from this image is understanding. I think this was the biggest thing for me. Understanding that within the life we live, nothing truly matters in the life that we've created. And I think I've told you this before, the realization you have of the. Because for me, that's the biggest driver to take away anxiety. Because if anxiety is fear about where I am going to be in the future and how I am going to be viewed, then thinking about how insignificant the I is takes all the pressure away from that future image that you are trying to gain for me. I think there are so many ways to realize insignificance of the life that you've created. I think what the Dalai Lama says, I think what I took a lot of positive energy out of was just almost like a logical way of looking at it. Like this produces suffering, this produces happiness, right?

Yeah.

If I know that this path that I'm on and you call like you put it nail on Henry said resistance. I think people are, when they're anxious, they're just resisting the current moment because they think that a future moment will be better. So they resist where they are right now. And when you're in that state of resistance, it's self inflicted suffering. So you're going, oh, I don't like where I am, I don't like who I'm around. I want to be there, I want to. How do I get there? And then you start thinking future, future, future, future, thought about steps to get to that place. Right. So you're currently resisting where you are and never quite truly where you are now. And that creates suffering for yourself. So why would you want to go down that road? Because I think most people are aware that the anxiety is caused by, by them and their own thoughts and they know that, but they don't know how to get rid of it. Yeah. So I think thinking about it logically and going, this suffering is self caused. I am actually in control of this. Why would I then choose to do it? And it's driven by that end goal of this is who I want to be, this is how I'm going to get there. Whereas I think what you've exhibited is that to get to the end goal, you just have to do what you're doing right now. It's a hard thing to grasp, I think. But if you think about it logically, why would you want to cause your own suffering?

That's very true. Seems to me like the reason behind it is most people have a poor relationship with the present moment. So you know, they're obsessing about future moments. So like, the main advice would be to help someone, you know, regain their relationship to this moment. So, you know, there's many things that, you know, many practices you can implement in your days so you can, you know, better ensure that you're living in the moment. You know, can be as simple as like taking more conscious breaths, you know, walking mindfully, you know, checking in daily with, you know, your surroundings. But I think the struggle is for most people like that, for the people that suffer anxiety anyway, is maybe they know this is the case. I know like, I know I'm obsessing about the future. I know I'm like, I'm not in the moment. I think some, for these people the mind is often very active and they struggle to kind of quieten down that mental chatter. And the reason I know this is because like, I'm one of those people, like if I don't do specific things in my day over, over a consistent basis, my mind becomes very active. And I think it's, it's like a type A personality trait where we're very driven to achieve things, to we're future orientated, we're working towards something and we're often, you know, projecting ourselves into the future. So for me, my, my practice is, is basically like pulling the reins back, like pulling me back into the moment to calm the fucking mind down, mate. Because it runs wild when I let it. You know, you got to put a leash on it, man. And the practices that work are meditation. You know, they, it is habits that you implement your day that are reminders to be in the moment, to slow down the mind chatter. And if people, and I can guarantee it, people have anxiety, they probably don't have a consistent meditation practice. They probably don't sleep very good at night, they probably eat bad foods. You know, they're probably, you know, they're not doing things that are going to contribute to a quiet, still mind. So, you know, I think you can, you could read as many books as you want about how, you know, you know, the mind, you know, detaching from thoughts and all this. But unless you implement practices, your mind's going to be too active for you to kind of experience what it's like to be in the moment. So like, yeah, I think, I think, yeah. Have you, have you ever. Because I know you're, you're a little bit, I believe you're a little bit different in terms of the personality trait. I don't think your mind is as active as mine and you don't necessarily need to incorporate routines in your day. But you know, how do you have anything that you kind of. Have you ever noticed times and your minds became very active and you're like, shit, I need to. I need to just, you know, pull it back here. I'm getting a bit too overwhelmed. Has that ever happened to you?

Yeah, I think. I think. I think you might be right there that I don't. I definitely don't think as much, but I think that was. That was driven from those realizations I had about insignificance because I realized that life's just a big game, man. Yeah, I don't take anything too seriously, but I think I still get caught up for sure. I mean, living in the Western world, man, I start to earn a living. I've chosen to play this game. I'm not a nomad. I haven't gone to live somewhere in the foothills of Southeast Asia. So I still have. I've chosen to play. So therefore I'm a subject to the sufferings of everyone else. And I think, yeah, I think you're right, that it's the practice, it's just the daily practice to calm down the thoughts. I find most of mine's. Most of mine's around one work because it's external pressure that you then have to deal with, which I think there are ways of dealing with it. And then also personal identity I think is another one. Like that's the social media stuff that you talk about. I mean, everyone still suffers with. That is because we're trying to retrace this identity that we've been creating for the last 24 years and take a larger look back and say, who am I really? Am I just a collection of experiences over the past 24 years or might something deeper than that? And I think meditation is. Yeah, I think it's a massive key. I think where a lot of people who are anxious struggle is when they one, they've realized the problem. They've realized that their thoughts are rampant and they have the desire to calm them down. That's not the issue. It's when they try to do it. They try to meditate, they try to relax, they try breathing methods. I think I've spoken about this before. It's then when they try and they can't do it because their thoughts are so wild and they're thinking so much. When they try and calm it down, obviously it doesn't stop straight away. That would never happen. But then as soon as it doesn't happen, as soon as that meditation isn't going the way they want it to. The ego. The judge comes back in again and just like it judges in day to day life saying you're not good enough for this. You need to be better. This person doesn't like you. This is why that same judge comes in when they try and meditate. They'll try and meditate, they'll close their eyes, they'll breathe, they'll put music on and then all of a sudden they find their mind still going at exactly the same rate it was before. So they go, oh, you're not good at meditation. You don't know what you're doing. This is stupid. Why am I doing this? So the same judge comes in. So then it puts them off and they don't do it anymore because they assume it's not working. I've gone through this with a few, I think a few of my friends that have struggled with self judgment and it's the same source man, it's the same ego. What we've said before is that meditation isn't going to switch off your thoughts automatically. You're right. It's about a routine. If not a daily practice or weekly practice whenever you can fit it in because each time you'll get better and better. But it's just noticing that within meditation and I think this is the issue if you're of a future, a very goal orientated person to then the goal of meditation is to stop thoughts is to relax. Whereas the goal of meditation is just to be if the thoughts arise, the thoughts arise. That's fine. You accept the thought as it comes in and then you let it go. There's a nice saying that when you meditate, thoughts are like clouds passing through the sky. You just watch a cloud go by from right to left and out of your mind. You don't try and get rid of the cloud prematurely. You don't try and make it move quicker than it has to. It just goes at its own pace. And you watch it as it goes and you don't judge it. And as you go and go and go and the more you just accept the thought as it is and let it go, less clouds will come and less thoughts will come the more you do that rather than self judging. So I think over time that's what you'll find if you practice that the thoughts will slowly subside because you're not resisting them. It's like you're a kid and someone says tells you not to do something. It's like that. It's like as you resist it, the harder it becomes the more thoughts you get, like, don't press the big. It's like, don't press the big red button. You want to start pressing it so you're resisting it. The more feeling you have to do. And that's what the thoughts. The more thoughts, the more they come. They're like, hey, I'm still here. Like, I'm still annoying you. So you accept the thought as it is. Like, you know, it's like the bully, you know, you accept. You accept what the bully's doing, eventually they get bored and go away.

It's so true. Such a good analogy. Because, yeah, the labeling of thoughts, you know, people, that's a good thought. That's a bad thought. At the end of the day, it's just a thought, you know. And when meditating, I practice that. I, like, just look at it as just a neutral thought that comes and goes. Like you said, like a cloud passing. Such a good analogy. Because that's what I've noticed with people who struggle is they label thoughts as, like, bad. It's like, I shouldn't be having this thought. And then bang, you've got the resistance there automatically. You know, the fact is you had the thought and you need to accept that it's happened. And that's when you remove resistance and the process unravels. Because over time, like you said, mindfulness is allowing thoughts, being aware of the thoughts, but then allowing them to be there. Eventually they just. They quiet. And that's my. That's what I've noticed in my practice. I don't. I don't do anything complicated when I meditate. It's just literally sit and practice watching the thoughts come. And the first 15 minutes is usually right. Like the mind's racing. It's just like, you should imagine the thoughts that I have, man. Just like these random thoughts. It's like, what the fuck is going on up there? But it just. It quietens, man. Some days it takes 40 minutes, some days it might be 10 minutes. But, you know, if you practice being the watcher and not resisting, I guarantee there is a silent space behind the mind that when you access it, it's like, it's so peaceful. It's just stillness that's there and that carries with you throughout the whole day. And that's one of the things that has really helped me deal with, you know, anxiety and having a racing mind is just meditating in the morning. And I carry the benefits throughout the whole day. And I notice it. I know, I know when I've meditated because there's an extra bit of space there where instead of reacting, you know, to situations and events, I have the space to kind of step back and be like, okay, that's. I need to accept that situation because it's already happened instead of creating a story around it in my head. Yeah, because I'll tell you a little story about, you know, why I started meditating. And it goes back to. I may have told you this before, but had a. One of my final exams when I was at university for my finance course and I had studied, literally, I studied so much for this exam. I was up at 5 in the morning at the library all day studying and the exam was in the evening. So I'd woken up that morning, studied all morning and got to the time of the exam at like 5pm or something. And I'd gone into the exam and all I needed to pass the course was like a. I just needed to pass the exam. I think I can't remember what I needed, but it wasn't much. Began the exam. I'd studied enough for it. I was well prepared. But because my mind was so full of just information from the day, you know, I hadn't meditated, I hadn't done anything. I got into the exam and the mind just started racing like I didn't know one of the questions. And I created this story about shit, I don't know this question, what if I fail? You know, what if I lose my job? Like, what if I have to repeat the unit? What? You know, all this story that started because I literally was just overloaded with, with mental thoughts around one, one little thing that just spiraled out of control. I remember in the exam I was like, I'm done. Like, I can't, I can't just my mind, I can't control my mind. It's finished. I couldn't answer any of the questions. I was pretty much useless in the exam. So I was like, I put my pen down and I literally had like. It was like a panic attack, a low level panic attack in an exam. And I remember leaving. I was absolutely devastated. I was like, okay, I can't believe what's just happened. I probably failed. You know, I was like, this can't be. This can't be. You know, this can't happen ever again. I can't ever let my mind just take control of me like that. I can't. You know, there has to be a better way. And you know, that's when I started like researching into meditation. I was like, I got to figure out A way to tame the mind. Because if you don't, it will, it will take control if you let it. And it will, you know, fuck your life up in many ways. So for people who have experienced panic attacks or anxiety attacks similar to that, some, some people have them a lot worse. Some people have a social anxiety. I can't imagine how bad that would be. But all I can say is meditation is definitely, definitely the, the number one tool for slowing down the thoughts and just like quietening the mind. So yeah, that's, that's my tip for.

People, I think once you get to a certain point as well. So I can't say that, I can't say that I take out half an hour each day. I try to do, I try to meditate at night before I go to bed, just to calm the, calm the mind before I go to bed. Yeah, just helps me sleep. But I think once you get to a certain point, like I was mentioning before, that practice of non judgment when you meditate, you can, you can take that and apply it to day to day life because that then becomes an ongoing meditation where you don't judge anything that happens day to day life. I think judgments are massive, a massive thing. Judge. The judge is the ego, right? Technically, everything in this universe is neutral. It's like, it's like Shakespeare says. Yeah, there is no, no, there is no good nor bad, but the mind makes it so. And inherently everything in the universe is neutral. And then the mind labels like you say, so bringing that awareness to day to day life, saying there is no good or bad. Everything that happens today is just happening the way it is and exactly the way it should be. There is no need to judge. The only thing that I have control of is my own actions. And that's all that I will try and control today. I think if you can. You've spoken before about mantras. I think Deepak has taken one from a course in miracles and says, today I shall not judge anything that occurs. Which I used to use in the mornings before I go to work, while I was in the car on the way to work, used to repeat it to myself that I shall not judge anything that occurs. And throughout the day I find that when that voice comes in saying, this is bad, this shouldn't be happening, I'd catch myself because the mantra comes in automatically, just says, do not judge anything that occurs. And then all of a sudden I can just pause. My reactivity stops for a second. I can go that this is okay, this is happening just the way it should be. And I'm not going to think about what future effect it has on me. I'm going to think about what I can do right now to make it better. I think I've told you that, I've told you that saying before, man. I reckon this saying that probably changed my life. The story of the man in the woods, the two friends in the woods with the arrow.

Oh yeah, that's a great one.

Exactly the same. Two friends walking through the woods. One gets shot by an arrow. The first thing that comes to the other friend's mind, if he was an anxious person, would be, where did that arrow come from? Who shot it? Why did they shoot my friend? What's the arrow made out of? How are we going to catch them? They're all future thoughts. Whereas the only thought that really helps the situation is what is the best way to get this arrow out? How quickly can you take away the pain that's happening right now rather than thinking about, about how I can take away future pain or get back or react to the situation. And it can be applied in day to day life by using a mantra or by just becoming aware quickly when you react to something and just thinking it's okay just the way it is. The only thing I can do and the only time I can act is right now. So what can I do to improve the situation? And I find, you'll see, man, most people, we've experienced it, when you go through day to day life and something doesn't quite go the way you wanted it to or expected it to, you instantly react and you find that most people go through their lives in that space reacting to things that happen constantly.

No, agreed, man. I, I just think, yeah, like, you know, that what you just described is, is living. You know, I think living that philosophy is key. I think to start with, you know, obviously this is all new to people. If people are just looking for a solution to anxiety and this is all new to them, you know, I would say start with meditation and then hopefully as they, you know, learn more or listen to more of these podcasts, they'll begin to understand the mechanics of the mind and how it will get, it will get in the way of your normal day to day actions by reacting to things. But if you keep reminding yourself through mantras or little pointers or just increased awareness in your day, you can live in that space of becoming less emotionally reactive. And that's the key. That's really the key. Most of the time now I can actually tell when someone's reactive because they're very quick to respond to things, you know what I mean? Like something will happen or they'll jump and they'll respond very quickly because that's what happens to me when I don't meditate. But when I meditate and I, and I become aware and I practice being self aware, you don't, you don't react, you don't react to, you know, events or people or situations as quickly or you're able to kind of choose the appropriate response without, you know, creating a mental story that can often lead to, you know, thoughts about future and create, you know, this, this negative scenario in your head. So yeah, I think that's great. Like, yeah, mantra is like that's, that's, that's a really good one. Like repeating a little affirmation in the morning or something after you have met your meditation practice and meditating before bed. Like that's, that's it. That's a good one. Because most people who suffer anxiety do struggle to sleep. And then it becomes a compounding effect. You know, poor night's sleep results in a wake up where you don't feel rested and the mind is often become. You can't control your mind when you don't, you haven't had, you don't have the energy to. So yeah, meditation before bed, that's key. And then what you do before bed decides a lot about how you wake up and you know, a very good evening routine that involves calming the body and mind. You know, no social media before bed, no TV before bed, you know, nothing that's gonna keep the mind active at night. You know, that's fundamental. That should be. Yeah, you know, that's. If you're trying to get rid of anxiety, that should be, you know, that's where you start. Remove the external distractions. So before we wrap up today, man, like, you know, you've given mantras as a really good way. Like we've spoke about meditation. Maybe. Any tips for people who are in an anxious moment or what are some ways that they can kind of better bring themselves back to the present moment? Like what are some tips you can give people?

Yeah, it's a tough one. I think from my experience dealing with people with anxiety, I think breathing, man, I think it's a cliche meditation, but I think it's that for a reason it works, man. If you can just center your breathing and focus on the in and out, focus on the air going through your nose, focus on the lungs expanding and compressing. That's all happening in this moment. You're Never breathing in the future. You're always breathing right now. So I think that for me is always the best way. Apart from that we've touched before on senses. I think for me, breathing in the sense. I actually prefer the senses, to be honest, because, I don't know, I love using them. I love feeling things because same thing you're never feeling in the future, you're always feeling right now. Your senses are always active in the moment. And it's a portal. And it's a portal to the moment. Anything that brings you into the now will automatically cease anxiety, because anxiety is based on fear and fearful thoughts can only exist in the future. Those, those, those for me, man, they're my two best things, I think, to get you out of that. That mindset, hopefully quickly.

Yeah, I love it. You know, good advice there. You know, obviously when people are stressed, the breathing becomes shallow, so instant, instant, you know, indicator of tenseness and resistance. Shallow breathing.

The body. Yeah, the body's. The body's the best indicator.

That's so true. Body restricts energy flow is restricted. Yeah, yeah, no, good, Good points, man. I hope people can take something away from that. And yeah, hopefully, you know, anxiety can be something we can reduce for people going forward because it is, you know, it is a growing problem. Mate, I appreciate it so much. Very good to chat with you again, as always. We will.

Hey, buddy.

Look forward to speaking again soon.

All right, mate. Yeah, nice chatting to you. Have a good night.

Cheers, mate. Bye bye. Yeah, there we have it, guys. Another episode of the State Shifters podcast. Really appreciate you tuning in and listening. It really means a lot to hear that people are getting value from this information. If you've resonated with this in any sort of way, please leave a rating or review on itunes. That would mean absolute world to us. We look forward to chatting again soon.