SSP 009: Finding Purpose, Making Big Decisions And Dealing With Judgement

Stage Shifters Podcast Episode 9 welcome to the State Shifters Podcast. We're back. Episode 9, Stage Shifters Podcast. This is Jordan, and glad to have you back with me. I'm really excited about today's episode and it's going to be a bit of a Q and A style. We decided to change it up a little bit this time around because it'd been a few weeks since our last chat, and Josh and I, we've kind of. We'd gone through a lot of things in, I guess, in our. In our own lives that we wanted to share and discuss and maybe perhaps get each other's opinion on certain situations that we were going through and turned into a bit of a therapy session. To be honest, I kind of got a lot of the questions that I asked Josh, and I feel this style of podcast is going to be something maybe we're going to pursue further. And I hope you guys get a lot out of it as well, which I'm sure you will. The early part of the discussion really focuses around finding passion and purpose in a career and how to know if you're on the right path or what to do if you're struggling to find a connection with your purpose or you don't know what your passions are. And I shed some light on the experience that I went through when I transitioned out of a job and began my search to find a purpose and connect with my passions. So there's a few other questions and answers that we run through towards the end of the podcast. So stay tuned right to the end. You can get a lot out of this one. Enjoy the episode, guys. Josh, how are you, mate? Welcome back. State Shifters Podcast. We're here for another episode. How's things?

Yeah, good, thanks, Jordy. Good to. Good to chat to you again, mate. It's been a while.

It has been a while.

Yeah. A lot to catch up on, I think.

I know, mate. I know. I've had a few trips. I've had a few holidays. Weather's getting warm in Canada. What updates can you give me from your end, your side of the world, mate?

I haven't been. I haven't been traveling as much as you, unfortunately. I've been having a bit of a staycation, just working, working and. Yeah, I don't know, trying to. Trying to stay healthy pretty much. It's been good. Getting a bit colder over here now as well.

Yeah, it's. It's funny. The day has finally come, man. Honestly, today it's absolutely beautiful outside and I've been walking around in shorts and a T shirt. So I've been here nine months and this is the first time that I've. I've done the shorts. So it's, it's. Yeah, it's quite nice. There's such a big shift in the energy of Toronto when, when the weather gets warmer, man, everyone's out outside in the patios.

It's good.

Yeah, it's good to see. It's good to see.

I went to, went to Bondi on yesterday, Friday morning before work for a bit of a sunrise swim and it was, it was pretty bloody chilly in the water, I tell you.

Yeah, mate, you know how I like the cold.

The ice baths.

The ice baths, yeah. That's a great way to freshen up, isn't it? Anyways, mate, you know, we've had a little chat before we jumped on the line on the call today. We're kind of gonna direct today's podcast about maybe around a bit of a Q and A where both of us can kind of discuss some of the things that we've realized since our last chat. Any areas of discussion that's kind of come up in our own lives that we can maybe perhaps ask each other some questions on how to approach situations or scenarios in our life that maybe we feel like have been challenging. And I know for me there's been a few things that have come up that I've made note of and I'm eager to get your opinion on them. So from your perspective, maybe do you. Have you had anything come up in your life that you'd like to. That you feel like you've learned a lot from or you want to discuss or share since our last call?

Yeah, I think the one thing I wanted more to get your opinion on, because that's something I think what I've been working in lately, people that don't know working in E commerce, so web development and that space, not as much of a corporate job, but still, you know, the 9 to 5 driving business for companies, it's still like, it's still a pressurized environment and there's a lot of, you know, there's a lot of external pressure. I deal with clients so always, always trying to deliver on what they, on what they want. So I think lately I've just been questioning for me purpose what I really want to do. And obviously seeing you take the. Take the leap over to Canada to, to work on, on your passion is inspiring to me to be able to try and do something similar. So I think for me at the moment it's been trying to figure out what I actually want to do to be able to align my work with what I want to achieve personally. So a few little. Might try and get a few little tidbits of advice from you on that.

Yeah, I love it, mate.

I mean, what about you? What have you brought to the.

Yeah, I've got a few things noted down. I guess we could address the purpose, that purpose question straight away just because it's fresh on my mind now. I had a few things come to me as you were speaking and all I can speak about, I guess then because I'm eager now to find out what the thoughts are going on in your head with your direction because we both ended up moving from our hometown. Man, do you find that interesting? We're both in away from our hometown, so I guess something's pulled us in the directions that we've taken. So are you planning on staying in Sydney? Have you had thoughts around your career path or.

Yeah, well, I mean when I. When I first came here I was in that other. I was in another job even. Even more pressurized, I think, than the one I'm in now. And when I first started looking for other jobs, my main criteria was one where I can help people because that's my. I think we've spoken before about mantras or affirmations. I think it's important when you're dealing with purpose. I wrote down four things. I wrote four on what makes me happy and then I wrote four things on what I want with like what I want for my life. And I think for me I'm trying to align those two lists so that what I want and what make me happy can work simultaneously. And on that list I had, I had being able to help people escape from like self imposed suffering that they have, which is partially while I'm doing this and trying to offer any advice that I've experienced through my life and I'd love to be able to align that with the work that I do so that I can try and help people in as many ways as possible. So I think it's just a shift from being in a job where I need it to be able to survive in this environment and just waiting for the time when it's right to shift from that into something where I can help people. So that's my main motivation, I think at this point.

Beautiful man. I mean I got no doubt that for you that that's always going to unfold naturally. I feel for me it was a little bit more. I took a path that I kind of realized after Starting my job because my, my previous job was in accounting and I studied for four years, took this, this path that I think initially I chose out of. It was more of a fear mindset where I just, I just wanted to make money. I wanted to have a job where I was going to have security and have enough money to do the things that I wanted. I never really did what you did, which was ask what makes me happy and what impact do I want to have and how do I want to help people? So I kind of did that, did those exercises kind of after I finished my degree and after I started working in a full time job that I soon realized didn't align with my passions and really I didn't have any purpose in my work. So for me it was more about first trying to identify what my passions were. And I, I believe you sort of have already, you know, what you're passionate about. And that's kind of like you said, helping people break free from self imposed suffering and you know, is you sort of got clear on what your passions were. Was that something you've already done?

I think so. Because then after that, after that I kind of, I don't know. My, my parents have always been of the. The opinion that happiness is a choice. The job isn't the problem, it's the mindset about the job that can be the problem. So after the decision had been made, I had to accept the job I was in or change it. At this point in time, I didn't need to change it. So I accepted the work I was in and then tried to find a way in which I could reach that goal within the job I'm in anyway. So what I found myself doing is bringing happiness or trying to, trying to bring happiness to the people that I work with to make that a more cohesive and harmonious environment to which I hope I've succeeded. But I think that's what I've done in my previous work roles is just try to rub off any, I don't know, any happiness to the people working around me. Because I think that, yeah, that's, that's the change that I've tried to make in like the, in the situation that I was in before managing to make that leap into an actual job where the job involves helping people in and of itself.

Yeah, I mean, I think the first thing that I, because you were the one who gifted me Eckhart Tolle's book A New Earth. And when I first read that book that really just opened up all these new ways of thinking that really had all the solutions to all the problems that I had inside my own head. And Eckhart, one of the key things that stood out from that book was the section on purpose and secondary purpose, primary purpose and secondary purpose. And like you said, in your situation, you kind of chose to accept what your job was and bring peace, happiness and presence into the situation and into your work environment, which is such a beautiful thing to do. And then I realized that during my time at my previous job last year, and that was when I cultivated my primary purpose, which stemmed from Eckhart's book. And the primary purpose is here and now is to be present, is to be present in life. That's everyone's purpose. First of all, is. Is to be present to. When you're in a situation like any work situation, is to be there, be the. Be the presence in any environment, in any social encounters. I think you are, you. You live that. You live that well before I did. So I think then cultivating the secondary purpose, which is the actual what we do for work or where we choose to invest our time. For me, it came from first finding my primary purpose, which is to find presence, find stillness through meditation, through mindfulness. And from that I found courage to then get clear on what my. What my passions were and then, then take, Take that leap of faith of pursuing that, pursuing those, pursuing the. The urge that my heart was pulling me towards a direction. Whereas before I cultivated stillness and presence, I didn't have the courage because my mind kept me trapped in the environment through thinking such as, what if I don't find a job in this area? What if I don't make enough money? What if people, you know, I'm not going to look like I'm successful because, you know, I'm gonna have to go back to minimum wage and I don't have that title of I'm an accountant, I have a degree, I work for Deloitte. So it was like there were the things that kept me trapped in my situation. And it wasn't until presence and stillness entered my life through my primary purpose, then I then found the courage to act on the heart. The heart, intuition, those emotions that were true to who I was. So I guess, I guess for anyone who's maybe in a similar situation to what I was back home, where I didn't know what my purpose was, I didn't know what my passions were, but I knew my situation that I was in wasn't, would be to bring presence and stillness or consciousness or awareness into your life and do what you're doing, which is bring that into your job now.

Yeah.

So then I guess then how. How would you. So that I. I acted. I've found my secondary purpose through my passions, which has been health and wellness and, you know, acted on them through that. How do you think people. When do you think that courage is cultivated to then act like, I know you. You. I guess the courage is. You probably already have the courage. You're just waiting to decide what. What direction you want to take. But what if someone is just the idea of them leaving their job right now is just unfathomable. When do you think the time is right? How do you know?

Yeah, I think it depends on if you've. Yeah. Like what you said is if you. Have you already accepted your primary purpose? Have you already accepted the job you're in? Because there's going to be two different reasons for leaving. If you've done that already, it's going to be by choice. If you haven't accepted and you're in a job that you're resisting and you don't want to be there, you wake up and you dread going in, then it's going to be a matter of time before you snap, basically, or they call you burn out, or you've just simply had enough and you have to leave. Yeah. So it goes from being. Goes from being I want to leave to I need to leave because it's having such a detrimental effect on my. On my personal life. So I think all costs, you want to avoid it. Getting to that last. That last stage where you just, you've. You've succumbed to the pressure of work so much that you just basically break down, which I think can happen. Which is. Which is interesting that you can succumb to such external pressure. And I suppose it's just the importance people put on work and their job for whatever reasons, even if they don't like it. But I think if you can accept the job that you're in, like you said, remove the resistance for a second. And I think part of that comes with realizing that it's not that important, that working is just a part of this life that we've created. But in the grand scheme of things, it's not that important. Like, it's not the most important thing in your life. From that, you can then accept, okay, I'm just gonna. I'm gonna do what needs to be done. I'm not going to stress or think about it more than I have to. And then you can have the clarity and you're not drained all the time. You don't use all your energy focusing on work. You have the clarity to think, what do I actually want? Is this job achieving it? Maybe, maybe not. You can bring a bit of realism into it saying, do I have enough money right now to be able to be able to do that? Do I have that freedom? And then you can make it like a logical decision. I think like you said, the only thing that stops you is fear based. It's all those thoughts that the mind makes up saying, I can't survive, I can't survive eight weeks of unemployment. Like I'll go broke, I won't be able to pay things. What if I don't get another job? I'm not skilled enough for these positions. Like all those, all the justifications come in as reasons not to leave because it's a safer environment. But I think if you weigh up, if you weigh up, is that worse than going through a position that's causing me detriment every day? And part of it is just having, I suppose, faith in, if you believe in, if you believe in that you can basically manifest whatever you want, which is obviously a tough thought to have, then there's no fear necessary that the universe can basically provide you with whatever you need when you need it. I think that's the toughest thing, man, is having that, having that, having that faith in like, in the unknown, basically. That's a tough step, which I think, yeah, it's difficult. Difficult what you did, for sure.

Yeah, agreed. I think the area that came out for me while you were chatting was the clarity, was finding the clarity to maybe figure out what direction you want to take. And when you find clarity, I think that's when you can really start to tune into your inner voice or your intuition or tune into your heart and then you can start, yeah, like you said, you can start to ask, well, like if this isn't what I want, what is, what do I want to do? Because although work isn't really that important, we still spend a lot of majority of our time at work. So it would make sense to do something that makes you feel good. You're doing something that you're excited to do every single day. And I think that, that people seem to think that luxury, that that's a luxury or that's, that's only available to a select few or only available to the lucky. I think, I think that's rubbish, man. I think everyone, that it should be a right to everyone, everyone has the right to go to work happy and love what they do. And if you're not doing that, I think you're cutting yourself short. And I truly believe that because now that I've experienced both ends of it, you know, and the work that I do now, it's, it's not worth, it's honestly not work. I get up and get to go and be around like minded people. I get to help people. I get to do the things that I would be doing in my spare time. I get to do the things that I did in my spare time at my previous job. So I'd finished my, my job early so I could go home and work on the things that I now do full time. And it's, it's amazing. It's amazing to compare and contrast the two different. Yeah, the two different pathways to living. And I think I want everyone to kind of set that, set that bar high. Is like you, I should be excited to go to work every day. I should get to have a purpose that is aligned with my passion. And it comes from clarity. It comes from asking, what would I do if money wasn't a factor? What would I do if I won the lotto tomorrow? What are my unique strengths that I can then use to help others?

Yeah, I think that's an important point. I think is. I think it was, I can't remember who said it. I think it might have been the Dalai Lama actually said, what can I do? The only question we should ask ourselves is what can I do to help others? Right now I think that's, for me, that's the underlying idea of purpose, is how can I help? How can I help others around me? And if I'm not in a position where I can do that right now, how can I get to a position in which I can help others? Because that's the only way this, that's the only way this world's gonna be peaceful is really if we can cultivate the primary purpose of everyone to help others and not themselves. Yeah.

Yeah, you're dead right, man. I think primary purpose is, is number one. And we all share that. We all share that. So I think that as a foundation then sets us up for finding our uniqueness. Everyone has a unique. Everyone is a unique being with a unique purpose that when we then connect to our source, which is we are all connected, we then get to express our uniqueness, which I think is quite amazing, which is why creativity is so highly valued in society today because it's so unique to the individual, but it comes from the source. You must connect with your source before you can, before it can flow through you and in a creative outlet. So that's. Yeah, yeah, well said. And then you can then help others through that, through your. Through your unique expression.

Yeah, mate.

Yeah, man. I think this topic, I guess this area that we've been discussing ties in nicely to one of the questions I had prepared for you. So in my kind of situation at the moment I've been living, I haven't had really my own living environment. I've been sharing a house with lots of other people. My girlfriend's family, you know, there's. There's lots of there. She has lots of siblings living there as well. Some. I'm living with teenagers. It's like.

It's.

It's quite a hectic environment at times. But I'm learning so much from this. And I think there was a stage where I was kind of forcing force. I was looking to the next stage in terms of moving out and finding my own place. I was. Had one eye in the future and I think I was missing out on lots of opportunity to learn in the present from this present situation that I was in. So I guess my question is how do you know when the time's right to move on or transition into another phase in life? And I guess it ties in with the question around work and career. How do you know when it's. When you've learned all you can, when you've grown as a person through the situation that you're now in, how. And you then decide to take that leap or transition into a new phase. Have you had any situations or experiences with that? And if so, what advice would you give anyone who may be in a similar situation?

Yeah, that's a good question. I think what you're touching on there is obviously resistance to the current moment. Yeah. Being in a situation, I think, I suppose, yeah, it goes back to exactly what we're talking about. The same thing but in your personal life is having something that's currently happening and not wanting it to happen and looking for a future moment and saying, that will be better once I'm there. Like, once I'm there, everything will be better. Which I think happens to everyone, like, on it probably on a daily basis. You know, once I get. Once I win the lotto, things will be better once I get that promotion. Things will be better once I get. Once I get that new car for me. I think I've definitely, definitely been in those situations before. So even things like with. With. Even with my last job thinking, oh, this. This job, like, this job sucks, like, it's just high pressure. I don't want to be here. So you're continually looking for the next thing that's going to make you happier. I think for me, I focus a lot on non action, which is, I think an interesting thought and something that's probably tough to get around because it kind of seems non action can be taken as doing. As doing nothing. And doing nothing has always been seen as bad. But I think when I've been in those situations in the past, just taking yourself back to be the observer of the situation rather than being in the situation itself. Because when you're in the situation, it's like you're in. It's like you're in white water rapids. Everything's pushing you. You're being shoved around in all different directions by the emotions of the people around you. You're reactive to everything that's happening. You're constantly fighting the pull and the push of the water. So when you can take yourself out of that and you can just look down at the rapids moving, suddenly it's peaceful and there's no more. No one's pushing you around, no one's. You're not reacting to anything. You're just watching it unfold and happen as everything occurs. And I think in those situations you have basically two choices or three choices. You either change the situation. If you can't change it, which is what you're in right now, you have to accept it, or third, you can resist it and resistance just brings suffering. So for me there's only one logical answer, which is to accept it. Now I think if you reassess that, reassess that whenever you can, eventually there'll become a point where you can change it and that's when action can occur. But until that point, acceptance is the only peaceful option. But within acceptance you can also look for, as you said, paths to grow and paths to practice mindfulness. And that is the practice. The practice is in accepting the moment, always accepting the current moment. If it can't be changed, then the practice is accepting. So meeting someone that you, I think we've all experienced meeting someone, meeting a friend of a friend or meeting a new co worker or someone that you just don't get along with. Like you meet someone, you go, oh God, this person's just annoying, or they, they're too loud or they, you know something, you pick up something you don't like about them. I think if you can cultivate the mind mentality that you can learn something from everyone, that every person has been brought into your life For a reason that every situation has cultivated itself based on everything that's previously happened. So therefore it's meant to be happening and you can practice acceptance of it, then it's only going to make your life more peaceful and less hectic. So I think for me it's just, it's about bringing the practice of acceptance into day to day life and watching, watching it as the observer, as the non judgmental observer, waiting for the time where change is possible and then you can take the action that you want to take.

Such a beautiful answer, man. I think if anyone's listening, they could apply that approach to any situation in life that they aren't happy with. Accept change or resist. It's pretty simple. But for me I overlooked it. And it's so easy to do, you know, get stuck in the resistance. And like you said, you know, if change can't be made, you can either accept it or resist. And one is a lot easier than the other one's gonna bring. You're gonna help you learn lessons, the other is gonna keep you trapped in a negative mindset and trapped you, trap you in negative emotions. Restrict the flow of life, essentially. Yeah, yeah, good answer.

I think we spoke about how, how you can tell when you're resisting as well. Because I think we were talking about like for me it's the physical. I can always tell I'm resisting when the physical starts to occur. Like I get a tenseness in my chest, I start breathing shorter and I can actually feel that I'm resisting the current moment. So I think picking up on when you're resisting and then taking a time to just pause and say, why am I resisting? What's the source? And then trying to accept the source for whatever it is in the understanding that it's happening because it's happening and it couldn't happen any other way.

Yeah, just having the self awareness really, you know, I think not enough people check in and ask, how am I feeling in this moment? Am I resisting? And you know, your emotional state is always telling you, you know, if you, if you feel like you said, constriction restriction in your body or any, anything, any emotion that is not, you know, positive. I would say if you're in a negative emotional state, that's often a sign that you're resisting the present moment. So yeah, self awareness is key to knowing. Great answer, man. Thanks for sharing that.

It's all good.

Yeah. Did you have any other, any questions that you wanted to bring up?

That was my, to be fair, that was my main one. I Think for me at the moment, for me at the moment work is consuming a large portion of my life. So that's the main, they're the main questions that I have are around, around am I doing what I want to be doing? If not, where do I want to go and then when's the, when's the right time to make that change? But I think, yeah, I think right now, as you said, I'm, I'm choosing not to change it. So therefore I'm just going to accept it for what it is right now and reassess at a point when I am in a better position to change. And I think the opportunity is going to present itself to me whenever it decides to. So I'm just going to sit and wait patiently.

I know it will mate.

What about you? Any other, any, anything else you wanted to raise?

Yeah, for me I've noticed recently in some social settings when I'm around some of my, some friends or some, some friends of friends and I've been in social environments where I'm kind of forced to I guess engage or be around conversations that are taking on more of an mind based, ego based activity which for me it was coming in the form of like gossiping or talking about others or talking down on others or. And I found myself judging these people for this type of, this type of behavior. And I guess my question for you is like how do you deal with judgment? I guess the fact that I was noticing the judgment was one thing, but I didn't notice it at the time and it was actually affecting my energy. And I guess it goes back to, you know, the, I guess the four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The first agreement is being true to your word. And you know, here we talk a lot about presence and not engaging in ego and non judgment. And it was my ego that was judging. Judgment comes from ego. So I was actually, my mind was doing what they were doing, my ego was judging them which was at the same level of energy that they're gossiping and talking down on others. So I guess in those situations, have you ever had, would you have advice for not judging others? And if so, how do you approach these situations where you're stuck in a situation where people are not necessarily engaging in activities that you would condone? Do you try and direct them down a non judgmental path? Do you direct them down a non gossiping conversation? Do you bring awareness for them into the gossiping that they might be doing or any words of advice there?

Yeah, I think it's the situation, I think A lot of people find themselves in. For me, I think the most important thing is to not try to change what they're doing because trying to change someone's. Trying to change someone's action or opinion in that moment is still an ego based activity. Because what it's trying to say is I know what to do better than what you know what to do. So what I want to do is more superior or a better way of thinking or a better way of acting than what you're doing right now. And that in itself is inherently ego based. So I find the only, the only action to take is one of, is one of neutrality as to say is similar to what I was talking about before is just becoming the observer. Social situations for me, I find them fascinating because everyone's unique, everyone's different, everyone acts differently, whether they're genuine, whether they wear a mask, whether they try to be someone that they perhaps aren't. Everyone's unique in social situations I think it's beautifully unique. Even if it doesn't correlate well with the way that you perceive they should be acting or doesn't fit in with your mentality. I think even on the basic level you get people who, it just sparks arguments. For example, someone who's, someone who's. I used to work with someone who was vegan and who couldn't be around conversations about meat like at all couldn't be around conversations about, about farming or, and, and that was like. So her choice was, her choice was one. It either goes into an argument where, where they try and convince you that what you're talking about isn't correct and the, that it's a bad mentality to have. The third choice is you can remove yourself from the situation if you don't want to waste your energy on trying to convince someone that your way of thinking is better than theirs. Or the third way is just to accept everyone's opinion and everyone's way of socializing as it is and just observe it because everyone is beautifully unique in what they do. So for me, I think when I'm in that situation I just try once again bring acceptance to whatever they're talking about. You don't have to engage, you don't have to join in. I think that's still staying true to your mentality or your belief is that I don't want to speak down upon anyone. You don't have to engage in gossip, but you can, you can sit there, sit there quietly and just, just nod along like you don't, you don't have to engage in it.

Yeah, I guess that's what I found difficult though. Like, you know, I chose to disengage but then I noticed the, the judgment that came up and then it affected. Yeah. My energy, like I said. But like if I can see that these people are wasting their energy through engaging in ego based activities, it would you. Is there any techniques or ways you can kind of get, get into the conversation? Even though it might not have anything to do with, I have no idea what, who they're gossiping about? Can you go in there and try and I don't know, shine a light of a way, bring some awareness into the conversation? It doesn't have to be preachy, but it could be, you know, saying, oh, I've been practicing talking only speaking kindness about others, maybe then directing the conversation into a topic of kindness instead of judgment. Is, is there a way to kind of then get, is there a way to get involved in the conversation? I think is what I'm trying to say without just completely disengaging or just sitting there in silent presence?

Yeah, that's a good question. I don't know. I suppose that's up to you, man. If you wanted to, if you wanted to be like, I don't know, why are we, why are we, why are we talking down upon this person if you don't know them? It makes it a bit harder I think because it's like, yeah, it's like their decision is to talk about that person in that way. Like that's, that's the decision they've made. I think for me, when I'm in those situations, I try not to be like, you know, what would, why are we doing this? This isn't the right thing to be doing. Let's not talk about this anymore. And I suppose it also depends how long it's going on for because I wouldn't want to be around that for hours. But, but yeah, I think it's up to you whether or not you want to, whether or not you want to raise it with them or not. For me, I prefer just to be. Yeah. To not involve myself at all. And I suppose there are techniques to divert the conversation. But yeah, it, it, I suppose it really depends on the situation, man. Yeah, that's a, that's a tough one for me. For me, I think it's just if the most important thing is to not, is to not convince them that what they're talking about is incorrect, even though you don't agree with it, it's so important not to go to the level of saying that you're wrong in what you're doing because that inherently is also ego based. And that's like, that's the basis for, the basis for all arguments is I know what you should do better than you know what you should do. And that was something that I had a massive realization around that in one of my, in my previous relationship when I saw her doing something or acting in a way that I perceived as incorrect and just the thought in my head that how can I possibly know what's right for someone else. I think there's a great analogy that says you should only try to cultivate your own garden. If I choose to grow cabbage and my neighbor chooses to grow corn, who am I to tell them that they should be growing cabbage? It's their choice on what produce they want to cultivate within their own garden and it's my choice on what I want to cultivate. Yet too many of us peer into our neighbors gardens trying to see and trying to convince them to grow another crop. And I think it's so important just to focus on yourself and through that. It's through action that we spread, not through, not through trying to convince and argue about, about what the right thing is to do. Action is always the biggest, is always the biggest speaker for me.

Yes. Thank you, man. That was, that was very. I think you've kind of just helped me have a realization right now, actually.

That was beautiful.

Like, seriously. That was yeah, very well put. Just. Yeah. Ex.

Who.

Yeah, who am I to judge if someone else. How someone is behaving is right or wrong? That's where. That's where they're at on their path. And yeah, the judgment that was happening was just, it was create. Yes. It was my ego coming in and clashing with their ego. So I just. Yeah, the way you described that was perfect. Thank you.

Yeah.

You mentioned off, offline that you had a question or an area about dealing with negativity. I guess.

Yeah.

Do you want to expand on that?

Yeah, I just, I found, I found recently coming into a. To meet with a few people just in my life that have a very downtrodden attitude towards life. And I just, I don't know if I just wanted to kind of say if you've met people that have, you know, whatever happens, it's kind of like they always see the downside. And I don't think it's necessarily depression. It's not someone who's depressed, but it's just someone who has a negative outlook. So something will happen and they'll be. And they like, they recognize that they're happy, but then they also feel bad about the fact that they know that happiness isn't going to last. And then everything that happens around them is just like, ah, well, this could be. This could be better or this could be improved or this isn't. It's not, this isn't that good. I don't know if you've met anyone like that or if you've had conversations with people like that before and just kind of how you interact with them. Because I find it very interesting to interact with people like that because there's almost nothing. I feel like there's almost nothing I can do. I suppose that just is exactly what we were talking about just then. Is not doing anything really the best action there? But I just find them very interesting to deal with. I wasn't sure if you've met anyone similar.

Yeah, for sure. I think I've been in maybe situations where I've hung out with people who are quite negative. Maybe whether it's like, I guess you're stuck with someone on whether you're traveling with people who are negative or work and work situations or I tend to try and avoid people who are too negative. But obviously there are times when, yeah, you're going to be around people who constantly see. Constantly see the glass half empty instead of half full. And I think, yeah, yeah, like, I think, yeah, like you said, like I was saying before, I don't think there's anything we can do, but there's certainly something we can be. And then that's just. For me, it's about gratitude. Like I try the times I catch myself not appreciating what I have is when I find negativity creeps into my life. So I guess that's probably for these people, the negative people, they're not really grateful. They're not showing gratitude and appreciation for the good things that they have. And I don't know, I try and be grateful all the time, especially when I'm, you know, get to travel and hang out with amazing people and do amazing things. Expressing gratitude, I think is. Especially when you're around others. Like I like to express openly how grateful I am for who I'm with or where I am. And I think people pick up on that. It's like an energy that people pick up on when, when, when you, when you show that you're grateful. So I think for me, when I'm around negative people just being grateful for everything and making sure they see that, not faking it I mean, I guess you could fake it as well. Fake it till you make it. But generally be great.

Yeah.

Be grateful. And I think the energy will change from that. Other than that, I guess there's not really much else you can do to help someone who's putting themselves in a negative mindset or there's living out of negative emotions. That's something they're creating. But certainly your own energy can affect others. Your energetic field that you show up with in any environment is going to affect others. So the energy of gratitude, I feel is a very strong field that you put out. That is infectious. So I think, yeah, gratitude is key.

That's a good point. Yeah. I think my other point is gonna be how do you, what do you think that, what do you think the first step is of getting out of that? I think you're right. I think, yeah. I think I've done this before with someone else writing out gratitude list of being like, what, what am I? Because I think it's the focus, it's the focus that needs to shift, isn't it? For someone to be able to see the more positive side of life is to shift their. From what don't I have to. What do I have? And I think, yeah, once they. Once. If you could focus, if you could focus on everything that you have every day, I think you'd be so much happier, dude.

That's why it's so important to, I think, to journal every morning. Journal, just have a gratitude journal. Write down what you're grateful for when you wake up. It's just like the first. You know what I mean? The first thing that comes to mind is instead of looking at what you don't have, you focus on what you do have. So simple. But it's such an effective exercise that yields so much happiness.

Yeah. One practice that mum gave me was actually when I was a bit younger was having a jar and every day having a 365 page notepad. Every day write one thing you're grateful for, put in the jar and then at the end of the year you go through and read them all and you realize how many things that you've got in your life that are amazing. Especially if you're living in the western world. Man, I can look around my room right now and be like, what the hell? I've got so much stuff that not many other people have. How amazing is that? Just the fact that we're on opposite sides of the world managing to, managing to talk seamlessly, that's. I'm grateful for that it's unbelievable.

Oh, mate. Modern technology, virtual gratitude. Sending gratitude through. Through the cosmos right now.

I know, it's amazing. I think you've answered that one. Well, I think. I think. I think if you can. If you can cultivate gratitude in your everyday life, focus on the things you do have rather than what you don't. But I think, yeah, you're right. Living. If you embody that around people, it definitely rubs off. And I've seen that. I've actually seen that through my work. So, yeah, I think that's bang on.

Yeah, love it. I mean, I think on that note, we may have to wrap things up there. It's been a great discussion, man. This Q and A segment, the Q and A style. This might be something we could work with in the future for the podcast, I think. I don't know. For me, I'm constantly learning and experiencing new things that I'm always learning so much being out here, being around new environments and new people that I think we could continue this style of. This style of episode again. What do you think?

Yeah, man. Yeah, for sure. I think anything that relates to how people feel in everyday life, I think, yeah, it's just about practicing, practice, mindfulness practice, man. Every day seeing different areas in which you can. In which you can. Yeah, practice it.

Yeah, certainly. Anyways, mate, I'm going to get going because the. The Toronto Raptors have just started and they're in their third game against Cleveland.

They're 2 0.

They're 2 0. So it's been a really big disappointment out here. We had high hopes and they were just LeBron James as.

He's too good.

Too good.

I know.

They're calling it LeBron from now on. Yeah. So you see, but tonight they're going to bounce back, mate. They're going to 2:1. Oh, let's hope anyway.

Oh, fantastic, man. I'm heading off to the Marville markets today, do my veggie shopping.

Beautiful.

Hey, mate, get out in the sun. So fantastic speaking you, mate.

Likewise, man.

Speak to you again soon.

For sure, mate. Take care. There we have it, guys. Another episode of the Stage Shifters podcast. Thanks so much for tuning in. It really means a lot. And if you'd like to stay up to date in some of the latest episodes, be sure to subscribe on itunes. And while you're at it, may as well leave a review and feedback while you're there. It's really going to mean a lot to me. Look forward to seeing you next time. Bye for now.