SSP 013: Tony Barkey – Finding Fulfillment In A 9 To 5 (How To Transformed Your 9 To 5 Into 9 To Thrive)

State shifters podcast episode 13.

Welcome to the State Shifters Podcast.

Welcome, welcome, welcome. Episode 13 State Shifters podcast Glad to have you with me today. I've got a very special guest with me and I'm excited to bring this one to you guys because we've been trying to tee this up for a while, but it's always difficult with the time difference with me being in Canada and me connecting with friends back home. So this person is someone that I met while working at Deloitte, which is my corporate job, and I started about two years ago. So we both started as graduates and his name is Tony Barkey and we kind of connected very early on in the piece while working at Deloitte and we kind of gravitated towards each other because we both shared a very similar attitude and mindset when it came to our work. Now Tony is one of the most inspiring and motivated people I've ever met and he really was the person that brought the best out of me when I was at Deloitte. And even during the times when I was really struggling with finding my way or finding the direction that I wanted to take with, with my work and life, he was really there as the, as the man who kind of inspired me to keep going and he really supported me throughout the whole journey. And he made the transition from working a corporate job to then leaving that and following my heart, moving out here to Canada to pursue this direction that I wanted to take. He really, really was there behind me every step of the way and we kind of bounced off each other and a lot of respects. So I'm just super excited to bring him on because we're going to talk about the sorts of things that we did to ensure that we were making the best out of the situation we're in. Because the situation that we're in was we've just completed our commerce degree and mine was in accounting and finance and Tony was something similar. We've just invested four years of study in, into a direction and to start working as a graduate. And I was in the tax department and Tony was in the, he still is in the audit department for the first few months. Get slammed with the shittest jobs. Like to be honest, you know, I was doing scanning, filing tax returns, data entry, mind numbing stuff and it was a little disheartening to say the least. You know, I. We wanted to do so much and obviously I understand, we understood there was a certain element of starting from the bottom. You got to start at the bottom and work your way up. But we knew we were Capable of doing more with our workday, doing more with our creative potential, and this drive that we had to make an impact that actually mattered. And it was a difficult period to be all of a sudden behind a desk nine to five, not even interacting with other people, just punching in numbers in a computer or scanning files. And I'm not gonna lie, there were some dark days where I came home thinking, what's the point of even doing this? Why am I wasting my time here? I'm unfulfilled, I'm uninspired, I'm unmotivated. And if it wasn't for people like Tony and other amazing friends that I met at Deloitte who thought the same as me, who did the same things outside of work as me, and that was reading, bettering themselves, exercising, doing yoga, playing sport, engaging in social activities, if it wasn't for these people, I guess I would have settled for the position that I was in. But for people like Tony, who we bounced off each other and we really elevated each other to keep working towards the highest version of ourselves. And just because we were stuck doing a job from 9 to 5 that we didn't necessarily want to do, that did not mean we were restricted in fulfilling our highest potential. And in this podcast, we're going to dig deep and find out what things we were doing to make sure that we were reaching our fullest potential. And that's at work and outside of work. And this is one thing I'm really excited to share with people, because I don't want people to think the answer is external out there, something we have to get, do, see, or understand, because the answer starts within. You have to change your inner world before your outer world can change. It was the most fundamental realization that I had. You have to work on yourself first. You can't expect your external surroundings to change without changing yourself first. So Tony inspired me, and I want to. I want him on this show so you can understand why it takes. Because it doesn't matter what position you're in, what work that you do, if you work on yourself first and you raise your vibration, you raise your energy, your external world will start to change in ways you can't possibly imagine. So if you're listening and you're someone that's in a position or a job that you're not necessarily fulfilled or happy or motivated to go to workout every day, I want you to realize that this time now, this opportunity that you're in is your greatest chance to grow as a human. The inner growth and transformation that can happen in this period now is what determines your future. So embrace this moment, and I hope this podcast inspires you to look within. So enjoy the episode. Okay. Welcome back to the State Shifters podcast. I've got my good friend Tony Barkey on the line. Tony has been a good friend of mine for a few years now. We met at Deloitte at our first corporate job. Tony, how you going?

Good, mate. Thank you for having me on.

The pleasure's mine, mate. I've been meaning to get you on for a while because I really wanted people to get to know you because you were such a big part of. Of my life as I kind of went through this whole transition process at Deloitte and then obviously moving away from accounting. And I really wanted people to get to know a little bit about you because you're an inspirational man and you're very. You inspired me a lot to pursue my passions. So maybe you want to give people just a brief background on how we met.

First of all, thank you, mate. You absolutely flattered me there. I don't deserve that. Yeah, I'm glad you asked that because I think a lot of people that have been following you will be so familiar with the journey that you've taken from your perspective and how you saw it. But I loved watching your journey there from the time that we met all the way right through to now. I continue to enjoy watching that. I think it's a phenomenal story, what you've got, so. So I'll tell it from our perspective. And so we met, too, and a wee bit years ago, we'd started our first corporate job. And as far as we were concerned at the time, that was it. We'd made it. We were exactly where we're supposed to be. This is our career set up. And so we looked at our job, Deloitte, as a destination. We'd arrived, but the two of us clicked really, really quickly. We both found that we both had that similar kind of attitude where we'd sort of realized that we'd come into a place that wasn't what we expected. We weren't getting the fulfillment out of it that we had thought we would. So I remember us clicking quite quickly around. The idea of it was really entrepreneurship was the first thing that we sort of landed on together, I think. Right?

Yeah, it was. Yeah.

Just the idea of being able to create something, being able to impact people a little bit more than we realized we were at the time. So that both we clicked it. And I could see that sort of spark in you where you had all this energy and you thought that Deloitte was going to get the best out of that, right? It's a high performing environment. You thought that was going to match your energies and your talents. I think you found out pretty quickly that it wasn't. Not to say that the people there weren't talented, it was just your interest would lead you down a different path immediately. So you had this sort of restlessness about you where there was more that you needed to do and you weren't being fulfilled there. So I watch you go through this kind of journey. I mean, I think There was about 18 months there in the journey that we had together there, where you went from being a little bit restless to implementing small things into your lifestyle to sort of gain that sort of fulfillment and that energy and that drive that was sort of burning inside of you, you needed to fuel that somehow. So what you did was you, you went from, say, square one where you'd live the life up until that point, how you, how you were supposed to, and then you started implementing all these small things here and there. So that'd be like your, your physical training routine. It was your diet, your yoga, your meditation, your journaling, your reading. All these things happen really, really slowly. You just started implementing these different, different parts of your lifestyle. And it really felt, from my perspective, that was all really experimental. I remember all these, you know, mad diets that you were going on, that sort of thing. And it was just that, that openness to try anything to see how your body and your mind would react to it and if that got the best out of you. So that was really interesting to see. You took on all these small little bits here and there and you were in a different place altogether. That took you about six to nine, nine months, I reckon that transformation into a different Jordan altogether. Then after, I mean, that still wasn't enough. You are an absolute different person right after about 12 months of that journey. But that wasn't enough. You needed to completely flip your life upside down. I think that everyone knows you has taken inspiration and energy from, from what you did there was to pack everything up, throw everything away essentially and move to the other side of the world. So that was rather than all these little steps to, you know, change how your life was. You went, no, no, no, no. We're going to revolutionize my life and we're going to change all of my surroundings and we're going to see what we're made of. So that's where I, that's what I saw from my perspective. And you've gone on this journey to Canada and you've changed everything around you. Your life's completely different to what it was a couple of years ago. I think for anyone, they would find that incredibly inspiring, the fact that you've had the courage to change your life like that.

Yeah, thank you, man. There's some really kind words there. But I must say, along the way, you were definitely the person who I would always turn to, to bounce ideas off, to give you an update on what was going on. And you would always share what was going on in your life. And it really meant a lot when you had. Well, it means a lot when you have someone in your life who is on a similar path to you and you can share, you know, the exciting new things that you're trying. And for me, being in a corporate environment, it can sometimes be difficult to find people like you and me. And we had a few other blokes who we hung out with, who we shared similar, similar values. And I guess maybe you can explain what does it mean to you when you have someone perhaps in a corporate environment or in any work environment where you can kind of connect and share and motivate and inspire each other to become the best versions of yourself. How important is that, do you think, in a career?

Yeah. So that's going back to why we sort of clicked first place. Right. So in my personal circumstances there, you know, I'm in a. I'm in a corporate job where I sit at my desk for, you know, eight, nine, ten hours a day. And I mean, that's. That's not a dynamic environment. That's physically very static and it's mentally very static. And that's how that sort of thing is designed, is to. Is to channel all of your energy into sitting at your laptop and doing your work there. That doesn't inspire you. So then I think the human brain naturally looks for other sources of inspiration when you get put into that environment. I was incredibly fortunate to have you. And, yeah, there was a few other lights that we were working with at the time that were thinking on the same wavelength there. There was that feeling of restlessness, of unfulfillment, that sort of thing. And having those people that you relate to there allows you to have those conversations, engage in those activities, engaged in those discussions that allow you to still explore those parts of your life. That exciting. I remember we would, you know, we'd go from sitting at our desk for eight, nine, ten hours a day, and then. And then we could go home and we could talk about yoga. We could talk about meditation, we could talk about these ideas that were having, you know, we could run a business where we could do this. And having those discussions brings you back. Brings me back to life. You can do a thing for a number of hours a day that doesn't inspire, doesn't fulfill you. But literally all you need is just that little spark that still keeps you engaged, still keeps you interested. And for me, that spark was the people around. Other people might find it from their physical training routine, they might find it from reading for writing or another creative outlet. For me and for you, it was our interactions with each other. That's what gave us energy. It was actually almost poignant that we were in that situation together when neither of us were enjoying what we're doing, but we were taking such incredible energy from the fact that we were both going through it together. We could relate to each other and we could have conversations that really brought the best out of us. So we made the best out of what wasn't a great situation. And for me, the reason why I could still get the best out of myself in that situation was because I could talk ideas with someone that was on my wavelength, for someone that was thinking the same as me, someone that brought the best out of me, that was having you around, that's having these other people around that I think the same way as us. So for me it was, it was having you, it was having other people around me that shared my energy, my ideas, my enthusiasm, that's that for me, made. Made that situation exciting.

Yeah, 100%, man. And I think this goes for anyone who's listening, who's in any work environment. And it's important to be open and stay true to yourself when you notice that you're inspired by certain things that you welcome and are open to people coming into your life who share similar interests as you and I know. You know, for us, even though, you know, our corporate career didn't necessarily inspire us as much as some of the work that we were interested outside of our job having. You know, I don't regret, like, as I want to make clear, I don't regret working at Deloitte. And if anything, it's kind of helped me become the person that I am because it taught me so much. What do you think working at Deloitte has taught you the most? Even though this probably isn't going to be your, you know, long term career, why do you think it's important for people to stick it out? Maybe if they're not necessarily enjoying the work that they do.

That's an absolutely fantastic question. I'm thinking about it long and hard because I could probably talk all day about it. So what has taught me the most? Right, okay, so the corporate career that we were, that we were in, we aspired to that for a number of years. That's what we put on a pedestal. We thought that's what we always were meant to achieve, we could achieve that, then we've made it, we get there and it's, it's not that it's not what we, it's not that it isn't what we thought it was going to be. It probably is pretty similar to what we thought it was going to be. It's just we didn't do it like we thought we would. So I mean, I've been doing it for two, two and a half years now and I think what Lloyd's taught me above everything is that when you aren't in a situation where it inherently brings the best out of you, inspires you, engages you, you know, lifts you up to be the best person you can be, I think in spite of all that, regardless of what your external circumstances are, you can always find some form of bettering yourself, of taking energy, of taking positive from things. That's what I think my corporate career has taught me. Even though in the grand scheme of things, in the long term, that's not where I see myself. Finding the best version of myself, creating the most energy, having the most impact. That's okay. It doesn't necessarily need to lead to unhappiness or, or those sorts of feelings of unfulfillment. I think you can always find, regardless of your circumstance, points of energy, points that bring the best out of you. I mean, even though I would describe this sort of office corporate job as pretty mind numbing, don't get me wrong, there are still moments where you can pull away, moments of incredible energy and excitement. And my heart still gets racing sometimes. I still come home and beaming ear to ear because the day that I've had, I've taken positives in the short term in a place that isn't where I take long term happiness or energy. That's the most important thing. So I'll give examples of that. Where I'd find the most energy and candy, you know, is just having conversations with people who are on the same wavelength and have the same interest and that sort of thing. And that links back to the question before there. I take enormous amounts of energy out of that. So even though, I mean the work we did it was just accounting, right? It's, you know, numbers and figures and Excel spreadsheets. Even though that's the job itself, we still have the opportunity to have those discussions with people that energize us. We find people on a daily basis that can bring energy out of us. I like teaching people. If I have a conversation with someone where I'm explaining something to them or maybe they don't agree with me and I'm trying to convince them of something or teach them of something, or advise or consult someone with something, and when I see that they. They get something, then my heart starts beating and I'm delighted. I'm beating from ear to ear. That brings the best out of me. So I'm still finding small things in a place where I'm not fulfilled, and that brings the best out of me. To answer your question, in a nutshell, then, is that the corporate career that I didn't enjoy, what that taught me was that regardless of my circumstances, I will always find as a nature of, I don't know if there's something magnetic about people's personalities where they, you know, they draw the things that excite them. Regardless of your circumstances, if you look for it, you will always find elements of your life, of your daily routine. If you set it up like that, where you will take energy and there will be times where it will get the best out of you, regardless of where you are. But you need to look for it.

Mate. That's such a powerful answer. And you pretty much hit the nail on the head across the board there. Like, for me, you know, I think if someone's listening and they don't enjoy their job, for me, it was. I knew I was capable of more. And if someone else feels like that and they're in a career or a job, like you said, it's your responsibility to find something that is going to inspire you or motivate you or keep you. Keep you driven to working towards something higher than where you currently are. And that's what. That's what fueled me throughout the whole time. And like, I remember we always used to chat about, you know, like, the things we're going to do, all these things we're working towards, and it was just like. It was just fuel, man, that like, amped me up through the day and the minute I kind of discovered, you know, the state shifter stuff. And I was. You helped me so much with all of this. It was just like I would. I was up at 5am Most mornings, you know, and I was out late, like Late working on all this stuff. And I was just having.

You had a fire underneath it. You didn't. That you didn't have underneath you before.

Exactly. So I think the advice to people would be to find out what it is that's going to keep you motivated, you know, outside of your current job. Find a creative outlet, something where you can express your passions and let that fuel your time at your work. You know, unfortunately, we all have to do things we don't want to do. And that's, I guess, the fundamental lesson that I learned while working a job that I didn't want to be at. And like you said, again, there's so many valuable lessons you can learn from being in a job that you don't necessarily want to do. It's constantly teaching us something like. And especially a corporate job, because there's so many valuable skills you can take out of a corporate job and then apply to other areas. Or then for me, I've then now applied all these skills that I've learned into my passion and career in health and wellness. You know, I go out and do corporate presentations now, so I now understand who I'm presenting to and how to present to them. And I speak the language. So regardless of what, it didn't happen overnight. That's right.

It's so important that you didn't just pack your bags and then jump into a presentation room, start talking to people like that. I think it's so important for you is that journey up to there, you didn't automatically turn around one day, put a spreadsheet down and say, do you know what? I need to commit to an idea called stage shifters. That didn't happen. That took months and months and months. You would have taken a step back and that showed incredible self awareness to step back and say, do you know what? There isn't a fire under me, but there should be. State shifters just didn't come out of nowhere, didn't come out of thin air. You read everything. You literally just absorbed all of the information you possibly could. You were listening to podcasts, you were reading blogs, you were listening to audiobooks, you were talking to people about what inspired them, about what gave them energy, what did they do on their time off, what excited them. You were just absorbing just hours and hours and hours of information. And you know, that was your first step where you were just absorbing everything. And then the second step is sort of disseminate that and go, right, I have all this information now. What is it that that resonates with me because there was A time about a year ago where, you know, the current form in which state shifters is. That's not what it was six months ago, nine months ago, 12 months ago. I remember initially when, when, you know, you were playing football at quite a, quite an elite level where you thought that state shifters was going to materialize itself in that physical training form. But then you just keep absorbing information, absorbing information and then you're working out what lights that fire under you. And then state shifters took a different turn. So it's not that. I think what can't be underestimated is the journey you went to to find out what lit the fire underneath you that was just taking in so much information from everywhere and then working out what was important to you. And then that's, that's, that's what you put out to the world. I think that that journey and that first step is absolutely crucial.

Yeah, 100%. I guess I forget sometimes that the, the amount of evolution that, and change that, you know, state shifters and we have gone through, it's great, great to get to connect with you and reflect on, reflect on this stuff because, yeah, we're with each other like throughout the whole process. And yeah, I mean, the evolution of state shifters represents the evolution of me because when I got to the core of it, man, it was like I figured out that the core of life is, is figuring out what, how can you find fulfillment here and now that that was the key for me, you know, not. And Deloitte. Being at Deloitte taught me that. And I think if I had a left Deloitte, early stage shifters would have been something very different. It probably would have been a physical, you know, performance, how to train, you know, like PT style. But for me, that, that wasn't, that wasn't the core of, that's not the core of life for me. For me, my passion is helping people uncover how to connect with themselves, to find their unique creative calling and then act on that. And for me, it requires a lengthy process of self inquiry. And it's not, it's not an easy process and it takes time, like you said, but it's well worth it. At the end of the day, it's certainly worth it. And I mean, if you can use your career as like a stepping board into the highest version of yourself, it doesn't matter what career you're in, there's always opportunities to connect deeper and find peace and happiness now. You don't need to wait for an external condition to fulfill you.

Perfect.

Yeah. It's the key. Understanding So I think that's when, that's when I was able to take the leap. It was, it wasn't until that point when I figured out it actually, it actually doesn't matter. I can keep working at Deloitte because I was, by the end of it, man, I remember I was, I was very content, I was fulfilled and I was, I was working around great people and I actually was very happy there. And that's, that's the moment I knew that was the moment because no matter what happened, I knew where my happiness and fulfillment was coming from. It was coming from within. There was no external condition that was deciding how I feel. I chose exactly. And that's what I want people to realize and what, that's what Stay Shifters is about. With through your help and all these amazing people that have been in my life throughout this time, it's now my mind and our duty to give this information to others and help them realize that. So, mate, I just want to thank you for all the, you know, all the support and you know, I don't think you realize how much you actually inspired me throughout that whole time.

So again, mate, that's a two way street. That's a two way street. That's not the goodness of my heart. That's, that's people that, that think the same, that have the same energy, the same ideas coming together and they just. Everyone gets the best out of themselves. Not only do I get the best out of myself because of your influence, you get the best out of yourself because of my influence. But the people around us as well, that's infectious. The best lesson I learned from that time I spent with you was absolutely where there is someone that thinks the same as you, that lights a fire under you, that just excites you to talk, to just be around them all the time. Because that law of attraction sort of thing, that's the ideas, the energy that you become. So it was so valuable for me to have that with you. It was valuable for you to have that with me and for anyone else, you might not be as fortunate to be with those sorts of people on a daily basis, that's okay. But it's your responsibility to go out and find those sorts of people that would have the same sort of interest as you. And I don't know how far wide someone might need to go to find that sort of person. But when you have those people in your life, your life changes altogether. The conversations that you have are different, therefore the thoughts that you have within yourself are different. You need to be surrounded by yourself, that you're surrounding yourself with people that light a fire on you. Disclaimer. We were incredibly lucky. We were sitting next to each other on a daily basis. But if we didn't have that, we'd need to look far and wide. So you need to go into that sort of self awareness and meditation space and find people through social media or in your community, community that think the same as you and that you could have those sorts of conversations with. And that's how you got the best out of yourself and that's how anyone will get the best out of themselves.

Mate, great response. I guess just echoing what you just said was to find the people that share the same values as you, it needs to go back to the things that we were doing. So if someone feels as though they're on a similar path to us and they want to know, like what sort of things can you do or habits to implement to accelerate the process? It's through that, that action. Such as for us it was going to the gym, going to yoga, eating healthy, journaling, meditating, implementing habits around our workday that we actually you attract people from that. You might meet someone at the yoga studio who might be in a similar position. You might run into someone in the change rooms at the gym who's also working at the same company as you, who then you can connect with, which is what happened with us. Or you might meet someone you know at work who's talking about meditation and then you connect with them, be like, so I meditate as well. Why do you meditate? It's taking action on the things that are going to accelerate you down the path of finding a deep connection with yourself. And when you do that, you attract people who share the same values, you essentially raise your vibration to a higher level and you're going to attract people at that level as well. And that's what happened with us.

And that's phenomenal advice, Candid. Absolutely phenomenal.

Yeah. It's as simple as that. And you know, I guess what you know, you, you are pretty much a semi pro boxer. So you had that kind of drive outside of work, through your training and the performance aspect as well. What else would you recommend to people who are working in a career, like to keep a hold of these hobbies and interests? How did you find the time to do it? Like any tips for people?

Yeah, so we've spoken about then, you know, if you're at a place for a few hours a day where you know you're not taking energy, how do you still Feel, find the positives and the light in that. We've touched on that. And another really important part that, you know, I think you, you and I were doing really well, was, you know, we, we would wrap up work at five o'. Clock. We've got five, six hours before, well left of our day and we were making the most of that. And I think most people live on autopilot, right? If they're in a job where they don't like, they'll finish at five, they'll go home, they'll eat dinner, they'll watch telly, they'll go to bed. That's autopilot. Where are you regaining that energy? Where are you doing anything to lift your life up? You're sitting there mind numb for nine hours a day. It baffles me that people go home and don't do anything then when it's their free time to actively change their circumstances and change their mindset. For me, my extracurricular activity is boxing and the way I see it is boxing is my balance there. So I'll go to work during the day, I'll do what's expected of me. I'll still try to take the positives out of that. But for me that activity every night is where I get my daily fix of energy. I go home and my energy levels will generally be quite low. But it's not until I go out and go to training and when I, you know, my heart's racing, I'm excited, I'm engaged, most importantly I'm improving which I think is the best thing I have for, you know, your happiness and your mental state and that sort of thing. I'm working towards something, I'm getting better and when I get home and I sit down it's, and I reflect on my day. It's, it's the, it's the boxing trainer, it's the, it's the weight trainer, it's the running and that's, that's what gave me energy that day. So I'm like, I will never go to bed after having a day where I felt, it felt completely flat and I didn't do anything that didn't engage me, didn't excite me. I plan my days around that time I have where I'm going out and I'm improved myself and I'm working towards a goal. That's what I look forward to all day and it's a non negotiable, you know, I will head there at 7, 7:30. My entire day is about that time where I get Energy, that's what I look forward to, that's what I count down the aisles to. Even when my entire 16, 17 hours a day isn't going to be exciting, if I have one or two hours that is really going to bring the best out of me. That keeps me going the entire day. But you need to have that sort of thing to look forward to.

Great, great answer, man. For me it was. I obviously had my football as well outside of work. So that will come kind of dissimilar in that respect. You know, nipping out to go training and you know, it kept us disciplined, you know, in work and outside of work. And you know, I want to be mindful of your time here, mate, because I know you gotta duck off to work.

So can I make a suggestion actually just on that because, yeah, time's getting me. But could we maybe do like a part two to this session where, you know, we'll come back and we'll just touch on what we're starting to get on there. We're starting to get on that, you know, the physical side of things that, you know, we've tried to go down a few times but, you know, balancing your life of physical exercise. I'd like to sort of have a follow up session to this because there's a lot I want to talk about here, you know, in terms of the yoga and the stretching, the physical exercise and that sort of thing. And that's implications on your mental well being and that sort of thing. I'd really like to follow up because I really enjoyed this discussion. I'd really like to follow up and we'll have a little talk about the physical side of things.

Yeah, sounds great, mate. I think that's definitely in order. So I guess I'll let you get going and we'll name this part one and we'll continue this conversation. And thanks for joining me for part one, mate. And we'll touch base again soon and continue this conversation.

Thank you for having me, mate. It was an absolute pleasure as always.

Thank you, mate. There we have it guys. Another episode of the State Shifters podcast. Hope you enjoyed this one. I've just got one quick request before you guys take off. It would really mean a lot if you could leave a rating or review on itunes. It's really going to help me get this information out there to people who need it the most. So while you're at it, hit the subscribe button. Subscribe button as well. That way you can stay updated when the new episodes are released. So have a good one. Bye for now.