SSP 033: Jennifer Mansell - Breathwork & Releasing Past Trauma To Uncover Your Highest-Self

What's going on, guys? It's Jordan Kanlisch here and welcome back for another episode of State Shifters podcast. Excited to have you with me as always. And in this episode, I've got a really special person who I got to sit down and have an interview with and have a really deep conversation. I mean, we always have deep conversations that I hang out with this guest and her name is Jen Mansell. And Jen has been someone who I've worked closely with over the last, say, couple of months. She's been someone that's really held space for me and allowed me to do some real deep inner work. And we're having such deep conversations after our session together that I just really wanted to get her on the show before I jetted off back to Australia. So as you're listening here, I've probably got about a week left here in Canada by the time this gets posted, probably obviously a lot less so during this last little period in Canada, I've been really connecting with the people who have impacted me the most during my time in North America and recording conversations with them to put their. Put their gifts out to the world. And again, I invite you, if anything in this episode resonates with you, definitely reach out to one of us to continue the conversation because this is really game changing stuff. And this, I will say, is probably one of the most powerful interviews or podcasts I've done to date. So I'm really looking forward to this one and I know you're going to get a lot out of it, so enjoy. Welcome to the State Shifters podcast, a show dedicated to helping you discover your true potential through connecting the mind, body and soul. She's on.

She's on.

Okay.

Okay, we're live.

Wow. I'm in the light. I'm literally in the light.

What a space, man. I feel like this is the perfect setup for an interview, to be honest.

Yeah, I've just been waiting for you to show up here, Jen.

It's really exciting to have you here. So in our first recorded conversations because we've had many deep conversations here before and it was something I really wanted to do before I left to go back to Australia. So it's, yeah, really special. Thank you so much for giving us the opportunity to do this. We're here in your beautiful place here in the East End in Toronto.

I'm gonna get a tan.

So we just had one of our, one of our sessions. Like, yeah, we crossed paths probably about two, three months, maybe three months ago.

Yep.

You're an amazing breathwork facilitator. And you work at different studios around Toronto. So why don't you give people a bit of an update on what it is that you do, the type of breath work you do, and how long you've been doing it and what kind of pulled you in this direction.

Yeah, so, I mean, a bit of back history. I got into breathwork after really, like, I've struggled with my health for most of my life. I would consider myself to be like, I was a very sick child. And so as I got older, it became like, very frustrating for me. Got into my teenage years and I was just like, I don't. I felt like I was a bubble child. I was like, I don't want to be in a bubble anymore. I don't want to live my life trapped. I had so many allergies and restrictions and like, you name it. And so I started on this, you know, I guess you could call it a healing journey. I studied nutrition and then I, you know, got into herbalism and homeopathy and like, and that just kept going and going and, you know, I eventually started to realize that I was like, I had hit a roadblock that I couldn't get past. And I realized that the reason I couldn't get past it was because it was, it was an emotional roadblock. It was a mental roadblock. I was chronically making myself sick because I was thinking like I was a sick child. I was fully acting from a body that had been traumatized by being sick when I was young. So I started to do all sorts of different types of body based therapy work. I'm a very like movement, kinesthetic type person. So I started, you know, doing dance and, and doing breath work. And my first experiences with breathwork, I was running retreats in California and I just saw people like, shed layers of their life in a weekend and leave, like, completely different than they showed up to these retreats. And I was just like, I don't even know how this works, but I need to do that. I need to do that. And then eventually I was like, I need to facilitate that and, and bring that to Toronto because I mean, there hasn't been a ton of, there hasn't been a ton of breath work here up until now. There's more and more growing.

Yeah, I was just about to ask you that. What, what have you noticed here in Toronto in terms of these kind of healing modalities? Because, yeah, it is. When I first tried breath work, it was the same thing. I was so amazed by how transformative it was and Releasing things, releasing layers. And when you, at what point did you realize, yeah, there's a need for this here in Toronto, like you obviously out in California and other parts of the world, this is probably a lot more accessible and more common.

Yeah.

Is that what, you know, we're always a little late. Like, we're like, we're like catching up. We're a few steps behind New York and California usually when it comes to these things. And I also think like people in Toronto are, we're not closed minded. Like we're slowly opening up, but we're like a little bit more skeptical than, than some other places. And so I was literally meditating one day and got this download and it was like, you need to have a tool. Your tool is breathwork. Go get trained. And I was like, what? When I did some research and like looked around Toronto, there was no one really doing or I couldn't find a lot of people that were facilitating it in the way that I wanted to. It's like a real, like deep, powerful healing modality. And so, you know, since I've been trained in the past few years and started facilitating, it's becoming more popular, it's becoming more known, people are more interested. And I feel like it's more, this is my personal opinion, but I feel like it's more accessible than meditation. People still have connotations around meditation where they're like, you know, like, oh, well, I can't like just sit and be for a while. But you know, my dad's a good example.

Okay.

My dad's like 60 something British proper. Like my dad, he does meditate because I got him a Muse headband. But like, he's not really gonna sit down and meditate. But if I give him a breathing pattern or I like get him to do a specific breath, he's like, oh yeah, I could do that, I could do that.

You know, I sense that a lot of, a lot of men, breath work might be the entry point for them.

Yeah. Yeah.

Because it feels more like you're doing something.

Yeah, it's a little more active. It's a little more like exciting and thrilling and, and yeah, it feels more like productive. Yeah, in some ways.

So why don't, why don't you tell people a little bit more about the form of breath work or the type of breath work you do? Because for people who are starting to become aware of breath work as a modality or as a practice, there are lots of different types you can do. Right. Wim Hof Method was the first one That I did.

Yeah.

And then I tried your one. They're both very different experiences and you can have shifts in different ways.

Yeah.

So your one's more of like a conscious connected breath.

Yeah.

What would that be? You know, maybe describe that a little bit for us and what that difference would be to some others.

So yeah, the, the differentiating factor between different breathworks is usually twofold. One, you know, what is the breath pattern that you're following? And then two, you know, what's the container in which you're, you're doing it? So for instance, an example is holotropic breathwork, which is one of the most well studied, well known ones. Holotropic breathwork is the same breath pattern that I teach, but just in a very specific container. It's, you know, eight hours. You do certain things at certain times, yada, yada. So the practice that I am trained in is conscious connected breathing, which just basically means that you breathe in and out in a circular pattern. You're just like hyper oxygenating your body through breathing constantly, consistently. And I do it in a container where ideally the group is open, the group is connected. There's like a safe space held, there's moving music that's powerful and you're guided and your body is supported on a journey to hopefully like release some energy, some stuck energy in your body and to welcome in clarity and insight and move in your body, body through resistance. So that's sort of the practice that, that I am trained in, that I have been passionate about bringing to the city and, and that a lot of people have been really excited by.

Definitely.

Yeah.

Judging by the popularity of your classes then yes, it's certainly. And I also think you, you hold a very specific energy and space with your classes which people are drawn to, you know, and it's, it's awesome. And I'm curious, I want to like rewind back to the, the health stuff. The breakthroughs you had with that was breath work, something that allowed you to release some of the emotional blocks that you realize were perhaps causing some of these health concerns. And is that why you're so passionate about now sharing this tool?

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. Like, I think that there's a lot of, you know, a lot of studies and things coming out now that are saying that, well, we understand that trauma lives in our body, so it's not necessarily that it's in our mind that we can talk our way through it and we can work our way through it in that way. A child who is sick has fear in. I'll say her body that's trapped from a lifetime of constantly being like, I'm not safe. I'm not safe. I'm not okay. And so breathwork has been really helpful for me to release some of that fear. Like, it's kind of difficult to just sit in meditation and release fear. I mean, it's not like fear is just an energy that you can release, but there's something about using the breath to, like, let it move through your body in a way that feels, like, safe and you feel held. That has really, really helped me a lot.

Yeah.

Yeah. And since we've been hanging out and having these deeper conversations, and you really have been helping me become aware of where these blocks or these, you call them, like protecting protective parts of us that are really trying to keep us safe from the. The wounded part that's really asking for the love and the attention. And sometimes breath work is a great way to help move some of that. That stuck energy in there from that. That part of us has been protected for so long.

Yeah.

So maybe, like, the value of having a conversation or a deeper conversation before going into a breath work practice, was that something you were always aware of? Or do you think people can still get a lot of benefit out of just showing up and not really knowing what they're going to get out of a breath work? Or is it. Does it. Does it help a lot to really say, okay, what is my intention behind coming to this class? What am I trying to heal?

Yeah.

What am I trying to move?

Yeah.

I think ultimately, like, breathwork is a. Is a practice. You know, I want to say that yes, you can go much like doing ayahuasca or something. You can go and do, like, one breathwork ceremony and like, bring a bunch of stuff up and maybe get some clarity or like, move through something. You can totally do that. However, it's when you use it in your life consistently and also have tools of reflecting upon what comes up to the surface and what you dig up through your breath work, that really, really is really powerful when you do it in conjunction. And that's why I work with a lot of people. We do breath work and coaching. You know, the breath work is like moving things through our body. We know that you can change things on a mind level, but until you actually live it, embody it, you can believe, like, I'm powerful, I'm powerful, I'm powerful. If your body's like this, you're not. You know, you have to, like, you gotta live it and feel it in your body and that's why breath work helps us to do that. Helps us to, like, embody that. That feeling that we want to feel more of.

Definitely. Definitely. And then I guess the block that prevents us from maybe embodying that feeling.

We want to feel is right there for us to breathe with and breathe through.

Yeah.

Yeah. So, you know, we breathe into our bodies and we want to feel. Like something you said earlier, like, I want to feel expansive. Well, guess what happens when you start breathing? You come up against all the ways you don't feel expansive, all the ways that you're holding contraction in your body. We breathe into them and we can, like, let them move. Like, they're just. It's just energy stuck in our system because we, you know, something comes at us in our day and we go, oh, that doesn't feel good. That's not safe. Oof, I gotta close off. When we welcome in the breath, like, things can start to, like, open up, and we can let some of those blocks move through so we can actually access the places where we want to go.

Yeah.

What we want to feel.

I want to dial into the. The blocks, the.

Yeah.

The traumas, the energy blockages, I think yogis call them, like samskaras, where you close off.

Yeah.

And you've been doing this work for. For a while now. And for me, I would say for me, probably over the last six months, I've realized that, yeah, this. It's all an inside game. Removing these blocks and allowing that energy to move, move freely. And for so many of us, we're caught trying to figure things out out there. You know, once I do more of this or we get more of that, then. Then I'll get the. The love or approval that I'm searching for. But going back within and figuring out, okay, a lot of these blocks come from, like you said, something that happens to us where we go, oh, I don't like how that feels. And then we create a meaning or a story that we then repeat patterns. Whereas every time I feel this, mine starts saying that I'm not worthy. I'm not good enough.

Yeah.

You know, I need to do more. So do you. Do you find that most of the blocks and most of the traumas occur earlier in life before we have, you know, before we have the awareness to process some of these emotes, like these intense emotions? And is that what happens? We create a meaning around an event that keeps the energy stuck in the body?

Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, that's a great question. I think, truthfully, it can happen at any Time, you know, however, it happens a lot when we're young, because when a good example is like, you know, you're a young boy and something happens, you know, you accidentally hurt someone or something, you have a feeling in your body. And when we're young, we don't have the emotional capabilities to. To understand what is physically happening in our body, what we're feeling, right? So you're a kid, you accidentally hurt this other kid, you feel just like a rush of shame, embarrassment, fear, overwhelm. It overwhelms your system, okay? Overwhelms your nervous system. And you just, you don't know how to process that on your own. Now if a parent or someone was there with that child, so, you know, you push this kid, the kid gets hurt. If the parent was there to say, hey, it's okay, it's okay, you didn't do anything wrong, you didn't mean to. Like, I see that you're upset right now. Are you feeling overwhelmed? You know, too calm, that child's nervous system down to bring it back down, then the likelihood of that child keeping that imprint in their system, the emotional imprint from that experience is less likely. But most of us don't have that because we're not always with our family, we're not always with other people. Things happen. So we have these moments where nervous system is overwhelmed, and we just. We hold on to that emotional intensity in our system and it just gets trapped in there. But the thing is that as we continue on in our lives, in certain moments that will get like poked at again. Gets poked, and then it comes up in the intensity that it happened when you were a child. So all of a sudden you're with a bunch of friends and you're skiing and you're going down with your friend and he bails and he gets hurt. Your whole system goes right back into like, shame and embarrassment and it's my fault and all of that. What happens in our body when we have these overwhelming feelings that we don't know how to be with is our mind tries to figure them out. So our mind just makes up a very creative story. Like insert story here. Whatever. Whatever the story is, I'm a bad person. I hurt other people. I shouldn't be so rough. I shouldn't be so big. You know, whatever the mind wants to. Whatever the ego and the mind wants to make up, it will make up in those moments. So the, the work of, of healing and the way that I understand healing is like, especially because we know that money, all these external things are really just. I've heard you say this a number of times before. We really just want the feeling they're going to give us. Right. The feeling of security, the feeling of abundance, whatever. In order for us to actually get there where we want to go, we have to go back in time to the parts of us that feel insecure. We can't feel secure now. No matter how much money we have, if we still have a three year old inside of us, it feels deep insecurity. We can't like we have to go back to move forward. At the very least to like release that trapped energy and those memories that are stuck in our bodies.

Yeah. That's powerful. Yeah. That level of awareness is so, so powerful.

Yeah.

Because you realize you, what you want, you actually already have, but you're just blocking it from coming through.

Exactly.

You know, you can't feel the abundance or the love or the gratitude or the joy if there's a part of you that's saying, no, I need to get more of this. Because in the past I was told that I wasn't good enough. So now I've got to prove other people wrong.

Yeah.

That was one of the things that came up for me when we first started working together was this part of me that always felt like I wasn't enough.

Yeah.

You know, I had to maintain this like routine or this schedule where I was always grinding and working, working, working to prove something to someone that was keeping me on this grind. But underneath it, there was a part of me that just wanted acceptance, to be told, hey, you've got this, you're good.

There's always a reason why we do what we do in the ways that we do.

Yeah.

And nine times out of ten it's, it's. Our behavior is based on parts of us, unless we're highly self aware part parts of us that are protecting the parts of us that got hurt. So most of our lives are being run by these protectors that are just like trying to keep you safe, trying to keep you from hurt, trying to keep you from sadness, from pain. All of our behaviors, if you look at your behaviors, nine times out of 10, they're ways of coping, ways of protecting us from feeling what's under the surface.

That's like such a mind blowing realization. Well, for you personally, the people who you've worked with, are you noticing like trends between like. I'm sure I'm definitely the one that I work through that protector of. You know, I needed to be busy, do lots of stuff, be productive. Otherwise I didn't feel like I was good enough.

Yes, that's definitely a trick. Common one, especially amongst, like, the Torontonian folks. You know, just this really, like, rigid, intense part that's like, gotta push on, gotta do more. Gotta, you know, more structure, more rigidity, more intensity. And really like a. Like, just like disciplining. Like, like, so, so intense and mean. And I see that in most people. And like, I have had that in myself. I've really done a lot of work to unravel that because that part of me burnt me the fuck out. Like, that part of me stole my health away. That part of me, like, nearly drove me, like, past the edge because. Because it was never gonna be satisfied. It didn't matter if I, like, was making the most money I ever had. Had, like the highest, most fanciest job. All of that. It was just like, no, now you got to go to the gym twice a day now you gotta, you know, like, only eat fucking meat. Like, I don't know, like, it just, it never stopped. You can see I was never satisfied.

Yeah. The dysfunction there. If you think something outside of you is gonna give you that feeling of satisfaction, that feeling of praise or acknowledgement or appreciation.

Yeah.

It's dysfunctional.

Absolutely.

Because we'll never give it to you. You'll get the money, but. Ah, damn. Maybe I need more money.

Yeah.

The amount of miserable millionaires and billionaires out there, always seeking, searching, grinding.

Yeah.

That's why I love, like Gary Vee talks about, like, dude, you haven't reached success unless you also have happiness.

Yeah.

And I really, I love that he says that.

Agreed.

Yeah.

So the other thing is a lot of. It's generational. Right. So a lot of this stuff is passed down from our parents. Yeah, it was their parents.

Yeah.

That's what I noticed for me with my dad, he was in that. His mentality was passed down to me. That Scottish mentality where it's like, you only get out what you put in. You know, you've got to grant, you've got to work hard for. Yeah. He was a welder. So it's like this, this mentality was built into me where I was like, I got to work hard.

Yeah.

Otherwise I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna be a success. You know, my, my self worth was built on how hard do I work.

Yeah.

Because there was a feeling in there that there was. There's a wounded part of him in there that he thought he had to do that, to fulfill that, to be loved and acknowledged by his parents. Maybe.

Yeah.

Is that, do you notice generational trends as well? And then when you do this work, it's like you heal generational trauma when we heal these parts of us that need it.

Yeah, I think definitely, like the ways that we protect ourselves and our behaviors definitely get formed through our, our family systems for sure. And often, like, we learn as children to like, just carry the same beliefs and the same, like, carry our parents pain and things like that. And I think it's important to note, like you and I talked about this last week, that like, you know, when you go back a few generations as well, like, man, they were in the war, they went through the depression, like things, you know, stuff was like, really real then. Scarcity was real. Scarcity was a real thing. You, you know, and that fear and all of that just gets passed on and passed on and passed on. And then you come to a place where, you know the reality for a lot of people. I mean, in this city, we'll say, not everyone, I acknowledge, but like, that reality is not real now. So why are we still living out these coping mechanisms that we don't need? The truth is that in 2019, so long as you are privileged enough to have some skills and be able to work in some capacity, like, you're, you're gonna be okay. You will be taken care of. And you don't have to, you know, quote unquote, like, work hard grind.

Yes.

If you want to, like, get to the top of the corporate mountain and make like $200,000 or whatever, maybe. But you don't, you don't have to do those things today to survive.

Great.

Right.

It's, it's sort of tuning back into what energy is the work coming from. Is the work coming from this, like, flow, loving, sweet. I can't wait to create and go, you know, do my work. Or is it, gotta go to work, I gotta do this, I gotta get up early because if I don't, then, you know, I'm gonna feel like a failure or, you know, I'm gonna let someone else down. It's. Yeah. It's that love versus fear.

Yeah.

And if it's coming from fear, chances are there's. There's something in you that needs your love and attention. Right.

Yeah.

And there's lots of parts of us that are very fearful big time because they've had experiences with where they felt that fear and didn't know what to do with it.

Yeah.

So for people who want to start to explore this work and understanding the kind of dynamic of the younger versions of Us that are still stuck in there. Like, where do you even begin? Where do you even start to take stock of? Okay, these are. Do you identify areas in your life where there is dysfunction or you're struggling with certain areas? Maybe it's relationships, maybe it's money. And they go, okay, what parts of me in here are blocking me from accessing this love or this abundance or whatever it is is that way you kind of start with the areas you're struggling with and then go peel back the layers.

Yeah, I think that's the best way to go about it. You kind of have to find like an entry point. Right. And so looking at something that you're struggling with and making friends and understanding the part of you that is resistant to the thing. Right. So I work with a lot of women who want to have relationships. They've been really successful in their careers, want to have relationships, but like aren't sure exactly how to like figure that part out and do that part and open their heart. Right. And so they just keep focusing on like, well, there's no good guys out there and I just don't know, I can't meet anybody. And like that layer. And so the work in that case is like, how do you go beneath that, bring yourself inside yourself and start to look at the ways that you might be actually like blocked in that area? Because we know that if you are open and your energy is flowing, money comes. If you're open and your energy is, and your heart is flowing, love comes. So I think like the place to start is. Yeah, coming back to yourself, looking, looking within, it obviously helps. Like what I will say is our mind is super smart. It does not want us to look at this shit, guys. Like, that's why we can't. Right. You know, you, you know, we've been doing some of this work together. Like you couldn't have figured these places out on your own. Because our minds are just programmed and set up to not let us go in there. Like, that's the whole point. So honestly, like going, you can always do your own self reflection and look inside yourself. But really to go deeper into these places, it's really important to have support. And that goes for anyone. In any case, we can't really see where we're stuck. We wanna be all independent and I got this and I'll figure it out. But we can't, we can't really see where we're stuck. Regardless of what, you know, part of our journey we're on, our ego wants to believe we can, we can't so welcoming in support is always helpful. But what I will say is the breath is such a powerful tool. The first way that we learn to suppress our feelings is by holding our breath.

Wow.

So when we're really little, right, you probably have a memory like this. If you go back, something happens, you start like crying, whatever, right? You're gonna cry, you're gonna cry. And then you get some. Something happens on the outside that's like, I shouldn't cry. You just hold. You hold. So what we're all trying to get to as humans is this place and this feeling of like, being alive. We want to feel alive. We want to feel like, vibrant, excited, in love, all of those things. We feel those things when our energy is flowing, right? When our feelings are flowing, when things can just like happen and move through us. You know, you've had those days where you just like go with the flow and you just follow along and you're like, life feels good. That's what we're all really seeking. That's what we all want. Money flows, it's all just flowing. But we hold so many feelings and so much in our bodies, we're not able to access that place that we're all wanting to get to, which is the flow, the flowing energy place. So, so when you bring in the breath, the breath hits these stuck. The places where we've like held our energy in, held on to like, old past feelings and grievances, and the breath starts to like, bring the feelings back to the surface and open up space for, for more of the flow.

Really well said. Yeah, totally, totally. That made so much sense to me.

Right.

And that's the point when it starts to make sense and you get it. You can, you understand in real time. I feel it. You can feel it in your body. Like, I can feel the closing off of like my solar plexus when something happens and I get triggered. It's like, oh, I can feel that heaviness.

Yeah.

And we know the different energy centers are associated with different, like, feelings and emotions, right? Solar plexus being. Confidence, power, our self worth. And when we notice these things get triggered. It's like, that's a younger part of us in there that perhaps felt that in a particular moment. And now it's coming up and it's asking, it's. It's asking to move. It's.

That's, that's really just asking for attention. Attention, presence. That's it.

That's it.

Like really, at the end of the day, the place to get to is Just to be able to be there with it and be neutral or even be loving.

Just not interfering.

Yeah.

Just letting it. Right. Because, like, imagine that kid in the playground who accidentally pushed the kid and the kid got hurt. He needed that parent, that, like, higher figure to be there, to hold space for him to be like, it's okay. You can cry this out. You can let this go. Basically, permission to let it go. And so that's what these parts of us need. They need us as adults to give them permission to let this stuff go that they're still holding onto. They've been holding onto for a really long time.

Mm.

And. And these patterns shape our entire lives. Okay. My mom is a good example of this. When she was very young, like, her father was away in the military and her mother had, like, a total midlife crisis or. And she had two younger siblings, and her role became that she had to take care of everyone. That was her role. She believed in that moment that, like, she had to be responsible for her siblings and for her mother and for everyone. And she has lived that out her whole life. And it's, like, become a very deeply ingrained pattern that I think in some ways, she feels trapped in. You know, she. Like, there's parts of her that wishes, like, someone would just take care of her sometimes, but she's so deep in it. She's so, so, so deep. It is her identity, and that's why it's hard sometimes to go into these parts of ourselves, because they become our identity. Right. Like, the part of you that's like, well, I get up at 5am and I crush it, and I crush workouts, and I do this all. If you just let that part of you go, like, that feels threatening, because that's who you know yourself to be. That's who you are, but it's not true. You. You know, like, my mom, in her true essence, gives and receives. She is taken care of as much as she takes care of others.

Wow. Yeah. I feel the. The attachment to the identity is the. Is the identification with the story or the thoughts or the. The pattern.

Yeah.

And again, that's where the. The breathlo practice or having a practice that can get you back into the body.

Yeah.

Where you're more aware of. Okay, what's going on in here, instead of being just following what's going on up here.

Totally.

Because for me, every time I follow what's going on up here, that story is, oh, I'm not good enough or I don't have enough yet. Yeah, I know enough.

Mm.

No, you know, it's, it's that. And if you get stuck in, that story just pulls you down.

Yeah.

Cuz it's just gonna go like this forever.

Mm.

So at some point, if you are committed and you're in a place where you want to free yourself, you know, there's a lot of talk right now about like, create the life of your dreams. Well, like, do you know what it takes to create the life of your dreams? To really have freedom, which I personally think is like being able to have peace inside, peace of mind, no matter what's happening, just like peace in your body or be able to like shift your state, that to me is freedom. If I can wake up and feel depressed, but I have the power to shift my state to feel better, that's big time. But if you really want that, you have to go back. You gotta go back to these parts of yourself and you gotta bring them into the now. Because you can't create from fear. Maslow's hierarchy of needs, like self actualization is at the top, security and safety's at the bottom. So if you're stuck in the bottom level, you're never gonna get to creativity. You're never gonna be able to stay in a place where you can actually vision and create what you want. Your rigid guy who's like, gotta get up at 5, gotta do this, like he's never gonna create the life of his dreams. Cause his dream life is probably to fucking sleep in, to like go hang out on a beach, to not work nine to five every day, you know. But if he's running your show, you're never gonna get there.

That's it. Oh man, it's like so many light bulb moments when you talk. Honestly, y. I just. The invitation for people, you know, who are hearing these conversations or starting to be around this kind of awareness is, I think it's like a level of willingness. If you're willing. If you're willing.

If you're willing.

Yeah.

If you're ready, willing and able.

Yeah.

And it takes patience, takes patience and it takes vulnerability. And some people are like not ready for that or not open to that, you know, and don't. Don't want to go there. But what it doesn't take, I believe it's not hard work, you know, it's not hard work to do. To do this work, you have to be patient because it happens in layers and you have to be open to, to the vulnerability of like looking at some things from your past. But it's not hard. It's Mostly like, just being present, which we're actually pretty good at when we give ourselves the opportunity to actually do that.

Yeah, yeah.

And just being open, I feel if you're open. And again, for me, for, like, in setting, intentions around. Okay, I wanna. I wanna. I wanna know where some of these other blocks are. That was the thing that helped, really help me is like, okay, where are more of these blocks that are preventing me from accessing deeper states of love, Abundance, joy.

Yeah.

Gratitude. And if we set that intention on a daily basis to work through these blocks to. To be open enough to process them, then we get short, we get shown. Right?

Yep.

They come.

Yeah, they come up.

And the people come to guide us.

Yeah, big time.

You're a. You're a deep diver.

Yeah, I love diving deep. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm the same. I'm like. I'm like, yeah, like, show me the blocks. Like, show me. I want to know, like, because I mean back, like, way back to my story of being a child that was like. Felt like she was in a bubble. I. I think at some point I decided, like, I do not want to be trapped. I don't want to be trapped because I felt so trapped in my body for so much of my life. And so my past, like, decade plus, has been, like, discovering all the ways that I can become untrapped and free. Free in my body, free in my expression to be whoever I am. Free with my heart, free with my love, free with my service in the world, and free with, like, giving my gifts. And it's not. I'm not perfect. I'm, like, working through. I'm still working through the layers. There's always more blocks and more layers, you know, but each time it's like we get more of ourself back, like, who we really are. And that, to me, is so deeply rewarding. Like, I love watching myself become myself again. When I think back to my, like, beautiful child self and how wild and free and, like, exuberant she was, and it's like I'm seeing her come back in to my life and, like, that feels just, like, so deeply rewarding. And then, you know, something you and I have talked so much about? It's like, as we come back to that place in ourselves, then we're able to start to really have love for the relationships in our life. As we start doing our own work on ourselves, we can stop blaming so much of it on the people in our lives, the people we love, and then we can just, like, love them, which feels like a big, you Know, relief and reward.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That's. That's the big. That's the biggest. The big win when we do this work is the people around us benefit the most. For me, a lot of stuff came up around my family in the conversations we were having is I noticed there's a lot of blocks with my family, and I feel like that's probably the case for a lot of people, is because we grow up around our family, a lot of our traumas sometimes happen around them, around our parents. And over time, it builds a layer of resentment. The layer gets thicker and thicker. And what I realize is I never truly had a deep connection with my mom and dad on an emotional, deep, spiritual level. I wasn't able to have that connection with them.

Yeah.

And instead of me thinking, oh, they need to fix their shit, if I start fixing my shit. Yeah.

Yeah.

Who does that with their family? Right. Fucking everyone.

Yeah. Well, you know, Thanksgiving in America today, it's going to be Christmas coming up. And these are such amazing opportunities to be around our family. And if we can have that level of awareness, that presence.

Yeah.

Presence of mind to notice. Okay, I'm getting triggered.

Yeah.

This is. This is a part of me that's coming up. It's asking for attention.

Yeah.

And allow it to move through me, then I can create a brand new story around who my mom and dad are as people, which allows them to step into. Allows them to step into a new story. Mmm. We create a whole new potential possibility.

Yeah.

And back to what you said before about, like, generational healing. It's not that we are healing our parents stuff. It's that when we heal, we show up to our families in a way that helps them heal now. Right. So when. When you show up to your family and you're just present with them and you're not triggered, and you're just open and able to give your love freely. That starts healing them. Like, that is healing them. You know, when we can move through our own stuff, our own deep inner stuff which happened in the past, we free up more space in the present to just be with people now. And, like, we know that, like, love heals. It just does.

Yeah.

We create. We create a whole new future, then we open up limitless possibilities for a new future. But if we stay in that same. That same pattern.

Yeah.

The future is predictable. We never have a deep connection with our parents. We just keep living out the same roles.

Yeah.

And, hey, I want to acknowledge that, like, you know, people are not always ready to step out of their patterns like, their patterns are there to keep them safe. They're there for really, really good reasons. You know, and in order for us to move beyond our patterns, we have to take the risk to step into the unknown. Right. Because when you stop your super rigid morning routine pattern, you have to be with the vulnerability of, who am I without that and who am I now? Who is Jordan that sleeps in and doesn't do that stuff? You know? And like, how does he. How does he function? And for some people, that's really scary because we really create our lives in these tiny boxes so that we constantly feel safe because we're terrified of being in the unknown, which feels so super unsafe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The identification with a specific identity.

Yeah.

That's what it keeps. Yeah. It was very scary for me, to be honest.

Right.

Yeah. When I left my corporate job and thought I wanted the life of freedom and then realized that, oh, I don't have the freedom. I'm still trapped in that same pattern that was thinking. I wasn't. If I wasn't doing the work, I wasn't busy, then I wasn't. I was never enough.

Because you were trapped in here. You weren't really trapped in your job.

Yeah.

You were trapped in here.

Correct.

Because the truth is, you could have changed the pattern of thinking and believing in here. You could have kept doing that. Right.

100%.

But how often are we just, like, it's not the right job, it's not the right partner. It's, you know, my family sucks. Like.

Yeah.

Right.

All outside of us. Yeah.

And now you get to do the fun part, which is like, who do I want to be? You know, you get to create in this moment. Like, okay, if I'm not intense on myself, waking up every morning at 5am how do I want to function? When do I want to get up? What feels good for me? Now you get to follow more of, like, your intuition in this moment, in this reality, which can also be really exciting. As scary as it is, it can be just as exciting.

Agreed? Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. So, Jen, before we wrap up this conversation, what is an invitation that you want to give to someone who's listening or watching if they're ready to start doing this work but they're not sure where to start?

Yeah.

What would you invite them to start doing?

Yeah.

I would welcome you to start when you hear voices in your head, to know that whatever voice you're hearing is just one part of you. So if there's a voice in you that's like, you're gross, you're fat, you're overweight. What are you gonna do about it? That is one voice in you. There's always another voice that says, you're great, I love you, you're doing awesome stuff. You know, if we can start to recognize that our highest self is the part of us that can watch over those voices and notice those voices, and that's when we start to create space enough for us to do something. So I would welcome people when you notice these voices and things in your head, to take a little space from them and to get to know them, give them a name. Oh, that's like, you know, Johnny so and so, you know, this is the part of me that like. Like I have a busy part. The busy part just loves being busy. So I don't go into feelings this busy, busy. And I'm like, so then I can start to notice. Like, I notice myself just doing shit. Ah, that you, busy part. You're in there, you know, so really it's a mindfulness practice. Mindfulness practice of starting to. Starting to create space between yourself and these voices and start to get to know them as individual parts. That's really helpful. It's really, really helpful. It's. It's like a lifeline in relationships too. If you're in a partnership, then you can say to your partner, not like, I'm really pissed at you. You can say like, hey, love one part of me is feeling really upset right now. And then they can be like, oh, you know, changes the game. So I would say start there. That's one, one thing. Breath work is always accessible at home. You know, you can always use your breath if you feel feelings. Like, if you come home from work and you're like, I feel terrible, or you just feel all pent up or whatever, put on headphones, lay on the bed and just take some deep breaths and give yourself permission to feel what's there there. When I do this, nine times out of ten, I cry for like a minute. I'm like. And then I'm. And then I'm good. I've moved through it, right? So I. I highly recommend just like. And it doesn't have to be fancy, you know, obviously if you come, you can come to a breath work event and that will be an experience. But even just like welcoming in deep belly breaths, like, that's where our feelings are. They're trapped in here, right when we close off, we do this. So if we breathe, we do that. So even just starting to use the breath as a tool and giving, you know, I Know, people don't love feelings, but feelings are where it's at. And if you want to feel joy, you want to feel ecstasy, you gotta start giving yourself permission to feel some of the other things that are there and identifying and just be like, I feel angry. I'm fucking angry.

Cool.

You know, I feel. I feel upset right now. I feel a little lost right now. Like, starting to understand what you're feeling is a massive step, massive step in the direction of being able to change those things.

And not desiring to want to feel something different.

Yeah.

Pissed off sad.

Yeah.

Most of the time we just don't know. We're just like, I feel bad, you know, I don't feel good. The amount of people and clients that I talk to, you know, I'm like, how are you feeling? I don't feel good. Okay, cool. What does that mean? What are you actually feeling? You know, we're really good at talking. Like, it's really funny if you actually, like, listen to someone talking, they'll talk all around the feelings, all around the feelings. We love staying on this level. That's just like, so and so said this and then this person said that and this happened and then. And then this and blah, blah, blah. The layer deeper is like, this person said this and it made me feel this. It requires vulnerability. All of these. These practices or. Or explorations require a touch of vulnerability and openness, but will radically change your life over time.

I can attest to that.

Yeah.

What a beautiful invitation for people.

Yeah.

And, yeah, I just want to acknowledge you for a second, Jen, because you have really been a big impact on my life since we crossed paths, and you're. You're doing such amazing work and it's something that I feel is needed for men and women.

Yeah.

And, yeah, I just want to say thank you so much for all the work you do. I truly, truly appreciate you.

Oh, thank you. I take that in.

Where can people connect with you if someone wants to have a chat or just find out what you're up to here in Toronto, your travels.

Yeah, totally. Best places on Instagram. I'm on there lots and I love chatting with people. You know, send me a. Send me a DM and I'll hit you up and we can have a little chat about anything. Super open to that. Also, I'm at Mindset. I teach at Mindset Breathwork classes twice a week. If you want to come, just, you know, you can give them my Instagram handle. Just send me a message and I'm happy to send you a Free class pass to come.

Amazing.

That's a great way to try out breathwork and, and to stay in touch.

Agreed.

Yeah.

Great. Yeah, they won't be disappointed in and coming down and getting a taste of that. Yeah.

Yeah.

Jen, thanks so much. This has been amazing.

Yeah, really, I love, I love these conversations. It's the best. Like this is gets me the most fired up.

Yeah.

Well, I'm sure hopefully we get to have another one. We will. Before I, even after I go, I'll be back and yeah, we'll do another one. So.

Yeah.

Until next time.

Amazing. Thank you.

Geez, what a powerful, powerful interview and conversation with Jennifer. And guys, I really encourage you, if there was stuff in, in here that gave you an insight or a breakthrough or an understanding that shifted something in you, please reach out, contact us and let's keep this conversation going. Like, this is the work, this is the stuff. You know, it's all an inside out game. And you know, to hear Jen describe these really, really deep topics, the way she articulates it really helped me understand it and apply it to my life. So definitely keep the conversation going. You can reach out to me at State Shifters on Instagram, just send me a dam or, or you can drop me an email. It's Jordan at stateshifters. Com and I look forward to seeing you on the next episode and definitely share this one with a friend or a family member who you think could get some value from it. So until next time, guys, thanks for being a part of the episode and we'll speak to you soon.