SSP 036: Express Your Truth, Overcoming Rejection & The Fear Of Judgement

Hello, you beautiful people. Welcome back. Jordan Kanlish here, Stage Shifters podcast. Excited to have you with me, as always. And before we dive into the. Into today's episode, I have a bit of an announcement. I've opened up a few slots for some group coaching. So if you're someone who's enjoying this type of content, you feel like you're on a personal development journey and you're in search of more meaning, purpose, a deeper connection with yourself, reach out to me, because I have six spots left in my group coaching program. It's called Purpose by Design. And if it's something you feel called to be a part of, you want to take this deeper. If you want to take your journey deeper, reach out to me on Instagram @eightshifters, Facebook, LinkedIn, all the usual social media platforms, and send me a message and I'll show you what that looks like. Anyways, today's episode, I'm talking about the fear of failure and the fear of judgment. Because I've noticed this is something that comes up a few times in some of the. A lot of the conversations I have. And it came up a lot for me as I began this journey, this. This kind of resistance that I faced. When I went to go start sharing the stuff I was passionate about, I realized I was. I was very worried about what other people were going to think of me. And in this episode, I go into depth around where that's coming from and how we can move past it. So whether you're in pursuit of a dream or a calling, and, you know, you want to step into this uncomfortable zone of vulnerability, how do we navigate this fear when it comes up? So enjoy the episode. Thanks so much. And.

And so everybody thinks the present is instead.

What's going on, guys?

Thanks so much for joining me in.

This episode, this podcast and vlog.

I wanted to talk a little bit around the fear of failure and more so the fear of judgment. Because I really feel like fear of judgment is one of the main things that gets in the way of us taking action on our dreams, pursuing the life that we want, whether they be being a creator, an artist, or just going out and following our passions. Because for so long we have this fear that once we step into the unknown, once we step into and follow a path that excites us or is in alignment with our soul, that people are going to judge us. Because for so long, often maybe when we were younger or earlier on in life, we experienced a form of criticism. Someone put us down, someone said, you're not good enough who do you think you are to stand up and be seen? Or someone said, no, you don't look good enough to be in this group. You don't have the skills. You don't have what it takes. And the younger version of us took that to heart. We literally took it to heart. We listened to what that person said and we felt that emotional pain of being said, we're not good enough or we don't have what it takes. And this emotional trauma of rejection, of being told that we're not good enough, we aren't enough. This emotional trauma is something that leaves a residue in us. It leaves an imprint. And naturally our mind goes, I don't want to feel that again. I don't want to feel this emotional pain of rejection. So we create an identity around ourselves to keep us safe from feeling this again. Now, later on in life, fast forward 3, 5, 10 years when we go, I'm not happy with my life. I want to pursue my passions or become an artist and share my creative gifts with the world. Yet we come up against this resistance to. Every time we share something with someone or perhaps tell someone about this exciting venture we're about to do or even post something on social media, post an Instagram live, we come up against this resistance from this younger part of us that is still fearful and worried and doesn't want to feel that rejection or doesn't want to feel that criticism from someone else to saying, man, what you're talking about doesn't make sense.

Why are you sharing music?

You can't sing. There's this part of us that's still afraid of receiving that criticism, and that's that younger part of us. It's still in there. Now, on this episode I wanted to get into, how do we get past this? How do we get over this fear of judgment and this fear of failure, this fear of not being good enough? And the first recognition or acknowledgement is realizing that this younger part of us is still in there. It's literally still in there. Because back when we experienced this trauma, this rejection, we didn't know how to process it. And if you didn't have parents who were aware enough to notice that you experienced this trauma after getting rejected or told, you can't do this, don't follow your dreams, then you would have been left on your own to handle this. And what most people do with what I did was we distract ourselves from it.

We go, okay, let's.

Let's put that dream to the side. I don't want to talk about that ever. Again, I don't pursue that calling. Let's just go back to school and.

Go to that boring job so I.

Don'T have to worry about feeling that feeling of rejection. And we distract ourselves from this feeling, whether it be, you know, it could.

Even be a social, social media.

We start taking our mind off the experience and we don't properly process this emotion, this painful emotion. So here's the wonderful opportunity. If you feel like you have a dream you want to pursue, maybe it's. You want to share more music with the world, maybe it's when you put something out there that's maybe vulnerable and scary, but you're coming up against the resistance that's actually a good thing. The fear, the resistance, the doubt, the anxieties. This is all a sign that this younger part of you in here is trying to come out and out, it's trying to be processed. So the old pattern, the old way of going about this was we would say, ah, no, I don't want to do that. I'm not good enough, I shouldn't do it. We listen to the mind, the mind pulls us away from the pain. It says, don't do it. And for so long we've been listening to it. But the new pattern I want to create for you is every time you feel this fear, the resistance, whatever, whatever the thing is that you know you need to do, whatever that purpose calling or your creative outlet is, if you feel the fear when you go to share it, that's a good thing. And I want you to start loving it. And I want you to love the part of you that experiences it, that feels it. Is it the chest? Is it the solar plexus? Is it, Is it anxiety in the solar plexus? Or maybe it's a tightness and constriction in the chest. Or maybe the throat. For me, I remember the throat used to close up. I couldn't express myself clearly because I had this blockage in the throat. Someone had said to me, your voice is not important. We don't want to hear you. And for so long, I was afraid to speak up. This was the most scariest thing for me. It was to speak and share and be vulnerable on camera in front of a stage. And the way you get past that is you look at your fears and you recognize that it is an old part of you that's trying to be cut free. It's trying to be let go of so this new you can come through. But we can't let go of that old part of us until we look at it and love it and say, I see you and you're all good. You're not going to fail. We don't need approval and validation from anyone outside of us. The only thing that matters is the love that's coming from inside of you. Because beneath all of this, beneath all of this trauma and emotional blocks, is just pure, unconditional love. Love that's emanating through, in and through you. And once we remove the blocks, we realize that you become an open vessel for love that isn't influenced by things outside of you. You become unstoppable. You become unfuck withable. So my invitation for you is if.

You do feel fear, if you do.

Feel doubt, worries, unworthiness around your gifts, your creative talents, the fear is a good thing. The fear is just a younger version of you that wants to be looked at and seen.

So create a space for that.

And every time you feel it come up, go inward. And don't listen to the mind. If the mind's loud, love all of it. Love the part of you that's scared. Love the part of you that doubts yourself. If you spend enough time with that part of you, you realize it will start to move. You'll start to let go. And the more. The more situations you put yourself in where you're exposed to being scared, being pushed out of your comfort zone, the more opportunities you get to practice this. So this is the practice. Keep sharing, keep getting uncomfortable, keep bringing up these old traumatized versions of you and love them and just say, I see it's all good. Doesn't matter what they say. All that matters is your love and safe in here. Because we are a container of love. That's all we are.

So I hope this helped.

And if you wanted to share any.

Insights you had from this, leave a comment below.

Thanks for joining me.

In this. You are released into reality.

There we have it, guys. Thank you so much for joining me. So grateful to have you on the podcast. And there's gonna be lots more coming. And my one final request for you is if you know someone in your life who is going through a similar situation to what I described in this episode, they're coming up against the fear and resistance. Share this episode with them. You know, that would be my. My one request. Pass this on to someone who could take some value away from it. And really, that's where we create momentum. We create momentum when we share the positive vibes with other people. So thank you so much, guys. I'll see you in the next episode. Take care.

And there isn't a future, and there never will be. We think ordinarily of the present as an infinitesimal point at which the future changes into the past. And we also do a terrible thing. We imagine ourselves to be results of the past. But the truth of the matter is, it all begins here. This is where the creation begins. Begins.