SSP 049: Valerie Gamer - From Addict to Expert: How to Fix Your Relationship with Food

What's going on, guys? It's Jordan Kanlidge here. Welcome back to the State Shifters podcast. Today I brought on another local Perth native. Her name is Valerie Gamer and she is a food and relationship facilitator. And I thought now more than ever is an important time to start to reflect on our relationship with food and something I've been been doing personally. Now that I can't go out and go to nice restaurants and cafes, I'm forced to really take more of a conscious effort into the foods than preparing at home. Because if you're stuck at home, then you'll notice food can be such a big distraction and a coping mechanism for a lot of people. So I brought Valerie on to discuss some of the ways in which we can overcome these challenges that foods sometimes create in our lives and how to start to create more of a harmonious relationship with the foods we eat. Because once you put high quality foods in that align with your body, it's speak to you, then you're able to put out a lot more higher energy, whether it be through your creation, through the way you connect with people, the way you speak. So food was a really big, really big impact when I checked, when I changed up the white, the foods that I ate. So Valerie is amazing. She's such a, such a beautiful soul. So I encourage you to check her out on Instagram. It's at valeriegamer underscore. So a lot of great info on this in this podcast, guys. So again, if you, if you're new to the State Shifters podcast, feel free to hit the subscribe button. I got a bunch more content to come out to support you and your soul's evolution through aligning your mind, body and soul. And there's going to be a lot of, a lot more content to come. So thanks for joining me and enjoy the episode.

Welcome to the State Shifters Podcast, a show dedicated to helping you discover your true potential through connecting the mind, body and soul.

Okay, Val. Welcome to the State Shifters podcast, my friend. Thank you so much for joining me. We're both on the line from Perth. How's your day going?

Awesome. Beautiful Perth day. The sun is out, the birds are singing. It's gorgeous.

Yeah, we're quite blessed to call Perth home, especially this time, this current global situation right now where everyone's in lockdown at the time of this recording, 8th of April today, I believe, and things doesn't seem to be getting any better. So I am grateful for the fact that we're in a beautiful climate here and we're Going to have a conversation today because I've connected with you and I really felt aligned with the message you're putting out and the impact you're trying to have in your community and around the world, particularly in, around your relationship with food and what you do with people is you work with people one to one in group settings, helping people rediscover what their relationship to food means and maybe redefining that. And I'm curious, I want to dive in today with you to find out how this journey began. Because food's a part of all of our lives. We're making decisions around food all the time. But what we don't realize is sometimes these little decisions have a big impact. So maybe tell me a little bit more about how this all began for you.

Oh, well, thank you. And you know, before, first of all, thank you so much for allowing me to speak to your audience. And secondly, I'm actually a little bit nervous because for me to really, really give my whole heart to this is I've got to embody how it was when it all started and it brings up those emotions. So, yeah, so, you know, I'm 41 this year. I feel so confident, sexy. My self worth, my self confidence is just, literally just a pillar of shining health. I feel amazing. But this is how I didn't always feel like this. So I really want to take everyone down the yellow brick road like the wizard of Oz. And I truly believe as human beings, we're storytellers. And if you can embody how and why and what I went through, you can understand my journey along the way. So I grew up in a really beautiful home. I'm an only child, mum and dad, there was so much love around and you know, going through my schooling, everything was fine. I never got bullied. So it never came from that. It came from about the age of, about, I think about 19 years of age where the Dr. Atkins diet came in. And I don't know if anyone knows that. It was a little blue book. It was all about high PR protein and low carb and it was all about, you know, knowing exactly how many calories you would have a day and you would lose weight and everything was fat free and sugar free. And I just thought, you know, I'll give this a go. I felt confident within myself. But you know what, I guess, you know, I could, you know, tone up here or trim up there and I guess being someone that also had a little bit of anxiety and nervous in them growing up and a little, I guess, low self confidence I started to kind of really calculate everything. Like I wouldn't eat a banana because I knew that had say 80 calories and an apple had 50. So anything. I never looked at food as health. It was all about the end result. And when you were chasing an end result, my friend, you would do anything to get there. Now, for me personally, growing up, my dad was extremely strict and I don't know if this can relate to anyone, but there might be someone in your life that you put on a pedestal. Now what happens with this Jordan, is that when you put someone so high up on a pedestal, you put yourself in the pit. And no matter what happens is you don't have confidence, you have low self worth, you over analyze you over review, you're not in your heart, which is obviously coherent, you're always in your mind. So from about your throat to your head up, you always overanalyze. If someone says something to you, you think you've done something wrong, whatever it might be. So for someone that has an addictive personality, low self worth, always putting themselves in the pit. When I started this food journey of calculating my calories, I got really serious with it. But the main thing what happened was I started to feel like I had control. Now obviously my father loved me. It was my perception that he didn't love me the way I wanted. So it was all a perceived perception around that time. So I got really calculated with my food. I started to, you know, just slim down on my food. And I was looking for that end result to be that size 8 or that size 10, I can't remember at the time, or to be a certain weight on the kilo on the scales. What also happened? I implemented an exercise regime. Going to the gym three times a week, addictive personality kicked in, went to four times, five times, six days a week to then always running around, jogging first thing in the morning, wrapped up in garbage bags. And so I would sweat more, I would lose weight more. And it just, I took everything, everything to extreme because I wanted to feel loved and I wanted to feel good enough and I was going to be in control because guess what, me being in control made me feel fantastic. And I started to realize the food I was eating, the exercise I was getting, I felt good enough. What I didn't realize, I took it so far. And that's when the eating disorder of bulimic kicked. What happened there is Jordan is then I started to just eat as much as I want, go and put my fingers down the throat and purge up. And I just thought this is fantastic. I don't have to count calories out. I can eat what I want. And what happened was, is the person I turned into in that time, which I couldn't see, I was lying. I was just not being the best version of me. And I really got caught up in the world of just looking a certain way. So health for me was never about vitality, it was never about replenishment, it was never about nourishment. Never about, when you eat cucumbers, it's good for your hair and your nails. I just didn't look at food like that. It was purely, what am I going to get from this? And if I can't get that, what extreme measure do I have to go to? And I got down to about 48 kilos, and I still thought I was fat. It was ridiculous. And, you know, I truly believe that you only change in any circumstance if there's either pain or pleasure. So I had a food addiction to that Food addiction made me feel good, self, love. But this addiction, Jordan, can come up in any way. It could be poison, it could be gambling, it could be drugs, it could be sex. Gosh, it could even be masturbation. It could be anything. When you rely on something every time to make you feel good, you will realize you will do anything to get it. You will do anything. So for me, I would have done, I did anything to get that food. And one day my mum came to me and says, I think it's time, you need to go and we will take you for a meeting. And I think you need to see a psychologist. And, you know, I truly believe that to make a change, like I said, it's pain or pleasure, but the first thing is acknowledgement. You've got to acknowledge there is a situation here that is not serving you and is not making you be the best version of you. So when I sat down in this chair of this psychologist, she said to me, right, what's your situation? I said, well, you know, I've got an eating disorder. I put my fingers down my throat, this, that, blah, blah, blah. And she was really smart. She never took it away from me because guess what? People can go the other way. She said to me, you know what? You can only purge on Thursdays. And at that point, she gave me permission. But guess what? There was no fight or flight anymore. And in that moment, I acknowledged I had a problem. And in that moment, everything just stopped. Everything just stopped. And you know, this is probably. That was about, gosh, 21, 22. So for about four years I was like that. I feel very blessed. I wasn't one of the ones that was medicated or hospitalized. I think if I kept going, it could have gone that way. And so I kind of then just lived a life of, you know, really healing my body. I went through some bad relationships, but I never went back to that food journey of purging or over calorie counting. I never went through that. But what did happen is that when I went through my life and I traveled the world and met so many amazing people and come back to my life in 2005, is that I started to realize that I was living outside of my values and started comfort eating. I started like, you know, you know, like there was this perception that I had to get married, had to have kids, and had to do everything that white picket fence. And I started to could feel those emotions come up again from when I was 19. And I really then started looking at health in a very, very different way. I started looking at more holistic, I started looking at more rituals and guess what? I started going to the gym and that a little bit of addictive personality did come up again. But I realized through, you know, people that I surrounded myself with and really knowing that I was good enough and self love and all of those rituals, I started to realize that there's a difference of looking good and feeling good. There's a difference of, you know, having that result. Why did I want those toned shoulders? Why did I want that six pack of abs? Why did I want beautiful toned legs? Was it to attract people? Was it to make me feel good? Like I had to start asking myself those questions. So I guess kind of fast forward to where I am right now. 41 years of age. I'm a certified raw vegan chef. I spent the last two years nourishing my heart through different spirit, spirituality, modalities, rituals, spending three weeks in Bali, getting certified as a chef. And it all came down to that. Food choices are just emotional boundary or extension of your emotional boundaries of food. So what I mean around that is that if you are wanting just to be healthy, there's no difference of having an energy drink or say going, having a beautiful nourishing bowl. Because you're looking for the result of just energy. Okay? There's a very big difference of vitality, replenishment. So I really want people to kind of tune within and start thinking to themselves, where am I putting someone in a pedestal and where am I putting myself in a pit and why am I resulting to eating bad food choices? You know, we see all of those movies, you know, Bridget Jones's Diary, I think it is. You know, she has a breakup with the boyfriend and she goes and eats ice cream. That's an extension of emotional boundary. So what emotional boundaries are you putting into place right now? And I just want to say I'm not perfect. I'm definitely not perfect. But I really have learned the skill set of listening and tuning in. Do I need this right now? Number one, am I going to feel good? Is this going to give me good energy? Am I going to feel vitalized? Is this going to replenish my skin? Is this going to block me up? Is this going to be this? I have a mental checklist in my head and if I go through that and I think, ah, stuff it, I just want to eat it. Well, to me everything's about cause and effect. Whatever you do in life, there is an effect. There is something on the other side. So if you go and eat a couple of pizzas a week and have your soda drinks, well, you can't expect to have beautiful skin. You can't expect to be going to the toilet properly. You can't expect for your moods to be beautiful and calm and balance and feeling flow and alignment. Shitty food unfortunately creates a lot of acidic in the body and creates a lot of acidic emotions and I had to get really freaking damn real with myself. I was eating acidic food which created acidic emotions, which created a lot of living in my ego. And I realized that is not how you live life. Everything is about your heart, how you live in your heart, how you give more. It's not about being significant and ego, it's about being grounded. So I started to realise what foods make me grounded. Straightawan breathing properly. How many people cut themselves off from beautiful breath work because they don't breathe properly? It's yeah, yeah, let's do this. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, gotta do this. My God, you get off the phone and it's just like, I mean they just suck you dry. They're the Nelly Nancy's. I mean, for Christ sakes, you just feel like saying, go and breathe. Take a 10 minute meditation, your life will be changed. So number one, you've got to learn how to breathe properly. That's vital. Number two, you've got to know that you've got to love you first. For any parents on the line, this is a hard modality to breathe in and take in. Because you were taught especially as the mum, give, give, give to the children, to the husband, to your partner, to the dog, to the Cat. And you're left exhausted. So you were constantly pouring from an empty cup. You've got to love you first. You've got to be with you for the rest of your life. And you don't own anyone. You don't own anyone. You've got to love you first. So how can you implement self care rituals, vitality rituals, meditation rituals, breath work rituals? So when I have my beautiful 500 mils to a liter first thing in the morning, I can visualize that water going through my colon, going through my body, cleansing, detoxing, straight away number two. Then I want to have my beautiful celery and ginger juice because I know what they do. I don't need to go into all the health benefits of celery. So I visualize what these foods are doing for me. I get really excited about it and then I embody gratitude for about 15 minutes and be truly grateful for what I have right now, the person who I am now and everything has happened to me for a reason, to help someone. And then I have my ceremony cacao and I sit in that and I open up my beautiful heart so my heart can give love to my family, my friends, all of that. And then I start my day. And I always used to start my day, Jordan, completely reacting down the coffee first thing in the morning. That's fantastic at acidic to the bloodstream. Straight away, guess what, need another pick me up. Then I'm not breathing properly, then I'm in fight or flight. Then I'm driving to work, pissed off because I've got every friggin red light. Then I get to work and I'm pissed off because I've forgotten my lunch. And I started to realize like, how can I create calmness, how can I be vitality if it's just acidic, acidic, acidic, acidic. And guess what, my friend, you become so friggin acidic, you attract acidic people. You create ego driven people. So I realized that I had to create a relationship with food, full stop. Food is a relationship. It's the same you have with yourself, your friends, your partner, your parents. You eat it, drink it every single day, my friends. And you are either putting good relationship of food into your body or bad. Everything's cause and effective. Hands down. If I go and eat gluten and wheat and dairy, for me that I know creates a shit storm in my beautiful temple, I'm gonna be constipated, I'm gonna be gassy, I'm gonna be bloated that I'm gonna complain to my husband, then I'm gonna have acne come out, then I'm gonna be a shitty person, a shitty wife. I have no patience. It's all I know if I want to go down that trip, I of just eating, whatever. These are the side effects, hands down. And you know what? I have been there, done that, got the sticker, got the gold award, got everything. When is your moment, when is your friggin moment that you say to yourself, for Christ's sake, I've had enough. It's why I can't have coffee anymore. Haven't drank, coughing about nine months. I was doing everything so right. And my BS story was my one black coffee in the morning gave me peace. It was amazing. I don't drink, I don't smoke. I'm a good bloody person, you know, I deserve this. But that one black coffee in the morning kicked my adrenals way up over my head. I wasn't calm, I wasn't patient. And everyone around me got the worst version of me. And guess what? That story kept me safe for so many years. I don't drink, I don't smoke. I'm not a high maintenance. I still shop at Salvos because I love to do that. Not because I need to or have to, because I love to. And there was one story, and it wasn't actually about the caffeine, Jordan, it was the lies that I was feeding myself around that one black coffee a day. Do I miss it? Every day I miss it. But it's just enough for that one coffee to think, I'll have another one at 3 o'. Clock, I'll have another one tomorrow. So I really want to say to everyone on the line, it's not about going vegan, it's not about going raw. I'm about 80% raw. And the reason why I eat 80% raw is because my skin literally just bursts of the amazing vitamins and the minerals I give it every day. I eliminate. I go to the toilet properly, my hair grows. Amazing. My skin, my calmness. And when it's about going raw, it's not about, oh my gosh, you're one of those weirdos. No, having a juice in the morning is raw. Having a smoothie is raw. Having a beautiful nourishing Buddha bowl with some beautiful good fats of avocado and olive oil, maybe some seaweed and mixture of greens and hemp seeds and sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds is raw. You eat with your eyes first. The afternoon might be some hummus with some beautiful carrot sticks and cucumber sticks, or you might have some beautiful cut up fruit and have it with some homemade almond butter or peanut butter. Add the good fats to your nervous system and then dinner would be, you know, some type of greens and a plant based protein. So it's not one of those weirdo raw people. It's about when you add more raw food into your temple, the temple that guides you through life, it will literally shine on the outside. And that's why it really comes down to you've got to nourish your heart first. You've got to nourish your heart. You've got to find out somewhere along your journey, where have you had low self worth? Where have you had low self worthiness? Where have you been? Maybe using food, drugs, sex, alcohol to fill that void. Because food choices are just an extension of our emotional boundaries. If you're overtired, you go for the heavy carbohydrates or the running dirty carbs to like really relax you. And if you want to pick me up, you go for the sugar because you want to feel all light and burst and I'm going to get shit done. I've got to do this. I've got to do my checklist. It's being conscious of this and finding a beautiful solution. And I know my story will set someone free, really do. Because you know, I am so blessed of everything that has happened to me and I'm so glad my addictive personality got me to where I got because it's made me into the woman who I am today. And I just really want to share a beautiful little piece. She sees the beauty in everything. She knows she is loved and she is worthy of living a life full of joy, abundance and happiness. She's someone that is grateful for her lessons in life, good and bad, as she has seen the blessing in them. Every breath she takes, she knows she has everything within her to create a life full of soul connection. And though she shines onto, she is ready to step into her feminine power even more. She knows this is where true beauty lies. And to really add on that, when I was so in my fight or flight mode of my addictive personality, of my workouts, of being so calculated with my food, I never had freedom. I never had freedom, Jordan. It controlled me everywhere I went. And I just thought how can I keep living like this? But more than anything, I have a daughter and a son and I want them to have the most amazing relationship with food. That when they have these beautiful salads, they know what you know sweet potato is doing and cucumber and Tomato is full of lycopene, which is great for your heart. All of those different things. Not like, oh, I've got to eat this to do that. No. So for anyone listening, I invite you. What is your word to do with food right now? If it's just for fitness or to be a size 8 or a 10 or a 12, if it's to look bulky, if it's to look toned, that is the result. I challenge you, invite yourself to go down a journey of looking at food for vitality, nourishment, replenishment. Because when I made that exchange and that shift, my entire world changed. There's a difference of feeling freedom, but the soul freedom I have now is second to none. And I know there are women out there and maybe some males that are battling with this, maybe they could be suicidal, maybe they are on this journey that they are just constantly beating themselves up. But it comes down to low self worth, no confidence, and looking for something on the outside. On the outside because you don't want to go within to make you feel good. And as you know, Jordan, there are so many foods out there that are highly stimulating and will keep you stuck on the stimulant cycle. And that is a whole other topic. I see so many people stuck on the stimulant cycle of preservatives, additives, you know, which are full of carcinogenics and so many terrible things. And you don't control your life that stimulant dial does, because you just have to ask yourself, how do I know if I'm addicted to something? If you can't go three days without it, you're addicted. You're addicted, my friend. So I challenge you, go within. It's the most amazing journey you'll ever go on. It's helped me heal my relationship with food. It's helped me have soul freedom. And I feel like I'm 20 years younger. I wish I could say this to the 19 year old, but the 19 year old needed to go down that journey to come through the other side.

Thank you for sharing that. And I know it's not always easy going back and sharing stories because when there's a lot of pain associated with past, it's sometimes hard to recall that. So I just want to acknowledge you for sharing that with us and for anyone listening. I know people can relate to that. And right now, people who are listening, most people are trapped at home. Most people right now are in isolation. A lot of the coping mechanisms that people use, going to the gym, going out, socializing Going to bars, drinking, going to restaurants have been taken from us. So we're in a time now where this message is going to hit a lot of people because a lot of people are probably emotionally eating right now at home because they've got nothing else to do.

Well, they are, yeah.

Yeah. And even I'm finding it challenging at times because I'm at home. You kind of find yourself unconsciously walking into the kitchen because you're bored. You're looking for a distraction. The mind is like, okay, what can I distract myself from? And like you just said, that's what food often is for people. It's a distraction from them not having to feel these underlying emotions of unworthiness that are buried in there. When you're at home. Damn. It's very easy to walk to the kitchen and just eat some food that maybe doesn't align with you. So right now, if people are at home and they're really feeling the struggle, like they're just, they've been eating some bad foods because they're just really struggling with this whole period of isolation and quarantine and not being able to find their space and their connections elsewhere. And they're just like, right, going to eat. I'm just going to stay at home and eat and maybe they're going to drink to mask this challenging period that's going on. What are some shifts that we can start doing? Like, if we're at home and we want to break this habit of just making bad food choices throughout the day? Does it come down to prepping properly? Does it come down to firstly getting clear on, okay, why am I going to, why am I using food as a distraction? What's going on underneath the surface here? What are the emotions that are coming up and spending time identifying what they are and being with them? Right now is a challenging time. Like, what are some suggestions that you have for people when it comes to just shifting their relationship with food?

Now, Jordan, that's a really valid question. And it is, and I've had to ask myself that as well. But what I will say to everyone is that empower yourself and ask the quality question. Because it all comes down to quality questions. If we are still in isolation for another two months, are you wanting to be the version of. What version do you visualize? Do you want to be the version that, you know, when we're all having Christmas Day at the end of 2020 and everything gets talked about this crazy ass year of 2020, what did you do in two months of isolation? Do you want to Say that you know what, you wrote a book, you created an you really kind of worked on yourself. Or do you want to say, mate, I just ate and did nothing. That's a quality question. Before I give my tips and tricks, you've got to ask yourself, do you want to look back on this moment of time which God forbid we never get again and we probably never will. So it's a moment in time for all of us to go within. But you have to ask yourself that quality question. Do you want to be known that for the entire isolation of two, three months, whatever it is, that you literally dropped the ball on your self worth and on your vitality? That is number one. Before I give any tips, you've got to ask yourself that. I personally don't, I don't want to be known as the person that just ate and sat around and netflix away. I mean, we all say, we're so busy and we're time poor, we don't have enough time. This is your time, this is your time to wake up. Secondly, you've got to know that when you go and eat food, are you eating from a place of you know what, it's breakfast, I want to break that cycle, I want to nourish my body, I want fuel, I've got to do this, I've got to do that. Or are you eating because you're just bored? Ask yourself, am I eating because I'm hungry? Am I eating because I'm dehydrated? Because wake up everyone, majority of the world is you need 40 mils per kilo weight just to function. So if you're 50 kilos, you need at least two and a half liters to clean your colon, wash, clean, detox your body. Okay, 40 milliliters per kilo weight. So when you're hungry, number one, are you really hungry? Am I dehydrated? Am I bored? Empower yourself right now. And if you say, well, I am just bored, just say, well, is this packet of chips really going to allow me to think clearly? Is it really going to really replenish me, vitalize me? Is it going to make me feel good? Is it going to clog me up? Am I going to kind of be blocked up for the next two days? So ask yourself those quality questions. But I also believe, Jordan, everything is about plan and prepare. And this doesn't have to be. You have to go and do your seven day meal prep every Sunday like a lot of people do or the bodybuilding industry. This is about being a little bit smart. You know, every Night we make our smoothies the night before. Why? Because they've got all the fiber content and majority of people are fast asleep in the morning. They just want something simple. So if you know that you're not a morning person, have your smoothies, number one, made the night before. Have 60% live nutrients, 30% of a good fat for your nervous system and 10% plant based protein preferably. Okay, so don't just have all fruit in a smoothie, you will kick your sugars right up and it will not be a balanced meal. Have that. Can you make some beautiful nourishing salads, okay, A huge big salad and put them into some containers for a couple of days. Because guess what? When you have good food, you feel great, you feel light. I always give that analogy that when a couple goes out to a restaurant, generally the male orders the huge big steak, the chips that hanging over the edge and, and they have a thing called a salad which is really a garnish and you know what's the date. And the female has the fish and the, and the salad, beautiful salad that's all light and she's chatty and she's ready for a beautiful night of love making or whatever it might be. And he sitting at the table like shut the hell up. I mean we've all been there, we've done that. So you've got to ask yourself the food you're having right now at midday, knowing that you've got to go and do something in the afternoon at home, maybe you're doing some DIYs at home, is this going to make you feel heavy? Is it going to put you to sleep? I personally can't eat a big breakfast or a big lunch like heavy, heavy cooked. So for me personally I look at where can I get the most. So I like to have my juices and my smoothies in the morning that are less pressure on my digestion system. I feel light, I'm light on my feet. I get stuff done. I'm in flow and alignment. If you're someone that wants to get things done during the day of like I said, DIY jobs don't go and have these big heavy cooked breakfasts that sends you back to bed. So you've got to be smart about this and plan and prepare. Make snacks in advance, you know, all of those things. If you're someone that wants to chew food in the morning, make up three or four days of a chai seed pudding and make it and have it all ready to go for breakfast or for a snack in the afternoon. So to answer your question, Jordan, everything comes down. Yes, you've got to plan and prepare. If you are, you're buying shitty ass food, you're going to be eating shitty ass food at home. So it comes down to you on what you buy at the supermarket or what are you getting home delivered. And at the end of the day, we are all responsible for what we put on that fork.

So true. So true. I want to touch on the emotional eating part because for a lot of people food is the medicine that helps them get over certain traumas or emotional things. Or maybe it's been the coping mechanism for a long time. What is an indicator that, okay, someone has an emotional eating problem and then what is the first step to. What has been your first step in what you recommend to clients to help them maybe get underneath the surface and go back and give themselves, give themselves love because it's a part of them that's feeling painful, unworthy, that's being covered up by food. I know there are lots of different ways of doing it, like meditation practices. Different. Yeah, different guided practices. What have you found to be the best that's helped you and your clients?

What's really helped me with my clients is number one, acknowledging what food it is. And this can actually be embarrassing for some people. It is a half a tub of ice cream, it is the bickies and the cheese at night, it is the, you know, half a block of chocolate. So number one, you've got to acknowledge what food it is. You just have to, you've got to know, are you acknowledging the more sweet side or the savory side? You've got to acknowledge this guys, if you don't, I can't help you on the next part. Then secondly, you've got to start looking at that food and saying, well, you're actually addicted to what that feeling is giving you from a taste bud point of view. So if it is, you know, say candy for argument's sake, you're probably addicted to all those nasty preservatives and additives that are in candy. Or if it's soda drink. Do you get what I mean? Whatever it might, you've got to know. Then you've got to start to be kind to yourself and say, well, it's not just all meat. I'm actually caught on the stimulant cycle. I'm actually caught in a stimulant cycle of being addicted to that food. Then for me personally, it all comes down to pain and pleasure. I would then be digging deep and looking at that and asking myself, what is the side effect of that? What is the side effect of constantly eating that food? What's the side effect of always having wheat in my body? Is it causing inflammation in the body? Is it causing me to have these crazy rashes? You know, am I addicted to always eating cheeses and things? And I always feel phlegmy? You know, maybe it's a journey to start looking at what dairy is doing for you. That's a whole other journey of dairy. So number one, you've got to acknowledge what food you're addicted to. You have to do that. Otherwise it's like going in a haystack and trying to find that needle. You've got to, number one, pin that down. You've also then got to pin it down. When is that happening? Is it happening when the kids are going to bed and it's just you and Netflix and the half a block of chocolate? Is it at the evening? For a lot of people it is. Maybe it's the 3 o' clock itis. You're doing so good, you've done your home workout, whatever it might be, and you get to 3 o' clock and you become emotional eating. You're looking for that three o', clock, pick me up. So then you've got to know, are you someone that needs that sugar? You've got to find that replacement. It's generally not, maybe even you talking, Jordan, it's your gut health. You literally could have candida. Once again, that's a whole other topic. If you do have something of an overgrown yeast infection and you're always craving sugar, it's the candida talking. It's the candida wanting to be fed. Give me more sugar. And once again, if you don't acknowledge that, you will be on that path forever. Majority of people have a candida problem. You know, there's gosh, sore throats, constant cough, you name it. It's a build up. So to really give people sound advice in this time of isolation, you know, number one, you've got to acknowledge it. Number two, you got to empower yourself. To distract you around that 3 o' clock time, you've got to find another thing. Maybe you need to go and brush your teeth. Maybe you need to go and read 10 pages of another book. Maybe you need to go and earth yourself, take your shoes off, take your thongs off, go and stand on your lawn and actually get reconnected. Because if you don't, you will go from the fridge to the pantry. From the pantry to the fridge, vice versa. It's really important. And you've got to start to understand and educate yourself that if you are addicted to these sugary foods, you've got to look at the side effects. Because I can give people a recipe how to make bliss balls and I can give solutions. But if you don't have that backup in need and you hit a crisis point in your life, like COVID 19 or a boyfriend, you know, you go through a breakup, you'll go back to your default ways. Default ways, guys. So to me, education is the key. Education, for me, it wasn't just about stopping caffeine. I know what it does to my adrenal fatigue. I knew what it was doing for my skin. I knew all the different side effects that it was doing in my body. And that alone was enough for me to say, that's it, that's it, I've had enough. So if you were someone that constantly has a sore tummy, you know, and bloatiness, I challenge you. Look at your sugar addiction. He's someone that's constantly having wheat and gluten, which could create an intolerance in your body. But you're still having the cheese and crackers every afternoon. It's really interesting. So you've got to educate yourself, you've got to stand tall, you've got to empower yourself and you've got to start looking at solutions. And I truly believe this isn't about going in and changing everything. If you just change your weakest part, just that one thing, you're going to feel good, you're going to feel strong and you're going to feel empowered. So what I mean is, Jordan, that if your weakest part is about 8, 39 o' clock every night, you go for the cookie barrel, you go for that glass of wine or that next glass of wine or that chocolate. Ask yourself why is this a weak time right now? Is this when I feel connected with my partner? Is this when I feel relaxed right now? And why have I associated with that? Oh, I've worked all day or been with the kids all day, whatever it might be. And where can you find a healthy solution around that? Or think, you know what, Monday to Friday, I'm not drinking wine or I'm not having chocolate and I don't want to use food as a reward because I actually don't like that. But where can I just substitute a healthier choice just on a weekend to build up that mechanism?

Are you a believer in, you know, having like cheat days or giving yourself a day to Just like, you know, I'm gonna eat. I'm gonna eat something that wouldn't normally eat so that I can kind of experience. Or even give yourself the reminder of. Okay, yeah, that's why I don't. I don't do that. Do you ever do that? Or do you recommend clients give themselves a day to just eat what they want?

Look, I personally don't have gluten, wheat, or dairy because I know what it does for my body. But for most women, leading up to my cycle the week before, I crave sugar like you wouldn't believe. So I plan and prepare. So I make sure I've always got homemade chocolates, homemade raw cheesecake, and homemade bliss balls in the freezer. So that is my healthy substitute if I want to. I always say to people, if you want to go and eat that, that's fine, fine. But be conscious of the effects that you feel the next day. Do you feel really lethargic, Jordan? Do you feel extra tired? Are you finding that you're actually constipated now from that huge, big chicken parmy and not enough veggies and just too much protein? So it's not about taking people down to vegan, vegetarian. It's not about that. It's being conscious, very conscious of how we feel the next day from that food. Very much so. So I just know, I've taught myself if I want to go and overeat at dinner time, and what I mean is, is that I'll have a beautiful dinner, but if I think, oh, I just want to have maybe two bits of raw cheesecake and some bliss balls, I'm gonna be like, oh, man, I've cooked myself, even though it's still healthy, but I've overeaten. And guess what? The next day, I wake up so tired.

Yeah, that's exactly it. Being your own observer.

Yeah, I'm my own educator. I don't wake up feeling like gratitude. I don't feel like my juice, no way. I just want a coffee. And it reminds me in that practice and when I overeat, literally, I get constipated. I don't do any of my rituals. And that day, I'm not calm, I'm not present, I'm not loving, I'm not full of gratitude. And I just think, you know what? Fuck it. Excuse my friend. It's just like, stuff it. You know what? I wanted to overeat, but that's the side effects, the outcome. Yeah, being conscious. A lot of people aren't conscious of what they eat. They have the gut pain, they have this, they have the gas, they have the bad skin. Oh, wouldn't have thought to putting it back to food.

Mate. It's funny, it's funny you should say that because growing up, you know, in Australia, like kids here in Australia, the stereotypical Australian diet on the surface, you know, my mom thought it was healthy, but underneath there was a lot of sugar, a lot of dairy and a lot of bread. And I struggled a lot with acne issues growing up as a kid. And it was, it was really affecting my confidence for a long time throughout school and I was someone who was going to the gym a lot. I loved like working out, you know, obviously I had my own unworthiness issues underneath there as well. And I was lifting a lot of weights, drinking a lot of whey protein, which is full of dairy, and my skin was getting worse and worse and worse. Ended up going to a dermatologist because it was getting that bad. And he put me on this nasty, nasty drug called like Roaccutane. I think it's called Accutane in the States and it's real nasty stuff, your liver. But it got the result. And it was until later on in my personal development journey when I realized that food was having a big impact on how I felt, but also how I looked. And dairy was the big thing that would trigger my acne. And it bothered me when this doctor or someone who's very qualified at helping people didn't even look at, you know, what are the underlying issues here emotionally. And some of the food choices I was making. I was just prescribed a drug. So like you said earlier, food becomes an emotional coping mechanism. But it's the same thing with anything else, like anxiety, like all these other emotional issues, we all have coping mechanisms for them. And if you go to a doctor, sometimes they'll just prescribe you a drug. Here's the fix. Just take this or do that and we still don't get underneath and look at, okay, what is this painful emotion that I'm too afraid to face? If I faced it, then I would have the self love to acknowledge. Yeah, if I make these, I don't want to make bad decisions in my food because I value myself more than that. So yeah, I think that's a really good point. You make about decisions and the key. But Tony Robbins came up for me while you were speaking because he has this master system around decision making. And it comes down to number one, your state. If you're in a, if you're in a bad state of mind, you're gonna make bad decisions. And it's the same thing with food. The second thing it comes down to is questions. Are you asking empowering questions or disempowering questions? And you made some great points about some of the questions you ask before you go and have a meal. How am I going to feel at the end of this? What foods do I need to eat so I feel energetic and vitality? What foods are going to support me in my creative outlets? Asking empowering questions allows you to make better decisions. And the third thing that Tony mentions in this master system is your values. Like if you've got health, love, connection, happiness, fulfillment, these are your core values, then you're going to prioritize decisions around food that are in alignment with those values. And if everyone's. Everyone's number one value should be health, in my opinion, if your number one value is health, then you're going to look for ways to ensure that you're feeling energetic, connected, whole through the foods you eat and exercises you have. So, yeah, this is a really important topic right now, especially because food impacts us in a lot of ways. And I really appreciate the work you're doing. And I'm curious, like, if people want to connect with you more and learn more about how that, like what you're up to, especially people who are international, where can they find you online?

Yeah, look, I think just go to my Instagram valeriegamer. It's the best place. I'm in the process of creating some programs and more ebooks and really looking at some more intuitive coaching, you know, and people into a group and bringing in some special thought leaders around that. And that's something that I'm really spending time of this COVID 19 like, I'm not going to eat it away or Netflix it away because I truly believe it's a lesson and a blessing for all of us. But reach out to me on Facebook. I mean, sorry, Instagram, that's my best place. And yeah, I've got some other things going behind the scenes at the moment, which, I mean, full creative mode at the moment.

So, yeah, Val, I had another question before we take off. I had another question for you for people who are maybe perhaps further along in their journey of optimizing themselves and their diets. And they've got to a point where, yeah, the diet's pretty good, but they want to get to the next level. At what point do you start to dial it in even deeper? Meaning you go do a gut test, you go and do some blood work, you go see Someone who can help you really pull out what's unique and specific for you. Because there's no like cookie cutter approach when it comes to dieting. Like, yeah, you can follow the high fat diet, keto diet, paleo, but there might be some foods in there that don't suit you or don't suit your gut. At what point do you take people into that next level and get them to go and get themselves tested? Blood work, gut testing, that kind of thing?

That's a really good question. And when I can feel that's coming up and people like, well, I need that next level, I definitely recommend go and see someone that's more experienced than me in that field. You know, go and get experience, go and get your gut health tested, go and, you know, get your blood taken. You know, go and really dive into other areas around that because there are so many different areas that suit different people. You know, you've got homeopathics and then you've got naturopaths, you've got all different Chinese medicines. Once again, I love that. Then you've got acupuncture and you've got other things. But what I would suggest, and I truly believe everyone should really be looking at the signs and symptoms. If you have Candida and I supply them, because why sugar is a majority of our food, guys? It really is. And there's different signs and symptoms of maybe an athlete's foot to someone, to always having a cough to someone always, gosh, I can't even think. But there's so many. There's about 30 different signs and you just living a life thinking, gosh, I always have a bit of a cough. So then you would go and get the cough syrup, which really is a yeast overgrown infection in your gut. So I truly believe that gut health has to be 100%. It's your second brain, it's your intuitive guide. If that is out of balance, you will make decisions and if they're out of alignment, your gut health, your decisions will be out of alignment. So number one, good gut health. Number two, go on a journey of maybe getting your blood clean. Go and start, go on a. Go and get a blood cleansing. I don't say diet, but a blood cleansing ritual. Got to have clean blood. I personally do a three day juice cleanse every month. Why? Because I want to rest and repair my body every single month. We are all exposed to different chemicals. So where can you implement maybe one day of juicing every day of the week? Do you get what I mean? And give your body a Break. Really important. There are so many different facets to health, but I truly believe that clean blood, good breath work, good gut health is essential. Essential, top of the range. Have to have good gut health. And then you've got to start thinking, well, you know, where do I go and get that tested? Educate yourself, go and get maybe a naturopath, go and do your research and then look at what supplementation or where can you do stuff from home like sauerkraut, kimchi and all of that stuff?

Yep, yep.

Does that help at all?

Yeah, big time. Definitely, Definitely. And yeah, this, as more awareness comes out now, there's a lot more places for people to go to get this stuff tested. I know there's a great company called Viome. Have you heard of Viome? They do gut testing kits that they send out to your. Yes, my girlfriend just did, did hers and it was really fascinating to see what came out of it. You know, the very detailed food recommendations on what she should avoid and what she. What are super foods for her. The fascinating thing that came out of that was like, food, even like good foods, plant food, plant based foods that are good for a lot of people weren't good for her.

Yeah.

Which is what people need to start being aware of when it comes to. Okay, yeah, if I'm just going to eat veggies. You can't just have the same veggies every single day because your gut's going to start to develop, you know, bacteria that is going to react to these, these foods. So again, that's where we can start to expand the awareness even further and dial it in even specifically to eat. What's unique to me, what's. What are the unique foods and superfoods for me.

And if you could just add on that, Jordan, is food combining. You're not food combining properly. You're like, it's like putting blacks, whites, colors in the washing machine. It just all gets tumbled up. So you want to be eating fruit on an empty tummy. Right. And getting all of those nutrients. But how many people maybe have fruit straight after a meal? Okay, what happens is you have lunch or you have a dinner and this happens around Christmas time. You know, we have a big Christmas dinner and then the fruit salad comes out. What happens is you've got all of those proteins, those starches, the carbohydrates in there and then you go and have fruit, a fruit salad. Guess what? Fruit ferments. So it sits on top of that food and it starts to ferment. Okay. And then it's trying to make its way through gas happens, your stomach explodes and all of a sudden you're like, gosh, I've got gas. My stomach's sore. So you never ever eat fruit on, you know, after a meal, always on an empty tummy or wait at least a good hour for your other proteins and carbohydrates to digest. I mean, majority of people are just having protein and carbs. I mean, the worst combo. That's a whole other subject. Do you get what I mean? And people wondering why their waistline are expanding and the gassiness and the soreness and the underlying. I don't know. I personally can't eat too many lentils and beans. I know they're good, but it's too much of a good thing for my body. It's just too explosive. So once again, we're all different. You've got to listen and love. You've got to tune in. You've got a food combined properly.

So much valuable insights, Val, and I'm seriously encouraged people to go and check you out online because your page is amazing and I'm excited to stay connected with you now that I'm back home in Perth and I'm going to see a lot more of each other, I'm sure.

Absolutely. Thank you for having me and thank you for everyone tuning in. And Jordan, I just. My heart goes out to you and the work you're doing. You really are opening people's mindset and skill set on really how to think outside the box. And, you know, I'm just so glad you were doing this because there's so many people just living in that mentality of just, you know, the 9 to 5, living in scared, living in fear and not living in a true self and not. Not deliberately living.

Appreciate it, Val. Yeah, thanks. Thanks so much for that and yeah, likewise. Right back at you. You're doing such amazing work and I just want to acknowledge you for being so brave and courageous to share your story with me and all of us here. And, yeah, you're making a big impact. So thank you. Thanks so much for joining me. We'll see you. We'll see you in the next episode. There we have it, guys. Thank you so much for joining me on this episode. Again, if you took value from this episode, you've been enjoying the podcast and you haven't subscribed already. Please jump over to itunes and subscribe and leave a comment or share this with a friend if you think someone could benefit from listening to this. And as always, just want to express my. My gratitude to you for being a part of this journey with me and being on this, this episode and really just engaging with this content. And this is during a time where we need more people to stand up and be leaders. So thank you again and we'll see you in the next episode. These are going to be coming out once a week, every Tuesday, so stay tuned. Plenty more to come.