SSP 051: Emily Strange - The Challenge of Being Sober in a Drinking Culture

Hey, what's up, guys? It's Jordan Kalish here, back with another episode of the State Shifters podcast. Thank you for joining me as always. And here we are. We're still in the midst of this coronavirus situation at the time of this recording, and I've been using this time as wisely as I can to really double down on my own practices, but at the same time, really reaching out and connecting with people and having deep conversations. And for those who know me, I speak so highly of the power and the. The benefits of having deep, meaningful conversations with the people around you. And although this is a time of isolation, it is not a time to disconnect. And I want to emphasize that, you know, now is the time to connect even more, connect with yourself even more, but reach out and connect with others using social media as a tool for that. And speaking of the connection, you know, I've opened up space in my group coaching group for four more people who, if you're someone who wants to engage in more of a connected community where we go deep and discuss things that we're facing, challenges that we're looking to overcome, but more importantly, shaping, you know, an identity that's going to be able to navigate the emotional roller coaster that life is, then shoot me a DM on Instagram and write purpose, and I'll send you more details around that group coaching program. And in terms of today's conversation, you know, I've reached out to a fellow Perth local, Emily Strange, who has been on quite a remarkable journey over the last 12 to 24 months. And Emily's story was something that really resonated with me. Growing up here in Perth, I could relate to a lot of the things that she was going through and the struggle she was going through. And I know her story is going to inspire a lot of other people, so I wanted to give her a platform to be able to share that. And I'm excited for. For you guys to listen. And if you do take something away from or if you know someone who could resonate or connect with Emily's story, please, please share this episode with him. Because that's how we really spread the love. We share information with people who could benefit. So, without further ado, enjoy the episode. If you have an insight, would love to hear from you. Much love, guys. Enjoy. Welcome to the State Shifters podcast, a show dedicated to helping you discover your true potential through connecting the mind, body and soul. Okay, Emily Strange, thank you so much for joining me on the State Shifters podcast. It's a. It's an absolute pleasure to have you with me. We're both from Perth. We're both Perth locals, and I cross paths. I'm sure we have mutual friends somewhere along the line, but we crossed paths on Instagram just recently and I read your story and your article on the Medium blog and truly was inspired and touched. I wanted to bring you onto the podcast and learn a little bit more about this journey you've been on probably over the last 12 to 24 months. And I know your story is going to resonate and touch on a lot of people, but before we dive into that, maybe you want to give us a little introduction and what you're up to right now.

Yeah, thanks for having me, Jordan. I love the work you're doing, so it's an honor to be on here with you at the moment. Isolation, currently in trackies and uggies don't even know what day it is half the time. But at the moment, I'm in the final stages of writing a memoir. So I've been writing a book to share my struggles and hopefully encourage other people to open up, which is not easy, having to dive into those painful experiences again. But it's been so therapeutic. I'm doing a meditation course, so I can eventually teach that to other people and just trying to get through isolation, but I'm loving it.

Yeah. I mean, for people listening to this right now, at the time of this recording, where we're in the middle of, you know, the COVID crisis, we're in isolation, a lot of people in quarantine. And speaking of struggles, like, this is a time when a lot of people are experiencing the depths of their own darkness or a collective darkness. And it's people like yourself who have perhaps just come out of a really intense period of, you know, facing your own inner demons, and you're really at a point now where you're ready to share this story to hopefully shed light on, you know, some really common issues that a lot of people face when it comes to dealing with their own shadow, their own wounds. And we all have our own coping mechanisms, but your coping mechanism in your case was alcohol, and it really pulled you down in a spiral. So maybe you want to tell us a little bit about how this started. Like, how did you first realize that there was a bit of a problem starting to arise or a challenge?

And that's the thing. It's such a common alcohol and drinking, and Australian society is a massive drinking culture, yet so many of us are struggling with binge drinking and that depressive mood, suicidal thinking and internally it feels like the whole world is against you when really it's actually so common and it's just so scary having to go against the norms. But basically I've always had that feeling of being different and not fitting in. And whether it was food, alcohol, toxic relationships, I was always chasing something to fill that void inside. And I was so insecure within me that I was just basically trying anything to fix that. And yeah, at first it was food. Ended up getting an eating disorder. But we'll stick to the alcohol story today. Obviously as school ended we have that pressure of having to decide what we're doing with our life. And I didn't even know who I was or what I wanted to do was in a relationship. Then going out, drinking a lot and it was just those weekends of binge drinking and I thought it was normal just drinking two early hours in the morning, waking up super hungover. And I thought the feelings of being suicidal, wanting to kill myself, not being able to be an adult for like three days, I thought that was normal. I thought that was a hangover. But as I got older I was realizing, hey, my friends don't get this sad and they're hungover, they just sort of eat junk food for the day and get on with their life. Whereas I'm there, yeah, just contemplating ending my life. Most hangovers. And it got to the point last year where I was severely depressed and I was very well aware of it. I went to the doctors and they prescribed me some antidepressant medication. And in that state you aren't going to ask if your medication is going to increase your suicidal thinking. They just prescribe this medication and off you go. It's going to be happily ever after. The following few months I realised my impulsive behaviour increased majorly. I was drinking a lot more, my suicidal thinking was a lot more frequent and there was one night in particular where I was just so angry and upset within myself. I was in Broome and I was just. I just remember crying on my floor, drinking from the wine bottle and I was feeling so lonely. So I ended up going out, thought I can't be by myself right now. But even then being surrounded by 100 so people, I felt so lonely and the thought of just like this is it, if I can't drink, if I can be surrounded by people and still feel so lonely, what is going to fix this? Like I'm done. This medication isn't working. I'm trying to exercise. I have a full time job, family that love me. Why am I so sad. And in that state, you don't really think about anything else but yourself. Alcoholism is a very selfish, ego driven disease. So that night I drove home and grabbed my medication, drove in blackout to the beach, took all of my tablets and police found me in the early hours of the morning on Cable Beach. I was rushed to hospital and yeah, that was really hard. Waking up in hospital that morning, I didn't really have much memory of what had happened, but just seeing my sister's face just absolutely broke me. And I could see how scared she was. And I knew that my only option was to stop drinking. I didn't really have anything left in me to fight, but it was sort of that deeper knowing that there is another life out there. I don't have to live this way. And it's like sounds a bit cringe, but like that soul whisper. And so I didn't really know what was going to happen. But I left hospital that day and sort of just carried on and didn't really go back to work for a few weeks. But I started doing life coaching, working with a life coach, which really helped. And for the first two months of sobriety, it was sort of I quit because I thought I had to, something was wrong with me. And it was then two months later, my life coach said, well, why don't you just be a moderate drinker and be a moderate drinker for five years? And I thought, oh my God, okay, if my life coach says that I can be a moderate drinker, then I so can. And what do I do? I go to be a moderate drinker and one drink turns into five drinks and I feel very quickly back into the trap of drinking. And it's not just one night, it's every single weekend for a good few weeks. And I don't go to work. I'm this very nasty, controlling person to be around. I'm just completely opposite of who I know I am. And the way they describe it in the recovery program is cunning, baffling and powerful. And that's what it was. I was trying to chase a power, but I was completely powerless over alcohol. And so, yeah, I fell back and relapsed. I was then listening to a podcast and they spoke about this recovery program and I was like, I've never heard of this. And I found a meeting and I went to it and for the first time ever, that's where I felt a huge sense of relief that, wow, I'm not the only person suffering from this. It was, it was quite hard to relate though, because the people in the meeting, one guy was about 60 and he had 30 years of sobriety. The other two were probably about in their 40s and they had nine years sobriety. And even though we were all completely different people, we all had that one common thing that we were completely powerless over alcohol and our life was unmanageable. And so it was my first glimpse of hope. But again, I felt like I was the only 23 year old in Australia not drinking. It was a very lonely phase of my life and I went away from the recovery program, tried to do things my way again, trying to control what I was doing. And yeah, I had a night, I'm coming up to eight weeks sober now. I had a night back in February where I really hurt someone that I care a lot about and my alcohol really turned me into this nasty person and that was it. I never want to be that person again. And I basically just surrendered then and there. And I've been in recovery ever since. I'm working the steps, I've got a sponsor and this time it's so different. I'm actually relying on a power higher than myself and I'm choosing to be sober. It's not something now where I have to be sober. It's something my life basically depends on sobriety. And I have felt so much peace since making that decision. And yeah, I just really want people to know that they aren't alone in this and it's okay to go against the norm.

I feel you. Thank you for sharing that.

That's okay.

Offline, it does take a lot of courage to share a story where we've experienced a lot of, a lot of pain. So I want to acknowledge you for being able to share that with me. And the reason why your story resonated a lot with me was because, you know, as someone who's also grown up in Australia, you know, I understand the drinking culture out here and pressure of it. Yeah. And what I admire the most about you is the fact that you've come out a young female, which we usually hear these stories from older, later in their life and we rarely hear it from someone younger. Admit, look, I had a drinking problem and it pulled me down because like you said, it's normalized. Growing up as a young 20 something year old kid in Australia, this is.

A prime time to be partying.

Exactly. And I remember when, when I was growing up, 18, 19, 20, every weekend just smashing alcohol down, remember ridiculous amounts like binge drinking, having vodka, four Red Bulls in a night with polishing vodka. And I Look back on it now and thought that was a problem, that was a serious health concern that I do remember as well, waking up.

But it's normal.

Hey, it's normal. Yeah. Because everyone else is doing it.

Yeah.

So what you're doing here is you're shedding light on a really big problem that's going around right now because it's. It's not normal. It shouldn't be.

I don't think people like to admit that it's not normal either.

And, you know, we say alcohol because I've just come back from Canada and I've observed since arriving back in Australia, our when we fall back on is alcohol.

Like, everyone seems to drink every occasion.

Every occasion. Most people, yeah, they struggle to have a good time without having a drink. And I'm sure people who are listening to this, whether you're in Australia, North America, wherever, we all have our coping mechanism thing we fall back on. For some people, it's work. Some people just obsessed over. They stay busy all the time and keep working. And that's what I noticed. It was in Toronto. Everyone has this busy mentality where they got to stay busy all the time.

Because if they're left alone, we're so scared of ourselves.

Exactly, exactly. So, you know, to come out now and admit that, yeah, alcohol was something you were using to hide from an emotional pain, or like you said, a void that was in there that you were trying to find something outside of you to fill this void. And eventually you run out of options. You're like, this is, you know, I've tried everything. Why? Why?

We're forgotten as a society, how to go out and actually mingle with each other just for who we are. It's like we have to put. I think of alcohol as like protection around who we are. It's like we're scared to really show who we are and be seen 100%. Now I'm having to relearn how to do that. And even going out, it's a good time to be sober because we can't go out. But I did do New Year sober this year, and I had an emotional hangover the next day. Because you're against all these people who are drinking and on drugs and they have so much energy and you have to try uphold that. And it's draining. It really is draining sometimes.

Emily, I'll be honest with you. I just got back in December, mid December. I got back from Canada after being away for a couple of years and I went out for the first time on New Year's Eve here in, here in Australia. And I was sober as well, when I was sober. And I was honestly a little bit traumatized by what I experienced. Just seeing the state that other people around me were in. And I thought to myself, damn, if I was a tourist or someone visiting this country, seeing how obliterated these people were at this event, it was traumatizing for me. And it really, it got me thinking. It's like, wow, why do I ever.

Want to go out?

Yeah. Was I that person 3 years ago just stumbling around?

We were senseless.

Yeah. So I know if people are listening to this, I know we've all we know of someone or we've experienced alcohol abuse in our life because alcohol, you know, is sort of is the main drug out there right now. And what I, what my intention is to help people see that underneath the alcohol abuse is a part of us that's seeking love and connection. And the minute you often notice a lot, a lot of the quiet people who will have a few drinks, all of a sudden they're nice and loud and they're expressive, it's because they then feel comfortable sharing who they truly are.

Because there's like temporarily.

Correct. Yeah. There's layers that these identities that stop us from really being our true self because we're afraid we're gonna get judged. We're afraid we're not gonna be seen as worthy of love. So it is, it is sort of an unraveling process when you stop drinking. I'm sure you've noticed a lot of your insecurities, anxieties will come to the surface, especially in social. In social settings. I'm curious to know what have you noticed come up for you throughout this sober process? And congratulations on being eight weeks sober. That's amazing. What have you noticed come up maybe in some social settings or events or family events that you've attended where people, other people are drinking and now you're not.

Yeah, it's my first attempt at sobriety. I honestly hated it. I found it extremely difficult. And one thing I've learned is it so depends who you are around. And I've really had a change of friendships and people I hang around since being sober. The people who are my true friends, they completely get it and they never force me to drink. They always have drinks ready that are non alcoholic and I love them so much for that. But in Broome, there were times where I was going out and people knew how important not drinking was for me and I wasn't strong enough at that stage to be confident. In who I was and what I was doing because it was all very new and I wasn't drinking at that stage because I thought, this is just temporary, I'm going to be a normal drinker soon. And I was probably about two months over in Broome and we were going out and I was adamant on not drinking. I was getting so much crap from people for being boring, not wanting to drink and what do I know, 15 minutes later I'm doing shots. So I found that really hard at the start. But I'm having a completely different experience now and just like anything in life, it's a journey. And yeah, I've just been growing and learning through it and now I'm just becoming so confident in this new life that I want. That alcohol just doesn't even exist in this life and it doesn't even faze me. And in recovery, I am so lucky that the obsession for alcohol was removed very quickly. A lot of people, a lot of alcoholics really struggle with that, that obsession that needing to pick up a drink and not being okay with their emotions. And for a few weeks, I admit in isolation, I was turning to food to fill that void. But yeah, it's just really about asking yourself empowering questions like, is this the person I want to be? And there have been times during socialising where I have felt a bit uncomfortable with people drinking. But then I just have to turn that away from my ego and be of service so, you know, see if they need help with the dishes or cleaning up. And it's sort of like distracting myself from that ego driven mind and also removing myself from feeling uncomfortable. So yeah, it's about more how can I be of service to people and the focus is taken away from me. Like I said, it's a very selfish disease and it's very ego driven. And you think it's all about me. Like it's either like, this is so depressing or look at me like I'm so great. Whereas now in sobriety I'm learning we're actually all equals and we're here to like empower each other, not compete. And I think that's why I'm so passionate about sharing my story, because we all get on like our high horses and just try to be better than each other and it's like, let's just help each other.

It seems like you're going through some really rapid growth.

Sometimes I can't keep up. I'm like, whoa, slow down a bit.

And could you pinpoint it down to what is the core wound that's coming up. Or core unprocessed emotion that is coming up throughout this sobriety process. Because, you know, sometimes we resort to alcohol to mask us having to feel the pain of maybe not feeling good enough, not feeling worthy.

Oh, yeah. It's like a mixture of everything, basically. Like, it's like black and white. Alcoholism is black and white. It's either. It's just one extreme to the other. There's no in between. And I think that's what I'm struggling with. I rang my sponsor today, and I was like, is it normal to be feeling okay today? I was out in the sun, and I was just so at peace. I was like, I'm not used to that feeling at all. It's either, like, really, really happy or really, really sad. And now it's just contentment. And the thing that is coming up is that lack of self worth and needing validation and that lack of connection. But the biggest thing about recovery and sobriety is being connected to, like, this. They call it the sunlight of the spirit. So putting our faith into the universe, our power higher than ourselves or God, whatever it is to you, rather than relying on other people and external things. And it's really comforting knowing that there is a power greater than ourselves. And it's only when I've turned my will to that that I've been able to stay sober and find peace.

Well, yeah, again, same with me. Everything changed when I touched on, like, my own spirituality. What was it that I believe that was greater than me, that I could have faith and trust in that? Once you kind of turn your life into a spiritual journey, you realize that you're a spiritual being having a human experience. You can kind of step back a little bit from all these patterns and all these behaviors that disconnect you from the unity, the oneness.

Like you said before, it's like, I try to think like, you become the observer of your life and, like, doing life on life's terms rather than constantly trying to control everything. And I was always letting other people upset me, and it was always their fault, and everything was unfair. The world's against me. And now it's just sort of living in acceptance, like, being okay with what's happening right now. And I'm so passionate as well about sharing that spiritual side, because again, there's that ideal that spiritual living is hippies and fairies and go smoke weed, when really it's just about finding that peace within you and being able to sit in stillness and, yeah, stop fighting what's going on.

Well said. Well, Said for a lot of people who perhaps struggling with an addiction of one, one form and the addiction doesn't just have to be alcohol, the addiction could be anything. Addiction could be to food, could be to social media, watching tv, gossiping, smoking, whatever the addiction is now, I'm sure so many addictions are coming out, especially now. Yeah. Would you say the first step is sort of acknowledging that yes, I'm addicted, I have a coping mechanism, I'm running from something.

Yeah.

Because without that acknowledgement, you kind of, you're in denial a little bit. And then, and then. And the addiction has control of you.

Yeah. It's like you're, you know, you're addicted to something but you're allowing it to keep happening. And I think so many people struggle with that. They think they're not in control and to some degree they're not. But it's when they admit that they are struggling, that they do have this problem, they can take their power back. And what I realized and I tried for years to do this, I thought someone could fix me. And I was trying all these different things and it's only when I admitted that I needed help and I owned up, I took responsibility, I had to fix myself, I had to do the work. I have to get up at 5am if that's what it takes and meditate and go for a run and I'm not going to get better just by sitting here, if that makes sense.

In your opinion, how could someone determine if they do have an addiction or if they are relying on something outside of them?

Yeah. What I've learned in recovery is you can only self diagnose. And I think if you are addicted to something and it's causing you anxiety and problems, then there's no doubt you're addicted. And I heard something. If you can't go longer than three days without something, then you're addicted. And even if it's on your mind thinking, oh, I want to stop this, I want to cut it down, there's a very high chance you're addicted.

Yeah. It's funny you should say that. You know, at the moment I'm in the back end of a three day sugar cleanse. Like I've cut out sugar for three days. I noticed there was like a lot of sugar just creeping into my life. And I tried to do it with my parents as well and I didn't make it. My dad didn't make it. He pulled out, he's like, oh no, I can't do it, can't do it, couldn't last three days without sugar. That's an addiction.

That's the thing, though. Like, none of us are perfect. And I did the juice cleanse that. Valerie often talks about the pressed protein, and it was amazing. And I thought, okay, after this, I'm not having caffeine ever again. And literally, I've had coffee every day since. And that's the thing about, like, life recovery, whatever it is you're going through, it's about aiming for spiritual progress, not perfection. Because none of us are perfect.

I love that.

Yeah. And it really takes away that pressure big time. And just, yeah, accepting, okay, this is what's happening right now. And stop dwelling about it, just accepting it. Acceptance is a big, big thing.

So if someone acknowledges they have an addiction, whether it be just smoking, drinking, food, sugar, whatever, they go, right, I have an addiction. I want to remove this addiction from my life. Do they go cold turkey and just, like, remove it? Like, I'm done. I'm done with smoking. I'm done with alcohol. And they just try and stop completely, or do you suggest people start to maybe wean off it a little bit and start to experiment with what comes up when they take breaks from.

Yeah. I can only speak from experience with alcoholism, and what I've learned about that emotional nature is I can't do it on my own. I can't abstain. I can't abstinence with my own self will because basically I've been trying to do this for years and it hasn't worked. It's only when I've acknowledged that I'm powerless and I've connected with people who get it and start opening up and being brutally honest. You aren't going to get better if you can't get honest with yourself. Like, you have to call yourself out on your own bullshit. And so it depends what it is. For alcohol, there is recovery groups, and so much power comes from talking with people who get it. And for the first time ever, I don't feel lonely. I feel so connected to people, so connected to myself, to my higher power. Yeah, you can't do it alone, basically. And that's the main thing. Like, it's okay to admit you're not okay, because that's how you're going to.

Get better 100% the minute you take ownership and responsibility and admit, yep, okay, I'm struggling here. I need the next step in the world.

It's so scary. Yeah, so scary.

100%. Oftentimes, especially for men, you know, I won't generalize, but mainly men struggle asking for help. You know, I've noticed in what I've observed, because that mask of masculinity that men sometimes wear admit, like, alcohol, is sort of like that sign of, oh, I'm good. I don't need help. But underneath that, there usually is a painful, scared child in there that just wants love and attention.

And I think it's so important. That's why we have to have these conversations. Because I find that there's a huge gap between admitting something's wrong and we need help and actually getting help. There needs to be something in between. And I wish I had the answer. But I think what we're doing, sharing our struggles, is gonna be a stepping stone to building that bridge. Because the medical world and doctors, as they're trying their best, but they can only go off research and the clinical side of things. It doesn't take into account our mind, body, and spirit. It's just. This is one way.

Correct. Yeah. The kind of the diagnosis from doctors is here, you have a problem, you have depression, take these drugs. But that's only addressing the symptoms, and.

It'S not getting to those underlying causes.

Yeah. And there's nothing against. The doctors are doing the best they can. Physicians and health experts are doing the best they can by the book. But sometimes by the book, right now isn't giving us the underlying, like, getting us to the truth.

Especially right now, like, with what's going on in life. I feel that this is actually gonna have profound shifts for the way we live. I hope so, anyway.

Yep.

And really. Yeah. Telling people to slow the F down and look within. I think everyone has needed this, and I say that carefully because I know that a lot of people have died from this. But that's where we have the opportunity to make the best out of a worse situation and do the things that we finally want to do, Be the person that we know we can be and just admitting that we're not okay and doing the things that we know we need to do to be okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Totally agree. I'm curious to know, has there been a practice or something you've adopted along this process that has given you a sense of connection or has allowed you to kind of move through the pain a little. A little easier? What has. Yeah. What has maybe given you the most support along this journey? A specific practice, book, technique? Yeah.

There's probably four main things that have helped me, and they all sort of. If I don't do one without the other, it doesn't really work. I sort of need a balance and that's the same with life in general. You need a balance of things. So at the moment I wake up and I do a meditation, I love that you meditate for an hour. But again, I was sharing all these meditation tips and I was like, well, I'm not even doing it myself. So I've really had to go back to basics again. And I've sort of taken a few steps back in my meditation journey. I'm only back to meditating for 10 minutes because I really lost that concentration and the ability to focus. But yeah, sitting down, allowing myself to be in stillness has really helped me become the observer of my thoughts rather than reacting on them and having this real calming sense of peace within me. And I still get really emotional, I still have breakdowns every week. But meditation is helping me just realize that this too shall pass. And I have that tool to. If I do have the ability to just zone out for a minute, I know that I can go sit in stillness. Another one would be calling people who get it. So my people in recovery, even friends, like just having that pause in between what I'm about to do. So say if it's I want to go pick up a drink or go binge on chocolate or go do something stupid, I don't know, whatever it is, I always find something. Picking up the phone and calling someone I trust and someone who gets it has helped a lot. And more often than not they will say something. And it's a message that I needed to hear, but I didn't even know I needed to hear. And it takes away that ego and that self driven mind. Another one is exercise. Moving my body every day. And even that I'm so bad at adapting to change. And I think we all struggle to adapt to change. My exercise has been so out of whack during this isolation. And yeah, that alone is just sometimes gets you angry. But I've been, I've just been trying to do what I can. So I've been stretching and getting down to the beach out in nature most days. That really helps. Being near the water or out in open space. And another one is journaling. I find that writing down my thoughts, especially in an emotional state, it sort of takes it out of my head, puts it onto paper and it's like I can just read it and observe it and I don't often read it again. It's just like offloading if I don't feel that I can tell someone about it. And I've even started practicing writing a letter to God and whatever that is. To someone. The universe. Yeah. And I've been doing that most mornings. And it's actually from a book called the Path to Wealth. Have you heard of that one?

No.

It's really good. And it's Seven Spiritual Steps to Financial Wealth. And it's about having this gratitude letter practice where you write a letter, you thank the universe for three things you're grateful for now because it's really important with manifestation and stuff to be in the moment as well. So being grateful for what we do have right now. And then in the letter, you write three things you're wanting or trying to call in, but you write it in the sense that you've already got it, and then you just sort of let it go and get on with your day. And it's just a really nice way of connecting with your higher power. And it's sort of like, I know when you're a little kid and you believe in Santa or something, it's like bit of a fairy tale, bit of magic. So they're probably the four main things that help me at the moment.

Yeah. Wow. I completely resonate with all of them. I find it's sort of like a toolkit. You know, I find myself whenever I'm going through a rough day or some emotions are coming up that, you know, I'm in resistance to. I look at my toolkit and I go, okay, what do I need?

What do I use today?

Yeah, I need right now. And some days I will meditate. I will. You know, I'll go out in nature. I'll go for a walk. I'll do all the right things. And I'm still like, fuck. I'm still not. I still feel off. I feel off today. I don't know. I don't know what it is. And in those days, my. The thing that I'm learning is it's okay.

Yeah, everyone.

Okay to have shit days.

Yeah.

You know, and I'm. I'm someone who's very. I get very hard on myself to have that tendency. One of my patterns is to just like, think that I'm not doing enough. I should be working harder.

Perfectionism.

Yeah. Yeah. And, yeah, sort of my lesson in that is, you know, especially during this quarantine period when we're in isolation, like you said, exercise has been a big challenge for a lot of people right now, and I'm finding some struggles with that. So. And just acknowledging that, yeah, look, we're going to have ups, we're going to have downs, and it's a part of the human experience. And sometimes you can think you're doing all the right things and still just feel off for no apparent reason.

Yeah. For people listening who are probably in there like with an addiction right now. I just want to tell people we're not talking about this to overwhelm them. It's just about implementing small things every day rather than trying to drastically change your life overnight. That's something. I used to think that, my God, I have to make my life perfect now that I've admitted that I'm not okay. And you sort of expect things to happen overnight, but it's not, it's a very slow process. So that's where you need a lot of patience and compassion for yourself.

Definitely. And momentum is a powerful thing. Like once you make a small little commitment to yourself, whether it be journaling for five minutes or just a 10 minute meditation every day, that's small. And once you gather that momentum, it's. It's really powerful. You know, you start to move the needle forward a little bit. You start to notice a shift in how you're feeling and you get those.

Little moments where you're like, wow, my life is actually changing. Yeah, I feel good.

Exactly. And you know, I've noticed at times where the better you get at that self awareness piece, checking in with, okay, what about what do I need right now? And sometimes, you know, I'll notice if I haven't exercised during the day, I could have meditated, I've got a journaled and done all the right things, but if I haven't moved my body, I don't feel my best. Simple. And then I give my body that piece of movement and I'm like, wow, there, there it is, I'm back. You know, so it's important to find that, that nice balance of just like knowing what it is that your body needs.

And all the time it's find it's not looking at what you're doing, it's looking at what you're not doing. That's how I'm getting through my recovery. Because you could be doing a lot of things, but it could just be that one thing you're not doing. Yeah, Having that perspective has really like opened my eyes and thought, okay, it's not that hard. I just need to do this one thing today.

Really good point. And yeah, I'll create an invitation for people who are listening, you know, to do that. Really take the time to think about, okay, what am I not doing right now? Maybe we're at home watching TV or we're just taking the Time to chill because we can't go to work. But, like, what are the things that we're not doing right now that if we inserted it into our day, regardless of how much time we have at home, if we started to do these one little things, whether it meditate for 10 minutes, what would the impact be on how we feel and the decisions we make going forward from that one decision? So, yeah, I would invite people to reflect on that.

And it really looking at it that way, it takes a lot of the pressure off to make those small changes, and it makes it very doable, like living a spiritual life. The most spiritual thing I have ever done is learn to love myself. It's a very practical thing to do. And I think often people get mistaken that living spiritually is meditating for two hours a day or writing 100 pages of journal stuff every day. But it's. Yeah, it's just little practices that help you to love yourself.

Great point. Great point, Emily. Like, you've shared a lot of wisdom in this episode and I know it.

Did go a bit off track. I'm sorry.

No, no. Yeah, this has been. This has been perfect because I know the right people. Like, the greatest thing about sharing content and sharing your story, whether it be on social media or podcasts, the right person always somehow finds it. Right person will always find exactly what they need to hear.

Yeah.

Yeah. So I have complete faith and trust that this interview or this recording will be received by someone who need that last little push. So I just want to thank you for being courageous and really showing up and sharing with me what you've learned along this journey as you continue to evolve into the best version of yourself, as we all are. None of us are perfect, but we're.

Doing our all in this together.

Exactly 100%, mate. Is there anything you wanted to leave people with before we wrap things up?

No, not really. I just want people to start opening up and be confident in who you are, because there's only one you, and that is your power.

Love it. And where can people connect with you online? You're on Instagram.

I know that I'm on Instagram. It's Emily. E M I L Y Y Strange. S T R A N G underscore. And my blog is on there as.

Well, I think, and I highly suggest and encourage people to read that. It was a very powerful read. So, em, thanks so much for joining me.

Cool. Thanks, Jordan. Enjoy the rest of your day.

Hey, there we have it, guys. Thanks so much for listening to this episode. And yeah, look if you made it this far. Cool. Here's my voice again in Yuria and I'm gonna make one more request for you is go ahead and subscribe and leave a comment on the podcast page because I'm really putting a lot of focus and attention on getting this podcast out to more people because I know what I'm putting in here can serve and bring value to people. And it would mean a lot if you got value from this to leave some feedback and subscribe. So you stay up to date with what's coming up and as always, follow me on Instagram and love hearing from you. It's eight shifters until the next episode. Guys, thank you so much and I appreciate you.