SSP 062: Melissa Salaman - The Secrets to Making Your Business Successful Online

Guys, welcome back to the State Shifters podcast. It's a real honor to have you on the show. It really is. And, you know, this podcast is something that I'm really committed to bringing you guys more of the insights and awareness and skills and understandings you need to really be able to come out the other end of this time of uncertainty, a stronger, wiser, more, more capable human being. And I feel like that's what's coming into our. Into our world right now, is a challenge to help us understand who it is we need to become so that we can lead ourselves into the new world, into the new earth. That's all it is. Like, I don't really harp on too much about what's going down in global circumstances right now, but what I do harp on about is what's going on inside of us, because what's going on outside of us is a reflection of what's going on in the inside. And in today's episode, I wanted to bring on a guest by the name of Melissa Salomon. She is a former flight attendant, now online business founder. She is managing a team of thousands. Like, she. She really cracked the game when it came to marketing her business online. And she really is a voice for. For females who want to step out into the online space and make some money online. And we really discussed what it takes, like, what does it take if you want to start to share your message online and you want to start to build an audience and just connect with people to start to really speak your truth, which I do believe now is the time, you know, if you feel like you're doing the inner work, you're listening to this podcast. I want to see your insights, share them. Like, it's time to share. It's time to stand up and be seen. So Mel and I talk about kind of what. What's kind of required, what internal shifts you can make to really gather the courage to want to speak your truth online, and. And what benefits come along with that. So I invite you check Mel out online. Her page is really awesome. The way she shares is so authentic and genuine. The Instagram page is Elissa Underscore Salomon, and you can check her out on Facebook too. But without further ado, enjoy the episode, guys. Welcome to the State Shifters Podcast, a show dedicated to helping you discover your true potential through connecting the mind, body and soul. Melissa Salomon, welcome to the State Shifters Podcast. It's an absolute pleasure to have you on here with me, mates. And you're calling in from Florida, the Sunny Part of the world and calling in from the other side of the world here in Australia. But it's really pleasure to have you on the call, mate. How are you today?

I'm doing so good. Thank you so much for having me.

Yeah, I'm excited to dive into this conversation with you because really cross paths with you online and really when I, when I do these podcast guest connections, I'm really just intuitively feeling if there would be a good synergy or an alignment with energy, you know, meaning like what you're putting out on social media. We jumped on a call and had a, had a conversation. I really just vibed with, you know, the way you're showing up in the world and the way you're choosing to live your life. And I guess for people who right now are maybe still in lockdown at the time of this recording, we're still in the midst of a lot of lockdowns for most countries and people are starting to look to other ways in which they can get out and connect with people and really show up online in a powerful way or even start their own businesses online. And you're someone who's been able to do that. Probably starting about six years ago, you've ventured into the online space and really established yourself as a leader. Right. So maybe you want to give us a bit of background around how you're able to start off your career in online business and where you're at now with all of that.

Yes, absolutely. Happy to. Thanks so much. So I am somebody that did not necessarily seek out an online business. I was a busy mom, flight attendant. I had a. Gosh, I had a new baby at home. I had a 2 year old. Would say that the timing was not right, but I was, I kind of had something fall into my lap. And as a flight attendant, I feel like I absolutely love and loved my job. I currently give away most of my flying these days. I've been a flight attendant for over 20 years now. But the one thing that I didn't realize was so important was that I really lacked being able to change people's lives and I really lacked being able to help others in a way that felt really good, you know. So as a flight attendant, you know, you have the little mini rewards of maybe helping an elderly passenger or helping someone with a baby. But I really wasn't changing lives or really doing anything super rewarding while I'm still so, so incredibly grateful for that career and thankful it brought me, my husband and most of my friends most amazing things in my life. Being able to do something rewarding is something that I didn't really even realize I was missing. So something fell into my lap. I started it. I have learned so much over the years. I was someone who did not one picture of myself on social media, so I only had pictures of my kids. I was not somebody that was necessarily seeking out anything like that. But I decided, you know, if I'm going to put my name out here, if I'm going to put myself out here, I'm just going to go all in and I'm going to try my best. And I look back now and a lot of it was incredibly cringy, but I really am glad that I just went for it. And it's been a huge blessing in my life. I was able to replace my income and then replace my husband's income and then just really help so many others do the same. And that part has been really cool. I realized that there are a lot of women in this world that are living without and are doing without and are unable to make choices due to lack of finances. And I feel like helping women make money is something I'm very passionate about. And helping them make it from home is ideal. Being that a lot, you know, a lot of us are mothers and we're busy and being able to do something from home is so ideal. So I'm very passionate about helping women make money because honestly, I find that money just allows you to do more of the things that you love with the people that you love, and that is why it's so valuable to me.

Yeah, well said, Mel. And I really resonate with that. I know, you know, I know a lot of women who I've coached in the past or spent time with who, you know, they're at home and they're trying to find ways now to make some extra money. Right. Because their husband can't go to work anymore or times are getting tough. And I guess one of the main limiting beliefs that kind of come up, you know, for people at home or men as well, who are looking to start business online is like, okay, you know, like, if we've never posted on social media before or if the business requires us to be more present online, like, how do we start to develop the courage to do that or start to share more things online. So maybe give us a bit of understanding or background around what internal shifts you had to make to allow you to be able to show up in a way that gave you this sense of leadership that allowed your business to kind of flourish.

I think the first thing is making a decision. And that decision has to be so concrete and you have to really visualize the future. So something like your podcast is just so great because it really helps you figure out what you want in your life and really focus. And so during times of like an online business, it's not all sunshine and butterflies and rainbows. It is hard. And one of the hardest things is going to be putting yourself out there. So if your mindset is not in the right place, then it's going to be extremely hard to get the skills needed. So you really want to focus on mindset first and skill set second. So just get your head straight. And what I really like to do is I have people visualize their life five years from now. And what would that look like if you were making an income from home? And I really try to help them break that down even further by looking at it like, would you have less conflict in your home? Would things be easier in your family? What kind of things would you no longer have to say no to? What kind of problems could be alleviated due to you bringing in this income? I also like to look at it. It's not just money too, right? Like when you do something like this, a business like this, and you put yourself out there, it really helps you develop so many skills, how to talk to people, how to. It really helps you create relationships. I can't even tell you how much I value my online friendships right now. It feels a little nerdy in some degree. But having all my friends live on the computer is so valuable now, especially with what we're going through. So it's not just money, it's about creating a culture, having a group of people that have a common goal. And I like to teach people to focus on how can we solve problems today, how can we help people today? And I think about it like this too. If you have something so valuable and you know that this valuable thing could change someone's life, it could help them in some way. Instead of looking at it like, how will this benefit me? I can make money from this. But instead of looking at like that, think about how will it benefit them? And when your mindset starts getting in kind of a crappy place, maybe you posted something, maybe people aren't really receptive to it, or you don't really get any traction, or you're just feeling super self conscious, think about that. There might be someone out there that is crying themselves to sleep at night because they want what you have to offer. And when you shift your mindset to that instead of this is helping me, this is helping me make money. Instead of looking at like that, I feel like that really helps you get through those hard times.

Yeah, definitely, definitely resonate with that. And you know, when it comes to putting content out there, like I know that you know, the minute you share an insight, share a lesson, someone who need to hear that post or need to, need to see, read that post or hear that podcast, and that's what really to create the momentum when you see people getting value from what you're putting in. When it comes to like the business side of things. For people who are unsure of like what business do I want to go for right now, there's a time where there's a lot of opportunities available around not having to start your own business, but also leveraging a business structure that's already in place and supporting a network or building relationships to allow you to be able to solve problems that you know, perhaps there's already products wouldn't have to reinvent the wheel, so to speak. So from that I understand, I'm taking that one of the main skills that you can develop is relationship build. And when it comes to relationship building online, because more people are online, you know, every single day now, there's, there's more opportunities. So when it comes to the relationship building component online, what are some ways in which you've done that? Because I know some people, even though some people are online, they still feel really isolated and lonely online. What are some ways in which you've found you've been able to connect on social media?

Oh yeah. I love talking about this because it's so important to me. I feel like people often get this wrong and they focus on their content and they focus on what they are posting and they focus on how they look and they focus on their aesthetic and they, they focus on all these things. But honestly, the most important thing that you can do is focus on how you make people feel. I always tell my team that your comments are more important than your contents because people want to be made feel special and people want to know that you care. And you know when you can show them that you care about them, not only you're just bringing a positive energy to everything that you do, but when you do it in a way that's authentic and you're doing it to just truly lead with love and bring value and be a thoughtful person, be somebody that cares about others that comes back to you. And when you do it with absolutely no motive other than to be someone that is a Good person. It really does. It comes back. One thing that I feel like that probably helped me so much when I started my business is like I told you before, I had no pictures on social media. I really didn't post much at all. But I always had commented and I do think that gave me a huge leg up. One thing, you know, my specialty is more Facebook. I'm 40, so the Instagram thing is still a little harder for me. I'm trying to get a little bit better about it and learn. Because also that's part of being somebody that's good at business is even though something may not be comfortable, just being willing to Google it, figure it out. I always joke and say, I went to Google University. Yes, it's not natural for me, but I will figure it out. So but for me on Facebook, which I would say would be my specialty would be really just learning the algorithm and learning that if you are just somebody that's just posting content, you're not going to get seen. And so I really try hard to comment on people, interact with their stories. I send a lot of private messages. I try to send things that are thoughtful and different and that helps me then get seen. So another thing I do is I use interactive posts. So for example, you know, I. Some of them are so silly. I will post, you know, two outfits, right? And I'll ask people to pick which one is their favorite. Or I will ask people, you know, when, what was the first concert that you went to or what was the first movie that you went to. These types of posts honestly have so many people that want to answer them. And what that does, though, is it will say to Facebook, oh, guess what? This person likes her and this person wants to see her post. So then when I do a business post, people will see it. So my, my thing is I usually do 90% other stuff and then maybe like 10% business, right? Or a sales. But then I always try with sales. How can you do it in a way where you're solving problems and how can you do it in a way that it's sharing? So I like to teach sharing, not selling. So we all sell every day, right? We check into our restaurant, something like that. We are sharing. But when you sell, you use sometimes icky wording. Click here, buy here, link to purchase in comments. It's like ditch all that and just share. Just share what you love, just like you would with a friend.

I love how you're speaking to your Facebook audience like they're just your big group of friends, which they are, but we kind of forget that sometimes, like if we have a, ask our friends these thought provoking questions, like it really stimulates, you know, stimulates connection. And that's what, that's what Facebook, that's what these social media channels want. And that's what they're for mainly is for us to connect. And when you treat it like the way you are, you know, you're just encouraging people to engage. And I think people will be surprised. Like when you go onto Facebook, you know, people probably have a lot of connections or friend, you don't need a lot of friends on there, to be honest. But the minute you start opening the channels of communication and you're saying, hey, I'm here, let's connect, let's open up, people are actually looking for that, you know. So I definitely agree with what you just said there. And when it comes to like for you now sharing content or say perhaps someone has a Facebook or an Instagram page and you know, they don't really post that often, they kind of just share like every now and then, family, staff or, you know, any other general things they talk about. But if they're ready to start to share more about things they're passionate about, I know how scary that can be because I remember for me when I first started sharing the content that I'm doing now, I was very like nervous to and worried about what my friends were gonna think of me as I started to share more of the topics I was inspired by and passionate about. Do you have any advice for people who maybe want to start to, you know, step out and be a little bit more vulnerable online or share a post that they're, they're really passionate about? Like what, what was the kind of main voice in your head that got in the way and how did you overcome it?

Yeah, I love that. I think that the main thing is, like I said before, making the decision to get uncomfortable, knowing that you're going to be uncomfortable, acknowledging that you're going to be uncomfortable and realizing that there's no way to shortcut, getting better at it. Like there's always a there. You are going to go through a growth phase with this and there's just no way to shortcut that. You can try really hard, but what you'll end up doing is if you're just constantly learning and learning and learning and you're not just doing, you're never going to get ahead. So sometimes you just got to do it. Rip the band aid off and do it a little messy and you'll Realize that it'll get better as you go. And realize that the way to get people to pay attention to what you're doing online is to not stop. And don't get discouraged if you don't get a lot of comments or maybe you do have someone that's. That has a negative comment. You know, it's funny. When I first started my business, I remember pretty close friend of mine telling me, you know, I'm going to hide you on Facebook. And my feelings were so hurt because I was like, wow, like, I'm over here, like, working my butt off. And I just felt like I was doing really trying hard and doing a good job, and it really hurt my feelings. But it's funny because now that same friend is like my number one supporter. And do you know why? It's because he saw me crush it. And there's no more shade anymore. There's no more haters anymore because they've seen how it's changed our life. They have seen the blessings that it has brought us, and they've seen how we've been able to bless others and help people. And that is. That is what you have to do to really get over that is to just keep going. And when you feel a little discouraged, just. Just keep doing it. It's not. I don't know that that's very helpful, but really it is. It's just about keep on keeping on.

I feel you. I feel you. And for me, Mel, one of the things I noticed with. With this as well, when it came to showing up online more consistently, which is what you're referring to, and you know, sounds easy. You know what I mean? Like, this is why it is a challenge for a lot of people, because people like yourself, you've been able to master that skill of showing up consistently online, which takes a lot of courage. And I remember for me, when I first started this, I remember very shy growing up, and one of my behavior patterns of survival patterns was to hide, to not want to be seen. And I get the sense a lot of people, you know, feel like that as well. And my. And where this stemmed from for me was some suppressed shame that happened to me growing up where, you know, I was told off for standing out or someone put me down or judged me growing up. And this suppressed shame resulted in me, like, really hiding. And I felt really, you know, afraid of being vulnerable online. So every time I go to post something, it was like this, you know, felt like life or death. I was really starting to get really freaked out of worrying about what People are going to think about me. And every time I leaned into this feeling of discomfort and noticed this sensation come up in my body, what I realized was it was actually an opportunity to heal and integrate, you know, some of these suppressed emotions that were down there that I'd been, you know, hiding from that I didn't want to face. So I feel the real invitation there for someone who is afraid to share, share something online, to show up online, to put a post out that's vulnerable. And if there's a lot of fear inside of you of doing that, then perhaps there's an opportunity down there to integrate a younger part of yourself that maybe feels unworthy or not good enough because they got shamed in the past. And then every time you feel that emotion come up, can you observe it? Acknowledge that there might be some pain and resistance there initially, but know that every time you observe that and lean into, lean into that discomfort and be a space for yourself, Put the post out, notice what comes up. Love that feeling. What happens is, which is what happened to me. Eventually you start to, you know, that emotion starts to leave. You start to process some of this stuck energy that was inside of your body and you become more free. So that's why, like, I just wanted to acknowledge you for that because, you know, I know how difficult it is when you're first starting out and to be able to establish yourself the way you have. Yeah, a lot of respect because it's challenging. So I guess we want to create a space or invite other people to step into this as well because if we can do it, so can they. And there's a lot of reward that comes with that. So Mel, if you don't mind sharing what have been some of those rewards that have come with you facing this and cultivating the courage to show up online. Yeah. How has life shifted for you over the last six or so years since you've been online and established a business?

Oh my gosh. Well, I love what you just shared and it's so true. So many people are in the same exact situation. You know, everything in our childhood shapes us and sometimes we hold on to silly things, even like, you know, we're taught like money is the root of all evil or rich people are bad. And so you have those things in your head and you don't even realize that they're things that you're saying. And so a lot of times I'll even see people that are doing well, but then they will just self sabotage. And that's a whole another topic. But Yes. I mean, you just got me thinking. And there's so many things like that that stem from our childhood that can make it hard to do something like this. But why I really urge people to go forward is I definitely feel like my life has changed for the good, but even more so. And what's so much more important to me is helping others and seeing their lives change. Nothing really makes you feel better than hearing somebody tell you, you know what, like, my lights were getting turned off today, and you were able to help me make the money that I needed to make. And I'm so grateful for it. And it just really makes you feel so grateful for what you have. And it also just feels really good, selfishly. Okay. It feels really good. So don't think it's out of. Out of anything other than my own feelings, because I really do get a kick out of helping others, and it really just fuels me. That is what fuels me. And our life has changed. I've been able to travel. I've been able to make decisions based on things that I want, not based on whether or not we can afford it. There is less stress in our life. There is a lot of things that we're able to do to bless others that would not have been possible. It's been. It's. It's been just such a joy. It's been very challenging at times, but I would say it's so worth it. I'm so glad that not only. And the main thing, too, is on top of that, I call it like a mindset. You know, a mindset thing. When you enter a online business like this, it comes with so much mindset because you almost. You just have to do mindset work in order to get through it. And so with that, I have become such a different person. I am somebody that actually says what I mean now, and I say how I feel, and I stand up for myself, and I don't dim my light. I show up. And I'm not afraid to be authentically me. And in the past, I was someone who would go with the flow or not really speak up or just let things happen because I didn't want to lose friends or just be bossy or, you know, women are programmed to sometimes be quiet or not stand up for themselves or not speak up. And so that definitely was how I was before. But with that, I gained a confidence in learning about myself through personal development and mindset work. And it definitely has benefited me in so many ways outside of just financially.

Yeah, wonderful. And the personal development side of things which, you know, like we've alluded to, is, is really the, the core of everything we do. Right. You know, a lot of the self sabotage that often comes in is, is because we've got these deep seated, subconscious, limiting beliefs that no matter how much we try and progress ourselves on an external level, if we're still carrying around this belief that we're not worthy or we're not good enough, then that sabotage kicks in. Right. So I'm curious to know from the mindset side of things, like, what, what were some of that. Or what were some of the early mindset work that you did? Was it having a coach? Was it having mentorship or being around a team, or having someone that could guide you or kind of direct you throughout that journey, or was it all self guided?

Yes. Well, I was. You know, in my business, there were a lot of people that were doing, you know, we're reading books and we're listening to podcasts and we're getting coaches. And I was, I'm thankful that I was aligned with them and that they took me with him to events and I started getting into it and I was like, wow, this is good stuff. And I realized the value in it and realized how it translates to business. I'll be honest, I didn't do that in the beginning. I just jumped in and just did it. And I don't know what made me do that. I think just stupidity in a way. Just because now I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't believe I did that. But I think I just was really just driven to change my life and change other people's lives. But now I realize learning and taking that step back and really diving deep and learning more about how people are wired, how I'm wired, that there is such a benefit in learning the mindset. And you know, I've been to Tony Robbins. I did his like three day. I forget what it's called, three day mastermind kind of thing. I worked with a lot of business coaches and stuff like that. Deb Erickson is someone I really like. She's great and she's. You would like her too. I don't know if you know who she is, but you would like her too, because you guys really have very similar beliefs and stuff like that. So that's been really helpful for me. I definitely need that stuff.

Yeah. Having the ongoing support is certainly something that, you know, along, along this journey that I've been on as well. It's just the minute I got support and had someone who was, you know they're supporting me, guiding me, or even just like holding space for me in the times where I had some doubt or some resistance and I was the same. I tried to do it on my own for a long time, which only got me so far. I feel like you can only get so far on your own.

Yes.

You get a network or a team or mentors, whatever it is. So, yeah, I'm just such a big advocate for that. Not just because I am a coach, but because I've experienced firsthand how having support shifted and altered my life. So, yeah, it seems like you're leading a team now. Right. So maybe what have you taken from this experience now? Going from when you first started out being a student to now being a leader and really supporting a team? Like, so, yeah. What's that process like for you and what do you think it takes to become a leader?

I love that you asked me that. I was just thinking as you were talking and about the mindset work and about how leading a team is. When you're leading a team, your team is only going to have as much growth as you have. There's no. Nobody on your team is going to outgrow where you are. So that's why you have to always be constantly doing personal development, constantly learning, constantly reading. I think what's the saying? Leaders are readers, right? You gotta. You gotta always be filling your space with positive energy. I think especially too, because being a leader can be draining and you need that. So I have. Gosh, I have. I have led two different teams. My first team was just about almost 10,000 men and women all over the world, mostly women. And I lead a. Another team of about 4,000. So it's absolutely crazy and just casually.

4,000, wow.

Yeah, I know it's crazy, but the biggest. I think the biggest tip and the biggest thing that I do well as a leader is let other people shine. You know, let other people shine and give them the spotlight. You don't want to be the only star in your show. You. In fact, your life will be so much easier if you just give up control and allow other people to lead. Ask them for help and make them feel special and also really be somebody that is good at getting people together. Be someone that's good at creating a community. And I know now we really can't meet in person, you know, but that was something I was always very good at in business, was getting people to events. Because anytime you can get people together and that they are spending time together, they're going to be more Invested in whatever it is that you're doing. So translating that online, how can you make a community? How can you make a place where people feel like they belong and really facilitating that within your leadership and creating other leaders is another place where I've done well. And I think again, it just, it's really about sometimes, you know, it can be hard by telling them things that might be a little difficult that they may not want to hear, but doing it with love and explaining it in a way where you're sharing your story. You know, I was, I was speaking to a gal tonight and I was telling her, I'm telling you this because I learned this the hard way. So take it from my experience, it's not me telling you what to do, it's me sharing what happened to me and then you deciding how that looks for you.

So, yeah, gotcha. Well said. And the power of stories telling is something that, you know, it can be easy overlooked how powerful it is when you share your story, what you've overcome to get to where you are. So, hey, I just want to thank you again for being able to come on here and share some really valuable insights with listeners. And I'll take in some good insights from this as well. Just want to be mindful of your time. I got one more question to ask you.

Sure.

You know, has there been anything that's. Or maybe a few things that come to mind that when it comes to the way your practices, your routines, your habits or rituals, what's something that you have implemented that has really created a big shift in the way you show up in terms of energy? Maybe it's a certain exercise or meditation routine or certain diet shift. Has there been anything that really supported you in really cultivating that energy that is required to lead a team of that size?

I will have to say that I have been somebody in the past that has neglected myself and really just focus on others. And I neglected, I did neglect my health. And I joke around and say I was skinny fat, which is. Which is when you're thin, but you have no muscle tone, you're not healthy, you're not eating healthy, you're not taking care of yourself. Right. So I finally realized I can't do this on my own. And that's why I am definitely for hiring a coach, hiring somebody, hire it out. If it's really causing you stress and you can swing it, if you can make it happen and you can make it a priority, hire it out. So that is what I did. I hired a personal trainer and I do realize that that is not something that everybody can do. And I feel so incredibly grateful to be able to do something like that. I feel so incredibly grateful because not only am I happy that I'm able to do it for myself, I'm happy that I'm able to give my trainer and his family. I'm glad I'm able to give them money. And, you know, it's just like a win win for me because I just wasn't doing what I needed to do. You know, I get to the gym and I'm like, okay, I'm tired, you know, and so having the trainer there to really just like push me further and make me do probably about 100 more reps than I would have done if I was on my own really helps. And what was so hard about it for me is I know what to do. I know how to do the exercises, I know how to use all the machines at the gym, but I just wasn't doing it. And I finally just buckled down and was like, you know what? I'm going to make this a priority and I'm going to make this work. So that was when big shift. And I felt so much better after doing that. And I'm so glad that I did it.

Yeah. Again, Mel, I do so resonate with that because it's like, you know, anytime you want to get progress in something, put money down towards it. You know what I mean? Like, the minute you put money down towards getting a personal trainer, you ain't skipping the gym workouts anymore. Right. Because you just, you've committed your money and you've also committed to someone else.

Yeah.

And it's the exact same with, you know, since I've been doing, you know, life coaching and business coaching is the minute someone puts money down, it's like you're in, you're committed, you're gonna extract every ounce of value. You're gonna take the action you know, you need to take because now you've invested. So no matter what area of life that is, if you want to get progress or growth in something, in put commitment, whether it be finances or commit to someone else, and there'll be no more slacking off. So I'm on the. I'm in the same boat with you on that when it comes to exercise now, I commit to personal training or I commit to going to the gym with a friend because it just makes sure I don't skip it and I get the most out of it. So thanks for sharing that. And Mel, again, thank you so much for coming on here. It's been real pleasure having you on the podcast and I've really enjoyed this conversation. So, yeah, thank you so much.

Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

We'll see you in the next episode, guys. Thanks so much for joining us. Take care. Hey, there we have it, guys. Thanks so much for listening to this episode. And yeah, look, if you made it this far, cool. Here's my voice again in your ear and I'm gonna make one more request for you is go ahead and subscribe and leave a comment on the podcast page because I'm really putting a lot of focus and attention on getting this podcast out to more people because I know what I'm putting in here can serve and bring value to people and it would mean a lot if you got value from this to leave some feedback and subscribe. So you stay up to date with what's coming up and as always, follow me on Instagram and love hearing from you. It's dateshifters until the next episode, guys. Thank you so much and I appreciate you.