SSP 083: Kenji Gorré - Life Lessons in Soccer

Hello, guys. Welcome back to the Stage Shifters podcast. This is Jordan Candlish here with you. If you're new to this podcast, this is for anyone who's looking to level up their game in life. And your game in life is the energy you bring to everything. Now. The energy in which you bring comes down to how well you're able to navigate your internal world. And on today's podcast, I've got someone who is navigating his energy at a real high level. His name is Kenji Gore and he, he's a professional footballer playing out in Portugal. And Kenji and I crossed paths about six years ago while we were in New York. We bumped into each other in a rooftop bar and, you know, I was just obviously really impressed to cross paths with someone who at the time he was playing the English Premier League, you know, one of the biggest and best football leagues in the world. And I've been following Kenji on social media for, you know, for a number of years now, and I've seen his evolution and the content he's sharing. He started to overlo lap mindset in football now and obviously if you're following along with my journey, you know that I used to play semi pro football and I've now kind of transitioned into coaching and talking about mindset. So it's a real honor to have Kenji onto this podcast because he's playing at the highest level there is and he's now starting to integrate understanding the mind, understanding your energy and how that's so important because we're using this in the context of football here on this podcast. But this guys crosses over to everything. Yes, we're talking about football. Yes. If you don't follow football or soccer, then you may not know some of the big names that we're mentioning in this, in this episode. But please apply the same principles to anything in life as we talk about what's required. To play at such a high level in sport is the same thing to play at a high level in life. So this is such an epic conversation with Kenji. He's such an amazing guy and it was a real, real honor to have him on here. And I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation. I know you guys will get some insights from it as well. As always, please subscribe on itunes and share this episode with anyone. If you know some football fans out there who would love to listen to this, share this episode with them. If you'd like to connect with me more, you can hit me up on Instagram. Ateshifters. Guys, enjoy this one wide ranging conversation with Kenji Gore, welcome.

The State Shifters Podcast, a show dedicated.

To helping you discover your true potential through connecting the mind, body and soul. Okay, I've got Kenji Gorey on the podcast Day Shifters Podcast. My friend. How you going?

I'm doing really well, man. Thank you for having me on, mate.

It's an absolute honor. And I've been really excited to get you on here, man, because you're a professional footballer based out in Portugal. We crossed paths about six years ago in New York and you were playing for Swansea at the time. And for people who listen to the podcast, they may or may not know I'm a big football fan, used to play semi pro out here. And for any football fan to cross paths with a Premier League player or now Portuguese Premier League player, it's. Mate, it's a dream to meet someone like yourself. So it's an honor to have you on the podcast, mate.

That means a lot, man.

Yeah, man, my pleasure. And it's interesting because, you know, I checked out your Instagram page a couple of months back and I seen you're posting a lot of content about mindset and how pro footballers can start to incorporate, you know, this mindset off the field as well as on the field, to kind of support them in living a more integrated life, I would say. And you kind of bring light to the fact that, you know, yeah, football is a sport that gets a lot of attention. Players get a lot of fame and they get a lot of, lot of praise, but there's always a dark side to playing sport at a high level that I feel like not enough people are talking about. And you're bringing some light to that. So I'd love to hear a little bit more about how that journey's evolved for you, mate, because you've been in Portugal for three years now, you know, playing for Swansea in the English Premier League. How has this came about where you've now started to overlap sort of the mindset, coaching with the performance side of things. Being a pro footballer.

Yeah. So ever since I can remember, you know, I've always loved football. You know, I was born into football world. My dad was a professional footballer as well. Played at the highest level, Champions League, national team of Holland. So for me, it was like all I knew was football. You know, I just wanted to be a footballer. That was it. Like football was all anything on my mind. It was just football, football. My dad ended up moving to England where we grew up. When I was five, we moved to England and that's when literally my first game as a Sunday League Club. My dad signed me up to Sunday League club. The first game there, there was a City scout there, Manchester City, and he said, oh, is that your son? To my dad, and my dad said, yeah, that's my son. Oh, I'd love to have him come down to Man City to come and train with us, come and play with us. And I'm six years old at the time and my dad's like, definitely not. You know, let him go and enjoy it. But then we get home to my mum and my mum's like, what are you doing? You've just killed his dreams. Blah, blah, blah. Anyway, I play my second game and now my mom's coming with my dad, you know, my mum's coming with him and we're speaking. And ever since then, it ended up, long story so short, I ended up training at Manchester United and Man City at the same time. And it gets to a point when you're nine years old where you have to choose, you know, at the time, I was lucky enough that both clubs wanted me and I had to pick. I had to choose between Manchester United and Man City at the time, and I chose United. I was like, I was in awe of everything around there, like all the players. When I go to the first team games, I was like, wow, Old Trafford and everything around. It was just. Was just amazing. And I ended up spending an amazing 10 years there, played with the best players in the world, trained with the best players in the world, got coached by the best coaches in the world, Sir Alex Ferguson at the time. And it's just. It's just when I'm looking back, it's just. It was just amazing, you know, like, to have that experience in my life, I'm just so grateful to even have that, you know. But at the time, I took it for granted, you know, I'm chasing. It was normal to me. I'm around poor Scholes, but it's normal, you know. Yes, schools, you know what you're saying, bro? Like, it's normal, you know, and it's just like. And it's like, it's not normal. And, you know, like, this is what I try to ingrain in young footballers at the moment, you know, that are playing and training with the first team players. Like, embrace this moment, man, because you're going to look back at his time and you're going to think, wow, that I had the opportunity to play and train with these players. Like, don't take that for granted. And, you know, I really did. So we got to a point where I Then moved to Swansea. You know, my time at United was up. I was there for 10 years and like I said, I had an amazing time there. But now I was like, all right, I need to move on. I need to go and play first team football. And I ended up moving to Swansea, where I went from boy to man. I was 18 years old and now I'm like, signed my first professional contract. I thought I was the guy. I'm driving my Mercedes, I'm driving. I'm in the penthouse in Swansea and I'm like, I'm the guy. No one can touch me. I made it like this was my mind. And how things changed was like, was in my mind where it was like, I have to now look after myself. I have to now cook for myself. I have to now I have responsibilities, I've got to pay my rent, I've got to do certain things. And it was such a big growth in my life. It's not just like my house was around the corner. Like, it's a four hour drive. So it's not like I could go home and knit back and forth. Like, it was like my partner at the time, like she was getting the train up and down. Like, it was a real, real growth in my life, like, massive growth. I ended up going on a couple loans, I went out to Holland, which was massive learning for me. And then I made my Premier League debut. And that moment there was like. I cannot explain that moment. It was a moment where I was like, this is what I've been working for my whole life, you know, I was like, wow, I actually did it. And I was like, I didn't even embrace the moment like that because it was like, finally. It wasn't like, it wasn't like, wow, I'm live this moment. It was like, finally, man. Like, after all that work, I finally felt the rewards of all the sacrifice, all the pain, all the hurt that you go through, all the setbacks, all the knockbacks that you receive. And I was like, look what I've just done. And I made my family proud, I've made everybody around me proud. And it's a moment that I'm never going to forget. And then it gets to a point where fast forward two years later. I'm 23 years old, I'm at a part in my life where I'm like, listen, I need to play week in, week out. Like, I can't afford to wait another year and wait. So we ended up getting relegated and the coach at the time got sacked and there was a new Coach coming in, he was young, he was ambitious, and the chairman was that, this is going to be your season. You know, you're going to be in the first changing room, like, this was going to be you. Because I was always like, the guy that was like, training with the first team, going back, playing with the 23s, playing with the first team, training.

Is this at Swansea or is this at Holland?

This is at Swansea.

This is at Swansea.

So I'm like. So I'm in my mind, like, I need to go and play, like, I need to play every week. And then this opportunity and I got a phone call from Costinha, who's actually. He's won the Champions League with Porto. He's played in the world. I think he won the Euros with Portugal. And he basically got me in a state where I was like, wow, like, wait, there is more out there. You know, it's not just England. You can take other routes. And now a lot of young players are taking that other route. You know, they are going to your Germany's, your Portugals, your Hollands, to try and take different routes to get to where they desire to go. But at that time, not really a lot of people did that. And it was like, in my mind, I was like, am I going to go and take that? Am I going to lose this opportunity to do that? And that's when my personal development journey sort of started. It was like, I'm going to do everything in my power to be the best footballer that I can be. So what I did was then I started to invest in my mind. I started to invest in every area of my life to be the best Kenji that I could possibly be. And I realized that my mind was something that was really stopping me from doing that, you know, stopping me from living out my full potential. I used to really blame a lot of things and blame coaches and blame certain things and be in that victim mode. And, like, ever since, learning where my patterns sort of led me to and what I sort of made things mean in my mind, it's changing that and changing the beliefs, changing what I felt into something different, you know, and that's where I'm kind of at right now. So it kind of got to a point where, like, I had to leave Swansea to come out here to find who I was, to find out there's more to life than just football. There's more to Kenji than just a footballer. And that's when I started my business. I started my business on the ball, which is personal development and mindset, coaching for professional athletes. And I've never looked back since I'm now a footballer and a mindset coach, when in hindsight, I was always Kenji Gorey the footballer, you know, like, that's all I knew. That's all I was. And how I'm more than that, you know, And I realized, like, in this world, you can be whatever you desire to be, you know, so I've just stepped into it and that's who I am today.

Mate. That's beautiful. And thank you for sharing that. Yeah, I really enjoyed hearing that, mate, because, you know, just to hear about your journey, making it to the top flight of England, and then I can understand if there would have been some difficult moments, because when the stakes are at the level you're playing at, you know, people think back to the stakes that are highest for them here. Maybe they're working in a corporate job and maybe they get let go from their job and they're going to find another job. In your case, your job is your passion and it is the game you love. And when you say leave United and you lose, you know, your contract doesn't get renewed, you know, what starts going through your head back then you start to have a bit of doubt. And what did you do to, like, what was your way of dealing with that doubt?

So, literally, as soon as I got released from United and Sir Alex Ferguson actually pulled me into his office and he said, kenji, you know, you've had an amazing 10 years here. You've grown up not just as a player, but as a person. I've seen your development. And at the moment, I cannot guarantee that you're going to play. And somebody like you, you need to go and play. You need to go and express yourself. And at the time, there was so much competition. Like, I can't even explain, like, you had your. You had your Ashley Youngs, you had your. You had your Adnan Yanuzai, who was literally my age, coming through. And there was a lot more at that time. And, like, looking back now, it was like a blessing in disguise. You know, after that moment when I got told I wasn't gonna get a new contract, it was like I remember getting in the car and feeling worthless. I felt like my whole world has just come down on me. Like, I was like, what am I gonna tell my parents? What am I gonna tell my friends? Like, who even am I right now? It was like my identity was Kenji Gorey the footballer. Kenji Gorey, the guy that plays for United. You know, that's how I was known in school. Like, what am I gonna say to my boys in school? Like, I'm not that guy anymore. Like, who am I, you know? So it was like, it was so much pressure. I can just remember like in the car, like crying my eyes out. And I was just like, what am I gonna say to my family? Like, what am I gonna say to my brothers, my missus? Like, I can remember being in the car, driving home. I like stopped just before my house, like, let me get myself together. And then I pull up in the drive. Okay, I'm fine. All right, let me go and tell him. I open up the front door, I knock on my parents door. It was still early in the morning as he told me in the morning. And he said, just go home and, and go and be with your family. So I opened up the door and I said, hey guys, I've just got some real bad news. I didn't get a new contract. And I can just remember just bursting out crying, you know, bursting out crying, feeling like I let them down. Feeling like I let everybody down around me. Like I didn't know what to do myself, to be honest, you know, Like, I was like, it was one of the lowest days of my life. But something that my, my dad told me at that time, he said straight away, he said, when one door closes, another one open. And that saying right there, like me just even saying that, it like it gave me so much relief in my heart when I was like, wait. Wow. Yeah. Like there is like, wait, I'm at United. The only way where I can go is down. I can't go higher than United, so I'm all right, you know. And it gave me so much relief, like, okay, it was a day of crying. But the next day it was like my dad told me, he was like, all right, where do you want to go? And that's when I started doing my research. I was like, all right, let me go look at Everton, let me go look at West Brom, let me go look there. And it was like, where do I desire to go? I gave my dad a couple of places to go. Swansea was at the top of the list. I end up moving to Swansea and signed a two year deal at Swansea. So it's like I just want to let everybody know, like, whoever may be listening to this right now, like we often look back, you know, if we're in a car, for example, if you're looking in that mirror of the car and you're looking back, how small is that window? That window is so small. But if you're looking in front, the window is massive, and that's your view. But we're looking back in that little mirror, that little situation, that little thing that's holding us back when in hindsight, we've got a whole future ahead of us, we've got a whole opportunity ahead of us, but we're blocking that with that little mirror. And that's what I want to encourage everybody, to really focus on what you've got rather than what looking back, look at your future, look at your present, look at what you've got right now, rather than looking at what you've got behind you. So, yeah, man, that's my little story.

About United, and so freaking true, man, about most of us driving, looking in the rearview mirror, because for a lot of us, whether we're aware of it or not, there's situations that happen in our past where, you know, a contract ends, someone cheats on us growing up through school, you know, someone fires us from a job. And we allow these moments to shape who we are. We maybe believe something about ourselves in that moment and then shapes all of our future decisions.

Right?

Especially as a footballer, like, your belief systems are the foundation in which creates the confidence that allows you to play your best. So it would have been easy for you to perhaps believe something about yourself in that moment when United doesn't renew your contract, and it would have been easy for you to continue to move forward while looking in the rearview mirror from that moment. I'm curious to know from that situation and going forward from that, what's helped you kind of let go or I guess rewire some of the beliefs that maybe you could have easily believed in these challenging moments to say, no, no, no, that doesn't define my worthiness. That doesn't define my worthiness as a player. I'm still capable of playing for great clubs and achieving amazing things. What has allowed you to kind of just bounce back from those setbacks?

To be honest, I've had such amazing people around me. You know, I've had my fiance, who's been my real rock and support through everything. We actually met in school, so we've literally done life together. She's been unbelievable. I've got an amazing family who support me and made me, you know, like, as a footballer, you kind of feel responsible. You know, you kind of put that pressure on yourself. Like, the amount of footballers that I speak to that feel responsible for their family, that feel responsible for, if I don't do it, who's gonna be the breadwinner? Who's gonna get the family out of where they are. Like, how am I gonna live up to the expectations of what they put on me? Like, the dad wants it most of the time, the dad wants it more than themselves, you know, and it's so that we put on ourselves when actually, you're amazing regardless of the money. You're amazing regardless if you play or not. You're amazing regardless of what club you play for, you know? And that realization was such a breakthrough for me, where I'm like, I am loved regardless of what I have or what I can provide for someone. You know, they love me regardless of me playing on the weekend or not. But I always felt like, oh, my days, if I don't play, how are they going to see me or how are they going to perceive me to be? Like, what I'm sharing is, like, I'm sharing it from a footballer's perspective for everybody that might be listening, that this could be their career, you know, this could be their career that they're really feeling like their boss, for example, is putting so much pressure on them. And then, like, how am I going to provide for my kids if I don't get that promotion, or if I don't get this new job or, you know, your job's in jeopardy, especially in this Covid situation, Like, how am I going to provide? Like, there's so many players out there right now that don't have a club. You know, they don't have a club, but how have they set themselves up for the future? Like, football is temporary. Football is so temporary. Like, it might last a year. It might last 10, 15 if you're lucky, you know? And it's like, what then? You're gonna be coming to this place that you are right now? So it's all about preparing yourself for that. And not to say that you're not to give your all to it, but it's just, you have to prepare yourself. I kind of went off topic there.

But no, you nailed it, though, because it really is the ultimate realization that everything's temporary. No matter what you're doing for work, it's temporary. Like, it's going to come to an end. No matter who you're dating, no matter who your friends are, we're all going to die eventually. So everything's temporary. And it's sort of like the process, whether it's in football, whether it's whatever career or relationship you're in, it's about understanding who are you underneath all of these titles, all of these identities, because if you're attached to any identity you set up for failure. I remember going through this man, because I was, you know, as a young kid growing up, I was committed. I wanted to play pro football. That was like my. My dream. And I remember how much pressure I used to put on myself in games. And when I didn't play well, it was the end of the world. I remember how embarrassed I used to be going into, like going to training on the Tuesday if I hadn't had a good game because I thought I was less of a person because I didn't play well, you know, and it was that realization for me that they crossed over into life, you know, when I show up in my career, you know, at school, if I failed an exam at school, like, your worthiness is not tied to any outcome or any performance or any title. And I think I feel that is the greatest shift you can make in terms of your awareness and really understanding who you really are. Yeah, I'm really curious to know, like, how that shift has supported you now going forward and, and how are you able to support other people in your coaching and pro footballers? Because not everyone's ready to have that shift, you know, to have that awareness, to know, hey, this doesn't define you.

I think it always comes to that point in your life where life will make you work on yourself. If you don't work on yourself, then life will make you. Because it's like a quote that I saw the other day, like, I can't even describe what it was, but it was like, if you don't look after your health or something, it was something like along them lines. I can't even think of what it actually said. But regarding this identity, if you place your identity in something and that identity gets taken away, like, who are you then? So it's so much deeper than just the footballer. It's so much deeper than you, the business owner. It's like, who are you to the core? And as I was asking myself them questions, like a lot of things were coming up for me, started to really strengthen my relationship with God. I started to really understand where I came from and who I am. Like, who was my creator? Like, it's like we're not just here as a coincidence. We could have been born 100 years ago. Why are we born at this specific time, at this specific moment? You know, we all different, like, we all have different thoughts, we all have different things. We're all placed in different parts of the world. Why are we place where we're placed? And it's just these realizations that I started to really see in my life. I started to see, like, wait, God guided me to be here in Madeira. Like, I could have stayed at Swansea. And even the guy in my position, right, Daniel James, plays for United right now. Got the move to United. Yeah, I was playing ahead of him at the time, right. He was on the bench, I was playing. Or if he did play, I would play on the left, he would play on the right, you know, and it was like I was playing every week and I was starting. I moved to Portugal. That's when he moved into my position, sort of thing. And it's just these sort of things that you start to realize, like, if I had stayed, what then? But that's not God's plan for your life, you know, God took me this way, otherwise I wouldn't be who I am right now. I wouldn't have started my business, I wouldn't be impacting the players that I'm supposed to be impacting because I've not experienced the things that I need to, to become the person that he's called me to be. So I can help from experience rather than just saying, oh, you should do this, you should do that, when I've not even experienced what you're going through right now, you know, so it's that sort of thing where I've really felt in my heart, like it's so sad. Like this week as well, like, I've been really heartbroken. Like one a 17 year old from Manchester City got released from Manchester City and he committed suicide. 17 years old and committing suicide on the back of being released from Manchester City, the biggest club in the world, you know, and it's just these moments where you sit back and you're like, wow, wow. That could. How many people are struggling out there? How many people are going through something that you don't even realize? You know, people want to see change, they want to see things happening, but they don't even want to change themselves, you know, they don't even want to take the action for themselves to be the best person that they can be. How can you expect your life to go a certain way when you're not even being your best? Yeah, no. And that's what I've kind of felt a lot more responsibility to continue to spread my business out there, like, and now I've started my community, my free community for players to come into where we all come together and we speak about challenges that we go through.

Yeah.

You know, we speak about these things rather than it being dog eat dog. And I'm better than you. And he's not even that good. Now the conversation is, oh, the coach is getting me. I don't even know what to do myself. Like the coach is killing me, man. And I was like, oh, yeah, same. Oh, I'm going through this injury. Yeah, I'm going through this injury as well. Rather than feeling alone, we're all going through it together and being that support system. So yeah, man, that's kind of. I keep going off topic, but yeah, so keep bringing me back, man. That's why I'm doing what I'm doing. Really?

Yeah, man. It really hits home when you hear that you're like a 17 year old just, you know, calling it quits and tough because like you said, everyone's got their own demons, man. And like we think, you know, as young lads growing up, you think, you know, once you make it pro, that's it, you've made it. And it's actually like the same thing as it is in life and in business. Everyone thinks once they get the money, once they get the house, once they get the girl, then we've made it, then we're good, no stresses. But it's like the same, the old same, man, Every level, new devil. And it's sort of, it's, it's just a constant battle with yourself. And if you can't master the internal game, the outer game will get you. It will be you. So the, the only game that matters is the game on the inside, you know, and it's sort of like that internal level up that you create that allows you to then master the external level. In your case, playing pro football, you know, you've mastered the level of knowing, hey, this doesn't define me. And that key to that rewards you is a level of courage that you probably have when in your game, right? Like, you know, you can be your full self and fully express and take risks without fearing mistakes because you know the mistakes aren't going to define you. Your worthiness is not tied to your performance. Have you seen that shift in courage play out now in your performance on the field? And what about off the field? How have you been finding switching off? You know, because I remember I used to always think about the games, man, if I had a bad game, it would just consume my thinking for the week. Yeah, two questions there. Yeah. Have you found the courage element? Shift from that internal shift? And how do you switch off from your games and let go of bad games?

Yeah, like literally it all starts with internal work. You know, you, you've got to really get that side of things, right? Like, what's actually stopping you from being your true self? And what's actually stopping you from all the beliefs that you have? You know, the limiting beliefs, the blocks that are actually blocking you from being free, you know, playing with freedom. All you want to do is play with freedom, right? If a coach continues to tell you, kenji, you're not good enough, I'll stop losing the ball there or stop losing the ball there. Then beliefs, you start to take on and embody. So it's all about, like, going back there, healing that and creating new beliefs, you know, creating them new beliefs where it's like, nah, Kenji, you're the best, regardless of what's going on, you know, Kenji, now you're sick, man. Like, it's like, no, you are great. You know, it's like, no, you are good. Rather than telling yourself, oh, am I that? Am I good? You start questioning yourself, like, wait, is he right? Or is he. Wait, I'm not good enough. And ever since I started to really work on it to be. And I'm not saying that it's easy, right? This takes work. This takes every single day. Setting yourself up for success. This isn't about just waking up by accident and just living your days and all, right, yeah, this and then, oh, yeah, that. It's like, nah, this takes waking up an hour earlier than you're supposed to. This is about really setting yourself up for that success. By, like, this is what I do. I'm gonna kind of give my.

Would love to hear it. Yeah, yeah.

Like, I do. So I get up an hour earlier from when I'm supposed to. When I'm supposed to le. What I do is I sit with myself. And I've actually created the on the ball mindset planner, which is basically that I write down three things that I'm grateful for. But I don't just write them down. I literally feel into them. I'm like, what am I grateful for today? Like, I'm so grateful for my fiance. Like, the way she supports me regardless of who I am, what I do, and what I bring to the table, like, she loves me. And when you come with that feeling like nothing's gonna. Rather than going on your phone straight away, like, all right, yeah, you're gonna be triggered. You're gonna be so triggered, emails are flying in this, you gotta go do that, Go do that. You gotta center yourself. You gotta ask, what are you actually feeling right now? And then I ask myself, what do I want from today? Like, what will make today great? What will make today great? When I have an amazing session, when I impact somebody's life, when I do. And now I'm living my life with purpose. I'm living my life with direction. I want to show Bella how much I appreciate her. So now when you're walking past a flower shop, now you're going to think, hey, let me get some flowers. But if you didn't write that down or think about that, you would have just walked past the flower shop.

So true.

And it's these little details that made such a big impact in my life, where now I'm living with purpose, now I'm living with direction, rather than just waking up, going to training, playing FIFA, going sleep, going training, playing FIFA. Because that's how they've told us to be. That's what they've told us. Like, we've got no time. We've got fully focused on football. We've got to go down this path. We've got to do this, do that. Like, everybody's got to sacrifice around you because you have to know you come first. It's all that sort of belief that we've been programmed to believe when in hindsight, we've got so much time on our hands, right? But I used to foretell myself, like, nah, I've got a rest. Like, nah, man, I've got to sit on the sofa. Like, nah, man. Oh, let's go on a walk. No, my leg's got to recover. It's just like all these things that I'm now looking back and thinking, we've all been programmed to think like this. We've been programmed to think like this when in hindsight, we're blocking our life. We're blocking our. We're not living in the present because we're always chasing. Like you shared. We're always chasing, oh, when I get that, and when I get that, and I have to get that, and then if I don't get now, I have to get that. So I'm gonna do it. And then you start to consume in that. And then you start to be uptight and tense, and it's just like, that's where. Working on myself internally, just to go back to the question, Working myself internally. That's how I found the courage. That's how I found the. The strength. That's how I found who I am. You know, it's just like visualization, like, that's been key to me. It's been key, like praying with God and building that relationship there. Like, it's Been life changing. It's really been life changing. And the second question. What was the second question?

The letting go, like, if you have a shit game and.

Oh, man. Yeah, bro. Hey. Letting go.

Yeah.

This is one of the toughest things that I have to deal with. One of the toughest. If I've had a bad game, I would bring that home. I would take out my mum, my dad, Bella, my fiance. Bella's my fiance, by the way, Bella. And I didn't want to feel the way I felt anymore. I didn't want to bring it home anymore. I didn't want to bring that stress home to my family. When all they want to see me do be a smile. They don't care if I played well or not. They don't care in hindsight. They only want to see me happy. And it came from that realization where it's like, it comes back to that, like, feeling worthy, you know, feeling like, oh, they only love me if I play in the prem. Or they only love me if I'm making such money. They only love me if I'm buying them a car. They only love me if I'm providing for them. It's not your responsibility, you know, it's not your responsibility. Everybody got to take own responsibility for their own life. It's nice to do the things that you can do when you have it. And you've got to do everything in your power, but you cannot sacrifice the present moment for that. And that's what I kind of did, you know, I was, like, always living in the past. I was living in the future. I was living in the future. Like, when I get there, when I get that, when I get this. And the moments were passing me by, blessings were passing me by, you know, blessings that I missed even going to New York, you know, me and you there. Blessings like that, like being able to go and do that. Like, I took that for granted. I took it for granted. I wasn't in the moment, you know, I wasn't in the moment. I was worried about, ah, when I get back to football, I need to go. I need to give it all. Like, of course you're thinking about football. It's a love. It's what we desire. But we've got to live in the present moment. We've got to accept where we are and give ourselves the best chance to go and get what we desire, you know? So, yeah, man, that's good. I hope that answers your question.

It really does, man. You nailed it. And then this is fair for people listening as well. This this applies across the board. Yeah, we're applying this to the context of football, but this is everything, man. Because this same thing happens for people who start businesses. You know, like, they start a business and their mind's always in the business, working, working, working. The minute they step out of the business and try to hang out with their loved ones, they're still thinking about the shit they got to get done or those emails they're going to answer. So the theme behind that, like you just shared is can you start to be more in the moment? Can you start to slow your mind down so you're not thinking about the future and dwelling on the past and just here enjoying the simple things?

I also want to add there, you know, like, I started to realize what I actually wanted from life in every area. So I asked myself, like, what do I want from my relationship? What do I want from my spirituality? What do I want from my finances? And as soon as I started to, like, sort of ask them questions, I started to ask myself, what do I love? What do I desire? What do I want? Right? And with football, it was like my career. Okay, that. But now it's also. I love spending time with Bella, so if I love spending time with Bella, I'm gonna go and do more of that. I love going out for dinner with her. So go do more of that. You know, it's like, all right, I love to go to. For example, if you would love to go to park with your kids, go and do more of that. It's like, right, that's how I kind of switch off, right? So it's like, if football's. If the game's not gone, right, if it's games, I'm gonna reflect. I'm gonna see how I could have done better. Okay, yeah, that's. There's time for that. But right now, I'm not gonna lose the special time I have with my. My brother that's come to see me from Manchester. Yeah, like, he's come here to see me. I'm not gonna then be like this and be like, oh, yeah, you're alright, bro. Yeah, nice, man. Now I want to be my best self around him.

Yeah, I want to be.

He needs to show. I need to show him also that that doesn't define you either if you have a bad game, you know? So most of the time, it's not about you. It's not about what you're going through because you're a living example for the people around you. You're the living example of how people around you want to act like you're living example for your children, for your brothers. And that's how I want to live my life. I want to live my life in that way where they're. When I'm not just telling them what to do, I don't want to tell them what to do. I want them to see that through my life, through how I handle certain situations, what I do in certain situations, you know? So, yeah, man, I really want to encourage anybody that is listening to that to really figure out what they desire from what they want to do in life and do more of that stuff.

Yeah, it's so true. Because it's through doing the stuff that nourishes our soul. It's when we start to really, like, tap into that energy that kind of propels us forward into the direction we want to go. Whether that's, you know, spending more time with your. Your girlfriend, your missus. You're probably. You're probably getting really a lot of clarity in those times as to, you know, how you can be a better person or how you can do something fun on the weekend, or even sometimes you're probably getting some insights on your games while having conversations with her. I know that's the case of me with my girlfriend. When I sit with her, like, because I feel so relaxed in myself, I'm able to, like, tap into new ideas or just like new creative ways of me enjoying life more. So, yeah, you know that, man, just like, getting clear on, like, hey, what nourishes my soul? A lot of the work that I do, Kenji, is helping people kind of understand how to connect with their inner child.

Right?

So we have this inner child inside of us all the time. Through which, you know, when we have upsets, breakdowns in life, it's usually our inner child that's feeling unacknowledged. It feels kind of left out alone. And when we start to build a relationship with ourselves, we start to connect back with that inner child and realize my child feels a little bit unworthy right now. He just needs some time with me. So he gets that reassurance that, hey, he is good enough, he is worth it, he is killing it. And a lot of the times it's about helping people find those practices or finding that time that's going to allow them to really get intimate with themselves. Whether it's meditation, whether it's going for long walks, whether it's spending time with the missus, when it's been out in nature. I'm curious now, you mentioned before, like, that hour before the game or the hour in the mornings where you're spending time either visualizing, journaling. Has there been anything else that's really helped you solidify that relationship you have with yourself so that you really understand what it is that you need, you know, moment to moment. What else has helped you with that?

You got to like, for me personally, coaches and mentors, they've been like, that is just. For me, it's like game changer. It's because they see the perspective without the emotional attachment to it. You know, like we have the emotional attachment to it. So it's like if I'm not playing on the weekend, like I'm emotional about it and I'm angry and I'm upset. Like, I'm angry with the coach, like, why is he not playing? But then when I come to my coach with it, it's like, yeah, but what do you mean? Like, you know, and then it gives you a whole different perspective that you can't see yourself because you're emotionally attached to it. And it's all about them limiting beliefs and then blocks and them things that are stopping you from living out your dream life. Like, that's what I would suggest anybody that's listening to. Find yourself a mentor, find yourself someone you resonate with and go and invest in yourself. Because the best investment that you can do is the one in yourself. Like, it's changed my life, you know, it's really has changed my life. Even just little investments like. Like I did one the other day. I did the UPW online with Tony Robbins.

Yeah, I saw in your story. Yeah, cool.

I absolutely loved it. Even though I had like, I couldn't do all the hours because I had training and the games and stuff. But when I was in it, I was like, yeah, like this is some powerful things. I learned a lot about myself. Like, go and look at five people that you look up to and you want to be like. Or you see and see what they do. There's no coincidence in the people that have success in what they do. This success leaves clues, you know, success leaves clues. And that's what I've learned. Like, I just want to be the best that I can be at all times. And to invest in yourself and to know yourself and know to who you are, coaches and mentors has been. Is a game changer for me.

Yeah, and likewise, man, like I've had a coach for a couple of years now and it just like you've probably experienced the minute you have someone who's showing up for you to Shine the light maybe on the things that you potentially can't see or things you may be attached to without even realizing. It's a game changer, man. It's just like, yeah, it allows you to just live a more harmonious life while accelerating wherever it is that you're trying to get to. So 100% resonate with that. Probably the reason why we've become coaches, because we've experienced the power in receiving coaching, mate. What's on the horizon for you? Because three years now out in Portugal, thankfully, the season's happening. Covid hasn't impacted things too much. You grow in the coaching business on the side, you know, like, ideally, how much longer do you want to play pro football for and what are you hoping to do when the time's up, when it's time to hang out the boots?

Yeah. So, like, at the moment, with football and everything and what I'm doing in my life at football is I want to get the best out of the talent that I have. You know, I'm born with a talent, and I want to not look back at this moment in my life and feel like I could have done more or I could have done this or could have done that. I want to give everything to it. So I just want to get the best out of my career, you know, I want to play at the highest level. I want to play with the best coaches again. And, yeah, like, even the level that I'm at right now, it's the highest league in Portugal, but I want to be playing in the Champions League, you know, I'm not afraid to say that. I'm not afraid to, because that is something that I desire, you know, and that's what I'm working towards that. I feel like after my career, I'm already setting myself up for it sort of thing. And with this coaching business on the side, it's like, I feel like it's part of me, you know, I'm a footballer, but I'm also a mindset coach. Like, it's not one of them where it's on the side sort of thing. That is me. And it's like, to be the best football that I can be while supporting players along the way is like, yeah, man. Like football. Football is my love, my passion. I love it. But coaching is my purpose, you know? So that is, like, when my purpose in my dreams meet, that's when I feel more fulfilled. Like, these conversations right now, like, having with you, it's like, I love it, you know, I just love the connection that I have with people. I love speaking to people on a spiritual level rather than just speaking on surface level. You know, it's like, I want to get to know the person. I don't just want it. Oh, yeah. How are you, bro? Yeah, cool, man. How are you? It's like, I want to know, like, right, so what are you struggling with right now, bro? How can we get you out of this struggle? What can we do to. You know, it's like, I want to be a part of people's lives like that. So. Yeah, man, I just. That's how I've realized my purpose and why I'm on this earth. Really?

Yeah. Huge, man. That's so amazing. And couple more questions, man, before I let you go. Now you're getting into your afternoon winding down before a big game tomorrow. But I'm curious to know, because you know how you played at some of the biggest clubs in the world, You've played alongside some of the biggest and best players in the world. What have you noticed? Because I'm probably assuming it's small little 1 percenters that are separating the best clubs and the best players from the others. What have you noticed in that? And when it comes to the individuals in these organizations, all these top players, what are they perhaps doing that just that little bit different that are separating them from the average player?

For me, it's the biggest thing that I saw, as soon as you just ask that is consistency. Consistency. And what I mean by consistency is like, they are their best regardless of the circumstance, regardless of what's going on outside, regardless of if they play or not, regardless of if they're having a good game or not, 110% are giving to it, you know, and that's what separates for me. Like, that's what, like how they handle not playing, how they conduct themselves in the training sessions. Like, training sessions to them is not a game. It's not a joke, you know, like, it's not. It's not like, this is my life. Like, if somebody's not running, it's like they're shown with their own self how to do it.

Yeah.

No, they're not like, saying, come on and not doing it themselves. It's like that consistency every single day, that discipline to stay consistent. They're there at the same hour every single day. They're there doing extras every single day, whatever age they are. They're like, there's no excuses, you know, it's like, that is what separate. There's no excuses. Like, they take responsibility and that's what it is like if they're not playing, it's like, it's not the coach. It's not like, oh, the coach is this coach is that now. It's like, it's like my opportunity is coming. Like, I'm just, I'm doing things in my control. Like, it's like it's not even a conversation, you know, that's what I've realized.

And then this crosses over back into life. Because the training ground of life is like, you know, when you wake up in the morning, do you make your bed, do you clean your dishes after you wash them? It's all in those little moments. How you do one thing is how you do everything. It's all that are prepping you for that big moment. Like the best players, they train with intent and everything's done to the highest standard. So that when it's time to perform, it's just, it's already a stand, it's already a norm that they've programmed that in.

So that's. Don't accept anything less.

Exactly.

That is literally it. And they don't expect anything less, not just from the people around them, but from themselves. Like, that is what's so. That's what's so powerful. Like, it's not that they're going to tell somebody else to run, but they're not running, you know.

Yeah, Tony Robbins talks about that as well. Around standards, you know, to achieve at a high level, you got to have extremely high standards. You got to have those empowering beliefs, you got to have a strategy and you got to start with the standards. Right. It's all in the little in between moments like that, demanding the best of yourself all the time. And I just love how this crosses over to life, man. It's like these fundamental things you're building through becoming a professional footballer, it all crosses over into life. So it doesn't. Doesn't matter what you're going to do from now on, man. I know you're going to be extremely successful at it because you've developed that mindset, you know, those standards and mindsets being developed so you can plug that into anything. Business relationships, high standards and that, that commitment to fulfilling on that relationship with yourself first and then and everything around that is impacted. So, yeah, man, I just want to acknowledge you for that. It's such a tremendous achievement to play sport at a high level, especially football, because I know how challenging and I know the sacrifices that go into that. So, yeah, man, this has been such an enjoyable conversation. And hey, six years in the making, we Crossed paths in New York and.

Crazy, man. Really crazy.

Yeah. Anything you want to. Before we sign off, any passing words or comments you want to leave for people who may be listening?

No, I just love what you're doing, man. I really love what you're doing. I think there needs to be more people out there like this that are. Even if I would encourage anybody that has something on the heart to do to do it, because it's been placed in their heart for a reason. Not everybody has what they have in their heart to share and just take action on it. Just take action on it and do it. It's just. It's just that simple. I just want you to go and do it. Whatever that is, whatever that may be on your heart, like, you know what you desire to do, so. So go and do it. Like, that's what I really want to show anybody.

Yeah, I feel that. I feel that, brother. And, you know, if people want to connect with you online or learn a little bit more, I highly encourage people to connect you online because your content's amazing. Where can they find you on Instagram, man?

And definitely come, come on Instagram, come and see my life. I share a lot on there, like you shared, like you just said, but it's more of the fact, like, yeah, I definitely look at all my messages as well. So. Kenji Gorey on Instagram. And I'm on there, man.

Yeah. Epic, man. And we'll have to stay tuned, mate. When you win the. The Champions League final, I'll get you back on here and we can do it. Thanks for joining me on the podcast, brother. I appreciate it.

No, I appreciate you, man. I absolutely love what you're doing and really glad to be a part of it as well.

Thanks, bro. Hey, there we have it, guys. Thanks so much for listening to this episode. And yeah, look, if you made it this far, cool. Here's my voice again in uria, and I'm gonna make one more request for you is go ahead and subscribe and leave a comment on the podcast page because I'm really putting a lot of focus and attention on getting this podcast out to more people because I know what I'm putting in here can serve and bring value to people. And it would mean a lot if you got value from this to. To leave some feedback and subscribe. So you stay up to date with what's coming up and as always, follow me on Instagram and love hearing from you. It's eight shifters until the next episode, guys. Thank you so much and I appreciate you.