SSP 098: Weekly Lesson - Beginning the Journey

Hey, what's going on, guys? It's Jordan Kanlis here, speaker, coach and founder of State Shifters. And you're listening to the State Shifters Podcast, a show designed to help conscious achievers master their internal state and break free from the limiting patterns that are keeping them stuck. So you can live a life of passion, purpose and freedom. And on this podcast, you're going to receive everything you need to evolve physically, emotionally, spiritually. And you're going to be getting the tools, the strategies, the live coaching interviews, all, all from conscious creators who are also living their purpose and leaving their mark on the world. And really, it's my belief that we're all capable of greatness. And once we have the courage to own our pain and learn the lessons from our past, we can create a future built around our purpose. And my intention with this show is to really give you the resources you need to help to tap into your unique soul mission and really live life from a beautiful state of being. So with that being said, if you want more tools, resources or guidance in your journey, head head on over to stateshifters.com if you want to join my free Facebook community, you can click the link in the show description. And if you're interested in getting help from me or some mentoring, if you want to accelerate your evolution and move beyond these limiting patterns that are holding you back, feel free to drop me an email jordanstateshifters.com or you can head on over to the website stateshifters.com workwithme and we can tee up a call. So without further ado, guys, enjoy. Take a today's episode. Welcome to the State Shifters Podcast, a show dedicated to helping you discover your true potential through connecting the mind, body and soul. Excited to have you with me if you're joining me live. Welcome. If you're watching the replay or you're on the podcast, thanks so much for being here with me. I really enjoy just getting on lives and just sharing what's coming through me in the moment. So thank you guys for joining me. What I've titled Today's Live is Where to Begin. The reason I've called it that is because what I'm gonna share with you guys on this live is the first three phases or steps that I take anyone through when I coach them. And this is something that I've refined over the last year and a half since I've been coaching. And on the next week's Live, I'm going to be sharing the next three phases. So this is the first three phases that I go through when helping someone redesign, recreate, transform, or become a new person to create the life that they want. It's essentially the three phases that I went through to help me leave my corporate job in accounting to be able to start my coaching business. And I actually think it's honestly the most important thing you need to start off with when you're trying to create something in your life. When you're trying to build something new, you gotta start with the foundations, right? So I'm gonna share the foundations with you guys in this live chat. Before I do that, I just wanna give you a little update on what's been going on in my world. For those who are joining me, welcome. It's great to have you on here. So, yeah, as for me, a little update before I dive into that over the weekend, actually, I want to share a couple of things that have really been helping me go a lot deeper within myself and a couple of understandings and distinctions I've made in my own life recently that I feel like will be helpful for you guys to hear. This is what I've come to realize recently is there's a level of depth of connection that I feel we get cut off from when we are growing up as kids, when we are around certain people who tell us to be quiet, certain people who shut down our emotions, we essentially, our energy gets like, pulled up out of our body and into our heads. That's why most of us who are high achievers, overthinkers, a lot of our energy gets trapped in the head because we don't feel safe in our body. And that's because a lot of the trauma that we experienced growing up creates this, like, wounding in our lower energy centers when where our attention is not safe down there, so we avoid feeling. So for me, in my process, a lot of my work has been about getting back into my body, feeling safe in my body again, and being okay, feeling right. Like I didn't even realize how disconnected I was from my body and feeling my emotions until I'm continuously peeling back layers. But I would say over the last, like two months, some of the main things that have helped me peel back even more layers so I can feel more pleasure in my life. And just like, just really feelings are the currency of life. The more you feel, the more you get to enjoy this experience of being a human on Earth. So for me, leaning into what's getting in the way of me being able to feel deep pleasure in all areas comes back down to what are you the most afraid of? So A couple of things that came up for me. One thing that came up for me that I was most afraid of, that I identified a few months ago, was dancing. I was very afraid of dancing, afraid of, like, expressing myself and moving myself in a sensual, sexual way in dance. And just so happened, an opportunity came up for me to join a male sexual embodiment dance program here in Perth with my good friend Doug. You might have seen him come up on some of my stories. So I've been doing dancing for the last, like, six to eight weeks, and it's really supported me and just like getting back into my body in a really powerful way and feeling so much more connected to myself, but now also feeling this new connection with music and expression through dance. It's been so fucking powerful. And I just wanted to share that one with you guys. And the other thing that I've been doing a bit recently is getting deep body works and massage, deep trauma release massage from my buddy Theo, who's an absolute legend. He's helping me really just unlock some of this stored pain from my past that's held in the. In the muscles in the fascia in our body. So through the. This combination of me, like, leaning into the discomfort of dance, having massage and bodywork, and having someone who knows what the hell they're doing to support you in releasing where you might be holding on to trauma from your past. The level of pleasure that's been unlocked in my life, like, oh, gosh, it's so amazing because it's almost like you don't even realize how juicy life can be until we really lean into this stuff and acknowledge that, hey, I've been so disconnected for so long. So it's a beautiful path. And when you wrap that around coaching and understanding yourself and understanding why you are the way you are, and someone supporting you in that process, it's so beautiful to really come home to yourself. Okay, so with that being said, I just want to jump into what I wanted to share with you guys today, which was the first three areas of focus when I begin working with someone. When it comes to creating transformation, to supporting someone out on their journey, when they embark on trying to create something in their life, you know, whether that be something big externally, they want to create more money, a new job, you know, a new living situation. First step always in the process is having a very clear vision around what it is that you want to create. If you're trying to create something in the world, and that's the nature of our human experience, to have the desire to Create the desire to expand. It's hardwired in us like we're expanding. So we're going to continuously have new things that we desire. We're never going to run out of things to desire because we're always expanding. So for me, when I recognize the fact that I'm always going to want things, it's a part of being human. I'm always going to want to build new things and have new things, because if you didn't want that, you would be dead, you'd be stagnant. So we're always going to be wanting to expand. We're always going to want to create new things in our life. So when you be more conscious with what it is that you want to create, then it becomes a lot easier to align yourself with who you need to become to have those things that you want. So the first step is a vision for most people. They have a clear idea of what it is that they want externally, whether more money, the house, the relationship, the job, the, the bigger business, more clients, whatever it is they want externally. But then we dial it another layer deeper, which is, how do you want to feel once you get those external things? Okay, so what are those emotions that are really important to you? You know, there's high vibe emotions that you expect to feel once you get all that money in the world that you want, you want to get that loving relationship, how is that going to make you feel? Most people, from what I've noticed through coaching, is they're not aware of how they want to feel, right? They know what they want, but they don't know what they want to feel. Because if you get the things that you want, but you haven't clearly defined how you're going to feel when you get them, they turn into empty goals. Empty goals are the worst things ever because it keeps you on this, like perpetual cycle of always chasing something. And that happened to me with my corporate job because I thought what I wanted was to be an accountant and make money. And. But then when I got that job, which was the dream job, and I got the money and I had the suit, I was like, wait a second, this ain't. This ain't it. This isn't what I want. This feels like shit. This was empty because I hadn't defined how I wanted to feel. I thought I wanted something external. But no, no, no. We want internal feelings. So we start chasing feelings, not goals. We chase internal feeling states, feelings of freedom, passion, boundaries, abundance, joy, connection, enthusiasm, gratitude. We identify what you want to feel, your life is unique to you. I'm very clear on the emotions that I love feeling in my life. And I make a conscious effort every single day to feel those emotions because now is all we ever get. If you ain't feeling these emotions now, today, today, fucking hell, they're not going to come tomorrow. You. We can't wait for something else to change outside of us for them to come. And why delay your life? Because if you start accessing the feelings you want to feel now, all of a sudden, you don't need anything else external. You're living every single day to the fullest. And when that happens, when we make that internal shift, that's when all your external goals will come to you when the time is right. And that's not up to us to decide when the time comes, but they will come. And I can testify for that, because there's been a lot of amazing things that have showed up in my life when I just let go, surrender, and just trust what I feel. Okay. Hope that makes sense. The trauma stuff is definitely the big piece that unlocks the puzzle to you having everything you want. And that's actually the next thing that I wanted to talk about, which was after we have a clear vision, after we know what it is that you want to feel, we then drop into, okay, what's now getting in the way? What is now getting in the way of you feeling those emotions that you really value? And what I call this. Or I haven't coined this word, but it's a word that I use to describe this process. It's called the integration work. When you integrate the pain from your past, meaning we look back and go, okay, we're holding on to all this trauma and blocked emotions from our past. When we then integrate that into the present moment and reprocess it, we let go of all the heaviness that that's blocking us from feeling those lighter emotions. Okay? So I hope that makes sense because some people will call integration healing. I prefer to say integration because when you say, oh, I gotta heal myself, it implies that there's something broken or not wrong with you. But in reality, everything that happened to you was. Was perfect. And it created the perfect circumstance for you to adapt in the way that you have to get you to where you are right now so that there's nothing in the past that was wrong, so there's nothing that's broken. So when we say integration, we're more just bringing the light of awareness, the light of your loving awareness onto the parts of you that needed love. Back then, that didn't get it. So the reason why coaching is so powerful in this process is because most of the time, we can't see it. Most of the time we're in, like this. This mode where we haven't zoomed out enough to see where we're holding on to the blockages. Okay? So that's where a coach can be really helpful. That's where having some sort of therapist or someone can support you in your integration work, especially the trauma stuff, you know, especially the inner child stuff. So a lot of the work that I do within the integration work is I do inner child stuff. So inner child healing, re parenting yourself because, you know, God bless our parents, but, like, in that generation, they didn't have, maybe if you're lucky enough to have parents who were consciously aware, but emotionally, my parents weren't able to really see or feel into what it was that I needed at really core moments in my upbringing to hold me and be like, I got you. It's all good. It's okay to be afraid. You know, it's okay to be upset. They weren't there for me at certain moments in time, so I've had to go back and be there for that little Jordan and hold him in those moments to be like, no, no, you're safe, bro. I got you. It's gonna be okay. You know, doesn't matter what people think about you or all that kind of integration work is releasing the pain from your past. Shame, guilt, you know, grief, whatever it is that you're still carrying around, that's the stuff that blocks you from accessing those beautiful, lighter emotions that are always within you. Okay? So once we let go of all that, all of a sudden we have this lightness to now tap into these beautiful emotions and our vibration. And if you're into Law of Attraction, your point of attraction, your vibration, your frequency goes up, you become a more lighter, more freer being. Right? You know, like before, like three years ago, guys, I would not be able to get on here and share and talk about this. I would not. I could physically could not verbalize my emotions. I was like, cut off. Like I said at the start was like just a neck from the head up. That was me. I couldn't verbalize my emotions. So what happens is when you let go of heavy emotions and you get lighter, the energy moves through you freely. You can express yourself. You can speak with confidence. You can feel life. Sex feels better, food feels better. You can meditate and tap into higher states of consciousness. You cannot do any of this stuff. If you're still holding onto pain from your past, if there's still heaviness inside your body, you're disconnected. You're disconnected. So you must start there. Okay? Vision integration, they're the two first steps in the process. By this point, you know, someone is now really starting to experience a big shift in their life. They're feeling a lot lighter. For a lot of people that I coach that are new to this work, and this can be very uncomfortable when you do the integration work, you know, when you start to peel back the layers like this. So the amount of time that someone must go through this period of work is dependent. Is dependent on the extent to which someone is still carrying around heaviness from their past. So sometimes it can happen really quickly. I've seen someone, you know, in the space of one call just, like, release all this shame that they've been carrying around, and literally in the space of a week, feel so much lighter, so much freer, and just be a completely different person. So it can happen really quickly. It also depends on how open you are to being vulnerable and surrendering. The third and final thing that I'm going to share with you guys today around the first three steps in the process that I coach someone around when they begin their journey is beliefs. Right? So once you've dropped the pain from your past, the emotions from your past, once you've, like, let go of that, oftentimes we have actually, all the time we have limiting beliefs tied to those heavier emotions, Limiting beliefs around what it is that we're capable of, what it is that we're worthy of, you know, and for me, in my case, you know, one of my main limiting beliefs was like, I'm not good enough. I don't have what it takes to. To be a coach. I don't have what it takes to share things online. No one's going to listen to me. Or when it came to soccer, I was like, fuck, I'm not. I'm not as good as some of these other players. I had all these doubts about myself tied to shame that I had experienced, shame in my body, shame that I. Someone told me off or told me I wasn't good enough or shouted at me. And all that shame got stored in my solar plexus, and it was cutting me off from accessing that belief that, hey, I've got this. I am good enough, I am worthy. I deserve to be here. So when you let go of the pain from your past, when you process those heavy emotions, we then have an Opportunity to rewire the beliefs that are stored in your subconscious. Okay, so the subconscious programming is what's dictating the behaviors that you take action on. So when we release the, the lies, man, it's, it literally is. Your subconscious is feeding you lies constantly. And if you're not aware of it, you can consciously say to yourself, no, no, I'm good, I'm good. But if subconsciously you're holding onto this, this energy, this life from your past, then it will weigh you down. Your actions will come from that place of fear and unworthiness. So the beliefs is like the rewiring. You're just rewiring the subconscious programming. When that happens, all of a sudden it's like you take the handbrake off the car. You know what I mean? Like you, you know, when you've got limiting beliefs that you're holding on to, it's like, it's like driving around in a car with the handbrake up. You have so much potential. Like as humans, we have so much fucking potential, but we just, we just hold ourselves back by these programming that we're not even aware of. So when you change the beliefs, it's like you pull the handbrake down and all of a sudden your vehicle just takes off. And now you're just getting to navigate this vehicle with like superpower energy that you've got from having new beliefs. So I'm going to, I'm going to start to wrap things up there, guys, around what I've just shared, what I've covered today is the vision, is the integration, is the beliefs. Now next week on next week's Live, I will share with you the next three phases or steps that I take someone through when they start to now propel forward in this process. Okay, so these were the beginning three steps. This process sometimes can take three to four weeks, sometimes take three or four months. Depends on the person. But when this stuff gets rewired, oh man, it's the beginning of a beautiful journey. So guys, I appreciate you for being on here. I really enjoy sharing this stuff and if you ever want to go back and re watch it or listen to it, it will be on my feed or on my podcast. Yeah, one last thing actually before I go. There's three days left for anyone who still wants to join my Self Worth solution program. It's a program all about building a stronger relationship with yourself. I'll be addressing some of these key areas that I mentioned kicking things off I Friday morning this week. So if anyone wants to still be a part of that. If you're listening to this, send me a DM or you can click the link in my bio to fill out an application form. It's going to be super powerful. I'm super excited to get stuck into that and it's going to be a lot of fun. So appreciate everyone who joined me on here. If you're on the podcast, thank you so much for listening, so much. Love sending it out your way and I'll be, I'll be in touch real soon with more content like this. Take care, guys. Have a good day. Hey, there we have it, guys. Thanks so much for listening to this episode and yeah, look, if you made it this far, cool. Here's my voice again in your ear and I'm going to make one more request for you is go ahead and subscribe and leave a comment on the podcast page because I'm really putting a lot of focus and attention on getting this podcast out to more people because I know what I'm putting in here can serve and bring value to people and it would mean a lot if you got value from this to leave some feedback and subscribe. So you stay up to date with what's coming up and as always, follow me on Instagram and love hearing from you. It's eight shifters until the next episode, guys. Thank you so much and I appreciate you.