SSP 100: Josh Collins - Trusting Your Bliss

Hello, guys. Welcome back. It's Jordan Candlish here. Thank you again for joining me on the State Shifters podcast. Today is 100 episodes. What a journey it's been. Hey, I'm so blessed. I'm so blessed and grateful to have had the opportunity to sit down with 100 people, although some of them would be solo episodes. But like, to have 100 episodes come out on this podcast is something that I'm really proud of. And most importantly, I'm most blessed and grateful to people like you who are tuning into this podcast. And, you know, I would really invite you if this is bringing some value to your life. Please subscribe and leave a review on itunes. That would mean a lot to me, but, you know, for myself now, just to celebrate 100 episodes. Hell, yeah. We made it. We made it. So I thought I'd bring back on my good friend Josh Collins, who was the man I started this podcast with. He has been on this show quite a few times, and we always have great conversations. It's always great catching up with Josh. He's living out in Sydney and, you know, life update on my end. I'm planning to move out to Sydney in the next few weeks. So it's going to be really exciting to reconvene with Josh in person. Josh has just been one of my childhood friends who grew up together, and he was one of the first people to introduce me to personal development. He gave me the book Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth, and that was the book that really changed my life at the time. So I always learned from Josh, and we dove into some really important topics right now that we're both exploring and pondering and thinking about. So there's a lot to. A lot of good information in here. And yeah, I really appreciate you guys for being on this journey with me. So enjoy today's episode with Josh.

Welcome to the State Shifters podcast, a.

Show dedicated to helping you discover your true potential through connecting the mind, body, and soul. Josh, welcome back, mate. We've made it. We've made it. 100 episode stage shifters podcast. We're back here. Josh Collins, the founding guest. Good to have you back online, bro. How are you?

Yeah, good, man. It's a pleasure and a privilege to be here for episode 100. Doing well, doing well over this side.

Yeah. Amazing, man, amazing. And then we'll just. We're just chatting before we started recording about, you know, the. The journey that we've both been on to get to this point of 100 episodes and how much we've both evolved and the podcast for me has evolved. It's been an international podcast I've started in Canada, brought on guests from, you know, around North America, now back home in Australia. And, you know, we've both been back located in our home country for the last last year and a bit, and you've just gone into a. To a lockdown. Unfortunately, at the time of this recording, Covid's just spiked again in Sydney and what, you're in two weeks of a lockdown? So firstly, how does. How's that feeling like? I'm sure a lot of the world can relate to that, but for Australia, this is still quite new for us, eh?

Yeah, I suppose it's been like. It doesn't impact me too much, but it's obviously an impact of a fair few people. Obviously a blip in the ocean as far as context compared to North America and Europe and everywhere else around the world. So pretty privileged, really. This is first lockdown in a while and, you know, I live in a pretty beautiful place, so it's not the worst place to be locked down in.

Agreed. Agreed. Yeah, and I was just, just sharing with you as well before we started recording that, like, I'm excited to be moving out to Sydney. The plan has been for Amanda and I to move out to Sydney at the end of July and hopefully that if that can still go through. Okay. I'm going to be in the same state as you, mate. So I'm looking. I'm very much looking forward to that.

No, it's crazy, man.

New chapter begins to unfold for myself.

Yeah, it's crazy. We can do our second or third in person, in person podcast in the last four years.

Legit. Legit. Y. Interesting. Like you and Castiello, the other good friend who went on exchange with us is now living in Melbourne. So we've all spread out. A lot of my friends are now spread out across Australia. So it'll be great to be back on the east coast with you guys. But yeah, man, tell me what's. What's. What's been happening. What's been happening in your world? How is. How is life? You've just started a new job and I guess what. What's been. Some of the. The big things that have been going on in your world over the last few months.

Yeah. Started a new job, needed a change, which I think I was chatting to you not too long ago around just knowing that it was time for a change, needing a new challenge. Started a job with a new company and pretty much got exactly What I wanted out of it, which was, you know, that was very validating. Like, when I decided I wanted a new job, I laid out what I was missing in my current role, what I was looking for. And pretty much everything that I wanted has culminated, which is nice. Like, not necessarily, like more. More money or like, more prestige. Like, it's a pretty similar role, but the environment that I'm in is different. And that's basically what I wanted. I just wanted a similar thing, but with a completely different perspective. And I'm surrounded by different people, different processes, and I'm in a kind of learning state again. I like that process. I like the process of learning and being in, you know, being. Being around new people, getting new ideas. And that's. Yeah, that's what I. That's what I got out of it. So it's been a. It's been a positive change so far outside of that, still. Still living the simple life out here. Man down, kind of South Sydney, down on the coast. It's been. It's been nice. Still working, like, primarily from home, but doing a couple days in the city now, which is. Which is cool. But, man, I'm living the simple life out here, man.

Yeah, man. I love how you've chosen to intentionally live that life. And we were just speaking before about, like, now there is, like, a bit of a challenge to live the simple life because there's now restrictions on what you can do and where you can go and who you can spend time with, which is pretty intense. Are you afraid that could impact your ability to live a simple life?

I don't care. I don't think so. It's a similar thing, what I was saying before. It's like, in all honesty, my life has been very impacted by Covid in a very small way. So I feel extremely fortunate to be in a position, I mean, compared to a lot of people around the world, that it's obviously impacted, like, massively. I actually feel like it's allowed me to live more simply, like being able to work from home, being on my kind of still on the 9 to 5, but having a lot more control over those hours, not having to travel, being in an environment that I like and that I can set up. Obviously, the social aspect is probably the biggest thing that's been impacted. But as far as that, I'm a fairly solitary person anyway. Like, I. I like my own time, I like my own space. Like, I. It gives me a lot of energy. So as far as a simple life, I actually feel like it's been Beneficial? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know about as far as you're concerned. Basically like Covid hasn't been existing in Perth pretty much.

Yeah. No, not really. Not really. That's why I'm I guess hesitant now with going to Sydney. I'm like a little bit apprehensive. Like what if, like what if I go to Sydney and all of a sudden I'm stuck in a, you know, know a multi week lockdown or month, monthly lockdown. I don't know. That's like just the risk that you take, right? Going out to the big cities. But I just wanted to ask you because I feel with, in my nature I've actually realized recently that I am very similar. I'm a very solitary person. Like I'm quite happy being on my own, quite happy. Not really doing too many social things yet. I find by owning that and acknowledging that in my myself it actually attracts more invitations from more people to be like, hey, let's hang out, hey let's go and do this. Hey, let's spend some time together. And good problem to have. Like I'm very grateful for that. That like I have a lot of amazing people in my life and I have, you know, a lot of people that like want to spend some time with me. I'm blessed, I'm blessed by that. But then at the same time I've come up against challenges recently with like, okay, like all these people want to catch up. And I noticed this like pressure that I was sometimes putting on myself or this like guilt that would sometimes come up around like, am I not making enough of an effort with some, some of my friends in my life? Or am I not making an effort with some people that have been messaging me but I'm not replying? Or I'm like, I've been slack, I'm not following through on like hanging out with them even though I said I would. You counted a similar like challenge in your life with choosing to live a solitary life. But you know, you still have a lot of friends and people and family that are trying to contact you and spend time with you and hang out with you. Do you communicate clearly that, hey, nah, I'm good right now, I'll reach out to you. Have you noticed some guilt come up around that?

That's a good question. Yeah, I think I have actually. I think I have that guilt come up. I am like, when I say I'm a solitary person, I enjoy solidarity, but I have no issue with being in groups, large groups, like being in Social situations. But I've definitely had circumstances where I have been invited to things and I didn't really feel like going or like you say, people communicating all the time, and I'm not motivated to go back to them and proactively reach out and catch up. That's probably where I've definitely had feelings of guilt before. But I think to me, it comes down to a sense of knowing myself, knowing that I can still have love for people. I can still appreciate them being in my life, but seeing them or speaking to them in a limited format is still okay. I mean, even if I. Even if I look like to you and my other close mates, like, we don't talk that often doesn't mean that our relationship's any less, like, every time we catch up, we have an amazing conversation. I feel so much love and appreciation mutually. And that's the same with a lot of my relationships. It's like, yeah, I think minor parts of guilt when I'm like, should I be making more of an effort? And then I try to remind myself that that's like, that's okay. That's who I am as a person. It doesn't like, I think, just reminding yourself, like, to accept yourself for the things that make you you, and the people that are in your life that will accept that are the ones that will stick around.

Yes, that's a good point. That's a good point. And what I'm now reflecting on is what about. Because I know for myself, I wasn't always this okay with being on my own. I wasn't this okay with being in my own energy and not having to always be doing things with other people. There was a time in my life where I felt like I had to be liked by a lot of people. There's a time in my life where I spent time with people that perhaps weren't really fully in alignment with me. And I didn't really get along with them that well, but I just hung out with them because they were the people in my life at that time. And I know for a lot of people, they struggle with this as well. It's like, how do you be okay on your own if in your nature you feel like you like being around other people, but the people you're spending time with maybe don't get you aren't on the same wavelength as you, and they're your only friends? It's scary for people to let go of that, you know, Any suggestions, like, you know, someone is in the opposite camp, they want to start to be More okay on their own, but they just find that they feel quite lonely. Maybe perhaps now as well.

Especially 100% man. I feel very privileged again that I like learned to be okay by myself. Because I know like so many people that can't be alone, can't spend time with themselves. And to me, like socialization, like over socializing is just another vice to fill the hole. Like same as anything else that's like that where you don't have to be alone. Like it's just another gap filler, you know. I mean, yeah, that's mainly the reason I left Perth in the first place because I was just so tired, man. I was so drained. Like I was working full time and then every day after work I was catching up with someone. I was going to have drinks, like gonna have dinner. It was literally like seven days a week. Something social like. And I. I just wanted to get out of that environment. Cause I found it so mentally draining. And I literally moved here, moved into the first share house I could find, which was basically like a shared kitchen and then individual rooms. I pretty much spent the first four months until our friend Liv Nolan moved here pretty much every day from morning. Go to work, leave work, come home. And just that routine for like three months, just pretty much all the time, not at work, was just on my own. And I freaking loved it, man. I was like. It was such a refreshing. It was such a refreshing thing to do. I think for people that aren't okay with themselves, you've got to try and like as a. I don't think, like, obviously you can say meditate or clear the mind or try and do these kind of mindfulness practices that help you to realize that there's so much space when you're by yourself and there's so much serenity behind the front layer of life that kind of gets so messy sometimes before you can do that effectively. Try and find a hobby or something that you can do by yourself that's not just sitting by yourself because obviously that's so challenging for people that have busy minds that kind of feel like they're failing every time they meditate because it's just too loud and they can't switch it off. Find something that is mindfulness but wrapped up within a task that makes it feel like it's not mindfulness. Whether that's the gym or whether that's like sewing, crochet, something that engages your senses that you can be alone. There's almost like a bridge to meditation. Because meditation might be too intimidating or too hard to do the first time. If you can try and transition your time from spending all your time socializing, running away from being alone to a task that you can do alone but is still engaging for the mind, still task oriented, I think that can help bridge the time alone into something that has mindfulness aspects can be so helpful and it gives you. I mean, I think we've spoken a lot before about clarity. The more time you can spend like that just gives you so much clarity to then look at your life objectively and say, what is bringing me happiness and what isn't? Because most of the time we're so busy and we're so wrapped up in the day to day, like rushing around that we never actually look at our lives and go, am I happy? What aspects of my life should I be trying to cultivate and what aspects should I be trying to move away from? And if you can take on some of those hobby mindfulness tasks, they can give you the clarity to have a look at that.

Yes, I feel that. Yeah, because you can't have clarity without space. Most people who can't be alone are always trying to fill the space with something. You said socializing, being one of those vices, but working is a big one. Yeah, exactly. A laptop at home, everyone's always working, always just keep doing something. Social media, obviously a big vice. Yeah. You're at home on your own, but you're flicking through Instagram trying to trace superficial connection when that's blocking you from having the space to actually receive the authentic connection with yourself. That really is so nourishing. And what I've noticed recently, bro, with a practice like you mentioned, a practice that, that can maybe just like be something that, that is stimulating to the mind but a bit more, you know, not as distracting. Something that can bring you closer to yourself, an activity or a hobby or something like that. I found journaling, like, honestly, just every morning I've committed to the practice of morning pages, which is what Julia Cameron speaks about in her book the Artist's Way. She says, every morning, commit to writing three pages of freehand notes. Just like whatever's on your mind. There's no right or wrong. Just write every single day, three pages. And I've found since doing that, it's like this really cool open dialogue that you get to have with yourself. It's almost like you allow yourself to just like whatever's going through your mind, just write three pages and just get it on paper. I find that brings me a lot of clarity because it's like it allows those Thoughts that are just bouncing around in my head to just, like, come out, and I get to see what's going through my mind. It gives me a sense of, like, okay, cool, this is what I got to do today. This is my intention for today, or whatever. This is what. This is why I'm not feeling too good today or whatever. You realize that you can always have that connection and understanding with yourself if you just have a dialogue with yourself. Journaling, you know, sometimes things like dancing is a really powerful way to just, like, express what you're feeling without really having to, you know, speak. If that's something. Journaling doesn't resonate with you. So those are two things in my life that have been really powerful recently. Journaling and dancing. And you do them on your own. Yeah, you can dance with other people. You can dance on your own. It's just as powerful. It's actually probably more powerful because you can get in your own zone and really feel into, like, what feels good in your body. Yeah. I don't know. You're a dancer as well. You've, like, danced. Do you dance on your own.

All the time? There's a specific moment for me where I feel in the zone. And it's cooking, particularly cooking. And we're going old school. Set up a record player in the. In the living room, and there's something really nice. Like, I can see why there's a resurgence in record players. Like, obviously they're trendy, and it's, like, a bit hipster, but there's something really satisfying about just having not unlimited access to music. Like, I've been really choosy with which vinyls I'm purchasing, because I'm like, Which ones are, like, for me, like, timeless. Like, what music could I listen to any time of the day, Any. Any year? Like, doesn't matter. So I've been getting into the zone lately. Putting on the record, having a glass of wine, cooking some good food, and just dancing around the kitchen. Man, that's me. Is pure happiness. Like, that's what I. That's. I'm just like, smile on my face and dancing around the kitchen.

Yeah, that sounds pretty damn good to me. Yeah, that's the thing. Like, that's the invitation for someone who doesn't feel okay on their own is like, try that out. You know? Try that out.

I always find, like, in my head, I'm not the most creative person, but I've always thought that everyone has some form of creative expression. Like, because I've met a lot of people, like, no, I don't. I'm not creative. Like, I don't sing, I don't dance. I'm like, that's not. That's a very limited view on creative expression. Like, there's so many different things. And like, mine's cooking, man. Like, my creativity is in cooking. I'm like. It's like you've got an empty canvas, you pull together all these different individual elements and then you culminate them in something beautiful. And like, that, to me, is a creative expression. And my. My challenge to anyone would be try and find what your creative expression is, because that, to me is where a massive amount of happiness lies. And you can feel it. You can feel it inside you when you're doing something like that, that you. That you love to do. It just. It just bubbles under your skin, man. You can just like, you just feel it. And to anyone who doesn't think they have any form of creative expression, go out and find something that doesn't have to be artistic. It can be creative in any aspect of life.

Dude, I can definitely speak to that because that's been something I've been finding so much joy in recently, is owning the fact that, like, I'm an artist and one of my purposes here on. On this planet is to express my art and how much happiness that brings to my life when I commit to that daily. What am I going to create today? It's a really high value of mine now because I've acknowledged how much joy it brings to my life if I just do something creative. That's a really high priority for me. And for me, like, I was someone who really considered myself not creative at all. I worked as a fucking accountant. This is the most uncreative thing to do. So I was so blocked creatively, and I am, for those who feel like they're blocked creatively as well, is I highly suggest getting Julie Cameron's book the Artist's Way, which has been something. I actually bought that with you, bro. In. Do you remember when we were in Sydney about a year and a half ago and we're in North Bondi. Bondi Junction?

Yeah, yeah, I went to Harry Hart.

Yeah, yeah, that's the one. Yeah, I bought that book, but I never actually read it because I don't know, it just at the time didn't resonate. I don't know why I bought it. I'd heard of it, I knew it was good, but just didn't read it because wasn't the time. And over the last couple of months, as I've Stepped more into my creative expression. I've picked up this book and go, I feel like I'm really interested. I want to read this now. And it's a 12 week journey or process to help you unlock your inner artist, you know what I mean? So she gives a bunch of exercises and things to start doing and the morning pages is one of them. So that's why I suggest if anyone feels like they're creatively blocked, check out that book. It's a really great way to guide you back into your creativity. But some of the things that I've been doing and following recently that have allowed so much more creativity to flow in my life in the forms of dance on the content that I make or, you know, just writing posts or things that I want to share has been like these, these artist dates that I take myself on now, right? She says, you know, once a week, commit to taking yourself out on a date by yourself. Go somewhere new. Go somewhere that your inner child would like, really just like have fun. Like go somewhere that like, you know, you've maybe not done it in a while. An example might be go to a museum, you know. The other week I decided to get on the train with no really idea where I was going to get off. I just trusted my intuition. I was all right, intuition. Where are we going today? Got on the train, got off at a random stomp. This looks right. Let's get off here, go for a walk. I walked into some bookstore and some, some shop and just following that, like fun, follow that feeling of like curiosity and fun.

Oh man. I think that's what's so like, obviously some people like to plan, Some people like to be like, have everything certain in their heads. But to me, that's what makes travel so great. Like, which is so sad that we haven't been able to do much of it over the last couple of years. But like the like you say you can still do it, you can still do it in your everyday life. But I think it's characterized by travel is just going somewhere with no plan and just taking it day by day. And like just wake up in the morning, what do you feel like doing today? You're like, you're probably the perfect example of embodying that in your everyday life. And you can see how much joy it brings you in an isolated component. Like in a daily basis, just having uncertainty in your day, being like, I don't know what I'm going to do today, that's okay. Being able to expand that mentality out into your life. And into your. Like into your week or into your month, man, that's a beautifully happy way to live, I think.

I agree. But it comes with the challenge of the conditioning of the mind, which says, oh, no, no, you gotta be working. You gotta. Like, this is 9 to 5. This is when we're meant to be working. Even to me, making money during this time and this has been the challenge for me, like deconditioning that to be like, right now I don't feel like doing work, or right now I don't feel like editing that landing page or whatever, you know, Right now I feel like going for a walk and just spending some time outside. Or right now I feel like meditating, or right now I feel like reading a book, really honoring like my passion in the moment. Like, what is my highest calling right now? What is my bliss in this moment? And trusting that and then having the courage to follow that. Because ultimately that leads you to a higher level of energy where a high level of information can drop in, be it creative ideas, clarity on what the next step is you're meant to do, which ultimately will always lead to more abundance, more prosperity, more value in your life. It's just having the trust to follow it. So I genuinely believe if you have the courage to follow that path, it will always lead you to somewhere beautiful.

It's interesting, obviously, in a unique position where you're not on the nine to five at the moment. And that allows you to do that life, I think, much more freely. I think it's a good point because obviously I can't just get up at 2 o' clock and leave the house. I've got someone that relies on me to do a job between those hours. But I had my old boss when I first started, he always told me, you've got a job description. The job description tells you the what, what's expected, but it doesn't give you the how. And the how's all about you. That's what you're hired for. You're hired for your how. You're not hired for your what because the what is just the task. And I feel like in a similar way, you might still be locked into the nine to five. Or like that's where your path is at the moment, it's where mine is. Doesn't bother me. I quite like it. It gives me some structure. But where I can be creative is in the how. And I've got a task that I've got to do and I've got clients that I've got to keep happy. But no one's telling me how I can do that. And that's the creative part of my job, to come up with my personal stamp on how to do this task, on how to do this job, on how to lead the team. So even if you don't have the freedom of being able to go wherever you want, whenever you want, which I'd say a lot of us don't, I feel like you can still cultivate some level of uncertainty and some level of kind of your personality and your day to day by dictating how you go about those daily tasks. Like, don't feel too locked into what you're doing. Like, things have to be done a certain way. It still gives you an element of creativity and freedom in your day to day life.

Yeah, bro. And just to like touch on that, because what I've noticed, obviously I'm not like waking up going, what I want to do today, let's just have fun every single day. Because, you know, I still have commitments to coaching certain coaching clients and you know, following through on things. So there is still like boundaries and parameters around. Okay. Like, I've got three hours this afternoon that are free. Like, what can I give myself in this time so that I have the highest level of energy so I can show up my best for my client call later in that evening. But what I found is if you treat it like you're always optimizing for energy, like, how can I optimize myself? So I'm bringing my highest level of energy to each interaction, to each job, to each piece of content. Because it's the energy, it's the joy that you bring to the activity which determines how well it does or how it, or how much impact you have, you know, because two people could be doing the same task, one person could be so excited and passionate about it, while the other person, like, oh, I got to do this again. Like, the energy behind it has way more of an impact. So what I found there is, and I'm sure maybe you get access to this as well. If you have to do a task and you're like, hey, cool, I got to do this job. It's got to be done. It's equipment, it's expected. But how can I do it in a way that I'm going to show up my best, how can I do it in a way that like, I'm going to bring my highest level of energy and what do I need to give myself to allow myself to do that? You know? And for me, what I've noticed sometimes it's like getting out of the apartment, finding a nice spot down by the water, bring my laptop, set up my gimbal and just like, wow, look how beautiful this, look how beautiful this spot is. That energy that gets cultivated in me, I then get to bring into my content or bring into whatever I'm creating in that moment. So I just wanted to share that because that's been such a big insight for me man, recently is like, get creative.

You know, that's huge. That's huge wisdom. That's huge wisdom. That's. That to me is like a hundred percent. You can see the difference in like especially the role that I'm in at the moment, which is basically client management. You can see the impact on the entire room when you approach something with passion and energy in comparison to a fear based approach, which a lot of people in client management have a fear based approach because they're. It's almost like you're not working for the company but you're reporting to them. Like you're reporting on work done for them and revenue gained for them. So it's often approached with like this fearful mentality. I've always tried to approach it with as much passion as possible and excitement as possible because it just, it literally goes straight to them. Like it's like you're on my side. Like this energy, it's 100% contagious, man. When you're presenting something to anyone, like you say, if you're filled with energy and passion for what you're doing, even if it's within that one task, it just expands outwards from you. So I completely agree. It's a great approach.

Yeah, 100%.

I suppose the difficult, like you're saying, change your environment to kind of. How do you give yourself the energy to then pass that on? Do you think that there's somewhat, do you think there's a part to play in the bigger picture? So I know you talk a lot about like goals and kind of your overall motivation. Obviously you can, you can change your environment. You can put yourself in a position where you know you thrive a little bit better. But do you think that needs to be backed up by the bigger vision of what you're trying to achieve?

I'll share some insights with you man, recently because I'm a big fan of Tony Robbins. Tony Robbins is someone who has had a big impact on my life and I'll share some of the things that have stuck with what he's passed on through his teachings and it's just helped me a lot before every situation that I go into now, I always ask the question, what do I want out of this situation? What do I want out of this podcast with Josh? What do I want out of this client interaction? What do I want out of this piece of content? Always starting with that question, what do I want out of this? So on this podcast, I was like, what I want out of this is, like, to be able to connect with Josh in a genuine, authentic way for us to be. To be able to exchange a high level of energy so we can pass it on to whoever's listening. So that's what I want out of this situation. And it's then, then back to, okay, like, what do I need to do to be able to show up as the person who can really receive that, to receive the thing that I want? What do I need to do? So that's where I get to think about, okay, I know if I meditate this morning, eat some good food this morning and really get myself in a good state of mind, I can really bring that energy. And we're going to. I'm going to get the thing that I want. But the block for most people, the block for most people is the doing part. They, they go, okay, yeah, I want to have this, these achieve these big goals. I want to get all these amazing things or money or relationships or whatever. Then it's like, what do you have to do to get that? Okay, well, if you, if you want to want to make more money, you gotta, you gotta fucking add more value. You gotta take a lot of action. You gotta move, you gotta do the work. But then the block is like the reason your. Why, like, what's your reason? Why do you want that? Like, if you do not have a strong enough reason, you won't take the action. You won't show up for yourself. You won't do the things for yourself so that you can be in the vibrational state to receive the things you want to have the things you want. Because everything you want is out there. It's at a vibrational level that is maybe on a different wavelength that you're on right now. But the question is, are you willing to do the work to get yourself to that level of vibration, to that energy? Honestly, just an energetic game where electromagnetic beings vibrating at certain frequencies. And when you just raise your energy, you naturally, you start to receive more because you have the capacity to receive. But what I hear from Tony Robbins that he always says is, like, what's your reasons? Like, why do you want it? That's the fuel if you have strong enough reasons, you'll do the work.

How do you usually coach people when, like, my usual approach is, I'll do what I need to do until I can do what I want to do. That's something that kind of sticks with me. But when you're saying, what do you want out of this? How do you approach people that look at a position, don't like where they are, and don't like their work, or are in a, you know, a position that they don't like in their life? How do you think they get the motivation to find something in a scenario they don't like, that they could find an element that they like or that can be what they want? Like, how can you get something that you want out of something, A larger picture you're not enjoying right now?

Hmm. Yeah, that's a good question. Yeah, that's. That's where it's back to the big victories, the big vision. The big goal can only be achieved when you prioritize the little wins, the little goals, the little victories.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Yeah. It's like, break it down. It's like, okay, cool, this is the big thing that you want. But, like, you got to realize that by getting up just half an hour earlier and doing that one little thing that you've been avoiding, that is actually a big victory. Just in a small context, that. That's the. The small victory that's leading to the big victory of you having the larger thing. So you just start to prioritize the little victories, and they start to stack and they build and they build and build. And all of a sudden, like, what, three months later, six months later, you're. All of a sudden, you're in a different energy. You feel different. And I like fucking all the amazing people I've got to work with recently, man, over the last couple of weeks, I've just been really feeling grateful for being able to experience and see people take action in their lives. To see, like, wow, I've been coaching you for six to eight months. You're so different. You're such a different person. You've, like, reprogrammed your mind. You've taken action. You're just seeing life from a completely different lens. And, like, as a coach, it's like the most fulfilling and rewarding thing to see someone transform like that. And it's so confirmation to me that, like, if you have a strong enough reason and your goals are clear and you know what you have to do daily, you can literally have anything you want. You can transform out of any environment because it's only how you're perceiving the environment that is either keeping you stuck. So it's like as soon as you change the inner world, the outer world just reflects it back. You just. You're in a. You're in a new place and sometimes nothing needs to change outside of you. You already know that. It's like, it's what you bring to it. It's what you bring to it just mirrors it back to you. What's Wayne Dyer's quote? When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Something like that.

It's powerful stuff, man. Yeah, powerful stuff.

Yeah.

So that's. Yeah, that's awesome.

Yeah, thanks, man. I was going to say with you at the moment, have there been any external things that have been bringing up challenges for you? Have you noticed some things that you're really working towards changing your internal lens of you in which you're looking at perceived challenge in your life?

Yeah, I think I was telling you before, I think my path that I've been on at like a youngish age, I realized that I didn't, I suppose how much the external world impacted me when I let it. Like obviously going through some in comparison to a lot of other people. Small trauma, I would say, but trauma nonetheless. From my limited view at the time, it made me realize that I didn't want. I wanted to detach myself as much as possible from the external world so that it couldn't hurt me anymore. I think that was. That was kind of where I was at at a younger age. And that was. A lot of that was from like when I first started going into spirituality. A lot of it was around the Dalai Lama, A lot of it was around like Buddhist teaching, which is all about, you know, cultivating positive experiences and distancing yourself from negative experiences and identifying what, what in your life provides each one. And I realized that a lot of my suffering was self inflicted suffering because of how much I attached myself to the external world. So my solution at the time was I want to practice detachment. Basically. That was my assessment at the time. And I achieved that, I think pretty well to the point now where my emotional band is very thin. Like I don't get very down about things anymore because I don't treat them as that important. But I also don't get excited about things as much as I used to because I also see that in the grand picture, the positive and negative is irrelevant. I'm living my life in a simple Fashion. And that's what brings me peace. So, to me, it's been kind of the dichotomy of me having that perspective in my life and living with my partner, and not just her, but other people in my life that don't have the same perspective and are emotional and have a larger emotional band and go up and down and experience life in a different way. To me, and not just lately. It's always been my challenge is navigating the difference between my emotional. My emotional band and others around me. So I think recently I've just. I'm trying as much as I can to be accepting of the fact that each individual is different and has different experiences and interacts with the external world in different ways. And everyone, no matter how they react, is perfectly okay in the way that they do that. And I suppose it was what we were talking about before. It's another aspect of me wanting to be peaceful was having as little opinion as possible in the world. And I think it actually all came from a saying that I heard ages ago, which was, you can't be attacked if you don't have a defense. And I carry that with me a lot, actually, is that I try to have as little defense as possible. And I think as a person, it makes me generally likable because I don't disagree. I don't disagree with people very much, but it can also frustrate people around me because I have very little opinion. So, yeah, my challenges recently have been living in a world that is opinionated and that is highly emotional and having to manage me not being either of those things and accepting that other people around me are. And that that's okay. I think that's my biggest challenge at the moment. But it's been a nice learning, like, I really enjoy. I don't know, when you approach a situation, I think you've probably been there before where you're in a situation that you don't really like. You can feel the resistance. You're not accepting what's going on. You're not accepting the person you're with or the situation you're in. And then you can take a step back. Like, you can pause, you can pull yourself out of the feeling, acknowledge the feeling, pull yourself back and go, no, it's okay. The person that's in front of me has done everything in their life that's led them to this point. They're allowed to be the way they are. I don't have to change them. They don't have to be unopinionated. They don't have to be less emotionally regulated. They're allowed to be upset about things that wouldn't upset me, and that's okay. And the feeling of being able to accept someone who's different from you has such a peace, man. Like, it's. Yeah, it's. It's. It's. It's amazing. It's. It's been one of the things that I've. I've tried to cultivate in my life as much as possible because I. From a young age, I realized I don't want to resist the world around me because resistance to me is just suffering. Like, why would I intentionally resist life? Like, it's just. And that's. That's. Yeah, I suppose it's the continual practice of that because obviously I don't get it right all the time, and I get tense and I meet people in situations that I. That I clash with, and then it's the constant reminding myself that that's okay and that's. Yeah, I suppose it's an ongoing challenge.

And do you find that not having an opinion is allowing you to not have to face as much resistance?

Oh, 100%, yeah. 100. Like, listening to someone going. Because you've. I think we live in a very opinionated time right now. Like. Like you look at politics or you look at people. Like, people are very divided. Like Covid especially, like, you know, I mean, there's a lot of. There's a lot of divisive issues. When you listen to someone that's used to being pushed back on, and you don't. You don't judge what they're talking about. You just listen to them. Of course they're going to like you. They're used to being told that they're wrong, told that their opinion is wrong, told that they should believe this certain way. And I'm like, From my perspective, I'm like, I don't know anyone who's had their opinion changed by someone telling them they're wrong. Like, I don't. It doesn't work. Like, if anything, it strengthens their opinion. Because if anything, if there's anything the ego likes, it's resistance. Like, if you've identified yourself with an ideology or a thought, like someone telling you that their opinion is right or that yours is wrong is just two egos bashing heads, and it strengthens there. Like, it's not going to change anything. So I don't try to change people's opinions. Like, it's not my. It's not my job. It's not my Role. Like, they can. They can believe whatever they want. I'm just a passenger in this life, man. I think that's what I was saying before. Like, that's the mantra I'm trying to live at the moment. I'm just taking a backseat to life. Like, I don't. I'm not here to. I'm not here to try and change anyone's opinions.

But you agree that you can still have an opinion without needing to having to change someone else's opinion, right? You're just choosing not to have the opinion because you feel like it creates resistance.

I suppose I'm choosing not to voice my opinion.

Yeah. Yeah.

Like, I. Obviously, I have some opinions, but let's. Like Barack Obama said, you can have an opinion without being opinionated. Like, you don't. You don't need to spruik your ideology or belief just because you have it. Like, you can passively have an opinion or ideology. Like, obviously, I believe in certain things and I lean towards certain policies and. But I'm not. I'm not trying to change anyone.

Yes, yes.

I'm not stupid enough to think that I can.

Yeah, well. And it's funny. It's funny, man. You share that because it's. I'm sort of like on the other side of that. Because the way I'm living my life is I'm not an opinionated person, but I'm certainly expressing my opinion around how.

Well, that's right. You have content that requires an opinion.

Like, this is how I'm choosing to live my life. This is my perspective around why I've chosen to walk that path, is because I see it as. That as another form of spiritual growth. Because can I be okay with all the resistance that might come up when someone says, nah, Jordan, you're an idiot. That's stupid. Don't share that. Or like, no, I don't agree with you on TikTok especially. There are people on TikTok who will. You'll trigger them just by sharing something. And that resistance that comes up, yeah, it's. It's my work. It's like, can I be okay? To be honest, man, this is. This is why I respect creators a lot online, is because you. You will only be able to attract the level of followers to. To the extent which you can hold that capacity of energy, of people not liking you, of people maybe disagreeing with you. People, like, expecting things from you. Like, there's a lot of resistance that comes up in that everyone sees, like, influences online and go, oh, fuck, man, that's That's a great life. He's got a million followers in my head right now. I'm like, million. Imagine the pressure that's put on them through opinions of other people and then also the expectations that other people now have on them around who they should be in the world.

100 man, I couldn't do what you do. Like, I think maybe my perspective on living is more selfish. Like, I don't. Not that I can't deal with negative criticism, but I'd rather avoid it if I could.

Yeah.

To me, that is a more peaceful way to live. I agree with you. It's a practice in itself to be able to hear negative feed. It's not even feedback. It's basically telling you your opinion's wrong and being able to not listen to it, just to glaze over it like that to me is 100% a spiritual practice. And I full respect, full respect for anyone that does that because it's, it's, it is tough.

Yeah. Like, it is the practice. If someone is sharing an honest opinion and someone is walking this path and embodying the principles that practicing what we preach, then it's like, yeah, can you see the person who doesn't agree with you and accept them be like, hey, that's where they're at in their journey. That's. Yeah, that's where lens right now. And that's. That's okay, you know.

Yep.

No hard feelings. But like, right now, like, even I still feel like I'm on the very low end of the spectrum in sharing an opinion on a lot of the shit that's going down right now, bro, with vaccines and lockdowns and things like that. Like, there are a lot of opinionated people who are, who are speaking up, which I greatly respect because I do have my own opinion around that. But to be honest, I don't feel like I need to step into that arena and openly share online around my thoughts on vaccination and viruses and what's going on, you know.

No, especially it's because, yeah, when you've got external things, not just like, they're not just opinions anymore because they're actually impacting freedoms. So it's, of course it's going to evoke a stronger emotion and it's going to be more divisive than just surface level opinion. Like what band I like, which sometimes can still get pretty hated. But like these ones are impacting on people's freedom. So 100%, they're going to be going to be massive, massive issues.

So at what point does not having an opinion on that start to create dysfunction in your world by. By not having an opinion, does that allow something that is. Is wrong or something that is not okay to persist?

Yeah, no, it's 100%. I totally get what you mean. And I think it's. It's until action is required. Like, if I see something that I strongly don't agree with, obviously there's a time where opinions are needed and you have to voice them and you have to stand up for people or do things that require right action. And I'm sure that time is coming. I'm sure that time's coming where I'll need to say something and I'll need to speak up, but when that time comes, I'll be ready for it. I'm not opposed to doing it, but I just. My goal in life is to live peacefully. And I've found for me personally, the most peaceful way to live is with as little resistance as possible.

Yes.

So when that time. When that time comes, it'll happen. But until then, I'm happy. I'm happy living the way I am.

Love that. Love that. Yeah, it's like, that's one. It's one of your highest values. And you can really.

Yeah, that's right.

Understand.

And that's right. And it's important to note that what I was saying before is that I understand living this way. Not everyone can live this way. And that's the beautiful part about life, is that in accepting other people's differences, you realize that the difference is what makes life itself. Like, we've all gone on a journey to get to the certain point we're in. In our life now, whatever that may be. And the fact that we're all different provides an environment that's colorful and, you know, it provides emotion and provides sustenance, like, sustenance for life. Like, yeah, it's. It's a. The difference. The difference in. In the world is what makes it. Is what makes it beautiful. That's what I find funny because it's a paradox then, that everyone tries to convince everyone else that their way of living is right. Because if everyone was convinced, like, if I went out tomorrow and said, this is the way you live, everyone believe it, then what. What would life be then?

Yeah, there would be no, like, business.

Yeah, there'd be. There'd be nothing, man. There'd be nothing. Like, we can't all be the same. We can't all have the same opinion and the same ideas, follow the same religion. Like, yeah, it's a funny One.

Yeah, I'm curious to know what, what would you say the difference between an opinion and a preference is? Because you mentioned it in the context of like relationships. Right. Not trying to change anyone. You know, you completely accept someone for who they are. Which is, which is great. But I would say a lot of people in relationships, me included, have gone through periods where, okay, I accept you for who you are right now as this person, but I have a preference that the person I spend my time with values this thing as well.

Yeah.

Expressing my preferences. And that could just be in general with like the clients that I work with. I have a preference that I work with these types of people. It doesn't mean other types of people are wrong. I just have a preference. What's your opinion on, what's your opinion on that?

100%, man. Like, your close relationships in life are the most difficult to navigate because I can have a preference with someone on the street that I have a 10 minute conversation with and then I never see them again. And that preference, that preference doesn't matter. The people that I'm living with, the people that I see on a weekly basis, what I work with, obviously you're going to clash at some point. It's a matter of like, this sounds cliche, but it is. It's a matter of compromise. Like, you can understand and accept the differences between whether it be a partner or a boss or a colleague and then move forward with a middle ground that makes sense for both of you. Like, I think understanding each other's preferences, like, obviously I have an opinion with my partner because, like, I'm not just going to say nothing during the day and not talk to her. Like, the close people in your life are always going to know where you stand on things and what topics in your life. And I think a level of similarity is probably healthy, but there's also, you're also going to clash on things and that's fine. Like, like you're allowed to have preferences that differ and coming to a point where you can compromise and go, I accept that that's your opinion, that's fine. Like, I'm not going to argue with you, I'm not going to try and change your opinion. Like, that's, you've developed that over your life through whatever experiences you've been through. But this is my opinion on this. If there's action required, can we come up, can we come up with a middle ground that suits both of us and realistically that's the only way to go about it? And if that doesn't work, then maybe the relationship's not destined, you know, I mean, like, if you can't. If there's something that's so divisive that you can't come to a compromise, then yeah, it's. Then that probably is an issue. But, like, you're always going to clash with people that are close in your life on certain things. Like, you're not the same person.

Yeah. You just nailed the point about being able to have that conversation, which a lot of people struggle with. They can't have a conversation where there is no expectations or there is no requirement for someone to be someone. It's like a conversation where that other person's allowed to be who they are in that moment without you having to change them. And it's having open dialogue to be like, okay, can we come to an agreement where this behavior changes? And what do you need from me so you can. So you can be supported in doing that? How can I support you? You know?

Yeah.

Is such a different. Different lens when you come out relationships from that angle. It's like you're not here to change anyone. The role of the relationship. I think we've spoken about this before in the past. The role of the relationship is to give you more awareness of the areas in your life where you're maybe not free yet or you're still blocked or not whole, you know?

Yeah. It's accepting and allowing for change. That's what, like, it's still. It's still a practice for me. Like, I. I catch myself sometimes, like, thinking, oh, like, I wish she hadn't done that, or like, I wish she hadn't said that. Like, because it's an attachment to your personality. Like, they've become an extension of you. Right. Same as anything else in your life. And then all of a sudden, because of that, you now want to control certain things. Because it's. It's not just them. It's a representation of you, especially in social settings or in family gatherings. It's a real practice to go, this is who you are. I'm okay with that. Like, be. Be what you want. Say what you want, do what you want. Like, that's who you are. And then within your lives, you can acknowledge the things that. That you're trying to improve and allow. Allow space for that improvement to happen. Like, I've got things that I'm trying to improve. Meg's well aware of those things, and I try to work towards that and vice versa. You know what I mean? Like, it's. It's allowing that Change to occur and allowing space for that change to occur, and then accepting that if the change doesn't go exactly how you wanted, that's also okay. Like, it's a natural progression of life. Like, everyone's gonna change.

Yeah, that's big. That's a big acknowledgement that everything is constantly changing. Constantly.

What's the analogy? It's the butterfly paradox, isn't it? Yeah. You spend all your time trying to. Trying to catch the butterfly in your hands, and then as soon as you catch it, it's no longer beautiful. You're trapping it from the world and you can't see it anymore. Like, life can only persist when you let go of trying to catch it and hold it in one position. It's not meant to be stagnant.

Yes.

Like, it. It has to flow. Like, it's constantly flowing, and as soon as you try to lock it down and stop it, it loses all. It loses all beauty. It loses all momentum.

Yeah. So true, bro. And so true. To acknowledge as well. Like when you. When a man in a relationship, to acknowledge that the feminine nature, the natural essence of a female, is that constant flux, constant change, constant, constant flow with whatever's coming up in the moment. And then as our essence is the masculine, to be, like the presence, to be connected to our attention, to be. To hold the space for the feminine to be in its flow, you know, to. To honor and, like, accept that, like your. That your role as a man, which is to bring safety to the feminine so that she can be in her flow. It requires, like, an element of, like, ownership, you know, ownership in. In yourself, to do the work on yourself so that you can be that container. Be that space for your. For your partner to be. To feel fully herself, you know, and that. That's. It's like responsibility, self responsibility. I find, for me in my relationship has been really powerful. If there's something that, you know, I'm not happy about, that she's doing okay. That's my responsibility right now. Let's just look at what that's bringing up inside of me. How can I make peace with this? What do I need to give myself to let go of whatever resentment I'm holding on to, you know? Yeah, it's been. It's been really bad relationships, man. We've been. We've done a few podcasts on this, right?

Yeah, it's because it's the most challenging thing by far in my life. It always has been. Like, it's very easy to live by yourself if you're comfortable with yourself. And I'm like, I am. I have no issue living, like, by myself. And I can tell you right now that I would be content by myself for the rest of my life, but I don't want to be at the same time. You know what I mean? I get such happiness, love, and joy by sharing my life with someone, but the challenges that that brings up are also something that I've got to overcome. Like having someone that lives with you in your space, that you share life experiences with, that you have different perspectives and opinions of life, like, that is the ultimate challenge for me, man. I can deal with the external world. I've made peace with the external world, but I've let people into my internal world and now I have to deal with that. Yeah. So there's plenty to talk about, but I suppose it's just an exaggerated component of everything else. Like, it's the same. I think it's the same approach that you approach everything else with a sense of acceptance and love. And it's. Yeah, it's just. It's just a. It'll be a constant practice, man, for the rest of my life.

Agreed.

Agreed.

The most. The most important spiritual practice you'll ever have. Yeah.

Yeah, that's right, man.

I'm feeling it might be time to wrap this up. I got to get ready for my soccer game real soon.

Exciting. Mine got cancelled today, unfortunately. Otherwise I'd be there as well, unfortunately.

I'm sorry to hear that. As normal, it kind of feels like time takes a completely different lens when we start talking, man. It's hard to believe an hour's gone by already, but, dude, 100 episodes. It's been really, really special to get to this point, and I'm really glad we got to record this special moment together. We've recorded the first one together, recorded the 50th one together. Now we've recorded the hundredth one.

So it's been a privilege, mate, to see how far you've taken this. It's been amazing to have any part to play in it. So, yeah, it's. It's phenomenal. I'm very, very, very happy to be a part of the hundredth.

Thank you.

Hopefully many more to come.

For sure. For sure. And yeah, let's. Let's make sure that we. We keep these coming because I know people really appreciate our perspective and also your perspective and your lens and sharing your wisdom and who knows, maybe. Maybe we can get some more in person podcasts coming out when I get out to Sydney soon, but down at Bondi, mate. Yeah. Cold swim in the morning, have to do some breath work, get some podcasts going. Yeah, sounds good to me. All right, brother, thank you so much for, for your time and cheers, mate. See you real soon. Hey, there we have it, guys. Thanks so much for listening to this episode and yeah, look, if you made it this far, cool. Here's my voice again in your ear and I'm gonna make one more request for you is go ahead and subscribe and leave a comment on the podcast page because I'm really putting a lot of focus and attention on getting this podcast out to more people because I know what I'm putting in here can serve and bring value to people and it would mean a lot if you got value from this to leave some feedback and subscribe. So you stay up to date with what's coming up and as always, follow me on Instagram and love hearing from you. It's dateshifters until the next episode, guys. Thank you so much and I appreciate you.