SSP 118: From Good to Extraordinary Alex Waters on Stepping into Authenticity and Living

Hey, what's going on, guys? Welcome back to the podcast. Really great to have you here with me. Really looking forward to diving into this conversation with you today. Just we're in a bit of a world tour right now, currently in Mexico, in Tulum, and I've spent some time in Portugal, spent some time in other places around Europe. And while I've been traveling and flowing, I've been meaning to capture some of these really important conversations that I want to share with you with some really important people in my life. And today's guest is one of those people, Mr. Alex Waters. He's been on the podcast before. Great friend of mine from back in Perth, Western Australia, playing a big game in life. And you know, I'm all about playing a big game and I love just having conversations with these types of people.

And I wanted to just capture it.

And really talk about what's present for both of us currently as we're both navigating, living in different countries. He's about to move out to Bali and Alex runs Workspace Co, which is a virtual assistant business. And he's also a powerful coach, actually coaches men and women. And we went through a program together. We went through Elementum Coaching Institute, which was a nine month coaching journey which leveled us up in a big way. So we connect and relate on a lot of these topics that we explore today together. And today we go into some of the big ones, like really how to step into your authenticity, how to release shame, what to do when you fall back into your vices, how to overcome that. What do you do when you're having difficult times and you're navigating the heaviest seasons in life? And I know you're going to get some good perspectives and good insights from this conversation. If you enjoy it, please give it a like or subscribe. If you haven't already, send me a message on Instagram @jordancanla. Show 1 if you if you resonated with what we shared today and make sure to give Alex a follow as well. Stay tuned to the end because we, we talk about some, some upcoming retreats.

That Alex is hosting.

All right, guys, enjoy this conversation with Al.

All right, my bro, Alex Waters. Welcome back, brother. State Shifters podcast. How's it going, bro?

It's an honor to be here, man. I love the State Shifters podcast.

Yeah, it's just a shame that we're doing this long distance, you know, after what, a year and a half, two years of living around the corner from each other, it's ended up a podcast from opposite ends of the world, whatever. We made it. That's how it always is. That's it, man. Well, yeah, it's great to have you back on here because for those who don't know, Alex was on the podcast back in 2021. I think it was following our first tow journey together, our five Meo journey. And it was really just after we'd started hanging out and I just started connecting with you and since then, you know, man, we've shared some really special moments. Some of the best memories of my life have been shared with you and like you're now one of my best friends and it's, it's such a, such an honor to be able to share life with you. And you know, the hard part now about being so far away is that we only get these, these calls to catch up with each other. Whereas before it was like a few times a week. So man, I'm just really, really looking forward to diving deep with you today and sharing your wisdom with, with all the people listening or watching. But mate, give us an update. What's. What's currently present in your life? What's currently, yeah, what's, what's the current landscape looking like for you? You're about to embark on a big move, so give us an update.

Yeah, well, yeah, so I'm in Perth. I moved to Bali in three weeks. That's really exciting. I also have a almost four year old son, Atlas. You know, he's going to stay in Perth with his mum. So that's bringing up some challenges and some guilt and sadness around, you know, leaving him. Even though I'm going to be coming back and still connected some present present to that. My house is being emptied right now. So, you know, I'm literally selling everything I feel like my body, spiritually, energetically, emotionally. I'm going through a huge purge and just like a huge letting and physically as well. Right. Like literally selling everything like this water bottle here that I'm using right now, I will be getting rid of it. You know what I mean? Like it's everything. So that's been huge. And yeah man, what I'm, what I'm actually really most present to right now is I've been going through what feels like a down, you know, in the roller coaster of life, the ups and the downs. Feels like I'm in a down right now and I keep being challenged in these spaces to find a deeper level of trust and meaning in it. Yeah, because I think it's so easy to judge the down as like, ah, fuck, I'm not feeling that good right now, or life's not good, or this is going unwell, like this isn't going well, but you kind of can't have the summer without the winter and the spring. And so, yeah, just weathering the storm. Doing my best not to run from it.

Yes. And I mean for people like us. And I know we connect on so many levels and we share kind of the same philosophy of, like, we just want to feel good all the time, be crushing it and getting lots of shit done and feeling super clear within it, in our heads. And when the times that we're not. I can speak for myself and I know you relate to this as well. I'm really hard on myself or I'm judging myself or I'm trying to, you know, like, my OCD brain kicks in, was like, maybe my sleep was a little bit off, maybe I had too much of this at night or something. And I start to look at all these little things when maybe it's just, it's just a season. Like you're sharing. It's just something that you're going through right now. And I'm curious to know if you've. If you've gone much into astrology. And this is. I'm sharing this because this is recent for me. I'm living with my friend right now and he's deep into astrology. He kind of, he's given me some insights around how to understand the, the planets, where they're situated. Reading my chart and understanding that certain times of the year, of the day, of like, of your life, you're going to be going through certain energetic shifts that you literally can't control. And understanding that has kind of helped me surrender a little bit more to, hey, this is just, you know, my moon's in, like, Aries right now. This is something that, you know, okay, some shit's going to come up right now. I'm curious to know if you've explored that much, man, because we haven't really spoken about it.

I have. About a year and a half ago, I had my Vedic astrology chart read and it gave me a lot of, like, just. I wasn't looking for answers, but sort of told a story and painted a picture of certain patterns and things that I've been dealing with in my life that was like, hey, it's all good. Like, this is actually what you're here to experience in this lifetime so you can relax. And it was funny because a couple of things that were said was, one was, Alex, you've been a Very wealthy man, many lifetimes over. So money really comes easily to you. But it doesn't happen like that for everyone. And that's the thing I've just never understood, like even in, I've only just recently, this year started or last year, started teaching other people about money. But before that I almost didn't feel qualified to because I'm like, I don't know how I do it. I just don't have a thing that stops me from doing it. So that's been really fascinating to really look at. So that was one thing. And then another thing was, Alex, you've been, in past lifetimes, you've been very suppressed, you've been a monk in a restrictive environment, you've often inhibited these leadership type roles that you've had to play a certain mask. And so if you find it hard to connect with your emotions in this lifetime, like, that's okay. This is the first, this is the lifetime where you're learning how to do that. It's been like, ah, okay, like I'm not up, basically, you know, I'm not up. I'm just here taking my time. You know, this is part of the journey. So yeah, I found a lot of peace in that. And, and I think the other, the other thing that Vedic astrology gives you when you look at specific times is also gives the egoic mind a bit of reassurance like, ah, fuck, it is gonna end. Because often I know for me, like at least in the last two weeks I've had moments of just being like doomsday, like, ah, I'm stuck in this space, like no clarity, questioning everything. And then my mind starts to paint a picture like this is what it's going to be like forever. This is your life now, which isn't true.

So man, tell me, tell me more about how you navigate these, these low times. Because yeah, like we're saying, you know, it's, it's one well and good to be able to talk about it when you're, when you're not in it, but when you're in it, it can be so difficult sometimes to just zoom out for a moment and give yourself what it is that you need. Because like we were just talking about offline. It can be so easy to just be pulled back into all our old patterns and vices. And I'd love to know, I guess, like what, how you navigate this is it, you know, like, what are you, what's the first thing you go to?

The first thing I go to in myself is my health. I'M like, okay, where's your health at? How much water are you drinking? What are you eating? What are you consuming? Oftenly? Often I'll head into like a juice fast at some point. I did a three day juice fast last weekend because I find that that just helps to cleanse and detoxify the system. And it's not about, it's not about fixing anything. But what I realize when I'm in these periods is my body, physically, spiritually, emotionally, energetically is, is detoxifying so that I can experience more of what I'm stepping into. Like, it's letting go of the old stuff, which is why the shadows come up, in my opinion. Because if they weren't, if they didn't have power over me anymore, they wouldn't be there. Right? Like, I don't really get tempted by alcohol anymore. That's a really old thing for me. But it doesn't even come up anymore. I haven't had a drink for like three months, you know, and in this period I haven't been like, I need a drink hasn't come up once. Whereas porn, jacking off, social media. Yes, those are the things that I've been really confronted with. And so. So yeah, man, I think it is difficult at times, definitely. And I just go back to what I'm resourced or how I can resource myself to navigate it. So one, health, two, get support. You know, I work with coaches, I talk to friends. I don't hold it all in myself and I don't try to hide it from myself or from others. And like, I lead a lot of clients, right? So I'm even sharing stuff that's going on for me right now with my clients. Like, hey, this is what I'm navigating right now. I've been feeling a lot of anger coming up. This is how I'm approaching it and processing it and moving through it. The third thing is not trying to get out of it because that's been a big mistake that I've made in the past where I've just spent weeks doing mushrooms, breathwork, meditating, all to try and change where I was at to like a higher frequency or, you know, basically feeling more energetic again. And I think that's also a way of bypassing or skipping over the medicine that's in this phase. And yeah, man, finally I think I just remind myself, like, why is this coming up now? And when I look at, when I look forward in my life, I'm moving to Bali in three weeks. I've proclaimed, I've Declared that this is the year I'm going to meet my queen. So, you know, I'm moving to Bali, going to meet my queen, stepping into a new level of community, which involves and requires more intimacy and openness for me to experience what I want with community. And so it's like, of course all this shit's coming up. It's so that I can experience that, so that I don't get there and just like, sabotage it all with all these patterns that are still here, obviously, you know, so, yeah, yeah. And. And I'm just learning more and more. It's difficult at times, but I'm learning not to judge this phase. It's like sometimes when I'm at my worst, I still get ridiculous insights. Like last year when I was going through a phase like this, I had multiple clients tell me that they had their best coaching sessions ever with me whilst I in. In myself was like, fuck life. I'm not doing good right now. Fuck this shit. You know? And they're like, wow, that was amazing. Alex's session. And I'm like, what the fuck? So. And the other day I just signed on, like, you know, multiple new clients did XYZ just out of nowhere. So it's like, bro, I don't know who. I don't have control over this.

So that's it. It's God's plan. God's plan, exactly. I think we have a plan, but, yeah, there's a bigger, bigger plan for us and. Exactly. Dude. I read something in a book the other day. It was. It was really. It was really on point. It was like, life or God will never bring something up out of our shadow if he doesn't think we're ready for it. So it was like, such great reassurance for me because I was like, if there's something coming up right now that is really uncomfortable or something I've been avoiding and it's creating havoc in my life, clearly I'm now ready to face it, otherwise it wouldn't be happening. This is allowed for such a. Just a relaxation of like, okay, cool. Clearly, I'm now ready to address this thing that's been in the shadow all along. It's now coming up into the light. And it sounds like for you, I've noticed your expansion is like, you're just. You're fucking all or nothing, man. I love it. I just love that about you. You just play a big game, probably the biggest game that I anyone I know in my life. And I talk about you to a lot of my friends. My man, you gotta meet my friend Alex. He's a fucking all in guy. And you know, man, it's just like the cost, it's like the price of playing life like this, I guess you have these extreme highs, extreme impact, and then you have to go through intense lows. And I guess a lot of celebrities and artists and people who play at the big level have to go through this. I'd love to hear more about, I guess, where you think that comes from, because for a lot of people, especially who are striving in business, particularly coaches in our world, you know, they really struggle with the business side of things. The business thing is the hardest thing to crack. Right? They crack all the emotional and spiritual stuff. But the business thing is hard for you. It's easy. Do you know, have you got any understanding of why that is and what kind of character traits have you developed that have allowed you to just, just make money, like crush it in business so easily? Do you know what they are?

Yeah, well, thanks for sharing all of that, bro. And I really appreciate the acknowledgment in that. And I, I'm also having a conversation with myself right now of like, how am I not playing big? You know, because in reality, if I put myself in a different pond, I'm a really small fish. I'm just at a big fish in a small pond right now. And I think for me that that's why I'm going through this period right now of growth, because it's like I'm trying to setting myself up for a bigger, bigger game to be able to play a bigger game, because I'm limiting myself in so many ways, just like we all are. But to answer your question, the reason I believe that business is easy for me to a point is like I'm very good at just building a business, a service based business to a million dollars. I know how to do that in my sleep. A million dollars in revenue. And the reason for that is that I've been doing it a long time. You know, I'm 33, but really since the age of 23 when I became a commission only sales rep is when I started playing the game of business or generating my own income, doing marketing, building a personal brand, all of that. So I just have thousands and thousands of hours of experience and wisdom and learned lessons behind me that I think a lot of people my age adjusted, starting with, you know, they've just, they've made it to 28, made it to 30. They decided to just start a business and I was like, doing it seven, 10 years ago. So, so there's definitely the experience part of it, which is why it feels like a language to me that I, I understand and fluent in and many people don't understand. And yeah, I think that it also helps that I have achieve certain results that in society's eye, tick a box of like, experience or want to learn from. Like, I've made a lot of money in my life, I've made a lot of money and I've done it whilst I've traveled, whilst I've been traveling or, and, or had time, freedom. And I think that that's, that's a big box that helps me now where I just put something out and people know that oh, this is all his experience so we want to learn from him. I think the biggest characteristic that I have is once I decide on what I want, I don't allow anything to get in the way of that. And I, I talk about and teach something I call the law of requirement and that is that when you require something, it will require you. But what you require, you then have to make a series of decisions in your life around that requirement. And far too often people make their goals, dreams, desires, a want, not a requirement. So it's like if I, if I want to have a million dollar business, well, there's an option, there's an out. I'm not going to be all in. If I require that I have a million dollar business and I'm starting at zero and I've got no experience, then it's like, okay, well fuck, I need to make some changes and some decisions around it. How do I make that happen? Okay, well, I'm going to have to give up the alcohol, I'm going to have to give up, you know, all of the ineffective patterns that are in my way now. I'm going to also have to go and ask for mentors that are already at that level or above that can help me get there quickly. I'm also going to have to work X number of hours and I'm going to have to get myself in the gym to be healthy so I have the energy. It's like all of those things that come into alignment with that, right? So I think that's it. I've just never, I just always make my dreams a requirement.

I'd love to know how you do that because everyone's probably thinking, okay, that's great, but how do you make something a requirement if even if you know, because I know you know this as well. None of it, none of it. Matters, like, once you get, you know, I mean, like, once you get past like, 80 grand a year and you're consistently making that, you can afford all the things that make you comfortable and, you know, you get your holidays, you eat good food, this rubber is. It becomes another challenge to make. I want to make a million dollars in my business to make it a requirement. Even when I'm like, I'm comfortable, I'm happy, like, I'm content.

Yeah, well, I get that. And I heard Cody Sanchez, she's a investor on Instagram. She has an Instagram thing. I heard her say, my life really changed when I realized a million dollars wasn't a lot of money. And that's kind of how I feel. So for me right now, how I stay driven and committed to the goals that I have is I start to think about my future. Okay, so let's put it like this, Jordan. Right now, you know, you don't have any children. I've got one child. I want to get married in the future and have more children. So right now in my life, I can afford to fly business class around the world, typically, because it's usually just me traveling. If it was me, a wife and three kids, plus Atlas, my. My son, that's six people. All right. How many times a year can I afford to fly business class now with. When I'm paying for six tickets? Maybe once or twice now at a stretch. Yeah. You know, there's only so many frequent flyer points with my credit card I can maneuver around now. So that's what keeps me motivated, bro. Because I'm like, I don't have the wealth in my bank at this point in time to hold the life that I say I want. So that's what keeps me going in that direction. And I also just want to create a legacy for my family. I want to create options for my children. And what else is there to do? Like, what else is there to do?

The thing. The thing that I see with you is there's. There's no. There's not a lot of procrastination. Like, once you decide you want to get something, it happens very quickly. And I know so many people struggle with procrastination, bro. Like, procrastination is the thing. And procrastination could. Could appear as insert way that you distract yourself or avoid doing the thing that you know you should be doing. And it's almost like there's something in the DNA. I think that's one aspect. Something in your DNA. And then this is for anyone who's A high achiever as a go getter is going out and crushing it. Because I also think it's your past, it's our past. Like it depends on your upbringing and the trauma and things like that starts to shape a certain part of us that is a high achiever that likes to go out and achieve things. Do you think it's possible for someone who doesn't have that? Maybe their, their protection mechanism wasn't the high achiever, it was something else. Do you think it's still possible to rewire that for them to go from like not, not achieving a lot because their default is to just hide or play small? Procrastinate?

Yeah.

Yeah. Do you think it's possible to, to fully rewind that? Like, do you think there's a lot of millionaires or billionaires out there who were previously just like, like, you know, people that just. Yeah.

Anecdotally, I don't know the answer to that. To the last part of your question. Are there any millionaires out there that were previously procrastinators? But what I do know from my own personal experience is I procrastinate more, way more than what most people probably expect of me based on what I've achieved and experienced. You know, I think the biggest thing that I see getting procrastinators way is versus the high achiever is that often the high achiever is really good at enabling and using their, their anger at self or the world to fuel them forward. Often the procrastinator is just simply missing that step. And I, I heard recently, I don't know whether I heard this or I made it up or whatever. Right. But maybe I just downloaded it. But I heard that procrastination was a. Is a form of suppressed anger.

Yes, because that's good.

And it makes sense. It makes sense to me as well when I'm procrastinating more than usual in this like, low period that I'm going through. And bro, I just been tapping in. I've got a lot of anger, like a lot of anger coming up that just wants to move. And as soon as I let it out, I feel so much better. Because when we procrastinate, we're not actually procrastinating. Most procrastinators are still doing something in their life really, really effectively. But it might just look like YouTube and TikTok, right. Instead of whatever insert X, Y, Z activity that they want to actually, they say they want to actually achieve. So they're doing something really well with their time already. They're not procrastinating. Their energy is going somewhere, but they're usually distracting themselves from their life. And when we're distracting ourselves from our life, it's because we're running away from a feeling of discomfort. And the feeling of discomfort always starts in our body, and that is usually our emotions. So the procrastinator who starts to allow themselves to rage will allow themselves to rewire.

Oh, wow, that's juice, man. That's absolute juice right there. If someone's listening to this, I hope this is landing. Because anger directed at the self then turns into the apathy and the procrastination, the frustration. But anger that you then direct outward is then the purest form of masculine energy, which is action, movement, go. And that is. I honestly feel like that's the fundamental shift that needs to happen. It's like, what do you do with the anger? Do you let it, like, limit you and constrain you and restrict you and internalize it, which then pulls you into hole, which I know a lot of people get stuck in, man. People get stuck in these holes because there's all this suppressed. Especially if you're a man, right? Like, if you're a man and you've got suppressed rage and anger and you just internalize all of that, it just starts to eat away at you and it makes you really, like, weak, right? Especially men become weak, man. I see this because of, you know, been coaching guys now for the last over a year. And it's. It's such a key, critical component of stepping into your power as a man is learning how to harness that anger and use it. Get angry about not having the shit that you want, you know? Yeah. And. Yeah, channel. Yeah.

It's a signal. It's a signal, right? Like when we. When we block our emotions, especially our anger, even if we're blocking our anger at self, because procrastinators aren't even feeling that. They're just. They're just suppressing it and letting themselves sit in what you called apathy. Like, the anger is a fucking signal. It's a fucking signal. I'm not happy right now. Something needs to change. You know, like, I really used my anger as a. As a valid signal of like, bro, listen, listen. You're not happy with your alignment right now, or you're not happy with something going on in the world right now, so you get to shift something. And yeah, it's powerful. I read the other day as well, someone sent me a message saying anger is. Anger is a signal. Or we usually experience anger because of underneath the anger is sadness or fear. And I think to speak to these guys who are, you know, suppressing their anger and then just losing their power. Yeah, it's like, yeah, I do get angry when I'm afraid sometimes including at myself of feeling afraid sometimes and just feeling it is healthy because it's all good and we all get afraid.

I mean, I notice I get so angry at myself when I fall back into old, when I feel like I'm wasting time, get angry at myself. I noticed that recently. And if I'm not being productive with my time, I get angry at myself. And it's even, even the subtleness of that. If you don't direct that anger outwards as a form of expression, it stays inwards and starts to accumulate as the, this, this, this unsettledness. It's like. And I think, I know a lot of people have this unsettledness. There's this, like, agitation. There's this feeling of frustration or stuckness that's just accumulating. That's why we drink alcohol, that's why we smoke weed, that's why we smoke the nicotine, just to alleviate that. On the other side of it, what I also know to be true is that once, once you've cleared the, the channels and, and you're working in flow or in harmony and you've got some movement and momentum and what you're trying to create and, and we've all been in these places and you go through periods where you're just like fully in the flow and things are just creating and manifesting spontaneously. And I believe it's like the presence of God that then starts to operate through us when we're in that place of, you know, I have a plan, but God also has a plan. There is a higher plan that when we are clear internally, it starts to move us in places that we, we didn't even think was possible. And recently I was just saying to you offline, I was like, really been trying to deepen that relationship with this, with my higher power. I'm choosing to call it God because I believe in God. And I know that was triggering for people. Bro, I posted something on fucking Instagram the other day and people were hating on me because I said, strengthen your relationship with God. I couldn't believe it. The word holds so much triggering because I think people are, I don't, I don't think disenfranchised is the word, but they're just disconnected from this higher power having a connection with a faith, something larger than themselves. I believe it's the cornerstones. It's so significant. I'd love to hear more about, I guess, your relationship with God. And I don't know if you call it God, but it's just a higher power and. And how you start to connect and allow that, that, that. That power to move you. Yeah, I would love to learn more about that and why. Why it's important for you, because I know it is.

Yeah. Firstly, I don't think God is selective, and I don't think that God is only working when we feel good. And I think a lot of people are disenfranchised. I do actually like that word for disenfranchised with the notion of God, because they are refusing to step into the space of alchemy and they're a victim to their life, AKA what God has delivered for them, you know, and.

Yeah, that's it. Nailed it.

Yeah. And like, the thing is, bro, you know, when we look at some of the world's biggest heroes, you know, Nelson Mandela as one, like, some of these people have been dealt the biggest, toughest lessons, journeys and pain. Like, that dude was in prison, I think, for 22 or 27 years under the white colonial rule in South Africa. You know, I think he's. He missed out on his children's life, like, up, you know, their upbringing. They didn't barely got to see him, like, you know what I mean? Like, that's an intense amount of pain and suffering for one human to have to go through and for him to experience all aspects of himself, like fighting for a cause that was good, but also committing sin during that, like, setting up to kill people and things like, that was such an intense ride. And for him to come through and we, We. We sort of put him up like he was a saint, really, because that man came through all of that and alchemized all of that and was able to be love, be the embodiment of love, unconditional love. So for me, I'm very connected with the truth of my own experience, which is that pain and grief is like a river that widens the banks of love. And when I'm faced with challenge, like I am now and discomfort, I believe that they are reminders for me to come back to my connection with God, even though God is working through me always, you know, so it's like all of it is God, and it's just a reminder for me to come back into connection with the higher source. So, yeah, I don't believe there's anything right or wrong about Any particular path. But I truly believe that the opportunity for us all, when we do choose to connect with God and trust in a higher power, is that we truly connect into our higher power. And that, for me, is when we're living a life on purpose in flow, time collapses. You know, things that shouldn't happen, like crazy, insane things just start unfolding in life. That's when we're really, like, in the flow and. Yeah, fully connected in with our power. People, you know, heal their bodies, heal illnesses, like just attune. Attune to the magic and wisdom of this experience and the universe.

Do you sense or do you feel like there are, I'm going to say, dark forces currently trying to siphon our connection with God or trying to. I'm using very big words right now, but trying to pull souls away from the connection with God. And these dark. This is what I believe anyway. I'm curious to get your perspective on it. These dark forces, you could call them the devil, reveal themselves through these little temptations, you know, these temptations that are everywhere. Come like, come watch porn or come like, have sex with these random girls, or come like, smoke weed and drink alcohol and party and do all these things. These temptations, they're all there all the time. And then in front of us. Always, bro, Always. I was like, I caught myself the other day. I was. I must have walked into some store and a song was playing, and the song got stuck on my head and I couldn't get out of my head. Some Maroon 5 song is just absolute trash repeating in my head. And I was realizing, this is.

This is like a prayer.

I'm singing a. I'm singing a prayer to myself that is programming my subconscious. And I didn't have control of how it got in there. And it was dark. It was. Why am I singing these words to myself? I didn't have control of that. And the next day I was like, you know, I'm gonna control what goes into my head. And I started listening to gospel songs the next morning. I programmed this worship song into my head. I was singing it all day, and I was like, there we go. I'm actually singing some positive, like, words that are bringing me closer to God. And I'm shamed because these dark forces are there in very subtle ways that I guess I want people to just be really wary of what they allow in because I feel like the subconscious is feeding on everything that's around us. And it's either pulling us close to God or further away, if you choose to call it that I'd love to know more about how you're. I guess, how you manage temptation because it's just an inevitable part of life and being a man especially, right?

Yeah. Well, I don't actually believe that there are. I don't believe that there are, like, there's like a dark force and a light force. Like, I actually believe, like, God is all of it. And the thing that I believe you're calling a dark force, I see is just human nature. Like, it's. It's our human egoic nature to want to grab the attention of others. And there have been enough people in society that have figured out how to do that on bigger scales. And then we're like, think about it. We're all just enrolling each other all day long in our. In us, in what's going on for us. And so we just get really, really good at doing that through many different forms. And, you know, I think whatever's. Everything's just a reflection of, like, where the collective consciousness is at any particular point in time and moment, like songs and lyrics and all that stuff. So there is that. And yeah, there's definitely some, you know, some people who are really disconnected in this world that are moving from a place of power, control, and, you know, and influence. So, yeah, that's. That's that part. How do I manage temptation, I don't deny it, is the first thing. So I went to a tantra course last year, and the teacher told us of a story of these old villages where they used to. A man and a woman in the village would get married for 51 weeks of the year. So they would commit to marriage for 51 weeks, and then everyone in the village would do this. And then the last week of the year, they would enter a period of hedonism where all the marriages were dissolved and they would go out into the forest. They would all just. And do whatever the fuck they wanted for a week. Anyone could. Anyone. All good. If any woman fell pregnant during that week, then the child was raised as a child of the village. And everyone raised him because no one knew who the father was, because everyone was everyone. And after that week, they all came back and they could choose to recommit to another 51 weeks of marriage with their previous partner or with someone else. And often it was with the previous, you know, the same partner. And I. Something really resonated with me about that that was like I'd been living a life up until this point, trying to solve, like, clear my body of these desires to, you know, go and drink alcohol and take heaps of MDMA and party or go and have sex with, like, different people and just have a wild time. And I was like, wow, I feel so much approval from this parable, from this story that I've never felt before. And I actually went and did that over the new year. I went away. I, you know, took heaps of md, I went by myself to a huge festival, you know, had sex. I didn't have sex at the festival, but over the sort of month of December, January, Christmas, period, had sex with a few different people, just let myself have different experiences. And then after that, I was ready to switch it off again. I was ready just to go into my flow. So there's something to be said for that. And I do know that you do that pretty well too. Like, not saying that you dissolve your relationship or anything like that, but, you know, you. You have been. You went to Europe, you had a great time. And so I think it's important to honor the cycles and seasons that we naturally want to be in. And then during the time of discipline, let's call it, I'm just clear on what my objective is and what I'm focused on and what's important to me at that point in time. And that's how I manage temptation. If I find myself getting caught in temptation, like I've already mentioned earlier in this chat, the big one for me is masturbation and Instagram. Then I'll call myself out to a friend or a coach. I'll just confront that part of me that doesn't want to be honest, and I'll be honest about it to someone else who I know can hold me in that. And then I'll. I'll make a commitment. So I recently, literally yesterday, this last month, I found myself, you know, jacking off at least once a day. Sometimes I've had a day or two break, but it's been like, I haven't done that in a long time, right this last month, it's been a long time since I've had that. So just called a friend and I was like, yo, I know you're the person that I feel most accountable to around this thing. Just letting you know, I'm committing to three weeks, no ejaculation at all. Can I just check in with you daily to let you know how I'm feeling? He was like, of course, man. Totally. That's it. Just getting power over the mind. And we can't get power over the mind until we're honest with ourselves. And it's always that honesty with ourselves first and then with other people. That usually is the thing that most of most people are avoiding.

Yes, yes, man. A few things you shared there, nuggets. Thank you for just being so honest, man. It's like a transparent. That's one thing people really admire about you, especially me, is the radical honesty that you bring. And in a friendship, it's so great when you have a friend that is just so upfront. And you've always been that for me, which has been really amazing. I'm so grateful for it. But I hear about the hedonism, right? And we've spoken about this before. It's like, it's almost like the hedonism has a place and if we deny the hedonism, it creeps up on you. But I'm going through this phase right now because I'm the same as you, man. I will go through it. I'll do. I have the parties, mdma, the ketamine. I've tried all the things and then, and then I come out the other side of it. Okay, I'm good now. I'm good. For the next six months I can go back into my, into my zone. But then I've been thinking about if my primary goal or the underlying cornerstone of everything that I do is to have a strong relationship with God. How would God be with me if I'm going out and doing these things? Even if it's just like every now and then, is he okay with that? Is he, you know, is that forgiven? Is that accepted?

And do I want to put myself.

In these environments where these so called dark energies that I'm speaking about are just like everywhere, fucking everywhere. And is that okay? And I guess only I can answer that.

I don't think you're asking about God's judgment in that. I think you're asking about your own judgment. Because in my experience, if it was wrong, it wouldn't exist. And we all just get to have personal discernment. And also there's times in my life where I've gone years without having an experience like that. And there are also ways that you can have those experiences without it being unclean or dirty or lower vibration or, you know, in environments that you're talking about, which is, you know, where you come out being like, what the did I just do?

You are not someone that's afraid of the shadow. I think that's the theme or what people are getting from this conversation. I hope they're getting that as you are someone who is not like not Afraid of going there. Whatever's in the dark is like, you'll go straight into it. And that is like a warrior element that's. That's in you. And there's something that I really admired about you, you know, through all the retreats that I've been a part of and seeing your growth and evolution, just the willingness to show your full self. And even though your full self is changing rapidly, you're always presenting your full self to people around. This is what's going on for me right now. Like, you don't hide a lot of things. And more specifically, your story around how you met Atlas that you shared on your retreats, you take people through an exercise where you share the story around, not how you met Atlas. Sorry, how Atlas was brought into this world, how you met your. Your ex partner, is one of the most profound stories I feel like I've heard in this realm of facing off with your own darkness. More specifically shame, to be exact. And I've brought you on to calls. One of the calls with one of my previous men's programs, and you shared this same story. And it was one of the most powerful calls that I know all of those guys got to experience. And so transformative. I'm bringing this up because I'd love for people listening to hear. Hear about it, if they haven't already. And also for you to speak to why shame is. Is so significant. Why. Why, as men especially, we got to bring it out of the dark and just. Just own it and share it and be seen in it. Yeah, man. I'm curious to know if you're willing to share just your own journey with shame and.

Definitely.

Right? Yeah.

Well, yeah. Thank you. And, yeah, so back in 2017, I went to an event called the Bridge Experience and Extreme Leadership. Two different weekends with my mentor. Now mentors, Preston Smiles and Alexi Panos. Beautiful people. Amazing people. And there was an exercise in extreme leadership where we got the opportunity to stand up in front of a room naked and share the thing that we've been holding on to the most shame around. Now, before we did this, before we even knew this was coming, they had like a mini version of it. We're just with clothes on. And like, I did what I always had done my entire life, and I did this at the Bridge Experience, where they had another version of this, like a mini version.

Right.

And I stood up in front of a group of eight people in my.

Group, and I was like, the thing.

That I've been holding on to guilt and shame about is I Cheated on my ex girlfriend five times, you know, blah, blah, blah. And I feel really guilty. I shared something that was just good enough that would like, tick the box, you know, I could coast in this environment and like, no one was going to come after me and be like, yo, you shared something super surface level. But for me, it wasn't the thing that I'd held the most guilt and shame about. And so I did that in this little small group. Then we all sat down, the whole room, 58, 60 people. And I was like, fuck. I was having this conversation myself. Like, fuck, how long are you gonna keep cheating yourself, man? Like, you keep selling out on yourself. You know, there's this thing, but you haven't told anyone. And I stood up in front of the room while Preston Alexi were talking, and I was like, excuse me, could I please share something? I didn't know the next thing was coming, right? And so I just, I was like, I keep. I keep not sharing the thing that is most true for me. And I remember looking at everyone around the room, like, just all these eyes on me. Must have been. There was 58 participants. It must have been like 70 people in the room, right? Everyone just looking at me, whole room silent when I stood up. Before I shared that I just cheated on my girlfriend. But I know that that's not the thing that I feel the most guilt and shame about. The thing that I have held the most guilt and shame about is that when I was 19, I contracted the human papillomavirus, which can cause genital warts. And since then, which was eight years ago at the time of that story, I've slept with a number of women and haven't disclosed to them. And I feel really guilty and I'm afraid that no one will love me if they know this. Started crying, took a huge breath and just like witnessed so much love being reflected back to me. Fast forward a month and I decided kind of in congruence with the trend that you say I just go to the extremes. I just decided I needed to feel more free. I need to feel free in my life. And so I jumped on a Facebook Live in December 2017 and I was living in Karatha in Western Australia. At that point is mining town of 20,000 people. I was as well known as the mayor. So I was the number one real estate agent in the area. Jumped on a Facebook Live and first time I opened it, shut it straight down.

It's like, what the fuck?

Pulled it up again after sitting in my car for five minutes and just like, breathing. And I went live and I shared that exact same thing on Facebook Live. It's now been seen by, like 4,000 people. Was back when Facebook lives actually got traction. And I felt so free after doing that. Now fast forward six months since December 2017. Fast forward to May 2018 after that point. Between that point, I just been on a huge journey six months, one to one, coaching with Preston, discovered psychedelics, had some huge mushroom journeys, journey with ayahuasca. Like, traveled to America, lived in Hawaii for, like eight weeks. You know, just was all over the place. Totally transformed my life. And I got back to Perth, and I'd met this woman. Her name is Sammy. And I was celibate at the time. I just entered six months of celibacy. And it was on our third date, I think that, like, we. When we met, we just. It was like an explosion of love. And I was like, holy shit, this is. This is it. And so we're sitting on my bed, and I'm like, hey, I think I'd like to break my celibacy with you. She's like, okay, yeah, cool, let's do that. And I'm like, but there's something I need to tell you first. And I went and told her the same thing. It was the first woman that I ever disclosed to. When I was 19, I contracted HPV that can cause genital warts. I don't have any symptoms right now, but, you know, I'm just letting you know. She was like, oh, Alex, I already know. And I was like, what?

How?

And she said, well, I saw your Facebook video. And I went. Literally pulled back my phone, and I was like, what? Because I didn't know how we connected on Facebook, but somehow we disconnected. One day, like, in April, it just popped up that she'd accepted a friend request from me. I don't even remember sending a friend request to this woman. And I went back and looked, and she just posted a love heart on it. Like, someone had shared it with her. And she just, like, posted a love heart. And I clicked on her ad friend. And yeah, man. Like, that's. That's Atlas's mom. You know, it's my son's mother. Like, she fell pregnant six weeks later with Atlas. And I just. I don't have any more direct evidence than that of, like, what happens when you actually show up authentically in your life and share the stuff that you're afraid of. And the more I've done this, the more. More work I've done around this, the more I share the More I coach others, the more I understand that every single human being is experiencing the same stuff. We're all experiencing intrusive thoughts. We've all done things in our past that we're not afraid of. Sorry. That we're not proud of. Maybe we've experienced parts of ourselves that we're afraid of. And we're afraid of it being seen because we are scared that we won't be loved. And I truly believe that this is the journey of healing in humanity is like to bring forth a new level of honesty. And I actually believe that it must start with men. Got to start with the men and us being honest with ourselves, with each other, and then being able to hold that space energetically for everyone else. Because what tends to happen is people just hide this stuff, they suppress it, and then everyone's just suppressing their stuff around each other. And so the moment someone. You know, it's like. It's like these marriages you hear of that you know that people have been together for 20 years, and then it's like the wife had an affair, the husband had an affair, and so what surprise. It's like the reason there was an affair is because there was a lack of honesty in the relationship. And, you know, this is where it starts. So, yeah, man, that's. That's that story. And that's also one of the exercises that I guide people through at the retreat. And it's highly transformational because. Yeah, just is. Just is.

Well, I can speak from experience after participating in that exercise at your retreat, that it was the most transformational for me. And because I feel like you have to be seen in your shame like this. Yeah, maybe. Maybe you don't have to, because I know there's other ways to give up your shame, but there's something really powerful in the speed of the transmutation when you allow yourself to be seen by other people in that. And you can almost feel like. You can almost feel when someone's hiding something, especially a man. You can feel a man when he's. He's not fully free. Don't you reckon? Especially as a bit of me and a coach. As long as you have the, you know straight away.

Totally. You can feel it in anyone. Men, women, everyone. You know, when you can, you can sense when someone is holding on to something and hiding it. And the example that I always give, because it's like, I'm not here to judge anyone. If someone wants to hold on to something, whatever, it's all good. But the example that I always use is that if someone on the inside, like their internal experience of themselves, their truest essence is a level volume 100. But on the outside, they're only sharing volume 30 because they're hiding all this stuff. And then unconsciously, when you hide one part, you're hiding another. If you're hiding, if you're, if you're holding on to shame around things and suppressing part of your character, you are. That's impacting everything. Well then what happens, bro, is like, you're only emitting volume 30 out here and what are you attracting? Your life. You attract volume 30 back when really inside you're 100. And that's why you go through life never feeling like life's hitting the spot, because you're not hitting the spot. That's why there's all these dudes out there and women who are earning a shitload of money, just like I was earning a shitload of money, you know, crushing it in life. Maybe even they have the perfect partner, maybe even they have kids. But something inside they're just like, I'm not feeling it. I still don't feel good about this. What's getting in my way? And most likely it's shame and emotional suppression. But shame is, is one of the biggest things that takes up so much energetic real estate in our bodies.

Totally agree, totally agree. And man, this is why the work that we do is so significant. Because a lot of the times we don't really have to do anything. We just show up as a space of. I'm clear this, I'm not hiding anything from you and I'm just here to listen to you with, with love and no judgment. And that alone sometimes is enough for someone who maybe have never been around, someone that with, that's not judging them, it's enough for them to just finally feel safe enough to open up. And yeah, you said it starts with men because I, I believe that when a man can hold that level of safety, the people around him just start to open up in, in all kinds of new ways, especially the, the women in his life. And it's, it's really amazing that I get to, you know, that I have such powerful men around me, bro. You know, and you, you definitely one of them. And it's, it's been an honor to.

Support you in your retreats as well.

You know, I've had the pleasure and the luxury of helping you facilitate, participating in your retreat and to see people's firsthand transformation. You know, there's something special about the in person experience that is different to an online coaching session. And I've really been exposed to so much through just being in, in your presence on your retreats and I'd love for you to just share a little bit more about that and give people a bit of an understanding of how they can learn more about these retreats. Because that's just one little portion. The shame work is one little portion of what you do. We won't reveal it all because it's, you know, a lot of it is, is the retreat stays at the retreat. But yeah, if you don't mind sharing.

Yeah, man, well, yeah, the, the infinite potential retreat is a, is a week long facilitated experience with where I facilitate plant medicine, psilocybin, mushrooms. We do breath work, meditation, yoga, sound healing, somatic work and healing different facilitated, you know, moments like what we've just shared and it's really, it's really like five years worth of therapy in a week. You know, it's like we all actually have stuff going on in our lives. Especially if you're a busy high performer, you've got stuff going on in your life naturally and things are coming up. And I personally believe that immersions are the best way to, to actually clear the most space in the shortest possible time. And that's why I run the retreat the way that I do. Because it's like you can go to the retreat, you're supported by an amazing team, you know, me and my team. And that space is set up for you to intentionally bring up anything that's not serving you within that time frame that you're there and then, and then integrate it so that you can go back to your life and like basically experiencing life in a whole new way, you know. So yeah man, we have a lot of fun at the retreats. It's such a powerful experience and I'm just a really, I'm just really passionate about helping people really unlock their limitless self, really unlock their capacity to experience life, love, all of it and tap into more abundance, tap into their, their actual, their animal inside. You know, this is for men and women and we do so much deep healing work with the masculine and the feminine. You know, people have come away from this retreat having healed a lifetime of trauma and you know, different, let's call it negative, relating with their parents, you know, their mum and their dad. They've been able to come away from this retreat and just totally shift their relationships in life. So yeah, that's the, that's a little bit about the retreat and I've got the next one coming up in July 2023. It's being held in the Algarve in Portugal at this beautiful place. We'll throw the link in, I'm assuming I'll give you the link and we'll throw it somewhere in the show notes so people can easily access it. But yeah, it's at this old abandoned village that's been totally converted. It's like legit, pristine. Amazing. Yeah, it's going to be a next level experience.

Man, taking it global. Now this is the exciting part. Now that we're allowed to get out of Western Australia. During COVID we were trapped for a while but now it's gone global. So no matter where you are listening to this, I would say suggest check it out, feel into this and as your work continues to expand, bro, out to Barley, it's who knows what's, what's going to open up from there and I'm just, yeah, hoping we. We cross paths again really soon and I know we will in the, in the next few months and beyond. But man, I just wanted to say thank you for, for coming on here, having this conversation. Thank you for just sharing so honestly and authentically with with me and the, the guys listening. We can get a clear picture of what you're about in your life by how you showed up in this conversation. And this is Alex all the time. Just what you see is what you get. I love that about you, bro. And yeah, what's your Instagram handle, man? If you want to follow you, yeah.

At Alexander Waters, hit me up on Instagram, Tick tock, wherever you want to catch up with me, I'm on there.

Yeah, yeah. The, the Perth based coaches are always the most powerful. Just saying, just saying something in the.

Water in Western Australia, bro.

These Perth lads.

An incubator.

It must be. It must be, man.

Thanks again.

Anything you want to, you want to, you want to leave. Leave the listeners with before you take off. Any final words?

Yeah. Beyond my retreat, I have a number of different offerings to work with me. Online programs. If you can't get to me in person, one to one coaching, group stuff. And I also do, do offer business coaching as well. So I've helped, you know, hundreds if not thousands of entrepreneurs now rapidly transform their lives, businesses and experience more love. So yeah, feel free to connect with me if you have any questions on anything that we've spoken about. I'd love to connect. I just love having conversations with new people. Yeah. And thanks for having me on the show, bro. Really appreciate.

Course. Of course. Fuck yeah. Thanks King. Thanks guys.

Ciao.