SSP119: Faith, Football, and Personal Growth: A Conversation with Kenji Gorré

So who is Kenji Gore? We're back.

We are back, brother. We are back. We did it. Good to be here, man.

Bro. What? What an honor to. To reunite in person and to be able to record and capture this. This moment in person, bro. Because our last interview was in 2020. I re. Listened to it today, and I said at the end of that interview, hey, if I ever come out to Portugal, we'll link up and you'll.

And here we are. Madness now. That's amazing, man.

That's amazing, man. What a joy. What a joy. So much can change in three years, eh? And I was just saying before we started recording that, like, as men, I feel like we mature so much in our late 20s, at least, I've felt that, you know, from your mid-20s to your late 20s, feel like you become more of a man. You just kind of get a little bit more wiser, but you start to just mature internally a little bit more. And I'm really pumped to get to know where you're at right now in your journey and kind of hear about the wisdom that you've accumulated over the last three years since our last convo. And I got a few. A few different directions. I want to take it today because you shared some fucking powerful truths in the last episode. For those who haven't listened to that, make sure to go back and check that one out. But how are you feeling in this moment, brother? Here in 2023? March 2023.

Wow.

How you feeling, man? How's life?

Honestly? Honestly, bro, it's an absolute honor for you to be here right now. Life has gone so fast. Like, you just shared that three years ago. Like, so much has changed since then. Like, been married in that time, baptized in that time. Like, so many things have happened in that time where my life has taken a whole different route, you know? And it's so crazy. Like when you. When you mentioned just three years of your life and how much is in that three years that you. That you kind of take for granted as well, you know? And sometimes it's so good to just reflect. And in this moment right now, I've just reflected on the three years, which is.

Which is now what I love about the conversations we've had. And for those that don't know, Amanda and I were in Porto like three months ago now, and we got to catch up in person for the first time, had lots of awesome convos, and I've already got to, like, learn a bit more about where you're at in your journey, your process, your professional Career. But you've been in Portugal for how long?

This is my fifth year. Fifth year.

How are you finding being in one place now for this long? Because this is probably the longest you've got to spend in one place, given the constant changes, your career. What are you loving about Portugal and what have you, I guess, learned since living in Portugal?

I honestly love Portugal, me and my wife. Now, we also talk about, like, well, where are we going to go when the football career ends? Like, where are we going to settle? Where are kids going to grow up? Like, we're talking to talk about our future, and Portugal's definitely on our hearts, man. Like, we've been here, and we just love, like, the culture, we love the people, and we love the food, you know, and. And everything, like, kind of comes together really well in this environment. I think that we can also flourish in what we do here as well. And we've been through a big journey. Big journey. Since being in Portugal, I think my life has. Has changed completely.

Because you moved from Madeira to Porto, which.

Yeah.

Last time we spoke, you would have been in Madeira.

Yes. Yeah, it was in Madeira. So we lived on the island at first, and living on the island was a complete different expectation, completely different place that I couldn't imagine living. I could never imagine living on an island. Like, I never thought about living on an island because everything was football, you know, and then to just play football and live on an island, it was like, wow. Like, wait, I can do this. Like, it opened up a whole different space in my mind. And now to live here in Porto, in another beautiful city is. It's such a blessing.

Man, oh, man. And what I love about catching up with you, bro, is because you're playing life at such an elite level, you know, in your professional career, you're at the top. Yeah. And we dove into this in our last conversation, and I took the conversation into, like, what you've been able to break through internally to get to that point. But I'm going to take it a few different layers deeper today. But what came up for me just now was, is how environment is shaping us. And, you know, I've been traveling for the last couple of years now, and everywhere I go, I'm, like, scoping into how do I feel in this country, how do I feel in the city? How is that impacting how I'm able to create or show up in my business? But for you, as an athlete, how important is environment? And what did you notice going from, say, Madeira and Ireland to being in Porto? Is it Something that you have to fully, I guess, tune out and just really stay centered no matter where you are. Be able to tap into a certain level of presence and clarity to perform. Or do you notice how certain environments do impact how you're performing on the field and also how you feel off?

That is so loaded. That is amazing. That is so beautiful. Because I think environment is so key, man. It's so key. And that's why you'll see certain footballers flourish at one club and not flourish at another. So, for example, like, Di Maria will go to United and not flourish, but you'll go somewhere else, like, event and flourish.

Yeah.

You know, Pogba will go to Juventus, be the main man, or play for France and be the best, come to United and not flourish. But then Marcus, flourish at United, you know? So it's like, it depends on what environment suits you and if you're allowing you to control the environment or the environment to control you. And that's what I've kind of noticed in my journey from when I lived in Madeira, for example. I was like, wow, like, I'm waking up with the sun and I'm feeling a little bit more happy. I'm feeling a little bit more at peace. Like, wow. Why is that? Just because the sun's out. Like, okay, now I'm feeling nice. I'm feeling good. And it got to a certain point where now I moved to Porto, now it's not so nice outside. It's like, okay, so am I basing my joy on the weather? Am I basing my joy on what I'm feeling inside? And I've. I've kind of got to a point where I'm. I know that it's not an external thing anymore, you know, it's not an external thing. And I know an environment is. Is so powerful, but your environment in your own self is the most powerful. Right. So if you're focusing on your environment internally, then you'll see that on the outside, you know? So that's how I've kind of like, been in that journey of that environment being so powerful. Because it's like wherever I go, I know the spirit that's inside of me is more powerful than the spirit that's inside that room. So it's like, I have to make sure that my spirit opens, overrides that spirit that might be playing there, right there. So it's like, I know that wherever I'm gonna be going, what club I'm going, what thing I'm. It's not about the coach. It's not about the people, it's about myself.

Yeah, that's deep truth right there, man. Wow. Because you're about to. We were discussing last night, you know, your contract ends this, this year.

Yeah.

And there's a strong possibility you could be changing environments again. And the challenge or the opportunity of being a pro footballer is you may be moving to environments that are very much out of your comfort zone. Non English speaking environments, like Portugal, sort of like that, Europe's like that. But you know, uae, for example, or you know, China or these places where it's like, fuck, that's a full. That's a full shift. If something like that were to happen and you had to go to one of these countries, what are the internal like to get yourself set up internally, environmentally? What are the things that you're looking for? Is it how you set up your house? Is it. What are the things that get you back to like, optimal performance straight away in a new environment? What are you, what are you trying to dial in straight away? What do you go to?

The first thing that I do is I pray. The first thing that I do. You know, every decision I make, I've learned to not base it on emotion. You know, emotions fluctuate. You know, you can feel a certain type of way in certain moment. But I know my spirit knows, you know, know. So it's just understanding that, like, my connection with God is the most important thing. So it's like if I know that my relationship with God is the most important thing, I need to make sure that whatever place I go to, that, that connection continues to be first. So if that connection isn't going to be first, I say, lord, close that door. I need you to be first in this area. I need you to be first in my life. So as you are first in my life, this is the decision that I need to make. So what does that look like? You know, and I kind of just guide myself through it. And obviously I have practical things that I also do. You know, I had to make sure that my wife feels safe. I need to make sure that I'm going into an environment where, you know, I'm not fearing my own life. For example, you know, that's really. That's really important to me. And yeah, that's. That's kind of how I feel.

Yeah. And it's clear to me that if anyone knows you, your faith is such a strong value. And even in our last conversation three years ago in the podcast, you know, you were very much committed to your connection with God and how Much of an impact that played on your performance on the field, but also how you felt off the field. And I'd love to explore that a little bit deeper with you today. And because faith has been a big part for me as well, bro. As we've spoken about, like, I believe that having a connection with a higher power, whatever you choose to call that, that higher power, as a man especially, is what gives you the courage, is what gives you the trust that everything's going to work out. Like we're saying last night, it removes some of the pressure or the seriousness that sometimes life can take on. I'd love to know, in your journey, when did your faith start to come on board? And why do you feel like having faith in a higher power or God is so important to you? And I guess everyone.

So there was two moments that really stick out to me, to be honest. And the first one was the experience that I had with my cousin. And the experience that I had with cousin. It was. My cousin was someone that I looked up to. Cousin was someone that. That I wanted to be like, you know, everything that he did, he didn't have anything, but he had everything, you know, like, he was like, everything for me. And he lived with me when I was on loan in Holland. I was in Holland. We lived together, and we had such a. An amazing time. And I remember then going back to Swansea, and he finds out he has cancer. And as he finds out he has cancer, I'm now in Swansea. He's obviously still in Holland. I say to my coach, like, please, can I go home and can I go home and see him? The coach was like, take as long as you need, however you need. I remember taking a weekend and going to see him, and he shared with me, you know, how things weren't going good, but he always had a smile on his face. He was always like, full of life, full of joy, and that's what he represented, you know? And I can remember, like, there was a time where he was like. I was like, well, I was putting music on in the car. And he was like, no, I don't really listen to that sort of music anymore. And I was like, well, why? Like, he listens to gospel now and things like that. I was like, oh, interesting. That was that. I was like, nah, man, put this just track on now. Leave that. Like, put this song on. Yeah, back on, man. Put popcorn back on. I was in that mode, and. And I remember, like, being in that and questioning it, you know, Like, I was thinking, okay. But it was like something That I realized now and then I go back to Swansea. They went really fast. They said he had a couple weeks to go and things like that. And he sadly passed away. But in that process of him passing away, I remember me, my wife, my girlfriend at the time, and my family were in that room. And I remember that spirit in that room was. There was something there. There was something in that room, like, that was. And I hadn't experienced this before. It's like, what is this? And I saw his body. His body was there, but he wasn't there. Saw a body. My cousin was there, Mario. He was there, but he wasn't there. That's when I realized, wait, this is a spiritual thing. Well, where is he? Why is he there? And that's when I started to seek. And my dad said, like you, when you seek, you shall find. And that's why it's one of my favorite verses till this day. Because the word of God says, you know, seek and you shall find. Seek me with all your heart. And it's like, as I started to seek him, seek him, look for questions, look for answers, understand, like, why am I seeing this? Like, why am I going through this? He started to reveal himself to me in that process. In that process. And it got to a point where we then moved to Madeira. Me and my wife, we moved to Madeira and saw a complete different side to life, you know? And this is where I was like, wow, I feel like I just got taken out of my environment, place on this island where it's like, figure out. And I was on that process of figuring out who I was, like, who am I? Who's Kenji? Without football, without being a son, without being like, who am I? And as I'm in that process of finding myself of who I am, that's when I found God. And we actually started then to have church with one of my teammates, and. And he would start to have, like, visions and things about me that he would never have known about because he doesn't even speak English. I've never even spoke to him about it. But his wife spoke fluent English because she lived in America, so she was the one translating. And, you know, he was. He was such a big blessing on my journey. But I say that to say this is like, on paper, I had everything. I had a successful relationship. My football was going well. Finances were booming. Every single area of my life was perfect. But there was something missing. I said, what is that? I don't understand what I'm missing. But it was that peace. It was that peace. And the day that I gave my life to Christ, the day that I submitted to him and his ways was the day my life changed forever. And that's when peace and joy came into my heart. That I can't explain.

Man, that's beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. And there's. What I've noticed is we all have a thread that connects us to our deeper spiritual beliefs. Whether a death is usually a big trigger for us to look inward. You know, it's usually through adversity or something challenging or painful that like cracks an opening. At least for me. It cracked an opening inside of me for something deeper to start to emerge. And I find it really interesting or fascinating how we all have a different thread that we're following, but the destination or the outcome is sort of the same and we sometimes use different words to describe the same intelligence. And would you say it was your cousin's influence and his path in Christianity that influenced your path of following that particular religion or faith? Or was it something else that started to pull you towards Christ?

I think that was, that was like a significant moment for me. And now looking back, there were certain things that were triggered in that moment, you know, there were certain things that triggered internally in that moment. But I think that as I started to seek for answers, as I started to seek for God, that's when I found him. And then I realized, like, he. He's not out there. He's not out there. He lives in me, you know, and that's why, like the word of God shares about, you're a new creation, you know, in me. And I felt like my old self is gone. Like I'm not the same Kenji that was before I gave my life. Like I'm not the same man. Like I'm completely transformed because I know that I can't do this life without him. I know that my power got a limit on it, you know, And I know that the power that resurrected Jesus from the cross is the same power that lives inside of me. So no, nothing can stop me, you know, there's nothing that can in this world that can make me stronger, you know?

Damn. What do you think that the strength. Because the belief you can, you can feel your faith getting stronger. And I don't know about you, but as we get older, your faith gets stronger because you have more and more evidence that strengthens the belief that you're being guided by something greater than yourself. And I've noticed the more I just surrender to this, this like high power that's guiding me, the more it Just takes care of everything. You're like. And the belief goes up. Life's got me. Life's got me.

God.

God's got me. As you've kind of matured a little bit more now, what are you noticing as your faith's getting stronger, what are you noticing that that's unlocking professionally, but then also personally, I think it's just.

Unlocking different realms of him, of Jesus in me, you know, it's just unlocking different dimensions where it's like, you think that you know it all, but you actually don't know anything. You know, you, like, you think that you know every single. Like, no, I've got all the answers, but then, like, no, I've got nothing really, you know, and it's like. Like I said before, like, I'm so limited in my own thoughts, my own power, my own. My own things, that as I lean into my spirit, as I lean into the spirit that lives inside of me, I know that that is what guides me. That is what's going to give me power, and that's what's going to give me eternal life.

Do you notice the people that you feel a connection or resonance with? They also have a connection with God or spirit that's operating through them. And can you feel when you're around someone who is perhaps not connected to that. That realm? And what do you feel is the major difference between those two kinds of people?

Wow. Wow, wow. Hey, I just want to command you for that question, bro. Whoa, hey. This is so deep and for sure, for sure. And that's why the word of God says, you know, you'll know who your brothers and sisters are in Christ, you know, you know who the people are that. That. That are called according to his purpose, because you're on the same mission, you're on the same. You're in the same realm, you're in the same. You're in the same dimensions. You know, we're in this dimension here, but we have access in the spiritual and the physical. And that's why, like, the way angels can't even do that, angels can't go into this dimension. Like, that's why, like, we have that connect, right? And definitely, bro, like, we. I. You feel it. You feel it for sure.

It is no coincidence that we end up meeting each other in a random bar in New York at a just completely, like, you know, random time in our life, right? There's no coincidence in that. I don't believe there's. There's like a deeper energy that's like, pulling People together that are. That are on the same kind of wavelength. Right. And it's interesting, like, when you speak about sport or like some of the athletes or not just for any realm, people playing at a high level, the ones that. That really struggle off the field or off out of the business, the ones who don't necessarily have that connection. And I don't know if you've noticed this as well, but I've. I can now see really clearly that the light and the dark that's in the world. I can see very clearly where the devil is, like, operating in people. And you can see that where people have awakened to the light. And would you say it's like a battle that's going on right now in the world, like, collectively? Do you feel that? Do you feel these darker forces that are trying to infiltrate us? And, you know, you can't necessarily say the devil is like, shown up as this red character, but it's shown up as the impulses, the addictions, the people who are being pulled into toxic ways of being. The devil kind of reveals itself in those ways. That's what I believe, anyway. Do you feel that there is a battle happening and do you feel a sense of responsibility with how you're practicing your faith and the light that you sometimes bring to people who are maybe in some of that darkness? For sure, bro.

How you just shared that, bro, you're amazing, man, honestly. But definitely, man. Yeah, there's a spiritual realm and there's a battle that is fighting. And the battle is for souls. And that's why it's like we see it on a. On a level where you can see something in someone or you can see a certain spirit in somebody. It's spirit of fear, doubt, you know? You know, it comes. It's not from God, you know, it's. No, you know, that. That's not from the Lord. But then it's deeper than that because the battle is for our souls. The devil wants to deceive us. He wants to deceive us, you know, and he wants us to. To be like. To go to him, but God wants us to go to him so that there's that. That choice of free will for us to choose. What side are we on? What side are we on?

Do you think there's a choice?

100%, yeah.

Bro, I'm curious. This is. You don't need to answer this one because this is. This is a. This is philosophical, right? Like people, Alan Watts, and deep philosophers dance around the answer to some of these questions. So I'm I'm just playing here, and I'm curious to hear, like, what your perspective is, though, because the way I see it is, like, sometimes when you. When you're not. When you haven't discovered God yet, you're. You're in your own, like, darkness and shadow, and you don't even realize that you're in it. And I sometimes question people who I can see are so influenced by the devil's temptations and that in it. And sometimes the. Even the celebrities that are in it, you can see that, like, you're literally promoting the devil. And I question, like, do they even realize that they're doing that or are they choosing that? Do you think that some people. Some of these people just don't even realize they're being taken over by this dark, dark spirit or dark entity and it's all just. There's something divine happening behind the scenes, that people are just awakening at the perfect time, or do you think there is a choice?

So I think there are people that are aware of what they're doing, and I think there are people that aren't aware of what they're doing. I think there's. In my life as well. I'm aware of certain things that I do, and I'm not aware of certain things that I don't do as well. But what I do believe is that the battle isn't against flesh and blood. You know, the battle is in the spiritual realms. It's for authority, it's power in the. In the spiritual realms. And. And there's things that are happening that people are. Yeah, fighting in the spiritual. And that's why you pray, because your spirit knows. So if you're feeling anxious, your spirit knows, like, you know, and that's why it's a spirit of anxiousness. You fight against that. You know, you fight against these things. And that's why I'm. I'm. I'm at war, bro. I'm at war. Every single day, I'm at war. And I'm not at war only for that. I'm also at war myself where it's at my own desires, my own fleshly things that I want to do when actually I know it's wrong. You know, I actually, I want to do that, but it's not really good for me. I'm at war with that as well.

Tell me more about that. Because integrity for you, being someone who's playing life at this level, like I said, you've. You've created a certain character that is really disciplined, really integral, not just with Your. Your sporting and physical performance, but clearly with your faith. That's what I admire about you, bro. Like, you're just so committed, and you can feel that purity that's coming through because you're committed to your faith. It's not something that you compromise ever. And I feel, and I know a lot of people struggle with upholding discipline in certain areas and having a practice where you devote and commune with God or spirit or the universe, whatever your divine intelligence is in the times where you have the temptations or the times where you feel like you're getting lazy, because I'm sure. I'm sure it happens. You're human, right? How do you maybe, like, get back. How do you come back from those periods where you're just, like, in a lazy rut maybe? And, yeah, how do you get back on track? How do you like, rediscover that?

First thing that I do, brother, is I repent. I say, God, I'm sorry. I've been going on this route, this route, this route. Been going the wrong way. The last thing I wanted to do is come to you and I'm sorry. And I pour out my heart to it. I pour out my heart of what I'm really feeling. Like he knows already what you're going through. He knows already what you're feeling, already knows your thoughts in your mind. And that's why I'm not afraid to say what I'm feeling, because I know that you already know. So it's kind of just exposing to myself of what I'm really feeling. Because when I'm feeling that shame or that guilt or that I should have done this, should have done that, and it's like I didn't even go to God about this. Wow, Lord. And you just. You beat yourself up about that. But then that's the enemy trying to keep you locked, trying to keep you in that limited place, trying to keep your mind focused on what you did wrong rather than knowing that you couldn't have done it in your own strength anyway. And that's why I did what I did on that cross. For you, Kenji. For you specifically for you, Kenji. I was on that cross and bear the pain that you should have, that you should have took. Because I. I can't do it. I fall short every single day. Every single day I make mistakes. I say something I shouldn't have said or a lie or, you know, there's. There's so many things that I do every single day that only God knows. And that's why every single day I Ask, I say sorry for where I fall short, consciously and unconsciously.

So it sounds like you have rituals set up in your life that you don't. You rarely compromise on your rituals being how you connect with God. What are those rituals look like, bro? If you don't mind sharing. Is it a morning ritual, like an evening ritual as well? Is it, is a spoken prayer, is it a written connection? What does that look like?

So I, I pray every morning so I'll. I'll wake up and I'll just be grateful. Nothing to take anything from, from him or just for what he did, for what he did on that cross, for who he is in my life, for. For breath. Like I couldn't have, I couldn't have done anything to wake up. I couldn't have ate something for me to wake up the next day. I couldn't have drank a water for me to wake up. The. I'm just grateful for being here right now in this realm, in this place, and I couldn't have done that in my own power. So I'm just great. And first of all, I'm just that I express gratitude. I say, I say thank you to God and I empty myself out to him and I ask him to fill me up, ask him to fill me up. And as he fills me up, he will highlight certain areas to pray on. You know, pray on this, pray on that, pray on your wife, pray on this, pray for Jordan, pray for Amanda, you know, pray for your parents right now. And he might give me a word to share to my parents in that time, give me something to encourage them, you know, and it couldn't have come from myself, you know, and that's like, that's how I know, you know, that he lives in me, that he's in me because there's certain things that will, that will happen that couldn't have been from me, you know. And another thing that I do is I join. I join morning prayer with the guys. We have like a group of community called Bowlers in God, which community full of footballers where we come together and we pray and share the word. On a Wednesday, someone will come on and preach and share their testimony. So I had the privilege to share my testimony last week to share how God has changed my life. And also what I do is I worship a lot. I get in the car and every day to train, I get in the car and put worship music on and I just worship to God and thank him again for who he is, not only for what he did, but just for who he is. It's the beginning and the end. He knows exactly what we're going through, what we're experiencing.

Damn. My heart feels lighter in hearing your sharing, bro. Wow, that's beautiful. That really is. And what I take from that, that I hope the people listening or watching and taking from that is that emptying yourself first of however you do it. You know, for me, like, meditation is one of my favorite practices. Emptying myself and then asking to be filled back up through spirit, like, move me, direct me, give me the information, give me the people that I need to be of service to the highest good. I feel like you can only receive that guidance once you've emptied the vessel and let go of what you've been holding on to. And what I'm hearing is everyone gets to discover what their way is, what their faith or process is in connecting with this higher power. And what I've been questioning in my own life is because I've pulled from different religions. I grew up Christian, but I got to a point where I realized that wasn't fooling my path. It was just a path I didn't have a choice in. I was just pushed into. I went through Catholic school, everything. And then I realized I got pulled into other belief systems around Hinduism and reincarnation. And when one of my friends died, I got gifted a book that opened up a whole new another realm of belief, of life after death, etc. What I'm trying to say is that everyone has their own journey that's feeding into their own belief systems of what life means, what God represents. And I'm curious to know, and I'm curious to get your perspective on this. Do you think that being devoted to one specific religion holds more power because you're so devoted to Christ and the Gospel? Do you think that holds more power than someone who maybe has is pulling from different religions but still believing in the same source? Because I think about like the power of prayer for you, man. That's, that's, that's, that's a deep connection. And I don't have a necessarily prayer. I pray, but I question whether it's as powerful as a devoted Christian like yourself. Do you think that's the case? You can apply that to other religions? Hinduism, Right. You know, if you're fully committed to Hinduism, is that connection with source greater than someone who is kind of just like hybrid?

Wow. First of all, I just admire your transparency, bro. I really appreciate you sharing what you just shared and where you're at in your life as well. And where you're at Spiritually, because most people don't, you know, and share where they're really at. And I really admire you for that, bro.

Thank you.

Really, really admire you for that. But honestly, bro, I don't see it as religion, you know, I don't see it as set of rules. And for me, it's a relationship with God. It's a relationship. The same way you wouldn't let a stranger into your house. It's the same way that God's not going to let him let you into his house if you don't know Him. So I believe that God is sharing with us. Get to know me, get to know what I like, get to know what I think, what my thoughts are. And that's the process that I'm on, you know, of just understanding. Like, what does he think about this? Do you think about this, Lord? Like, what do you think about this area or this area? Because there's so much darkness in the world. There's so much darkness in the world and there's so much temptation. There's so many things that can take you away from the path, but it's just by grace that we can actually be here. It's by the grace of God that we can be here right now and experience this and, and just let go of what we're holding on to. But also understand that we have a choice in this in order to, to choose him or not.

Every day, Every moment.

Every moment. Yeah, every second. And that's why, like, it's not about the religion or, you know, set of rules. It's about your heart. People can say so many things and, well, God looks at your heart. You know, I can say so many beautiful things out of my mouth, but it doesn't matter. Like, God can also say, like on that day when you stood before him, he's like, I don't know you. I don't know you. And that's like. And that's something that, that I'm obviously on the process on, but it's just to encourage anybody that's listening to this, like, take the relationship serious, take the relationship with God serious. And, and I believe that that is through Christ of what he did on that cross. Because there's nothing I could have done. I was destined for hell because I've. I've done all the. I've. I've made so many mistakes in my life, so many things. And a just God would say, where do you belong? Well, you can't come with me because I'm holy. I'm holy. You've Made mistakes. You need to go to go there, bro. And I have to say, yeah, to be fair, I do. I belong there. I actually belong there. Because this is what I did. I did this, this, this, this, and the enemies and the devil's like, yeah, Kenji did this, this, this, this. He has to come to me. But then God came and says, let me take it. Let me take what Kenji did and build that bridge for them to come with me. And that's why, you know, you can, it's. It's what's in your heart. It's what's in your heart and you can't explain it. You can't. You can do your best to explain it, but it's something that's in your heart, man.

You're very good at explaining it. I love that, man. It's not a religion, it's a relationship. Yeah, that's, that's it right there. Like any relationship, right. It only grows the more attention and love and the more you water grows. So I hope people take that. You know, whatever your faith is, it's a relationship that you get to work on every single day.

Yeah.

And I'm sure you feel out of integrity some, some days if you don't devote or have time. It sounds like that's the thing for you, because such a high value, you maintain such strong integrity with your connection with God that I'm realizing is, is, is the key, is the key. Because when you're out of integrity and you're not showing up consistently or devoting to, to, to that relationship, you start to feel it. There's something missing. You know, like we said, there's something missing in your heart.

So true, man. And even as you're just sharing, then like God desires to be number one, he's not second. Doesn't share his glory. He doesn't share his glory. The same way your wife won't share her glory with you. Like, she's number one. And as soon as she feels number two, she's going to make you known. So if your football, if my football is number one, she's going to say, hey, even if she doesn't come out of her mouth, we feel it. And God, it's the same thing. And that's why for me, God is number one. He's my creator, my wife's number two. And it's the same thing for, yeah, like football, you know, as soon as that takes over, your wife feels it big time, man.

This is a perfect transition because faith and relationship was the two kind of themes I wanted to explore with you today because we went into a lot of the mindset and the performance element in our first interview, and. And you said something to me that when we caught up three months ago, that really shifted something for me. It was around marriage. And your journey with your partner is. And when you guys got married, you said something really powerfully changed in your life. And I've been with my girlfriend Amanda for six, seven years now, and I'm thinking about that.

Wow. And.

You told me that a different connection was established, different relationship was born after you got married.

Yeah.

And it just planted something in me. I was like, h, yeah, right. I believe it. I'd love for you to talk a little bit about that, bro.

What.

What shifted for you after you got married?

Honestly, bro, everything shifted. Every word in a dictionary that had a meaning in my life changed. Every word changed. And that's like, I experienced another realm. I experienced another place that I haven't been before. I experienced another level of responsibility. I understood that this marriage has purpose. It's not just two people. Like, two people coming together. Like, it's so much deeper than that, you know, it's the word of God says, where two become one, you become one flesh. And it's like that there is just. It's a different realm, bro. It's a different realm. And I have been with my partner and my wife now for 14 years. We've been together. So you'd know, you'd feel like we know each other, you know, you know each other, you know, you know what she likes, you know what triggers her, you know, you know her, you know what she thinks. Something that I feel like I know what she thinks. And marriage took it to a whole new dimension, but also that step from relationship to engagement. Huge, huge step, man.

Huge.

And that's why, like, any relationship that might be listening to this is like, go through the process. Because there's some things that you'll need in that courting stage or some things that you need in that dating stage, in that engagement stage before you get married. And in that marriage, like, the thing is, like, marriage is an eternal thing. It isn't just like getting married on earth, you know, it's a spiritual thing. And as you guys, as you know, we become one. It's like her desires become my desires. My desires become her. Everything becomes one. Families become one. It's not just her, but, like, her sister is my sister, you know, and. And her mom is my mom. It's these things that, like, that they. As we. You become one. Your your families become. And that's why there's so much in that and so much depths in all these different aspects as well. But it's a journey, and it's important to go through that journey and to go through these processes in order to catch up with what you're going through and getting the lessons that you need in them times.

Yeah, man. And I. And I can feel. I can feel how transformative that journey would become. It's. It's just a deeper level of commitment.

Yeah.

It's also a commitment with God.

Right.

Give your word to God.

Exactly that. That's exactly it. Exactly it. Because that's the engagement stage. The engagement is you commit to your wife, but you also commit to God. This is my wife.

Right.

So what does. So. So what does it say for you to. So what do you need to do in order to be committed to your wife? What do you need to do in order to. Like, what. What are your roles? Like what. What do you need to. You know, how do you need to. Leader? And this is the thing. Like, we can do it off our own understanding and try our best. But that's why I read the Bible, to know what to do to have grace. And I. And like I said, I come short. I make mistakes. But I know by the grace of God, he will give me the wisdom in order to lead my wife into being the woman that she's called to be. And that's our responsibility. And that's why the word of God says you've got to treat your wife as Christ treats the church. Like, as Christ came down for us is the same way that he died for us, the same way we need to die for our wives. And that's what. That's. That's tough.

Yeah. Do you feel like your connection with God got stronger when you got married?

Another dimension.

Yeah.

Like, crazy. Crazy.

You guys pray together?

Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I've been at your house for dinner. And the prayers that we said when we were together, they stuck with me, bro.

Wow.

Because I took that. I implemented, like, I've been praying before dinner.

Wow.

Every day since. Since we hung out three months ago. Because of the power of that, I found it so powerful, and it was something that I'm going to continue to do with my family.

Wow.

And actually, when my dad and parents were over here a month ago, I started praying with them.

Wow.

And my brother called me up the other day and said, hey, bro, you've. You've influenced Daddy saying prayers before. Before meals now. And he's really Feeling this. This connection. And it was little things like that that I took from. From the relationship you guys have with yourselves, also with God, that I'm now looking to incorporate.

Wow, that's huge, man.

Yeah, man. And I just wanted to, I guess, find out in your guys's journey as a couple, was there. Was there a time where you can use that you were ready to walk that path because it is a big commitment. My friends were in similar stages. You've been dating partners for a long time, and when. When is the right time? Is it you just do it because everyone else is doing or like, did you know, was the right time? And then I'd also love to know about, like, family as well. Do you know you already want to have kids? And I know you do, but when is the right time for that as well?

This is huge, man. It takes me back to, like, my actual journey with my wife. And we've been to. We were together from school. School days. We met when we were 12 and 13, and then we got together when we were. When I was 13. No, I was 14. She was 13. And we were together. And. And honestly, we did life together. You know, we're so grateful that we had that experience as well, and that led us to this point. But there was a lot of challenges and things that we had to move through, through that which kind of formed our relationship. I think we went through, like, so many different relationship. We always say, like, we go through so many different relationships in one. That one relationship. So, like, when we're 14, you're not the same when you're 16, you're not the same when YOU'RE 18, you're not the same when YOu're 21. So we got through a point in our life where I went on loan to Holland and Bella went to study in Canada. She went to Halifax. No, Halifax. Yeah, she went to Halifax. Yeah, yeah, exactly. She went to Halifax to study. And we had to go apart. We had to go proud. I made some mistakes that I see as huge mistakes now that. Where I don't like to talk it right or wrong, but obviously I'm going through that process of becoming boy to man. And in that process, you're figuring out who you are, you're figuring out what you like, you're figuring out these things. And there's pressures of the world, you know, there's pressures of performing on the weekend, you know, and now not playing. Like, what do I do when I'm not playing? You want to go and fill yourself back up. What do you Go do you go out, you go and party. You go. Women and these things like start to come, come around where. Because I'm trying to fill that void with something that I couldn't, I couldn't understand, you know, how I wasn't getting that. And God bless my wife, man. But she, she was always so encouraging. She was always like, there for me. She was always, always wanted the best for me. Regardless of how I performed, of what I did. She loved me for who I was. And that was. I valued that so much. But I only valued that when I lost her. And she decided like, Kenji, this isn't going to work anymore. Remember being like 20, 20, 21. Yeah, like, no, no, 19, 19 at the time. And she said, it's not going to work anymore. You do you, I do me. And we'll see from there. And honestly, it took around a year, about a year where. But from that day, something shifted in me where it was like, I don't want to be this person and this is the woman that loves me, not for what I do. Love me. Like nowadays that people will go into a relationship for what they do or for what they can offer, what they can bring, when I can't bring anything to her, but she loves me. And that's what I just admired. And I was like, God, like, this is what this is my wife, innit? I remember going back into that relationship and we formed like a complete different relationship from that period because we had to find out who we were. And she was on her journey, I was on mine. And God brought us back together. And through that process, we then as we got engaged, you know, you go into another place, you go into another realm. It's like that promise, like you said, promise to God, promise to, promise to Bella. And you're now in that space of like, getting to know each other on a deeper level. But you're exposing some things that you want to keep secret. So it's like them secret things of like money. Bella never knew how much I was on because I didn't want to give it over to her in case she said, oh, you can't do this then, or you can't do that, or I want this, I want that. So I was like, a little bit more like, let me not give this area. But as we got engaged, that area got exposed and that was a journey because we value money in the world, right? Money has power. So it's like, that's what we believe, right? And that there then is. Is something that I had to expose. And as I exposed that it brought our relationship to another level. Because now it's like you go in, you're experiencing something different, something completely different. And, you know, then it. God took us on a journey of. Of going through that stage of engagement. Then we get married. And honestly, from that process of planning the wedding is when God revealed himself to us the most. Because then it's like you start to realize of what you're building your house upon. The foundations have to be solid. The foundation of anything that you do has to be solid. Foundations of your life, foundation of your relationship, foundation of your work, your things have to be solid. Because when the waves come, when the wind comes, you want it to still stand firm. And that's the challenges. The challenges, the things that happen, the temptations come, but it still stands firm on the solid rock. And the solid rock for us was Jesus Christ. And as we based our relationship on God, as we gave our relationship to him and said, lord, cultivate our marriage. Cultivate the things that we need. Show us how we need to build our marriage. What does it need to build upon? Said, yes, follow me. Let me show you. And he revealed truth to us that we can now understand that we can't do it in our own strength. We need God.

Were you guys both always on a similar path in terms of your faith and your belief systems?

So my relationship was like. It was like, I knew God was real, but I didn't know who he was or what it was. You know, it was somewhere out there, you know, like, yeah, God's real man. Yeah. Yeah, that was it. And as life started to teach me, as I experienced with my cousin and as I experienced with life in general, God revealed himself to me. God revealed himself to me, and then I gave my life over to him. And in that process, I'm obviously getting word, I'm getting encouraged. My spirit man is opening up. And Bella is seeing that as well. And she's then getting the revelations, she's getting the understanding. She's building her relationship. And I'm thinking, wow, like, this is supernatural. This isn't something that I could have said or done. This is supernatural. This is God impacting her heart, you know, because she was on her journey with spirituality. God reveals that to him. Not through. Not through me, through someone else.

You know, that's often the case, bro, because a lot of people who are in relationships, you know, sometimes one. One individual will be on this path, and their partner may not be. And sometimes that can be a cause, especially early on in relationships, of a lot of like breakdown. I say I'm in, I'm on this journey, but my partner's not here with me. Like, and the, the breakdown causes by the other person trying to bring them up.

Yeah.

When. If you just stay on your path and you have trust in the relationship, your partner will come around on their own journey. So there's a few things I heard from that that were really powerful. You know, if you are ready to go to that next step, the foundation has to be solid. Little things like finances, because that's a. Have to be one of the major cause of most relationships. Right. Is finances. And there's other areas that you need to just be on the same page. It's like a team. You're just building a strong team to take that next step. So. Yeah, I'm really inspired by that, bro. Yeah. Because I can, I can see that next step.

Yeah.

The path starting to become clear.

That's amazing, bro.

Man, this has been a really, really enjoyable conversation. Like, it's. I knew we were going to go there today. Yeah. And I'm looking forward to people hearing like, the depth of, of your journey, the depth of your journey with God as well, because it is such a. Such an influential part of how you show up as a human. Like the light that you bring, man, you can feel it. Everyone can feel it. Like this light that's just beaming out of you. And it's, in my opinion, everyone's journey to nurture, cultivate and expand that light in whatever way that they choose to journey down. And I've really enjoyed hearing about your own practice, your own journey. And I got, I got one more question that I want to kind of round this out with. It's a deeper one, but I want to. I would love to know if you believe there is life after death.

So I believe. I love how you went there. Wow. There is eternity. And the Bible speaks about new bodies, you know, and having new bodies. And I believe that as we pass through this life, we will go and be with God for eternity or we will be in hell. So I do believe that there is a place that you go after, after, after death.

That's beautiful. What has allowed you to be so. Not that we can ever be certain on a belief like that, but what has allowed you to have that kind of belief system? Was it the situation with your cousin where you seen him pass on and leave and something was unlocked inside of you? Or have there been other moments that allowed you to be. Because it's a hypothesis at the end of the day, like none of us really know. But we all have our own belief based on our own experiences. Was there something. Was there something very clear like this, your cousin situation that, like. Yeah, and I know that was.

That was an experience. Yeah, that was part of. Partly of it, but it was. It's so much deeper than that. Like, it's that. It's that knowing of God is God, and he's going to reveal what I need to see in order to move in the direction that he wants me to go to. So these are the questions that I have asked, and I believe that I've had revelation about these things, and that is my honest truth.

That's beautiful. And the relation. It's the strength of the relationship which determines the clarity of the answer.

And there you go.

Fuck, I like that, bro.

And that's why it's always about the relationship. It. Because as soon as you feel far away from someone, the further away. The further you go. Further you go. It's like the harder it is to come back in it. So the further you go into that darkness, the harder it is to come into the light. And it's the same. It's that the further away you go, it's so hard. But I want to encourage anyone. That's this. He's so close. He's there. He's here. He sees you here. And you don't have to become holy in order to come to Him. He will meet you exactly where you are. Because we're all broken, we're all hurt. We all come from things that have shaped us into who we are. But God wants to fill us up with his spirit in order to meet him where he is. Because that's where peace is. That's where joy is. That's where eternal life is.

My man. I just wanted to. Yeah, just express my appreciation and gratitude for. For this opportunity. It's been such a joy to dance with you, bro. So I feel like this is what it is. We're dancing with God right now. You know, it's this truth, you know, your truth coming through. You get to. You get to feel it. I really believe, like, that.

That's.

That's the. That's how you feel someone's relationship with God is like how they communicate their truth. And I can really feel it with you, man.

Oh, that's amazing.

It's powerful. So thank you for this, this. This gift.

Absolute blessing.

I know the people listening, you know, would have taken something deep from this. So, yeah, whoever needs to hear this day got to, got to receive it. So.

Nah, Jordan thank you so much for having me on, man. You're an absolute blessing. Keep going. Keep doing everything that you feel to do because you have a big purpose and a big mission on your life, bro. And there's certain things that you've been called to do in this realm, in this place that I want to encourage you to keep going into, bro, because there's. There's purpose behind it, man. There's big, big purpose behind it. But just before we go as well, I'd love to. I'd love to pray. I'd love to pray on. On everybody that's watching this if they felt something to. Just. To just feel into. To feel into that. So I'd love to. I'd love to pray, please, if that's okay.

Yes, please.

Heavenly Father, we thank you. We thank you for your. For your word. We thank you so much for everything that you're doing in our lives, Lord. Lord, I pray for everybody that's listening to the sound of my voice right now, Lord, you know what's going on in their heart. You know what's going on in their mind. You know what's going on in their world. And I pray that you will continue to share the things that they need in this season of their life in order to move closer to who youo are, Lord. In order to move closer to youo truth. To order to move closer to the things of youf, Lord. Lord, give them the action steps to take. Give them the things that they need right now in their mind to believe in order to really submit into your ways, into your will, Lord. Lord, I thank you so much for Jordan. I pray that you continue to bless him and continue to show him who you are. Heavenly Father. Lord, as your word says, as we seek, we shall find. And we pray that we continue to seek you and find you in the heavenly realms in order to fulfill the destinies and to fill up our purpose on this earth. Continue to renew our mind, continue to renew our hearts. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Amen.

Amen. Amen. Thank you, man.

Wow.

Amazing.

Thank you.

Thank you so much for having me on, bro.

It's a pleasure. It's an honor. And we'll see where God takes us next. The next chapter of both of our journeys, bro. But until next time. Yeah. Thank you. Hey, what's going on, my friend? Thanks so much for tuning into today's episode. If you enjoyed the conversations today, make sure you comment, like, subscribe on Apple, itunes, or Spotify wherever you listen to your podcast. And then one final request for you is if you are listening to this and you're a man and you really feel like you are looking to have a tribe, a community of men who uplift you, hold you to a high standard, then I wanted to tell you about the upcoming path 2.0 which is the men's program that I facilitate. And I just want to say that after facilitating the last one, it's so inspiring to see so many powerful men stepping forward into this work. If you've been looking for a sign to step into a new level of confidence, presence and depth in your life, then this is it. If you are looking to be around high caliber men to sharpen your sword, so to speak, then this is the place and applications are now open. If you are interested, you can click the link in my Instagram bio that's at Jordan Kanlish 01 or you can just send me a DM if you want to chat and get more information about the program. I really am looking for just men who are ready to commit to this work because the ones that are all in get the results. So if that sounds like you, click the link in my Instagram bio and let's get after it. Much love my friend. We'll see you in the next episode.