SSP133: Life lessons from my previous week

Hey, what's going on, my friend? It's Jordan Kanlish here. Thank you so much for joining me on the podcast. Really looking forward to sharing today's episode with you. Today I'm going to be sharing a solo episode. Now, these solo episodes will consist of either an Instagram Live that I've created or a separate video that I pulled from somewhere else that I really wanted to share on the podcast so you could have the audio experience. Now, whenever I do these solo episodes, particularly the Instagram Lives, they're really just a stream of consciousness. I try not to plan them too much. I just allow whatever needs to come through me in that moment to come through. And usually the content is just what is needed for the person on the other side. And I trust that if you're here about to receive this, there's something here for you. So I'm really looking forward to sharing it with you. My one request is if you did get some value from this solo episode, please ensure that you subscribe if you haven't already so that I can keep you posted when more of these come out and share it with a friend as well if you got something useful from this information. So again, I appreciate you so much. Thank you for being here. Thank you for taking in this knowledge. It says so much about you to be on this journey and I really hope you get something from today's episode. So enjoy. Yes, yes, here we are. Good to be with you. Tuesday, IG Live Pumped to share some insights with y' all here in Austin, Texas. Lots of exciting things happening in the world. Sometimes there is scary lots of dark things happening in the world at the same time. And when there's dark, there's also light. When there's light, there's also dark. So I want to come on and share some insights that I've been going on. Joseph, what's up, brother? Share some insights that I've had over the last few weeks with you guys. I feel in, in the last few weeks here, especially in Austin, there has been a big shift in the weather. The weather's just gotten a lot colder. And what I've noticed when seasons change like this, right when the weather goes from heat to cold, for me, I get drawn into wanting to spend more time in being, more time in nature, more time just listening. And I'm unsure if anyone else experiences that as well. When the weather's hot, I tend to want to get out and get things done and create and build. But when it shifts into colder weather, especially around fall time, I just noticed within myself, an urge to want to just slow down. And that's what I've been doing recently, is just spending more time meditating, more time just being. And it's funny because the mind sometimes will resist that. I have found my mind will resist that because of the. If you've been running at a fast pace, you know me getting a lot of stuff done, it's hard to just slow down. But when you commit or let go of the resistance to the shift in season or the shift in energy, the slowing down brings a new level of growth just in a different way. And this is the beautiful part about living in alignment with what it is that you're here to create, is that growth will show up, results will show up outside of ways in which you can comprehend. And that's why I've labeled today's live stretch your capacity. Because stretching the capacity of your nervous system, of your mind, of your body, of what you can contain is really the key to starting to up level, to create bigger and better things in this world. And the thing that I realized is that about stretching your capacity is that you don't necessarily need to do more. Stretching your capacity doesn't mean you have to do more. It could be you do less of something and that expands your capacity, right? It could be you just do something different and that's expands your capacity. I don't know about you, but for me, I've got in the habit many times of just going back to the familiar routines and habits and just like things that I do in my life and whenever I travel somewhere new, I find my comfort and then I tend to stick to those familiar things. But last week I chose to seek newness, seek variety, because this is one of the ways in which we break out of the comfort zone and expand the capacity. And remember when you expand your capacity, that's when you become a, a larger vessel or a larger channel for new information, new insights, new clarity, new creativity to come through. So it should always be a thing to ponder. I'm inviting you to ponder that. How can you start to stretch your capacity? What does that look like? And I'll give you an example of what I did in a moment. Last week I realized, or I was pondering how, you know, when I make content. I've recently been doing a lot of skip based content which is sort of acting and, and I've been curious around the skill of acting and how I'm so impressed by people who can have that ability to act and play a different role outside their current character. It's a skill, it's a creative gift. And I, growing up at school, hated acting. I hated anything of the arts. I just played sport, played semi professional soccer growing up. And I was just, that was my zone. Get me on a football field. And I was comfortable outside of that. Acting, singing, drawing, painting. I just, just despised it. I sucked at it. So I thought last week I chose to go to an improv acting class, my first ever improv class, because it was an edge for me. It was a bit of a stretch. It got me out of my comfort zone and it got me in a group or surrounded me by. It put me in a group of people that I wouldn't normally hang out with. And what I realized during this time was that improv provided me with so many valuable lessons about life that I'm going to share with you on here. Right? And this was an example of me stretching my capacity. So for you, it's just do something that you haven't done before, something that maybe scares you a little bit. Go sign up for a speaking, a speaking workshop, a singing workshop, whatever it might be. Go do something that's going to get you out of your comfort zone. So in this improv class, if you've ever done improv comedy before, you know that, you know, there is a bunch of different exercises that you do where you're speaking and acting and kind of like, you know, developing your creative abilities to speak on your feet. And what I realized that over the last kind of seven years that I've made making content, I've actually honed and refined that skill to speak on my feet, to trust what's trying to come through. And improv was just the perfect playground to start to see what I developed in this skill. And the best part about it when I was there was in the past I would judge myself a lot. I would often get in my head in these kinds of environments trying to prepare what to say, trying to like thinking about what other people are going to perceive me as, or even myself judging other people in these kinds of environments. And with awareness and with my own observation of noticing how my mind and body were responding and reacting during certain exercises, I got to see or got to let go of a lot of the conditioning around what is right, what is wrong, you're doing it right or you're performing or you know you're doing it good enough. Like all of these stories in my head started to show up around, don't fuck up, make sure you're doing it right. Try and be the best Right. And any improv and acting and arts there is. There's no right or wrong. There's just an expression. There's just what's coming through. And that should be all of our, you know, focuses, right? To try not to judge what's coming through. Right? To try not get in our heads and say, maybe I shouldn't, like, share that, or maybe I shouldn't be that way because that's not how I'm meant to be. But what if that is your expression? What if that's. If that's trying to come through in the moment? The more we can kind of let go of the resistance to our authenticity, the more naturally become a clearer channel for what life is trying to express through us. And what I realized in improv, there is literally no pressure. There was no consequences if you fucked up. And growing up playing soccer at home, like training with a team, there are consequences. If you fuck up, if you make a mistake, people are going to get angry at you. And I was coming from that conditioning of, like, don't fuck up, don't fuck up. Get it right, get it right. I heard my mind just, like, wanting to make sure I was doing it right always. And looking for validation from the people around me or comparing myself to others like, yeah, I did it better than them. But in reality, there isn't that. It's just play. So improv was, for me, the perfect playground of fun and play because there was no consequences. So what I would suggest for you to think about in your life as you listen to this, which is, where is your playground? Where is the place or the environment where you can play and have fun without consequences, where you can express yourself freely without judgment, without needing to be right. For a lot of us type A personalities, the overachievers, you know, we're so committed to always getting it right, always doing it the right way, always performing, getting the result, always critiquing and analyzing. And what that does over time is it starts to stifle your purity, your purity as a authentic express, uniquely expressed being on this planet. Because when you start to critique and analyze all the time, you're just getting in the way of the flow of the freedom of expression. So we must have playgrounds. We have. We must have environments that are free of judgment. Maybe it's when you dance at home, maybe you put on music, you dance and you just play and you express with what feels good. Maybe it's at the gym for you, when you're just moving and you want to let the body move the way it wants. Maybe you go to an improv class, maybe you paint or draw. Maybe you just do something that is just outside of the right and wrong. It's just what you feel like expressing. What I noticed when I came home from my improv class was that's so much energy, so much creativity. I felt. I felt alive, right? And I feel like it's a part of our purpose to start to seek being that make us come alive. You guys with me? Who's with me? Give me some. Like, just drop. Graham, good to see you, brother. Good to have you on here, man. Yeah, seeking these. Brendan, good to see you. Thanks, homie. So seeking things that make us come alive is the juice. Is the juice of life. Often the things that make you come alive are things that you're a little bit nervous to try. You're a little bit anxious to step into that arena. Thanks, Jess. Good to see you set. Satanika Tempter, Good to see you. Thanks for being here. So we're constantly seeking, where's the edge? What is the thing? That's a little outside of my comfort zone. But if I step in there with courage, with the willingness to grow and expand, the capacity grows. And then all of a sudden, you have more juice, more flow, more life, more energy, more frequency that you can access. So it's like a vessel, it's like a cup, right? It's like a bowl. As you start to go on these experiences that get you out of your comfort zone, your bowl gets. Gets bigger, your capacity gets bigger. All of a sudden, the shit that used to scare you, the stuff that used to make you anxious, doesn't anymore because you've done it. So now the next time I'm going to improv, I'm like, hey, sweet. I've done that. I've been in this environment. This is now sort of familiar to me. It's not going to make me as anxious. It's like these Instagram lives, you know, I used to start. I started these Instagram lives when I had about thousand followers. I was usually coming on here talking to myself. No one was tuning in. And it was scary to me because I was like, no, you know, what if no one shows up? What if I say the wrong thing? How am I going to know what to say? Instagram lives used to scare the shit out of me. Now I've been doing this for seven years. I come on here, even though I can't see your faces, I feel like I'm just having a general conversation with people that I know, and it's not scary to me. Okay. So it's an example of just show up in the areas that you're afraid of, then your capacity up levels and now all of a sudden you have a new, a new ability to tap into something greater than what you were before. Thanks, Candice. So Moonlight Mean Austin right now, Austin, Texas. So improv comedy was amazing. I really recommend you find something this week or just have to think about something or somewhere you can take yourself that's going to get you out of your comfort zone. I also wanted to speak about some of the subtle effects of not being present in your life. Is, is something that I attune to and I would like you to become more attuned to in your life, which is what pulls you out of presence. What are the signs that you're not present? Right. What are the signs that you're not aware you're not actually here in your body? Because for me, the phone is something that the social media, the device will very quickly pull me out of the present moment, actually pull, pull me into my head. And if you start to operate through life, when you're in your head and not in your body, there is. It's almost like someone turned down the volume on life. The volume gets turned down, you become a little bit less sensitive, you start to appreciate things a little bit less. You start to miss opportunities that are around. So becoming more present. It's. It sounds trite because it's, it's so easily to. It's so easy to speak about this, but I really want to emphasize the importance of tuning into when are you present, when are you not, and make it a conscious priority every single day to make sure that presence is the number one thing that you prioritize. It's so easily overlooked because we have external demands, relationships, work, business, things that we have to do. But the internal priority of presence should go above everything else. And that will mean that you have to kind of set boundaries. You have to be confident, kind of strong in your, in your, in your way of living to say, hey, no, I will not compromise myself to do that thing if I cannot do it from presence. Or I need to have this amount of time or this. I need to have the space in my life to be with myself. Otherwise I can't bring presence to the relationship or to the business or to whatever. Maybe it's a boundary around something, some sort of activity or some, something that you use. For me, the phone is something I must have a boundary around because otherwise it will switch, swallow me up. I Lose my presence and then everything else in my life gets affected. So it's. It's the pain, right? We, to make this shift, whatever your thing is, you need to crank the pain lever around the thing that you're using that's taking you out of presence. What are the consequences of that? How bad is it going to get if you don't change? How bad is it going to get if you don't rediscover presence in your life? I'll give you a more direct example for you guys. Jess, thanks for following. Appreciate it. I'm glad you're getting some value from this. A more direct example of like how to pull this pain lever, which is when I use my phone for too long, I actually notice my eyes go really dry and my face starts to get like really tired and I actually look older than what I am. And for me, like my physical body, my health, my appearance is really important to me. So when I noticed the correlation between using my phone and making me look older, I was like, fuck that. Like, no, Like, I do not want that to happen. And all of a sudden I'd associated so much pain with using social media for too long that now it became easier for me to just put it down and go, no, I'm not going to go back there. Interrupting that pattern. So it's a really good lever to pull, is pull the pain lever. What is the consequence of you doing the thing you know you shouldn't be doing and dial that pain into more so that every time you think about going back there, just remind yourself like, this is the impact, you know, and that's how we start to break habits or that's how we stop self sabotage. That's how we break out of these toxic loops, is remind yourself that there is consequences to this. And if you're okay with those consequences, then cool, just keep going. But if you're not like me in my case, then usually that's the catalyst to make you stop. So I wanted to share that presence. Super important. And I also want to speak to something important for the fellows, the men on here, which is right now, my girlfriend Amanda has gone on a trip with one of her friends. And so I'm kind of running solo for the next kind of week out here in Austin. And what happens is I've been dating my girlfriend for the last eight years. And what's happened throughout the time that we've been together is that there's been periods throughout our relationship where I naturally feel like I want to be on my own right And I spend a lot of time with my girlfriend. We like best friends, we do everything together, and we just love hanging out with each other. But as a man, it's important to acknowledge or recognize that we must have time and solitude, right? We must be on our own. Because as when you spend time on your own as a man, you start to become more clear, you become more clarified. You start to notice some of the ways in which maybe you were depending on your partner to do certain things for you. Especially I'm noticing that, like, my girlfriend would sometimes pick where we go for lunch. She would organize certain things. I would kind of like just go with the flow, right? So now it's like down to me to start to become more organized, become more in control of certain areas of my life that I was outsourcing to her. So, men, I highly recommend, have time in solitude at least a few times a year. Make it. Make it a few days, a few weeks, whatever you can do. Because during that time, you'll find out a lot about yourself. I don't believe it's. I don't believe us humans are here to be on our own for long periods. Not at all. I feel like we're meant to be around other human beings. But there's something to having a couple of days on your own, like, you know, not being around anyone's company, spending most of your time in your own company. And you'll start to notice what comes to the surface, some of the shit that you may be avoiding, some of the habits you may be leaning on to pull you out of just sitting and being and resting in the truth of who you are. Because the more you can relax and rest into that, you know, place of peace that's back there always, forever and always the place. The part of you that's just watching, witnessing, observing life unfold around you, that's not jet labeling or judging anything. The more you can become familiar with that place, the more trust that you have that you have been taking care of, that everything that you want is coming to you, that everything is happening at just the right time. And sometimes we get so distracted by being around other people, doing other things that we forget who we really are. So being on your own is almost like a coming home. And you can have micro moments of being on your own when you're kind of at home in your meditation in the morning or whatever you do, but create the time to be on your own, to come back home to who you are, Right? So. And who you are is beneath the surface. It's back there, Eckhart Tolle is talks about. It's finding the life underneath your life situation. The life situation is how old you are, your name, what you do for work, who you hang out with and where you live. That's your situation right now, but that's not your life. There's something far deeper underneath all of that that represents, in my opinion, who you truly are. A unique expression, you know, true peace, calm, groundedness. And it's. It's. It's a place of being. It's not a place of doing. It's a place of surrender. It's a place of just relaxing. And, you know, if you're. If you've got big goals, sometimes you realize it's hard to just relax. It's hard to just stop and be. That's why it's so valuable. Do the shit that's hard. So if slowing down and just being and relaxing is hard for you, make time for that. There's some growth there. But if you've just been chilling and relaxing and being for too long and now that's easy for you, maybe go out and create something. Maybe that's gonna be the hard thing. So you can see where I'm going with this, and I'm going to emphasize a point, which is if you tune into my content, if you know about me, if you know how I'm choosing to live my life, it's. I want to play big. I want to play big in this life. But something that I remind myself and I remind you, playing big doesn't necessarily mean doing more. Like I said, playing big could be just sitting and being in meditation for a few hours. Couple hours. Playing big could be just going out to a park and reading a book. Find the playing big, and it's connected to the stretch. It's connected to the thing that's hard to you, right? So hope this is resonating. Guys, thanks for tuning in. If you want to go back and revisit any of these lives, they'll be on my podcast. They'll get posted on my podcast as well. If anyone has any questions, I'm more than happy to answer some questions for the next five minutes or so, and then I'll start to wrap this up. But for the fellas that are on here, if you want an excuse to slow down, if you want an excuse to kind of come back to being and presence and do it in a beautiful location, you may or may not have known that I'm hosting another men's retreat out in Sedona, Arizona. At the end of November, we have about six spots left. So if you do want to come out, connect in person with a group of epic men, please send me a dm. More than happy to give you some more information on the retreat. But yeah, I just feel like it's a good time of the year to start to wind down. I feel it within my body and my soul that I want to come back to just more being now. I've just created and done a lot over the summer period, but now it's like it's time to power down a little bit. Come back to that place of just existing, allowing a new level of flow to come through that looks a little bit different than how it was in the summer because we're constantly expanding, we're constantly evolving and growth will look different depending on the season. So, fellas, hit me up if you want to learn more about the retreat. If anyone has questions, drop them in. I'll happy to answer questions. Good shit, Graham. Glad it was clear for you, bro. Alright guys, otherwise I'm gonna wrap it a few more seconds. If you have a question, drop it in. Otherwise I'm gonna close it out. It's been really great to be on here to connect with you all. I'll start to do more lives as normal on here as we start to lead into the retreat. But again, thank you for tuning in. I really appreciate you, Simon. Awesome, bro. I'll be in touch and we'll see you again real soon. Have a great week. Peace. There we have it, my friend. Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. One last thing before you take off, I want to tell you a little bit about the Path, which is a four month men's program that I facilitate. Enrollments are currently open. And if you're a man listening to this, or you know, a man that may feel the call to step into a men's program and men's group, then this is the opportunity for him. And if you're tuning into my content, if you're here, you're listening to this, there's some sort of resonance through what I'm putting out. There's something that's calling you to step into this work. And I have decided that I wanted to, you know, create opportunities for men to come together to attract the right kinds of men who are willing to support each other in this journey. And what the PATH is. It's a four month men's program where we go into each of the domains, all of the domains of a man's life, his Relationships, his finances, his spirituality, his health, his fitness, all the areas to help him achieve full potency. And we do this through a very specific, measurable, tracked program where we have structure and we have accountability and we have guidance. And essentially, we meet every week, we come together, we measurably track progress in each of these areas, and we have safe spaces where we can open up around other men to release the things we've been holding on to, to release the blockages that holding us back from being true, authentic, grounded warriors in this earth. And if you're here, you know the urgency, you know the need for this kind of work, especially for us men to step into this new level of leadership. So I just wanted to let you know that we're now taking enrollments for the next round. It's something that, you know, I really feel that this is my heart and soul's calling to bring this work to fellow men, to fellow brothers like yourself. So if you head on over to thepathbrotherhood.com youm'll be able to learn more information about the path, what it's about and how to apply. And if there's something in your soul that's resonating with what I'm sharing, then please follow that. Follow that calling. Because on the other side of it is a whole new realm of possibility, power and confidence that will just start to emit from you. It will emanate out of you. You deserve it, my friend. You fucking deserve it. Thank you for being here. I appreciate you. And hopefully we'll see you on the inside. Take care.