SSP149: Kambo, Emotional Growth & The Key To Relationship Longevity

Hey, what's going on? My friend wanted to jump on here and do a live stream today just to debrief things that have been unfolding for me over the last week here in Bali right now. Have an amazing time and if you're watching my stories or you, you followed along and some of the things that I was up to the last week, I did my first kambo ceremony, which is a frog medicine that is used in the Amazonian tribes to cleanse and purify the body. So I'm kind of on the other side of that and I wanted to come back on here and just share some life updates and lessons with all of you. So thanks so much for joining me. I hope you're having a good start to the week or about to start the week, no matter where you are in the world. And I have a few things that I want to cover today, a few things that I'll speak on and then share, just lessons and then we can have some questions at the end if you're, if you're open for it. But like I said, I want to debrief my cambo session because it was fucking intense. I honestly, I'm in no rush to do it again. But I've got some really good insights that I'll share with you. I'll share some things I've noticed as well just in my relationship as we're navigating this next chapter of our journey and some things that are kind of bubbling to the surface for me. And then I'll also share some things around what I'm noticing around how to maintain emotional sensitivity while playing big in business or your career, whatever it may be. This is particularly relevant for the men on here, the high performing men, because I know that's a big challenge in the guys that I work with, so I'm going to speak to that a little bit. Kobe, my man. Good to see you, King. So guys, last week I'm here in Bali, obviously last week there's a very common thing called Bali belly out here where certain bacterias and certain things that you can pick up quite easily through the water or the food or whatever. Bottom line is if you catch it, you're going through a bit of a rough time. Your body goes through a big purging process. So I caught some sort of bacteria. My gut was not doing well and nothing was sitting in my stomach. Everything I ate or drank would just come out the other end pretty quickly. So my, my purge had already started to some degree and I had already pre planned to do Campo, which is like the ultimate medicine for purging on Friday. So I was going through it already, you know, feeling a little bit nervous because I didn't have a lot of energy in my body going into this ceremony. So I was like, fuck, am I going to be okay here? Am I going to make it through? It's either the perfect time or the worst time to do it. So there's always a bit of nerves. Like if anyone who's done plant medicine work or anyone who has dabbled in these modalities, right, you know, be it mushrooms, ayahuasca or DMT or cambo, whatever it might be, whenever you're doing a new medicine for the first time, there's always some nerves because you're going into the great unknown. There's that you're about to consume this substance or whatever and you don't really know how your body's going to respond. So I felt that nerve, those nerves, a bit of nerves going into this. I've done many other plant medicine, so I felt somewhat ready to go in there. But for me, just the weakness of my body was the main concern. But the way I would describe Kambo, if you're intrigued to know more about it, the way I would describe it is imagine like the 10 worst hangovers you've had in your life. Well, if you're stupid like me growing up and you drank too much alcohol, I would remember these hangovers where I'd just be so fucking sick that I'd be on the toilet just like vomiting. It was like that combined into about a 30 minute session. So that's why I didn't really like Cambo because it was just so intense and so nauseating. But the purifying ability to pull out whatever is inside of the body, the toxins, the impurities, the, you know, whatever, whatever toxicity from the past is stored in the cells and the tissues. It, this medicine will pull it out and it will do that through like physically vomiting, which that's why you drink about one and a half liters before you take the medicine. The medicine is from a frog. It's a poison from a frog that gets put in your arm and it gets put into like burn marks and you're like four burn marks get put in the arm and then the medicine goes in and in space of about five minutes, you start to feel immediately this hot energy come up through your body. And I just immediately wanted to be sick. So I'm not a big fan of that feeling in general. I don't think anyone is but you essentially go into that for about 30 minutes to an hour and then on the other side of it, you're essentially cleansed of whatever the fuck your body was holding onto. Years of past stuff, they get stored in there. So I can safely say today I'm feeling super clear, super sharp mentally, very sharp physically. There's pretty much no inflammation in my body at all right now. I posted on my story earlier just like how kind of lean and clean I feel internally. But it did take me a few days to bounce back to this level of clarity. I was pretty tired. I was been taking it easy the last few days. So Cambo is known for that. It's known for the benefit of the detoxification that you get. So if you are someone who's looking for some sort of physical cleanse, I would say that is a really good place to start. The reason I chose to do it was because I'm going to do my first ayahuasca ceremony in Spain in March and I want to kind of do some prep work leading up to that. So a good friend of mine was a facilitator out here, which is why I jumped at the opportunity. So the other thing that happened last week for me was my girlfriend Amanda, who makes the content with me. You guys probably seen her on the videos, right? She flew back to Lisbon. She has a home in Lisbon in Portugal. And I'm going to be staying in Bali for a couple more weeks. And this time around for us, we've obviously spent lots of time apart over the last nine years that we've been together. And sometimes there's a lot of solace and clarity. You get in time being alone and sometimes it's really difficult. It's really difficult saying goodbye to someone you love. And for us, we don't necessarily know when we'll see each other again, probably in a few weeks time. But yeah, it doesn't make it any easier. So there's a bit of a grieving process that we go through when we say goodbye to each other. But for me there's always again, being on my own. I feel like it's so important for men to have extended time on their own. Especially when you're in a relationship, especially when you're in a long term relationship. Because when you're with your partner it's great. You get your fun, you get to drop into some of those comforts and the ease and the flow of being with your partner. But when you're on your own, you're forced to kind of sharpen the edges a little bit in your life as a man, you're forced to kind of sit with whatever discomfort you might have been avoiding through just being with, with your significant other. So that's what I'm doing this week is trying to really clean up the distractions and just hone in my practices again. For me that be meditation and my health and my sleep and all these things. So riding it solo right now, which is, which is great but also kind of sad because I was having such a great time with Amanda and I do business with Amanda. So, you know, it's always, it forces us to pivot, right, forces us to adapt how we show up in our business and our brand because we make content together. And she's such a big part of what I do. So yeah, we're navigating that. But she's now, you know, eight hours behind me on the time zone. But my next chapter is I'm off to Miami. I'm going to be flying to Miami in a couple of weeks time spending a few weeks out there, which is going to be fun to be back out in America. And you know something that I noticed since I've been here in Bali, because Bali, for those who haven't been, it's just a fucking haven for if you wanting to get dialed in your life physically, you know, mentally, you just, you eat, clean, the best gyms are out here. Everything's at your fingertips. Everything's so accessible and the energy in this island is really, really high. So you can really like lock into a real good rhythm and routine, especially if you're doing business right. And for me, I noticed a tendency to be training a lot to be very, in my masculine, to be very like pushing, pushing the edge a little bit. Pushing the limits could have been one of the reasons why I got sick, right? And I've noticed very acutely now because of, you know, how long I've been monitoring my own internal patterns. I'm acutely aware of when there's an imbalance in my masculine and feminine energy. And I would invite you guys to be tuned into this as well in your own body is like when you do start to push the dial a little bit. Especially if you're tending to tendency to be a high achiever or driven type personality like me. Notice what happens when you, when you push the gear too far into the masculine. For me, that is training lots at the gym, working longer hours, maybe more stimulation, it's more yang based activities, more doing. And I noticed for me there was less meditation happening there was less time in contemplation. There was less time drinking tea in the morning and giving myself an hour to two hours to slow down and tune into myself. Because of the time zone. I was getting up at 6am, getting straight into calls. I noticed this starting to deplete energy. I noticed there was an imbalance happening. So when you catch that show up in your life, it's so important to recorrect that. And feminine based practices for me are how I do that. Yin practices for me, that is yoga for the me is qigong. Spending more time in meditation, listening to music, doing things that are slow and sensitive and soft and gentle. For men, that's so hard to do right, but it's so imperative, it's so essential if you wanted to develop the ability to sustain long term healthy relationships while achieving big in business, I'm all for that. But to sustain long term healthy relationships, we have to develop the ability to balance out these masculine and feminine energies within us. Because if you don't do it, you become very in your head, you become very disconnected from the body and you become very numb to emotions. And that's how we're really experiencing life. We're experiencing life through our emotions. And the quality of your feeling, the depth to your feelings should be the key indicator of success in my opinion. So I try to optimize my life around success being how deep am I feeling and when I'm pushing the limits too much, be it through gym and working out all these things, I start to lose that depth of sensitivity and then other areas of my life get impacted and sometimes it's okay. Like for me, I give myself permission to do that sometimes. Fine find to crank it for a little bit. You know, if there's a, you're in a, you're in a growth phase in your business or whatever it might be, it's seasonal. So I'm in a growth phase right now. I'm prepping for this next round of this men's community that I run and my coaching and I'm in a phase where things are expanding so I'm okay to push it a little bit. But I know in the background there's a recreation that happens, there's a rebalance that has to happen at some point. Just like life or nature naturally recalibrates things through the shift and changes in the season. Good to have you guys here. What's up surfs? What's up Yaddy? So you know, the reason I bring that in is because, you know, I noticed these seasonal shifts and Changes happening in my business, I noticed them happen in my relationship. I noticed it happened in my health. And I want you to tune into that in your life, too. Where is that showing up? What season are you in in each of these core areas? The thing that I'm most reflecting upon in this stage in my life, in my relationship with Amanda, is, you know, this next initiatory pathway as a man to have a family, you know, to get married. What does that look like? You know, I know this is the year for that for me, and there's obviously a bit of nerves and, you know, fear around that because it's the great unknown. But there's now a part of me that's come to the realization of the truth that this is. It's time, you know, and that's. That's a big thing that I'm, like, starting to sit within my own process, which is like, I'm ready to bring a child into this world, you know, and even though my mind still tells me all, there's certain things in business or in your life that aren't structured correctly or certain things you want to have in place before you have a kid and all this stuff, I just know that the next level for me is about having a kid, and it's about getting married and bring. Raising my family, like having a family, you know, So I share that. Because whatever these big things are for you and your life, there'll be something, something big decision or some big thing that you're contemplating in your own life. It's. It's important to give yourself the space to acknowledge and sit with what is the underlying truth, what's trying to emerge. And only God can give you those answers. Only source or, you know, divine intelligence can give you those answers. But it's so important to not make those decisions from the mind and not let the mind delay certain decisions out of fear. That's. That's the thing that I'm sitting with, With. With having a child, right? Like, my mind wants to delay these decisions based on external factors because of fear of X, Y, Z. But if there's an underlying truth, like, this is the time, it's time to do it. Like, it's time, I got to honor that. So stay tuned, guys. We'll see. Families to come, kids to come. So I wanted to speak as well to the importance. I mentioned it as well, just for the guys here and same as the woman, like, the emotional sensitivity that must be developed to be able to maintain deep connections in your relationships and still achieve a lot in Business or your career or your creative endeavors or whatever that may be. How do you actually do that? How do you get a lot, a lot done in your life without depleting or sacrificing yourself along the way? And because I see it happen too often, right guys, high performing men just crushing it in their business, but it comes at a cost. They sacrifice the intimacy in their relationship, they sacrifice the fun in their relationship, they lose that spark. And it doesn't matter how much money you make or how successful your business is, if your relationship is losing its joy, if you're losing the fun and joy in your relationship, you can feel pretty broke pretty quickly, right? And you realize like what's actually important, you know, and it's so important that we balance our priorities to make sure that we're not compromising the things that really matter. It's even more important if you have kids or a family that you get this balance right. So I'm going to share with you how I get this balance right. I haven't mastered it, but I'm doing a lot better at starting to achieve a lot of things and be productive, whatever, however you define that, but also be connected and just to maintain a relationship with my partner that stands the test of time and stands the test of challenge. The first thing for me has been about caffeine management. That's been a really big thing for me. You know, cutting back my coffee intake, cutting back the amount of caffeine that I allow into my life. It's allowed for much more sensitivity and this, you know, for you, maybe something else, maybe it's nicotine, maybe it's sugar, whatever it might be. But for me, caffeine was something early on that had control of me. I was very dependent on coffee and certain things to get me up and about for the day. And what I realized, bottom line, is that it was a coping mechanism. There was something I was afraid of facing. I was afraid of being with the underlying tiredness and the story that my mind would tell me around all of that. So learning to reduce my dependency on caffeine allowed me to become more sensitive to the needs of my body, allowed me to understand when I'm not in a lot, when I am, and when I'm not in alignment. And that should be the thing we optimize for and how we show up in our lives. Are we operating from a place of alignment? Because that's how we sustain longevity in all things. So when you're reaching for the caffeine, when your body's saying, I Don't need that right now. But you have a dependency on something external to get energy. You're moving further and further away from being in alignment. Okay, so for me, reducing caffeine was a big thing. Allows me to be more in tune with my body. And then the second thing was learning the difference between relying on dopamine and oxytocin. Now what I mean, the difference between these two is really key because so many of us just are fully dopamine driven in terms of we're reaching for dopamine stimulation all the time, be it through our phone or other things. And if you're in a long term relationship, you need to learn the ability to get accustomed to cultivating oxytocin, which is the chemical for bonding. It's the hormone for feeling like really connected emotionally with someone. And that if you look up all the oxytocin and what it does to the body, it's an amazing, amazing chemical and hormone and what it does. But so many of us high achievers are devoid from oxytocin because we're so dopamine saturated that we lose the ability to be able to emotionally bond with the people that we love. Now what happens when you release, when you cuddle or you spend time being really intimate with someone you love and you build that body on body contact, oxytocin gets released and it's like it starts to heal the body, it starts to process emotions. You literally start to feel at peace and relax when you can learn the ability to tap into this chemical, this hormone. So making that shift for me has looked like in my relationship, no matter how busy I am or no matter how much I'm traveling away from my partner, we make it a priority to connect with each other emotionally, to have quality time together. And if we're not in physical proximity, we make sure we call each other and have time where we're really connecting. If you are in physical proximity with the person that you love, it means making intimacy, making physical sex or time, just like hugging, getting intimate with each other an absolute priority. Because it's so easy to overlook that when you're in a long term relationship and all these like, you know, things to do in your life, in your business and all these other things, you can overlook the importance of just physical connection. When you give yourself that time for physical connection, you get this amazing release, you know, happened to me last week before Amanda left. I was feeling a little bit anxious on one of the days. I just feeling I was a bit all over the place in my Life. And you know, Matt and I made it a priority to just connect intimately and have some fun together. And I noticed how sex, the practice of slowing down and getting into my body and being intimate with her allowed some of this energy, this anxious energy in my body to be dissipated, to be dissolved and to be released. And it was a great reminder for me that sex is, is more than just, just a physical exchange. It's an energetic and spiritual practice where if you can make it a priority in your life, it is an amazing tool to start to release and recalibrate yourself on an emotional level. So that's the other thing, the other thing, like I said already, was the feminine practices. You must have feminine practices in your life. So many of us are so masculine imbalance, we're so heavily in our masculine that we lack that sensitivity, you know, the softness, the gentleness, the tenderness that allows us to be in our, in our body, that allows us to have long term connections. So feminine practices are crucial. I mentioned some of those already, like yoga and meditation and slowing down, listen to music and being in nature, whatever it may be for you. And the most important part is just making this a priority. Like if you really care about, you know, deep relating, deep relationships and deep feeling in your life, you've got to make it a priority, you know, And I realized that that's, that's really determining what we, where we make our decisions. It's like what we place as importance. You know, if you want your relationship to, to be a place of fun and then excitement and effortlessness, you got to make, you know, connection a priority in your life. And that does look like, okay, how am I going to show up for myself today? That, that represents my relationship being a priority. Because if you're just focusing on business and you're just working all the fucking time, then of course you, of course your relationship is going to be struggling. Of course you're not going to have any emotional bandwidth for the people that you love. But if the people you love do really matter to you, then it's, it's imperative that you have some structure in your day where you're showing up for you, so that when you're showing up for them, you've got, you've got capacity, you've got enough presence, you got enough, you got enough left over to give to the people you care about. So make it a priority. Make deep feeling a priority in your life. Okay? And that might look like carving out a bit of extra time in the morning to sit in meditation. It might look like Carving out some time in the evenings to put on some music so you're not always on your phone. Just, like, create these. Create structure where you can let go of control and relax into feeling and expressing and being. So simple, but so hard to do, right? So simple, but so hard to do. And if you make that a priority, everything else becomes a lot easier because the quality of your expression, the quality of, you know, your presence becomes so much higher. And. And for men, the greatest gift you can give your woman is the ability to be a deep, grounded, solid foundation for her to express what she's feeling. The only way you can pull that off as a man is to create the right structure in your life so that you are embodied within yourself. You're showing up in your own practices and learning to become stable with your own emotions. And that for all men is just something that you got to prioritize. Simple as that. Guys, I'm gonna just pause there. Been flowing for the next little bit. Thanks so much for tuning in. Thanks for being here. If you have a question, you're more than welcome to put it in the chat and I'll answer it. Otherwise, for the guys that are on here, if you're a man and you are vibing, resonating with what I'm sharing, I have the next men's group. It's called the Embodied Entrepreneur. It's a men's group I run primarily for guys who are in relationships. But it's open for any. Any man that wants to have a support system around him, to have a group of men who is inspiring, to raise his standards in life, to have a clearer vision for what he wants in his health and his relationships. The next group is starting in about 24 hours, so if you want to get some more information about that, just DM me brotherhood and I'll send you some more info. Only if it resonates, only if it calls to you. It's not for everyone. Surf's up. Thanks for tuning in, buddy. Do I pray? Yeah, I do pray my prayer. It just looks like a simple, you know, statement or mantra or something that I say to God when I'm. When I'm in the end of my meditation. Just something to inspire me for the day, which is like, hey, work through me today, God. Use me as a source of service. Use me as a source of contribution, God. Work through me. Express through me. Allow me to let go of all fear. Allow me to be a conduit for love. Allow the greatest guidance to move through me. And it's essentially for me. My prayer is about getting out of the way. Let me let go of resistance. Let me surrender to the flesh flow of life. So yeah, my prayer is usually something like that, some sort of channeled statement that needs to come through. But thanks for tuning in guys. This these IG lives will also go up on my podcast. If you want to go back and re listen or revisit this, it will be on the podcast. Thank you so much for tuning in. Thanks for watching the content as well. I really hope it's been helpful for you on your journey. And we've got plenty more to come, so have a great week and I'll be in touch real soon. Bye for now. Ciao.