SSP150: Integration of Ayahuasca Experience Insights

And we're live. The boys are here, here in Alva, Portugal. Mate, really looking forward to Dive Z with you today. We're. We've got the Instagram Live going. We're going to be doing a live recap of our Ayahuasca journey that we just went on, what, three, four days ago now?

Yeah.

And we're going to be recording on the podcast as well. So we're doing a live podcast right now. We're just unpacking our experience and our first ever Ayahuasca journey. How you feeling? Post ceremony Bells feel good?

I would say a mix of feelings. I feel like it's been a little bit tougher to get, like just start integrating back into the real world a little bit like, I don't know. What's the word? I don't know. My memory was a little bit lacking. We could be lost some keys, like a couple of things, but I feel very tapped in still. And when we were at the beach today doing that walking meditation, I just felt like an immense amount of gratitude that actually brought me to tears. And so I feel like I, I am still tapped in, but it's about like figuring out how to get back.

Into the real world with responsibilities as well. I feel like it's probably totally normal to still have a bit of delay coming back into 3D world after being in, you know, three nights in a row in DMT land for six to eight hours. There's always going to be a bit of, a, bit of a turbulent reintegration into, into normal life. And, you know, we're out here, man, and I just, I'm really grateful to have you here in Portugal. It's really special to, to spend time here, here in one of my favorite places in the world. And this morning we, for those who don't know, this morning we did a walking meditation on the beach and then we had a beautiful swim in the cold water. And I just think that's a recipe for, for happiness.

It's perfect.

Perfect. You had to start the day. Yeah.

That couldn't be anything better.

And I appreciate that. And honestly, what brought me to like a little bit of tears this morning was just like being very, you know.

Gracious of being here with you, spending time with you. It's been a, a full circle moment because you started coaching me online like four years ago in four or five when I was in the corporate world and I thought about how different my life is today then three years ago where I would have been waking up, you know, getting the hot public transit Going into an office. There wasn't even windows in my office at the time. And here I am, you know, starting my day with my best, you know, best friends on the beach, walking and doing. Yeah, just like, thank you luck.

Yeah, that's special bone. It's special. So the fact that we got to share ayahuasca together for the first time was really special for me too. And I want to kind of. Kind of rewind a little bit and give some of the viewers or the listeners a bit of an insight as to what our journey has been like. Be in the preparation, be it during the ceremony and then be it after in our integration. Because I know a lot of people, A lot of people have done ayahuasca. I've become aware of that recently. Is the aspire common medicine. And the people that have sat with. There's a lot of people who haven't. A lot of people are intrigued and interested and maybe thinking about going on their first journey like us. It was kind of something for me where I said, I'll wait until the medicine finds me. And it really did. Like, it just showed up synchronistically in my life in an opportunity that I couldn't say no to. And I guess you can go out seeking this kind of medicine too. But my understanding, my biggest takeaway or unpack some of the lessons and takeaways for you as well. One of my biggest ones was I've already been living this. This. I've already been in this world. I've been here many times before. I've been deep in the meditation. I've done other plant medicines, so none of it was new. And I think I had this expectation that it was going to be this huge ego death thing. And I was like, oh, he's kind of like shatter my reality. And it kind of did. It was like really blissful and beautiful. And it was nice to just lingering this place and almost playing this realm that felt very familiar.

Yes.

And I'm almost really grateful that I waited so long to do Ayurveda's go. And I went deep into my meditation practice and I went deep into yoga and went. Tried other plant medicine so that when it did get to this time to commune with the grandmother, it was. It was a beautiful relationship that I had with her. How was it for you? Was that a similar kind of experience?

Sure it was. It was so familiar. Like when I got in there, I'm like, oh, I've been here before, you know, so it. It really reminded me of, you know, if any of the viewers have done NN dmt, whether or not to smoke it or through a vape. It's basically like an elongated version of that and more so I guess, with, like, the feminine touch. And they. They speak of that. And when they. When they spoke of that, I was like, ah, like, what does that actually, like, feel like in a psychedelic journey? But I felt that it seemed like a. Like a motherly or a grandmotherly, like, kind of hug, and just like, it was. It was beautiful. The. And, you know, I was. I could Moving around, dancing a little bit. I'm like, oh. Like, I think ayahuasca has been very different of what in my brain of, like, what the experiences could be like. And I'm happy it was like that because I definitely learned that, like, peak experiences are good. They're amazing, but you don't. You don't always need to have peak experiences. And I'm someone who, in my life, I usually hammer. Hammer the throttle of those things because I want those peak experiences. And I think this was, like, a nice, gentle reminder that, like, you know, how amazing just the simplistic things are, like, sitting in the nature can be for your soul. Agreed. Agreed.

And for me, one of the most transformative moments in the whole retreat was in the first morning where we took kambalo. And for those that don't know, the retreat consisted of five days. We sat with ayahuaspa three times on the first morning. We did kambo as a way to cleanse and purify and almost, like, prepare the mind and body and emotions for the medicine. Right. And I. On that morning, because I had done kambo for the first time five weeks prior, my body was really nervous, bro. I was shaky.

I know. I never see you're nervous. And then when you were getting nervous.

I'm like, oh, Woke up on that morning, and I. I didn't have to instruct my body almost knew what was coming. And for those who have done Campbell before, it's. It's a purge like nothing else. It was a guttural cleanse of years of that is stored in the liver or wherever. So that first morning doing cambo with you and the boys was one of the hardest things I feel I've ever done. And Liam was the last to go, so he's. Yeah.

So, like, just to take everyone through, like, the experience a little bit, we had to chug two liters of water, and it's actually like, a large amount of water. You know, you go into this and they put. What was the stuff in there? Yeah, some kind of powder that helps, I guess, with the purge. And we're chugging these back and you know, some people, like Jordan was, you know, know one of the first to go. And I'm watching, you know, this person go around the shaman and like burn holes, little holes into the arm where they're going to essentially put a frog secretion which essentially is poison. A ven. Yeah, a vena. And I'm looking to best friend Jordan, and he's looking like he's going to die within 45 seconds of that going on. I look at his brother Fraser, he starts. His whole face starts to get inflamed. I look at my other buddy Drake, and everyone looks like they're dying. And I'm sitting there thinking, what did I fucking sign myself up for? Like, what am I doing? And then finally it comes to me and everyone has like kind of settled down. They've stopped QQ. I'm just going in and sure enough. Yeah, 45 seconds in, just on all fours.

Yeah. I think the last spot is definitely the worst. Don't go like that last. The other thing that was quite scary during that time was before we got Adniz to the Cambodia dishon was like, oh, if you notice that if you might get some swelling around the throat and if you struggle to breathe, just put your hand up and come cut support you. I was like, fuck, I bet that doesn't happen to me. Well, lo and behold, I'm like mid journey and my throat starts closing up and I couldn't swallow it. I remember I was like. I was like, should I say something? You know, should I stare it? And I put an apple tant up and Li Fu, he's like, yo, we need help. Yeah.

The Shavans and the people just were like kind of talking in the middle and I'm like, hey, hey, joke.

And then she just came around, is so relaxed and just said, oh, it's not. You'll be sorry. I was like, I. I guess that's the energy you want from the shaman. I for you, something that I want to emphasize to everyone watching or listening who are thinking of don't ayahuasca. Like we lucked out or didn't really locked out. We. We, you know, attracted for sure. This held our shaman where we had like shaman royalty. And I've spoken to a few other people who knew Waxy.

Yeah.

Who said, this is like, she is the goat.

Yeah.

So we had one of the best shamans going around. And I think that's the energy you want in your facilitator when you're freaking out, thinking you need the mega. Yeah. So that kind of set the time for. For the. The journeys. But I remember being so exhausted after cambo, bro, that all day I was like, man, I am wrecked. That just took so much out.

And I was thinking, I was like, I. I think I'm tapping out of ayahuasca tonight because I was just trained. And after learning, like, the ideal scenario is to probably do cambo three to seven days prior, so you get that purge out, you're getting all these electrolytes out as well, which are obviously important. So, yeah, I was feeling pretty exhausted, but after, I think, massage, being outside a little bit. Refuel.

Yeah.

Felt like, yeah, good day.

I think that day we did some yoga, we did a sauna and then come for the ceremony, which was about 8pm our first ceremony. I was nervous only because I just didn't feel like I had a lot left in me. So I was like, I don't know how much the medicine is going to work with you. I'm feeling pretty depleted after the cambo. And I was a little bit nervous going into that first journey because it's the great unknown. And I think that's the beauty of plant medicines and choosing to do this work. If you're learning to be okay with not knowing what's going to happen to you. Surrender. Yeah, full surrender. And one thing that I noticed when the way the shamans facilitated that first journey, just the intentionality, the depth of reverence they had, the prayers that they were just, you know, expressing continuously into the medicine about every single cup. Yeah. And they would say his prayer and that we'd be served to us. And there was Harpe, that was Sergs. That's your job. Yeah. This is another medicine that you really. It really confronts you with the physicality. Like, it's quite a really grounding medicine. And I skipped the whole day, the first night because I just didn't feel like my body can handle it. But you did.

I did.

Well, I.

Well, I asked. I was like, is this going to, like, wake me up a bit? And they're like, oh, yeah. I'm like, all right, let's, let's go for it. But I've done it three times prior, and each time tobacco and nicotine I'm very sensitive to. So, like, I was like, just give me a little bit. It didn't feel a little bit. You're just like, oh. And you're supposed to do not both nostrils. But I was Like, I'm going to throw up if you do the other nostrils. So I just like kind of went back, kind of tapped out was, you're not supposed to do it. I kind of relaxed.

What was going for your mind during the. That first cup as you had after you had your first cut? What. What was going to your mind and waiting for the onset?

Yeah, just pure, just. Just accepting the unknown and just being okay with it and just like reminding myself how fortunate I've been in my life where I've been able to experience, you know, many psychedelic journeys and I've yet to have a bad experience. So I kept reminding myself that. And knowing the active ingredient that's going to basically working is dmt. And it. That DMT for me just feels so healing and like my body and my DNA was like, created for that medicine. So I kept reminding myself that there was definitely times where I'm like, oh, fuck, like we're going in here, you know, and listening to so many people's different stories over the last few months of preparation. Like, one of my friends turned into like a fish for two hours. Like, you know, another person talked to God for two hours. Another person went through hell for two hours. So just like, knowing all these different stories, you just have to realize you can't expect. Stop expecting. And that is so hard for us humans to do. Even though I'm aware of this and I kept saying, don't expect anything. Can have intentions, but, like, you're still trying to.

Yeah.

You know, expect something.

In a sense. Yeah. There's a few things that I was kind of going through in my mind, but what I said to myself was like, I'm just going to meditate through this. And I think it took about 45 minutes to even feel anything. So that's why having a meditation practice already just helped me kind of let go, relax deeper into the void. I already knew what the void was. I was. I was learning to just connect with that place naturally before the medicine even kicked in. Yeah. So when it did kick in, it was always like, I'm already here. And it just like turned the lights up. We just turned the dial up a little more of it. Uh, so I was like, oh, this is, this is nice. This is beautiful. Actually, I'm in a bliss.

Right. It would take you, like, did you feel the first cup?

Did it take a couple very. Yeah, I think we all kind of shared a similar experience. The first cup was super gentle, which was kind of great. I like the. It's a nice, easy, gentle ride. And then we went back. I had another cup. Yeah, I think you have four, that first.

Five. Yeah, five.

Yeah.

So I didn't feel anything. Like, I didn't, like, just the littlest little bit for the first. I think three, actually. And I was, like, sucking around. No one was purging. I'm like, this is a stem. Like, what's going on? And then when I had my fourth.

I was like, oh, okay.

Like this?

Yeah, we're at that. So that the first night was this really gentle, beautiful experience, at least for Liam and I. And I was like, oh, okay. That's it. Like, yeah, cool.

Yeah. The rest of the room.

Yeah. Yeah. Little did we know the next night was about to knock us for seven. So we. We. We wrapped up the first line about 2:33am Pretty tired. Looking forward. We. We had a good sleep and we woke up. I woke up relatively fresh the next day. Yeah, me too. Me too. And I thought after that first experience, like, hey, maybe ayahuasca isn't this big, scary thing that everyone makes it out to be.

And I was. I was thinking it's kind of recreational. I could take this and go out.

You know, And I genuinely think that a good shaman, knowing what they did and, yes, they. They intentionally eased us into the experience. I think there was a part of them probably sussing out the entire group. So many people were first time, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that they were probably going to see how they, like, respond. Let's just keep it gentle. So much like, the energy they were bringing into the. The nights was determining the depth that we went.

And even their music the first night, it felt a lot lighter. Yeah. And the second night.

The second night.

Yeah. More intense.

Yeah. In all aspects. So also for people that don't know, like, the shamans are playing music throughout the entire. Probably six hours from, like 10:00pm through the 3, 4:00am yeah, they're just blasting out tunes. They're singing in Portuguese most of the time or their native language, playing guitar. And just their voice was just powerful. Really. It was like. It's really architecting the whole journey. Yeah, you.

Like when you're. When you're in it. And like, they would change songs or just even, like, vocal tone, like.

Yeah.

This certain vortex would go in a different way or you get a different color. And it's like. It's pretty fascinating because you kind of feel yourself, like, theme with sound.

Yes, yes. And it was activating different parts of the body and people. You could feel people in the room, you know, responding differently to These different tones, different experiences going on. That's it. That's it. So, like, so then day two was probably my favorite day because we. We did some yoga. We got an amazing massage. He took it real easy, and I'm glad we did, because night two was a granddaddy experience for us. It was so intense, and I think it's caught us off guard because you went into it.

I kind of smacked us a little bit because we were joking around. I'm like, ayahuasca. Like, it's great. It's amazing. Amazing medicine, but it's pretty light.

So the night to the way they set up Musaru washi, the way they set up the ceremony was they spent a lot more time sharing, going deeper into how to kind of work with the medicine, how to navigate through it, how to call, like, command fear to leave, leave your experience. And she was sharing things about, you know, setting really clear intentions on what do you want to get out of this? And making sure you hold steady with that intention.

Yeah.

I was like, okay, okay. So literally, you get out what you put in to the. To this plant, essentially. So they set the journey up. It was almost like they allyou d us.

Yeah.

They're like. They tossed it up. All we have to do is slam it on there, and that's what it felt like. We had one card. It started coming on. I thought it was gonna be like the previous nights. I immediately went and got a second card. You were saying.

I was like, you know, I almost went up there and was like, hey, can you start me off? And two, you know, give me a double. Yeah. We hit two within, I don't know, 20 minutes.

And I remember coming back to my mat, and she started ramping up her singing. Her voice was just. She was, like, just chanting, like, these powerful songs. And my old body, bro, just started coming online. Like, it almost like I just slingshot it into the reality. Yeah. Into the quantum field. All kinds of, like, fractal shapes were moving and changing. Yeah. And I was like, whoa. Like, this is. This is a lot more intense than last night. Yes. And I heard you next to me making this sound as though I was like, oh, he's in there. He's in there, you fool. You up, You. You in it.

Yeah. Yeah. Because we took another kind of medicine as well. I'm blanking on the name of it, but it upset my gun a little bit. So going into it. So then I was like, it was super. It was intense. And then I just kind of, like, went under my covers. I Brought my. My red light. Affordable red light because it kind of makes you feel like, oh. So I just like put that on my face for a little bit. And yeah, it was. It was wild that two cups at night felt probably two to three times stronger than the hive the night before. So that just shows you, like, environment, setting the music.

Yeah.

Can significantly change the outcome of the amount of medicine that's in your body.

Big time. Big time. And I had set the intention that night too, to go deeper, say. So I figured all the aura and it all just culminated in this huge experience that for me, man, was just pure bliss. Like it was up there for one of the top experiences I've ever had alive.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I remember how overwhelmingly pleasurable that was for me. And even there was mild moments of like, I could hear in the background people guttural purging through, obviously laughing. And it was pulling me out in moments. And I'd be like, oh, that's intense. I hope that has happened to me. I remember the fear coming in. I remember just going, no, no fear. I'm not. It's not. I'm not allowing fear come into my experience. And for the first time, pretty much felt like I was not phased by other people's experience. Because it. You're so in. Yeah. Yeah. And because at times it can feel like everything's just on top of you. When someone makes a sound, it's just big, funny. Yeah. It feels like. Yeah. Which. Which would often pull me out my serum, but this time I was just so in it, bro. So Islam is beautiful. Yeah.

You didn't. You didn't purge, right?

You didn't purge. Yeah.

At all.

I'm so grateful for that.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think, like, I think, well, one Campbell first day got all that out of quest. And then I just think prior work as well. I know years of meditation practice and other psychedelic use where if you are first timer in the psychedelic realm and you didn't have these practices, I can definitely see how it could be very challenging.

Big time.

Yeah. I definitely came out of there was like, I wouldn't actually recommend ayahuasa to everyone.

No.

It depends where they're at in their journey.

Definitely. And there were some people that nothing had happened to them. Yeah. Like when we did the integration after that day, they said, oh, I didn't have any visuals, I didn't get anything. And I was like, interesting. You know, it's almost like you gotta do the necessary work to be able to be sensitive enough to drop in deeper with what it's doing inside of you. And I think you don't have that sensitivity. You're kind of waiting. You're like you're trying to will something to happen and it doesn't.

It didn't. And the harder you try, the less it's gonna actually, like, work, probably cure you. And I believe it's working on the physical first. So if you have a relatively, let's say, healthy physical and you take care of yourself, I think it's a lot easier to get through to that spiritual realm. And you see those visions again. I saw more like colors, dimensions. I didn't get too much like, I guess, visions. Is that like. You know what I mean? Like, where some people are seeing, like actual, like, people or like beings, like, working on them. I didn't get to that level.

Yeah. Which I kind of folks.

But again, it's.

Yeah. I spoke about this somewhere. There was, for me, having done a lot of Joe Spencer's work and having a good intellectual understanding of what it means to cross into the boy, what it means to become nothing. No one, nowhere, no thing, no time. And to be in that space where all possibilities exist. When I was there, I was like, oh, I'm in, boy, right now. And in knowing that, I was like, I get to play in this place. My imagination is what I can play with. So I started saying prayers in that place, which is showing, give me the courage from my ancestors to lead with love, showing me the divine knowledge that I need to upgrade my soul. I started, like, speaking all these things into the void.

And when you're.

When you're nothing, all you are is a thought. And when that thought, when you have those thoughts or those prayers, they are real. In that place, your body activates to that energy. And as she's singing these powerful songs, I'm just like. I felt myself just getting activated and my heart just like. Just the pleasure I felt throughout my entire body was unlike anything I've ever felt.

Yeah, you become just another, like, just purely connected to every part of your body. Yeah, it just feels like incredible. And people who have, you know, experienced DMT5 me over and knows what that feeling feels like. And it's just like. It's really hard to put into words. And I do want everyone, like, whenever I have experiences like that, I always think of, like, my mom, my dad, my siblings, the people I love who maybe aren't in psychedelics. And I just think like, you know, you, like, make prayers where it's like, please, like, allow me or maybe help Lead the way into an experience like that by just being, you know, that person, that leader, so that you attract those experiences for those of you as well. And you're not necessarily forcing because there is something that can happen where I like go, oh, I'm like, mom, you need to do this. Or tattoo, you could do this. Or simulates.

Come on.

But, you know, I think there's obviously a better way of going about that.

Definitely, definitely. I don't know if you felt this during the journey as well, but there was this part of me that felt like I was being pulled up.

Yes.

While the, the medicine was kicking in, I could just feel my energy going.

Up and up and up. And what do you think? What do you think that is? I, I think it was obviously as.

As the DMT kicks in, you go closer to source. Yes. You become less matter, more attitude.

Yeah.

You become more light. Right. You mess up. You, you can move through time and space quicker because you are now at a lighter frequency. You know, you're vibrating faster. I think the, you know, if you were to measure your brain waves in that state, you're probably in that gamma state where like there's a lot of activity happening but you are completely still and the body's, you're, you're almost transcending that up. And I think there was, there was a, it was, it just felt so overwhelmingly pleasurable because you're moving closer to the source of creation, which, you know, whatever you want to choose to call that. But I think that source energy is just pure unconditional love.

That's it, that's what it reminds me every single time. Ayahuasca dmt, especially where I went into ayahuasca thinking it was going to be more difficult and challenging. And I'd gone into, you know, psilocybin journeys as well where like, you know, I'm trying to work on, you know, maybe addiction tendencies or something a little bit more deep rooted. But I'm trying to uncover maybe some emotional trauma or something in my life. And I go in with this like kind of battle mindset and every time it just like switches my brain. You'd be like, it doesn't have to. Healing doesn't have to be so hard. It can be through love and showing parts of yourself love and connecting to your heart. It doesn't have to be this like treacherous journey, which I think a lot of people, including myself, think it has to be, but it really always reminds me.

It does it?

Yeah.

The biggest takeaway I had from all these sins is Actually was. Fear is the only thing that's getting in the way.

Yeah.

Like when you remove fear completely from your being, what's left? It's fucking love and joy and peace and harmony and freedom. The creativity.

All the good stuff.

All the good stuff. It's like, it's just like when the clouds come over the sun. The sun doesn't go anywhere. It's just blocking the light from coming through. And I feel like.

Well, I like that.

That's what the spirit of fear does when we allow it in. And I think there's through unconsciousness which we all fall into and we include. When I'm unconscious, this fear spirit starts to like infiltrate my mind. And all of a sudden I'm worrying about shit, but doesn't really matter a hundred percent.

And there was like, you know, for a few days prior to the ayahuasca experience, I was, I was just hard on myself for a certain decision that cost me some money. And as soon as the medicine went into my brain and my body completely switched and it just showed me all the amazing things that have happened in the last year. And it's just like, just reminds me, like, stop focusing on the one, the two negative things that have happened and like all these amazing things that God or the universe has, you know, given me or came into my life, it's like, focus on these.

Yeah.

And that's always a very good vibe.

Yeah, definite, definite. I well said. Because I realized a lot of the pulling up of energy, like something is pulling you up. For me, what I realized was all the answers to our problems, they don't exist on a level of consciousness. That created thing, you have to go up in consciousness to see the answers that I couldn't see before. So I saw ayahuasca as this beautiful opportunity to look at all the areas of my life where I wasn't where I wanted to be, or I wasn't happy with the growth of my business in this area or how I was managing the team. And I could see it from this higher perspective where everything is love, everything is abundance. I could see the answers to these problems. I was like, ah, okay, I get it out again. I see where I'm showing up in a way that's not congruent to, you know, how I want to be or who I am about my core.

Yeah.

You know, so the insight for me was like, okay, now come back and remember that. Remember that in your life period. You know, I think that's again, it's so. It's pretty trite at this point, but the real ceremony is when you come out of it and you go back into your life and go, what was actually going to be different about me? Yeah, 100%.

And like, I think I completely agree. And there has been certain times where I've had peak experiences with psychedelics and I haven't necessarily integrated what I've learned. And then the next peak experience with psychedelics, it kind of like, it nudges or reminds you like, hey, I think you've already learned this. Like, let's integrate so we can learn some new things. Like, let's not waste time here.

Definitely, definitely. Yeah. What, what's your biggest focus now on. On the sudden integration side of things. Coming out of a experience like that or, you know, how do you want to be different?

I think really improving my relationship with rest and slowing down. I. I took away in the experience. It was very. I had these like vortexes and colors. It was really quick, like a really fast goal or push away. And I. A lot of the time I was like, let's slow down here. I'd like to like take this in a little bit more.

And what I took away from that.

Is like, maybe I'm going through life a little bit too quick and I'm focusing on the next thing always.

And like, you know, maybe I'll hit a goal.

I'll be like, great. I, I would say I lack celebration for myself. Um, and I think there is like, maybe like this like deep rooted, I don't know, unconscious insecurity of like, maybe not being enough. So it doesn't allow me to like just sit, rest, like even jumping into like float tents. It's something I do, I force myself because it's an hour of forced rest. So like, I really struggle with just like sitting down and resting. So I really taken away that it's all about quality over quantity in terms of like hours worth. And I've been fortunate enough in my life, I'd say In the last six to 12 months, I've made some progress. Pretty big decisions talk away from, you know, a certain business business partner and it to really open up space that has allowed me to attract certain people, business partners, businesses, opportunities into my life. And I'm like really able to finally see like the law of attraction working. Even still having these experiences, I catch myself in the same go, go, go. Like, you know, like clocks on day started like, whatever. I look at my to do list, I'm like, oh. Like I'm only halfway done. So I'm taking away that take time for myself, rest properly show up in the world with abundant energy. And when I actually properly rest, that's when I can, you know, pour from a full cup.

I love that, bro. That's beautiful grading stuff. And I feel like it's okay. I feel the same way. I have the same tendency and I feel the reminder for me is that even when you're not doing anything, even when we're not doing it or we're in that place of restoration or least activity and where our frequency is going up, that's when we get access to the clarity or the insight that is so valuable. Rather than trying to will our way through things because we're operating from this place of mild fear or scarcity, we block the created insight that can skip. Skip so that much time.

Yeah.

And all we had to do was like pull back it on the surface and make it look like we're doing. I think.

Yes.

But on the Internet there's so much happening and there's actually like more growth happening in the non doing that I need to remind myself of that all the time. And I feel a big thing for me when I integrate these experiences is I try to like, I can drag up the link the, the D and T. I try to drag out the, the high for as long as possible. So the walking meditation we did this morning, it was almost like, okay, wow. It's still, I'm still very much feeling the abundance and the joy. How long can I keep this here for?

Yeah. And for people, people out there that maybe don't or haven't experienced what that feels like. You know, a cracked pineal gland. Do you want to just describe to them maybe like what that feeling is like?

Yeah, answer them. Really. Question. Uh, I feel like it's different for everyone actually.

Every.

I think everyone has their own experience of what DMT does. Yes. In their brain and what it feels like to be in that state. And I would say the first time I fully cracked, it was my first BI D experience. I don't think I ever knew what source was until I really had that. Had that experience. Uh, so I think through the Jodi stuff and all of that and the breath holds and the breath locks and the deep breath work journey that I've been on that you can, you can reactivate that place. But for me, for me it's just a place where it's just, it's just blitz. I'm like. And it becomes a real body experience for me. It's not an ethereal like I'm traveling hours a day Is like, I still very much feel it in my body. Whereas some. I know some people, it's not like that. They're like, they're gone. Like they're in another dimension kind of thing. How is it for you?

Yeah, I'm very similar to that where the first time I did five. A sec. Oh, okay. All right, I get it now. Um, yeah, very similar. I would say I'm more sensitive as well to intuition and feelings and. Which is great. I like being sensitive. It's a good thing. And more sensitive you can become with your intuition. And you listen to these little things. Like, for instance, this morning I had this little nudge where it was like, I think maybe Jordan left the car unlock. Like, I've got my belongings in there, and if someone stole that, like, it would really fucking suck. I have a passport in there. So the last thing I wanted to do is interrupt the meditation and go. I walked out. Sure enough, the door was open, but it was like, it was kind of. I'm glad the door was open because it confirmed for me. I just got this nudge from the otter source to go do this, and now I got a locked vehicle. And I had this nudge three weeks ago in Miami. And I had backpack in the locker room and there was no lockers left. I just left my backpack out, sunglasses in the side thing. And I went in the steam room and I. I had this nudge sitting there while meditating. I was like, go check your bag. Go check your bag. And in my head I'm like, ah. Like, no. Like, no one's taking my shit. It's all good. Sure enough, I go out in the sunglasses you're taking. So it's just like reminding yourself, like, when you get these, like, nudges or these downloaded downloads from God or source, whatever that may be to someone, like, listen to them, even if you don't want to. Maybe you're lazy. Maybe it doesn't even make sense.

Go.

And just. Because then it confirms. And now next time I get that nudge or sensitivity to something, like, you have to follow that. And the more you do that, I believe the better your life gets, because the more you're in flow state.

And I think to be in tune with the nudges, you have to be sensitive to them, you know? And again, back to what we're doing here. Being in an environment like the Algov, I was saying to you this morning, I think that the veil feels thinner out here. All of my post Jord Spencer retreats integrations me out here. Because I'm like okay, I can still tap in. I'm still able to access it. Whereas Miami felt thick, very thick.

Lots going on which is good. I like it for timely place not for too long. I'm very similar to you where city for usually two weeks in Toronto. And then I'm like okay, I would have yeah up north for a week to just downright.

And on a good reminder just I, I, I, I was discussing at the retreat that dude, the retreat could have just been there could have been non planners and we still could have got medicine. Just being in nature, being, being away from all the noise and being with good people. That alone would honestly nourish me so fucking much. Yes. But coming out of it again the reminder for me is like it's okay to be in these, you know, busy urban environments. But I'm like you, I need to have the space where I unplug to fully come back online.

Yeah.

And like there's so much clarity that comes from doing that that it needs.

To be a priority.

It needs to be something that like no, you this, this must happen. You know, it's a non negotiate.

You can get lost in. You get lost in especially when you're around a lot of other people as well. Maybe you're doing things that step back, you're like I don't even really enjoy doing that. You know. But when you take that space and you, you're actually secluded, you're by yourself, you're in nature. I'm able to I feel like tap into what do I actually want to do every day. What Each part of my day. And if there's things, you know, at this day and age that you're doing that you don't like, like don't do that straight up. I say fuck don't do it.

That's it. And if you know the truth of who you are.

Yeah.

All right. You would, you would never compromise. Yeah. On settling for less than the truth who you are. Because if you know that all you are is unconditional love and you have a small amount of time to play in this, in this realm and then you just return back to unconditional love and salts. Why would you not want to allow the fullest expression of that through this like this vessel that we, we occupy. And you know, I just like why wait.

My question for you, bro.

Would you do I lost brewing head?

Yes, I would, I would. I, I feel called next to do Ibogang. Actually that was actually I would say on my peripherals even more than ayahuasca but again, everything kind of worked out. In terms of most recent ayahuasca retreat, I would definitely do it again. I don't really have like a certain maybe timeline of like, oh, I do it once a year. Does that sound like decent? Yeah, once a year I could probably do it. I also feel incredibly fortunate for the practitioners I work with in, in Canada. You know, Anthony Pang, he gives one of the best experiences I've known to man, you know, and I really enjoy the body work aspect with it, where you're doing acupuncture, you're doing massage. And what I've also learned is like, there isn't like one psychedelic medicine that is better than another psychedelic medicine. Each have their time and their place and certain people's biology, their DNA, their brain waves actually react better to certain compounds. And that's why I feel very cult try every psychedelic because they've been so helpful for me in my life. Um, but yeah, ibogaine, I would say, is next. Iowamska. I definitely, definitely will do it again. Um, I don't feel that cold for a little bit though.

Definitely.

Yeah. How about you?

Yeah, I feel the same way. It felt like a, you know, beautiful ride. Yeah, I felt like I went on this, this beautiful roller coaster ride that took me into all these different places of my world and then I came back to Earth and I was like, oh, that was fun.

What?

I'm Israel, you know, about what I needed from that. I don't need to go and do that again. I quite confidently can say I can access that place through my meditation practice, albeit maybe to not the same intensity, but I still get the same amount of fire just from being out in nature and meditating this long back. So I'm all for it. I just don't, I personally don't think it's necessary to be needing to do it all the time.

I don't think so either. I really don't. I. You know, I also. Another thing that came away from this retreat is I felt very, especially the first night where I was kind of playing in these realms, very joyful, happy and like walking around. Like I was looking around and like some people were going through it and I was like, you know, I feel quite called to like work with DMT and brought in some retreats with, you know, psychedelics. And it's just something that I feel is, you know, would fulfill my, I guess my passion and my soul per se. And I really am excited to embark on that thing as I've done a couple, couple at my cottage. But I left that last couple summers just because they're a lot of work. It takes a lot of energy. But it reminded me that, like, you've had a lot of experiences in this realm and your body reacts really well. So now time to like, take others through.

Definitely. Definitely. The thing that I got was. Well, from the retreat was the. The hopping was a medicine that I wanted to keep going with because I had done my initiation. Yeah. Three, four years ago. I was sitting with it a lot and I stopped taking it or I stopped sitting with it. And now I'm like, you know what? Like this. This serves a purpose for me. And in terms of the grounding, like, it almost felt like it fortified my spirit when I took it. And it didn't allow fear to come in and screaming. It was almost like it was such a thing centering medicine. That it was. It was. It felt very protective, actually. And I emphasize that as well. The shuns and when they spoke about it was like something they go back to, like in Ceremony. They're hidden, the heartbeat all the time because they're almost like it. It's giving them protection. So bought some more heartbeat Saturday. So, uh, I'll be sitting down a lot more.

Yeah. And. And for. You said something yesterday that I think just for the viewers is important and what it does, I guess for you, where it feels like you can get to the state of like an hour meditation right off the hop. Yeah. And I think that's amazing for a variety of reasons, but for me, it reminds me what microdosing and psychedelics can do for me as well. When I, you know, do breath work or meditation, it acts as this bridgeway into a feeling that I love and I want to stay there. And what it does is then when we do it completely sober, without these substances, we have a place that is familiar and we can work towards this. I believe in a shorter time frame after you've experienced this.

Yeah, a hundred percent.

I agree.

It's speeding up the connection point, which is where again, I love to that the hot bank. But, mate, I feel like we've covered a fair bit of the ground here. Is there anything else?

What.

Actually, maybe. What would you share to anyone who's thinking about doing ayahuasca for the first time or, you know, they're curious. Like what. Any suggestions in terms of a preparation and. And things like that? Or.

I would. I would start with ayahuasca.

Yeah.

If I'm honest, I would probably start. I always tell people I would start with microdosing. I find like going on like nice microdosing, rolling regime with intention is a really great place to start. I would do a psilocybin journey first. Um, doing a DMT journey prior would allow you to feel familiar in ayahuasca and kind of know what you're getting yourself into. So personally I would tell people those are kind of the steps. But at the same time, ayahuasca isn't this like crazy, crazy thing, which in my head was like, I expect it. So I think there's some steps to make it an easier journey.

So I would go down that route first.

And yeah, in terms of preparation, trying to think like we kind of went back and forth about like how necessary, I guess the preparation is. I think the most important part of preparation is like, why are you doing this? I get very clear on your intentions. You know, cut out the cut out alcohol, cut out other drugs, you know, the necessary things. Do I believe that specific diet is a hundred percent necessary for a monk? Probably not. But again, I'm also not an ayahuasca Shaoan, but those are kind of my feelings with it.

Well, nice.

Yeah. What do you feel?

Yeah, I think the confirmation from the journeys for me was that the work that I. The life that I already live or is always already conducive to a beautiful experience. So there was a whole lot of changes I need to make to my life in general. Whereas some people who maybe are as committed to this path as we are, the actual preparation work is almost more profound than the ceremony because they're like letting go of these addictions. They're completely changing their adults. Maybe they're doing yoga and meditation for the first time. Well, no shit. That's going to change your life.

Yeah.

You know, so very, very important. Yeah. Yes, yes, yes. And for me it was we, we. I didn't change a whole lot. I was already eating pretty clean, I'm not eating sugar, we weren't drinking alcohol. So all these things are already dialed. Yeah. So I just think for me it was confirmations like, throw back on, keep staying committed to your path. And I would say do all of those things first. Before going to an ayahuasca journey expecting to have the profound experience that radically alters your life.

Yes, you definitely. That's so, so important. And even like there's, there's been journeys where I'm like really expecting like, you know, I want to get this out of this. It's just like always reminds me, it's like what you do every single day in Your sober life is, is more important. And it's like treat each day like ceremony rather than just having like this one thing in the distance because we both know how quick that goes. You know, I thought I was. Felt like a long time preparing and then, you know, here we are afterwards and it's just important to do the little things each day. Bingo.

You take a moment of pause and just like, just absorb all of the love that's already here. So we are so. That, that is so copy important. And I would say do camera. Yeah, I'll stay stars. Yes. Give that medicine. And that is. I know that's something.

And it is so wild that like I'm ready to do it again like a couple more times. We were told by a couple, you.

Know, shamans that you're supposed to do.

It three times and a moon cycle. So I'm going to go back to Toronto. I think I'm going to, you know, fire me off again a couple of times and see what happens. I do feel like that was very clearing.

Yeah.

Getting just tonks and shit out from, you know, years of younger partying and whatnot. That's it. That shit out of you.

So yeah, mate, I think that's a really good place to surround us out. Been so, so good. Having quality of time with you out here and sharing these, these first time experiences together is what life's all about for me. So many more to come. Where can people find out more about you online?

Yeah, just Instagram, Liam Donovan and. And then just a couple companies, Neurodose and Peak Human as well. And then I'm going to be jumping back on LinkedIn. I paused that for a little bit. Just needed to focus on some things but they'll be up this coming week.

Good move. Let's go. All right, boys, Boys and girls, thanks for tuning in with all that. Thanks.

Later.

Nice.

We're on.

We're on. Good 45 minutes. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, yeah, perfect Spish.

That's good, mate.

How's really good.