Energy Clearing and Nervous System Regulation

Okay, okay, I'm pretty sure this is episode 5 because I remember putting a graphic of 4. All right, this is episode 5, which is my favorite number.

That's a good number.

It's a good number. It's my life path number. Not astrology, that is not it, that's numerology. But hey, I like fives. But today we are talking about our energetic fields and nervous systems, and I'm gonna put hearts in there too because that's my language for it. We can jumble it all together and dissect it.

Yeah. Yeah.

Um, well, I'm pretty sure everybody knows what their nervous system is biologically, right? Which we are talking about that, but instead of like, I feel like we're, the language we're using it for is how it manifests in your behaviors and thinking and Patterns of behavior, ways of being, things like this. What would you agree with that, Sarah? Yeah, set the tone, set the page. This is the language. Yeah, kind of where we're going with it.

Yes. Um, for me, as somebody who has a physical disability and like works a lot with like physical healing, um, there is— and who works a lot with like energy cleansing and like the energy body as well— for me, like, there is that, um, that like distinct difference but connection between our physical nervous system and what is going on in our energy field and how they all connect in order to, um, either bring balance or show us where we're out of balance and show us where we need to, um, work on our regulation a little bit. Because as much as, like, like, if we're talking about energetic hygiene, we do a lot of things like, um, cleansing, bringing in, like, cleansing the aura, cleansing the energy, uh, centers cleansing your field and working with like golden light and like doing golden bubbles of light and things like that. And you can do that all day long. I absolutely wouldn't knock you for that. But if you are only paying attention to your outer field and not looking at what's going on in your nervous system, you're missing half the story, in my opinion. Because your nervous system and your energy field, outer energy field, mirror each other. So if one of them is feeling dysregulated, you may not— or if your nervous system is feeling dysregulated, you may not be able to be as energetically protected and grounded as you need to be. So when our nervous systems are off and dysregulated, our energy fields can actually become more porous and more like a sponge, drawing in the energy and the fields of the people around us. So we become way more susceptible to co-regulating our nervous systems to people who may be dysregulated, which isn't healthy for us. So when we look at cleansing and balancing our energy field, adding that extra step of nervous system balancing and regulation is so important because when your nervous system is regulated, your field, your outer field, becomes a lot stronger, a lot less porous, and you can walk into a room and feel and notice the energy of the room without it globbing onto you and becoming your energy or feeling as if it's becoming your energy. Like, an example of this would be if you're feeling regulated and you walk into a room where people have just been fighting and arguing with each other, you can feel that and know that there's an energy here. This has nothing to do with me. Something happened in this room before I walked in and Maybe there's something that I can say or do to bring peace to this energy, like ask about what's happened, ask if anybody in the room needs support, ask if it's even a good time for me to be there. And if we're not regulated, you might walk into that room, feel that same energy, and all of a sudden feel like the people in that room don't like you, or maybe they've been judging you, maybe they've been speaking about you. You might internalize that as you are picking up this negative energy, but you almost feel responsible for it. You feel like it has something to do with you because you're dysregulated and you're picking up the energy of other people in the room. And because your field isn't regulated and your field is very porous, you can start to feel the weight and the heaviness of that argument and feel like it has something to do with you. When it really doesn't. And it can create issues of like self-consciousness, fear, doubt, guilt, shame, even like, oh my God, maybe I'm in the wrong place. Maybe I'm not invited here. Do these people even like me? When really that energy has nothing to do with you. And I don't know if that's ever happened to you, Joy, or other people listening, where all of a sudden you walk into a room and you feel immediately self-conscious or immediately like just uncomfortable. And that could be a sign that your system could use a little bit of a boost. You might need to be a little bit more regulated so that you can feel the energy of the room without your system claiming it as your own or assuming that that has something to do with you. When we're dysregulated, it's very common for us to suddenly feel like it's a you problem when really it has nothing to do with you. And you can misinterpret the energy of the room as having something to do with you, as opposed to there just being something off happening before you even entered. So this is why nervous system regulation is so important, because when we are regulated, our field can connect to the energies that we are walking into. Without absorbing them and without making them mine, so to speak.

That makes sense? No, that makes perfect sense. I've totally had that experience of walking in and you just feel the shift. Um, and yeah, if you're not— I don't know if you're not careful or if you're not aware of what you're capable of You stay in that room long enough, it's like osmosis, right? It's gonna, it's gonna filter into you a little bit, even though you know it was not yours, that you walked into it. You might notice you're a little snappy now or a little more on edge. There's gonna be a shift in, in you internally and how you're approaching things. So to me, that's what you were speaking of. And like, What kind of, um, that energy hygiene is about is you can still walk in that room, but there's no osmosis going on.

Yeah.

You keep what was already yours and you don't take what was there before you. Or it happens in the moment. You, you're in a group of friends and then people start arguing right there and you didn't walk in the room. It just happens. Same thing, right? Doesn't— same kind of energy transfer things. Yeah, that makes perfect sense.

Yeah, that feeling of like entering a space like that and then, like you said, leaving, and all of a sudden now you're snappy, you're angry, but that's not— that's not yours, and it was never yours in the first place. You just picked up the energy of the room because you, in a dysregulated state, whether it's a highly dysregulated state or even a little bit, that absorption of energy just tends to happen when your field around you isn't grounded, strong, and regulated. So that absorbing all of the thoughts, the vibes, the energies, the emotions of the room, walking out of it and then being like, why am I so mad all of a sudden? That's where this regulation comes in, because you can walk into a room like that when you're regulated and when your energy system is like flowing with your nervous system and you can walk in happy, notice those like off-putting feelings, emotions, vibes in the room and leave without it attaching to you and, you know, just going and being like, that's not mine, that has nothing to do with me. There's no self-consciousness there, there's no anger, there's no like bringing that feeling of rage or discomfort with you when you leave the room. You're still in your grounded, safe, centered, regulated state, whether you stay in that room for 20 minutes, an hour, and then leave, or you're there for 30 seconds, right? The more regulated you are, the longer you can stay in spaces like that without it affecting you.

Yeah. Yeah, well, it's, um, how would you say people should do that? There's some methods. There's no like, this is the only way. Yeah, for me, we're gonna get some suggestions.

Yeah, I mean, um, at first when I started noticing, um, that this was happening to me I kind of felt and like was seeing it as like, um, and a lot of people can relate to this I'm sure, like you feel like it's a weakness, like you're too sensitive, right? But really you have to look at that as like a superpower. Your body and your field is trying to tell you something. If you're picking things up like that in a room and you're leaving and now all of a sudden you're raging at your partner or your friend or the clerk at the grocery store when you were in a great mood before you walked into that room with the vibe. Um, we need to look at, um, different ways to keep ourselves— or if we want to be in that state where we can like leave the room and still be in our own energy without picking that up, we need to get ourselves to a place where A, we notice when we're picking things up and we start to look at it not as a weakness of, oh, I'm too sensitive, but this is a strength. If I'm noticing myself happy one minute and then walking into a room with a shitty vibe and then coming out of it feeling shitty myself and then snapping at everybody that I meet, That's not a weakness. That's a sign that I need some grounding. I need a little bit of regulation. And what I can do to bring myself into regulation is connecting in with my autonomic nervous system, which is the system that is responsible or connected to fight or flight or fight, flight, and freeze. And what I do to get myself out of fight, flight, or freeze, whether it was something that came from my system or a room that I walked into with a shitty vibe is I will put myself somewhere quiet for a few minutes, and whether that's going to the bathroom or stepping outside or just going into a room where there's nobody sitting, and I'll take a couple of really nice, slow, deep breaths into the pit of my belly and just create expansion in my body, let myself feel connected to the space that I'm in and feel connected to my feet, my body, the foundation of my body, which is my hips and like my lower energy centers. And I'll just breathe into the lower part of my body and draw the breath down towards the ground into my feet and just connect in with the ground. And bringing the breath as deep into my body and getting centered in my body helps me to feel where I'm holding charge in my body. And once I notice where that charge is, I just sit with it for a moment. I don't try to change it. I don't judge it. I just sit with it. I acknowledge it. I let my body know that I know that it's there and I'm here to support it in whatever way that I need to. Usually all that requires is just noticing it and sitting with it until it dissipates. And once that dissipates, I take another couple of deep breaths to like cleanse and move the energy. And then I'll go back into the room and see, like, if I'm still picking up that same vibe, if it's connecting to me the same. If the energy of that room or that space is still too much for me, I'll just leave, because I know that that's not a healthy place for me to be in. I'll politely remove myself, you know, let people know, hey, I've got something that's just come up, I've gotta, I've gotta go, let's reschedule, or whatever. But I do my absolute best to— once I'm feeling the energy of other people, which is like, hey, all of a sudden I'm feeling ragey or angry or snappy when I was in a great mood before. Like, what is this? I ground, I cleanse, I use my breath to connect in with my body, find where the charge of whatever I just picked up is living in my body, and I sit with it until it goes away. Usually only takes 5 minutes or less. So yeah, it's a really simple way to just like regulate yourself in a pinch.

Yeah, yeah. I have an example too that's a little different.

Yeah, there's all kinds of ways to do this. Um, so yeah, please share yours.

I did the same thing, but I was, um, I was out in nature and, um, we had a bit of a time constraint in a way. We had to get back to the, the parking lot had a meter, right? So we didn't want to get a ticket, so we had to be back within a few hours. This was hours. And, um, I love daisies. And I saw these little daisies on the side of the path, and I stopped, and I was just talking to the daisy, admiring the daisy in my little whimsy, beautiful, nature-loving state. And the person I was with was like, like, oh, don't stop for every daisy or we'll never get there. Zapped my whimsy. I got really pissed. Not like really, really pissed, but I was just like, well, I've— that I don't feel whimsy. Like, that just left my body. And I was mad, and I was hurt, and I was upset.

And nobody likes a whimsy killer.

And, um, so we went in this bird hide. And we're sitting there and I'm like, I don't want to look at these birds, I'm mad. And then I'm like, okay, old me would hold on to this all day long, get all resentful and feel very justified and kind of revel in it almost in a way. I'm like, I don't really want to do that. I don't really like this energy. I don't— I liked being in my whimsy state. I like daisies. And you know what? That is a-okay. It is okay that I like daisies and then I want to look at them. And, um, and I just— like you said, I— it probably took me a little longer, maybe 10 minutes, I would say max 30, because I had, you know, I was, you know, they squashed my whimsy.

Yeah, um, it takes a minute to reconnect back to that and to make all of those micro-realizations of, okay, I don't want to feel this way.

Yeah. And like, what am I gonna do?

One by one. Like, it sometimes takes a little bit longer than—

what am I— what do I want to say?

Do—

how do I want to say it? Do I want to wait till I'm a little calmer, or do I not?

Do I want to react, or do I want to respond?

And I did all those things, and eventually I was like, well, I want to look at daisies, and I'm gonna look at the daisies. I want to get a picture of a And, um, they apologized. They knew what they did. They knew why they did it. Right. Um, hearing that did help, but I still had to make that shift in my energy and let it go. Let that anger go and be like, okay, that wasn't, you know, like I, I have the right to feel that way. I wasn't doing anything wrong, these types of things. But I also don't have to hold on to this. It was, you know, I understand what was going on. So that would be my example because it wasn't like walking into anything, right? But, um, it does take a little bit. But that to me was a nervous system energy regulation thing because I could hold on to it. It would have, um, I didn't want to be around them in that moment. Right. I was mad. I was hurt.

Yeah. Yeah.

But I'm going to switch gears for a bit because we did talk about this before. And we're going to use me as a case study on what I've been moving through lately is I've noticed my nervous system has been in this more hyper-aware, sensitive. I'm always, I'm I'm a hypersensitive person in general, right? But, um, my body, my energy, all of that. But, um, it wasn't aligned with what I was feeling in my heart space, which is open and calm and peaceful. But my nervous system was latching on to things that were not peaceful, and it, it was skewed. The perspective was skewed. It wasn't even telling me the truth, my mind. Now I'm talking about my mind, and I knew that. I was just thinking, there's a disconnect here. There's a disconnect going on with what's going on in my body and what my heart is knowing to be true. Now, I shared with you Some of the ex— the exercise I did today of just journaling and thinking of things that have touched my heart and reliving those memories and writing down how I felt, and that literally shifts my energy. But I wouldn't say that's a one-and-done, thank you ma'am kind of thing. It's certainly a process. I guess. And then, so feel free to ask me questions, Sarah, whatever you need. But I guess my question is like, how does that happen? And like, what else could I do besides the journaling to like really solidify that coherence between my nervous system and, and what my heart's picking up? If this makes sense.

I feel like Yeah, so I think I'm— I think I'm picking up what you're throwing down here. So, um, there's this very distinct, like, loving feeling in your heart. It's like, from what I'm picking up in your words, it's almost like your heart is mirroring your soul, your aura, your, um, your, like, energetic system, so to speak. Like, this is like almost like your higher self is speaking through your heart, but your nervous system is connected to a reality. Um, it's connected to experiences, whereas your heart is connected to, um, just a general, like, feeling and knowing that you desire to connect to. And when your nervous system is going based off of memory and familiarity, it can be really hard to get your nervous system to drop into the expansion that is available when we drop into our hearts, because your nervous system is generally programmed from the past, and it feels like your heart is connected to a future, a desire, a bigger, broader spectrum of what's available.

So the now What's that? I would also say the now, like the present.

Like you're, you're able to connect deeply with what is happening right here, right now. Whereas your nervous system keeps trying to bring you back to familiar situations to be like, yeah, but don't forget about that. This could happen. This could be scary. This has happened in the past. Don't forget about that. And what we want to do to sort of bring that into coherence, like you said, is to connect in with the parts of our nervous system that are activated. And for me, in hearing you speak with like, it sounds to me like it's connecting in to inner child parts and like old wounds that want you to be safe. And these wounds and these inner child parts want you to remember, not as a way to hold you back, but as a way to keep you safe. Because if you were to forget these things, you may end up in the same situation that you were before that hurt your heart and that created that lack of safety in the present moment. And so I'm just trying to think of what I would do in this situation when you're feeling that disconnect. Like, we could work through this right now. Do you have a disconnect in your mind where you're Do you have something that we could work through right now that's like alive? Is there something that's bringing you out of the present moment? Like, is there something in your nervous system is trying really hard to get you to focus on right now that you're like, what is this? Why can't I let it go and just be in the present moment?

Well, I did do that journaling exercise earlier today, and I've been just kind settling into that. So before that, I would have had a lot more. I'm trying to think of like something I'd be willing to share or something right now.

Hmm.

It's actually been fairly quiet today, to be honest. But I'm thinking, um, can we drop into the energy of before you journaled?

And that way we can give an example to our listeners?

Yeah, well, it certainly was— is about protection. I know that because I know my own past, right?

Walk through, um, walk us through what happened before you journaled that made you go, okay, there's something that I need to work through here. Like, what, what brought you to that journaling experience?

Um, Okay, well, I've been doing a lot. I'm reading the book The Untethered Soul by Michael, I think, Singer, and I'm halfway through it. And, um, he talks about the inner roommate, which is like this voice in your head that will typically is fairly negative. And tries to tell you what to do, or it just— it's just talking constantly. For a lot of people in the past, when I had generalized anxiety disorder, my roommate was Little Miss Chatty Box. I mean, she was nonstop talking. That's not necessarily my reality now, but she does pop in and she talks and she tells me stuff, and it's for protection. It's— I'm viewing it in this scenario essentially the voice of my nervous system in a way. Um, and okay, I will use this example. I think it's a good one. Um, so I'm, I'm with the man I'm dating. I guess we'll use that language. Um, and, um, the other day we were getting on a train, but the, the sign for the train and the actual train were a little different. And so he ran ahead to figure out if that was the actual train we needed to get on because the sign was wrong, but it was the only train at the station. That triggered a past for me of men running ahead or being ahead of me, and me not liking that, not feeling safe. I was completely safe on that train platform. He was doing us a service by running ahead and making sure we didn't miss our train. Was, was I oblivious to that? I wouldn't say oblivious. That was not how it was not how my nervous system was interpreting that, right? Then we get on the train and, um, he sits across from me and it's like, here, you can have the window seat and I'll sit across from you because I don't like going backwards. Another nervous system type of thing or a sensitivity thing. Yeah, but I wanted him next to me and so I was like, well, you know, he's not sitting next me, and that feels like I'm being rejected. And I was— as soon as I had that, roommate was like, oh, you're being rejected, or I'm being— and I was like, time out. And I was just like, hey, are we all right? He was like, yeah.

Like, he was like, what? Why are you asking? Why wouldn't I be?

And so I just told him and he was like, okay, okay. And I was like, and I, I'm pretty sure my roommate is wrong and that's not what's happening here, but it's what's telling me what's happening. And I just figured I'd do the shortcut and just nip it in the bud versus spending the rest of this train ride doing this inner, you know, kind of fight with it. I'm just like, let's just clear this up. No, you didn't mean it that way. Oh, okay. You wanted to be nice and give me the freaking window seat. Oh, that's really sweet of you, actually. Okay. Um, thank you for the clarity.

Right?

But I think that's a good example of the perceive— I was perceiving it as negative when nothing negative was actually happening. It was actually the opposite.

Right. It brings me to a really, really good point. Um, a lot of people don't even get to that point of discerning whether or not there was actually a problem or if it was just your parts, your internal dialogue, making something out of nothing based on your past experiences. And a lot of people get tripped up in this because they don't realize that that's what's happening. You realized it. And for our listeners, a really, really good exercise to get into that first step of realizing it is checking in with your body and noticing when, say, the moment that he ran forward, you feel that charge, you feel that, oh God, like, am I safe? The moment that you notice that happening is when the discernment starts. Okay, so if you're starting to feel you've gone from comfortable to suddenly uncomfortable, that's where we check in with our body right away. You take a moment to go internal. You can even close your eyes for a second. And just feel what part of my body is reacting to this right now. Is my throat closing up? Is my heart starting to race a little bit more? Do I have butterflies in my stomach? Am I starting to sweat? How is my body responding to this perceived charge or to this perceived threat? And sit with that charge in your body, whether it's a tightness in your throat, just sit and pay attention to it. Don't try to change it. Don't try to force it to stop, but just notice it. You can even say internally, I see you, I feel you, I'm here for you. The moment you bring attention to that is usually when, and you acknowledge it, is usually when it starts to dissipate because that feeling is brought on through our cellular memory from a past situation that maybe we were in danger. Maybe our mom did walk away from us for a really long time, and maybe we got lost in that situation. Or maybe our dad walked away from us and maybe we got lost, or we felt like we got lost because dad walked away for a minute. There was at one point a threat there that your body is responding to, but you want to be in the present moment. So notice just that small act of noticing when a charge happens, when the mood switches, when you suddenly go from comfortable to uncomfortable. See how your body's responding to that discomfort and sit with it for a minute. Let yourself know that you see it, you feel it, you acknowledge it, and you're not going anywhere. You're here to try to create that safety. That's the first step with discernment, is noticing how your body is reacting to the situation. From there, you can take a, take a couple of deep breaths into the space that's feeling tight or uncomfortable. Just be with it and help it to move through your nervous system. Let yourself know that that feeling came up from a past situation. We're in the present. Things are different now. You are here and you are safe. From that point, if you're still feeling anxious, uncomfortable, or unsure, And this is another thing that can be very hard for people, especially those who are difficult or find it difficult in situations of what might be perceived as confrontation, which is getting curious with your partner. Hey, what did you mean by that? Like that you running away, I understand that you did that for us. And for me, so we both didn't have to go. And I really appreciate that, but I'm feeling this charge in my body and I would like to create some safety here. You can ask your partner or the person that you're with for a hug. You can ask for some reassurance, but do whatever feels right for you in that moment. If you need clarity, hey, I just want to make sure that you ran ahead Like, I'm just confirming that that was for both of us, not a way for you to try to leave. I've been in situations in the past where, you know, I got lost and my nervous system is responding to that. Can you just stand with me for a minute until I feel a little bit more calm? And just ask for the things that you know you need. And even if you don't know 100% what you need, ask or just be being vocal with what you're feeling to the people around you so that they can help you co-regulate is really, really important. And so that they can bring you the clarity about what's actually happening. So you have that discernment, but some people might not. So that's a really good way to like when you feel that, like, I'm uncomfortable and I'm not sure why, just check in with your body and sit with the charge. And usually we can go even deeper. Like, um, what I would do once I got home from that trip is spend a little bit of time with my inner child. Go back to that point of remem— of memory. Go back to you when you were 5 years old and your mom walked away from you and you were terrified that she wasn't coming back, but she came back in 30 seconds. Go back and sit with that little version of you and ask her what she needed in that moment and recreate that moment between you and her and provide her exactly what she needed. Instead of having mom walk away in this imaginative experience, take the hand of your inner child and walk with her behind mom and recreate that experience and that safety for her so that when you're in an experience like this the next time, that charged inner child part that's scared, that, and is holding onto that memory within your cellular structure for your safety doesn't activate again. So recreating that moment in a safer environment and providing that version of you what it needed in the moment that it didn't receive will help to calm that version of you down, that charged inner child version. Will be calm or become calm so that if you're in a situation like that again in the future, you won't get as big of a charge. And if you do get a little bit of a charge, sit with the inner child part again. When you have a moment, say, hey, do you want to do that experience again? Do you want me to hold your hand behind? Do you want me to make sure that you don't feel left behind? And keep doing it. Until you get the response from her in that imaginative experience that, yeah, no, I feel safe now. I know Mom's coming back. I know that I'm safe no matter what. And once you do this enough times, you will get that response. Sometimes it changes in one sitting, sometimes it takes 3 or 4. But just notice in your present moment, everyday experience when those charges happen, And if it doesn't make sense in the moment, because like you said, you knew in that moment he was going to do you guys both a favor. There was nothing bad about that. You knew in your logical mind, but your body was responding as if it was a threat. And just to be able to tap into our body when our body is perceiving a threat rather than judging our body or shaming our body. Your body or being like, this isn't a problem, go away. Like, that's not gonna heal it. Like, ignoring it isn't going to heal it. Spending the time with the charge is. So if you're like Joy and you're in those moments of logical thinking, I know I'm safe, there's nothing wrong, but my body is responding to it, take the time to sit with the charge. Once you've connected in with that charge to do the inner child work, you connect in with that charge, that physical sensation in your body, and you can ask it questions. How old were you when this charge first came online? What happened to make this charge first come online? What corrective experience do you need now to help release this charge and create safety? And ask yourself those questions and just sit and intuitively listen to what comes up. You might be able to envision your inner child speaking to you the issue, or you might just have a deep inner knowing, or you might have visual, like, memories pop up of, oh, when I was in the classroom and— or when I was on that field trip and I got lost from the class and I thought I was going to miss bus back to school. Oh, it's from that. Did we miss the bus back to school? No.

No.

Okay. And like, just relive that experience in a more positive way in your imagination and remind yourself in that little inner child moment that you, you are safe. You did make it through. And that was a scary experience and you have every right to be scared, but we're safe now and you don't need to be scared anymore. I've got you and I'm here for you and we're going to make sure that never happens again. And that gentle speak to that charged part of you will help that to dissipate. But to ignore it and be like, I don't know what this is. I know 100% logically, like, I'm fine, he's fine, there's no problem. But that charge is still there. That's not going to help. And that's going to create more issues in your nervous system. Down the road. So take the time to notice when your logical mind and your body aren't connecting and bring peace to your body. And that way, over time, they will start to connect more and more deeply as, you know, those situations happen, and you won't feel that charge as much anymore in that specific situation.

I love that, Sarah. I picked up minor child for that moment. Um, I used to hide in the clothing racks at the department store like every other child, and I popped out once and my mom was gone, and I freaked out, right?

Yeah.

And I had to go to the front of the store, and they had to be like, Mary, come get your daughter. Mary, come get your daughter.

We have your baby.

Please come get your My brother was with me too, but I mean, it was like, come get your children, please come receive your child. We usually were— my brother and I were usually pretty good at not losing my mom, but then we were pretty little then. This must be what sparked the always keep an eye on mom type of thing. Yeah, but No, um, which is not a memory I think about often, right? Because I was like, what, 4 or 5 max? Um, so then, um, yeah, when you were throwing off those questions, I was seeing that visually because I'm a very visual person. And when you ask like, what do they want, I just saw somebody holding their hand in that department store. Wasn't— didn't necessarily need to be my mom. It could be adult me, right? Um, I also got a lot of flashes of past partners that, you know, drove off or biked ahead of me really far where I couldn't see them and, and things like this that also triggered it. So it's like this whole memory line of instances. And you— I love that you said, like, if you would try to ignore it, it literally— to me, the word is eats. It eats at me.

It just gets—

yeah, I don't like that feeling. That's what sparks me to even investigate and be like, why are you there? What is going on? I will say another thing for me, because I'm, uh, I've I'm moving— also working on and moving out of being hyper-independent. And in that specific moment, um, when he sat across from me and I already had triggered from the running ahead, right? And then he sits across when I— for whatever reason, I wanted him next to me versus across from me. And, um, I could just feel it all welling. Even, but my logic me was like, we're really okay. Like, we're really okay. Um, hyperindependent me would've just kind of done all of that in silence, which is perfectly valid. But for me, it was an act of bravery to just be like, can I get clarity from you? And it doesn't have to— didn't come out perfect. It was just like, are we okay? He could tell I was not okay. But I'm, I was like, I need clarity because I'm, this is a lot for me to untangle in this intense, you know, moment. And I wanted to untangle it, but I don't really want to cry. I don't really, you know, I'm on a freaking train. Yes, I could. Yes, I get it. It's all valid and beautiful. Yes, yes, yes. That's not what I wanted in that moment, right? I just wanted to let it out. And to hear him be like, no, this is what was happening, this is why I did that, it just settled it. And I was able to just like let it go. And I did not do the inner child thing on the train. I will be straight up, I'm gonna do that. Did it now with you. So we did kind of do it that way. We realized it was 5-year-old me who stay too long inside the clothes rack at the department store. But, um, which I don't think they make clothes racks like that, or maybe they do, but like, I don't— I've never once seen a child in there.

That's an '80s thing, right? It wasn't—

I mean, I was an '80s— I mean, we were born in the same year, so yeah. I guess now they all have iPads.

You don't need it.

Online shop in the middle of a clothes rack and pretend it's whatever you pretend it is.

I don't know, like, I want to see kids in strollers on iPads. Like, nobody's playing in clothes racks no more.

I'm showing my age, but that's okay.

It's okay. But to that effect too, what you were saying about when your body, um, what we were saying about when your body doesn't feel safe, right? And if you keep ignoring it, and like, even if your logical mind is like, no, like, I'm safe, like, whatever, it's fine, but your heart is like, like, something's going on here, they're going to leave me, like, I'm going to be left behind, like, this isn't safe, I'm not, I'm not in a good situation. If you continue to ignore that and you just keep going with your logical mind, your energetic boundaries will start to become really, really, really porous. And you might think like, oh no, I'm fine, everything is good. But when you leave those charges unattended, it's almost like a small child that is like reaching to anybody and everyone and like acting out for attention. But it starts to become It's almost like it sends a signal, like that charge within your body sends a signal out throughout your energy field, and you become really open and susceptible to, um, other people's energies, to negative energies, to energies that are a match for this negative charge that's going on in your body. So you may be wondering, why is it that all of these things that, um, like match this feeling of unsafety keep happening to me? Like, all of a sudden you might notice, like, oh, like, I have a flat tire on my car, and like, I can't get to work on time, and like, all of these little negative things will start to happen But it's because the energy around you is matching that lack of safety in your nervous system and is looking for other things that match that unsafety. How can we visually show this isn't safe to this person until they absolutely finally get that there's something going on that they need to change in their system or they need to recalibrate and regulate within their system. Because if you leave that alone and your energy field does become porous, you become a magnet for these situations that match that charge, not that match what you want and what you desire, but what match the charge of your nervous system. So when we don't regulate our nervous systems, it comes out in our energy field. Field, and then our energy field magnetizes to the things that match that feeling, not our desires. And that's why you can say, well, I'm calling in wealth, I'm calling in a better job, I'm calling in better relationships, but I'm not getting them. It's because your nervous system is becoming magnetic to everything that is connected to this charge so that you can see it and deal with it. It's a really strange way that the energies and the universe and everything works to get us to see what we need to see so that we can become a match for the things that we're trying to call in and the things that we desire. But if we don't tend to that charge, that's going to become the thing that magnetizes everything else to us. Not our desires, not our strengths, not our creativity, not our beauty, not the things we're trying to expand into, but the things that never got healed. That becomes the magnet because our nervous system is the magnet for all of that other stuff. So the more regulated you are, the more you can receive a better job, more money, better relationships, better situations in general in your life. If your nervous system is geared to keeping you safe, it's not going to be connecting to the things that create expansion in your life. All of those good, beautiful things that you're trying to call in, your nervous system is the number one source for all of that stuff to come in. So if you're noticing your manifestations aren't coming true, the things that you're trying to come in are not coming in and it's actually the opposite of that, start to notice the charges in your body. Get curious with them. Like I said before, start to ask, like, hey, this feeling of, like, you know, like a little bit of, like, palpitation in my chest over my heart, like, I'm gonna sit with that for a minute. I'm gonna get curious and ask where that came from. It might surprise you where that came from, but Rather than judging it, just let it be okay and sit with it. Give it what it needs. Ask what it wanted. Provide that in whatever way feels right for you. And the more you do that, the more you'll start to notice the things that get drawn to you are a better match for your desires and not those past wounds and those past fears. So yeah, it's all part of like energetic hygiene too. Like when you're looking, cleansing your system, always look at your nervous system first because that's the internal dialogue of your energy field, so to speak.

So, well, I think for our meeting house in April, I'm doing a, an energy cleanse or just an energy check-in type of meditation.

Get the ideas here. Yeah, I'm getting some ideas for that too.

No, I think it will be really amazing actually. And now I'm like, when do we have it scheduled? We have it scheduled for April 18th.

Okay.

Yeah, so, um, we'll put that out there. But, um, any closing remarks? There that you want to leave with people?

Um, yeah, when your body feels safe, your energy becomes magnetic, grounded, and sovereign. So creating that safety within your nervous system is, in my opinion, one of the biggest foundational building blocks of spiritual wellness. Because the more balanced and regulated your nervous system is, the more— how do I word this? It's— I have like a visual in my head about like what this is like. How do I put this into words? The more regulated you are, The more you can clearly see the truth of your situations, you can discern truth a lot easier. You can discern, um, what's a good situation for you and what's not. You can, um, discern reality from, um, BS, so to speak. And like, you become a magnet for truth, whether that be your truth or the truth of the planet. But it's really, really, really hard to see the truth when your nervous system is stuck in the past and keeps bringing you back to the truth of the past situations that kept you unsafe and out of safety. So working— when you're looking at energetic hygiene, when you're looking at spiritual growth. A lot of people will automatically go to the energy centers. They'll go to astral projection, third eye, like, what is my third eye? See, I gotta open my third eye, I gotta open my crown, I gotta connect to higher sources. No, the best, best, best way to do that and to get those opening really, really well and functioning in a way where there's no distortion is to start in your root Start in your body. Really, really get into those feelings, those charges in your body. Sit with all of them. Maybe not all at once, but one at a time. And the more you can do that, the more those upper channels, those upper sources will start to open up on their own, and you'll be able to connect a lot more easily and clearly without there being any distortion. Because a lot of the, um, like spiritual psychosis, a lot of like really damaging, um, sort of like mentalities of like people in positions of power that end up like kind of becoming cult leaders, a lot of it stems from them trying to access bigger spiritual energies without dealing with the charges first. And these charges end up coming out in the way that they lead, in the way that they practice, and they're actually leading from a place of fear and trying to control what's going on in them but projecting it outwards instead of actually healthy leadership. So that's where, you know, they might have had the best intentions for the people that they wanted to help, but because they didn't deal with their own internal charges, now they're just projecting all over everybody and it becomes a very toxic environment. So to avoid that within yourself and to become a healthy, strong leader and a healthy, sovereign being, work with those charges so that they don't get projected unintentionally onto the people around you that you're interacting with, trying to help. Trying to be with, trying to be in partnership with. You're grounded in yourself and you can see the truth of the situations. You can discern more clearly and you can connect with clarity.

Mic drop.

Bam!

Yeah.

How about you, Joy? You got anything else to say? Ditto.

No.

Uh, What she said.

I think you nailed it. It is nighttime for me, so I'm like, no, you're good. The coffee flowing for you.

I just woke up, so I'm like on it.

I guess I would just say one thing I have to remind myself, or don't, maybe not remind, but, um, it's a process. Um, and just love yourself through it. And I can get in, like, I personally will get annoyed at myself for even having these reactions because I'm like, shouldn't I be over this? Up. I know. No, I'm a freaking human and I'm not, right? And, um, meeting that with love versus annoyance or disdain or whatever— big difference. Big difference. Last thing, I mean, who am I really talking to? I'm talking to the little girl who was playing in the freaking clothes rack, who peeped her head out and her mom was doing. That's who I'm annoyed at. Oh my goodness, right? Let that empathy kick in for yourself.

That little girl did not need to be ignored or judged or scolded. She needed to have her mom come and hold her hand and be loved and cherished and told that she's not going to be left behind. And to give yourself that is So yeah, important. And even if you—

yeah, there's just— you just covered in love, covered in— that's my two cents. I'm gonna, I'm gonna leave it there.

But I love that. That's, that's really fucking important to you, Joy. Um, just like doing it with love and not putting the pressure on yourself that it has to be fixed overnight, like Like I said, you can do this 3, 4, 5, 6 times, and then you could be great for like 3 years, and then all of a sudden it comes back again. Do it again without judgment and not being like, oh, this again. No. Oh, this again. It must really need me. That little girl in me must really need me, and I love her, and I'm going to do what I can to be the person she needed in that moment instead of shaming her, judging and knowing that just because it came up again doesn't make you any less spiritual or any less gifted or strong. It doesn't mean you're too sensitive. It doesn't mean you did it wrong. It just means that she just needs your attention again. And to let that be okay is so important, and to give yourself the time to work through it without shame or judgment. Is also really important. It takes time. This, this does not happen overnight. And I know I say all the big, great, awesome mic drop moment things, but I still, I still deal with my inner child every day. Like, she's there with a new situation every day, and we work with it without shame. And the more you can give yourself space and time to do that, the more you will start to notice, like, just how healed, how strong, how resilient you actually are. So keep going, don't give up.

Thank you everyone for watching.

We will catch you next time. Don't forget to join our little nervous system balancing ritual as well, coming up at the end.

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