Fu@k Your Comfort Zone. Why you should leave it and How to move forward.

Hi, my name is Joy D. Fanning, Astronaut of Life, and today I want to talk about comfort zones. I've spent many years of my life staying in a comfort zone. First, I want to tell you, what is a comfort zone? All right, comfort zone, according to the Oxford Dictionary, is a situation where one feels safe or at ease, AKA comfort, right? It also means a settled method of working that requires little effort and yields only barely acceptable results. Results. So that's like a C if we go back to grade school. It's, it's just enough, right? And it feels safe and comfortable. So here's— when I was thinking about comfort zones, I was thinking how blocking they are. And my reaction was, fuck the comfort zone, man. It is— it's a trap. It really, to me, is a trap because you're in your comfort zone, you feel safe, and that is viewed as good. But where's change? Where's growth? Growth does not occur in the comfort zone. Why would someone want to stay in their comfort zone? Well, it's safe, it's easy. To me, that's the big one. It's just flippin' easy. I know what— I know what goes on here. I got my job, got my spouse, got my kids, got my bills. I understand everything. I'm okay with everything. But there's one thing There's actually a lot that the comfort zone does not provide, and that is growth. Growth to me means change. Think of a butterfly or a plant. You plant a seed, it changes. It goes from a seed to a stalk and even higher to a flower. Another thing comfort zones do not account for is your dreams, your aspirations, your desires. These are valid, important things that we all have inside of us that come to us. And when we are in our comfort zone, that they stay that way— just dreams. Oh, it'd be so cool if I started my own business. Oh, I would love to write that book. Oh, I'd love to have my dream job. 'But I can't because I'm in this life and I have to stay here.' Fuck that, man. No, you are meant to more. You were meant to do more than just stay in your fucking comfort zone, okay? It's your security blanket. You need to fucking burn it now. This is all kind of harsh language. If you watch more of my videos as I continue to make them, you're gonna notice I cuss a lot, so just accept that if you're still here. Let's dive into this more. So why, why should you leave your comfort zone? It's safe, it's comfy, it's warm, it's a security blanket. Why? That goes back to growth. Growth can't occur in a comfort zone because growth means change. So if you want your life to look different, if you want to feel happier, if you want X, Y, and Z, it means you have to change your comfort zone. And I think for a lot of us, we jump from comfort zone to comfort zone, right? And that's okay. That's, to me, essentially how it needs to go. I'll use myself as an example. Okay, so in 2019, I lost my job, lost my boyfriend, and was recovering from a back injury. I didn't know what to do. I was out of my comfort zone. I could stay, get an apartment with some roommates, do my own thing, get another job. But I, I didn't really want to do that. So I started exploring new ways. I found a job teaching online, and by 2020 I left the United States to travel. I know that's a giant step out of a comfort zone, right, leaving the country, but So that's a big example. A smaller example would be— oh, here's a good one. A smaller example would be when I traveled, I was in Mexico City, and that's where I started out. Back in the United States, I was more of a homebody. I didn't have a lot of friends. I just kind of kept to myself. But then here I was in a foreign country all alone, And I, through divine providence, ended up in this Spanish class with other people my age, obviously from Western countries, trying to learn Spanish. And it was a test for me. It felt like I could have stayed quiet, done my little Spanish homework, and I was like, I really feel like I need a invite them to go out for lunch after our Spanish class, or just put myself out there basically to develop friendships. I mean, what do I have to lose? I'm going to leave here in a few weeks anyway. Why not, you know, take that small step out of my comfort zone? I've done this big one, but I don't know, I've almost forgotten how to make friends. So we were in Spanish class, it was near the end, and I I just did it. I said, hey, do you guys want to go out for lunch? And guess what? They did, and we were friends, and it was amazing. And then I got invited to do other things, and I met more people, and I had a blast, all because I took that tiny step of faith out of my comfort zone. It was not comfortable for me to ask them to go out to lunch. That's a very small thing. For other people, that's going to be silly easy, but for me it was hard. Making this video right now is out of my comfort zone, but I'm doing it anyway because I know I need to. This message needs to get out there. So it doesn't have to be big, doesn't have to be leave the fucking country. It can be as small as inviting someone can be as small as inviting someone out to dinner, out to lunch, maybe just talking to them, just saying hi. If that's out of your comfort zone, do it. It doesn't have to be big. That, I think, is the lie our ego tells us. If you want to move out of your comfort zone, I mean, you're gonna have to change everything. Ah. No, no, that's not the way it works. Maybe eventually everything will change, but it's progressive, it's small. That first small step was asking those friends, "Hey, do you wanna go get lunch after this?" That's step 1, I did it. Now it's outta my hands. Oh, they both said yes. Well, let's go, right? Let's go do it. Now we're talking, and I'm getting more comfortable. So start small, okay? You don't have to quit your job. You don't have to do anything. I get a lot of story ideas out of my— I remember the first time I wrote one, I was just like, well, why don't I just attempt to write it down? And I did, and then It just started flowing. Before I knew it, a few months later, I had a novel. So that one small act can change so much. So don't let the lie that it has to be big, has to be this massive life-changing thing that you do, like leaving the country. It doesn't have to be that way. You start small. And really what this exercise is, when you fuck your comfort zone, what you're doing is you're facing fear, right? You're facing a fear. I had a fear of talking to people, had a fear of making friends. I looked at fear in the face and I said, okay, I'm gonna do it. Worst that can happen, I'm leaving in 2 weeks. Maybe I don't go to Spanish class again. They all laugh at me. These crazy things we tell ourselves, right? Nah, they were nice people. I'm a nice person. We all got lunch and had a good time. It broke that cycle for me. I don't have a problem with this now, and even if I did, I have that energy of knowing I've done it before. I've done it before, so I can do it again. Maybe it didn't go the way I wanted to that time, but this time I, I know what to work on. That's why it's important to recognize where your comfort zone is, okay? And when you're presented with these opportunities, just freaking go for it, man. There's really no reason not to. You already know the worst that can happen. Maybe it's asking somebody out on a date. Maybe it's saying yes to someone who asks you on a date. There's so many scenarios, right? But yeah, so a lot of questions people might come to. Yeah, Joy, I know I need to fuck my comfort zone, but how in the fuck do you do that? Well, you do it by starting small. Like that example with asking people going out to lunch. You start small. If it still feels too big and you're like, I just don't think I can do it, I don't think I can do it, then choose something else that's smaller that, yeah, it's uncomfortable, but I think I can do it. Start there. That's, for me, that was asking people to go to lunch. It's making this video. It's uncomfortable. I'm looking at a camera. I'm not looking at a human. But even though it's uncomfortable, I can do it. And if I do this more enough, if I do this enough, right, I'll get better at it. It'll get— it'll slowly morph into my comfort zone, and then I can build. That's all it is, guys. You're building. I view it almost like a ladder, like, but almost like waves too. Like, just, you know the how. You know the how. Start small, face the fear, fucking do it. Be a badass. Yeah, end of story. That's it. When you embrace things outside of your comfort zone It's going to do a lot of things for you. It's going to bring trust in yourself, confidence, trusting God, Source, Universe, whatever you want to call it. And it's going to open you up to a whole new way of living. This is where growth happens, when you fuck your comfort zone. This is how you can look back a year in the past and see how far you've grown. If you don't see much growth, then you should probably rewatch this video and make sure that this lesson sinks in, okay? Yeah, this is all how it works for me. I— here's the challenge for you. I want you to examine yourself Pick one thing that you would want to change or try, even if it's scary, even if it makes you uncomfortable. That's actually a good sign that you're not picking something too easy. And just do it. Could be maybe you're not into meditation. That's like totally my jam, okay? So if you're not into meditation, I'm not sure Come join me every Saturday at 12. We meditate together. All right, go on YouTube, find a, find a meditation. Just do it, test it out. So this is like your homework, basically. If you're watching this, if you made it this far, journal it out, talk it out, whatever is your thing. Pick something and make that change, and then If you're super cool, come back, write in the comments what you did, and share your experience, which might be another out of your comfort zone thing, but it's kind of the whole theme of this video, okay? So I look forward to these comments. I look forward to making more of these videos and connecting with you guys, and I love you all. I hope you fuck your comfort zones. I mean this from my heart. Namaste.