Joy D. Fanning explores how judgment of yourself and others triggers anxiety, then offers a three-question framework to break the cycle: Is this serving me? What can I learn? What action do I need to take? She walks through examples of resetting expectations, seeking learning, and practicing forgiveness.
Chapters
Hello, my name is Joy D. Fanning, an astronaut of life. I help people go inward to explore, to discover the astral realms for themselves. So this month of January, I'm talking about anxiety and my own journey with anxiety and all these different aspects of it. This video, I want to focus on judgment. A lot of times when I'm anxious, I take a second or a few and think about the root cause of my anxiety, and sometimes It's a form of judgment, either on myself or someone else that I'm like finding annoying or something. So I kind of want to discuss this today, this root cause of judgment, of anxiety, and really focus on how I get rid of this judgment, either myself or other people, when I acknowledge it. So real quick, Here's what to me judgment sounds like in your head. So if it's judgment of myself, I'm going to hear like, well, you should work as hard as so-and-so, or well, they built a better website than you, or their stuff is better. This is things I'm comparing myself against and I'm falling short. So therefore I feel anxious because I'm not meeting my own standard that I've created, right? That's what to me self-judgment looks like. If you're judging someone else, this might sound like, they should be doing this X, Y, and Z differently. They need to— why are they doing it this way? Why don't they understand that this is how it is? That kind of talk. You can kind of almost feel the vibe just in me saying that, right? It's kind of icky. I don't really personally like these kind of vibes. So when I feel them and I'm like, and I'm getting that way, I ask myself 3 questions and I work through them to release these feelings. Because like I said, I don't really enjoy this state. I don't like being in it, and it pops up quite often, sadly. So these are the things I ask myself. When this happens. The first thing I ask myself is, is this serving me? Is this true? Is this a true statement or is it false? And a lot of times that'll help me analyze, oh, I'm just overthinking, or you know what, I'm my own person. I don't have to go at their race car pace. If I'm a turtle, I'm a turtle, right? Like, I can do it my own way. It kind of helps me shift that perspective and not take it so personally, as in like the judgment. The next thing I ask is, what can I learn from this? Like, is there a lesson? Am I being too judgy? Do I need to look at myself and why I'm comparing them to something else? Is this even fair? Could there be a cause for them to act this way? Is it even something I need to focus on right now? If I'm judging myself, it's— what can I learn from this? When I judge myself would be, you know, why do I feel like I'm failing? Why do I feel like I'm not meeting this standard? Is that even a reasonable standard? Hmm, well, they're a professional. I'm just beginning. No. That's probably not a good standard. I probably need to reanalyze this and readjust my expectations. The next one I would say is a little bit trickier, and that is what action do I need to take next? So this can be physical action that you do. It could be an emotion that you need to create and do. So if I have this high expectation expecting myself to act like a pro at something when I'm just starting out. Obviously there's some pieces I'm missing, right? So what action do I need to take? Well, that action is, okay, I need to reset my expectations. Well, maybe I just make a tiny change. Okay, well, this is attainable. I can do this and work my way up to being a pro at this. And I kind of— then I feel better about myself, and it takes that feeling away. It's like, oh yeah, I, I'm not a pro yet. I'm just beginning. I don't have to be perfect at this. It's gonna take me time to learn it. Okay, so to be proactive, let's read a book, take a course, do something to help improve this area so I can, can grow this. I want to grow in this, so this is what I want to do. If it's judging someone else, there could be forgiveness involved. Maybe you're jealous. Maybe, um, it's an inappropriate comparison. I almost think all comparisons are almost inappropriate on another level. But do you need to ask them to forgive you for comparing? Do you need to forgive yourself for comparing yourself to someone. So this plays a role too. Another one I would say is acceptance. I need to accept that I'm not a pro at this point. I'm not a pro at whatever it is, right? I'm at this level. I accept that I'm at this level and I'm okay with it. I know I can move up. If it's about other people, Accepting that that's where they're at, and I can't make their choices for them. Yeah, I'd probably do it a lot different, but that— I'm not in that body. That is not me, so to speak. I'm not in control of that is really what it is. I would not say it's not me because we're all one. But I'm not in control of their actions. I can only control my own. So what do I need to do? Do I need to confront them about their behavior? Do I need to go to my guides for advice if I'm unsure? Do what you gotta do, right? Sort through it. Here's the thing though, I think And I'm speaking for myself here too. You don't know, I don't always take the time to analyze like this. I'll be anxious and then when you're in that anxious energy, almost the last thing you wanna do is like stop and analyze yourself. And you, it almost like feeds itself. Like, ugh, I'm just gonna be Mrs. Grunchy Pants and I'm just gonna, ugh. I guess I've gotten into the habit in the past where I'm like, I just have to push through this, when really that's the opposite of what I need to be doing. I need to be stopping and giving myself a moment to just do this analyzation, take us— take a moment to just take stock in what is happening and figure out the whys, so then I can refocus to change my energy, right? I don't really know how to help in that besides just suck it up and do it. And once you do it once, it's gonna get easier each time when you're like, wait a minute, it really is okay if I just pause and stop. I'll even pull over on the side of the road. I will stop walking. I will just sit there and focus. Okay, Joy. Okay, me. Is this thought serving me? Is this even a true thought? What do I need to learn and what action do I need to take? Okay, okay, I got my answers. Let's go do it. I hope this is a little bit of tough love, but I feel like if, if you're my age, you've probably figured this out already, but I'm probably just putting it into words for you, so If that's the case, please leave a comment for sure. Also, this month I'm making specified specific guided meditations all around the concept of anxiety. You will want to check those out. I personally find them helpful. They're literally ways— the visualizations are things that have happened to me in meditation to just helped me with anxiety. Like, my guides showed me the faucet, they showed me everything. So I just turned it into a meditation for other people because it was so helpful for me. Also, I want to invite you— on Saturdays at 12 PM Eastern, in my Discord channel, we do a live guided meditation. So you can do these, these anxiety meditations. You basically get to do them the week before they go up. A few days before they go up on YouTube. So I would love to have you join us. The group is growing. It is so cool to see. We have so many beautiful people there. I would love to have you there with us. Also, if you are new to meditation, new to spirituality, and you want to know what it's like to talk to your guides or astral travel or any of these things, The basis of that is building a spiritual practice. And on February 22nd, I'm going to be launching a course for 6 weeks long. It's interactive where I will be there with you, helping all of you guys along the way during these 6 weeks. And we're going to build our spiritual practices and then use them to connect. And I would love to have you there. If this interests you, please check the link. Go to my website, um, sign up for the pre— pre-link and, and join us. I would love to have you there. Thank you guys so much for your time and attention. I appreciate you all. Namaste.
