A short parenting/advice clip (by Kim Zoller) referencing a webinar by a teacher named Tom. The speaker cites a claim that about 80% of adult-to-child communication are commands, and urges adults to mindfully notice and nonjudgmentally acknowledge helpful behaviors in children (e.g., cleaning up, clearing plates) as positive reinforcement.
I recently participated in a webinar given by teacher Tom, who's an incredible educator, and he shared a statistic that 80% of the communication from adults to children, whether that's parent to child or teacher to child, 80% of that communication is typically commands telling our children what they need to be doing and when. And if your children are human children like mine, then the way that they're receiving that is probably Snoopy completely tuning you out, hearing, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, right now. Think of something that your children are doing that is helpful. And if you can't think of something right now in the moment, then mindfully start observing and looking for something that they are doing that is helpful. And then without judgment, point it out to them. You cleaned up your toys. I didn't even have to ask you. You cleared your plate from the kitchen table and you put it in the dishwash. You cleaned your room, you took out the trash. Whatever it is, just notice something that they're doing that's helpful. I guarantee you they will not tune that out.
