Kim Zoller shows parents how to apologize to their kids with four concrete steps: acknowledge what happened, name the feelings, say what you should have done, and commit to trying differently next time. She urges you to do it now, whether for something small or something from years ago.
If you're an imperfect parent like I am, then you are making lots of mistakes, and that's okay. The best thing we can do when we make mistakes, or when we maybe fly up the handle or don't handle things, the best way is to make a repair. Admit it, say sorry. And it doesn't have to be that day. It can be a week later. It can be a year later. If you know that you did something in the less than ideal way, go to your child and say, I'm sorry. I remember that day. I did such and such. That was just a bad parenting moment. I was feeling this way, and I handled it the wrong way. Here's what I should have done, and here's what I'm going to try and do next time. This is such an important thing to do. It teaches children how to take ownership for their mistakes and for their wrongdoings. And it really improves the connection between you and your child. Right now, go and make a repair with your child. It can be for the smallest thing or the biggest thing. It can be from today or it can be from three years ago. Whatever it is, go now. Make a repair. You'll be glad you did.
