Kit Barber shares a one-line question that changes how people receive criticism: "Do you want me to tell you what you want to hear, or what you need to hear?" He learned it from Nick and says it lowers defensiveness and gets permission to be honest. No one ever picks the first option.
When I have to give tough feedback, I always start with this one sentence which I learned from a guy called Nick, who's far, far more intelligent than I am. Do you want me to tell you what you want to hear, or do you want me to tell you what you need to hear? Importantly, by doing this, it gets permission, then it removes defensiveness, and it turns feedback from threats into growth. It works every single time, and you know what? No one picks the first option.
