How to Instantly Turn Trauma into Joy with Equinox Founder Lavinia Errico and Rebecca Zung on Negotiate Your Best Life #551

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today on negotiate your best life with Rebecca Zung.

Then about three o' clock in the afternoon, it dawned on me. Oh, my God. I'm out of that cloud, that gray cloud. I literally started crying.

Oh, my gosh.

I was like, I couldn't believe it. I was like, I'm literally. It's as if this shadow, this sadness, this hurt, this pain, this betrayal, like everything, it was as if it just flew off me. Mm. And I thought, wow. The only thing different was that I was doing this every day for 20 minutes.

Almost like an exorcism or something.

Exactly. Exactly. It was exactly what it was.

So the big questions are these. How can we navigate and negotiate every situation in our lives, in our career, in our businesses, in our relationships, and even with ourselves for our own self worth? In other words, what if you could win every time and have no losers? Let's face it, we're not negotiating just to buy a car or for a pay raise. We are negotiating for living in every aspect of our lives. How can we do that powerfully, successfully and victoriously? Those are the questions and this podcast will give you the answers. My name is Rebecca Zung and welcome to the time where you negotiate your best life. Welcome to another episode of negotiate your best life. I'm so excited to have you here. So for everybody who's listening, this is Lavinia Erico, who is one of the founders of Equinox, which is literally one of the most forward gems. It really became one of the biggest brands in the world and you were really instrumental in taking it to really being one of the most amazing brands in the world because it really supported women and it really became a woman supported gem. I mean, as far as what it did, as far as lifestyle. And that's you. You are grace, you are power, and you are brilliance. But everything about you maintains femininity and maintains strength, but also grace and femininity at the same time. And brilliance. And it's like just to know you. It's everything in one. And the gym is really a culmination of you. And you started it with your brothers, but it wouldn't be what it is without you. And so I'm so grateful to be able to share you with our community because you've also gone through a lot to be where you are today.

Yeah. Well, thank you, Rebecca, for having me here. I love sharing my story and all different little parts of it. And, you know, the interesting thing about Equinox, it was really. It was myself and my two brothers. You know, we. We had a lot of magic that happened in creating something that we were all so passionate about. And I think that was one of the. The strong suits of it. And it was a place that females that. That women could come to and feel really safe and feel seen and feel like we were creating programming for them, which wasn't always the case in gyms. It was, you know, rough and men throwing weights on the floor and a little bit. And ours wasn't like that. It was really a place where. And I'm not sure that when we were creating it, that that was our vision. We just wanted to create a place that we all wanted to work out at. Right. And it was a place that just had a little more sophistication in a gym, a little bit more manners, if you would, a little bit more cleanliness and hygiene and yet great classes and wrapped with a lot of style to have that stylish feeling. So, yeah, it was amazing creating that and still watching how it's developed once we sold. And gosh, you know, it's exciting when you see something that you birthed that so many years later can still be relevant, like, beyond relevant. Like, sometimes my brother, My one brother and I have a twin brother, and we'll go into some of the gyms and we'll be like, wow, like, if we still own this, would we still be doing this? Like this, like, some of it.

So you gotta let go.

No, no, we let go, but we kind of laugh. Cause we're like, you know, I think we would have changed that by now. I think we would have evolved in a different way. But again, you know, they're doing a great job. It's amazing.

I know, but you really revolutionized the industry.

Yeah, I don't it wasn't even just the industry. I think we created the whole wellness craze. Like I remember when we were sitting in a room whiteboarding the center that we were opening and we were trying to figure out what to name it and it was like the Longevity center and the Anti Aging center and you know, and then we were whiteboarding everything we were and everything we weren't. And it was like, oh, it's a place you come to, to preventative. It was like preventative medicine. And, and then, yeah, it prevents you from getting ill. And then somebody was like, well, what's the opposite of illness? And somebody was like, wellness, wellness. And we were like, is that even a word? I mean, is that even a word today? That's a trillion dollar business. It's a category that's like it was not a category, you know, 25 years ago. So it's so interesting, like when I look of where it's all evolved, it's amazing. I mean it's so amazing to see like where it is. I mean today I would say that wellness, longevity and fitness are in probably the top three of what people, what our future is going to be about, you know, AI for sure. And then that I think, you know, it's AI and longevity, fitness health, mental health, emotional health, spiritual health, emotional health, physical health, probably financial health and sexual health.

Right.

But all of that. So health, I mean, years ago that was not the way it was. Like we have come so far for the way people are showing up to take responsibility for their well being so far.

I mean, I remember when I first got out of law school, it was like 99, 2000 and I moved to Naples, Florida and I was talking about yoga and people were like, oh my God, that's like Hare Krishna. You know, people thought that was.

Yeah, you were joining a cult. If you.

Crazy, crazy stuff. And that was just not even 20 something years ago. I mean that was still crazy stuff. Yeah, was yoga. So I mean times have really, really changed. So I want to talk about your experiences. I mean you didn't come from, you know, money, you didn't come from, you know, a lot of things.

And.

But you've dealt with crazy toxic people along the way. I mean you've had to fight for a lot of what you've achieved. I mean you've been a girl in a boy's world, you came from a big family. I mean you've, it's not like you sit here and you go, well, you know, it was all handed to me. I, you know, here I Am. I mean, you've had to fight for a lot of what you've had. And even once, you know, you sold Equinox, you've had.

I mean, just because you have money doesn't mean that there's no more storms. No, as long as we're breathing right, there's gonna be storms that are gonna come. You know, it's interesting because my little niece was visiting me this weekend and she did. She's a teen. And I encouraged her to do this personal development program this, this weekend. And I went to the graduation to watch these young people graduate. And it touched my heart because I was like, wow, it's so amazing to see these young people working on themselves.

Which one was it?

You know, it's called Insight seminars.

Okay, wonderful. Because I just finished mastery training and mit.

Oh, I know. My MIT team. Yeah, amazing. Well, Insight is in that same genre from what I understand, because I haven't done mitt, but I've done the entire curriculum at Landmark. This one is a little more heart centered, you know, so they really bring you back to a lot of times, like really connecting to your heart. But it was just so beautiful to listen to these young teenagers talk about taking responsibility and what that looked like. And, you know, that my family's drama is not my drama. Like, I just have to be clear on what my integrity is, how I show up for my life, how I have boundaries for my life. And I'm just sitting there going, wow,

to learn that at the beginning.

I wish I had that at 17 years old, you know, to really have that kind of training, I mean, it's just unbelievable. Unbelievable that we have that today, you know, because we didn't have that, you know, when I was 16 years old. And life, in some ways, life was simpler and in other ways it was more complicated because, you know, if somebody was having therapy in those days, it was because you were crazy.

Crazy.

It was just crazy. Nobody went to therapy to have better communication. Nobody went to therapy. Like, in those days, you were literally practically getting the shock treatment. You know, you were like, they.

There was so much shame around it.

So much shame. So much shame around it. And, you know, today it isn't. It's part of our culture. You know, it's part of our culture too. And even for people that possibly aren't, can't afford to be in check, the church offers so much stuff. You know, there's really ways to get really amazing and just, you know, what's online these days, you know, some amazing TED talks and YouTube and there's just to access really good information on how to help with your mental, emotional and psychological well being. Is. It's just wonderful that it's available.

I would love for you to share some of the. Maybe the biggest struggles that you've had to overcome. Because my community has had to overcome, or maybe they're feeling really low, they're dealing with toxic people, or they're feeling really stuck. Because I want to talk about. I want to get to move Joy, and I want to have you maybe talk about some of the things, you know, to the extent that you're comfortable, that you've had to deal with some of the biggest struggles, some of the biggest difficulties that you've had in your life. Because I want people to know that you're not immune.

No, you for sure. You know, for me, when I look at. When I start understanding what it means to be like even a healthy infant, you know, I mean, when I look at the way my life started and by the way, there's no pity party. Like, I believe I am the woman I am today because of the storms that I've had to climb through. I know I would not. Nothing in my life happened to me. It happened for me. I know.

Which, by the way, is why I just. I don't know. We even want to get to how you always stay so in such high vibration. I mean, I want to talk about that too, because you're just amazing how you always do that. But I want people to see, like, how does she always do that, despite the things that you've done?

She's definitely taken work. So I say that like I was a preemie. I told you, I have a twin brother. And. And we were in an incubator for six weeks. And when you start learning about the research of being taken away from your mom, and in those days, it wasn't like they didn't always like, you know what? You better rest these next six weeks because you're gonna be taking two twins home and life's gonna be. You're not gonna get any sleep, go and stay home and rest. And you know, my mom would say they came for maybe a half an hour a day. And the hospital didn't have. In those days, they didn't know what they know today. Today they have volunteers that come and hold the infants all day long. And in those days, they didn't have that. So, you know, here I was in an incubator for six weeks. And we know now we know that that is. It creates a detachment, so that automatically Starts a lot of issues, but we didn't know that. But for me, I have always been a little bit anxious, even as a young child. You know, when my parents weren't there, I would get afraid. So I think, you know, once I started learning about infancy, how life starts in infancy, I says, wow, that was a little bit of a rough start. Right. And then I had an aunt that was murdered when I was in fourth grade. Oh, my God. And she was really like. I would go to her house a couple weekends a month because she didn't have any children. And my mom had. My mom had five kids at two and a half years.

Oh, my gosh.

Because she had two sets of twins.

Oh, my gosh.

And then my youngest sister, who's just a year younger, so six of us in four years. And she always said I literally had five kids in diapers. So she was very happy when my aunt would offer to take me for the weekend. So I was very, very close to her. So when she. When that incident happened, not only was it devastating, because it was murder. And as a young child at that age, you just want everything to feel safe, you know, you just want life to feel like life is safe. We're all good. And that I learned at a very young age that it's not. It's not. And so. And then I lost, you know, my aunt. We used to call her Auntie Ri, who I was very, very, very close to. So that created a lot of deep. More anxiety for me, for sure. And just sadness, like a lot of sadness in my heart, you know, And I just feel like that that energy was kind of threaded for me, you know, after that, like, even. Yes. I always, you know, my happy place was dancing. I love to dance. And I feel very, very blessed that I always had that. Cause that was my escape, you know. And needless to say, after my mom's sister, the situation. My mom, I almost wanna say never again. Was exactly the same. No, no. I mean, her father had already. She was alone. She was.

She was that. Her only sister.

Her only sister. And both her parents had already passed. Passed. So. And she didn't really come from. She didn't have a lot of cousins or anything like that. And so it was really heavy for my mom. I also watched my mom go from like a size 10 to a size 18 in a year. So the transformation of that was huge. Yeah. And just. It was more the. The erratic behavior that was associated with that, you know.

Yeah.

As much as my mom is. Was always a force. And I know I Wouldn't be the woman I am without my mom. Because there were so many. I mean, my mom, first of all, was very successful when women in the 50s were not successful. You know, she had a high position in corporate in a female retail store with six kids. No, no, this was before she had us. My mom, actually, the day she got back from her honeymoon, they. She got back, she went back to work, and they offered her even a bigger promotion. And she was already like a district manager, a regional manager, which in those days was unheard of in, like, 1959 to be a woman in corporate like that. But she was a force. So they offered her a promotion when she got back from her honeymoon, and she was like, actually, I think I might be. I'm hoping to be pregnant. But she was 33 or 34. And they said, pregnant, you're too old. Oh, no, you're gonna have a baby. Like, we thought you were gonna be a career woman the rest of your life. And she was like, I'm hoping to have a baby. You know, so it's just interesting. Like, she was already. She carved out. She was a force. You know, even the stuff she said to me, she was like, lavinia, discipline, hard work, you know, consistency, do your best. Nothing else but your best, and you can create whatever you want in your

life as you did.

Yeah, but that was like, her. Like, she didn't make me believe, because I was a woman, that I couldn't do that. Where I saw a lot of my friends at the time, they didn't have that same belief system. Their belief system didn't believe that they could create anything. Oh, I'm going to be a teacher. Because that's what women do, or, you know, they have your summer off, and. And that's great. But my mom, somehow. I'm not even sure if it's her words or her energy. Like, she had an energy that was, you could do whatever you want, you put your mind to it, you discipline, you stay consistent. You know, it was just embedded in me to believe that. So, yeah. So needless to say, after. Just to bring it back to that, after my aunt died, my mom definitely

lost a part of herself.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the anger became much more apparent. Like, she just. It was probably always there a little bit, but she would just really kind of. Kind of lose it, you know?

Really?

Oh, yeah, she was. She was. God bless her, she was. So many things about her. I always like to talk about the amazing things, you know, about her. But on the other hand, she had a temper that was just, you know,

you didn't know what you were going

to get at home. You didn't know what you were going to get at home.

So then that also created an unsafety. An unsafe environment.

Yeah. Yeah. No. Even before my aunt died, like I. Because my mom, she was already heat. She had a lot of fire. You know, there was a lot of fire there. I would literally in third grade, run home from school, climb through the window and clean the kitchen.

Oh.

So that when she got home from work, the kitchen was cleaned and they weren't all cereal dishes all over the table.

Okay.

Just so that she would be calmer.

Okay.

You know, like this anxiety. Yes.

So now did that cause you to. Did that show up in your relationships as an adult? Like, did you find yourself attracted to somebody who was emotionally unavailable as an adult?

You know, I realize that I had a very, very hard time connecting with men, trusting men. Now, part of it could be because my aunt was murdered by her husband, who by the way was a doctor. So I just had your little one

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I had a hard time trusting and really connecting with men. And the truth of it is, when I really look back, I. When it came to, like, who I am, I didn't have a lot of confidence. Yeah.

I think what happens is we end up subconsciously picking people who are emotionally unavailable. Like, because we're. It's not like we want that, but we end up.

Well, I was emotionally unavailable.

Well, yeah.

I mean, I. You realize, you know, you get.

You mirror. Yeah.

What. Who you are. And I was clearly emotionally unavailable. I was for sure a pleaser.

Pleaser.

I wanted to. I wanted to please everyone. I very rarely spoke my truth.

Yeah.

And if I did, if I got it in there, I was kind of always having to figure out how to say it. So you weren't going to get mad. I worried so much about what other. The other people's feelings, like over the top, to the point where I didn't focus in on my own feelings. I would just kind of shelve my feelings to make other people happy.

Yeah. Because you're so afraid that that person's going to leave.

Yeah, they're going to leave. They're going to abandon you. They're going to. So, yeah, I definitely had a lot

of that anxious, attached style. Right. Yeah. So did that cause you to attract narcissistic people into your life?

I think I've attracted all kinds of people. Like, I've for sure. I mean, I think they're there. I mean, I've definitely had my share of people who are a bit narcissistic, but I think I knew how to deal with that. Like, I could kind of. I could work around them. I felt like I had some mastery around it. But what's amazing today is that I'm free. Like, I have literally, I have cut through.

Yeah.

That.

Well, I mean, it's. It takes knowing your worth takes knowing your worth.

And it also takes, you know, going through a lot of stuff and. And staying. Staying in it. Staying in. In your inside work. Right.

Yeah.

Doing the work. If you say, oh, Lavinia, you're always positive. You're always. And when I look at the amount of work that I've done and I constantly doing. And even with that I'm not perfect, trust me. I saw myself a couple years ago when somebody was really pushing my buttons.

Woo.

Pushing those buttons. I mean, it's like I brought the Italian girl from New Jersey off the show. I was like, bringing her right out, and then I had to go, wait a minute. You know what? This has nothing to do with me. This is their insecurity, their ego, their stuff. Like, it's not mine. And it still hurt. And I had to stay in the sadness of it because I was so hurt. But it was easier for me to get angry and lash out at you and point a finger at you. And even though a lot of it really didn't have that much to do with me. And yeah, we sometimes. I know, for me, being in the sadness is harder than being in the anger. Right? It's easier to be in the anger. It's easier like you're pointing a finger. It's like. But to be like, wow, I'm really like, my. I'm heartbroken. You know, I'm. And I'm heartbroken that this has gone like that. And so I always do this. I'm one of a person where I always go, hey, how am I responsible? How like, I'm always looking. Where am I out of integrity here? Where am I some. Because, you know, it takes two to tango.

But you know what I love about that? I love that you just said that. Because the fact that you do that, the flip of that is that you also then get to be the cause and creation of your life. So if you don't say, where can I take responsibility for this? Because if you're in a victim mode, right, Then you're not causing creation.

Exactly.

Of your life.

I mean, I have to admit, I. If I had to say, like, what are. What are the energies that I loathe the most? It's victim. Yeah. Like, I don't know why, but when I hear people going into victimization, the hair on my back goes up. I really. It's like, like I. So the last person I ever want to do is do that to me. So I really say, okay, how am I. Because, you know, there's a saying that, you know, the road to hell could be made on good intentions. You know, it could still be the good intentions get you to hell. So just because your intentions are good, there's still something misaligned, you know, and that's what I look at. Like, wow, my intention was never for that to happen, but it did. And how can I, number one, not do that again? And number Two, how do I clean it up? You know, I'm always about getting in communication. Like, I'm the queen of that. Yeah. To a fault. To the point where I've had, you know, people say to me, hey, you know what, Lamania, that works for you. But that's not working for me. Like, I don't want to be in communication with all these people. Like, I don't want to talk to these people. I don't want to be in communication. That's your fantasy, not mine. And it kind of is. Especially when it's like family or good friends or something.

Well, but some people can't. Like, if you're talking about a narcissist or whatever, like, talking to them is really not a good thing.

It's not a good thing. And that's what my. I have a mentor that I work with. And I said, well, this one I'm gonna avoid.

Yeah.

And at first I feel really bad about it. And he goes, you should. And I'm like. And he goes, they're dangerous. And I'm like, okay, but, you know, leave it alone. I have a 10.

I always say, send them light, but

over there, you know, I need more of that because I'm a little bit like, everybody gets us, everybody's gonna grow, everybody's gonna evolve. Maybe it's gonna be different. Like, I'm like, a little bit of that. Like, let's give everybody another chance. And I do think that that's a slippery slope. And I do think that. That I have probably to have a better boundary on that for sure. But like I said, you know, you're just working on it. You're finding out. Yeah. And you never stop growing. Like, that's the beauty of it. Right. But I do, I am seeing that now that there are certain situations and with certain people that you must love them from afar.

Yeah. So send them light. But over there. Yeah, that's what I say. Because if they're not self aware and they're not willing to take responsibility, then, you know, you just can't do anything about them.

Yeah.

I want to get to Move Joy.

Thank you. Because I love it.

It's just. I am so blessed and grateful that I got to experience it with you teaching it. It's so incredible. And so really what Move Joy is, it's really movement with joy. I mean, it really is what it sounds like. But you take ancient wisdom, ancient power, ancient sacred wisdom, love, energy, and you put it together with exercise, but it's really, it's. It's a Blend of all sorts of incredible breathing and movement and it's just affirmation. Yeah, it's so incredible. And so I'm going to have you talk about it, but I want you to talk about how it came to be and why you're even doing this. Like, why do you even need to do this?

I know you're like. I mean, first of all, you know, I'm at a place in my life where I don't need to do this. I can sit on the beach in Tulum, in CN Khan, one of my favorite places, and just stay there and really enjoy my life. And I do incorporate that as well. The truth is, Rebecca, I. I never planned on building a brand that wasn't in my, like, wasn't in my thought process. But I went through a really dark two years, honestly, probably the darkest, almost the darkest two years of my life. Didn't see it coming. And I. All the things that I was normally doing, my meditation, my gratitude, you know, I had done, you know, my. My journaling, my connection, just all that I was doing. I was still doing some therapy, some emdr. I was really trying to get out of it. And the truth of it was, it was like I couldn't get out of this gray cloud. I just couldn't. Like, every day I just, I'm trying. No, I smile, you know, have a saying, fake it to make it, you know, like, I'm doing. I'm with my craft crystals, I'm doing my mantras. I'm. You know, I went and did, you know Joe Dispenza's I did my 30 days of the pineal gland?

Yes, I've done that too.

I've done it. And I did it for 48 days straight. I doing everything. And yeah, I'm getting a little better, A little better, but nothing. I still had this cloud. And, you know, one of the doctors said, you know, I think we should put you on a little bit of an antidepressant, Lavinia, just to get you the other side. And not that I'm against, I just don't do medication. I haven't taken so much as an Aleve or an aspirin in 17 years. So for me to take something, I really. And I was almost kind of feeling like maybe this is going to be my new normal. Maybe my new normal is just going to be in this color because I couldn't shake it. And I. I literally was coming, coming, walking to the bed one morning really early. I'd gotten up at like 5 o' clock and I. All of a sudden, there was a pillow on the side of my bed, and instinctively I ended up on my knees. And I was just, like, praying. I'm not. I haven't been. I'm not a prayer like that. I don't pray like that. Like, I always viewed myself more spiritual than religious, but I just started crying, and I was like, God, I have to turn this over to you. I need help. Like, please show me the way. How am I going to get out of this cloud that I'm in? Please, God, show me the way. And. And I'd lost a lot of weight. I was, you know, about 20 pounds lighter. And my doctor was like, we got to get this weight on. Your. Your estrogen levels are starting to tank. Your hormones are tanking up. My nervous system was just so shaken, like, the inside of my nervous system, I could feel it. My resting heart rate, which is usually pretty low, was high. Like, I was a mess, just really a mess.

And I. Is it okay if I share that you had gone through a lot of different changes in your life?

Yeah, I mean, I. You know, it was just like, I was going through. I went through a divorce. I was going through that. I went through a financial guy that, you know, decided it was more important for him to make money than me make money. And it wasn't just about the money. It was like, I trusted this guy, you know, and then I had another situation with someone else who. Very close person to me who, you know, kind of went on the attack and accused me of horrible things. And everyone he was, you know, talking to, he was just saying these horrible things about me. And it was just. It was breaking my heart. It was just painful, like, beyond painful. And so I. I'm on my knees and I praying. I. In bed, I keep kind of just praying one day after the next, and I'm getting ready to go to sleep, like, three or four nights later, and I hear, move. I don't know, God, I don't know who it was, but I hear, move. And I come up and I go, move. Where do you want me to. I thought he was saying, move out of my house. Because now I was in sick in this big house by myself. Maybe I needed to get out of the house. Maybe if I moved out of the house, I would. That was what I needed to do to change the energy, right? To change what was going on. So I was like, but I love my house, and I love my land. And really, like, I'm sitting there talking to air and saying, but I love it. Really? You want me to move? Anyway, next day or two days later, I'm outside. I have this big tree out in my backyard that I love. And people make fun of me because I sometimes hug it. I have been for years. I hug trees. Yes. People come and hug.

And I've seen that tree.

It is beautiful. So anyway, but I'm sitting there and my music was on. And it's very interesting because to this day, I don't even know how this happened or why it wasn't premeditated. I just got up and I started moving to the music and I started doing breath work that I know I studied for many years with an amazing teacher, Chris Tai. He's unbelievable and I love his breath work. And I started doing his breath work while I'm moving, doing the breathwork while I'm moving.

And it's like somatic breath work.

Well, at first it wasn't. It was just more like while I'm moving. And then I'm start praying while I'm moving. And God, I'm doing affirmations and I am strong and, you know, and I'm just doing it and moving. I'm a dancer, so I put choreography together. Yeah. You know, so I'm moving it, I'm doing and I'm. And I noticed about 20 minutes later, I was like, oh, I feel good. I'm like, yeah, wow.

I feel good. Oxygen into your cells.

Yeah. And then I started doing it every day. Every day I go outside, I bring my music, and I would just start moving, moving, affirming, moving, connecting, visualizing, visceralizing. I was visceralizing my mind and my body, strong and spiritful and joyful and love filled and my confidence. And I just kept doing that and kept doing it. And I was already teaching an online class to women, more just in purpose, you know, I started it in 2020 when everybody was still in lockdown. So I had already started that class, but that class was like a boot camp class. It wasn't move joy. So. And after about six weeks of doing this, I got up one morning and took a shower, got on with my, taught my class, came in, did something. And then about 3 o' clock in the afternoon, it dawned on me. Oh, my God. I'm out of that cloud, that gray cloud. I literally started crying.

Oh, my gosh.

I was like. I could. I couldn't believe it. I was like, I'm literally. It's as if this shadow, this sadness, this hurt, this pain, this betrayal, like everything, it was as if it just flew off me. And I thought, wow. The only thing different was that I was doing this every day for 20 minutes.

Almost like an exorcism or something.

Exactly, Exactly. It was exactly what it was.

Coming up, more on negotiate your best life with Rebecca Zung.

And it really saddened me that nobody is doing that. Nobody is for everyone, you know, and, you know, and then, like, I would watch women, you know, going into the gym in their 50s and 60s, and, you know, I'd see them in the mirror, and the whole time they're looking at their ankles and they're. They're grabbing their, you know, their middle, and they're. And I'm thinking, God, the whole time they're working out, they're literally just looking at every single thing on their body that they don't like. And I'm like, that's not a good way to work out. We want to work out and be loving our body.

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Yeah, I felt like the old Lavinia, but better than I'd ever felt. You know, like, I just felt my nervous system felt strong, my mind felt strong. Like this was Mind fitness. Like, this was mind fitness. I felt it, my emotional body. Like, everything just, like, you know, just transformed. So I kept doing that, and then I started introducing it to the women that I was teaching this boot camp class to. And they were like, I love this new stuff you're doing with any. I'm like, oh, my gosh.

You just started, like, threading it in a little bit.

Yeah, I just started threading. Threading it in, adding it a little bit in the beginning. Okay. And then doing in the beginning. It was just the beginning and the end. And then I would add a little bit more. And what I was noticing was they started coming more often. Oh, the consistency got a lot better.

Like, oh, I don't want to miss, because I want that.

They liked it because they really liked it. It wasn't just this hard, crazy workout with, you know, jump squats and jump lunges and all this stuff. And now all of a sudden, it was this movement, and at the end, they would get. They were all on zoom, and they would come on. They go, lavinia, I feel so good. I feel really, really good. And it just started to blossom. They started to invite more people. They loved it. Everybody started to get a little bit more vulnerable. We would stay on at the end and talk a little bit, and people would share. And all of a sudden, it was a community that was being built before. It was like, everybody get on, they leave, and they go, bye. Boom. Everything was changing. They're talking to each other, they're making plans, you know, because now things are opening up. Oh, my God, if I go to Florida, I'll come and see you. Relationships are happening. When people are going to New York. They're meeting up with the group in New York. Like, I was going, wow, this is unbelievable. You know, really unbelievable what's happening here. And then I started inviting some other people. When they would say to me, oh, my God, I gained 15 pounds during COVID or, oh, my God. And I'd say, I do this thing online. Why don't you see if it interests you? And they were like, oh, my God, I love it. It's amazing. So it happened so organically, and it came through that. And then about a year and a half ago, maybe a little bit more. Yeah, no, about a year and a half ago, one of. I'm in an entrepreneur group, and they were. We were doing a mastermind, and I ended up on the hot seat, and I was like, I don't have any reason to be on this hot seat. And they were like, no, we want to talk to you. And they. One of them was like, why are you not creating this into a brand? Like, you should make this into a brand like this. You're onto something here. And I was just like, I know what it takes. I don't want to work that hard because I know what it takes. Right at the time I'm thinking, no, like, I'm gonna really start all over. I had a little bit of moment of I'm too old to start over. You know, you have those moments. And then I started to kind of do a little research and I started to talk to some, you know, strategists and people in the industry. And I realized, like, wow, there's a lot of white space here for women over 45 in this way. You know, there's stuff out there, but they're not talking to them. You know, there's nobody. Well, not nobody. I'm sure there's little pockets of it. But really, you know, since Richard Simmons, like, Richard Simmons was amazing because everyone was welcome. Every size, every person. Like, you didn't have to look beautiful in your little, you know, two piece outfit. That's why I love to feel like. To feel like you were part of the crowd. And it wasn't like you were celebrating you exactly the way I am right now.

Yeah.

Even if I ate, you know, a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken the night before. No shame. We just love each other and we're moving our body. And I always loved that, loved that attitude. And it really sad in me that nobody is doing that. Nobody is for everyone, you know, and then, like, I would watch women, you know, going into the gym in their 50s and 60s, and, you know, I'd see them in the mirror. And the whole time they're looking at their ankles and their. They're grabbing their, you know, their middle, and they're. And I'm thinking, God, the whole time they're working out, they're literally just looking at every single thing on their body that they don't like. And I'm like, that's not a good way to work out. We want to work out and be loving our body. Be like, I am strong. I am healthy. I am aware, I am so that the energy that's going into your muscles while you're building is. Is positive, is uplifting. Feels good. We're not sitting there, you know, with the instructor who has, you know, a 12 pack and is making you feel horrible because you're not disciplined enough to have that. You know what, look at the blue zones when you look at the blue zones, those people living to be over 100. Nobody has a six page. Nobody looks like that. That's not what it takes. There's so many other things other than that. Actually, I believe some of that. When you're ripped like that, you're not. There's actually things that are out of balance. I mean, I saw that for myself when I got so thin, my. My hormones started plummeting. You know, I'm also not somebody that's going to just juice myself up with tons of hormones. I work with a homeopathic practitioner, I work with a holistic doctor. You know, I'm not going to just take hormones until I really understand other things about the hormones, you know, so it was just. Yeah. And it just kept growing and people. So then I finally. I did a beta. We did the beta launch in January and I would say by November we're gonna be ready to have our formal launch. So we're. Yeah, we're doing it slowly because there's just a lot of, you know, a lot of operations. I didn't realize, honestly, Rebecca, that I was built. This episode is brought to you by Peloton Break through the busiest time of year with the brand new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus. Powered by Peloton iq, with real time guidance and endless ways to move, you can personalize your workouts and train with confidence, helping you reach your goals in less time. Let yourself run, lift, sculpt, push and go explore the new peloton cross training TREAD plus. @onepalaton.com we all have that dream trip we've been wishing we could go on.

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Go to your happy price. Priceline. Building in a tech company. Because that's what happens when you build online. I thought so once I started understanding.

I didn't know that either when I got started, but here I am, right?

And so you have to deal. And it takes a lot, a little bit more to get everything said. And it was kind of funny because we onboarded like 40 women a couple of weeks ago and I was like, wow. When you're onboarding women over the age of 50 and they're not tech savvy. It takes a lot of tech support.

Yeah.

So. But now we know, like, we just

need a client relations manager who can walk them through.

Exactly. That's what we're doing.

So we.

We have that. You maybe need more than one when you bring on a certain amount, but it's great. And you know, the thing that's so amazing is when they get it and they learn, they feel so good. Like, it's another thing. It's another, you know, another aspect of using your mind in a positive way. So there's so many. There's so many things. You know, we're starting to look at doing some in person events.

Oh, yeah, we're gonna do one. Yeah.

Yeah, I would love to do one. For sure. I'd love to do.

I'd love to do one.

And actually, I would love to all of your people a free week to come and try it out. Because, you know, when you release, you know, emotions have energy and when that energy lives on your body.

Yes.

I mean, when that energy literally lives in your body, when that hurt, that pain, that. I mean, I saw it firsthand what that was doing to me. Oh. It was running havoc on my body. And I'm sure at some point, if I didn't address it, I would have had an autoimmune cancel malignancy. Something would have been something.

It totally does. It needs to. You can't think straight. No.

And it runs havoc. It's on your stomach, on your body, it runs havoc. So you want to have something like my first 15 minutes of every class is called release. So that's all we're doing. We're releasing the energy. And by the way, you'll sweat. So you're releasing that energy. All of the emotions. You may not.

It decreases your cortisol.

Everything we had. Two weeks ago, we did something with an organization in New York, and we did it on Zoom. And the woman who was spearheading it is really into her. You know her, all of her, the Apple watch. And she's always looking at her stress levels and this and that. And she could not believe when she went and she looked at everything in 30 minutes. There's never been anything she's ever done, and she's a runner that has brought it down so far so quickly. So we know it works.

It probably, like, releases serotonin and.

Oh, dopamine.

Yes.

I mean, you feel so good. I mean, the. Between the breath and the movement and we laugh and, you know, we. I'm even very Deliberate on the music. I don't use music with words because I don't want you to get out of your body. I want you to stay in there. I want you to stay in there when you're doing it. And every single movement that we make, every movement has. Nothing's in there for style or for fun. It's in there because it's function. I just. I feel like I like to have fun. I like things that are colorful, as you can see.

Yeah.

I like things that are happy and colorful. So I try to make it like a party.

Yeah.

Like, I try to. When we teach that class and it's live, we do have an on demand library, but I really encourage people to do it live, that it's fun. And they'll say, like, I have butterflies. My clients will say, lavinia, I have butterflies on my stomach. The night before your class. All the classes, not just mine. I have other teachers on there. I have an amazing gal from New York that worked for me for a long time at Equinox, and she's amazing. I have another one starting who's a functional medicine doctor who's unbelievable. Like, I'm. I really am putting together such a amazing team of. Of humans and that really, they walk the walk. You know, they walk the walk of living a holistic life.

So good.

And.

And let me tell you, as somebody who has participated in the class, I just want to say to everybody, these classes are. You sweat and you feel powerful and you feel so good, but it's not like, so rigorous that, like, oh, my God, there's no way I can keep up. You can do these movements. You can do it.

No, it's designed. I mean, it's designed for women, 50 plus, for our joints, our ligaments, our tendons. And I always say the movement is simple but not easy. So you can make it as simple, you can adapt. And I show all the modifications. It's so safe. And at the end, even if you're not getting it, I'm.

Just move, Just move.

Because we have to move our bodies every day.

It's to meet you where you are, and there's a no judgment zone there. Like, just. It's like for you to come for. For you to show up, for you to have fun, and. And that's what I love about it.

And the part, the one thing is even not the exercise part, because I. I don't even think of this as exercise, but everyone should do the release part. Even if you have a yoga practice or you have a soul cycle practice, or you have a boxing. You should do 15 minutes of this. I do at 4 o'. Clock. Usually at the end of my day, I release my energy again. So everyone should be doing the release part because that is so important to release, to be really aware of releasing that energy. Because all day long we're bombarded with energy. We are bombarded with stuff that we're reading online, stuff we're seeing on tv, stuff that we're hearing, you know, I mean, I just saw how freaked out everybody was last week after the debate. I mean, the energy, I was like, move joy, move the joy. Release that energy. You don't want all that fear in your body. You cannot have that, that is going to cause illness.

Anything that not serving you.

You know, women have three quarters of all autoimmune. Are women autoimmune? And they're able to prove, these days, the science can prove that emotions are linked to autoimmune. They absolutely, they're linked. So we know that. So this is a practice that helps you release and discharge the energy of that. And it's. It. Oh, it just is. So, I mean, if I don't do it like one day, like on Tuesdays, I don't teach and sometimes I would just, you know, go to. I love hot yoga and I would just go do hot yoga and maybe get up, hike in or ride my bike. I'd love to mountain bike at 4 o'. Clock. I know this is going to sound crazy, but I look in the mirror and I look different.

Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, I can see you. You glow. You have this energy, you have this vibrancy. And I know for a fact that the reason why you attract so many amazing people into your life and so much goodness into your life is because you. I always say, I cannot leave my thoughts unsupervised.

Yeah.

And. And the reason why you have so much high vibration is so much goodness, is because you have, you have so much high vibration in your thoughts. I mean. Yeah, you attract. I, you know, Wayne Dyer famously said, you don't attract what you want, you attract what you are.

Are. Exactly. And you attract who? You. The beingness.

The beingness.

The beingness. Like that's what. And let me tell you, that year when I went through that, my beingness was not. It was dull. It was like I couldn't get out of that. So that's how I know that it does. And I wasn't attracting good, I was just attracting more, you know, more negativity. You know, I always say about your thoughts the same way we go into our closet and we decide what dress we're wearing and what jewelry we're wearing and what sweater we're wearing and what shoes we're wearing. We have to have that. When we think about what our thoughts are for the day. Like, we really, like, we do these thought challenges with MOVE Joy. Like, and literally, like, I have this technique that I do that is soon as a negative thought comes in my mind, I go, cancel, cancel, cancel, cancel, goodbye, cancel. But you have to sometimes do something that's almost jarring to get it to cancel. Like, you have to do something that's like. It has to be, like, a little harsh to let that go. Because even if that negative thought is fear, like, um, yeah, I don't want to get into that fear. That's not. Fear is. It's not a high vibration.

No.

Right. So. And sometimes there are things that we're fearful of. Like, you know, there's. But you know what? I close my eyes, I say cancel. And I visceral eyes and visualize what it is I want, where it is I'm going. I have it already. You know, if it's like, I.

I

know something with MOVE Joy because I'm building this out and. And somebody says to me, oh, you might not be able to do that. That might be. I close my eyes and I connect. Don't get into the fear. Don't get into the negativity I want. And I feel that the call already came that I'm. The deal's done. And I feel it. I'm. I'm like, it's done. The deal is done. And I say, how does my body feel when I'm going to hear that news? And I use that technique. I use that technique to connect to that, you know, for my health, for friends.

Such good advice. I hope everybody heard that. Really good advice.

You know, we have to have a toolbox for our emotions and for our mind. Like, there really has to be mind fitness. You know, I know for years, everybody's been talking about mental health, mental health, mental health. But it's like, put in this box. But what is the mind fitness that we can do to literally shift certain things? Because, you know, it's your thoughts. It starts with your thoughts.

Totally. Everything starts with.

Everything starts with 100%.

100%. I mean, I actually used to say 80% of winning started before you walked into a room negotiating. And then I interviewed Bob Proctor, and he corrected me on my own podcast, and he said, no, it's 100%.

Oh, I love that.

And I said, you know what? You're right. So I now stand corrected. It's 100% before you.

Well, you know when people always ask me, they want to talk about wellness.

Yeah.

So, Lavinia, Wellness, like, and I say, well, wellness starts between your ears.

Yeah, so true.

Because it really does. Like if you are working out two hours a day and eating, I don't care if you're eating paleo or keto or vegetation, whatever, and you are, you know, drinking your ounces of water and you're getting your eight hours sleep and you're cold, plunging and you're doing infrared sauna and you're doing your, you know, 100 supplements and you're doing all the things the biohacking that everyone's doing. And your thoughts are fear based and worry based and control based and shame based. You're never going to be well.

Never going to be well. You're going to have an autoimmune disease, you're going to get cancer, you are

going to drop over to be well. You're never going to be well. And it's so funny because so many people are spending. I watch it all the time.

Yeah.

Oh, Lavinia, I did my, you know, I'm going to have, you know, four hours a week in the infrared sauna and I'm up to five minutes in the cold plunge and I'm, my diet and my this and like, and then I, but I listen to the fear

and the victim mentality or whatever it

is and I'm just like, like, I would rather see you like eat a piece of cheese and have a healthier mind. Like, it's just really interesting.

So how can they learn more about Move Joy about you?

Well, first of all, MoveJoy Life, you can get on the, on our website, you can sign up for a complimentary week.

So great. Everybody needs to do that.

Thank you.

Right away.

Yeah, I, I, you know, it puts a smile on my face because it works. It does, it really works. And I know people really need it because people, people are really stressed out, wigged out, you know, and media, media loves to make us afraid. You know, my friend's a journalist, she always says, they always say blood cells, you know, the bloodier the story, the more views we're going to get. The more views we get, the more advertising we get. Well, that's how, you know, that's how Instagram is now. They just want to, you know, you know, just constantly hit us with all of that to scare us into buying their products and doing this or do, you know, like, it's bombarding our nervous systems. It's bombarding us and more and more people. We see it all the time now. Right.

Yeah.

I mean, we've had amazing. We've had. I have some women that have fibromyalgia, that have lupus, and every time they go to the doctor and now they're like, your blood work's never looked this good. My God.

All of you go to MoveJoy Life. Get your free week.

Thank you, Rebecca.

And you can follow her@laviniajoy.com and also.

Or movejoy life.

Or movejoy life.

Okay.

And is there anything else you wanted to share?

Thank you.

Yeah.

Keep doing what you're doing because there's a lot of heartache around people that are dealing with narcissists. So to be able to take that out and bring it forth because people haven't been talking about this.

Yeah.

So, yeah. I am inspired by what you do. Thank you.

Well, this has been fantastic and I am so grateful for what you're doing in the world. I mean, you've already done so much and now this is going to change the world even more. So thank you.

Thank you. Yeah. Pleasure.

Thanks for listening to today's episode of negotiate your best life. I'm Rebecca Zung. Tune in next week for another edition of negotiate your best life. Remember, if you want more ways to slay and you want more ways to be supported, you can always join my membership@joinslay.com forward/ Slay. You can always subscribe to my YouTube channel and you can always grab my free crush my negotiations negotiation Prep worksheet@WinMyNegotiation.com Remember that today is a great day to start negotiating your best life and I will definitely catch you in the next episode.

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