Medical Emergencies with Adult Children - Stefanie

Well, family, welcome to the podcast. I mean, there's so many of you in your family, I don't know how to say hi. This is Steph and, and her daughters, and eventually it'll be your whole family, right?

Yeah, it'll be everyone else. I have Haley over here and Hannah over here.

And these are your 2 daughters?

My 2 daughters, yes. I didn't create the big family. I only had 2.

So I meant to look up what podcast episode it was, but we'll have it in the show notes where you were on recently talking about living in a multi-generational household. And today we're having you back on to talk about, you know, like the general everyday chaos of a multi-generational big family household, and then also the unexpected events that happened in the spring of 2023 and how being organized helped you get through those events. And also just because you run the Friday Workbox Club and the Meeting Mastermind, like everybody wants to know. So we're letting everyone know. So Steph, welcome to the podcast again. Go ahead and refresh everybody of who lives in your, I guess, bedroom.

Okay.

And then your daughters and their families. This could take a while.

Everyone get a coffee.

Okay.

So it is me and my husband Adam, and Adam and I have been married for 36 years. And we have the supposedly family dog of Betty, but Betty is now me and Adam's dog pretty much. That's who's in our space. And then you go out of our space a little bit and we have Haley, my daughter, she's my oldest, and her husband Caleb. And we have Paris and Mansion and Olivia and Fran and Lottie and Ike and—

What are the—

a couple guinea pigs, Ace and Spot.

And then outside of the house, she didn't choose to do that one. I don't live here. So we have Hannah, my youngest daughter, and her husband Sean and their new baby Gabe. And then we also have— they also have Spoons, our puppy.

I said to Steph, I was like, okay, you're gonna have to run through all the, all the people and the 18 million animals because I will not keep all of this straight. But that's a pretty typical family. I mean, spouses and pets and kids and siblings and like, like just general family, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

And we talked in the last podcast episode about how you purposely moved into a multi-generational family. And then Hannah, I guess you followed along, right?

Yeah, pretty much.

Yeah.

Well, if you're moving, I'm moving.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. And then also the other thing that we wanted to start with before we go into your story is that, um, you all also have significant roles in your local church. So if you want to go through all of that.

Okay, well, actually, I will let Haley and Hannah talk about their roles in the church, and then I'll talk about mine.

So technically, my role is not a paid role. My husband is the lead pastor of our church. And so one thing that I am really good at in my lane is like creating things and being more of like the visionary and coming up with ideas. So I've created a few ministries within our church, which is our foster care ministry. I just started a homeschool co-op out of our church that's free, which we don't have any of those in our area right now. And then I've also— I helped basically create our kids ministry. Because when we arrived, it was just my kids in that ministry. And so we kind of built on the people that were there before us. And, um, so I'm just voluntarily involved, but I do a lot within kids, um, our foster care ministry, um, and yeah, in our co-op. So—

And she brought us in. That's how it originally started when he got the job here. She was like, well, Adam and I had done children's ministry at our church back home in Louisiana for years since they were babies. And she's like, y'all need to come because for one, I need help with my family and I need help at church in kids ministry. So we came and helped. We were helping with that while we both had our own jobs, but we were just volunteering in that arena. And then later—

Wait, let's do Haley, because if you're listening on the podcast, it's more confusing than if you're watching this on a video. Okay, so that was Haley. So A couple of questions to you, Haley, just so people get a better picture of who you are and your family. So do you mind saying how old you are, how long you've been married, how your children came to be with you, when you came to— you're in South Carolina— when you moved there, all that? Okay.

So Caleb and I have been married this year, 11 years at the end of this year. 11 years at the end of this year. We met in Columbia, South Carolina, at a ministry school. In 2010. We married in 2012. We had our first daughter in 2014, and then we have 4 biological children. When we moved to Hilton Head area, we had 2 kids and I was pregnant, and then so since we moved here, we've added 4 children total to our permanent family. And then we also are licensed foster parents, and so We often have short-term placements come into the home. You know, we have some that come in for a few months at a time and just a couple nights. And then— oh, I'm 32.

I'm 32.

So in my short days of living and our short marriage— 11 years is not that long— we have had lots of kids and Lots of responsibilities. And so it's been good though. It's where we should be. And I actually just got onto a board for the state of South Carolina. It's called the Foster Parent Advisory Council. And so I'm really excited about that. I'll hopefully be able to see some cool changes happen within the state. And so that's another layer of responsibility on my plate.

I love it. And I think it's also a great example, you know, Steph's been on the podcast a couple of times. I obviously have the podcast, but we're in our 50s. And so sometimes when you see people in your 50s, you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But will this work for me? Or how would this apply to life in your 20s and 30s? So, I think it's really impactful that you guys decided to come on the podcast with your mom and share, you know, just life in general, but also last spring's experiences From, you know, someone in their 20s, someone in their 30s, and then of course Steph is in her 50s. So I think it really helps other people who are listening to the podcast hear their own story and your story. So thanks for sharing. All right, Hannah, you want to share about you too?

Yeah.

So I, I am 29 years old. And me and my husband Sean have been married for— it's been— it was 7 years in April. And so we actually met at the same ministry school that Haley and Caleb did, which is Bible too. But We ended up getting married in 2016, and then we worked on the mission field for about 5 years on and off. And so we spent time in China and Costa Rica and Ecuador and really loved that time of life. But towards the end, we felt like we needed to transition home. I started to go through some health issues that we really felt like we kind of needed to settle out back here in the States. And during that time also, we had struggled with infertility. We basically started trying to get pregnant when we got married, but we struggled with infertility until about 12 months ago. So, but I also am a part of the church. I am the Children's Director of our Bluffton campus. We have a Hilton Head campus and a Bluffton campus. And so I'm over the Children's Department in Bluffton. And I love it. It's very fun. It's very chaotic, but it's very fun. And like Haley, my mom said, they've been very intricate parts of like building our ministry to the point of where there was only 3 kids when Haley came, her 3 kids. And now we run with both campuses a little over 100 kids a week. So it's been really cool to see the growth and the change.

And yeah.

That's, um, pretty much it. Oh, and we, we do have our son. His name is Gabe. Um, uh, we'll talk a lot more about him, I'm sure. But, um, he is technically, um, 4 months old now. Um, but he is— they say he's 1 month adjusted since he was born early. Um, so, and he's just the sweetest little baby in the world. He's very cute.

And I'm sure people will want to know, what is the name of your church?

Oh, Christian Renewal Church.

Okay. And you guys are in the Hilton Head, South Carolina area, correct?

Yes. Yes, ma'am.

Hilton Head, Bluffton.

Yep. Hilton Head and Bluffton.

Yeah. I'm nosy. I always want to know like all the details. I'd be like, okay, well, what could that church possibly be? And you'd be like Googling like Caleb South Carolina church. Just save us some time and let us know where your church is. Okay, so this series of podcast episodes really came out of the unexpected event that you guys had in 2023. While it was a huge unexpected event for you, there were so many unexpected events that are happening for so many of the Organized 365 team members. And so let's go back. Now we know who's living in the area, that you all kind of like are transplants to South Carolina and like you're not originally from South Carolina, so you have all each other. But you don't have any other extended family members. And how long have you been in South Carolina?

So, um, we moved here in 2018. So we were from Louisiana. Now, we meaning me and Adam moved here in 2018. We were living in Louisiana for 50 years prior to that. And I had both of my children there. They grew up there. Um, they, you know, graduated from school, all the things, and then they both left at different times. Haley left first. And went to South Carolina for ministry school. And then 3 years later— they are 3 years apart in age— 3 years later, Hannah left for the same ministry school. So they were both out of the house, and Adam and I actually empty nested for about 6 years before we moved here. So, so then in 2018, we moved here. Haley and Caleb had already been in the Hilton Head area. Before that, they were in Columbia. So We, um, we came in pretty much the same year that they moved to Hilton Head. We moved here as well. Um, and so yeah, we've been here 5 years already.

Yeah, I know. What I think is interesting in these podcasts that we've done, because you are also open to share your stories, is, you know, like, so I moved to Cincinnati when Greg and I got married, and Greg's whole family was here at that time, but they've either moved away or passed on. And so now it is Greg and Joey and Abby and the grandbaby and I and his mom. And that, as far as family, that's all that's here in Cincinnati, even though Greg's lived here for, I don't know, 40 years, and I've lived here for 30 years. Like, but as far as when unexpected events come and emergencies come, even though you have, you have a lot of friends in the area, if your family isn't in the area, it can sometimes be a very different experience. Okay. So. Let's start with 2023. Steph, you have outlined so well the cascading story of what happened before, during, and after. I'm just gonna go ahead and eat my popcorn and listen to you guys as you share your story about, you know, life.

Okay. Every—

everyday life. All right.

So starting at the beginning of 2023, um, we did have— we had travel plans for Organized 365. And so there were some things going on where we had some things, some travel to do. And I actually did some travel in January. to Cincinnati. I had done some travel right before in 2022, and then the travel in Cincinnati. And funny thing is, every time I seemed to take a trip, they all—

Yes.

Haley's family, which was the family at home, all would get sick. Somebody would catch something, or she would take in a new placement. And there were lots of interesting situations with all of the new placements. And so, So we had a lot, there was a lot going on each time I left. Although we were always prepared for it, we knew that we were ready to go, but it was fine, you know? So we, after that time when I had, there was another, there were going to be another trip coming up. But before that happened, like a couple of days in March, I would say at mid-March, Haley took in a new placement that was gonna become another permanent placement.

Oh, wow.

So there were 6 children in the house, and then she was taking a number 7. And at the time, Hannah was 5 months pregnant, about 5 months pregnant. And March 22nd was a Wednesday, and I think it was my second Wednesday to take off. I had started taking off on Wednesdays with you.

Yes.

And so it was my second Wednesday to take off, and I was keeping Ike, which is Haley's youngest. And so I had Ike at home, and I get a call from Hannah and she says, So I've been having some back pain, you know, and some other things going on. And I'm just not—

and I'm like, hmm.

I said, it's really too early. I said, maybe just rest, put your feet up, you know, see what's going on. She says, well, I'm going to be calling the doctor and, you know, that kind of thing. And so we— which I'm going to let you start at this point. So I'm going to let Hannah start at this point so she can kind of say what things happened on that day.

So she explained that really calmly, like I was really calm on the phone, but I was actually absolutely panicking.

She's not a panicking child.

I was sobbing on the phone. Um, but after a lot of back and forth, I was at work at this point, so I was like, I don't want to leave work. It was just all, you know. And so I called her, I called my husband, and everybody was like, just go and get checked out, because I am like hypochondriac to the max, and I wasn't gonna calm down until I knew it was fine. Which I'm so glad I'm like that at this point in life. Um, so, um, so I did say, yeah, I Yeah, she came pick me up.

With Ike. Now I still have Ike with me, the 3-year-old.

We still have a 3-year-old with us. So we go ahead and head to the hospital. When I get into the hospital, which is in our city, the one we went to. And so we get there and they hook me up to all the little machines and they're like, well, you're not contracting. Everything looks fine. They did the ultrasound. Gabe was good. No problems. I was like, okay, must just be me being weird. And so after about About an hour or 30 minutes maybe. It was, um, the doctor came in— felt like an hour. The doctor came in to check me out, and when she checked me out, she was like, oh, you are 3 centimeters dilated. And I was like, is that normal? I was freaking out. And she was like—

and they didn't let me in the room because I had Ike with me and they were at school, so I didn't have her.

So yes, and my husband was at work, so we were all kind of chaotic around the place. So after, after we realized I was 3 centimeters dilated, they came in and were very like, okay, this is about to move fast. We're calling an ambulance. You're going to Charleston because that was the closest hospital that had a NICU that could prepare, be prepared for a 26-week baby that was being born. And so, and at this point, I started having actual contractions. Oh my gosh. Um, I started— I was actually in pain. Um, and so after, um, after a couple minutes of that, they gave me a magnesium drip and they were giving me the steroid shots and all the things, and everybody was running in and out. I called my husband and I'm like, you need to come here right now, they're sending me to Charleston. And they load me up in an ambulance. Um, it's about a 2-hour ride. Actually, on the ride I call My sister here, Haley, getting my nails done. She was getting her nails done by this point.

I'm being a doula.

So she's talking me through the very rapidly increasing contractions. By the time we got to the hospital, I was a minute apart.

Well, wait, let's stop right there. There's something you need to know about Hannah before we move any further for this whole pregnancy part. She's the one that will do anything not to have pain, whereas Haley, I'll take pain just to have whatever I need to have. And so for Hannah, she ended up being— when Haley had her first baby, she had come in from China, 12 hours, was on an opposite schedule, and she and I were both in the delivery room for Liv. And she watched the whole process, and she asked us during it, why would you ever think this was a good idea for me to be in here? It was a, it was a very rough event for her, and that was 9 years ago. And so that's always played in her mind since then as to how am I going to do when I finally do get pregnant and have to go through the delivery and everything else. And so there hadn't— hasn't been a lot of discussion because we didn't want to stress her out. We were going to wait a little bit longer before we talked to her more about it. So now we are back in the ambulance and the ambulance is driving her very slowly, I might add, because I was following.

I caught up with the baby still. You still have the 3-year-old?

No, so at this point, okay, so that's— yeah, that's important. Okay, we have to decide all of a sudden, okay, we have to go to Charleston, 2 hours away, we have to go to Charleston. I'm going to go be there with her. Sean was going on her way to be there with her. I have the baby. Haley's like, okay, meet me part of the way and I'm going to pick up the baby. But then we also had the dog. We knew that she was going to be overnight, so I had to go run and get her dog. We swapped out everything that we needed to swap out, took the baby, took the dog. Meanwhile, Ike, the whole time I had Ike, only wanted to be held. 3 years old, and I had to run around, so I'm out of breath by the time I get to Haley. And so give her all of that, and I leave. And so now Haley has all of home to worry about, plus an extra animal, an extra heartbeat, as you would say.

Okay, side note, side note. The medical institution with the ambulance did not move as fast as the middle-aged grandma shuttling dogs and children, still riding the bumper of the ambulance. You should just let us drive the ambulance.

Yeah, thank you. Well, I mean, it's something done. Yeah, right. Ambulance is not only like moving slowly, they kept telling me, because I said, can we turn the lights on or something? And they're like, no, that will just stress you out more. I was like, ma'am, I'm already stressed out. I just need you to turn these lights on and move it. Um, because she passed the ambulance, my husband—

So the lights of the ambulance were not on?

No, they didn't turn on the lights. They didn't do anything. So, and at this point, my husband made it to Charleston almost 40 minutes before we did, which— and that's a whole nother thing. He was running because the MUSC hospital is a campus. So he's running around the campus trying to figure out—

Trying to find you.

Which hospital are we going to here? Luckily, he sent me a message and said, hey, it's this hospital. After I had already gotten to the first one, because I was starting to do the same thing. I went to the wrong one, and then he sent me another place. I was able to get there.

So—

Just FYI, medical things— nothing medical happens fast, by the way. In case you're in that season and you're like ready to go, it's not fast.

It's not. It's very slow. Um, but once we made it to the hospital, they got me up into the room, and, um, they actually— because Haley was preparing me— listen, you're not gonna get an epidural. You're not gonna have time. You're gonna have to deliver naturally, but you can do it. It's gonna be okay. And that's my worst fear because again, I'm a big baby and I don't want pain.

So I was like, shoot me up with the epidural as fast as you can.

Um, and actually when I got in the room, the first thing they said to me was, do you want an epidural? And I almost cried. I said, yes, please. Yes, right now. And they got me the epidural in time. I was so grateful.

Um, well, and just to say for that, it was about A 5-hour period from the time she started feeling contractions to the time she was ready to deliver. Yeah. So, and then, and they're 2 hours away.

And so, and by the time we made it to the hospital, I was delivering him within 40 minutes. So it was a very quick— and, and the whole labor was only 20, I think 20 minutes, um, that I was like pushing, um, actively in the delivery room. In the delivery room. Yeah. And so, um, So once Gabe was born, we actually— they have what they call a STAB team, and it's a whole team for a premature baby. And so they basically just whisked the baby away. He apparently was put on my chest for just a millisecond, but I honestly— I'm going to be real honest— I don't, I don't remember it at all. I was such in a blur. My husband said it happened, so I believe him, but I don't remember it happening. And they were kind of helping me get situated afterwards. And so we didn't really know what was going on with him. They didn't want us in the room. They didn't want us seeing, just in case things got rougher. And so after I was all settled, they moved us out of the OR and back into our room, which was where my mom was waiting. And then after that, we had one of his doctors come in. And that was very rough. He was very distraught. We could tell he had been crying, um, and it was very overwhelming to see him come in. He basically explained to us that, um, Gabe had been unresponsive for 20 minutes. He had no oxygen to his brain for 20 minutes. And so at this point, we go from like, okay, like he's early, he could have some lung development problems, and now we're more worried about, um, like life.

Brain.

If he's gonna— yeah, if he's surviving at this point. And if he does survive, what is his life even going to be like if he had no oxygen to his brain for 20 minutes? So lots of things going on in our head. This doctor, we, we had a hard time at first because I was like, I'm sorry, sir, but you need to get yourself together because we are not together right now.

Yeah, but I have to say, for this part, I was so— for when he came in, now it's a whole team that's in the room with us. He's talking.

He's—

he purposely left his mask on because I think he did not want us to see his facial expressions because he was very upset and he was— and they were becoming very traumatized. So I'm watching Hannah and Sean, very impressed, because at this point most parents would be like losing it.

Losing it.

And yes, and they were very much— thank you, thank you very much for being so honest. Tears are rolling, but they're not. They're just, thank you so much for being honest. And they're, and they're holding it together. And at that time, and, and I do know that the doctor, um, he, he was a resident. Um, I think, you know, he was an upper level that was talking to us, but he, I'm sure having seen it, I mean, there's still, there's still a lot of feeling. And so I completely get that there's a lot of feeling and he was having a hard time. Um, I do wish that they could have waited just a little bit longer before they came in because I think that was the most traumatizing experience that day because When he walked out, right at first, the thought was, I know for me, I don't know that he's gonna make it. I don't think he's gonna make it.

Yeah, we, we did. At that point, we thought like death was probable. Um, and that, that was a hard realization. But then the, like, the attending doctor came in afterwards, probably like 5 minutes later. Yeah, super fast. She was definitely more like, this is the reality. And it's going to be a very long road, but like, we, we can't— we have seen babies survive, and so we, we have hope. But I am telling you now that it's going to be a long road, and we do not know what his future basically will hold. And so again, lots of hard information. And then at this point, they said, we can wheel him in for just a second, and then we're gonna have to shoot him up to the NICU as fast as we can, because I think they were concerned about if he would make it to the floor. The NICU floor, which again was traumatizing. Um, so after he— they wheeled him in, we looked at him for literally, it felt like just half a second, and then they took him out. Which, that's hard too because you go through the emotions of like everyone else's birthing story is you get to hold your baby and cuddle them and feed them and stuff like that. Um, and we had already had such a hard story with infertility, so it was all around A very, very cruddy day.

It just didn't seem fair.

It was the—

it didn't, it didn't seem fair. Um, but, um, that after, um, after a couple hours they got me settled into a room. Um, this whole time, uh, my husband and I think you at this point hadn't eaten all day. I was starving. Everyone was starving and about to pass out. And so she was like, all right, we need to get food first. And so, um, we got some dinner and then once they got him settled in the NICU, me and my husband We're able to go. And I remember our NICU nurse the first night. I will never forget her. She was actually with him his second to last night in the NICU. She hadn't been with him the whole time except for that first night and the second to last night. And I remember seeing her and just sobbing at the end.

Her name was Sarah, right?

No, not Sarah. Sarah was my nurse.

Oh, okay. Sarah.

Great. But she let us go in and she was so sweet. Like, he was obviously in very critical condition. Probably like shouldn't have allowed us to do all the things she allowed us to do, but she let us put our hands in, she let us touch him. She said, you need to be touching your baby within hours of delivery. And she's like, I'm not going to allow you to go back up and go to bed without like touching your baby, which was really sweet. And, and it was hard, you know, he— a premature baby obviously is very small, very underdeveloped, so Me and my husband used to laugh and say he had lizard ears because he just had little holes on the side of his head. And so it was, it was hard to see him like that. Um, and just the reality, I think, set in a little bit more. Um, but, um, like, how far do you want me to share here?

Okay, so I'm gonna stop you there. So how many weeks gestation were you and how big was he when he was born?

So I was 26 weeks and 6 days, so it was almost 27 weeks. And he was 2 pounds and 11 ounces.

So, so I'm gonna pull us back to the Organize 365 story, because what I think is interesting about these podcast interviews is we know that home life is unexpected and is hard. And we know we have jobs to do. But these podcast episodes really intertwine like what it means to be working with real humans, and how family and work life gets Intertwined. So because the Organized 365 team is small and we do know a lot about each other's personal lives, like we knew you were in labor like before you got to Charleston. Like we, we knew, like as your mom's driving and apparently shuttling dogs everywhere— these animals are killing me, Steph— dogs and babies and coordinating the world's affairs while the ambulance is driving without the lights on, Organized 365 became aware. That you were in labor, didn't know that they were not even going to be able to stop it at all. Like, we knew nothing other than you were in labor, which is often what has happened in each of these stories. Our team has been made aware there's an emergency, but we don't get any follow-up or resolution to the emergency for quite a while later, which is totally fine with an employer. You don't need to inform your employer, but we are all so close and we're all mothers. So we're all Googling 26 weeks gestation. Like, we're all Googling, we're all seeing the stats. We all know, know where this is going. And obviously we were all praying. But it is from a team member perspective, and then from an employer perspective, you start to think like, okay, this is employee number 3 out of 6 who are going to be taken out of the travel schedule, the work schedule. Obviously, I completely overreacted because I just didn't know. Steph says, yeah, you totally overreacted. I'm like, yeah, but if it went the other way, I underreacted. So I completely overreacted because this is like a Wednesday, right? You said it was Wednesday night.

Wednesday.

And all I could think of is Steph runs the Friday Workbox. It's all I could think of. And everybody's supposed to be traveling. And I already know that Monique's daughter is unresponsive, which you've heard that story. And Virginia has stopped traveling and like I already know all these other players are out of the game, so I don't even have a player to put in. I'm like, okay, so clearly I'm running the Friday Workbox Club. So I'm boxering back. I'm like, don't worry about it. I'm running the Friday Workbox Club the next 2 weeks. That's why you guys got me running the Friday Workbox Club. And it ended up being a great thing because it was the end of the quarter and I really loved the workboxes that I ran. But I was like, what can I do as the employer? Okay, I could take over your forward-facing responsibilities because all the behind-the-scenes stuff either just won't get done or somebody else will do it. No big deal. But we need to run the club. And I said, do whatever it takes. We'll hear from you a week from Monday. Well, because I said it that way, and you, Steph, are a better employee than I am employer, you knew that, like, great, so she's got it covered. I'm gonna focus on my family. And then when Gabe was okay and things were resolving in that way, I had already said, like, I won't see you for 10 days, which was great on your side. It allowed you to do a lot of things, but I had put a lot of balls on my plate. That I didn't necessarily need to take. And, and we've had a conversation about this since then because you've been a COO. Like, you, you know that I overreacted, but also it was beneficial to your family that I did. And I think that that is never talked about, like the fact that we over- and underreact in the employment, uh, based on what the emergency is at home. Because either the emergency at home doesn't get talked about in the work place, and the workplace doesn't know how to respond to the employees. So it's not part of this unexpected event, but last summer we had someone have a heart attack, and I drove them to the hospital. Like, then we put policies in place. The CEO does not drive employees, no matter how good of friends they are, to the hospital in her car while they're having a heart attack. I mean, like, you just don't think of these things. I'm so used to reacting as the friend, the wife, the mother, not the employee, the manager, or the employee.

You know what I mean?

Like, we just— women especially, our lives are just one big ball of yarn, and we just do. Like, you were literally taking care of a dog while your daughter was in labor 13 weeks early. Like, we just do. And it's very different than how the masculine business world has been set up. We're just very much this, you know, Hodgepodginess. So I just wanna say that's what happened on the Organized 365 end, and that is when I went, and that's it. I'm not going to run a booth at South Carolina. I will go, I will speak. Tanya and I will run the paper organizing retreat. I just cannot even. And people later were like, well, we would have volunteered, whatever. Like, I couldn't even handle any more complexity. I didn't have any more time to figure out how to reorganize the puzzle that I'd redone 4 times. I was like, throw the puzzle away. We're done with the puzzle. We will do it again another time. Okay, now that's just a little side note. Now back to— go ahead. What was that first week like? What was that first month like? How did that impact all the different households? Okay, you're back.

Well, the first— yeah, first week in the world, you know, she's got— she— I'm on the phone with her at our homeschool co-op having a panic attack. Then that evening we're thinking like, and you know, he's not gonna make it. I've got 6 children plus a bonus kid who we find out later, um, had a court hearing the following day. So on the Thursday after my sister delivered my first nephew from her early, and I've got to go to court with this kid and— God love them, but I was like, I don't— we're not gonna make—

we're—

I don't know how we're gonna do this. And so at that point, one of my good friends, you know, the courthouse is probably 40 minutes closer to Charleston. And so a friend of mine was like, let me come pick you up and drive you over there. And I was like, yes, I would love that. And so she drives me 2 hours while my mom is 20 minutes ahead of us, but she just wanted to drive. She wanted to do it. She wanted to do it for me.

She wanted to be there and let her talk and let her— let her be a good friend.

And so, you know, all we've got, all that chaos over there, and then your first week in the NICU is the week that we finalized the adoption for our 2 big boys. So she wasn't able to be there for that big event, which I know was hard for her, but at the same time, like, she's got her own stuff that she's struggling with and, and Gabe that she's trying to, you know, make sure he's healthy and Yeah, anyway.

And so, yeah, and so she's, she's trying to do those things but also hold together, making sure we're letting everyone know what's going on. So I had a million text groups, she had a million text groups, and we were trying to keep it from her having to have any.

So you're talking about Haley, and then you're keeping—

Yes, Haley. I'm sorry. Yes, thank you.

Think podcast, think podcast.

Yes, I should know this, right? Haley had a million text groups, and I and Stephanie, I had a million text groups. And so we are trying to make sure that we're taking care of letting all these people know everything. And then at the same time, she thinks through that even further because she's thinking, I have all these kids, we need to make sure that she's taken care of. And so she starts, she starts handling not only the communication but dealing with everybody saying, what can I do, what can I do, what can I do? And she is—

We did a virtual baby shower for Hannah. And I was able to email out for everyone that was going to be invited to it. I sent out all the registry needs and I was able to organize, um, what, DoorDash for you?

Yeah.

And I mean, we got everything that they could have needed or wanted for Gabe in that first few weeks. Some people donated financially because they were going to be having time off of work, um, and that whole thing. So that's kind of From my end, yeah, I was trying to help with that portion of it because I wanted to be there with Hannah and Sean, but I knew that I couldn't because I also have 6, 7 kids, the animals, you know, I'm homeschooling 4 of the 7 children. Um, so actually 5.

Yeah, at that point I was.

Um, and so navigating that stuff, and she didn't have me, so, so—

Right, she lost all childcare.

Right. So what happens is during the day she doesn't necessarily need me, but the evenings she is running kids to work and she's doing all these different things. And so I'm not there anymore. Now my husband is still here, so he still helps with some things, but one adult falling off in that large family group can be, can be tough, you know. And so there's nobody for her to lean on.

2 adults, because I depended on you and Hannah.

Yes, a lot. So we were both gone. I was driving every day. And so I would drive there in the morning and drive home in the evening. And, um, and then my friend from, from back home in Louisiana, um, she contacted me and said, I don't want you driving every day. So she got an Airbnb for me to stay over there. So I was—

And that was genius. I mean, I wish I'd have thought of it. So you were driving 2 hours each way, so 4 hours a day.

Yeah.

Um, so the Airbnb saved you 4 hours a day, but also just Well, I think it did a couple of things. One, it saved you all that driving and maintained your energy. But, but 2, if you're not actually in the house where all the people are, they can't possibly rely on you. So, it gave you a, well, I can't do it. So then you would focus more on Hannah and whatever you could focus on. But also, it came you out of it, kept you out of going home and potentially getting sick and then taking that back. And then that would've been disastrous. Right.

Yes. Yeah, and, and for me, I was feeling, you know, all types of ways of like, obviously we're in the most emotional state of our lives. We were, you know, we moved into the Ronald McDonald House, the charity house, which is amazing for everyone to hear. That is the most amazing charity in the world. They took care of us for 3 months. We stayed there free of charge. They fed us. It was absolutely incredible, but They, um, once we got into there, I was dealing with the emotions of Gabe, but also all the emotions of, you know, Haley finalizing her adoption with the boys that we loved and we wanted to be a part of it. And, you know, Sean, we talked about, well, maybe we'll just go and come back, but then felt leaving him, leaving Gabe in any, in any capacity— we were, I mean, we were staying in the hospital from 6 AM to 9 PM every day because we just couldn't, like— And we were doing nothing there. We were just sitting there, you know, we were just sitting in his room kind of watching him, but it just felt like not being there was wrong. And so we were dealing with all that emotion of it, and then even just the overwhelming of people being so kind, getting us all the things. My, my Cash App was filled. I mean, people were just sending us all this financial support. They were like covering, wanting to cover our bills and Things like that. And it was, it was so sweet, but like so overwhelming. We just didn't even know what to do with all the emotions that were happening.

Just say thank you and move on.

Exactly, exactly.

Pretty much it. With that, having the Airbnb, what was helpful was, um, like Wednesdays I would go spend the day at the hospital with, with them. That would give Shawn a little bit of freedom to do some other things, that she had somebody with her. But then the evenings were the big thing. When they could leave in the evening and come over to the Airbnb, I had their dog. So they have a dachshund.

And we love our dog. Our dog is basically our first child. So that was the other thing that was killing me because I got— we got that dog in like a lot of our infertility stuff. And so he was my baby. And so I— the first thing I said when I was in the ambulance was, is someone going to get Spoons? Please make sure Spoons is okay.

Which is why I'm running around with Spoons and she's running around with Spoons.

Because I love that dog. I love that dog to death.

And so that's so So that month was probably a really nice month for me because during the day I had just me and Spoons and I was able to work every day and not have an issue with it. They'd come over in the evenings and be able to see Spoons, have a little piece of home, the fact that I was there and they weren't on an island by themselves, you know.

Right.

Um, and so it gave them all of that, but yet I could still do what I needed to do working remotely. I was able to, actually, I was able to work more because Nobody was there, you know. I was out, 7 kids, and, you know, one certain time hits in the evening, it's like, oh, let me in. Um, so it was, it was a really, it was a really good month, and I, I still felt like I was present for her, but I didn't feel guilty about trying to take off a bunch more work or anything like that. And it gave them the time, and they were able to take off too. So I mean, the church was very gracious with them as far as for time.

I don't think I mentioned this, in my part earlier, but Sean is actually our media director at the church. So me and Sean were both— are both employed by the church. So they just lost 2 employees. And so they actually gave— and we were going into Easter. So Easter is like our Super Bowl, right? So everyone was kind of like, you guys are fine. But I knew everyone was dying, panicking.

Similar, similar. You know, Haley here, by the way, podcast listeners, similar to what you're saying though, on the employer side of things.

Yep.

The feeling like you want to take care of them from like an emotional standpoint. And obviously being a church, like there is that like a relationship aspect that you think about. And so like everyone was like, we've got it covered, we've got it handled. Um, and meanwhile we're all like, what are we gonna do?

How are we gonna get this handled?

Yes, yes. Well, and so what they did was we were 2— we were 2 weeks out of Easter, so we still had some time. So they gave Sean the full 2 weeks to not leave to be there with me. Um, but for Easter Sunday, they were like, we really need you to come. Back you come. And he was like, listen, totally get it. But the problem was, because I was missing for Easter Sunday, she and my dad and Haley all had to cover areas for me. So I was then alone. Oh, for Easter Sunday. With Gabe. Um, which I tried to think of it as like, well, at least It's Gabe's first Easter and we're gonna make it as special as we can. And the nurses in the NICU were so kind. They brought me gifts and they, you know, everyone said happy Easter and they said happy Easter to Gabe and it was very sweet. Um, but at— so during the month that my mom was staying, Sean then had to start going back and forth to work. Um, he had to go twice a week.

Yeah.

Um, and so for me it was—

Service nights, Wednesdays, weekends.

Yeah. It was really nice that she was there during that time because then I wasn't alone in Charleston. Um, cuz eventually we did get to the point because our stay was 3 months. Um, we got to the point after she had to leave once the Airbnb was done.

But that worked out perfect too, because, well, Wednesday weekend. So weekends, even in the Airbnb, I went home every Saturday morning, came back every Sunday evening because we did her part at church on Sundays.

I did my job.

Yeah, we did Hannah's job because, so my husband does set up and tear down for kids ministry for her in Bluffton. And, and then I help her do setup and teardown, and I do coordinating and other things, whatever she needs. I did some teaching while we were there, just depends on what, what was needed at the time. And so I would come home on the weekends and do that too. So most of the time she was getting left by herself on the weekends. But there were some that we could kind of swap out. But Wednesdays, Shawn would leave and I would go. And so that was, that was helpful that I could go over there on Wednesday and I just drive home on Wednesday. So yeah, it also gave me that I had, and if I couldn't go on Sunday, I was going on Saturday so I could have the Wednesday and the Saturday to go bring whatever she needed, come home. And as a mom, it made me feel better that I could be there for her, you know.

Yep.

And Haley also made the trip a couple times with all the kids. Drum roll. And we, we partied. But, but it was nice because having them come was for me a break. I could— like, I— they got me to leave the hospital, um, got me out of the bubble, um, because, you know, you just—

you—

and I was so in the bubble that, like, I was like, man, the cafeteria food's really good, you know?

Like, I was just like—

We gotta get her out of here. Just trying to make it as happy as possible.

It's macaroni and cheese day.

There were some days that had a really good—

they did have a really good day.

They did.

But, um, nice little water view on the roof.

Yes, it was. Honestly, the Children's Hospital at MUSC is absolutely beautiful and was a great place. If you had to be at any hospital for that extended amount of time, I was very grateful that we were there. But so as far as what came to Gabe's health, the first 2 weeks were— or the first week was a little rough, a little stressful, just because the doctors would come in with this laundry list of things. And so at that point, I got a notebook. I started writing things down. That's actually when we first started working on the medical binder because we wanted to make sure we had a good history of him. And so that's when, like, she started bringing binders.

Medical— it was like this, the second or third day I brought the journal for her to start writing in. And then the next week I brought a Warrior Mama binder and a medical binder. So she had both over there. So whatever was in there, she could be able to ask questions and do those kinds of things.

And I had a lot of time to fill them out.

Yes.

Um, but, um, Gabe actually in his first week of life just like kind of blew everyone away. He was on, he was on what they call an oscillator ventilator the first night, and the oscillator is like a more intense version of a ventilator, and it actually like causes like the baby to shake, like they kind of move like this. So it was very stressful seeing him and like, uh, what is this? Um, but He was off of the oscillator ventilator within a day, on a regular ventilator for just a day, and then on the CPAP, which they were expecting him to be intubated for a long time. So they were very blown away. Obviously, we had a whole church praying for him. The first night he was born was actually our weekly prayer gathering that we do on Wednesday nights, and they stopped everything and everybody in the church prayed for him. Um, me and Sean watched online and just sat in our beds and cried. Honestly, it was very, it's very beautiful but very sad. But I truly believe that there was a lot of healing that happened in him in that first week. And so honestly, after the first 2 weeks, we were less fearful. And at that time, we found out that with his brain activity, um, there really wasn't much of a brain bleed, and it was kind of like nothing was happening. Um, which again was a huge miracle because of the trauma that he suffered during his birth. And then, so after those first 2 weeks, we were kind of just like, okay, he's gonna make it. Like, we knew he was gonna survive. We knew that much. And we're like, okay, we can do this. And then as he started getting a little older, we could tell that his quality of life wasn't going to be, I think, what we were expecting it to be because of how he— his responsiveness. Like, he began to look around, And, and move more, and he wasn't so jumpy. And, and, um, and so, um, as the weeks passed, it turned into more of like— it was less fear of him not surviving and more of kind of regulating our own emotions of this is just like exhausting living here, um, and doing— this is what we're doing every day now, and we're doing it until his due date pretty much, which was June 22nd. So this started March 22nd. His due date wasn't until June 22nd. And so I think we just kind of made the realization of like, this is gonna be pretty exhausting. Um, and yeah, it was. Um, but, um, he ended up getting off all respiratory support, um, before— at the end of May. Um, actually, at Mother's Day.

Yeah.

Was when he got off of all respiratory support. And so it was really cool because again, Totally unexpected. They, they said that rarely do 26-weekers not get sent home on oxygen or something like that, but he was fully off of everything by Mother's Day. Um, but he decided he wanted to stay longer because he doesn't like to eat his own food. He liked the tube and he was lazy.

But, you know, you didn't notice any of the men running around putting the dogs anywhere.

Exactly.

We love you, men.

But he, um, he did, um, he, he was just slow and steady when it came to the eating process. So we actually didn't leave the hospital until June 26th was his official, like, release date from the NICU. But during that last month of June, we made some really good relationships with our staff there and his nurses. We had a primary nurse who was wonderful, um, that we still keep in touch with. Every time we have to go to Charleston, she comes and sees us. And even the doctor's staff, I think what was really cool was for his last month there, the doctors who were on his rotation for like when they would round and come and see us were the same doctors that delivered him.

Aww.

And so they got to see full circle. And we had a lot of full circle moments with some of the doctors, the nurses. I had people coming in from his delivery that were like, I've been looking for Gabe. Like, it's a very big NICU floor. And so they were looking for him because they remembered him and they wanted to check on him and see how he was doing. And they were like, I read his report and we just can't believe how far he's come. Um, and so even though it was a very long stay, it was very— I, I think that last month was really cool because it was like we got to see a lot of the redemptive side of it. And, and people got to see that Gabe really was a miracle.

Um, and we had not only our church here praying, but our church Crossroads back home in Louisiana. We had so many family and friends. I know the Organized 365 team were praying. I mean, we— all the people in Colombia where they were before, there were so many people praying. And that was the one thing she kept reminding all of the doctors as they came in when they were like, amazing, he's doing amazing. And she was like, because I have 800 people praying, you know, it is God.

And I know, I mean, I'm not a doctor, but I have studied early childhood and I mean, I'm obsessed with babies, you know that. And so, I mean, I just couldn't believe, like, within 10 days I was like, I cannot— it's, it's, it's like you had a full-term baby that just had to stay there. I could not believe how positive the results were. I mean, it just is truly— I've never seen anything like it.

Yeah, it really was. Every day, every day we got good news. We never— I don't, I don't think we ever really had a day where it was like Mm-hmm. We had days where maybe he would regress a little bit, but it was never anything that was so concerning that we were like, oh my goodness, this is— I remember my friend had actually just had a premature baby as well, and she joined this Facebook group, and so she added me to it because she said it was really good for her to just have support. And I remember reading their stories on that group thinking like, we are so lucky.

so blessed.

Yes.

Because some people in that journey, they, they say the NICU is, um, the NICU is like, uh, they always say, I think, one step forward and 3 steps back. Like, you, you think you're getting, and then you're like, okay, you're really regressing now. And so, um, so I think that, um, it was very eye-opening to see other people's stories. And even I met a few families that were also staying at the Ronald McDonald Charity House that had babies in there because there was like a support group. And so even getting to hear some of their stories were really just heartbreaking but also encouraging. And, but I know too, like, even for, for with the chaos back home, not only were they managing all of the family stuff, but they were also managing a lot of my job during that time and took on a big brunt for me when it comes to work. Just because obviously of Haley's involvement with the church and my mom's past work with children's ministry and stuff. And so for me, that was also a huge relief because I was so concerned that everything— like, my whole life just kind of felt like it was blowing up. So I was very concerned and stressed, but they really did manage a lot of the stress back here and helped me get myself organized enough so that when I get home Like, I got home to a fully stocked nursery. I got all the furniture made, everything. Like, the house cleaned right before we got home. Like, we— so we came home to, like, calm and not chaos, which we thought was— we're going to come home to. So, so that was really great as well.

And we had a lot of other people helping along the way too, just to mention. Like, we had customers of Organized 365. So Lisa Tarr was one of them. She is a physical therapist, but she owns a physical therapy company, and she's constantly communicating with her of, well, do you, you know, have any questions? Is there anything I can help with? Then I ran into somebody carrying a portable Sunday basket at MUSC right at the beginning.

Oh yeah.

So that was Lee Horton, and she was in— she works at MUSC. And so she would constantly check in on Hannah and check in on Gabe and make sure everybody was doing okay. And the people in the Friday Workbox Club, they asked Every week.

Housegate.

Housegate. So many people, so caring, so helpful. I mean, it was really, it was really, really good. And it's, it's a lot like all of the foster families and things that you deal with, that caring and that helpful community, people coming together and helping with all of these things. I mean, without your community— and you mentioned that earlier— all of the rest of our extended family is all at home. My mom, my dad, my, my siblings, my, you know, my husband's family. They're all still back in Louisiana. And so having the rest of the community that we've, that we've gained here has been very, very important and very good for us.

Because Haley had a lot of people step in for her because we were out of the picture. And so especially in the, with their, like the fostering community, basically, like she has a good friend that also has 8,000 foster children.

I don't know how many kids she has now, but currently I'm not sure. Maybe she has 6 to 10.

Yeah, we don't know. But she really, she She really filled in the gap along with many other, many other people in the Community that just were like, okay, what do you need? Do you need us to come watch the kids? Do you need us? You know, and kind of just took everything, as much as they could take off her plate so she could take more off of my plate, basically is what was going on. So it was really cool to have a lot of camaraderie in a lot of, in a lot of chaos that was going on.

And we have a lot of tools that we've used too. Yeah. We should probably mention that. I mean, all 3 of us have, all of our households have Sunday baskets. And Friday work boxes and education work boxes and binders.

I feel like I need to say this. I am—

Haley.

Haley.

Okay, I am the least organized of the bunch. I prefer just to fly by the seat of my pants. That is my nature. I also had late ADHD diagnosis, um, I guess it was like a year ago now, a little over a year ago. Um, dyslexia as a kid, Did not get diagnosed with ADHD until this last year or so. And so like all of these systems and tools, for me it was always like, oh, that's good for you, I'm glad it works for you, no way it's gonna work for me though. And it did take more time for me to—

A lot more time.

And I don't do everything perfectly, and I'm constantly going, am I using that right?

It's not perfect.

Is this how I'm supposed to use it?

But it has helped me, and every— I know we're not talking about homeschooling right now, but But that's what I'm focusing on right now because we're going— getting into the school year, and so that's what's on my brain. But even with that, like, each year I've been able to tweak it and get it to fit our— put systems in place that work for our lives, but still utilizing the tools in the way that they were meant to be utilized.

And just to give an example of what she did, like, with the Sunday basket, she got the Sunday basket and then forever she kept it under her cabinet and inside of here.

Before I actually put it on top of my counter, because I didn't want to see it, because I didn't want to have to—

because if I saw it, I had to deal with it.

And it's like what they call it, the visual noise.

Visual noise.

Want to see. But now obviously it's on my counter and my kids know. I'll call— I called one of them today and said, hey, I could not find your birth certificate. It is not in the Sunday basket and it's not in your binder. Where the heck is it? I need you to go look. And so So he said, where's the binder? I said, under the Sunday basket, under the cabinet where the Sunday basket is. And he found it within seconds. I just was panicked looking.

He was like, it was in the binder.

And I was like, oh yeah, where it's supposed to be.

But I mean, that you have a kid that can help find a birth certificate for you. I mean, like, how does anybody do that? Like, normally it's like, okay, well, I guess I'm not going anywhere today while I tear my house apart trying to find this birth certificate. So you can go to school or get your driver's license or go to camp or whatever they need that piece of paper for.

And my mom has always been really good about like calling, hey, I need you to get this for me. It's in this drawer in this spot in the, in the back. And I was like, I'm never gonna be that mom. That's, there's, I can't be. It's not possible.

But I still store things in my mom's safe because she doesn't have her own safe.

Well, I do have my safe.

If your mom lived with you, that was a great solution.

Yeah.

But if you just live with me, And then tell me where all my stuff is.

Where do I put my things? But yeah.

And for, for me, I use the Sunday basket at home, but I also use the Friday work box. I use it at my job, and I have— I even used parts of it when I was there in Charleston to keep things rolling from my side of it. I did have someone able to come in and fill my spot for about a month or two and do my like administrative work. But she ended up— she ended up moving about a month and a half into our stay in Charleston, which was another chaos thing. Um, but I was able to keep my work organized from where I was by using that tool. And then my Sunday basket has been really wonderful with dealing with Gabe's appointments, insurance, all that stuff, because what would happen was You know, they call me and they schedule an appointment and then they call me back 5 minutes later and say I need to reschedule that appointment. And it's like with all of his 18 appointments a week. And so having the Sunday basket, I would just write them down and throw them in there and then I could let them leave my brain, which has been really good for me because I am— I'm more naturally like her, like her mom.

Yeah.

Yes, thank you. Like my mom. I'm more naturally like my mom. And so I do have more of that organized lean. But I do, I have a lot in my head all the time. I'm always thinking about something. And so I noticed that when I had to add on all this extra load, I didn't have any room for this load.

Right.

And I was forgetting everything. And just with this one little baby, I had so much more that I had to remember. And I remember, I don't know if I said it to Haley or my mom at one point, but I said, I don't know how Haley survives with With 6 of these things because I am barely surviving with one. And so my Sunday basket has been a huge help to that. And then I have a portable basket that I actually put my, my 2 binders in for Gabe. And so I can bring those with us to our appointments and stuff because they always have— we have to track everything he does. So I have to remember all these little details. And so having everything in one place has been so helpful. And so good for For my mental space, for my mental health in a lot of ways.

And Haley's our creative, so without her we wouldn't have any of the other stuff.

Everything would look ugly.

Yes, Haley does all the things.

So you should like the color I put in the systems then.

You know, I'm not a color person.

Wait, what?

No, I'm not.

No, she's not. Don't let her shirt fool you right now. She's not colorful.

Yeah.

She's pretty black and white.

But also, Hannah, I mean, like, aren't you exhausted? He's not sleeping, right? Like, it's really just 1 month.

Yeah, I, you know, I was laughing the other day because everyone, you know, tells you, um, before you have a baby— so for any, um, pregnant moms listening, if you haven't had a baby yet, they're gonna tell you you're gonna be so exhausted, but you do not understand what it means to be exhausted. And so you're truly not sleeping because I I thought I was prepared because when I, when I was pregnant too, I did have a lot of back pain throughout almost my whole pregnancy. So I had a lot of hard— I had a hard time sleeping. I bought all the pillows and all the things, and, you know, my dog wanted to be right on top of me while I was sleeping. And so I thought, oh yeah, this is what it's going to be like. I'm not sleeping. But man, was that garbage. I just— I am not sleeping right now. Um, and my—

You're so coherent for this podcast interview. I'm so impressed. It's been an hour.

Yeah, my, my husband though is, um, I can sleep through a lot more. Um, Gabe, Gabe has a lot of, he grunts a lot. Um, apparently that's a premature thing that babies do that sometimes. They actually called him Grunty Gabe in the NICU because he would, they would hear him from his room like all the time. And so, um, I can sleep through the grunts because he's fine, he's sleeping, he just grunts. That's just what he does. Um, I can sleep through the grunts. My husband can hear like a pin drop. When he's sleeping. And so I had to start kicking him out of the room at night. Go sleep somewhere else because I need you awake during the day. I need you to go and sleep so we can all do this together. Um, but, um, but honestly, he has been going longer stretches and we've been getting more rest. So last night I got a good 4 hours under my belt. So I'm feeling wonderful.

I, I did not sleep through the night until maybe 9 months ago.

From 2014 until about 9 months ago, I have not had a full night's sleep.

And I've been getting a full night's sleep for the last like 9 months, here and there waking up. And I'm like, wow, is this what normal people feel like? Normal functioning adults have normal brains like this?

It's incredible. It is incredible. The sleep deprivation is such a killer. So, I mean, the writing things down, it's, it's not that you can't remember things, It's that you can't remember things. Like, and even if you do something, you're like, did I just do this or didn't I just do this? Like, yeah, that when babies are not sleeping through the night and then you've got— he is very healthy, but normally with a premature baby, you also are on pins and needles for like years.

Yes.

And so, you don't have as much of that, but still, I mean, you know, a new mom, like, it is just like, I don't know, is that normal? Calling, is that normal? Is this normal? I don't think that this is normal. What should I be doing right now? I don't remember how to live my life. I remember I remember when Abby was born, and I've said this before, so I had 2 kids under 18 months, and like, we adopted our children. So my husband was like, well, you didn't give birth. So like, literally, we got Joey at 7 o'clock the night before. He was at work at noon the next day. And then with Abby, he didn't even take a day off. Like, I mean, just like, and you do babies, you like babies. So, I mean, I've got the babies too. I didn't give birth. Like, I didn't give birth, but also they didn't sleep. So I remember being in the shower and washing my hair with regular soap. And I was like, you need to use shampoo. And so then I put the conditioner in. I was like, you need to use shampoo. It's never going to pick up. So I was like, so I'm in the shower going, use shampoo, use shampoo, you know, out loud so that I remember what I'm doing. Because I was so tired. I was just so tired I couldn't even wash my own body. And that was probably 5 days before I'd washed my hair, you know what I mean? It's just like, it is. If you've never had a newborn, it is not the same as a puppy.

Kind of close.

It's not, it's not exactly the same. It's just like your eyes cross, like you just, you just can't even form sentences. It's a crazy kind of tired.

It is.

And you just kind of suffer through. You just, you, there's no end. There's no end. Like I kept the other day, I don't know what we were doing, but I was saying, we were, I was about to go home and I was like, I kept saying to myself, oh, can't wait to go home and go to bed. And I was like, no, you're not going to go to bed. You're not going to bed when you get home. And you have to get that in your brain because you're not going to sleep. And you want to go home and just be done, but you're just— it's never done. It's always— but we're so thankful to have Gabe because, like I talked to earlier, with dealing with infertility, we really, I mean, truly thought— I think we all were on the same page that I was probably never getting pregnant. Because it just wasn't happening.

You had got— you got your official foster license, what, weeks before you found out you were pregnant with Gabe?

One week before I found out I was pregnant with Gabe, we were official licensed foster parents. And then I actually got super sick one day. And the next morning, I was going to take some ibuprofen and like something like stopped me from doing it. I was like, I don't think I should take any. And I remember like getting a grocery order and I threw some pregnancy tests in there, even though I was like, this is— I'm wasting $20 here for something that's going to be negative. And sure enough, it was positive. I actually FaceTimed them.

I called my husband first, but then I FaceTimed them and we were all freaking out. Well, she first showed us her positive COVID test.

Yeah.

Because she was sick. She had COVID.

And then she showed us a positive pregnancy test and we were all very shocked. Well, she couldn't read it at first.

Yeah.

She didn't have her glasses. She was like, what is that?

Wait, I don't see. What are you showing me?

But so it's been, it's been really, it's just been such a hard, it's been a hard couple months for sure, but a very, very beautiful couple of months as well. And just every time we look at Gabe, even like last night, he was screaming his head off at me about something and just remembering that he is such a blessing and he is such a miracle. And I will go without sleep for a year if I need to, if that means we get to have Gabe.

Yes, you will. You will. We're just gonna call it Hannah. Congratulations, Mom.

Thank you.

Isn't it so fun to be called Mom now? Congratulations.

It's a little weird. And then Nikki, they kept calling me Mom and I was like, who are they talking to?

My mom is not here. She is working 365 in some Airbnb somewhere.

It's not me. And actually, when Gabe first started getting a little bigger and more responsive, I would talk to him more. And all of my sister Haley's kids, they call me Nanny because I'm their, I'm their godmother. It's a Louisiana thing. But they call me Nanny. And so I was like talking, you know, talking in third person to Gabe saying something about Nanny. And I was like, oh no, I'm Mom. So even learning that has been, it's been difficult because yeah, I've never been mom. So, but it's been very fun.

I think the other thing I took away from this story, just in listening to it and just enjoying listening to it— thank you so much for sharing— is that, you know, for so long I've been trying to figure out how to be the mom, the wife, the grandmother, and the business owner, and the student, and the how do I mix this all together. And you know what I think the truth is? We just do. Like, we just naturally do. Women just naturally do mix all this together. We're not good at like compartmentalizing as much. And maybe we shouldn't be trying to figure out how we should compartmentalize it more and just embrace the fact that the beauty of this story is how you just kept going and pivoting and iterating. And, um, yes, you used the Organize365 systems and processes that probably made it smoother, but it did not, uh, make any of the unexpected events go away. And it didn't, didn't change the fact that you were the ones that kept proactively moving forward and doing what needed to be done. Like, I hadn't heard the story about the virtual baby shower. I hadn't even thought of that. That was just so awesome. Like, just, and, and you each brought a different thing. You know, your mom has that previous medical knowledge. I know we didn't tap into that, but that she, you know, was there at the hospital and knew what they were talking about.

Yeah.

And, and just past employers came and And supported your family, and you, you each played your part. Like, everybody played their part.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And didn't worry about trying to play each other's parts. You just played your parts.

Yeah, no, we don't do that.

We know everybody.

I got to decorate the nursery, which is my thing. I love that part of it. It's my favorite part of having babies, I think, was getting to do the nurseries. And so I was very excited to be able And I could have cared less.

I didn't even, I didn't even care what she did. I was like, you just throw it all together and you let me know what it looks like.

That's the best.

Yeah, yeah. But, and they, um, I think they were also thriving in this, in this time because they love taking care of me. I'm the baby.

And we treat her that way all the time.

Even, even though I'm 29 years old with my own baby, they just can't help it. They can't help themselves.

Yeah, take it.

Just take it.

There's a whole TV show called Everybody Loves Raymond. I mean, it's a thing. Just take it. Just take it. All right, so for those watching on video, do we get to see Gabe, or is he sleeping?

Yes, I will.

I will go and grab him. Haley, are you gonna go get the whole entourage of children?

Betty is already laying down in here.

So if you're watching on video, or if you just go to the YouTube channel And go to the end, um, you'll be able to see all of these, these great-grandchildren. Steph, you've got so many grandchildren.

I know, I know. They happen so quickly. I—

you know what, while we're on this podcast, you could have gotten another one. You don't even know.

That's what I'm saying. I only— I could only handle 2. I always said 2 is my max because I get one and Adam gets the other. Come on in, Liv.

Yeah.

All right, let's see who we're getting.

And this is Liv. This So most of the— all the big kids are going to be Haley's, only the baby is Hannah's. And so we have Olivia. All of them have nicknames pretty much. So Olivia is Liv. Francis, come on in.

This—

come all the way around. And this is Francis. We call her Fran or Franny. And then come over here. This is— this is Ike. It's Isaac. We call him Ike.

Come on.

Yeah, come on all the way over. All the way over.

Okay, here's Lottie.

So, goodness, we've got Lottie. She is actually Charlotte and we call her Lottie. Now we got Paris. He is—

Hi, Paris.

The second to oldest. Paris, so they can see you. And then Mansion.

Come on, Mansion.

This is our football star.

Yes, yes. And so he's the oldest. Now Gabe is on his way, so let's move on over here. We'll all push over one.

Oh my goodness.

So Gabe can come in here front and center.

Gabe, baby, baby Gabe.

He should be coming.

I got Ike.

Oh, come on, we're just waiting on Gabe.

Oh, just waiting on Gabe.

Yep, yep.

Here, you just sit sideways right here.

Okay.

And Betty is in the mix of everything.

Here's Gabe. He's just waking up.

How sweet. Well, thank you again for sharing your story. This has just been so amazing.

Thanks, Lisa.

Bye.

Bye.