035 Awaken The POWER of FEMININE ENERGY with Elizabeth Dialto

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Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear. Clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast and I am so excited to introduce you to Elizabeth Dialto. She is known for her raw, honest and grounded approach to self help and spirituality. And she is the founder of Wild Soul movement and author of Untame Yourself, host of the popular Untame the wild Soul Woman podcast. She's been a teacher, a leader, a speaker, a coach, and a trainer to groups and individuals for 30 years. 13 years. And she also consults organizations ranging from startups to large corporations such as Dove uk. So, you guys, I loved our juicy conversation and I can't wait for you to listen in. So here we go. Elizabeth, I'm so excited to have you on the show today.

Thank you.

So I loved our. You know, we've been able to kind of catch up and chat a little bit before this and I absolutely love what you're about. And I was on your side and it is a little bit like a vortex, like you're hearing from other people, because I think it really, really speaks to women. It's like I'm discovering parts of myself on your site that maybe have been buried for a while or parts that I really want to tap into. So for people who aren't familiar with you yet, I would love for you to tell us what you do, what you love to do. And also maybe a time where you didn't know that this was your purpose and your call.

Well, first of all, I love to hear that, because back when I was creating the actual site and I had started the creative process towards the end of 2013, that was something I said. I was like, I want women to land on this site and go, this is the thing I didn't know I needed. So that thing that you just said about waking up the parts of myself is also in such alignment with part of the mission, which is everything I create at Untame Yourself is about this one sentence, everything you've ever needed has always been inside of you. We're so conditioned and, like, marketed to and programmed in our culture to be seeking outside of ourselves for the answers, to feel better, you know, for all these things that we think, when I get that, or when this happens, I'll feel better or I'll be happy or I'll be successful or whatever. And we forget. We gradually forget from the time we're little kids, like, how magnificent like we are and always have been, right? So sometimes people say, well, why don't you just say everything you need is inside of you? And I'm like. Cause I really want to emphasize that it's always been there. There's never been a moment in your life when you haven't been totally capable, totally worthy, like, so magnificent. We just forget. We straight up forget. And so really what I love to do is remind women. And so there's a couple things I remind them. I love to remind them to get out of their head and into their body. And I love to remind them that, like, you are a woman and that there's like so much ripe, incredible power to, like, be magnetic, to inspire. And we're untrained in that. Again, our culture really trains us in the masculine arts to do, to achieve, to accomplish, to compete, to rank, right? Like, these are the things we learn in school to be right, right? Stuff your emotions, be strong, be tough, like all those things which are great things, but it's just out of balance when we forget all the amazing, juicy feminine parts. So I just love to remind people, and I love that you use the word like, wake up, I think is what you said, because that's what it is. It's just like, oh, snap. It's like I just forgot. I forgot for a minute or for many years. And so for me, to answer the other part of your question, I just forgot. I was in, like, this kind of asleep forgetting place for a really long time where I thought that I really had to just hustle harder, Just keep going, keep going, keep going, keep pushing and. And force, right? I thought that my work ethic was the best thing going for me. And in a lot of ways it's amazing. But you will only get so far in your work ethic until you burn out. Like, you probably have this too. So many women. So my background is fitness. I used to be a personal trainer, and before that I was in sales and stuff. And again, it was just about the hustle, the doing, the pushing, the forcing. And at a certain point, I Just started to notice with my fitness clients that inevitably, any, like, mental, emotional, or spiritual thing could wipe out the physical results with such swiftness. It was, like, astounding. So that is what sparked me to get really, really interested on the inner work. So instead of just working out, to focus on working in and then creating and kind of manifesting life from the inside out rather than the outside in. Does that make sense?

Totally. So did you have a point where you were like, oh, my gosh, I cannot live this way anymore. Like, this is absolutely not working for me, or did you have lot of those points?

I think I had a lot of those. A lot of little points like that build up over time. But the big one came August 2013. I had moved from lifetime, lifelong east coaster. I'm from New York. I lived up and down the east coast my whole life until January 2013, and I moved out to Laguna Beach, California, with the guy I was dating at the time. And I only knew him and his family in the town. And Laguna beach is small. It's so beautiful, if anyone's ever been there, but quite boring. To move from downtown Manhattan where everything's at your fingertips, to this little sleepy beach town where everything closes at, like, 9pm it was culture shock for me. It was like, really, in one sense, it was cool to, like, be by the ocean and, like, be in this beautiful place. And in the other sense, it was, like, really, really, really denying large parts of who I was being there. And so as that relationship came to an end and I was growing intensely dissatisfied with doing work in fitness, which, by the way, I don't knock fitness at all. It just really wasn't for me anymore. I was. I was in a place where I was like, none of this. None of this stuff is working. None of this is okay with me. And I actually, I was. I was in Malibu for an afternoon, and I was walking on the beach, and it kind of had this moment of, like, divine surrender of being like, all right, God, universe, you know, whatever. At the time, I wasn't super clear on how I was relating to my spirituality, but I knew I believed in something, and I knew I just could no longer try to control everything myself, the outcomes. I was like, all right, just show me the way. And what I chose in that moment to be my symbol was like, a beach house, like, a home on the beach. I'm like, this is all I know about. What I want is I want this. And if I could just stay focused on that, the how must fill itself in, because I don't know how right now, but if I could just hold my vision and hold in my heart, like, that this will be the emblem or the symbol that I got there, I could do that. And I'm just gonna surrender that the steps will unfold. And it was like, boom. They just started. Like, within days, things started dropping in. That just, like, helped me to start really lay the path. Mm.

That's awesome. So, you know, it's funny. I was talking to my sister the other day, and literally, she's kind of on the. On the beginning of realizing there's something more. Like, there's something bigger that's gonna be helping you. And for all you guys listening who are like, what the heck are you talking about? Yeah, you will get there. It will be a point. Just like you said. I'm Liz Elizabeth. There we go. That you literally, like, it's just a moment where what you're doing is not working. Kind of like what you said. It's just this moment of, wow, I can't carry this anymore. Please, I'm surrendering this. Help me. And everything opens up. Was it literally, like, days? Is that what you said?

Yeah, it was literally days. Cause actually, at that time, I was ambivalent still about that relationship. And I officially ended it a couple days later.

Oh, my gosh.

And that in itself, right? Like. Like, breakups are the worst and the best at the same time. They're the worst because there's, like, so much sadness, grief, hurt feelings. But there's also this vacuum, right? The minute you're no longer with someone or in something, it doesn't have to be a relationship romantic. It could be a friendship. It could be something going on with your family. It could be a job. Any situation where you were, like, deeply committed to this thing and had so much energy and effort going towards it. When that thing doesn't exist anymore, you become a vacuum back for all your own energy. It's like, oh, I didn't even realize how much I was investing and expending and pivoting towards. Not me, right? Not my highest good or my best or my highest, most amazing expression of my creativity or service to the world or whatever it is.

Wow. You bring me back to this moment. I went to a weekend that was just all dedicated to really diving in and spirituality and really defining your relationship with Source, God, whatever you believe. And I came home, and I think the contrast. Because when you put yourself in that space where you're just kind of, like, surrendering and you're all in the contrast of what's not right in your life becomes so large that it's almost like it becomes easier to kick it out or easier to get rid of it.

Totally.

I came home and did some major cleanup of some people in my life who are great people, just not great for where I was in the moment. Totally, literally, like flipped my world upside down. And like these things that I had been desiring kind of came rushing in within a week. And I was like, oh my God, like, just like you said, like, I can't believe how much energy was going towards, like feeling like, I'm off, this is not in alignment and I know it. And I'm, you know, not doing anything about it. So if we're in that space, is there something that you suggest doing if we, like, know we're so out of alignment, but how can we get to a place where we feel good?

Yeah. All right, so here's my recommendation for that. And you know, everyone. Everyone's personality is kind of different. So for some people, this might resonate. Some people might be like, oh, hell no. But if there's even like a tiny ounce of you that goes, all right, maybe I could try that. Maybe it'll work for me. I highly suggest it. You just gotta get quiet and you gotta be with yourself. Just put yourself in. Just create some kind of container for yourself. Even if it's. If it's. Maybe it's a couple minutes every day. Like, some people, the reason why they do some of the things they do is cause they're actually afraid to be alone with their own thought. They're actually afraid to go below the surface because they're afraid of what they might find. And if that's. You do the a couple minutes a day over time, and then gradually add a little bit more and more time because it's scary. I was actually. I had a call with a client today and we were talking about this how, you know, in our culture also in the world of like self help, personal development, spirituality, whatever, a lot of people are really attached to breakthroughs. And sometimes breakthroughs are traumatizing. It's not actually always the best choice. Sometimes you just need to be making these small incremental changes and adjustments, adjustments over time so that you can very gently and very lovingly, with a lot of self compassion and an honoring of where you are, like ease yourself into an experience or into a transition or a change or another phase, rather than like busting through and then getting there and feeling so raw and so vulnerable. And maybe it's like overexposed or maybe like. Like a baby deer trying to figure out how to walk on this new terrain, and then that's really, really hard on yourself. Like, sometimes the way people go about transformation is, like, self violent because it's just, like, too much too soon without the foundation. So it's okay to slow down. So get quiet with yourself maybe for a few minutes every day, slowly building on it. Or if you can, like, you know, sit 20, 30, 40 minutes, give yourself a day to just be with yourself. I highly suggest getting out in nature to do it. Because nature is just, like, one of the most supportive, loving forces in the world, right? Like, I always say, like, let your mama, meaning mama nature, have your back. Like, literally. I mean, I'm a New Yorker. My family. Sometimes. My little brother's a comedian, actually, so sometimes he'll take a screenshot of something I've written on Facebook or that someone has commented and been like, what the f is this weirdo talking about? Like, makes sense to me. So, like, you know, if you're having that reaction, it's totally cool. Like, I'm not for, like, my. My philosophies and practices aren't gonna be for everyone, but if it resonates even just a little bit, like, just imagine giving yourself something tangible that can support you other than just you. Sometimes it's nature. Sometimes it's like laying in the sand or the grass or being in the ocean or leaning your back into a tree and being like, oh, all right, I'm supported here, and I could do this. But whatever it is to just get quiet and just breathe, just connect with your senses and just remember that there really is the life force running through you. And for so many people, they get lost in the search for what's my purpose? Well, what if everyone's purpose was to literally just be the best version of themselves? So even if you don't know, like, what your sacred work in the world is or, like, what you're here to do or, like, what's the bigger thing that you're meant for? The bigger thing we're all meant for is to, like, literally be the best version of ourselves. So to just get quiet on not necessarily being able to connect with the big picture, because sometimes it's, like, a bit far out and we can't touch it or see it yet. But what's just, like, the next step? What's, like, the next step? Best step I could take to support me on that path, right? Instead of having to take, like, the big, giant leap or, like, leap and the net will appear. Well, sometimes the net doesn't appear and you splat and then it's like oh God, you know, and it's like I took this giant leap forward and then eight steps backwards. Like it doesn't have to be that way.

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Side, we could take like 20 small steps and like get there. Totally just feels better.

And I think in the, in the grand scheme, I know it's. I'm sure it's the exact same for you when you look at kind of, you're just, I don't know, for lack of a better word, like success pattern. Um, it's just I think all of those little moments where maybe you feel like you're not moving, but you are. Cause you're maybe consistent with something or you're really learning to tap in or. You know, a lot of times where we feel stuck at a certain point because maybe we haven't quite figured it out yet or we haven't picked up on that lesson. And then, yeah, like when I look at some of the big breakthroughs, they are few and far between, man. And it is like, it's like those usually came from something that was brewing and brewing and brewing and it was ready to go anyway. But, yeah, but the big picture has just been little tiny things that, you know, when your head hits the pillow at night, you wouldn't necessarily feel like you had moved forward or done anything different. But in the grand scheme, it's just inch by inch and that's really beautiful. Nature's actually been a really big theme for all of the people that I've been talking to who are really creating just a life that they love is the main thing they're doing is just getting in nature, getting quiet. That's so beautiful. It's. I mean, if you're gonna do one thing to make change, I think everything that you said is so, so perfect. Okay, so I love that you talk about masculine and feminine energy because I need to hear all about it. So. Because for me, I can get really stuck in the masculine and I adore the feminine. But for me, it's finding that balance. So tell me a little bit more about that.

Yeah. So this is the biggest thing. Breakthrough, to use that term. Actually, this was a breakthrough for me. One of those big moments was this was about two and a half years ago. I never really understood the difference between masculine and feminine from an energetic perspective. I just knew. I just thought male, female, and I knew. I identified always more with masculine. I grew up a tomboy. I played sports, and I never really identified as, you know, prissy or feminine or girly, which was the only expressions of feminine that I knew. Which makes sense because, like, culturally, our culture tends to really only shine the light and honor maiden and mother in terms of archetypes. Right. So damsel in distress or, you know, the matriarch of the clan in a lot of ways. And so I didn't realize my unique expression of feminine. So I'm reading this book called Awakening Shakti by Sally Kempton, and it's basically just explaining archetypes by using, you know, nine Hindu goddesses of yoga. And so I get to the chapter about Durga, and so if anyone doesn't know who Durga is, she's the image. You might have seen her, who she sits on like a lion or a tiger. She has eight arms, and she is freaking like, warrior goddess. Don't mess with me. I will eff up any challenger, you know, who's trying to, you know, dominate the world or oppress anyone. And I was like, oh, my God, I've been feminine all my life. It's just been like, warrior goddess feminine, not, like, dainty. And so to even just realize this idea of, like, archetypes, that there's so many different energetic expressions of feminine and also masculine. Right. And each one has dark to it. And so to understand so many nuances was. That was a huge. Aha. Like, a big moment for me because all of a sudden, I got to accept and, like, reflect back on, in fact, how very feminine I always have been. And just understanding that it was my unique expression. Does that make sense?

So do you find yourself still going more into one or what? What inspires you? What helps thinking of these different energies? What helps you get more aligned, feel more aligned?

Yeah. So here's what's cool. Earlier, going into this year, I was thinking, like, all right, I'm phasing out of Durga energy. I've got enough warrior. I'm fierce enough. What do I want to embrace? And I still. So I went back to my tried and true awakening Shakti. And actually, she also, Sally Kempton, the author, has these great meditations. And so I was listening, and I really decided to connect with the Lakshmi energy, which Lakshmi is more of the, like, the sweetness, the beauty, the abundance of life. And so one of the things I did in my house was I set up an altar, and I brought a lot more flowers, so to, like, bring in the nature element. And again, Mother Earth. That's very feminine, very fertile, right? Not just fertile in the sense of, you know, making human babies, but fertile in life and creation overall, which is a very feminine aspect in terms of energetics. And so I started, like, it was right around spring when I was doing this. And so we have these rose bushes outside, so I cut fresh flowers and bring them into my home and really connect with these things sensually. Sometimes when I say sensual, because it's like, a big core of what I do, sensuality, people automatically couple it with sexuality, and that's not always the case. Right. So I would bring in these flesh flowers, and I would enjoy the colors and the smells and the feels and the textures. And as the flowers would shed, like, the petals would fall, I just left them on the altar. So even, like, I could see it from my desk. Right now, I just have this pile of rose petals on my altar in my living room. And it's, like, luscious and just so, like, it does feel super abundant and. And just connecting with, like, the colors and, like, different jewelry and playing with how I adorn myself. Like, all these things. I'm just. I keep using all these words in hopes that as people are listening or even as you're listening, something hits you and you go, oh, yeah. Like, that feels good to me. Right? That resonates. Somewhere in my body, I get turned on again, not necessarily sexually, but, like, it excites me or it, like, sparks something in me that goes, oh, I'm compelled. I want to investigate more of that. Or let me pull that thread and see how that might make me feel, you know?

Mm. I. And, you know, everything that you're saying just gets you so present. Even the words that you're using just gets you really present and into your body. Like, literally, just. And I'm sure this is something having. It's just making me think about. I am really loving, wearing, like, really bright lipstick. I don't know why or where it came from, but I've been wanting to just harness, like, being a woman because I think, for me, it's really easy to not do my hair or my makeup. Like, I really. I mean, there can be weeks that go by if I'm behind this microphone and whatever. It's like, you don't have to get ready. And not that getting ready has anything to do with it, but sometimes just doing that, like you said, adorning and enjoying the process, it's not just putting it on. It's like. Like, wow, this is what it feels like to be a woman. Or just things that I enjoy. Or maybe it's a flowy dress that feels good on your skin and just the, you know, the breeze in your hair and just what that feels like to whatever that looks like. So that's really, really beautiful because, you know, I think I'm always playing in this because I love. I love getting things done. I love business. I love being in business with my husband. But I have to do that, like this switch. So this is what I'm working on right now. So how about some live coaching here?

Let's do it.

So for me, it's just getting into the state, like, of being, you know, my husband's wife or someone who just brings a different element, rather than just being his business partner who he knows he can rely on. And we love to push, and we love goals, and we love achievement. And then sometimes it's like, wow, when we go to, like, romance phase, I'm kind of like, meh, I'm in business mode. Like, we're. We're business partners. So is there. There anything that I can do to kind of switch that or get into, like, a different place?

Yeah, yeah. You need to transition out of it, like, very consciously and intentionally. Go. Okay, business hours are over. And now, you know, here comes. Here comes Lori the wife. Here comes Lori the woman. And I always recommend for people, trial and error, right? So getting into, again, how do I access what kind of sensuality? And I love that you said present, because that's actually how I teach people to get present. You know how people talk about, like, be in the moment? The best way to be in the moment is to engage your senses.

Awesome.

So, like, what is it that you need to do? How can you soften and relax and come into that receptive, magnetic, feminine place? And these are things you guys could even talk about, right? And you could be like, okay, what? When you do this? I feel like I can soften and relax. Or, Lori, when you do this, I just feel, like, so inspired by, like, by your beauty and, like, your softness. And maybe it's music. Maybe it's candles. Maybe it's incense, like, creating this, like, sensual, like, sanctuary environment. Maybe it's that, like, you need to take a bath. I mean, it could be so simple, right? Or maybe you just need to do some gentle. So my movement practice that I created is called Wild Soul Movement. Often for me, I just need to get on the floor and like, roll around, roll my hips, do some stretching, like, put on some music that like, really gets me present and like, in my body. And one of the biggest things is to like, literally be in your body. Even if it's just hip circles, like, you want a shortcut to feeling feminine, do some friggin hip circles. It sounds so simple, but for real, it just works. And, and like, and just like be flowing in your body, put on a song, dance, like, again, anything that could just bring you into your body and into that like, deep feminine core. And even if you're someone listening, going, like, I have no idea what that even means. Like, the thing is this, your intellect, your mind is telling you, I don't know what that means, but your body knows what it feels like, right? Like, your body is a genius. And so all you need to do is like a little bit of experimentation and your body will recognize it so quickly and so easily. And then you just have like a short list, right? Of like, okay, Epsom salt bath always works for me. Oh, lighting rose incense. Boom. That does it for me. Ooh, this song right now, that's the ticket for me, this dress. Or, you know, maybe I just need to put on some mascara. And like, you know what? Your little shortcuts to dropping into your feminine are like, and. And maybe it takes five minutes, maybe it takes 30 minutes, but you need that transition out of like, get it done, hustle, make it happen mode back into like, okay, I'm soft, feminine, receptive and gorgeous again.

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That's beautiful. I love that. I love that and everything that you're saying because so lately a theme for me, just literally this last week has been when we switch the questions that we ask ourselves, we get, you know, we get the answers that we're actually looking for. A lot of the questions are like why am I like this, this, why am I not feminine? Or why can I not switch this off? And that's not going to get us any answers. It's like, well, how could I feel this way? Or what makes me feel this way? And it's I went to, I was at an event last night. It was like just a bunch of people who wanted to come together and have just great rich conversation. It Was a lot of artists, a lot of musicians, and they were having us describe. They were like, okay, let's see if you can guess just by these descriptions. Like, everybody got to pick an artist that they love and describe something about them. Like, what makes this person so, like, raw? And how can you know, why are we so attracted to them? So that was really, really cool to break that down. And mine was. I just chose Gwen Stefani because I love her. Because right now I'm on this red lipstick thing. I guess she's kind of just been a theme for me like, my whole life. You know, I've liked her since I was 14 and just.

Just a girl.

Totally.

It was like, oh, badass chick.

Yes, Yes. I just. I think I love that, like, power, right? Girly power.

You just gave me a moment of realizing, actually a moment of recognition of myself that that, like, badass feminine was always there. It was the same, like, I remember feeling so empowered by her.

Oh, my gosh. Yes. And some of it was crazy. Some of the stuff I wrote down because we never actually allow ourselves to dig in. Why do I like this? What do I like about this? How does she make me feel? And so we had to describe them. And I wrote down, like. I mean, this is kind of crazy, but it's just literally what came up in the 30 seconds you get to write. It was like the first. Like the first movement in your hips in the summertime, like, where you're just, you know, reggae music. Like, your body just starts to flow, but you feel powerful and, like, your shoulders are back and you're in the sunshine. And then it was like the first. Like those first feelings of. And if you don't drink, that's cool, too. But those first feelings of when wine hits your brain, just, like where you lose everything, loosens up, but you feel powerful and happy and fun and, like, I don't know. I was like, that's so interesting, the things that can come up if we allow ourselves to, like, get into the juicy stuff, right? The good stuff, and say, why do I love this? Why do I love her? Why do I love the way this looks? Why do I, in appreciating women, why do I love how she makes me feel or whatever that is and really picking it apart and seeing how you can. It really made me say, how can I adopt some of that into my life?

I love that. I love it so much. And you know what else is actually a great indicator? The things that you actually get jealous of or the things that you envy in other Women. Because, like, jealousy and envy are just pointers to the things in you that are, like, ready for you to express them. It's just going, hey, I'm super tired of seeing everyone else be this thing or this way or have this, and I'm ready. Me next. You know, that's what I always feel like. If I ever feel like, a pang of envy or jealousy, I'm like, ooh, me next. Oh, my God, I love that. I don't need to be down on myself. I don't need to feel sorry for myself that I don't have the thing. I go, oh, all right. Looks like I'm ready to express it. Or that would not be setting me off right now.

Wow, I love that. Those words, ooh, okay, me next. That is so perfect. Like, I want that shirt, and I'll just wear it every day.

Okay, me next.

So you. We were chatting about the art of womanhood. If you could expand on that, because I'm just taking notes over here.

Yeah. So again, it kind of just builds on everything we've already been talking about. There's this innate magnetism to being a woman. Like, we have the ability to inspire, and we forget. Like, that's one of those things that really gets covered up by all of our trying and doing and hustling and accomplishing and achieving and, like, having to do everything. And we forget how much support is available to us and how, especially from men. Like, men are built. Like, this is, like, a primal, biological thing to provide and protect for women. And whether it's that you have sons or whether you are in a relationship with a man or whether you work in an office or just have male co workers, Let them help you. So many of us do this thing where we're like, I'll do it myself. And we actually pride ourselves on being able to do it ourselves. And it's just really interesting. And some people might really not like what I'm about to say. It's inspired by the work of Alison Armstrong, if you've ever heard of her. But she says, you know, modern birth control, contraception, the feminist movement, like equal pay, and, like, all these women's movements have been so amazing in so many ways. And in a lot of ways, it hasn't done us any favors in the sense of creating that I'll do it myself culture. Because what happens is we end up emasculating and objectifying others, all in an attempt to hold on to how powerful and independent we are. But we're dying. We're so stressed. So Tired. So many of these health issues, adrenal fatigue, digestive. All these digestive issues. Like all that stuff is happening in the centers of our body that relate around money, power, creativity. And it's because we're shutting off our ability to actually receive. And the giving and receiving is so out of harmony in our lives because we're going, I could do it myself. And what happens is we have needs and we're trying to meet all our own needs ourself, and it's impossible. And then when our needs aren't completely met, we go into like this demand and deserving place and we decide, all right, who owes me what? You know, and it's just really not. But it's not graceful, it's not easy, and it's not like this ripe, loving place where we can be giving and receiving and asking for help and getting it and feeling supported instead of feeling so drained, exhausted, resentful, and we have to do everything.

Wow, you just opened up this whole place that I think is just something I'm really seeing going on. And that was so beautiful. And it reminded me. So a couple weekends ago, I was at an event just for mostly teenage girls. So it was like ages 12 to 18. And one of the biggest themes there, because it was girls maybe from all walks of life or girls who maybe have somewhat of a trouble background. That was probably 50% of the crowd in there. And then the other 50% kind of came with their moms or sisters or things like that. So the room was very, very mixed. But a lot of the theme throughout the room when we were doing breakouts, because I got to be in the breakouts with them, you know, it was kind of like mentor and then teen and mentor and teen. So a lot of the theme was, you know, we were saying different things that have really helped us or things that we do. And one of the women had said that she, you know, asked for help a lot now. And, you know, one of the mentors had said this to the teen girls in the group. And the teen girl said, so what you're. You, like, depend on people? Because I don't depend on anyone. You can't depend on anyone. And this was a theme throughout the entire room of these girls. And the number one thing that they were dealing with was they were stressed out. And it's because they don't feel like they. They're not allowing themselves to depend on other people. And I think it's coming from, you know, they want to be. They have all these icons, right? Like saying who they love and these independent women and what they are, but we're not actually showing what an independent woman is. And that's also having the strength to rely on other people, because I totally know I came from that place. And now the last two years, a huge theme for me has been connecting with women. Allowing a real relationship is depending on someone and having them depend on you. And it's really, really. It's become so beautiful. But just saying that, like, it truly is an art and it's learned, and it's.

It's.

You know, it's just. What are we focusing on? So do you have different things around that, like maybe connecting with other women or how. How can we start allowing and connecting?

Well, first of all, understand there's a difference between being fully resourced. So think of it that way. The thing we're afraid of is being helpless or needy. Nobody wants to be those things.

Yeah.

And we think needing anything makes us helpless or needy. And it's not true. Being fully resourced is, like, the best you could be. And even, like, you know, there's so much. This is again, I keep referring to the culture. Not so we could be victims of the culture, but just so we could spot it and see where it is and go, oh, I get it. That's where that messaging comes from. There's more to it than that. So we see these independent women, you know, like Beyonce, for example. Yeah, super independent. But if you think Beyonce doesn't have, like, a freaking squad of people helping her with everything, you are an insane maniac. Like, she absolutely does. But we don't see the team behind Beyonce. We see freaking Beyonce. Right. We see the finished product. We don't see the process. We don't see the progress or the steps along the way. Right. Like, I remember seeing a meme on social media once that says, beyonce wasn't built in a day and I was dying. You know, that's what it is. She, like, popped out, and, like, that's how that happens, and that's how that works. So, first of all, just, like, really understanding the difference. Being helpless is actually when you have, like, no faith or trust or confidence in yourself that you could do anything. That's really, really far off from being fully resourced and just noticing, okay, where is it healthy? Where is it energizing? Where is it useful for me to do things myself? And where would I be better off to ask for some help or ask for some support? And sometimes you can categorize it by the things. What are the things that I hate Doing what are things that I'm not actually even that good at, and I'm struggling through them. So I'll give you an example. And this might sound like a super privileged example, because it is. And I live in the frigging first world. And so one of my first world problems was that I run a business. I have all these other things going on, and I was wasting a lot of mental space and actual time doing things like grocery shopping, cooking, doing laundry, cleaning the house. I mean, if I look at how I value my time and the things that people pay me for and like my power and my strength, my expertise, scrubbing my toilet is not one of those things. It's super not worth it for me to do that. It's totally worth it for me to hire someone. And so we had hired a house mom. She was doing the grocery shopping, running our errands, cleaning the house and cooking for us twice a week. Because to just take those things off my agenda, all of a sudden I now had all this energy available to me. It was relatively inexpensive. It wasn't. We just put an ad on Craigslist, made up how much we wanted, which was 200 bucks a week, and all these things all of a sudden were getting done. And it was immeasurable. The effect of like having that support. And also, like when it was happening, like to hear the laundry going and I wasn't the one doing it, made me feel like super rich, right? I'm in the energy and the frequency of feeling like super rich, like I'm gonna do better work that day, you know what I mean? And so like, maybe not everyone listening can afford a house mom, but like, can you just start with a cleaning lady, right? Or maybe you run a business and there's like you're answering your own emails all the time, or like you're trying to do your own tech stuff, like hire that out, you know, like get some support. Or maybe there's actually support available to you that's even less expensive. Maybe there's like a neighborhood high school kid that's like mowing lawns. Like maybe they can come do some stuff in your house or whatever, you know, like these, these low leverage activities that aren't helping you, like, express the truth of who you are and if anything are like stressing you out or draining you, you get that stuff off your plate to the best of your ability. Or maybe you're a mom and you have kids. Like, one of the greatest things my mom ever did was she started paying me and my little brother when we were very young to just do stuff in the house. And it taught me that, like, I get to earn my money, right? The things aren't just handed to me. I get to earn it. And if I wanted something, I could figure out a way to earn it. So if I wanted something, I'd be like, hey, mom, can I wash your car? She'd be like, sure, I'll give you 10 bucks. Great. And that also taught me to be, like, innovative and creative and resourceful. So again, it comes back to being fully resourced and asking for help in the places and spaces where it's super not serving you to be doing those things.

Oh, I love that. I can't even. I was so that girl. I think especially coming from the Midwest, we really do. I'm going to be honest. Like, we pride ourselves on how much can we do, how much can we take on. I'm this down home girl. I can do this, this, and this. And I have these perfect vacuum lines in my living room. Yes. I literally remember thinking that. Now I look back and I'm. I'm like, oh, my gosh. You know, of course I couldn't move forward on my business goals. Of course I felt stuck. Of course I felt disconnected from everyone because I. It's like the more I took on, the more, you know, fake blue ribbon I got. From who? No one. It's like.

It's like, what are you trying to prove? And who are you trying to prove it to? Who cares?

Exactly. And nobody, looking back, nobody cared.

Nobody cared.

I was more worried about what would people think if I had someone helping me? Like, how would they. How would they think of me? And now I think, oh, my goodness, woman, you need help so that you can thrive in your zone of genius and help more people. So now I wouldn't even be able to reach any of the people that I'm. I'm, you know, have the blessing to work with now. And looking back, it's just. It's such a different mindset that in the beginning, it may not feel great. Sometimes you have to clear that space and understand that it's going to, you know, it's going to get better. And now, because in the beginning, I was like, oh, my God. But nobody can know that I have a cleaner, because this is terrible. What am I doing? Then all of a sudden, my business started thriving. I'm like, okay, everyone can know I have a cleaner, because look what it did for me. It's going to free you.

So interesting.

So interesting hearing you say that.

It's really about valuing yourself. And I'll tell you for real, one of my biggest, the biggest things that I'm constantly working through and breaking through the ceiling of is I deserve this is how good can I take it? How much love can I receive? How much abundance can I receive in all the various forms? You know, praise, recognition, love coming from people. Like, how many thank you messages can I get? And I cry. I was just gonna be super honest. I cry all the time. I cry all the time because I feel like my heart sometimes is so full if I don't cry and like hit the release valve to empty it out, like it's just gonna explode. Cause there's just like not room for anymore. And I'd way rather have that problem than be crying because I'm so overwhelmed and I'm so desperate for something that I don't have and I can't see how I could possibly get it. Like, I'd rather have the opposite issue.

I could talk to you all day, but that's a really good thing to start winding down on is receiving. So, you know, I think it's. I think it's challenging for many of us. And it's also the most beautiful thing that when you allow it into your life, what can happen? So I can't tell. I think nine out of ten women that I compliment can't. Like, they don't even know what to do. They deflect it, right? They give it back. I want to give it back. It's always okay. That's great. But let me tell you what's greater about you. Why do we need to receive? What's a great way to learn to start receiving? And what will that do for us?

Ready? It's super revolutionary. Just say thank you. So serious. Just take a deep breath and say thank you. When everything inside of you is screaming, no, I can't accept this. Or wanting to say something back, literally. Just breathe, hear all those voices and all those things. Don't express them and just say thank you so much and I'm going to tell you why. Everyone could probably think of a time where you wanted to do something from someone. Like from your heart. You just really wanted to. You wanted it to be kind or you had a compliment or you wanted to give someone a gift or you wanted to pay for someone's meal or whatever and they said no and they rejected it. Think about how you felt. What they did in rejecting, in not being receptive. Was they robbed you of, of the gift or the kindness that you wanted to share or spread. Right. Didn't feel good. So why would you do that to other people? If someone's offering, and here's the thing, you got to give people the benefit of the doubt, that they mean it, that they're being authentic and genuine. And if they're not, that's their problem. When you receive, you know, and. And. And that's just like. It's an amazing thing. And gradually you practice and you get better at it, you know, and you just breathe and you just say thank you. Or if you do, if you're like me, sometimes you over exaggerate it. I had to literally do this for a while. I had to, like, literally things like, thank you. I receive. I can do this. You know, like, I'm a weirdo. Like, that works for me. It might not be your thing, but, like, thank you. Thank you so much. Like, literally, like, put your hand over your heart so it doesn't explode and just go, thank you. Thank you. That feels amazing. Thank you so much. Yes, I'm totally gonna let you do that for me. Thank you. And know that you are giving what you're. What you're giving is you're giving the gift of receiving the thing that the person wanted to do for you. And again, especially if you're a woman, and especially if this is from a man, especially, that is what he's built for. That is what he's made for. And let him. Let them help you, even at the grocery store. I was traveling recently. I just got back from Guatemala. I was so tired yesterday. By the time I got on the plane, I was trying to throw my bag up into the compartment, and this man stood up. Can I help you with that? And I was like, oh, God, yes. Thank you so much. Instead of what I used to do, which is like, I got it. No, I don't got it. You can get it. Thank you, God. Thank you so much. You know?

Yes. I'm literally thinking of. You're bringing up all these moments for me of just noticing where maybe I've grown or maybe I'm still like, okay, I could still. I could definitely do that. So that's funny.

And it doesn't. Like, perfection isn't the goal. It's progress. Just do it more often than you don't.

Totally. And I'm just like you, where I need to verbalize things. Like, while I'm within the lesson, like, I probably sound like I'm like, like on Star Trek or something.

I received that.

I received that. Like, okay, weirdo. Like, if you don't if you don't understand, like, where you're coming from.

But.

But that's really helped me say, yes, I'm receiving that. Like, verbalize it and say, okay, I'm letting that settle in right now because I'm not, you know, I'm not quite there to be. Well, now I am. But before, it was like having to say, I received that because I wasn't quite there to be like, thank you, and just be quiet after that.

So be like, you know what? I'm so uncomfortable letting you do that for me right now, but I'm gonna let you. And thank you so much. I say stuff like that sometimes.

Beautiful. Like, just saying where, like, being honest, like, being totally honest in how you feel. It's. It's some freeing things.

So.

So I know that you have an amazing podcast. So tell me all about it. We kind of bonded over our podcasts.

Yeah. It's called Untamed, the Wild Soul. And people, if they wanna just find it, they could search my name. If you just type in D, alto, D, I, A, L, T, O in itunes, I'm the only dialto, so it'll come up. Untamed, the Wild soul. There's audio and there's video, and it's basically just about reclaiming and redefining womanhood in the 21st century. So, like, this conversation we just had, I have this with people all the time. And I love. Like, we were talking about the archetypes earlier. I interview all kinds of men and women so people can see all the different flavors and expressions and go, oh, I'm like that. Oh, that resonates for me. Oh, I want more of that. Oh, I'm jealous of that person. Me next. Great. You know, like, all these things we talked about, this is kind of like how I roll on my show. Like, this is what we want. We want people coming into more harmonized experience of their energies and in their life and stuff like that.

Oh, subscribing.

Okay.

Seriously, this is just. This is kind of where I'm at right now. So I'm really feeling this conversation, so I'm really excited about that. Okay. And where can we find. Follow all that good stuff outside of there?

Untameyourself.com is my hub. It's my website. And then everywhere on social media, although I go by Elizabeth these days, everything is Liz Dialto because it just has been for you years. So. L, I, Z, D I, A, L, T o. Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, all the things Liz Dialto.

Okay. Couple amazing you guys make sure you go follow because she's always got something. Like even just. Oh my gosh. Just even when I met you, like, your hair and you're free and you're. You're really inspiring to like. I just want to like, free myself. I'm like, these clothes are too restricting. Like, I need a flowy dress and wild hair and I can't take it.

Okay.

Screw this.

Raw.

Yeah, it's exactly how I feel. Okay, so a few rapid fire questions here. Favorite. Which I literally. You just inspired me to come up with, so. Because I want to know. Favorite feminine sensual meal.

Oh, girl. Chocolate covered strawberries.

Oh, dang.

It's not a meal. But whatever.

It can be. Who says it can't be? It's going to be a meal for me. Okay. Favorite book.

Oh, okay. That Awakening Shakti by Sally Kempton. I'm actually just reading this series right now. I just read this book called I Am the Word and then the next book after that is called the Book of Love and Creation. It's amazing. It's super woo woo. I'll just put that out there. I love historical fiction. Anything to do with like Jesus and Mary Magdalene. So there's another series of books I read last year that I loved, which was the Magdalene trilogy by Kathleen McGowan. So it's called the Expected One and then the Book of Love and then the Poet Prints. I'll say, I'll say those for now. But I'm a nerd. I'm reading all the time, so that's a tough one for me to answer.

No, I love that. That's why I asked you, because I'm a total book nerd and I'm like, I'm really feeling this vibe right now, so I'm gonna explore your library.

So that's my book. I wrote a book called Untame Yourself. I'm obviously super partial to my own book.

And where can we. Is that on your website?

Yeah, yeah. And untame yourself.com. amazon.

Okay.

Probably by the time this interview comes up, the print copy will be on Amazon too at the end of May because it's been on Kindle for a bit, but now it's in print as well.

Congratulations, mama. That is a huge undertaking. Good job.

Oh my God. So super fun. Yeah.

Amazing. Okay, and let's see, last but not least, you have a quick elevator ride with someone and they look over at you and say, oh my gosh, Elizabeth, how can I make myself happy?

How can I make myself happy?

30 seconds.

Oh my God. You know What I would actually do, I'm just going to describe it to you. I know myself. I would close my eyes. I would take a deep breath. I'd put my hands in my chest. I'd probably, like, roll around my shoulders of my chest a little bit. And I'm just going to reveal my weirdness a bit more in the moment. I'm super intuitive, so I can't answer it for you because I would have to, like, be in front of that person, feel that person. I would know what to say.

Oh, I love that answer.

That's a really.

That's my answer.

I love it. I love it. So you're really tuning, tapping in and tuning to yourself to really be in, be present and be in the moment with that person, because it can be.

Different for everyone and on the person. But for you, for you, Lori, Harder. If I was in the elevator with you, like, what can I do to make myself happy? I would literally say do some hip circles and take some luxy, really sensual baths with candles at least three times a week.

Oh, I love that.

I just have a feeling that would be the jam for you right now.

I don't know why it totally. No, really. That just totally spoke to me, and it makes me want to actually write or listen to amazing music. So perfect. All right, mama, thank you so much for being on today. I loved it. And you guys, if you love this episode as much as I did, make sure sure you share it. And until next time, do something to go and earn your happy. Bye, guys. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, Tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye. Bye.