045 Creativity, Writing and Yoga with Janna Hockenjos

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Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast.

I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss.

Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear.

Clear.

So you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. I'm super excited for you to meet my guest today. Her name is Jana Hackenjas and she is a published author and a full time yoga teacher. And she's also the owner of Inhale Pittsburgh, which is a yoga studio located in downtown Pittsburgh. So she represents her community and it's her passion to bring the physical and mental benefits of yoga to the brain injury, PTSD veteran and trauma population. So not only is Jana just an amazing human all around, but she has a, a special place in my heart because she has been the editor for this book that I have been writing for the last couple years. So she's really helped me pull my message out, get more clear, been there with me, cheering me on. So I can't wait for you to listen in on our conversation and listen to some of the creative mindset that goes into writing a book, opening a studio, and a whole lot of other stuff. So let's get started. Jana, I am so incredibly excited to have you on the podcast. Thank you so much for coming on.

Thank you. I'm more than thrilled to be here. This is awesome. This is amazing. So thank you for having me.

Absolutely. And you guys, Jana has been my editor, my life coach along this process of writing my book for the first time. And just so you guys all know, it is her birthday today, so we are gonna wish Jana a happy, happy birthday. So just sing it to yourself right now. But really, I want to get into that because you. So I had this idea to write a book and I knew that it had to come out. And I've been pretty much telling everybody and their brother, I'm gonna write a book. I'm gonna write a book with no freaking clue how to write a book, nor am I a good writer. I'm just gonna be honest. Like at that point, I just was like, how does one even do this, like, put paragraphs together. And I happened to be coaching with Gabby Bernstein at the time, and she gave me two names. She gave me someone else's name who did not get back to the email. So she's out of my life. But you were the other one who got back to me, and I'm so, so grateful that you were the one. So tell me about your journey. I want to hear all about your journey to getting to where you are, writing a book, being an editor, all that good stuff.

Hmm. Journeys. Well, I feel like it's a long one, but it's a good one. And I'm glad you mentioned Gabby, because she's a lot of the beginning of my journey as well. I was living in New York City. I was working in magazines, as most of my friends and I were, because we met going to grad school at NYU for magazine journalism and everything kind of took a lot of strange and different turns than we'd all expected because the economy was not what we expected, and therefore the state of journalism and magazines wasn't. So everybody went in a different path, and we ended up having different jobs. And I was working a lot in marketing and advertising, which was fine. It was well and good. And I planned parties, and I did cool stuff, and I really liked the shoes I got to wear. I know that sounds really big, but, like, sometimes I think one of the things I miss a little bit because, you know, now I'm a yoga teacher and cool outfits there, too, but, man, I did love wearing outfits. I did love getting up. Not to sound vain or anything, but. And I was just. I was working in magazines, and I had a lot of. A lot of friends, and we all did stuff, and we all knew people, and through those friends, I happened to meet Gabby, and I met her kind of outside of the scope of any coaching or workshop or anything to begin with. And I just. She was just a person, like, I could totally, like, vibe with. Like, I think we talked about her. Like, I don't know if it was a skeleton ring or a snake ring and horoscopes, and we were just like. It was awesome. And I was like, wow, she's just someone who, like, knows the path she's going and she's happy and you can tell. And she was going after what she wanted. And then it was probably a couple years, No, I don't know, two or so years later, and the whole magazine thing wasn't working out because it was simply. I looked at the people who were ahead of me, my bosses or mentors. Or whatever you wanted to call them. And they were editors and they were publishers and they had great lives and they loved them. But I was like, wow, that's not where I want to be in five years. That's just not it. So I was in that kind of. I don't know when you're like floating out at sea and you're like, what the heck am I supposed to do with my life? I'm supposed to like it a lot more. I'm supposed to mean something. And. And I had multiple friends who were reading. I think it was Spirit Junkie at the time. And I was like, okay, picked that up, read it. Knew Gabby personally. It was pretty cool. She was publishing her own book or. No, it wasn't Spirit Junkie, it was Add More Ing. Yeah, that was the first one and it was kind of resonating with me. But it was so hard to figure out how to get in touch with all of that. So I ended up going to one of her workshops and met a lot of like minded folk which were all just kind of like, what are we doing? How do we get happy? And a lot of phrases at that time really stuck with me. And I'm a word person. I like words. I love repetition and a good list. These are like my things that help me plow through life. But one of them was love over fear. And I just started to make decisions that were based on the things that I loved and the people that I loved instead of the things that I was particularly afraid of or doubtful that would come true. And things like that. And the other one, oh my gosh, now I'm like drawing a blank. But love over fear and just, oh, this is what it was. I wanted to figure out how we all have talents. I thought, okay, we're all humans, we're all here, we all have talents. And I'm like terrible at math and I'm really good at water skiing. So those are weird things. And it's not a combo that everybody has. And I'm really good at making good pasta dishes. I'm terrible if you ask me to bake a cake. It's just how I roll. So I thought, okay, we all have these talents and we're all in this world and jobs don't have to be horrible and terrible. And I hated mine at the time. It had gotten to a point where I worked way too many hours, wasn't making money to make up for the hours, was doing stuff like eating and drinking and shopping to sort of fill a void that wasn't really happening. And I'm sure I can get to this later on the podcast because it brings up a lot of stuff that I hadn't dealt with in my childhood, in my adolescence. But to even get to that route, I started to realize that I had these talents, and there was probably something that I could do to serve the world in a greater way. And I realized that's what I wanted to do. And I had started picking up a regular yoga practice at that time. I was like, well, I don't know how the heck to serve the world because I just work in magazines and advertising. And I realized that the two things I really wanted to do was to share my story. And that's kind of where Gabby came in. He was pretty much like, okay, share your story. And the other was to help people heal, because I had certain things that were helping me heal. Reading other people's books, sharing the story that I had with my own friends, and sometimes not my friends, sometimes random people at a bar, just because you get to talking and. And then also I really loved yoga, and it was so cool what yoga was doing for me and how it was helping me heal. And it was just uncovering all of these things. So what I decided to do, long story, made short. People like Gabby, they make jumps and they make leaps and they make moves. And I know you have done this, and I obviously know your story and the giant, scary things that you have to do in sort of an action of love over fear so that you can do it. And I just thought, okay, well, it's now or never. I didn't have a serious relationship. I didn't have. I didn't even have a pet that depended on me at the time. I was living in New York, and I was like, all right, I'm gonna quit my job in magazines because I'm not happy. And I don't think I'll ever be really happy doing this. And I'm gonna write this book that is my story. And I had journals and I had snippets of it, and I was, like, writing at 5am in the morning at that time, because, of course, I couldn't sleep either. And I was going to become a yoga teacher, and I was doing one of Gabby's workshops at the time, and it was all just very synchronistic. And I gave my. I'm pretty good at working under pressure. Not all people are, but you put me under pressure. I do a little better. And so I put myself under the pressure of, okay, I spent my savings to do this, like 401k, teeny tiny one. It's magazines. It's not get crazy. And I decided that I would write this book that I really wanted to write and I would become a yoga teacher. And if I didn't successfully do those things within a year, then I would figure it all out a different way and I would use different talents that I had or revisit magazine marketing because there are awesome things about it, too. And so sorry. This is just. My story is long and I like it.

Every story's long.

Being like, oh, Jana, your mouth.

That's why you're good at writing, right?

Because I have this story. But I did it. I did it. And I might not have been my friend's favorite friend to hang out with that summer because I chose to do this in February. I did my yoga teacher training March through April. And then all through that summer, I just wrote this book and I took a couple bottles of wine a week. It took a pot of coffee, didn't really go out. I probably maybe wasn't so nice because it was weird, because it's a memoir and I had to dive back into my own life. And I think the biggest challenge about writing that book was that I wasn't. I had a hard time separating myself from the person I was. Let's say this was2011 from the person that I was when I was like 14 or 15 or 20, when I was writing about the mistakes I was making or writing about the really hard years or summers that I had. And in a way, I was living like I was that person still and really taught me to learn to live in the present moment because I was so stuck in my past and pulling it into my future just to write a book that it was a good time to have a yoga practice and turn to it because it kept me somewhat grounded. And looking back, I'm like, oh, boy. I took those emotions a little far. I dragged them 20 years into the future where they didn't belong. And I'm sure, as you understand writing a book, especially your first couple drafts, is it's catharsis at its biggest, loudest expression.

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Totally. So I love following this along because I didn't get to know all of this about you and I love hearing that. Just your journey with your book as well. And it's so interesting what you say about it. Just dragging out the past. I think people forget that. They forget that when you go to remember everything and write it all down. I felt it like I was so tired. I think I remember telling you I was so exhausted after writing a few of the stories that I had to really remember. That's why. Yes. Maybe the wine or the four pots of tea that I went through, like just insane. I had no idea. But it did give me what it made me realize is when we're dwelling in the past, how exhausted we are. And so many people live from that space. So I love that you said you did a yoga practice during it. So when did that all start? Like your passion for yoga.

And hearing you say that, yoga is what pulled me out of the past because I did a really good job of living in the past. Well, but it wasn't serving anything that I was doing at this point. Yoga began when I was in grad school and I was just looking for something to get, I don't know, to sort of flush things out and to detox, but also to like get some abs and get in shape and balance all the crazy NYU life and New York life and 4am nights and 7am mornings and I just, there was a studio around the corner from my apartment. It was a 30 day special, it was Bikram, it was hot as hell. But I was like this, this is what people do. Like, you know, people love doing this. And I needed a discipline. I needed something to ground me. So I just kept going back. I signed up. I was horrific at it. Not that. And I would say this to any student now I'm like, I don't care if you can touch your toes. I don't care if you can bust a crazy arm balance. I don't care if you can even like breathe the right way. But I was, I couldn't touch my toes. I was really inflexible. I had like sciatica pains. I had all kinds of. Just now I hear myself saying this and it's like, girl, you needed yoga.

Yes. That's the beauty of it though. Like seriously, when you go and it's challenging, I feel like that can get you even more present.

And I was so. Oh yeah. And it can make you so accountable, and it can make you so. I mean, for me, what yoga did for me the most is I got to know myself. It was like, no question. This is your authentic self. It's not the version that you think you are. It's not the person you want to be. It's like, here's who you are now.

How did that happen?

See, stories are so long. I got to know my body, and it had been a really long time since I've known my body or been kind to it or loved it or looked in the mirror and was like, yeah, you rock. It had been years of not being quite, you know, the right weight and dabbling. And I do say dabbling, which is a ridiculous word to use for it, but in eating disorders, and just thinking of it as something that's separate from myself, which you get yourself on a yoga mat. It's you, your body, your breath, and there isn't really one that you can turn away from. I mean, you can, but you don't get the same deep practice. And I was looking for something deep and disciplined. And it showed me that, you know, I don't. I don't have to hate what's there. I just work with it. And in doing so, it, you know, it gets past this physical layer. And I was getting past the physical layer, and that's kind of when I started to move away from Bikram because I realized there was just a heck of a lot more to this practice. And credit goes to one of my bosses back in the day. Nessie, thank you for buying me a passage, because you opened up my world to new yoga. And then it got to be the mental stuff. And to me, it's this. It was just this unearthing of who I was. And first it was physical, and then it was mental and emotional. And I. So the story of the book and all this stuff is that, long story short is that When I was 14, my dad was in a car accident and resulted in a traumatic brain injury. So I'm an only child. I feverishly love my parents. I did. Amazing childhood. They're awesome human beings. And it was really shitty, unexpected, terrifying, uncertain thing to have happen. And my mom's an amazingly strong woman. My dad survived. He's physically pretty okay, but the whole thing was his personality change. So the man my mom married is not the man that, you know, we had in our house. Now. The dad I grew up with, like, didn't really recognize me some of the time. So it was some long and arduous years. In the beginning, but I wanted to be strong too. And I wanted to just sort of bury that underneath and just, you know, be a normal kid with a normal life, but still connected to my parents. So I kind of made this disparate connection. Like I was there, but I wasn't really allowing myself to feel a lot of this stuff and process a lot of the stuff. And then, you know, like 10 years later, yoga was like, oh, hey, hey. You want to deal with that stuff because it's time.

Coming up right here on the mat in front of everyone. Awesome.

I don't want to open my hips and open up all my memories and deal with my emotions, but it did and I'm really thankful for it because the number one thing that that practice has shown me, and it's like 5,000 years old, is that people used to say this phrase to me. And A, I never got it, B, I thought it was just stupid, but people would say it is what it is. And you're like, alright, what does that even mean? But truth is, that's what we have. Like our truth is what we have, our day to day is the day we have. Like our body is the body we have. And you can change all those things, but they're not gonna happen in this moment. It's just the actions you take from the present moment and whether it's you're changing your body, you're changing your mentality, you're changing your relationship with your family, it's all to change it. It's just you have to know where you're changing it from to get anywhere that makes sense.

So I love hearing that because just fast forward now, you guys. She has an amazing yoga studio that she opened and I. It's great to hear the beginning because for people who are going on the creative process and really opening a studio is a creative process, especially a yoga studio, to visualize, to envision all of that and to know where it came from. It starts so small, right? It starts as just like this mustard seed. It's that small, but it's like so much faith.

And I find this pattern with everything and I find it with people that I talked about too. And I actually, my dad, who he's doing all right, he's a severe TBI for, you know, those of you who know anything about brain injury. But I still get words of wisdom from him every now and again. And he just said to me, he's like, everything is hard and unfamiliar the first time we do it. And it's so true. And I Think a lot of times that tends to stop us because it's that fear that comes before love thing. And so the first time you think, oh, I'm gonna write a book, then you're like, no, no, no, no. I'm not gonna be an author. Other people are authors. I don't belong in that space like you. It's really hard to, like, step into that. That. Not that we have labels, but to step into that part of yourself because you feel like you don't belong because other people are doing it, and they're confident in doing it. And I would think that when I moved to New York, I was like, okay, here I am in New York City. This is, like, where people write books. And before they wrote books, they didn't write books. So right now, I just haven't written a book. So there's as much potential for me to write one as there is for someone else to write one. And that's kind of how I've started to see other things happen. Like, even being a yoga teacher, I was like, I'm never gonna be a yoga teacher. That's wild. But all the yoga teachers I had. There was a point when they weren't yoga teachers. And just if you want it and you believe in yourself. And these are, like, more of my, like. Like, spirit junkie ing nuggets. Coming up is just one of the things that Gabby had told me because I talked to her a lot about writing this book. In fact, she kind of called me out, and she's like, all right, what's stopping you? Like, you know, like, do it. Just do it. She's like, you have a really strong power to manifest things now. Just. Just do it. And I was like, oh, okay. She said I could manifest things, but we all have a really strong power to manifest things. It's just figuring out how it works. And me. It works in lists and repetition. And other people, it's meditation, and other people, it's vision boards. We all have something that gets it in our brain, and when it's in our brain, then we. It becomes sort of neuroplasticity. Your brain starts to work in ways that you, without thinking about it, make decisions that lead you closer to that thing you actually want or really that feeling you want to feel. But she had said to me, just look in the mirror and say you're an author. And I was like, I'm not an author. I have, like, half of a manuscript. And so what I would start to do when I figured out what I wanted to do with my life. That whole, how do I want to serve the world with my talents? I would just kind of test it out in bars and people would say, oh, what are you? And I worked in magazines at the time, and I was like, oh, I'm a writer and I'm a yoga teacher. Because I was like, practice it. What does it even feel like? It felt so much better than being like, I work at Harper's Bazaar. No offense. Harper's Bazaar. It was good years. It was fun. But, like, didn't give me that same awesome feeling to say that. And to this day, it feels really great to say I'm a yoga teacher and now an author.

I love that I'm not. I'm like, the same way. I'm like, okay, basically, I've pretty much written an entire book, but I'm like, I'm. I'm. Yeah, I'm.

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It's so crazy and I love that you were talking about manifesting and the thing that's so powerful that you're kind of, that's kind of intertwined through your whole message is you've been able to powerfully manifest and create things in your life when you've faced them head on and created that clearing. So like yoga created that clearing for you. You know, really confronting different things. It's amazing. People don't realize that when we're carrying that heaviness and we're not being present, you can't actually get things to manifest because all that other stuff is taking up too much space.

Yes. Yeah. You said like so many things that I'm so all about like creating space for ourselves, so clearing out and getting clear. And I also think one of the things that we as humans do because it's comfortable and I think a lot of yoga is it's not necessarily working outside of your comfort zone. Like I will infrequently say to students like, okay, now you know, step outside of your comfort zone. It's more about being, getting comfortable with what is uncomfortable. And that's where I like to work from. Because it's not, you don't like circumvent the things you don't want to deal with. And you don't ignore them because they're not going to actually go away. They'll just resurface in a totally different fashion. You can't, you know, you can't like, I can't think of a word I'm looking for, but you, you can't like Smash them up and, like, run. You have to work through them. You have to figure out why they're there in your life, why this happened. And if you don't figure out why, then you figure out, okay, how do I change how I feel about this thing? Because it's not going to go away. And that was a lot of yoga and working with my dad's. Me working through my dad's accident because for years. And, like, I saw it was so difficult for my parents. My dad lost all his friends, his job, his life as he knew it, all the stuff that. And I'm an advocate for brain injury, so I talk a lot about it all the time and speak at conferences. So in this world, you have these. This. This one event that changes everything about not only one person's life, but it's a lifelong condition and change. So it changes everyone else's life. And it just becomes, like, very unfair. Like, you know, like, how dare that thing happen? So I spent years thinking how unfair it was and how angry I was. I was just angry. I hit it up. I hit it well, and I had a fun life, and I did fun things, but, like, on the inside, I was just angry, and I was doubtful, and I was fearful that, you know, it was never gonna be easy and all these things. And Gabby. More gabby. But she is kind of the. The crux of the beginning of my journey is that she has this concept of a tiny mat idea. And. And we worked. We talked about that a lot in a workshop that I did with her in New York City and, like, hundreds of other women, and. And the tiny. We were supposed to figure out our tiny mat ideas. And it was so baffling to me because I was like, well, everything was good, and I had a great childhood. So what possibly could be this concept that I'm hooked on to that's. That's not allowing me to move forward? And when I was a little kid, I was a wimp. I was, like, a super wimp. I, like, didn't want to jump in the water. It was too cold, or that was too high. And I was just a little girl. And my dad was always, you know, helping me get through these things. But his. His mantra, if you will, was, oh, life's not fair. Like, get over it. Life's not fair. And he was giving that to me in a positive way. Like, come on, it's fine. We're all good. Like, it's. You know, sometimes life's not fair, but it can be fun or it can be, you know, whatever. And I mean, he taught me how to water ski when I was six. Like, skis were like, like monsters. But I did it. But what I kept along way too long was this concept that life wasn't fair. So I had it like ingrained in my brain that my life was not going to be fair. And it was always going to be hard and it was always going to be challenge and yoga and self work and all that stuff. I was finally like, oh my God, I should start saying my life is fair. Or it is these things and it's just that shift. My brain just needed to shift out of that and I needed to stop trying to figure out why the accident happened or, you know, like, why our family, all this stuff. Because that's the whole. It is what it is, it happened. And it was the biggest thing that I had to move through. Not around, not under, not over. And once I was able to move through it, it was like clarity on the other side.

I can just live in the why. When we live in the why, it just is a stopping. Why is stopping. It's not a through.

Sometimes it gets you to a point. But it's like my mom will say to me sometimes, which wise and wonderful woman that she is, but like, don't keep asking the same question and expect a different answer. Take the answer you get and move on. And she's so right. And I think we get in a space where you're like, why? And you want to hear the answer you like. And sorry, sometimes you don't hear the answer you like. And even you get on a yoga mat sometimes you don't get to do a pose you like or your body doesn't move in a way you like and, and you move through that because there's something out there that you do like. And there is something that does make sense and there is something that is fair and stinks. But sometimes we have to do the work to find it.

Oh, it's so true. And I love that yoga just brings the body into it because so much for me, I have to. I not only process verbally, which drives my husband crazy sometimes, but I process through movement. So if I have something I have to work out, I gotta take myself on a walk, I have to take that question or that thought on a walk and I have to just see the bigger picture. Because even if you're in a room, it can feel small, it can feel trapped, and it's stuck because you are technically, you're not moving it out, you're not moving it through, you're not like, your brain actually works better and releases chemicals that help you think. And it's more alert when your body is moving. So there's just such huge bonuses to that and being in the energy of other people. That's a really great thing with yoga as well. And I really want to chat with you about your. Just about the creative process. About before you had written a book, you said, well, I had never written a book before that, obviously, because it's new. So how did you know where to start, what to do, how to write? Because so many people are listening to this right now who want to write a book or want to start getting out there, but they just don't know what that process looks like. And for me, I was the exact same way.

Yeah, just do it. I know that's like, not what anyone wants to hear. And I liken it to yoga. Again, it's such a great analogy for so much of life off the mat. But you just show up and you don't have to know what that looks like, and you don't have to know that it's going to match the way someone else does it. And you don't even have to know if it's successful. And for me, figuring that out was I just started writing and I had. And I probably. It was in me a lot longer and a lot earlier than I realized because I wrote journals and the journals had, like, tidbits of what was going on with my life with my dad. I mean, I have a lot of journals with just like a lot of stuff about boys in high school, boys in high school, and outfits. But then there'd be this one thing, like about my dad or my grant, something having to do with the brain injury. And I kept them. I mean, there were times when I was going to throw them out. And so I started to realize that I just had this story I really wanted to tell. And I think the key to writing a book and I did take some novel writing courses. So thank you, NYU professors, for bringing that actual, like, literal clarity to how do you structure a narrative and why does someone want to read it? But just you figure out what your story is that you want to tell. And you don't have to have perfect words for it and you don't have to. I think one of the questions I get the most is like, what time of day do you write? And, you know, how do you structure it? Or do you put it on the calendar? And it's so different for everyone. Like, many people will not want the method of book writing that I had, because I. I'll write for, like, two days. It's ridiculous. Like, it's a ridiculous way to be, but that's what works. So you can't judge the weird stuff that works for you, and you just put words down on paper or you put words down in a blog that you might not even ever post, because you have to start to get it out there and then read it and see what it looks like and write through the catharsis of it. And it doesn't mean you have to have a memoir to have something cathartic. You could be writing nonfiction, and your feelings are coming out through your characters. No one else has to know that you have a book like yours, which is. Is full of anecdotes, but it's still. You're sharing the lessons you've learned. So you're gonna go back through all of that stuff. But it is. You just. You show up and you're okay. If you hate what you put on paper, I can. Or, well, on. On the screen, because it is 2016. But. And you and I have talked about this. Like, you might throw, like, 75% of that away. That's why I have a folder on my desk called Sad Cuts, because it's really hard to, as we say in journalism, kill your babies. Yes, the phrases kill your darlings, but let's be real. Like, they're your babies. Create them, and they're this beautiful sentence or this thought you had, and you think you're gonna have it the whole time, and it's gonna work wonderfully, and it just might not. So it's a big process of letting go, too.

You know, it's been really beautiful for me. And I remember hearing that first, I was like, oh, gosh, that's painful. Like, I just wrote for how long? Like, and I'm. When you first don't write, you feel like you deserve, like, an award for every time you sit at that computer. So now. Now I look at it and truly, if I've written something that it's a chapter that we. A whole chapter. Right. That we have to, like, go over two or five or whatever. I really am fully aware of what got to come through me and that I look at it as therapy. I'm like, that had to come through. It was something that apparently needed to be said to get to the next point. So sometimes there's parts on your journey where you have to go through. Let's see. I'm trying to think of a desolate state. Help me. Montana no, Montana's beautiful, right?

Desolate state. Insert desolate.

Insert own desolate state that you don't like driving through in order to get to.

I would say Ohio, but I. I love my family and my friend.

Exactly. Okay. But there are totally rural parts, so drive through the Midwest in order to get to your destination. And it's so. It's so true because it's just. You can't get to that other part without crossing that bridge. So we forget that, you know, sometimes it's going to.

It's just.

It's a part of the process, and.

It'S getting comfortable with what's uncomfortable.

Yes. And it's.

And for anyone writing, my biggest, biggest writerly advice that came from my professors is show, don't tell. And we can tell stories all day long. We can pretty much, like, tell the reader what the emotion is and what the character did or what the person did or how the story is supposed to feel and all of these things. But the most powerful thing is just write the facts and let the facts bring up the feelings. Because that's where I think all of our truth lies, in these. These circumstances and occurrences in our lives. And I can tell you, you know, I was sad, or I can just write down what made me sad. And you can be sad, or you can empathize with me, or you can sympathize with me, or you can have no idea what that's like. And it. It gives so much, I think, more credibility to your writer and so much more freedom to your reader, if that makes any sense at all, because we interpret everything so differently. But the facts are the facts, and truth is truth. That's true.

I think I learned the most when I'm reading something just through, obviously, somebody's story, sometimes they don't even have to say a word. We can put ourselves in that position. And I know there's so many people out there who are like, well, I don't feel like my story is important or I don't have a story or whatever that is. So to those people, it's funny because they. I mean, they do, and it's needed, right? Especially if you have that hit right now in your heart where you're like, wow, I really feel like I want to get this out, and I think I want it to be in book form or ebook form or blog form. What do you say to that person to start wrapping their brain around the fact that they do need to share that.

That, you know, when you go out and you hang out with your friends and You. You end up telling the same thing over again, or you end up, you know, being okay sharing something, and even though it becomes more familiar and almost more like beating a dead fish to you because you've heard it so many times or you've told that story so many times, there's something about the repetition of wanting to get that into the world that kind of tells you, like, okay, this is something you want to communicate to, like, more than one person. And I think that's it. It's the thing that you like to talk about. It's the thing that you like to show up for. And you might not know what package it comes in. I have a friend who's a really good. She's an awesome yoga teacher, and she was surprised to figure out her method of getting things out into the world. She's like, I think I really like vlogging. I was like, I don't know a darn thing about that. But I do know a lot of people who do. And don't be. Don't be judgmental of the way you want to get it out into the world. Just see how it gets out there. And if it's a book, it'll start to come out. You'll be somewhere, and you're like, man, I really want to write that down. Or you want to put it in your phone, or you want to do that and allow yourself that. I think a lot of times we stop ourselves because we think like, oh, no, that's not me. Oh, I don't need to do that. Nobody wants to hear that story. Let people decide if they want to hear that story.

I love that. And also, whether it's vlogging or whether you feel like you're not a great writer, whatever that is, it's. It's kind of like people forget that there's so many helpers along the way. Number one, there's people who you can speak your story to, who can write the book for you. Amazing. Number two, there's editors who can take your words, and they catch the idea, and they can sometimes speak in your voice better than you can.

That's what their talent is. Serving the world. Yeah. So that's. They're there to help you get your message out there, which is what they want to be doing, you know?

Oh, my gosh. Sometimes I'll get back something I've written, and I read it, and I'm like, that. Of course, that went there more than it went in the other place. But you're so in it that the only thing there's been so many times where I'm just like, okay, what now? And you're like, just keep. I mean, just keep writing. Because, you know, it's so great to get something back from you that just makes complete sense. Even when I sent it off before, before it made total sense to a possible reader, you know, and that's the.

Thing you don't allow, like, you get to a point where you feel good about allowing in other people's perspective. And you do have to have a sort of a tough skin for it because rejection is like, not fun for anyone. But man, there is power in being able to accept rejection because you get to roll with it, you get to change with it, and you get to look at it like, okay, here's where I am now and I don't want to be here anymore. So how do I move on to the place where I don't get rejected? Or someone doesn't not understand what I'm doing? And that is so part of the process. I mean, it's for writing especially, like anywhere anyone who's written a book, I mean, there's like just laundry lists of rejection stories about, well, this author was thrown in the trash and this author, you know, and so those stories are there for a reason. Because this shit is hard. But just because it's hard, it does not mean it's not rewarding or it's not fulfilling.

Absolutely. There's so. It's just. I remember, I think the first thing I wrote to you or the first time I sent off a chapter, I can't even tell you, I was just like. Cause I didn't know you that well yet at all. And I'm like sending something to you, even though I was like, yo, I really like this girl. Oh my gosh. Sometimes it's worse if you like the person a lot because you're sending it and you're scared to death. Like, oh my gosh, what if she's like, I can't believe I'm working with this eight year old. Like, these are all the thoughts I was like, let it go, let it go, let it go. Because at the end of the day, this is really therapeutic for you. This is a learning spot. Like, I can't go forward without going through this. So that was huge for me to just say, if you want to get better, it's either now or this is the process. Like, understanding that this is taking action and doing it is the only process to get better. There is no practicing for writing except for writing and sending it off.

It's like anything you can't go do. You can't go practice snow skiing and be the best water skier. They're similar, but you're just not going to get that. And you also can't be the best water skier if you didn't start off as the worst water skier. I mean, great, yes, there's idiots, savants, and there's children who like our Mozart, but for the most part, we're not that. So we have to fail a lot. And there's a lot of power and failure. And there's. And I have, again, my writing professors are awesome. Like, writing isn't a rewriting. I mean, you are amazing if you think you're going to be that person that writes their first draft and you're like, boom, done. And, hey, sure, there are people like that. I. You know there are. They've perfected the craft, but chances are that's not gonna be it. And even if it isn't, and even if it's acceptable to society and people like it, it probably won't be your best, because you, too, have to comb through it. You too have to decide what darlings to spare and what darlings to axe out. And that's what makes it strong. Like, the idea that it. It takes time. And it is a process that has a lot of layers, and you can't uncover all the layers at once because, man, that'd be awesome. That'd be a piece of cake. And, sure, you might get to a point someday where you can just whip off a blog post and send it to your editor, who you have a monthly blog for, and it doesn't need touch. That's a different story. But your big message is going to take a lot of layers to work through.

You know, it's been. One of the most awesome parts of writing is it's helped me so much with speaking, just with even communicating with people, because I always go back. You know, if I go back and read something like, wow, that point doesn't matter. Like, that whole paragraph is just for me to either, A, feel better, or B, I was trying to sound interesting and see it's not relating to anyone else and they don't give a crap. So every time I write, I'm like, is this going to be interesting to someone else or add value, or does this story need it? And when you write from that place, whoa, that's a totally different place of I'm trying to sound interesting or I'm trying to add this in, and it's like, they don't care.

It's showing and not telling. It is clear cut communication. Like, I'm using these words because I want this message to get out there. And that's hard to do because we love to bury our own message. We love it. And I think too, there's ways in which that works. But on a meta level, just get your message out there and get it out there in a big way and then pare it down and figure it out, you know, but don't be your. Your biggest critic in the beginning. You won't get anywhere. You won't even get past yourself.

I wasn't able to do that in the beginning. Like, I didn't even understand what that meant. And now I can. I was like, that's so important. People need to hear this. No, they don't.

But I always hear my mother's voice and she's like, no, no, Jana, they don't. They don't. You might, but they don't. Exactly.

That's your therapy. This is for them.

Kay. And that's the biggest thing. I turned in my first draft of my first chapter because it was our assignment for novel writing at nyu and it was. I took the class because I wanted the professor, not because I wanted a novel writing class. And I couldn't fit him in other journalism classes. And I was like, oh, final assignment. First chapter of a book. I have a book. This is perfect. I did it with one of my still really good writer friends today. She's, you know, we've. We both hung onto this writing thing, riding it till the end, but. And she also had like, yeah, I have an idea. But I had like an idea. And she was like, yeah, this could work. And so we turned it in and we workshopped and we both, you know, loved each other's and got it back. And he was a tough professor, thank goodness, because we learned from him. But Professor Norman, you're awesome. And she got hers back. And it was a great little tight narrative. Great, Wonderful. Got an A. I got C minus. And I'm being generous. Come see me if you want to know what this is about. And I was just like. But I just poured my heart out about my dad and my brain, like my brain injury, his brain injury. And my family poured it out on paper. Understood. Like, oh, just slit your wrist and bleed. That's writing. That's what it felt like to me. And I turned it in and I mean, the grammar was fine. And got that, remember, Took it really upset by it. Cried New York City sidewalk. It's actually in the book is me crying about writing the book to my mom, and she's like, go back and see him. See what he has to say. So it took me a while and I went back to see him, and he basically was like, no one wants to read this shit. It's your feelings. Like, these are all just your feelings. They're not our feelings. We don't know what happened. We just know how you felt. We don't. And that was when I was like, whoa, show don't tell. Except it still took me three years because I still left crying, being like, I can't be a writer. No one cares about my story. He doesn't even like my story. And no one had written my story from my perspective. So I was, like, floored, and I stuck it in a drawer because it was on paper in those days, and I didn't look at it. I didn't do anything. And then a couple years later, I dug it up. You go through stuff, and I found it and I read it. I remember saying to my. One of my best friend who I lived with at the time, I was like, oh, my God, this is horrible. I wanted to share this. I wanted to share this with the world. And you just learn how much you learn in just writing. Because all I'd really done since that point was just write more. All it was was catharsis. It was just all my feelings on paper. A really great place to start. How do you tell the story of your feelings?

That's the best. Because it was just. It's funny. I literally had a Jack Canfield podcast right before you, and it's just feedback. It's like the best feedback ever, and you can't do it unless you're open. So criticism, feedback, whatever you want to call it, is the best thing to ever happen to someone. So even the crying, it's beautiful because it's like, whoa, I got through that, right? So I'm kind of just being mindful of time, woman. Because you and I could talk. I mean, I get on the phone with you and I'm like, oh, good Lord, we could, like, lose hours. So I want to make sure that you get in everything that you want to. But what are some last tips for people who are like, I have a book in me, but oh, my gosh, resistance is killing me. Anything for them besides what we've said, right?

Well, I think this applies for more than if you're writing a book. I think it goes for. If you want to open a yoga studio, you want to meet the man of your dreams. Like, write down what your resistance is. Like write down the words on paper. I did this for not a yoga studio, not a book, but some other things just to be like defining our resistance. And mine was doubt and it was trust and it was self confidence. And I got to realize these were the things that are holding me back from doing or achieving whatever it is I wanted to do. And I think that that's what when you're just stuck. Like, and if your stuckness is you can't figure out how to get this book, then stop trying so hard to go that same route of just pushing through it and sit back and be like, what's holding me back? Am I holding me back? Is someone else's opinion holding me back? And then find that sort of nugget of what's holding you back and work through that. Does that kind of make sense?

Like, it's like, what were some of your tips? I know when you were opening a studio, you know, maybe some of that resistance came up. What were your tips when maybe you either had self doubt or you had those moments of like, wow, there's a lot more issues going on than I thought in order to open this. Like, what did you go to?

What did I go to?

Thought wise or processing wise?

No, no, I. Patience. I think what I wanted. I think probably what I went to is I looked at the things, I looked at my non strengths and tried to figure out how to make them strengths. And that kind of sounds backwards, but things weren't happening because I was impatient. So one of my strengths is not patience. So I had to figure out different ways to be patient. Or I can get really doubtful about stuff. And for me, love over fear is a really big one. And just trust the process. And the process is not. It is. You could write it down. I had a vision of it. It is the book, the studio. It's not the same vision. Like, you get that that vision gets you your inspiration. Your inspiration gets you into action. Your action gets that thing that you want. And it might not look the same, but pretty sure it's gonna have that same feeling that you desired when you first started to picture it. And I think that if we can keep following the feelings inst the exact colors, words, covers, you name it. We all, all things like come into.

So good.

Speak through our feelings. And you've written a lot about that and you remind me about that.

So good. Wow. Okay.

So.

Well, first I'll say this. Where do you want people to follow you at? If I want to get in touch with you or know about your book. Ooh, give us the title of your book, too.

He never liked Cake, and I can't tell you why, because my father's like, don't give people the title away. But it's on page 144 if you buy it. Want to skip to why the heck is it a brain injury book about cake? So he never liked Cake. And then I have a second book, which is called Move, Feel, Think, which is a beautifully illustrated guidebook for 20 yoga poses that bring out the physical because I went through that, the emotional because I went through that, and the cognitive benefits of a yoga practice. It's really a book that I wrote for my dad because yoga's helped him tremendously. That could be a whole other podcast, but it's also a book that ends up as I was writing. It changes shape. It changes form. It is not what I thought it would be. It a great book for beginners. It's a great book for someone just going through the trauma. And trauma takes so many different forms. It does not have to be an incident. It doesn't have to be something that the next person beside you can even understand. It's your trauma. It's your thing. It's your block, in a sense. It helps unblock. So, yeah, he never liked Cake and Moofilthink, and they're both on Amazon. You can find me on Facebook, and it's my first and new last name, so it's Jana Hawkinjess. And I'm on Twitter and Instagram Anacabana. So I. You know, social media can be kind of a pain in the butt, but, man, I've met cool people and made awesome connection, so it's probably the easiest way to connect with me. Yes.

Awesome. Yay. I'm so excited about your books, too. All right, are you ready? You have 30 seconds on an elevator with someone, 30 seconds, and they look at you and they say, how can I make myself happy? What do you say?

Oh, my gosh. I say spend at least three hours a week doing what you love and do something that physically engages you and mentally engages you and allows you just to spend time with yourself. And it might be really, really uncomfortable first, and that's totally fine. But after that moment of uncomfortableness is you kind of get somewhere, and getting somewhere is going to get you to happy. And my personal thing is yoga, so I'm going to be like, go do yoga. But you riding horses, you could like gardening, you could like a zillion other things. So Go find your thing.

I love that girl. You know, that's right up my alley. All right, you guys, thank you so much, Jana, for being on I so. I'm so grateful for everything that we've been through together.

So grateful. I'm so grateful to, like, we know each other and you come into my life. It's. It's awesome. It's connection is such an awesome thing.

It's everything. All right, you guys, if you love this episode as much as I did, make sure you share it. You tweet it, you shout it from the rooftops, and until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review. If you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to help. Helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys.

Bye. Bye.