106: Life Lesson From 15,000+ People That Will Make You Happier with Amy Newmark

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Welcome to the Earn your Happy Podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and calm clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the Earn your happy podcast and today I'm so excited for you to meet my guest, Amy Newmark. She is a writer, a speaker, she was a Wall street analyst and business executive in the world of finance and telecommunications for more than 30 years. But today she is a publisher, editor in chief, and co author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. So I love her sharing her story about coming from the world she was in before to now being credited revitalizing the Chicken Soup for the Soul brand. And some of the biggest questions I had for her were what drives her to get all of these stories out and what has she learned from Talking to over 15,000 people and reading 15,000 plus stories and editing them? What's the through line? What does she find? What is she most excited about? What are some of the main things that she's taken and applied in her life and really had these stories or found that these stories made such a massive impact? So you guys, what if you could talk to 15,000 people and hear about the journey and the trials and find out what happens on the other side and what all these people learn? Well, that's what you are going to find out about today. So let's get started. Amy, I'm so excited to have you on the show today. Thank you so much for coming on.

Oh, well, thanks for having me on. I'm very excited to talk to you.

So I loved really just digging into everything that you're doing right now and I have a special place in my heart for Chicken Soup for the Soul and I would love for you, just for our listeners who maybe aren't super familiar maybe with your name or with the books, if you could share a little bit about your story with us.

Well, sure. I came to Chicken Soup for the Soul when It was already 15 years old. My husband and I and a group of family and friends and different investors Bought Chicken Soup for the Soul from Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hanson, who were the founders of the company. And so that was the beginning of a complete reboot of my life as a self help publisher, editor in chief and author. Prior to that, I spent, oh boy, almost 30 years in the worlds of Wall street, finance, telecommunications. I was an executive on the board on a startup company's management team. I was on the boards of half a dozen technology companies publicly traded. So I've done a lot of different things before becoming the Chicken Soup for the Soul lady, as people tend to call me.

That is amazing. So what made you want to do that to take over Chicken Soup for the Soul?

My husband was looking for something new to do and we found out that Chicken Soup for the Soul was available. That Jack and Mark really were going to move on with their own separate careers from each other and this was a joint venture of theirs, but they had so much else they were doing separately and they thought it was time to put this in the hands of new people who could take it to the next level. And we had that vision and we knew we could execute on that and keep the books going, keep the legacy going of 101 stories from, you know, ordinary people who share extraordinary experiences. But also take all of that goodwill and those stories and that fabulous brand name and, and that whole mission of doing good and take it onto other platforms. So now we've expanded our. I don't know, it's kind of hard to believe, but we have a best selling line of dog food and cat food. Very high quality dog food and cat food. Well, because we care about our pets, right. And we use that line of food to create a lot of extra food that we donate for shelters and to rescue efforts. And then we also have gone into television now and so we have a show that's in its second season on CBS on Saturday mornings called Chicken Soup for the Hidden Heroes. And then we also have a show that's, I guess it's just finished up on tlc and now it's going to be running online on our subsidiary a.com and that's called Project dad. And it's about celebrity fathers who come off the road, you know, step out of the spotlight and stay home with their kids and take care of their kids and it's hilarious. And we have a whole online presence. So we have all these other things we're doing now with Chicken Soup for the Soul, besides our foundation, which is publishing roughly a book a month on all different topics.

Oh my gosh. That is so exciting. So for you, because it sounds like you also are running so much of it in logistics and probably really trying to get the best content out there. But what. Why is that important to you? Why is it so important that you get these stories out there?

These stories do so much good, and it makes me so happy to share them with people and the people who write them for us. I love our writers. They're the most selfless, giving people who write about these really personal experiences and share all of these intimate details with people they don't even know just to help them. And often they say we're their first confidants and they're sharing these stories with our readers. And they haven't even told these stories to their own family members, but they want to share their experiences because that's how we learn, right, from storytelling. Like, if you think back in history, it's really how mankind has always shared the best advice and wisdom and culture is through storytelling. So I get to do that on a massive scale, which is very fulfilling.

So what have these done for your life?

Well, everybody says I'm nicer now. I know. Like, it's like, oh, what was I before? Thank you. I guess that's a compliment. You know, it would be if they said, like, you're even nicer now. That would be better. But they just say, you're so nice now, thinking like, okay, then I guess that's a good thing. But I do think. I do think that reading all of these stories from people has made me more aware of the things I should be grateful for in my life, because I am exposed now to what other people go through. And, I mean, I grew up privileged. You know, I grew up like a white privileged girl in America and, you know, was educated well and traveled to Europe and went to Harvard and, you know, didn't have college loans. I mean, I didn't go through any kind of hardship, really. And so I've really been exposed to tens of thousands of stories where people didn't have it so easy. And it really does make you realize how blessed you are in your own life when you read about other people and what they go through, whether it's, you know, some kind of family crisis or a health crisis or a financial crisis or a disability or just plain bad luck. Whatever it is, you realize how lucky you are and how much other people need your help. And so you want to reach out and help them because you need to share. And so I think that all of that has affected me, and I'm More grounded. I'm more grateful. I'm way less judgmental of people and way more understanding of all of the different things that can cause people to act the way that they do.

I love that. That's been a huge takeaway for me, just even on this podcast. That's why I love this podcast is being able to get so many different perspectives is so beneficial for your own life. So, yeah, it's like personal coaching, right? All of the stories.

Well, it is. And it's weird. I sometimes find myself giving people advice and then they're saying like, you should be a psychologist. And then I realized by reading these tens of thousands of stories, it's like I've read all these case studies and it probably is in some ways similar to the training that a psychologist has, except that I don't know the names of all the different conditions. You know, they have a name for some, you know, this person is really anxious. They, I call the person anxious and they have a diagnosis for that condition.

Well, it's so powerful because it's finding it's, you know, stories are so powerful because we're able to find ourselves in them. And it's just that's when you can really start to transform, I think, is when you can relate on that human level.

Yeah, I mean, people mess up and we all do. And I guess another thing that you learn when you read this many Chicken Soup for the Soul stories is you learn to be more forgiving of yourself as well. And I think that's very healthy.

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Oh, that's beautiful. Yes, absolutely. So is there something, you know, a common I always love just hearing a plethora of stories and really learning about people. Is there a common like through line that you find that you tend to either hear about in every story or majority of stories? You know, maybe something that just connects all of us?

Yes. So the thing that I find that connects them is people saying I had no idea I was capable of this or I had no idea I had this much, much strength or fortitude. And so what I'VE gotten from that is that we all have the tools within us already. We can all be the mechanics for our own lives. And that's what I talk about a lot in my Simply Happy book. And in all of our books, all of our books are about self empowerment by pointing out to you that you already have what you need. And so all of these people write in their stories. I never thought I could live through such and such experience. I never, you know, and everybody finds out that when they need that inner strength, it's there waiting to be called on. And that is very, very encouraging for anybody who's about to undergo a crisis. For example, my mother died a month ago and so I'm going through a huge family crisis right now because my mother was the more capable of my two parents. And now we have my 87 year old father who is not as capable. And we're in, my family's in a complete uproar now trying to. We've got 24 hour care for my father and we're trying to move him to an assisted living. And you don't know, I remember thinking years ago I made books about family caregiving and Alzheimer's and all these different things. And I made books about all of this and thought, oh, I don't know how I would deal with that. And now I am dealing with it. And I'm probably using a lot of what I've learned from the Chicken Soup for the Soul stories. But I'm also discovering what all of our writers tell us, which is that you do have it within you. You can deal with this stuff. So we're dealing, we're dealing with it.

So what are you finding from the stories? Because how many stories do you think that you've read? Just guesstimate.

So let's see, I've published 136 or 140 books sometime, something like that. So that's about 14,000 stories that I've personally edited. My gosh, I know that's just what I've edited. But then I've read, I've read so many more that didn't make it into the books. And then I've read all the old books. So that's more than 10,000 stories. So I probably read, I would say 25 to 30,000 stories that we've actually published, plus tens of thousands more that were submitted to us that we didn't publish. So I've had a lot of exposure to a lot of humanity. And that's many. I mean, that's probably 15,000 people you know, because some people read more than one story, but I probably read the intimate details of some aspect of 15,000 different people's lives.

Wow. So let me see if I can phrase this question right. So how, you know, if people knew what was on the other side of these enormous challenges or these massive life disrupting moments, if people knew what was on the other side? Because you got to read, you know, 15,000 plus stories of what's on the other side of these, you know, what do you, what would you tell them is on the other side? The growth, the power? What would that be to get them through?

So that is a great question because that's exactly what people get from reading these stories. And I don't even care really which book they read. They could pick up any one of our books. Because what you learn from reading one of these as you read stories about people handling situations is, oh, everybody comes out the other side. You always will come out the other side and you will always be able to look back and say, wow, I really grew as a result of that. Wow, I'm more powerful than I thought. Wow. I really bonded with these other people as a result of that experience. I could see five silver linings in that experience. I'm proud of myself, whatever it is. I mean, we have books that are so powerful that we had to edit them in tiny doses because they were just so moving. For example, we have a book called Find you'd Inner Strength that we could really only do like 10 stories at a time because we would just be sitting there tearing up and just being shaken by the stories. And yet when you finish a book like that, you are so aware of everybody's power to make it through and the fact that everybody does make it through. And that's so important because then when you get into one of these situations, you can say, all right, I know this really stinks. This seems impossible. I don't know how I'm going to live through this, but I'm remembering all those other stories that I read and all those other people made it through. So why would I be any different? I guess I'm going to make it through too. And here's what it does. It makes you even more powerful. You probably get through faster. And you also don't feel sorry for yourself because you know, everybody else has been through the same thing. And therefore, when you're not feeling sorry for yourself, you're actually way more productive, efficient, and better at getting through whatever the situation is.

Oh my goodness, yes. Because you're not having that, you know, those thoughts where the energy is just draining from your body. So you're. You're personally in the middle of something right now. And then, you know, all of the people who are probably reaching for your books and your new book, which we're going to talk about in a minute, but for the people who are in the middle of it, who are listening right now, you know, what is your best advice? Is it to go and listen to as many stories as you can, or is it to, you know, what would that be?

Well, if you don't have time to read our stories, obviously I'd like you to. But if you don't have time, just remember that you shouldn't take this personally. It's not about you and the thing that's happening to you, whether it's an illness, whether it's a death, whether it's a divorce, whether it's that you were dumped at the altar, whatever it is. There are 5 million other people going through this right now. You are not alone. And it's not being done to you. Nobody's doing it to you. It's just that stuff happens, and it's your turn to have stuff happens, and 5 million other people are going through it and will come out of it, and so will you come out of it better, right? Yeah, a lot of people. I mean, it's amazing to me when people, like, they have cancer and then they come out of it saying they're a better person, and they're almost glad that they had cancer. And I have never had anything more than, you know, skin cancer. And so I can't even imagine what that would be like. But it is amazing how many people say that even going through cancer, they come out feeling empowered and almost glad that it happened to them because of the new person they are when it's over. Not that. Not that I think that makes sense. I. They don't want to have that.

I totally understand. My dad recently had a stroke, which hopefully he'll make a full recovery from potentially in the next year. But in the moments that it happens, it's like, why? Why, why, why? And that doesn't get you anywhere for, you know, you can sit in it, and you need to. And you need to just, you know, realize what's going on and let it. Let yourself experience it. But, you know, it was afterward that we started saying, okay, well, how could this. How could this have happened for us? Like, okay, well, now you're gonna really start paying attention to your food and your life and your relationships and really Focusing on, you know, doing things that you love for once. Because I don't know if he would have. I don't know if. If they would have started focusing on that.

My mother had a stroke a few years ago, and I was with her when she had it. She started saying all these really weird things. And I keep telling people, if you're with somebody who starts saying weird things, go to the hospital immediately. Get that TPA drug. Did your father get the tpa?

Oh, I'm not sure.

Yeah, it's a drug that stops the stroke. It's like if you were erasing a hard disk, it stops it from erasing. But my mother, two weeks after her stroke, we went to the Mets game. She had her stroke on the way to the Mets game. And two weeks after her stroke, she was back at the Mets, but she was afraid she'd have another stroke because she was at the Mets, which I would think a lot of fans would have said that about the Mets back then. But anyway, her solution was to buy a gigantic margarita and sip it during the entire game. And for the next few years, every single time she went to the Mets, she bought a gigantic margarita.

That's amazing.

I know she was in her mid-80s, but she was sipping this gigantic margarita every night.

That lady's got the right idea right there. Okay, so you have a new book, Simply Happy, which I love that name. My podcast is Earn youn Happy. So Simply Happy is perfect. And I would love for you to tell us what made you happy. Why this book? Why now?

So what happened was that when we bought the company in 2008, I read all the old books. So that was, you know, 10,000 plus stories that I read. And it changed me. I mean, just reading the old books before I even started making the new ones, it was like a crash course in Chicken Soup for the Soul advice and wisdom. And then I just kept going, and people said to me, you got to put all of this together in one book. And so this book is slimmer than most of our books. It's a. It's a fast read. It's in 26 chapters so that you can read one at a time. And it's just. It's. It's my best. Best advice that I have gleaned from all of those tens of thousands of Chicken Soup for the Soul stories and from my rather eclectic life, and it's me passing them on. So it's like a gigantic Chicken Soup for the Soul story where I'm sharing with everybody my best advice. Extremely usable tips and they're all consistent with my philosophy, which is that you already have your tools inside you. And so I don't believe you have to go and take seminars or fill out journals for weeks on end or do anything else. I believe that most of my happiness tips can be implemented in one second just by tweaking your perspective and just by deciding you're going to think about something differently.

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I'm just reading your table of contents, and it is, like, so specific and beautiful, and everybody can relate or has questions around everything that you talk about. Is there one that stands out to you that you're just like? For me, this was such a big lesson.

Well, I think there are two. Two of the chapters. One is about gratitude and one is about forgiveness. I think those are things that you have to have in you in order to be happy, because without gratitude, without being aware of what's good about your life, I don't see how you can be happy. And then without forgiveness and that ability to shed resentments and bitterness, again, I don't know how you can truly be happy. And so I talk about those two things in the book because those. Those are just fundamental, in my opinion. And both of those can be achieved just by deciding. Right? Forgiving somebody can be accomplished in one second. You just have to decide. I'm over it. I'm putting it behind me. I don't even know why I ever took it personally. That person was really angry at somebody else or angry at his life or angry at the person before me and, you know, took it out on me, but it wasn't really about me. But I look at lack of forgiveness as trying to walk through life wearing, like, this huge, heavy cloak, you know, like a. A king's cloak from medieval times, you know, this big, heavy thing. And it's just covered with resentments and bitterness and disappointments. And then just shrug that cloak off and let it fall behind you onto the ground, and you walk forward free. I personally do not hold on to resentments because I just decide that the people weren't really doing it to me. It wasn't about me, and therefore I'm not going to carry it around with me because it wasn't me that they were. They weren't being bad for me, so. So that I never have that hanging over me. And then the gratitude thing, it comes naturally to about half of us. The ability to see the silver linings. And then the other half of us, it's an Easily acquired skill. It's one of those traits you don't have to be born with. If you just start to pay attention to the good things in your life, write down three things a day. You're grateful for that kind of thing. Before you know it, you will be incorporating gratitude into your life, seeing the blessings. And you'll have a much sunnier disposition. You'll have a better relationship with people because they'll want to be with you, because you'll be happy, not negative. And so those are two blanket, I would say, New Year's resolutions that everybody should make since it's still that time of year.

It is. It feels so far away, but it is so, you know, forgiveness and gratitude. So these are two things that are absolutely life changing. But at the same time, some people get stuck in some of the details around it. So I'll give you an example. Like with gratitude, being grateful. Sometimes people think like being grateful for a crap job that they have right now is going to bring, you know, keep them stuck in this job, where usually it's the opposite. So what have you found around getting people to be grateful even when they feel like they're living in something that they don't love? What does that bring?

You can still find things to be grateful for each day. And what I tell people if they're stuck in a job they don't like is that's not you. That's just a thing that you do for eight hours a day or whatever it is. So when you go there, you just do it. You do that job. But that's not the real you. You still have to have some passion outside your job, something that you love doing. Even if you just get an hour a day to go and do this thing you're really passionate about. I mean, we do, oh my gosh, we publish so many stories about people rebooting their lives and finally, you know, exiting those jobs that they hate and moving on to something they can really feel passionate about. But I realize that's not always practical immediately. So I think that it's only part of your day. I mean, I don't know. When people write down their blessings, it's amazing. Like, we get so many stories from people who do have, say, the awful job that they hate, and yet they still find three things a day to write down that they're grateful for. And it has to be three different things each day. And at the end of a month, they've written down 90 things, 90 distinct things they're grateful for. And then it puts it in perspective. And they're like, okay, well, I do that thing. I don't love eight hours a day, but look at all the good things that happen as I'm going to work. Look at the things that happen when I'm done with work. Look what happens when I'm at home. Look what happens on the weekends. And they can find the ability to be very grateful for the rest of their lives.

I love that. So you also talk in this book. You're talking about the power of no. And this is such a. A powerful topic for people, and especially women. So can we expand on that? So why did you have to make sure you covered that?

Well, yeah, that is a really important topic. And in fact, I did a whole book about that with Burke Charvet last year called the Joy of Less, which is really about using the power of no to both declutter your calendar and also declutter your home. And the idea is that you got to get rid of all the stuff that doesn't matter so that you can make room for the things that do matter. And you got to get stuff off your calendar that doesn't matter to you so you can make room for the people and the activities that do matter to you. And people are afraid to do it. And women especially, as you said, we. We like to be nice and we like to be helpful, and if somebody asks us to help with something, we want to say yes. And women can get to the point of being, like, physically and mentally unhealthy because they are overwhelmed by all the obligations that they've taken on. And so we have so many stories from women who basically were in therapy to learn how to say no. And then when they finally said no to somebody, like, no, I'm not going to bake cupcakes for the sale, or, no, I'm not going to volunteer on that committee for that charity that I don't even really care about. When they finally broke the ice and they said no and the world didn't end, it was so empowering to them. And it's not that people became less busy. It's that they cleared their calendar to then do the things that really mattered to them. I mean, we had women who maybe were saying yes to eight different volunteer activities during the course of a year, and really there was only one. They really wanted to focus just on working at the dog shelter. And so they cleared everything else, and they focused just on the one volunteer activity they were really passionate about, or they learned how to exit a toxic relationship and get rid of a Friend who was really more of a frenemy and clear their calendar to spend time with the people who really did add value to their lives.

Wow. That it's so powerful because we just want to be. We associate so much of it with being loved and liked and, you know, needed. And what happens if we say no? Are we going to be loved anymore? So what, you know, what are some of the things that some of these stories or yourself has. Has thought of in order to be able to say no? Because when that time comes, it is hard.

You feel.

Feel it all through your body of like, oh, my gosh, I might, like, be cast out if I say no. So what's something we can focus on?

First of all, the repercussions of saying no are so much less onerous than we fear they're going to be. And that's what people tell us. One woman, she always said yes because she always was called to do everything. And obviously she was very important because it seemed like she was always the first person called to help out every place. And she was in therapy. I mean, it was killing her, all these activities. And she finally got up her courage one day and she said no to somebody who had called her, asking her to help with some kind of volunteer activity. And the woman said, oh, okay, that's fine. I'll just go down the list. And then our lady realized that her last name started with A.

Oh, my. Everybody out there with the A's.

Yeah, years. She'd been through years and years of this. But we had other ladies whose last names did not start with A who still also had to get up their courage to say no. And. And they discovered that really and truly, like, the world did not spin off its axis. They would just say to somebody, I mean, and you can just say, I'm really sorry I can't bake cupcakes for this event. But give me a call in June and I'll try to cook. Bake cupcakes for the end of school event. Well, it wouldn't. The call would never come. I personally, I remember when I was, you know, a young mother, I would always volunteer to bring the paper goods because that was so much easier. You know, like, I try to. I'd try to grab one of the easy things to do, but people really will understand if you just give them an explanation. You say, I'm really sorry, but I promised my husband I would go out on a date with him. Or I promised my kids I would spend two uninterrupted hours with them, or I Mean, you can be brutally honest and say, my head's going to explode. I need two hours to binge watch something on Netflix. Like, you can be honest.

We need those times.

But people will accept it, and they probably will be thinking, oh, God, I should be doing that. Why am I running this committee? I should be like her.

I actually had a woman say to me who was reaching out to have me on her podcast, like, over and over. And at the time, I just did not. I was prepping for a. A live event, and I had said no to her, like, in a really, like, firm but loving way where it was like, no, I absolutely can't do it until, you know, further notice or my schedule frees up. And she was like, that was. I saved that email because I was saying yes to everything. And it was just such a clear, powerful way to say no that sometimes we just are missing the script to say no. So when you tell people no, I know that, you know, the quote, no is a complete sentence. Are there some things that you. Maybe a script that you use, you know, that makes it feel easier for you?

I always tell them the truth. That's what I do. Because I have to turn down so many things. People are always coming to me. They want me to write forwards for their books, or they want me to give them blurbs for their books, or they want me to speak at different events. I'm constantly being asked, and I just. I say no. And then sometimes they won't take no for an answer. You know, I'll say no, I'm sorry, I can't publish your book because we only publish Chicken Soup for the Soul books. And then they'll send me the manuscript. At a certain point, I just start to ignore them. I mean, we have a guy who wants us to publish a book on a certain topic that it's a very, very tiny topic without enough people interested in it to make it at all possible for us to do it. And he's been barraging us for months with his request that we publish a book on this particular topic. And we are now at the point where we just have to ignore him because there's nothing we can say. He won't accept no for an answer. But that's so rare. I mean, maybe 1, 1, 10 of 1% of people won't take no for an answer. And everybody else really appreciates the honesty.

So good. And it's so true. Like, when people are honest with me, or they're like, I really want to spend more time with my family, or there's so much to be said about that, too, because it frees us. It really shows us. Yes, this is important. Family time is important, or time for yourself or whatever it is you need. And I think that's becoming a really just a popular topic, is making sure that you know you're taking care of yourself. So truth is really freeing not only for you, but also to pay that forward to other people. So what is some other of your favorite topics in here? Because honestly, there's so many good ones that, I mean, I definitely am going to be finishing this book. So.

Yeah, so here's, here's one of the topics. And this might sound inconsistent, but this is I have this chapter called the Power of no. And then near the end of the book, I have a chapter called A Life of yes, yes, yes. And here's why I do believe so much in stepping outside your comfort zone. It really opens up the world to you. And so I'm saying no to putting the things on my calendar that shouldn't be there or to undertaking obligations that I really shouldn't be doing. But that doesn't mean you don't say yes to new and interesting things. I mean, I'm always trying to expose myself to new things. I went to Boston over the weekend to see my son and his wife, and he lives a few minutes walk from the Christian Science Center. It was founded in Boston. There's a huge Christian Science center there. And I said, let's go to the Christian Science center and take the tour and learn about the Christian Science Church. Why not? And so we did it. It was very interesting. But I'm always trying to do new and different things. I particularly like to do things that are initially scary or things where I'm sure I'm not going to like them, and then I do them. And it makes you feel so good when you do something you were afraid to do, and then you do it and you accomplish it and you don't have to ever do it again. But it was great to force yourself to do something. And I think we all have to fight that tendency to get stuck in a rut to say, well, I've never done it, so I don't want to try it, or I've never eaten that food, but I'm sure I wouldn't like it, or I've never watched that channel on television, so I'm not going to try it. You know, force yourself to watch a new channel for a whole hour one day, like, explore what's out there. You know, eat a food I started forcing myself to eat avocados. Now, you live in Southern California, so you will born liking avocados. But I thought they were mushy and disgusting, and I just forced myself to like them. And I had avocado toast two mornings for breakfast last week. And you have to really like avocados to eat avocado toast because you're just eating only avocado. And I did it. And it was great.

Yes.

But, you know, it's part of saying yes to everything.

I have a super simple one that just totally. I did a podcast with a guy who plays Monopoly with his kids to help them learn about money. And he's. He was telling the story in such an intriguing way. And if you know me, one of the things you may know is that I hate Monopoly. I would not play Monopoly. And my husband is obsessed with it because he loves money, he loves banking, he loves numbers. He just loves that whole world. And last night, for the first time ever, I played Monopoly. Like, I sat down and there was so much resistance. I know this sounds so stupid, but I was like, I hate this game. Like, it seems so stupid. And I ended up playing it for two hours and had a blast and want to play it again. So that's perfect.

Oh, my gosh, you're awesome. That's so great that you did that. That's exactly the right way to step outside your comfort zone.

And my husband was like, thank you so much for playing.

Just.

He was so appreciative that I did something that he'd been wanting me to do for years too. And it opened my eyes even more because I try to step out of my comfort zone too. But what has been one for you that maybe, maybe the biggest one that you did not want to do, that you can recall that also had a big reward attached to it after.

Oh, my gosh, it just happened in November. So what happened was my husband and I were going on a trip last year. We were going to Oman and Dubai. And it was our. It was gonna be our third time in Dubai, our first time in Oman. And it was like a real adventure vacation. Oman is very sporty, you know, like the mountains and the hiking and the water sports and everything. And this resort we were to in Oman, the way you get there, it's. It's. Oman is like these mountain cliffs that go right down to the water, and then there's a little beach squeezed in there. And so to get to the resort, you either had to go down this five mile, like, winding, terrifying road or go by Speedboat or parasail paraglide in from the top of a thousand foot cliff. And so last March, I booked it like a week before we were going, or it was. Maybe it was even days before we were going. I think it was just a few days before we were going. I booked it. And so I signed us up for the paragliding because I think I signed us up like on a Sunday, and we were getting there on Wednesday. So I thought, this is great. I'll have no time to think about this. We're just going to do it. And then Dubai had this unbelievable rainstorm, and believe it or not, our vacation in the desert was rained out because they got like a year's worth of rain in three hours or something. And they were water skiing on all the main streets, so we couldn't go. So the whole vacation got moved to November. So instead of having like four days to think about Paris, sailing, paragliding off the cliff, I had, you know, eight months to think about it. But anyway, we went in November. I had put it in my book. I had tweeted about it. I had told the whole world I was doing it so I would be forced to do it, right? And I thought, like, I would never jump out of an airplane because I'm afraid of the strings on a parachute, like, somehow not working. But I thought, well, this is going to be like some kind of fixed wing thing. And we get up to the top of the cliff and they're, you know, strapping me into this thing, this harness thing. And I look behind me and there's this, like, flimsy little piece of fabric lying on the ground with a million strings coming out of it. I said, oh, my God, paragliding parachute. I am such an idiot. And the next thing I knew, they were like, the most important thing is you have to run off the cliff. Do not stop because it will not fill with air if you stop. You have to keep running off the cliff. And then my pilot, you know, you're like harness to somebody. This gigantic Bulgarian guy is behind me, so he's running. So I'm forced to run like a cartoon character with my legs practically in the air. And off we went, and we were fine. We soared around for 15 minutes. Although I was clutching, like I was. I was thinking, like, what is wind shear? And what could I. Could that happen now? Like, I was trying to remember, what is wind shear? It's like a Jeopardy question, you know? But anyway, I did it. But I don't have to ever do it again, right?

That just made me nervous. Like, just you telling them story. I was trying to picture if I could run. Like, maybe if the man was behind me.

Like, he was behind me and he was like, the worst thing you could do is stop, because then the little flimsy piece of material will not fill up with air. You have to keep running.

Oh, my gosh. Okay.

I know I'm not doing it again, but I'm really glad that I did it once.

Well, it sounds like. It definitely sounds like a part of me is curious, but I. You might have just quenched that for me, but, yeah, that is amazing. Okay, so when you landed on the ground, what were your first thoughts?

I don't ever have to do that again.

Hallelujah. But what an awesome story.

Yeah. So. So, I mean, that's good, because I'm gonna be 60 this year, and I am determined to keep doing new and different things. Do not get stuck in a rut, because if you stop doing new things, your world just gets narrower and narrower, and it's even like, okay, I've never used Snapchat. I should probably use Snapchat. Use all the new stuff on your computer. Watch the new channels. Go shop at a different grocery store. Don't go to the same one where, you know where everything is. Force yourself to go to four different grocery stores and explore them and see what else is out there. You know, just try to do everything different.

Oh, I love that. Because there's so much about, like, we just get into this routine and this rut and this habit, and you can almost, like, go to the store and drive home and not even know what you just did. You ever had those moments where you're like, did I just go and do that and get home? That's scary.

Go to a different grocery store with your husband, and I swear it will feel like a date. It will be something different.

It's so true. It's so true. Okay, so what is one thing that you are so excited to say yes to this year?

Let me think about what I'm going to do this year. What am I going to be excited to say yes to? I'm trying to think about that now because I do so many different things. What am I going to do this year that's different? Because last year I started my podcast, so that was a new and different thing. Oh, I'm gonna become a grandmother.

Oh, that's so exciting.

Yeah, so that's happening in June, so that will be mind blowing and so different. And I don't even know, like, I've been thinking about it, and people say you just don't know what it feels like until it actually happens. So, yeah, so that's happening in June. So that will probably be the most mind blowing thing that happens this year.

Are you gonna be near your grandbaby?

An hour and a half away.

Okay, that's pretty good.

Not close enough.

You know, I was gonna say, what are you gonna say no to in order to spend more time?

We have four children and she's the closest one, the one who's an hour and a half away. So she's the good one. She's our favorite because she's the closest. But none of them are close enough.

Said every mother. Right? None of them.

That's right. That's right. They're all rotten children. They should all be looking.

So what do you feel like you're gonna have to clear or say no to in order to spend more time?

I keep trying to become more efficient, but I don't think I can say no to anything else. I think I've already cleared the way.

Oh, good for you.

Yeah, I think I've already done it.

See how beautiful that is, though, is you're just you. The more that you say no, the easier it is. Right?

Yeah. I think also I can just use my job as an excuse. I'm on a book deadline.

It's so true.

That makes them go. It's like a surgeon saying, I'm sorry, I have to go cut somebody open now. It sounds very impressive.

You know, all right, everybody, write a book, get a deadline. It's the perfect excuse.

Oh, it's a total excuse. It really is.

Oh, okay, Amy, so what, where can we find you? Where can we get your books? Where can we follow you so you.

Can follow me on Twitter? Amy Newmark? Some days I forget to tweet it all. Some days I'm good about it. You can follow Chicken Soup for the Soul. You can go to chickensoup.com, our website, and see everything. My book, Simply Happy is at Rite Aid, drugstores, Walmart, Barnes and Noble, Amazon, every place. You can find all our books, wherever books are sold. And really any of them, they're all worth reading because they all have those same themes that you and I discussed today. And I have a podcast, the Chicken Soup for the Soul podcast, which I love.

I just listened to a couple today, and thank you so much for coming on. I really appreciate your time and all that you've done and the effort that you put in to get these stories out there, because they truly are changing lives. So I just want to acknowledge you for the work that you do.

Well. Thank you. And I'm going to have you come on my podcast also, because I think it'll be very interesting to hear all of the things that you have learned. I think you'll be very helpful to my listeners.

Oh, I would love that. I would absolutely love that. So I always end with a final question. Are you ready?

Okay.

Okay. So if you have a quick elevator ride with somebody and it's about 30 seconds long and they look over at you and they say, how can I make myself happy? What do you say?

Write down three things you're grateful for every day. They have to be different each day. For put them in a box and at the end of the month, open up the box and read them all.

So beautiful. Thank you so much. And you guys, if you love this episode as much as I did, make sure you share it. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review. If you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment, tell us what you think, Tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye. Bye.