127: Gratification Won't Be Enough To Last, You're Missing This

Foreign. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast and it is time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And you guys, I'm so excited. We had over 20,000 women on this 14 day free consistency challenge and it is being rolled into another challenge. So if you guys did not do the 14 day challenge, you can go right now to lorihutter.com for forward slash workouts and you can check out what we have going on there. I am starting a 60 day challenge which begins May 1, so you can check that out. Also, if you have not looked at the bliss habit yet, this is everything that I have ever done self development wise in the beginning to build a really solid foundation. So if you want to learn about how to build a beautiful gratitude practice, if you want to incorporate meditations in your day, if you want to bust through your blocks and really figure out what it is that's stopping you and create those affirmations, ideas and plans around breaking through, you're gonna wanna check out the bliss habit.com and join that incredible tribe of women. You immediately will be adopted into this beautiful group of people who are moving forward together. There's vlogs, there's meditations, there is homework, and it is go at your own pace. So you guys, I want to talk to you about something that I always say, what do you want to hear about? What do you want to hear? I'd love to get your feedback and I had a few people write me and say, you know, now that you are dancing again and playing guitar. So if you guys don't know, I started guitar lessons once a week, it's only 45 minutes a week. And I've also started dance lessons which again, it's only 45 minutes a week. And I started these things almost as a challenge for myself right now because this is the busiest time of my life. I've never Been busier. And that's just an honest statement. I actually hate the word busy. I try not to use it because if you guys know, one of my favorite affirmations that I always say in my head is, life is fun and easy, and there's plenty of time for everything. So this is something that I say all the time because I really believe that if we stay completely present, there is enough time for everything and if we have really great boundaries. So why on earth would I start taking guitar lessons and dance lessons when this is the busiest point in my life? I'm writing a book. I'm writing a TED Talk. I have a network marketing company that I help run. I have my challenges that I do. I'm revamping a website right now. There's just a whole lot of stuff going on, along with a lot of family things that are coming up right now. But what I realized is that if I don't start doing the things that I enjoy right now, I am never going to do them. Because guess what? Looking at your life, you know that life does not get less busy. We say, when this happens or when the book is written or when this talk is done, or when this thing passes, well, guess what? The next thing comes up, the next goal happens, the next thing that you can't turn down happens, the next thing in your family comes up, and these things are always going to happen. So I will never be any less busy, most likely. So if I keep postponing, Joy, I am never going to do the things that I actually really want to do to fill my soul. And it's not that those other things don't, because they absolutely 100% do. But I'm also talking about those fun and playful things that have been on your bucket list forever that you're postponing until. Until. Until. Until this is over. Until this passes. So I challenge you. Where is it that you can fit 45 minutes for something that you really love? Whether it's getting to the beach or whether it's a coffee date with a friend or piano lessons or singing lessons or dance lessons. Whatever it is, you're going to have to choose it. So here's how this works. You can be sitting here saying, yes, I'm gonna do that. Absolutely. And the second this podcast is over, you're like, you know what? I don't really want to do that. Because when it comes down to actually making the appointment and when it comes down to actually showing up, what happens is there's a lot of resistance. So with this chat Today, what I want you to know is if there's something on your bucket list that has been pulling at you, number one, we're going to pick one right now, so get it in your head and you're going to start it now. Because there isn't going to be a better time than right now. So if you don't start it this week, what I want you to do right at this very moment is know that you're never going to do it. I know I'm so harsh, but I'm just being really real with you. If you don't decide to do it now, right now, you are never going to do it because there's not going to be a better time. And you may not have the money and things may not get better. So take whatever it is that you have or reallocate or start planning fun, even if you can't afford it. Do something that's free for fun. Then that is on your bucket list, right? So maybe do that game night that you've been wanting to do. Maybe do those arts and crafts, maybe start journaling, drawing, writing. What is it? Listening to music, going to a jazz club. But here's the thing, is that you have to plan it right now. And once you plan it, number one, while you plan it, you're going to feel resistance around it. You're not even going to want to plan it, most likely, because planning it means you're going to have to do a little bit of work and a little bit of research. And then what happens when you start planning, thinking about planning it and planning it, you're going to go, wait a minute. Oh, this is really uncomfortable. I'm no good. Maybe I'm older and I'm starting this new thing and this seems so overwhelming. Why do I even bother? I only have 45 minutes a week. Someone said to get good. It's going to take me playing every single day. Okay, let go of the attachment. That time is just for you. Whatever it is, it's just for you. With no focus on the outcome. It's focus on the fact that you're doing something that you desire to do that fills your soul. All right, so we have the appointment. We have set time for the appointment. My appointments are in the evening because they're the only time that they work. And guess what happens every time 6:30 on Wednesday for my dance lesson comes around, and every time 6:00 clock on Thursday for my guitar lesson comes, I want to cancel more than I can say. I don't want to go and Be uncomfortable in front of my teacher. I don't want to say that I didn't practice as much as I wanted to. I don't want to go and start dancing when I'm freaking exhausted from my day. There's so much resistance around it that I just want to say, you know what? Who gives a crap? I don't really care if I can salsa dance. I don't really care if I can play the guitar. And then what happens is I think about if I cancel that class, it means I'm going to cancel the next class and the next class, and then it means I am never going to do that thing. Thing that I want to do. And it means that I'm gonna go back to that feeling that I'm postponing my joy once again. So you guys have to decide, and then you have to plan it, and then every time it comes up on your calendar, you have to choose it. So tonight I have my salsa class, and I'm tired, and I don't want to go, and my body's tired, and I don't feel like going and learning something new. But every I am done. My soul is so full. I feel so good. I love seeing the progress. I love feeling fulfilled. I love evolving as a human being. I love getting challenged. And while it may not feel great even while I'm there, sometimes the after or maybe two classes later or three classes later, I'm like, oh, my God, I'm really getting better. And this really feels good. And how awesome that I'm gonna be able to sals dance. Or I now have the option to go out on the dance floor at a wedding and feel really good about it or go to a dance club or, you know, just be able to do something really cool and know that I have this in my back pocket. And also, it's just a beautiful way to express yourself. And what I've really learned is as much as we, you know, can just say, well, maybe I'll go for a walk. That'll feel just as good. And while all these things are amazing and they are super important, I really find that if you're not doing things that evolve you, the gratification doesn't necessarily last. So if you're looking for things that really fulfill you that are on your bucket list, it needs to evolve you. It needs to push you a little bit. It needs to be something where you feel uncomfortable maybe while you learn right. And sometimes that might even be play for some people. So I think play is a really important part of human evolution. So even if you don't take a class at first, or maybe it's not in the budget budget quite yet, which you have to have an abundant mindset, right? It's going to be in the budget.

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With Shopify by your side, you could be scheduling play time. So for some people, they're like, no, there's no time for play. Then you really need to play. You need to just go to the beach or get outside or go play some board games or go play volleyball or go do something that makes you forget about any of the stress or any of the pressure that maybe you have in your life. You need to just go play and be silly and be goofy and be a kid. I don't know, go buy a bike with streamers on it and, and find a sweet jump you can take it off of. I don't know what that is for you. Hula hooping in the park? I don't know. I live in California. Everything is possible. I mean, honestly, I was running today and a couple of guys who were probably in their 60s and 70s went by on roller skates and they were jamming out to music and literally having the best time ever. They looked super young, they had ripped bods and I was like, you know what the secret play they get out, they roller skate, they have fun, they listen to this kick ass music and they're making time for it. It's not that they don't have things going on or maybe they don't have jobs. You guys, people make time for it. So we can either look at those people and say must be nice or we can know that it is a priority to them to go and fill their soul up. Because all of the other things that you do are going to be so much better and more enriched. You're going to be more fulfilled. You're going to come at that job that maybe you don't love little bit more love because you don't resent it as much because you're actually feeling fulfilled in a different way. So that's a question I get from a lot of different people is Just, you know, what if I don't love my job right now? Or what if there's a situation in my life that I don't love? Guess what? We all have situations in our lives that we don't love. But if you're not having any other focus in your life or soul filling moments, then the focus of something that is, you know, maybe eating at you or you don't enjoy, that's going to be the focal point for you. That's going to feel the biggest. That's going to feel like it's robb you of everything else. But it's a choice. It's a choice if you are not creating time for something else. You need to be fierce with your schedule. Cut something away, tell somebody no, even if it's painful. You guys, you must fill your soul first because your happiness is what change changes the world and your family. So if your kids are watching you be really unhappy. If your spouse is watching you be super unhappy. If everyone at your job is like, like, whoa, she is really crabby to be around or, or he or she or whatever. You guys owe it to them and you owe it to yourself to show up a more fulfilled person. And when you do that, that is when the opportunities come. That is when you start thinking more creatively. That is when abundant opportunities come your way. But it can't do that when you are looking at everything as a drag or resistance. That's what you're attracting more of. So one little thing a week. I'm not saying go out and do what I'm doing. I'm saying go out and make at least 45 minutes a week for something that you've been wanting to do that's gonna evolve your soul. Is it a pottery class? Is it journaling? Is it a writing class? I highly recommend going to something where there's other people as well, because being with those other people, those other souls is really gonna elevate you. Having a strong connection to human beings and a tribe, it's one of the things that literally they find makes people live longer and really have a healthier life, healthier immune system and feel happier is feeling more connected to a tribe of people. So we can do that and mix it with play and get the bonus of everything. So you guys, you're gonna feel the resistance, you're gonna not wanna do it. And I beg of you to follow through for yourself. All right, you guys, I'm so grateful to have you tune into this podcast and it just really means the world to me that you give the feedback that you do because you help me create amazing things and also get incredible conversations from some of the most epic human beings out into the world that really, really is changing the way that people think. So again, I just want to thank you and for sure if you want to connect on Instagram or Facebook, it is Lori harder. And you know that I love to hear your ideas about about episodes or what you thought about something. So until next time you guys, earn your happy. Bye everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye bye.