133: FIVE WAYS to be POSITIVE Around NEGATIVE People

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Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

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Here we go. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast and it is time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And this episode is brought to you by my bliss habit E course. It is@theblisshabit.com and that is a 12 week e course, you guys, where you get to join this incredible tribe of amazing women that has been created. There's thousands of awesome women who are going through all of this coursework at their own pace. So every single week you get a new lesson along with seven hours of video training. Throughout the 12 weeks you get a weekly meditation. And it is also a place where you share your wins, you share what you're going through and it really is the place to up level your life. So it's all of the foundational things that I have gone through and done in order to reach all of my goals. It's really about having a gratitude practice and getting intentional and clearing your space and really understanding what is holding you back and creating that beautiful place, that launchpad for you. So go to theblisshabit.com to learn more about that. And on today's quickie, I just got a message from somebody and she gave me a brilliant idea for this topic. She asked me, what, what do I do? How do I stay positive if I always have to be around negative people? Now at this point in my life, I have a lot of positivity around me, but of course there's still negativity that comes in, whether it's on the street or via the Internet or family or maybe some certain friends or whatever that is, right? We're always going to deal with it. But back when I was really on my path, whatever you wanna call it, my self development path, my spiritual journey, in the beginning I dealt with so much negativity, it's pretty much all that I had around me was negative people. So I went back to this place to really try to think about what I do when I was in a relationship or in relationships with people and constantly surrounded by negative people. And I came up with five different things that are going to give you an idea of what I did that are gonna help you deal with maybe those negative people in your. And number one is to know what you can control. I know this is a no brainer, this is an obvious one, but sometimes the obvious stuff doesn't mean that we are doing it. So when you're in a negative situation, you have to understand that you can only control what you can control. And that is you. So that's you, that's what you're thinking and that is your reactions to what is going on. So number two, ask yourself what is the most beneficial reaction you can have for yourself? Because in those situations we understand that that negative person, that might be a default setting, that might be their home base, right? Negativity might be just where they're at, where their brain is programmed to always go to always talk about, to connect over, to bond over. So you need to ask yourself, what is the most beneficial reaction that I have for myself? And this moves into number three while still being compassionate, right? So number three is be compassionate and maybe ask them how you can help or just keep it really brief because negativity feeds off of attention. So if we can just say I'm so sorry to hear that, and then you're going to do the most beneficial thing for yourself, right? So what would that be? Would that be removing yourself from the situation? Would that be not feeding it anymore? Would that be staying silent? Would that just nodding your head? Would that be excusing yourself? Would that be saying, oh, I have to go to the bathroom or just, you know, switching the subject? So you guys, when, if you know you're going into a negative situation, some of the things that you can do is know that you have that compassionate sentence ready. You know, I'm so, I'm so sorry to hear this, or I'm so sorry to hear that that happened. How are, what, what are you excited about anything right now? Or is there anything going good in your life or what's good for you right now? Right? What's going. Now Maybe just try to switch gears. And number four, this is not for the week though, you guys. This is for the people who are ready. Like you just can't deal with the negativity anymore. Maybe it's in a relationship, someone that you love or in the workplace, but you're going to have to do this again. Let's take number three in a very loving, compassionate way, right? You're going to have to have the intention behind what you're saying to be compassion, to be understanding, but also to let them know that you have boundaries, that you don't want this in your life anymore. So number four is to call them out on it. Or you can use this. You can say, hey, I'm going on a negativity detox for the week. Do you want to join me? That means I can't talk about anything negative. Do you want to try it? I really want to see how much I'm dwelling on the negative or how much it's coming into my space. And if they want to do it, great. If not and they say something negative, then they know where you stand. So if you're not going to do that, really, if you do want to call them on it and say, I'm really trying hard to focus on being as positive as possible in my life right now. I need all of the energy that I can get in order to move forward on my goals, or I'm going through a really tough time right now, and I'm trying to keep my world as positive as possible. So even though that may not seem what, you know, like real life to you or what's realistic, it's what I'm choosing right now. For me, you've got to get some boundaries around that or you're going to keep on showing up to the negative negativity. And if the negative people get really weirded out by that, that's okay. Let them fall away and make room for all the positive people to come. So, number five, and this is the final one, understand that that person may not change. Understand that all of the negative people and all of these tips may never change the people around you or the situation that you're in. So when that happens, you need to take a real assessment of your life and say, where can you start avoiding some negativity? So even if it's a best friend and you just are being consumed and eaten alive, it might be time to start spending less time with that person. If it's a family, it's the same thing I almost said. I hate to say it, but if it is holding you back, if it is suppressing you, if it's making you sick, if it's harming you, if your thoughts are really starting to become the thing that is causing a lot of pain in your life because of this negativity, you need to see what it's doing to yourself and take some massive inventory on that. And also what is it doing to you that's affecting other people? This one person in your life could be affecting your children, could be affecting your, your spouse, your friends, could be affecting your workplace. So it's time to take some massive inventory on. Do I need to spend less time? Do I need to tell this person that I can't spend time with them anymore because of how it's affecting me? Do I need to step away? Do I need to step away from everyone in my life for a while? Do I need to rebuild a new life? There was a serious time in my life where majority, I would say 95% of my relationships were all extremely toxic. I was in a really bad place place and I had to completely step away. Now, if you're not in the place to be able to do that, you can slowly step away. You can slowly start spending less time and spending more time with positive people. So if you're like, I can't do that, I can't just stop everything, what you can do is you can start making your free time, your evenings, your weekends spent in a more positive place. So even if you don't know people, and that's your excuse right now, and yes, it's an excuse, I don't know anyone. Okay, well, of course you don't because you're stuck in the negativity world. So you're going to have to start going to the positive places. Start going to meetups, yoga classes, ask that person who has that smile on their face what they're doing. Anything. You guys, if you want to change, you will. If you don't, you won't.

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So I am so grateful for all of you every single week tuning in and I just want to say that this podcast would not be what it is without you. And you truly are the reason why I'm able to get amazing guests on here and I love hearing your feedback. So you guys make sure you let me know what you want to hear about and I want to give a shout out again to the woman who provided me with this awesome topic, Jody and until next time, you guys, earn your happy.

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