144: To Feel SUPPORTED, SUPPORT YOURSELF First

Foreign. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear. Clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. And it is time for another quickie because there is always time to fit in inspiration. And if you are listening this today, on the day that it comes out, which is Thursday, that means that it is the last day to sign up for Gabrielle Bernstein's spirit junkie masterclass digital course online. And you know if you listen to Monday's podcast, that this has been a huge course that really helped me to embrace my authentic self, my authentic truth and get paid for doing what I love. So you guys, if you want to go and check that out, it closes today and you know what I'm doing? I'm affiliating for her. And I am giving you a free, absolutely free Bliss project ticket to my 2018 Bliss project beginning of March, first weekend in March of next year. And that is a 699 retail value. So if you know that you want to go and you know that you already want to take our course, make sure that you jump on it. If it's calling to you like it called to me, then it is about to change your life. And then you get a free Bliss ticket to meet all of your sisters in person. So you guys, speaking of that, the quickie today is on supporting yourself. And you guys, if you know that you want to start supporting yourself, that is at Lori harder.com Gabby G A B-B Y and you can check that out in the show notes. So you can go to that now or right after this quickie and like I said, supporting yourself. So in order to feel supported, we first must support ourselves because it's not going to just show up in our life ever unless we choose to do it first and we really start looking at the ways that we can support ourselves. So I want to read you this quote. It says a true relationship is someone who accepts your past, supports your present, loves you and encourages your future. So if you want to have a beautiful, supportive relationship with yourself, you will accept your past, you will support yourself in the present, and you will love and encourage yourself into the future. So how can you do that? I remember all the time I used to say things like, I don't have friends who are thinking like I am. I don't have friends in this industry. All my friends don't get me. They all still want to drink, they all still want to go out. So this is why, why I'm stuck doing what I'm doing. This is why every weekend I have such a hard time is because, you know, Friday rolls around and even though I want to be healthy and be fit and I have these other goals, all of my friends are like this, all my family's like this. And I don't know anyone else doing this. So guess what I would do? I would succumb to what everybody else was doing because I wasn't quite ready to accept the fact that I was not willing to support myself first. And that's not an easy place to be at when we have to face ourselves head on. Right? That quote, wherever, wherever you go, there you are because you have to face yourself. What are you running from? A lot of times I was running from the fact that I was not ready to let go of those short term pleasures. I wasn't ready to support myself and get out of my own way and step into my fear in order to become the person that I needed to be to reach my goals. So what did I need to do? I had to first support myself. I had to say, okay, the only person who is going to grab my hand and take me to my goals and say, okay, you can't do this anymore is me. So what did I need to do? I had to figure out what I could do on a Friday or a Thursday, or what could I set as an appointment on Saturday morning so that I would make sure that I wouldn't go out all night, or that I would want to be in bed, or that I would just want to feel really good for Saturday and live in a new and different way, that I would meet people who would start thinking differently. And then once I started doing that and got my health in check because that was my first priority, I couldn't even think of what I wanted to do because I felt so crappy. So find the most pressing thing that you need. What's the most pressing way that you must support yourself now if you can't even think of what you want to do or what course you want to join or who you want to have as a mentor or what book you want to read because you're focus. You can't even stay focused for more than five seconds or you don't even feel good enough to get to the gym. Then your first, most pressing thing is to support yourself in a way just to feel better, to get more rest, to get more sleep, to eat healthier food, to start looking for people who believe a different way than maybe who you're hanging around right now. And that's not gonna be easy. But the thing is, is if we don't start choosing to support ourselves, then you have to get really good and comfortable with the idea that you are never going. So that's no fun either. That one really sucks, too. So for me, it was like I had to fast forward five years and in the future and say, if I don't change, if I don't face myself, if I don't face my fear, am I okay with waking up in five years, still not doing what I want to do, doing the same thing, Feeling unfulfilled, feeling suppressed, feeling like I'm not being myself, like I'm not living my authentic truth? Like, what am I suppressing? What am I giving up? What beautiful parts of me that God planted in me as a gift? Does he want me to show that I'm suppressing and looking up and saying, you know what? Thank you so much for this awesome message that you gave me in this awesome dream, and I'm just not equipped to be able to live it out. I'm sorry. You just didn't give me all of the tools that you gave her or him in order to get this dream out there. And that absolutely is not true. Because I want you to really think of that. I want you to look up or whatever you believe, source, Buddha, God, whatever you believe, and just feel what it feels like to say out loud, I'm sorry you didn't give me what I needed to live out this message. That's not the truth and you know it. It's that we must be willing to climb the mountain in order to get the view. So what is your Everest? But who can you grab to climb with, right? Because I'm not going to climb that mountain alone. I'm going to make sure that I support myself and go to the people and go to places and go to the things and read the books and listen to the podcasts and listen to the songs and get inspired and do that thing. Because you cannot die without letting that message Out.

Yes.

Say yes. Say it with me.

I dare you.

You're in your car or you're running or you're on a walk. We're going to look like crazy people. Yes. Yes. Yes. It is time. It is now. And we can't wait anymore. Because you can either choose complete suppression and feeling even worse than you do now, or you can face your fear and you can the most beautiful blessings that are better than you can ever possibly imagine anything that I can possibly tell you. You can live heaven on earth right now or you can continue to spiral down. Those are the only two options. So let's support ourselves. I want you to go home or think of right now. What is a way that you need to support yourself right now? And you have to schedule it into your calendar. Because I know I've talked to you guys about this before, but I can take one look at your calendar and tell you if you're going to be successful. So if someone said, I'm going to use this as an example because playing guitar, if someone said, I want to learn guitar, but I looked at the calendar and they never had a guitar lesson in there, anytime that they were going to sit down and learn it, do you think they're going to learn it? Hell no. So you're going to go to your calendar and you're going to time block times that you absolutely are going to do this thing to support yourself. So whether it's once a week for 30 minutes or whether it is three times a week for 20 minutes, whatever it is, be realistic. Start even smaller than you think. Try it for a week, then do it the next week. And schedule, schedule, schedule. So that when I look at your calendar, I can say, hey, yeah, you got this. Like you're supporting yourself every single week. I see it in your calendar. It's planned. You're following through. This is amazing. Right? So plan it. If you miss something, forgive yourself. Get back to planning. Fail faster. Right? Fail faster for better success. So it's also about that relationship with failure. Failure rocks, you guys. You can't do anything without it. It's just that you've been focusing more on the failure than you have on the blessing. So when you start focusing on the blessing instead of the failure, that's when you don't mind failing because the blessings on the other side. But we have to remember that.

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