160: Make Friends With Your FEAR

Foreign. Welcome to the Earn your happy Podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the Earn your happy podcast and it is time for another quickie because there is always time to fit in inspiration and this episode is brought to you by my Bliss Project retreat. You guys, if you are looking for connection, if you're feeling lonely, if you are feeling isolated, if you're feeling unsupported on your dream, if you're feeling lost, you don't know where to go. Maybe you feel like you're just spinning your wheels over and over, or maybe you have started that project, but again, you feel lonely, fearful, isolated. This is absolutely the place that you want to be. There are going to be so many incredible, supportive, elevated women who are either so far out on their journey or just beginning. And we're all in a room together. And let me tell you that you want to show up in a room like this. This is where you want to find yourself. You want to find yourself uncomfortable. You want to find yourself getting into the things that are holding you back. And this is the safe space and the safe container for you to grow. This is truly the reference point for the rest of your life. I've created exerc workshops and have the world's best speakers to help you get to where you are right now, to where you want to go. So if you guys want to be there, I highly suggest you grab your tickets soon because this event sells out. And that is@theblissproject.info if you don't have anyone to go with, good. It's exactly where you need to be. And this goes right into my episode today, which is so perfect because it is all about fear. And I know that I cover this topic all the time and I actually think I should cover it more because it's a daily thing and it's more than a daily thing. It's probably a moment to moment thing. So what exactly is it right now that you are afraid of. Because I have to tell you, there's the most perfect quote for you. Ralph Waldo Emerson says, what you are afraid to do is a clear indication of the next thing you need to do. So what is it? What is it right now? Call it out. I know that you can see it in your life right now. Is it a conversation? Is it taking the first step? Is it putting that money out to hire a coach? What is it? Is it taking that course? Is it taking that class? Is it going to an event? You know what it is. And it's probably exactly what you need to do. And I will never forget one of my mentors. I did a coaching program with Jack Canfield. And let me tell you, just even getting into that coaching program, I had to spend way more money than I ever thought I would spend on one particular item, including a car. And it was a year long program. Three weeks cut up into week long segments and I was so far outside of my comfort zone, I didn't think I belonged in the room. I didn't know what I was thinking spending that money. But let me tell you what that did. Number one, it was a soul hit for me to go. I knew it when I heard about it. It came up in an email and I was. The first thought I thought about it was, I have to be there. I know I have to be there. And then the fear comes in. Then it was, oh my gosh, like, how am I ever gonna talk to Chris, my husband, about is this worth it? He's not gonna think it's worth it. What are we gonna get out of it? I don't know what the value is. And ultimately knowing that the value I got out of it would be how much I would show up, right? And I was very scared to show up. I was fearful that I wouldn't be good enough for the room. Would they even take me? What happens when my social anxiety kicks in when I'm in the room? I had so many fears. It was like I could hardly. But I also knew that if I kept going the way I was going in my life, that I couldn't live that way any longer. At least I couldn't live that way with being happy or without going back to my old ways of numbing out that voice because my soul was ready. Man, she was kicking and screaming and I either had to drink to number out, eat to number out, or go be around crappy people to numb her out because she was no longer letting me continue on with a life. Living small and doing the things that I was doing. I knew that I had to do it or I was going to go back to my old ways, which was making me so miserable. I was so miserable. My anxiety was getting worse. My fear was getting worse, and I was really isolating myself socially because I had this message, and I knew that the bigger the fear around it, the bigger the message was going to be. So really, my first step was going to that event or paying for the event, buying the ticket for that event. And that's what I did. And when it came time to go, I was nervous, I was scared. I wanted to back out. I didn't want to get on the plane. It was the worst thing I've ever thought of. I thought of all of the excuses that I possibly, possibly could to not go. Does this sound familiar to you guys? Have you ever done this with me? Have you ever done this? So I went. I showed up. Sure enough, I was scared. It was horrible. I was uncomfortable, and it was all beautiful, and it was all brilliant. And I had so much growth after the first week. I had more growth after the first week of that event than I had had in all of my previous years of being alive on the planet. I was so elevated. I was so uplifted, and I was so proud of my. For doing something that scared me. So that became one reference point. If I could do that, what else could I do, right? If I can do that, what else can I do? So what is that fear that you want to do right now that if you did that, it would prove to you that you could do so much more? You could do so much more. And at that event, Jack said, everything you want is on the other side of fear. And I sat in that chair, and I knew that when he was saying that, that was so directly to me and obviously to everyone else in the room, because the more I spoke to people, the more I realized they were all going through the same thing as well. We were all having fear anxiety imposter syndrome. And you guys, I was next to people who were already doing epic things. I was next to someone who does amazing, you know, speaking engagements, gets paid $30,000 to speak every single time. He's just absolutely incredible. And yet he was going through the same exact thing as I was, right? So I love this as well by Mark Twain. Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. So I never, ever actually I have fear present in my life at all times. I just have a great relationship with it. I just know that if it's there, it's reminding me of where I need to go. The second that you're not fearful, life is no longer exciting, right? Everything is easy. It'd be like you getting your dream, but it felt like tying your shoes. That'd be awful because everybody can tie their shoes. It's not exciting, it's not an event. And it doesn't bring a different emotion. So thank your fear. Say thank you for letting me know where I'm supposed to go. Thank you for making me get bigger. Thank you for making me step up and step in and grow and really understand what I'm capable of and letting me feel the feelings on the other side. You guys, it's the yin and the yang, right? The ebb and the flow. I always say this. You cannot have one without the other. If everything was light, you wouldn't appreciate it. The dark contrast the light. It's a beautiful thing. You guys, I so appreciate you. I hope I get to see you at the Bliss Project event this year. Otherwise, always, always, always. I'm so grateful to all of you who share on Instagram. I get to see all your stories, you know that I get to talk to you there. So hit me up. Let me know who you want to hear from. Let me know what you think of the podcast. And as always, thank you for sharing. Thank you for reviewing. Thank you for giving a five star review. It means the world. That's how I get amazing guests on here. And until next time time earn your happy. Bye everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think. Tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye Bye.