175: Why Balance is a Myth with Lori Kennedy

Foreign. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. And you guys, you have to go check out my annual event. It is the Bliss Project and it's@theblissproject.info if you are feeling alone, if you're feeling stuck, if you're feeling like you need more like minded people in your life, this is absolutely the weekend that you want to be in attendance at. If you're ready to elevate and really confront your fears and learn how to move through them, get the tools to move through them, this is where you want to be. So it is anywhere from 4 to 500 incredible women that you get to add to your tribe. And trust me when I tell you that this weekend is going to accelerate your growth faster than just about anything that you have ever done. So if you're ready to finally unleash that inner powerhouse and to meet like, like minded women. And also you guys, if you feel freaked out about this, that's exactly where you should be be. And trust me, there's going to be so many group exercises and I make sure that every single person who comes there, whether they're alone, whether they're freaking out, whatever it is that you connect to the people that you need to connect to and you will not be alone for long. And I have to tell you, sometimes coming alone is the best way that you can do this because we are going to connect you to some amazing women and you'll learn really quickly that you guys are all the same. We are all the same. We're all dealing with the same thing and we're all going through the same things and desire the same, same thing. So you guys, I hope I get to see you there. Go to theblissproject.info right now to reserve your ticket because they will sell out. They have sold out every single year. And if you get that gut hit right now, that you should be there. Then take the leap right now. That's what it's all about. Don't let your. Don't. Don't let your reality brain come in right of what's realistic and what you think could happen or should happen. Just go with that soul hit of knowing you should be in that room. It just feels. Feels right. Even though you're scared you're going to push through so that you can become that person that you know that you are. So, you guys, on today's podcast, I'm so excited for you to meet Lori Kennedy. She is in my Mastermind with Lewis House, so I got to spend this last year with her. And I've had a lot of amazing guests, obviously from my mastermind, because we do get to dive deep. We do get to connect really deeply and have amazing conversations and really learn about each other's zones of genius. And Lori's been someone who really has been able to. To add so much value in my life just whenever she would speak up in the group, because she does a lot of similar things that I do. So Lori is a mom. She's a nutritionist and the lady boss behind the Wellness Business Hub and the Wellness Business Academy. She's a business mentor and a strategist for health coaches and practitioners. She empowers her community to build the business and life of their dreams all on their own terms. She's also a published author and an acclaimed speaker with a real world approach to entrepreneurism. Her personal philosophy of inspired hustle is built into her online courses and nationwide live events. She prioritizes her time and energy on building her business, mentoring practitioners, working with charitable partners, playing with her kids, and building her dream life all on her terms. So, you guys, we talk so much about what it actually looks like to build a business, what it looks like to raise a family, and her definition of balance and does it actually exist? So I love how real Lori and I got on this podcast, and I hope that you can find yourself in some of these stories and take away a few of her tips. And as always, we would love to hear what you think. So let's not wait any longer and let's get started. Here we go. Lori, I'm so excited to have you on the show today. Thank you so much for coming on.

I am so excited to be here and to have this conversation.

And I just got to see you at Lewis Howe's summit of greatness because you are in my mastermind, so I've got to get to know you over this last year and be on your podcast and just get to be in your amazing genius. And I have to tell you, every time you speak in our Mastermind, you always, always, always offer so much valuable wisdom. I'm pretty sure I've implemented quite a few things that you've said, and you just are brilliant with what you do. So I'm excited to really dive in for our listeners, especially all of those women who are really ready to take it to the next level in their business and life. So I just want to acknowledge you for your awesomeness, and I'm so excited to chat today.

Thank you. And likewise. Absolutely. Between you and Chris, I mean, aside from the fashion inspiration that I get from you, just even just seeing how you guys are with each other and how you are with your business and how much love you have for your community, it's just so inspirational.

Thank you so much for that. And I would love for the people who don't know, who haven't been in contact with you yet, if you could share a bit of your backstory and how you started doing what you're doing now.

Sure. So, by professional title, I am a registered holistic nutritionist, and I've been doing that for a decade. And before that I was a trainer. So I've never really had a proper corporate job. And the sort of the jobs that I did have, I got fired from every single one of them. So from the time I was like, 14, so I've always been in health and wellness. So that's been my world since I was basically 19. I grew up as a competitive dancer, so I don't really know what it is to have a, you know, a quote, unquote, proper 9 to 5 corporate job. And I've always had to fend for myself, I guess, for lack of a better term, and create and create the kind of jobs and businesses and contacts and relationships that I. That I want to have. And it really does go back to, you know, healing my own body. That's how I started in holistic nutrition, because I suffered from very serious digestive system issues I had have, because I don't think it ever really goes away. Something called Candida, which is a systemic yeast overgrowth leaky gut. So my digestive system is really weak. I have to pay really close attention to my stress levels, my sleep, my food, because otherwise my body just quits on me. And that's really how I got my start. And then as I progressed being a nutritionist, I realized I knew nothing about being a business owner, and it was a Very hard slap in the face. After the first two years of trying to grow my practice when I was in massive debt. And it was really embarrassing. And I didn't know back then that I didn't know that I didn't know. So I took it as complete and utter failure. And then, as luck, I guess, would have it, opportunities started to come up for me that have taken me down the path. And I think the reason that I'm here is just because I kept just walking through those doors without really thinking about the risks or the outcomes. I just kept walking through them. And so now I have two kids, I'm a single mom, and I run an online business that serves other health practitioners from all over the world to help them start up and grow their own practices.

Amazing. So give me more. I just want to know more about what that looked like from that journey, from not really thinking of the business part. Right. Because we put so much effort and energy into the dream and what exactly is it and clarity around it and what else can I add and what else can I offer? Offer? But we forget to think about how important it is to make money to support the dream. Did you ever have issues looking at, you know, how you approached money or how you looked at money, and how did you bridge that gap?

Yeah, completely. I mean, like I said, you know, as a health practitioner back then in 2007, coaching and masterminds and online programs, like, it wasn't really a thing. And for me, I never went to school for business. Like, I went to school for psychology and leadership and the arts, I guess. So I didn't really have any idea about what it was to run a business. I graduated as a registered holistic nutritionist. I rented a space in a clinic because that's what you do. I had a nice website. I had fancy business cards. And I thought, all right, I'm open for business. I have this secret to improving quality of health. I thought it was the biggest thing. I was like, why doesn't everybody want to know this? And, you know, I borrowed money from my dad. I was paying rent. I didn't know. I didn't know how to build a brand. I didn't even know that I needed to. I didn't know how to do any of that stuff. I just thought, I'm in a clinic, it's busy. People like, how come people don't want to know the secrets that I know? And so about 18 months later, I had to terminate that rental agreement because I was already in thousands and thousands of dollars of debt. And it wasn't getting better. There was no light. Like, I was still very much in that dark darkness. And it just got to the point between my mortgage and being newly married, I just needed to have some type of stable income. So I actually went back to the gym that I was a personal trainer at, and thank God that I did, because that was really my first foray into learning sales and learning business because I took over as the nutritionist there, and my manager said, here's your sales goal. And I was like, I'm sorry, what now? And I'm like, I just heal people. Yeah, I don't want to know about that. What do you mean, a sales goal? I started sweating, you know, I'm like, what do you mean? I'm like, how am I supposed to. And I said to her, how am I supposed to hit that? And she looked at me and she's like, you're supposed to sell your services. And then I immediately bursted into tears. I'm like, I don't know how to do that. So I actually learned how to sell from watching them sell. Personal training. Like, I sat in on their consults. I wrote down the words she used. I really studied. For the first time, it occurred to me that you could, like, go to the bookstore and buy books on how to sell. I didn't even know. It wasn't in my awareness that that was a thing because I never had to actually sell before being a personal trainer. I was just giving clients I didn't have to sell. And so now as I was, like an independent contractor trying to, like, establish myself, I actually had to learn the sales structure process. And I had to understand, you know, why I would charge more money and that would bring me better quality clients and how to structure packages and how to do all of those things in order to make a living. Like, in order to actually grow my practice, make a living, pay the bills so that I could continue to do this career that I felt in my bones was exactly where I was meant to be.

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That's so good. And you just brought me back because I did training sales as well. When, you know, at like an LA Fitness, you know, where you're selling, just whatever, trying to get all of these random people who walk through the door to train. And I think that's mainly where I learned too. So crazy. That's awesome. Just the processes. So how did you. And that's an interesting topic because how did you find your own unique way of selling to make people. People realize how important it is? Right? Because it's kind of about like that languaging that step of where do I find my voice to let people know how important this is.

What I didn't realize then was that I am a super empathic and super intuitive. So I listened to them. I think that was my gift, was that I could actually feel their hurt, I could feel their shame, I could feel their embarrassment. I could feel the truth of why they were sitting there. Because when someone came into my office and said, I want to lose 20 pounds, my first question is why? And I could feel their why without them being able to communicate it. And so with, you know, with sales, it really is about uncovering their big reason why, like, what is actually motivating them. Like, and that goes for all of us in our own lives. Like, what's why? Like, why are we. Why are you doing this podcast? Like, why is it important? Right? Like, those are the motivating factors. And so when I, when I switched from I need to make a sale, I need to make money, I need to make a sale, I need to make money to I need to, like, feel this person. Like, I. I'm sitting here and I'm there. Like, I'm sure you experience this too. Like, people told me things that they would never tell anyone, and so they're telling me their truth. And so once I understood that, once I respected that, it changed the game in terms of sale selling, where I could just hold that space for someone to really allow them to see their own problem and recognize that it was a problem. And then I just basically was like, I can help you. This is how we're gonna do it together. And it made selling not salesy because I wasn't trying to slam the offer down their throat. I really just listened to them and I held compassion for them and I didn't judge them. And that was probably really refreshing for them.

So much gold for every. I don't care what industry you're in that is. I mean, that's sales 101. And when I say sales 101, it's so important to have that relationship with money, right? Because without money, there is no dream and there is no helping people. So it's getting so clear on if this per. You know, it, like, putting it on the line how important it is. Right. Showing people how important it is to invest in themselves. Because I don't know about you, but if I don't spend money on something, if someone, like, gives me, like, a free E course or something, I will. Less. I am so much less likely to go and look at it than if I'm like, okay, let me pay for this. And I'm gonna go in and make sure that I'm finishing this. Or at least, you know, let's be honest. At least looking at it and taking.

Yeah.

From it. So what is the value of making sure? Because I know you work with so many people. Is this a big struggle for people, like, really selling themselves but not realizing what they're actually selling and changing?

It's everything. It's everything because when you're starting, you don't really have a true understanding of what it is you're doing in any regard, from your home life to your business. Like, it's all just. You're just trying to keep your head above water for sure. I would say for the first, like, three years, that's what it's like. You know, you're just really trying to, like, keep the, you know, the boulder from, like, rolling back down the hill. And so if you're not. If you're not grounded in who you are and how you help and then have the actual right words, which I think most people don't have, just because they're not trained, like, the actual adjectives to describe, you know, the before and after, which is the value, then you're. You get hit with, like, objections because then you're just trying to sell, like, the components. Like, whether they're. Whether that's shakes or meal plans or a widget or shoelaces. It's like, well, what value does the shoelaces actually have to enhance your life? And so most people don't. They just don't know how to communicate that. And so they. They feel very uncomfortable. They often feel like a fraud or have, like, imposter syndrome only because it's such a new thing that they just don't have the right structure or the right words.

I mean, it can hurt at first when you're stumbling through those. Let's go back to when we were stumbling through our first sales. It's like you feel crazy. You feel like everything you're saying is like a risk. Like you're about to jump off a platform and you're like just putting it out there. Like, how are you gonna react to that?

Yeah, absolutely. Like, I just created a new offer in my business and worked. It's a high level offer. I'm, I'm selling it through phone calls, which I haven't done in I don't know how long. And the first one I did, I got off. I'm like, well, that was atrocious. Like my performance. I recorded it and I listened to it and I was laughing. I was like, oh my gosh. Like, you know, and that's just the way it is, right? Until you practice. The only way to get better is to practice.

Yes.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

Okay. So we were chatting before this, which I love. We were talking about just the myth of balance. And really, you know, as you become a business owner and honestly, this applies to everything thing in life. If you want to lead a life where you are also happy and not, you know, people pleasing for everyone, but being okay with the decisions that you make. Because I feel as you grow, the decisions do get tougher, but you of course get stronger. So tell me a little bit about maybe a time where you have had to make some tough decisions and learn how to be okay with them. And how do you do that?

I think if, if you really get quiet for a minute. In, in our core being, we have this idea of the person we want to be and the life that we want to live. And what I experienced was that there were environments, you know, my intimate environments, my home environments, some relationships, the way that I was treating my own body, the way that I thought about myself. I knew that if I wanted to get become that person and to have that life, that I would need to make some serious changes and do some serious work. And so this applies too. If you're trying to lose weight or you know, you've just, for example, like gone gluten free. It doesn't matter what the circumstance is when you're making changes. When I tried to make changes, I always fell back into the trap of, oh, it's just one drink or oh, it's just one night where I don't, I'm fine to go to bed at 1 o' clock in the morning because I don't want to miss out on hanging out with my friends. But then I would wake up the next day and feel like crap because my body likes to go to bed at a certain time and wakes up at a certain time. And I would sacrifice my own health and happiness so that I wouldn't feel left out, so that I would feel like I belonged to groups or that, you know, basically just I wouldn't feel left out. And it got to a point where I had to get very clear on what I wanted for my life and how I wanted to feel. And as hard as it was for me to recognize that there were certain people and certain things in the way I treated myself, that had to go. And in order for me to get to where I wanted to be, like, I had to make some serious changes. And in doing that, I realized that there is no such thing as balance. When you have goals, like actual, you know, concrete goals that you want to achieve, you are laser focused in on those, and those become your priority. And everything else, right or wrong, needs to take a back seat. So how can you have balance when that happens? And then if you try to strive for balance and you're like, well, I'm not in balance, does that mean make you out of balance and therefore wrong or bad? So for me, I had to get really clear on these are my priorities, these are my goals. And so this is what I'm going to focus on. And I'm going to let everything go for now so that I can really and truly get to where I want to be. And that was really hard to do.

It's some of the hardest stuff to do. You're actually bringing me back, right to this last weekend because we had gone to an event, and events are like a big thing for people, right? They're just like, they bring up a lot of stuff. They have you out late, technically, you know, there's just a lot of things going on, and there's a lot of things you have to say no to during them if you want to. If you do it all the time, if you want to take care of your health. So you're bringing me right back to how many things I said no to and how I had to just say, hey, you know what? They don't have to live in my body the next day, next day. And I don't want to feel, you know, depressed if I drink tonight or I want to be fully aware of what's going on tomorrow. I want to show up with the energy that I want to show up with. Because each level of life requires a new, you know, level of things that you are going to apply to your life. And with that I want to get into the, you know, you reminded me of the all or nothing. Because it's not like we're going to go and do all of these things and look at our, the way that we want to show up in life and say, okay, well this means I have to flip everything and do a 180 right now and start changing everything. And that can be super challenging. Like for me, with every single level I've taken the one thing that could make a huge impact and it kind of shows its head and lets you know what that is and implemented that one thing. So as you went through the levels in your life, what were the different things that appeared to you that you had to change in order to, to break that glass ceiling, to go to the next level? Maybe you could give us a few.

Yeah, and that's a really. So the really tangible thing. So the first thing that I did was I started waking up early, like early, like 5am early. And I've been doing that since like the beginning of 2012. And so I found for me that that morning routine is critical to my sanity and my well being. Starting my day with my children is not good for me. I need to start my day on my own with coffee, by writing so that I ground myself and do something creative, nurturing. Sometimes I'm writing sales copy, sometimes I'm just writing a blog post. But it's my way of starting the day where I'm feeling in momentum from the minute I wake up. And if I start my day with my kids, mommy can I have breakfast and lunches? And it's just like I feel like I'm chasing the day and that doesn't feel good to me. So that is, I think, the most powerful thing that I've done now with 5am mornings, like committed 5am mornings comes early bedtimes, which means sacrifice of like going out for, you know, the moms are going out on Thursday night for like a glass of wine. I don't go right. Like, I choose not to. That was really hard to deal with because I felt left out. But I go back to how do I want to feel the next day and what are my goals in my life? And it, you know, makes me feel a little bit better. So that was one of them. And then the other was really recognizing what I need to thrive to, like more than thrive. So for me, accountability is key. So having a financial coach, having a mastermind, having a personal trainer, having people in my life, in all areas of my life that I pay so that I have skin in the game that hold me accountable to my goals so that I can't weasel out of them when I'm tired or when I don't feel like it or whatever the case may be. And just recognizing, like, I was in a space for a really long time where I was like, I can do this on my own. I can do these workouts on my own. I'm going to eat healthy on my own. I'm a nutritionist. I know exactly what to do. I know how to meal plan, and I can macro you till the day is long. Like, no problem. But making the actual food for myself and eating it day in and day out, it took me about almost 18 months to wrap my head around the fact that I actually needed to just, like, outsource my meals, because it wasn't happening. It wasn't happening. And so I wasn't getting to my goals. And I kept saying to myself, like, no, no, no, this is ridiculous. Like, you. You shouldn't pay for, like, a meal service. Like, you're a nutritionist. Like, you can cook. Like, it's fine. And I wasn't doing it. I wasn't doing it. That's so mean, right? So just realizing and accepting my own limitations and what I will and won't do and just getting really real with, like, how I work best, which is off of accountability. It's actually, like. It's actually negative reinforcement. Like, I get. I. I'm competitive, so I get really embarrassed. So if I don't show up for the workouts, I'm, like, nervous about what the trainer thinks of me. So it, like, makes me show up.

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I love that because I so for. So. I feel like for so long, we're like, okay, well, that's painful. Let's not look at it like we, you know, especially when we can be spiritual people, we can tend to be like, okay, well, we get really good at knowing tools to not look at pain. But with that, for me, pain has been one of my biggest motivators. So tapping into, like, okay, what's. What's actually on the line, because I think what we do is, you know, the alarm goes off and all we. We think of is the snooze button or, oh, I'm gonna lose my morning. But, you know, that's not a big enough thing to take in a big enough pain. Because, okay, I'm going to lose my morning. Well, I lose my morning every morning. I'm used to it. It's going to look like this. I know. I know how to handle it. But when you really look at it as if I keep losing mornings, I'm going to lose who I am. I'm going to lose my purpose. I'm not going to be the mom I want to be. I'm not going to be the woman I want to be. I'm never going to reach my goals. And now that pain at the end of the day, that's pain that will get me out of bed. So what is a pain that you tap into and a reminder that really motivates you? Do you tap into the bigger pain or how do you motivate yourself?

It really is that I. I don't want to, like, lose. Not lose face, because I'm okay with that. It's. It's. As an example, like, I'm in masterminds because that pushes me outside of my comfort zone because I don't want to show up to a meeting not having done stuff. That's embarrassing.

Yeah.

And then I feel like people are like, you're a loser. Why are you here? And that, for me, is painful. Right? Because. And I think it really goes back to. I was bullied for, like, all of elementary school, basically, in all of high school. And so, yeah, so for me, luckily, I should reframe. Luckily, I was bullied all through elementary school, all through high school, because now that experience really pushes me because I don't want to show up not having done the work, I care what people think of me and I don't, I know what I'm also capable of. And so when I don't do my best work, it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing for me, it's embarrassing for my coaches and the embarrassment factor and the fact that I'm not living up to what I know I'm capable of, that is my biggest motor, like above making the money and all that stuff. For me it's that shame of like, Lori, you didn't do a good job here. Like, what is wrong with you? Shape up, sister. Like, you know, it's that I totally.

Tap into that and I, I feel you all along the way. And of course I know you're also beautiful with this. So I want you to explain the other complete contrast of knowing when you need to give yourself some grace and some love and some forgiveness otherwise from that place if you, you know, when you don't show up. Because I'm sure there have been times which if you want to share them, that'd be great. When do you get your power back by that forgiveness and ownership?

You know, Totally. So I'll. So this just this past August, I basically took a break because I needed to take a break and my revenue went in half. Which when you employ people it's very scary and I knew that it would, it would cause me pain to do that. However, the pain of pushing through and doing shit work, it was worse for me than like, okay, we're, you know, we're not gonna like go balls to the wall this month financially because it was summer, my, my schedule with my kids changed. I actually lost the majority of my morning routine because they actually started an hour and a half later. And I didn't actually realize how much that affected me until August because they were home and they're not usually home until night. Like they're, they get dropped off at 7:30 in the morning during the year, they were home till 9. That hour and a half every day with them in the morning really changed me and affected me in ways that I wasn't prepared for. And so I did, I laid low for August and I gave myself the, and I gave myself permission to just maintain, to just flow. No launches, no flash sales, no more one on one coaching. Like none of it. It all stopped. And you know, luckily we have some really good recurring revenue models built in. But there was no offers, there was nothing because I just needed to give myself that space because my schedule had changed and I needed to just recuperate And I wanted to have fun. Like I wanted to just enjoy the summer. I haven't really been able to take actual time off and you know, just enjoy that. And it was a very conscious decision. I actually wrote myself like a permission note. I wrote myself a letter and I just wrote out all the reasons why I needed to take a break and I told my team all the reasons why and obviously they're like so supportive and whatnot. But that was a huge inner struggle for me because at least for me, I equate, you know, revenue productivity with like my self worth, right or wrong, something that I'm working on. But it's. I think as an entrepreneur you do because my business is me and I am my business. And so I just gave myself permission and I actually like, sort of because I, I am an achiever by nature. That's my highest strength. And so I had to look at other ways to create the feeling of productivity and the feeling of momentum outside of work, which was hard for me to do so that I didn't feel like a lazy bum basically.

So how did you create that? Because that's the whole. I mean, I'm sure for the first month you may have been just like, like, okay, well, I'm not sure if this is worth it. I don't even know how to relax. Like, how do I separate what were some things that you did or were you able to just chill?

Well, okay, so we should define chill because I feel like chilling for us and chilling for other people is different. Chilling for me is still being active. Like, yes, I sit down for sure and watch tv. I watched the entire five seasons of House of Cards. You know, like, I definitely did stuff like that. I also have two kids. I'm a single mom. So for me, you know, the camp day ended at 3:30. So I dropped them off at 9 and I had till 3:30. So then I was back being like a mom. But during the day I, I actually just. I journaled a lot. I like visioned. I find it very cathartic to plan. So I planned a lot versus actually creating content and doing things like that. And we cleaned up a lot of loose ends. Like this is where the team actually had time to breathe and they got to clean up a lot of loose ends and they all took vacation at different points. So we just maintained. I read, I read a lot. I went up to the cottage a lot and just hung out with my family a lot. I walked a lot. Even though it rained all summer here, I walked a lot. Like a Lot like hours a day. I just needed to be in motion as long as I found that I was in motion physically or doing something, you know, going through my kids drawers and like taking out all their old clothes that don't fit them that I should have done two years ago, you know, like that kind of stuff. As long as I was doing things that still felt okay for me. I am not a person that can just like lie around for days and read that. Just doesn't work for me.

Me either.

So yeah.

So Lori, I feel like this is so important for people. Like I recently came back from a trip that I was so resistant against. Like so resistant I couldn't even figure out why I was doing it. You know, when there's so much that I wanted to be doing and so much going on. And in the midst of, you know, like a massive book deadline, I had already booked a vacation to Greece for a re wedding, like a surprise rewetting of one of our best, best couple friends. So it wasn't exactly something, you know, that I could get out of. And it's so funny how our brains, when we like to go, don't want to stop. But once I got there, it was this reminder of why I have to put those things in more. Because more opened up for me that week than I had been trying to force for the past six months. So what opened up for you?

Yeah, absolutely. Just like the vision of. I think it's the vision of where I wanted to go with my brand and also just the feeling of creativity. I think for us, you know, for me especially, I am the boss. I run a, you know, a nice sized team. There's five core people on my team plus loads of contractors. I have two kids. Creativity, like the idea to just vision and, you know, see the missing pieces and just let my brain run wild where I didn't have to necessarily think about how am I going to monetize this and how am I going to structure this and how is that going to sell and is this person going to be upset? Like I also just like you forget. I forget that I need to create space to allow for creativity because so much of what I do is so structured that you lose the creativity of it and you lose that, that like visceral purpose of why you're doing it in the first place. Because it's so structured.

Totally. It's that, it's that 10,000 foot view. It's kind of like when you get out of what you're doing, you're like, oh my God, like, what was I? You just get in this routine and this grind, and all of a sudden you're actually. You. You feel more out of touch, being so in it, where when you leave, it's that massive perspective shift of, oh.

My God, yeah, yeah. And I hear that a lot from my community, too, that are like, I'm losing my mojo. I'm like, take a break, Walk away. Take a break, walk away. Shut her down. Two weeks. Oh, you will know. I remember last December, this past December, I actually started to get nervous that the mojo, like, it wasn't coming back because it was, like. It was two and a half weeks in. I. We closed my company for the holidays, and it's like, January, and I'm like, still just wanting to sit on the couch and watch Netflix. Like, it's not that urge to work like that, that yearning to work, that drive, it wasn't there. And I was getting really nervous. I'm like, all right, maybe it's time to just do something else now. Like, I'm done with this. You know, I'll just. I don't even know what I'll do, but maybe I'll just go be a personal trainer for a while. And then week three, actually, I needed three weeks of rest, and I woke up one morning and I was like, oh, it's back. And all I was like, get out of my way, people. Get out of my way. Like, and it just came back like that. Like, I needed that rest and I. And I have to give my. Like, when that happens to you, just ride it out. It will come back. Just ride it out. Like, rest. Do your thing. The mojo. You'll get it back.

I love that you said that because, you know, and you followed it along the way. It kind of sounds like where it's like, yeah, you were stressed about it, but at the same time, you're just gonna. You know what? Then I'm just gonna keep watching Netflix, or I'm gonna keep sitting or I'm gonna keep doing. I'm just gonna. Just see what happens. It's funny. I've gone on vacations before where I'm like, seven days. I'm gonna feel amazing when I'm done. The answer is gonna come to me about what I wanna call this or what I wanna do with this. And it's like, seven days go by, and I'm like, you know, I didn't do anything to get inspired, and I didn't want to, and I'm cool with that. And all of a sudden, you know, three weeks later, I'm like, there it is. It's just putting pressure and deadlines on ourselves for things that are not, they're just not for pressure and deadlines. So how do you have a goal, have an intention, but when nothing is inspired, how do you also detach from it?

So as you were telling that story, I'm like, it's just faith. Like for me, I've come, I've gone through some stuff. And so for me, I know now that if I, it'll take me wherever I need to go. And I just have faith that I'm gonna be okay. And I have confidence now that I will always land on my feet. And I will always, at some point get the lessons that I need as dark and as hard as they might be. And the inspiration or the opportunity or the person or the failure or whatever it is that needs to come to shift me forward will come. And sometimes that shows up in the form of honestly divorce. And sometimes that shows up in the form of a multi six figure launch. It is. And so I've practiced that and I've learned to trust in that. And I know that's like super woo woo and whatever, but we like woo woo on here. Yeah, I figured I could go there. So, you know, I just, it's just the knowing that as long as I'm communicating what I feel is right in that moment and I offer it up in the form of just speaking my truth and you know, inviting people into things that I know will benefit them and help them, you know, we're gonna, I'm gonna have some good times, I'm gonna have some bad times. And at the end of the day, like if I choose to, which I do, I will be one step forward, ten step forward, you know, it's just the inspiration will come. You can't, that's something for sure. The creativity and the inspiration, you can't force it. And so you might as well just like sit in whatever it is that you're feeling in that moment until you don't feel that way anymore.

Man, that I, I'm like so there with you. The faith thing, I just cling to it. I could not exist or do anything that I do without it. So I want to know what is the mindset? Like, what is the, what is so the thought process, right? Because if we don't have a hook or something to ground us or something to go to when we are in that place of. I feel crazy, I don't know if this is going to come. Maybe this isn't for Me, this is it, this is the end. My business is over. What do you do in those moments? What do you say? What are some really grounding things to remind you of the faith?

So one of the things that my earliest mentors, when I worked with business coaches taught me, which I thank him for every day, is I created a vision for my business and my life. So I did this in early 2012 and it was obviously I co created it with my then husband, but it was that vision that actually got me through all of the stuff that has happened since 2012 with the business and the merit, like all of it. Because I, I can feel it, I can see it. And when I created it, I didn't know how it was gonna happen. I still don't. Like, I. Obviously it's a little bit clearer now, but things change, things happen. I don't always, I can't predict the future. I just, I have the vision. I know exactly how I want to feel. I know who I want to be with and how I want to feel with them and what I, you know, the kind of celebrations that I want to have for both my business and my life. And as long as I can hold that in the forefront of my mind, and that's actually how I make decisions about what to do and what not to do. Because does it pull me away from the vision or does it push me towards. And the vision, even though I am obviously no longer married, that hasn't changed for me. And you know, it shifted obviously, but it's still my guiding, it's my, it's my lighthouse, it's my guiding thing that propels me forward. So when I'm in the darkness, like, you know, as we've all experienced, and I just, I can't see the light. I don't know when it's coming. You know, if anyone's had trauma, which I'm sure who hasn't, you can be in the darkness for a long time. And I just knew that I was gonna, at some point I would feel better. And this vision was really the thing that like kept me focused, it kept me sane in the business. When I was phoning it in, it was like, okay, this is the vision. We just gotta like do things that push us towards the vision. So if you haven't yet sat down and just said, like, what do I want my life to look like in five years? Like, how do I want to feel? And make it as specific and as concrete as possible. And then you will know when you are doing things that push you towards or pull you against so beautiful.

And I'm just realizing so much of that. Like, if we can't answer questions about our life and our future and what we really desire and our whys, that's a huge reason why we're not moving forward.

Forward, totally.

I'm just asking myself more and more, and sometimes I'm surprised that I have not actually sat down and answered some of these questions, like, how have I been functioning? And you know what? In that area, I've been floundering. So where I'm floundering, I'm kind of like, I'm not asking the right questions yet for me to come up with the answers. Because it's not that we don't have them, it's that we haven't sat down and answered them. Because we'll always get an answer. Always.

Yeah. Yeah. I think a lot of people aren't necessarily aware that that's something that they should do because they just. They wake up, they go to work, they hustle, they grow their businesses, and they don't actually sit down and take a minute to say, like, wait a sec, like, why am I doing this? Like, what's the bigger picture here? How do I want to feel? Because it's not something that, you know, people talk about around the water cooler. You know, they just they that they don't. It's a higher level way of thinking, and it's a higher way of level way of living. And at the same time, too, once you go and do that, it's like a slap in the face because you realize that there's gonna be some changes that need to happen, you know, in order to get to that, in order to have the vision, in order to make it come true.

I love that you just gave me a new idea. Like, we should develop water coolers with life questions on them.

Yes. Or like mantras.

Yes. I love distractions. Can you tell?

Yeah, totally.

Okay. So, you know, you had said something earlier, and you said it just. It was in passing, but you said a question was, you know, how do I feel about this? Or is this person upset? And I feel like that's a question that women always have in business. Is we're always worried, Am I upsetting someone? I'm not pleasing everyone. How do we let go of that? Because we know that's one thing that is always going to keep us, you know, held back, Because I'm actually dealing with it today. So I'm in that moment of like, oh, no matter what you do, you cannot please everyone and just Being okay with it. So what do you do?

Well, my first response was gonna be like, I don't know. I still feel like that. Like I still want people to like me. Yeah, but so this is the work. Like, this is the hardest work, I think.

Hardest.

I can, like, we can build funnels, that's fine. We can run retreats, like, that's okay. This is the hardest work is really getting clear on. For me, it came down to my core values and my integrity and asking myself, you know, am I acting in a way that my future self would be proud of? And really getting clear on that answer. And if the answer was no, then I would take responsibility for it. If I didn't do right by somebody, I need to own that. But there's always going to be, especially if, especially if you do the work to create the life that's in your vision, there's always going to be people that shun you, shame you, judge you, because it actually holds up a mirror as to what is wrong or wrong feeling in their own lives. And so they then take it out on you. And so when you understand that and you can actually say, you know, this isn't my stuff, as hard as that is to not take on, like, this isn't my stuff. So I'm happy to listen to you and to validate how you feel, but this isn't actually my stuff. And that just comes with, honestly practice. Like, I have a therapist many times where I've had to like process by talking through a thing so that I could actually release it because I genuinely felt bad that that person felt that way about me. But I think really just getting clear on your own core values, really getting clear on what you will and won't stand for in your own life and really having boundaries around the kind of people that you want to have and what you will and won't take responsibility for. And when you start to do the work, at least in my own experience, it becomes much easier to recognize other people's stuff as their own and to not take it on. Now, being an empath, it's really hard. Like that's really hard because I can genuinely feel them. But at the same time I've learned like, that's them and not me. And especially like I said, if you're going to want a different kind of life, there are going to be people that don't like what you're doing. And you, you know, I can't, I can't like give you a seven step system for being okay with that. You just have to be okay with that and just know that that's part of the territory. Like the bigger the goals, the messier it is. I feel like someone said that at, at the summit of greatness and I took that like the bigger, the better you become, the messier it is. And you just, at the end of the day you just have to accept that there's going to be people that, that you can't please and you just have to be okay with that otherwise it's going to compromise your own well being.

So there's so much truth in all of that and I felt every single word. So thank you for that. Just to be, to know that no matter what, at every level, you're still human. And it's just like working through your own processes and figuring out what those look like to release. Because at the end of the day if we don't release, we're stuck in that and it's. We can't give back, we can't create, we can't, you know, love the way we're supposed to love. So it's like the goal is release and that's all you focus on. So, so good. So what is something that you are feeling resistance towards right now and how are you getting through it?

I am feeling resistant towards really up leveling my own brand because that would mean that the attention needs to be focused on my accomplishments. And that's really uncomfortable for me because I'm like onto the next, you know, that's just the way that I am. And so that's really uncomfortable for me because I have done a lot and I know that I'm, you know, ready and at that place. But when you go and put yourself in a position of up leveling, I think on any level, like whether it's your workout routine or whatever it is, but for me it's in business and sort of making my name the star of the show where it's always been. But this is. Feels very different for me. How am I working through that? Well, for the moment I'm procrastinating heavily on it. Just to be totally honest. I'm. You know what, that's, that's all I have. I can't, I don't want to like pretend that I'm, you know, I am having full awareness that it's very hard for me right now, that it makes me really uncomfortable. And I'm trying to sit with that and actually understand why, like why is it so I'm not trying to force it. I'm taking my time with It, I have given myself a deadline, so by the end of November it'll happen. So I've given myself that time just because we have also some other stuff on the go. But I'm actually trying to sit with it and really understand why, because I know that if I also launch this thing feeling this way right now, it's not going to be successful because it doesn't feel like. It feels like I'm just going through the motions, right? Like you need to have the glossy photos and you need to have the website. You need to have like the stuff which I have, but it doesn't feel grounded for me yet. And so I don't want to launch it feeling this way because I won't be able to stand in the power of it. And I want to, but there's still some stuff that I need to work out. So I will go for therapy. I will sit on it, I will walk, I will think, I will pull cards, tarot cards, and I will journal. And just to really understand, you know, where it is those feelings are coming from for me and how to feel okay with it.

I love that that was the most real answer because that's what it really looks like. There's so many times where, you know, someone. Someone once said to me, the power of procrastination. Because sometimes the procrastination is a gift for you to go deeper. Like you need to go another layer deeper to see what's actually going on there, what is the actual resistance. Because like you said, sometimes we can just. Just throw stuff out and it's not actually your truth and you're actually not grounded or ready for what is going to come when you put that out there. So if. If there's something that you're resisting again, I love that you're allowing yourself to ask questions around it though. It goes right back to that self awareness. It's not like you're procrastinating and drinking wine every night. You're procrastinating and asking questions. There's a difference, right? So there's such a defined difference of allowing that procrastination to sit there, but also use it, you know, and ask questions to work through it. So thank you so much for that. So, Laurie, I could literally talk to you all day for sure. But what is something that you would offer our listeners just around. If you are someone who is really being pulled in your business to go bigger, what is something that you would tell them?

That of course you're going to feel scared out of your mind, like, of Course, the one thing that I learned from coaching is there's this model of the four Cs by Dan Sullivan, who created the Strategic coach. And so when I learned this model and I teach it to other people, it's really powerful. So the four Cs, the last one is actually confidence. So first you have to have commitment, then you have to have the courage to take action. Then you gain competency in the thing, and then you have confidence. Confidence comes last. So in. In all areas of your life, whether it's like perfecting your health, personal development, whatever, of course you're going to feel scared because it's something new. You have no frame of reference for it at all. And just know that after you commit to it, after you have the courage to take action, after you actually gain some competency in the thing you're doing, then you'll feel confident. Like, only then will you actually feel like, oh, yeah, I kind of know what I'm doing.

Oh my. There. That is my life. There you go. Yeah.

So you're not gonna know what you're doing. It's probably gonna suck the first time around. It. It's. That's. That's like, you know, those are the do's you pay. Like, that's the actual. You can't skip steps. That's the way it has to go.

There's so much power in that because I don't think people reveal that. And it's so vital to know that while that person might look like they're cool and confident in the corner, they're. They're freaking out inside.

Freaking out.

Like, if we could just wear our shirt that said what we were actually feeling like, hey, I might look like this on the outside, but actually in the inside, I feel crazy and I'm about to cry. So it's so powerful. Okay, Lori, I just want to acknowledge you for the work that you do in the world and all of the lives that you shift because you're freaking powerhouse. I always love being in your presence. I feel like I get better every time I see you or listen to you. So I'm so grateful for you. And I would love for people to know where to find and follow you.

So they can go to thewellnessbusinesshub.com and there is where we have, like, all of our business trainings for alternative health practitioners, free challenges, all the good stuff. And then if you want on Instagram, it's just lorikennedy, Inc. And I spell Lori the same way you spell Lori. L, O, R. I I love it.

Okay, I always close on one last question. Are you ready?

Yep.

Okay, so if you are in an elevator with someone, it's a super short ride. It's only like 30 seconds, and they look over at you, it's a total stranger, and they say, how can I make myself happy? What do you say?

My first instinct, I would just say, smile. Like, that's just what came to me. How can I make, like, just smile? I know when my kids were really upset, when they were, I was like, you need to smile. And I would smile at them, and they would smile back. And you can't frown when you're smiling, you know, and it's really hard to cry when you're smiling. So I think, you know, I'm sure there's studies on this too. I think just. Just smile. And also just have faith that whatever is happening to you, it's for a really good reason.

I love that, Lori. And you know what? I just talked to somebody about the science of it, actually, which is so crazy. And your body, they're now proving that your body tells your brain what to feel. So smiling actually chemically changes you and tells your brain what to think.

So I'm.

There you go. All right. Thank you so much for being on. And you guys, if you loved this episode as much as I did, make sure you share it with your friends. And until next time, earn your happy.

Bye, everyone.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing, and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review. If you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think. Tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye. Bye.