20+ Years Of Highs, Lows & Lessons Learned As A Couple With Katrina And Brian Scott

When you are at absolute rock bottom and when you're stripped of everything, either physically or mentally or both, it feels like garbage in the moment. But the truth is, it's one of the best gifts you can ever be given because you get to choose again.

And we're back with another episode of.

He Said, she Said, and we're changing.

It up a little bit on you guys this week. So our good Brian and Katrina Scott interviewed us, and we thought this was such a good episode. The way that it turned out, it'd be a cool way for you to learn our backstory.

So we sat down at the table. Was both of us couples. We opened up a bottle of wine, and she hit record. And you can tell that this is for her podcast on Live Beautifully. But we love the conversation so much that we wanted to share it here as well, because we don't always share.

Too much of our backstory, and we went pretty deep here.

So after you listen to this episode, number one, I hope that you love it. Number two, be sure to go to her podcast Live Beautifully. You can find it on Instagram @livebeautifully, or you can just go to anywhere that you listen to your podcast and check out ivebeautifully, because she has some awesome guests and some awesome episodes.

I'm so happy that we're doing doing this over Rose.

It's the only way to do it.

It seems very fitting for all of us.

Chris and Lori Harder, welcome to the podcast.

So excited to be Is this. Is this life?

We're actually here with you, so thank you for having us, because we're at your house studio. Yeah. We're at their dining room table. Their home is beautiful. I walked in, I gasped, you guys. And then I walked to the back patio, and I looked at the pool, and I turned around in the kitchen. I looked at Lori. I said, this is so. So you.

That is awesome.

It's like the ultimate stamp of approval because we watch you guys and think, oh, my God, I could have an ounce of that style.

Oh, I. I did a high kick in your office.

I walked in, and I. And I tried to get my foot as, like, up to the ceiling as I could because I was so excited for you. I know that you found your way in Scottsdale. Lori and I did an episode before this, and we're like, what brought us here? But there's no coincidences. Nope, there's nothing. And I know people say it's like, things are meant to be, but they totally are. And if you don't understand It. When you're in the thick of it, you understand.

On the other side, look at my tattoo, right? My tattoo right here says, live as though the universe conspires in your favor. And it was something that. It's a butchered roomy quote, completely butchered. And I needed that to keep reframing every single thing that would happen in life, whether it was, you know, having expectation let down, whether I thought I failed at something. I had to be able to train myself to see the silver lining in it. And this is just a small reminder to me to always see the upside of every possible scenario.

I feel like that defines you and who you are, and I love that tattoo for you. You guys, I just took a flat lay of it. His arm is laid out on his, and it's going to be on livebeautifully.com. so if any of you want to show it to your tattoo artist, you may do so. All right. For anyone that hasn't seen anything from you guys, and this could be an hour or it could be a shortened version. Whatever you guys want to do. But tell. Tell everyone how you guys met. I mean, what was he doing? What exercise was he like?

Yeah, yeah.

He was doing neck exercises. And then tell me, did you picture yourselves working with each other as soon as you dated?

Like, first of all, we have two sides of the story, and it's not a brief story. I don't know how much we can make it.

We can make it. And I think we need to start with saying we've been married over 18 years in August.

Yeah. Known each other 21 years.

Yeah, yeah. And so we met when she was 21 and I was 24, got married when she was 24 and I was 27. And it's flown by. I don't know how you feel, but I cannot believe how fast 18 years goes, to be honest.

I remember we had a set of neighbors when we first moved into one of our houses, and they were married 10 years. And I was like, oh, my God, that's a long time. And we became friends with them. And then 10 years came, and I was like, oh, it goes by real fast.

Whoa. So we met at a gym in Green Bay, Wisconsin, and Lori was the brand new girl at the gym. And when I say brand new, like, day one, she had just moved back from different cities. Yeah, in your words, kind of. Kind of collect your life.

So I had just moved back home in with my parents after being out for a couple years. So I was in a really not good place because I Did not want to be moving back home. But just to summarize real quick, I had moved in with roommates. We were all raised in a. All three of us who live together in a really restrictive religion. So when we moved out it was not a good scene. It was like everybody was out being their most wild selves and it. I was the only one who ended up having a job and they stopped paying the rent and there was lots of parties, they were making keys. There was a lot of drugs in my apartment. It was really bad and I had to go. I called my dad, I said don't tell mom and but things are really.

Really bad right now.

I said there's strangers who are sleeping in my house and there's drugs and I need to come home. And so I had about six months of that lease left and I said but I need to come home and make some money and just get my life together. So it was the last place that I wanted to go was back home because that kind of meant back under my parents rules. And I just come from two years of not having that.

And so I think for context and your mom had really strict rules, really strict rules.

Really, really strict. So it was back to like 9 o' clock curfew. She wanted me to go back know church with her all I should be.

21 and having a 9 o' clock curfew.

So I am moved back home. There's not a. I'm still paying me now.

That would be great.

Yeah, exactly. Now I would love it.

I have to go to bed at night.

She had me out till 2:30 the other night.

I was like oh my God, no. What is this? I don't even know what that hour is. It's terrible. So long story short, I was sleeping in my little brother who is 14 years younger than me, his room because there was not a, there was not a bedroom for me. And he ended up just sleeping in like my parents. My mom's like my sewing room slash little office space. And so I'm in this bed that has this bedroom that has sticky stars in the ceiling, star wars on the wall and dinosaurs on my headboard that are glowing in the dark. And I'm like how did I get back here? So I have always known that fitness is kind of my way back to myself. And I was in an ugly place. I was drinking too much. It was just not a good place. And so I joined a gym. And I'm like the gym is going to be my savior. This is going to be place my sanctuary. And I go to the gym for the first day, and all of a sudden I sign up, and at the front, and the guy who's at the whatever, the check in guy, his name is Al, and he is very, very, very outgoing. And he says to me, I look at him and he says, oh, you have copies. This is my first interaction as she's checking in, as I'm checking, and I go, what are copies? He goes, you can see all the bad things I've been doing. And I'm like, this is really interesting. And this is the only gym for me to join, by the way. So I'm kind of like, this is my only. My only saving grace here. So then he's like. I'm like, oh, okay. So I'd already. I'd signed up, but this is my first day working out. And he goes, did you know I'm a model? So this was right after this, like, immediately after, I go, I didn't know because I've never met you. And he grabs a Shopco flyer.

Big pre Instagram, right?

Sure enough, that's his body. And tidy whities, like, kind of big belly, but like a ripped belly, you know, Like. And I was like, oh, there you are. Like, there you are, those tidy whities. So I check in, go put my stuff in the locker and come out. And so I'm doing. I'm doing curls. And yes, this gets me headed. I'm in the mirror. I have my old school headphones on, you guys. Over the top, over the head there. They're the wire.

Like the Walkman, Iron bell.

Oh, yes. I did have a CD player at this time. So it was when they just started, and I had it strapped around my waist. And this guy comes up to me and taps me on the shoulder. And I take my or I put the weights down, back on the rack, I'm like, he's literally tapping me on the shoulder.

You guys, mid set, not me, by the way.

I take my phones down, I put the weights down, and he's like, hey. Like, hey. He's like, my name's Jake. And he points to his shoulder, tattoo that says Jake on it. Same, same name, different guy from the front desk. So this is a different guy. So this is the second guy. And so it points to Jake, like, as if he forgets his name often and has to look down at his arm. And he. I'm like, hi, Jake. And he goes, do you smoke? I go, no, I don't. And he goes, no, no, no, not cigarettes. Do you smoke weed? I go, no. And he goes, oh, well, would you ever want to go smoke weed with me and my girlfriend after this? And I go, no. And so I. He just kind of looks at me puzzled, and he's like, okay, like, kind of ditzy.

And.

And Chris knows Jake, so he knows this is very on par for him. So when I told him the story after, he was like, this is hilarious. And so I'm like, in the Twilight Zone at this point now poor Chris is the third guy to essentially hit on me.

I'm just a victim of bad timing, that's all.

Anything special, you guys? This is just what happens when you're in a small town and you're, you know, you look semi normal, I guess.

So we're walking out of the gym and I of course, noticed her there, but by serendipity, she was parked right next to me to park a lot. So we're walking out kind of side by side, same time. I might have kind of coordinated that, you know. I'm sure it wasn't a coincidence.

What were you driving at the time?

Oh, God, I don't remember. Probably like a Pontiac Grand Prix or something, right?

And.

I started with a granddad, graduated up to Grand Prix. Yes.

Midwest.

And so I looked over. It would have been operated, but it look over. So I looked over and I said, hey, are you new here? And that was it. And she looked at me and she goes, yep.

No, I don't think. With like the kind of.

The head snap. And just got in her car and closed the door. Yes, you did.

I swear to God, I was angry.

I have evidence.

So it's like, not another Jake, right?

I got my car and I remember thinking. I remember thinking, oh, she sucks. Yeah, I got my car, remember thinking, oh, well, she sucks. And I thought that was it. I'll never talk to her again. And a couple months went by of us seeing each other at the gym and finally at the drinking fountain, of all places, drink. And I turn around and there's Lori. And she felt guilty about how she treated me in the parking lot.

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Because I watched him, and everybody at this gym, like, loved him. I could tell he would walk in and people would light up, and he was like, the mayor. And I was like, okay, this guy. Everybody likes this guy.

Notice she just admitted guilt about. Yes.

Yeah, no, yes.

And she's like, hey, I never got to meet you. And that was the start, you know, 21 years ago of us building this life together.

And I friend zoned you hard, though, which was. Which was great because I got to know you as a friend for, like.

Six months, as persistent. I'll tell you what, in these 21 years, we have had the craziest ups and the craziest downs and reset buttons and maybe even near divorces. And I think what's gotten us through all the different people you become to think about from 21 to 24 and then 24 to 27 and then to 30 and 33 and then 15 different people, you become such different people. You should almost have different names along the way. And what keeps you together is if you choose to grow together because you're not going to stop from changing. Matter of fact, you shouldn't be obligated to stay the same. You should be changing. But as you change, you got to choose to change together. And we've always had this policy. We've always said that we're willing to try it on for size. And what I mean by that is just like trying on an outfit to see if it looks good on you or not. If she brings me a crazy idea or if she wants to be a different person, I'll at least try it on precise before judging it and vice versa. And I think that's what's kind of kept us in the game.

And there's been so many of those moments that we learn or that we have kind of like the tough points for tried on for size, I think, came from moments where I was doing something different that you were like, what are you doing? Or maybe you do something that I'm like, oh, God, that's not what I expected out of this. Where there are these moments in your relationship where you know someone's going one way that you didn't expect. And communication is like the most. It's the most important part of your relationship, because if you can just talk about it and go, hey, you know, tell me about why you're interested in that. Like, what am I? Maybe I'm missing Something I want to understand what this means to you. And that's always been, I think, really big for us is to go, why does this. What does this mean to you?

And why?

And then when you understand that it helps, you really get on board with it and go, okay, I don't need to love it. I don't need to even understand it. But if it means this for him or if it means this for me, then I think that I can, like, let that be whatever. You know, it's interesting.

I think over the, you know, the 18 years married we had, when the last recession hit 0809, I was in banking. And we're living beyond our means at the time. So I thought all my promotions and all my bonuses would last forever.

Oh, yeah, when you're young, you're just.

Like, this is all, you know, I lost my job after spending a year flying around, you know, laying off probably a thousand people one by one by one. And then it became my turn and I came home and I told Lori, I said, babe, I've got something to tell you. I lost my job today. And in addition to that, we're gonna have to sell this house that we just built, and we're gonna have to get rid of the cars, we're gonna have to get rid of rental properties. And really, we've been living beyond our means. And I was so scared to come home and tell her that, because back then my value was as a provider. You know, the old school idea like, I'm gonna be the male and I'm going to be a good provider. And as long as I give her a. Oh, a life where she can.

Be right, men still feel that.

Yeah. Yeah. I told Lori, basically, we're losing everything, gotta start over. And she was quiet and she took it all in. But instead of blowing up on me or instead of blaming me or instead of doing all that, any of that stuff, I remember the first thing you said. You looked at me after a while of silence and you said, I'm never gonna let this happen again. And that really became your launching off point, where you became the lorry that people know today. That's when you got into fitness. That's when you got in everything. So I guess if I'm saying anything to span all those years together, and I'm sure we'll have more ups and downs in our future, hopefully more ups than downs. You just got to be a unit that says, when you're down, I'll get us. And when I'm down, you get us. And you just got to take turns, you know, lifting each other up and kicking each other back in the game.

I'm impressed by how much confidence, like, it. You may not have even realized it took to say that, but, like, you knew you believed in yourself, and you were very fortunate to be with a woman who believed in herself. And back to a couple of things you guys said. Like, everyone at this table here, there's four of us. We've all been together with our significant other for 20 years plus.

Wow.

We've been so many different people, too.

Over the last 20 years.

We've had the added benefit of having, like, a pretty long timeline to experience each other's, you know, different personalities. Let's go on different, like, types. And I think that, you know, when you look back, like, man, we have so much to. To, you know, be thankful.

College graduation and stuff.

Experience of life together already. And, you know, there's personal and also business. And I think that's something that we'll talk about today.

It's just, what's it like working with.

That person you've known for 20 years? It's interesting. So it's like working with 10 different people. There's just one of them.

And so you say, too, like, honoring each other's new things that you're interested in, because curiosity is so important in life and relationships and what you want to do in the future. And playing, like, we need to play to figure out what fits. And you. It's so crazy, too, being parents, and you see your kids playing all day, like, and you're like, when did that stop? At what point did someone say, okay, stop playing. Choose one career. Choose one thing, and, like, live with it and never try anything new ever again. And it is so scary. But I remember moving with Brian for the first time. You don't know this story, and I really, really wanted to launch Tone it up dot com. He actually came up with the name, but I was like, I wanted so many things, but I was embarrassed to have a journal. And I lived with him for the first time that I would actually, like, hide my journal of, like, my goals and stuff because I was, like, afraid that he.

Excuse me. It's weird.

Yeah. And if you're in a relationship where you feel like you're going to be judged or whatever, and I don't even know if I was afraid of judgment. I just thought, like, we were moving in together for the first time, and he. He got, like, the tripod and the camera and everything, but I didn't want him to see My goals, because I was like, what if it fails? Or, you know, and we had such a strong bond already, but I think.

That we all do that where we're.

A little embarrassed about maybe, maybe some of our dreams. And then I woke up one day and I was like, I'm gonna start leaving out and see what happens. And you were fine with it. And it was all in my head.

I wasn't snooping around. Reading was your diary.

It was like a notebook of my.

Goals and what I wanted to do for YouTube because YouTube is new. But I love what you said because it pulled things out of you that I didn't. I haven't thought about that in so long. But I'm a big journal. Like every. Everything that I feel like I've gone through is in a journal. But I was so embarrassed. It's like someone finding your diary.

Yeah, Keys.

I should add a key.

Totally. This is who you think you are. It's that moment. It's the reveal. It's like, wait, so you think you can do this? And it's like the opt in of when you share that having your partner go, you know, even if at first you're like, okay, you know, I've had moments where maybe it's like somebody in your life says they can do or they think they can do something, and your response should. You should work on it right now to have it be great. How can I support you? I see this in you for sure.

This is interesting. When Lori. So back to that timeline when I'm like, hey, babe, we're losing everything. She said, hey, this never happened again. She got into fitness. She started doing really well right away in the beginning, and that lit a fire in her. And I remember she's like, I want to really take this serious. I really want to get coverage. I really want to do all these things that she ended up doing. And there was this moment, this inflection point. Talk about, like proclaiming your goals and will your partner support you or not? There was this inflection point where I would tell her, now remember, we're starting over financially, so money's a stress. I would tell her, babe, go for it, babe. Yes, babe, I support you. But then my actions would back it up. So when she would go buy a whole bunch of chicken and a whole bunch of fresh produce and come home with a great big grocery bill, I'd complain about it and. And like borderline harass her about it. Or when she would have to buy one of these, you know, 18 trillion dollar bikinis. For a stage, by the way. And I was this major point of resistance for her through my actions.

Yeah.

And she sat me down, and this was the best things that she's ever done. She sat me down. She said, all right, listen, this is not working. She said, you tell me that you want me to do this. You tell me you want me to go for it. You tell me you want me to get the covers and all this. And I really believe I can. But then all you do is complain when I spend the money or when I have to go to the singer, buy this bikini. And she looked at me and she said, so tell me now, are you either in and we're going to do this, or are we quitting right now? You decide, are you in? Do you support this or are we quitting? And my immediate visceral answer was, oh, we're in. Like, I actually meant it that we're in. And I didn't realize that my actions were holding her back. And until you sometimes sit down, first you proclaim your dreams, but then sit down and stand up for them the way she did. And that's not easy to do to your partner sometimes. Had you not done that, who knows what would have happened?

I can't live. And I. And I think people are probably listening, feeling it right now. Like, I can't live with the mixed messages. Like, the. And for me, it was if there's something in your life that's really holding you back. And I wanted him. I wanted him bought in. So it was a moment of me having to actually face off with myself and go. I mean, what. What you didn't know is I was having a moment with myself going, I have to believe in me. Like, this is the moment for me that I. I'm going to believe that this can happen. And I'm going to, you know, I have to bring this to you and say, I'm going all in. This is going to be what we're going to do. And we either have to both be all in or we have to be all out. Because I can't live halfway anymore. And the halfway life gets you halfway results which aren't results at all. And I think those were the moments in our life where, by the way, the stories you're hear, hearing are like, if you're in a rock bottom, I think it's the most powerful place you can be.

Yeah.

When everything that you thought was going to be gets ripped away from you, I think that's when your ultimate, like, purpose gets to come out and you get the opportunity to. To choose to become the person you got sent here to be. And I think that that is what that was for us.

When I lost. When I lost that career, I was waiting for the world's largest bank. Maybe the most important era of our life. Right. Because this is when all this was going on. We were becoming. Taking all these different detours. Right. And when. So I was one of the fastest rising executives at the world's largest bank, and I thought it was going to last forever. Hence the whole, like, spending next year's money and all that kind of thing. And when I lost that career, I thought my life was over as a man, like I was. I would have been 29 at the time.

Isn't that so crazy?

Yeah.

You're like, oh, I'm so old, there's nothing left for me. I'm supposed to get it all figured out. There is so much pressure on men.

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There's so much pressure on men and women. Men, we, like, bury it down like we're supposed to be strong.

Yeah, there's pressure on women, but we, we've, we vocalize it. There's groups, there's all these things. We have podcasts about it, but men, you know.

Yeah, we're supposed to nacho or something. Well, I remember I. I was stripped of my identity. So my identity at the time was. What was my title? What was my next promotion? How many people do I Do I lead? And I stripped of my identity, I stripped of my purpose. I was stripped of what I thought was important, being a, quote, provider. And I felt like an absolute loser, like a. Like a shell of a partner to Lori. And I remember having so much insecurity around. Is she even going to want to be with me going forward? Because I had no plan. I didn't know what I was going to do next. You know, my only experience was banking in a banking recession. And if you remember, back then, it was like the end of the world. You know what I mean? So the thing about where I'm trying to bring this is when you are at absolute rock bottom and when you're stripped of everything, either physically or mentally or both, it feels like garbage in the moment. But the truth is, it's one of the best gifts you can ever be given because you get to choose again. You don't get to choose again when you got momentum. You don't get to choose again when everything's going your way. You don't get to choose again when you're stuck on the freeway and you're going, you know, 80 miles an hour. But when you're forced to sit out and you're stripped of everything, you get to choose again. I remember, how do I want to add value this time? How do I want to show up this time? What do I really want to do that would make me happy this time? And it's just, you got to look back at those moments, and if you're going through it right now, you got to understand you're going to look back on this moment, and it's going to be a gift, not going to last forever.

I think we have a teaser for the episode right there. You guys were pouring another glass, wine. But when we first got here, Brian, of course, like, he's an inspector. You can hear the wine point. And he was just like. Like looking at the beams of the ceiling and looking at the hardware and trying to solve any problems they have. Like, oh, if you want to do this, you can actually sandblast that. And then he like, oh, let me look at the fridge. And he's like, is this what you guys eat? And then he went in the pantry.

No, we do.

I see a salted roasted pistachio.

Where are you from?

Where were you born?

New Hampshire.

Okay, so this is called. This is like Midwest love when. So you know that you are in the inner circle when you walk into someone's home and you go in their fridge and you look at their pantry and you see how they live. And that is literally it. It is the sign that you are like, like in the circle, so happy.

If you're wondering how they live, they drink a lot of fluids and I don't know if they eat.

There's more dog food and, and, and fuel for those puppies. Then there is for you guys.

We're really working on it, you guys. No, it's a thing for us right now that we are trying to get back to healthy, which actually, when we do order doordash, it's usually healthy.

Ish.

But we're working really hard to try to get back to that. Actually, we're not working.

You bought an air fryer and it's been sitting there for a month.

Yeah, she's using it tonight.

I bought an air fryer that was. And I did it on Amazon, so that wasn't very hard.

So talk to me about that time in 2007. Well, we're going into recession and a lot of people, especially men in relationships, will feel shame. How did you sit with your shame and how did you come out of it? Because shame is such a horrible feeling, especially for men who don't talk about. I mean, you know, suicide rates are higher for men. Men don't share about their feelings or if they're actually thinking about ending your life. And it is. It is a problem. It's going to be even greater over the next couple years.

It's interesting. You know, I just got done saying I was totally strict my identity and felt like a shell of a partner and had no value and was afraid that she was going to leave me. And add to that, I had gained like 30 pounds at a time, so I didn't even feel like a sexy partner. Like, I mean, literally rock bottom.

But did you also feel like maybe you had something to live for because you had her?

You know what's interesting? The fact that she was like, I'm never gonna let this happen again, and then start taking all this action. I felt like this feeling that she had my back and she was going to carry us for a while. And it almost gave me permission to take some time to figure out how I want to show up again. And, you know, you asked about what I do, who did I talk to. I didn't have the type of friends that you talked to about this stuff back then. It was just like bros. And add to that, this was probably what, 12, 13, 14 years ago. So it wasn't even widely talked about for now.

Yet in the Midwest, it was not.

There weren't podcasts looking at your feelings. Yeah. And so I was probably in a dangerous position because I didn't have many people to talk to about these things. But I remember this is when I found self development. There was some kind of event coming to town. And one of my co workers had been before, he's like, hey, this thing's coming to town. You should go to it. And I remember thinking, why would I go to something like that even though I'm hurting inside? Right? And I brought it home and I told Lori. And you know what's funny? I wonder why I told you. Subconsciously, I must have wanted it.

So I remember the story. I was asking for it because I was. My panic attacks were getting so bad that I was starting to not want to be around people. I. So I started getting so socially so much social anxiety that before we would go out with anyone, I was. I hate to even say this, but I was drinking four or five beers literally before we would go to dinner with people. And then at dinner, I would drink like four or five more drinks. And what's sad is this was kind of socially acceptable in Wisconsin at the time. And so my coping mechanisms were so bad, and I had such big dreams that I knew that these were not working well together. So. And I wanted to be a speaker. I wanted to be out in the world. But my anxiety and panic attacks had gotten to a point where they were debilitating. So I had asked Chris. I said, I don't know who to ask, but would you just go to work? Because I. I'd never been in corporate America. Like, I never even knew what that looked like. I said, would you just ask around your office? Anybody knows if there's like a therapist or an event or something I could go to? So you started asking about it, and your co worker told you.

And the most unlikely guy, like, of everybody in the office, the guy that would get drunk and naked, I don't up. So I'm telling you, so many the people change your life are the ones that you don't expect. So I asked around, and he's the guy you think would make fun of you for asking. He's like, dude, I got it. You got to go. The same called land work for him and it's coming to town. And so I came home and I told Lori and she said, we're going. And I remember tickets were 600 bucks a person back then. Wow.

And a lot of money.

We thought it might as well been six grand a person. Like, to us, that was a ton of money back then. So never been to self development, have to spend this money on these tickets. And I went and I remember thinking, and I'm not proud of this, but if you've ever been to something like this, you know, people take turns, get up on mike and they share the problems. I remember thinking, oh my God, these people have so many problems. I'm glad I'm not like them now. Remember, I'm riddled with problems. This is like me in denial, me just being your typical guy. And I went from judging everybody that first day to the third day. Having so many breakthroughs and such a different perspective on life and learning things like nothing has any meaning other than the meaning that you apply to it. And the concept of stories, you know, building stories around things and you find evidence to support what you want to believe. All these things are fundamentals of how we live today. I wouldn't have found that without going there that weekend. And that became the tipping point for me. Just wanting to go all in and find as much self development as possible. So the short answer to your question would be now this stuff is readily available. Back then there weren't podcasts, there weren't as many books you couldn't access, they weren't accessible on audio. Right. It's not like it wasn't prevalent for men to talk about this stuff the way it is today. Today there are a lot more choices. So if someone's hurting, if somebody feels like they've been stripped of their identity, someone's scared, go seek all of these different modalities to dive into some form of self development until you find the one that fits you.

I just, I, I feel like if we can offer anything from now being old. Yeah it is that those are the moments that really have made us with. Without those moments, we would have never gotten to deepen our relationship, gotten to like find these things that you're, you're not seeking the stuff that changes your life until these things happen. And so if anybody is sitting in it right, right now, like I believe those are the gifts. They just are. They're, they're the tipping points that make you do things you would never do. They're the things that make you go and seek people and, and like figure out these skills in your marriage and how to communicate that you would never normally need. So those are kind of my favorite parts about our marriage and just friendships and relationships are those, those moments that are like, what now? Never thought I'd see ourselves here.

Well, it's interesting that you were struggling with Your panic attacks, which I only started having those within the last couple years. And if any of you have never had a panic attack, it's like you. The world feels like it's ending and you cannot move your body. And you were looking for something and you gave him permission as a mail to ask a male colleague. There was something happening and he had a breakthrough all weekend.

Interesting.

And he wouldn't have gone through that. It was like. Giving permission to each other as a couple is so important in a way that maybe if you express your needs, the other person may need it even more.

Yeah.

Wow.

And you don't even know.

Oh, that's so cool.

I'm also a big believer now. When you express your needs to other people, you're actually giving them a chance to use their gifts.

Yes.

If you. If you hold it all in. If you don't ask for help, if. If you don't express your needs, you're actually robbing people around you that could feel value. Like. Like people have a chance to add value. You're robbing them of that opportunity.

This is such a theme, though, is this came up on our podcast that Kat and I just recorded before. This is the. The closest relationships I have in my life is because one of the parties came to the person and was vulnerable and said, I either need this or, you know, this is where I'm at. Or can you come help me this weekend on this project? Like, those were the moments that have made my best friends is because we had to lean on each other so hard. Like, one of my best friends was created. Lindsay Schwartz was because we were doing an event together. But during the event, my dog died while I was not home. And she saw me in the most horrendous. I. I don't have children. This is my first dog. It happened while I was away. It's like our childhood.

I want to talk about a funny full circle thing. So Lori's away at this event, can't come back. I have to put the dog down. Who comes to spend the day with me? Brian, I don't know if you remember this or not. That was a rough day.

We didn't even know each other.

That.

No. At no point. But for whatever reason, I just.

And you know.

Yeah.

So my question is because this proves my point, because I'm bonding with one of my best friends while I'm gone and you're with him. Did you feel like you guys got way closer because you got through a hard time?

Absolutely. For sure. That became the bond that became the.

Foundation Right there, you know, and letting you, Chris, see or, like, letting Brian see you in that really vulnerable time is like, what makes relationships. So the things that we think will make relationships are actually not. It's like the moments when someone can lean on you, when someone needs you.

It's almost to me. I don't know how you guys feel about this, but an honor for someone to call and ask for help.

Oh, yes.

And it's like, wow, they trust me with this. Yes. I'm. I'm in. What do you need? And you. You drop everything because you're like, I. I'm gonna do this because this person actually really cares about me, obviously, because they want me to come into their most, you know, their darkest moment.

It's maybe the highest honor to have somebody trust you in. In their time of need. Right. Lori taught me something a long time ago. I feel like I learned all the best things from Lori. There's a key to a good job.

You're so true.

Her love language is words of affirmation.

Yes.

Is it?

Yes.

You write me a card, I will cherish that.

Yeah. But if I get her a physical gift, she's like, like, what's this?

I mean, I'll take a. I'll take a no.

Where I got her was our wedding vows. So, like, I had just met her, and a couple months later, I went to Australia for, like, a study abroad semester and all that. And I had a journal, probably because I saw you journaling or something. And I actually wrote, like, someday I'm going to marry you, and, like, put all these things out in the world and then read the journal entries like.

Oh, I had written my vows five minutes before I walked down the aisle. Brian wrote his vows 10 years before. Oh, my gosh. Anywho, that's for another episode.

Now I'm gonna ask about your love language.

I love the dichotomy between the two of you. I think, you know, we're the same way. This is the mark of a good partnership. You said that, you know, you had fun and you partied, and he was like, extra good. You know, back when you first met. You're the type to write your vows five minutes before. So am I. He ten years earlier.

Yeah, it was intentional.

Those are the relationships that were good. Yeah. It's a completely side random thought, but people always ask, hey, you know, how do I find a partner like Lori? How do I find a partner like, so and so? The truth is, you don't find somebody like, how we are now. You find somebody that you have a few common foundational things in common with. Right. Ours was fitness, working out, and we were both big dreamers. And then somebody who also has extreme opposites of you instead of trying to find a perfect match. Because it's those opposites that makes the other person interesting and they have something to add to your value to, to your life. Right. They kind of fill your gaps and.

They pull things out of you.

Yes.

That you wouldn't have necessarily. He wouldn't dance. And then now he's like the life of the party, dancing, little happy feet. That's the beautiful part of relationship, is that you can also complement each other and your qualities and then pull things out of each other that you didn't necessarily see yourself.

Yeah.

And so, and that's such a nice thing about you guys is like you. One of your greatest qualities is you see someone in their potential. You know, if things push you down, you having a partnership or a friend or anything, that's so important in, in friendships too. So thank you guys for being those people for us.

You know how you run parallel lives.

And it's like you're.

You guys are living your life over here and we're over here and sometimes once in a while we intersect, but.

Our journeys haven't intersected a lot.

But at the same time, we're on the same, on the same road. And what's so, what's funny is like I have these people in my head and you're one of these people and couples who have always inspired me along the way. And bar setters. Yeah, definitely. Bar setters. Like you guys set the bar on what? You know, even, even relationship wise. I just, I feel like you guys have been out there and the importance of even being vulnerable and showing what's going on in your lives and just in your business and, and being, I don't know, just. I feel like, I feel like you've been showing the journey and been fully you. And I think that that has been just like so inspiring, knowing you guys.

I've got a great tangible example. First time you guys had us over for dinner in your beautiful Manhattan beach home.

I remember my favorite house.

I got there and I was watching Brian be the ultimate, like the ultimate host, the ultimate cook, the ultimate decorated, the ultimate everything. And I left. Yeah. I don't know if you remember, in the car, I'm like, oh, I gotta step it up. Yeah.

And I was like, you're a piece of shit.

Yeah. I was like, I'm seriously. It was a wake up call. It was A wake up call. We talked about it.

Love language is entertaining, though.

Oh, I could appreciate that. And also after being married for this long, like, so appreciate the things that you do and your unique gifts. And for not, like, not doing that, I'm like, that's not his own genius. He'll never be that. So I'm not going to, like, hold him. I'm not going to hold him to that whatsoever. Because I don't want him to go to something and hold me to something that I'm like, hey, you know what, Chris?

Love me for me.

Did you see what she was doing?

Yeah. You see how dressed up she got? Like, don't.

Brian got the nickname of dad in college by his own roommates.

Oh, wow.

Because he was not only setting, making sure everyone has having a good time, and the doors were locked and knocking, getting in trouble. He lived with basketball players, but he.

Bedtime stories.

Yeah. He was like, do your dishes, you guys. Wash your washer. They were. They were all athletes. So, like, wash your clothes. It smells in here. No, he should have been an ra. He was basically an RA with a bunch of athletes that he. And he was like the guy studying management at Bentley. So. And they would all be like, oh, dad and I, when I first started dating him, I'm like, oh, that's funny. And then all my girlfriends, without knowing that we didn't mix and mingle friends yet. Oh, we're like, hey, dad. Because he was like, he's. Phone, wallet. Do you have your purse? Making sure we all.

Yeah.

And then like, are you hungry? Yeah.

Is your. Is your glass filled? Like, do you need anything? His love language is making sure that everyone in the room is taken care of, but also safe acts of service and protected. Yes. Oh, my goodness.

So is your service. Do you like that? I just love receiving it.

There's the love language.

Feed me, babe.

Love language is actually helping other people. I know you get so much out of particular, particularly helping women, like, experience their best, most confident self.

That is.

I love nothing more than seeing my friends thrive and feel powerful.

Like, we were on a walk. I distinctly remember this. And she's like, what should I name this podcast?

Like, duh.

It's like, name it what your mission is, the emotion you want your listeners to feel. You want them to live beautifully. Whatever that means.

Oh, my God, I love my girlfriends. Feel beautiful. Like there's nothing better. I just want to be. I just want to set up photo shoots. Actually, I'm doing it, so I'm going.

Yeah.

Because we're Doing a whole content shoot. And I told my sister in law who's a photographer, Katie Scott. Catherine Scott, photography mixing.

I think she's Katie Dean on Instagram.

So yeah, and whatever your inst.

She's in my phone still as Katie Dean. But she married Brian's brother. Now we're sisters, which is amazing. And like do you want to set up a shoot? But like how fun to help with hair, makeup and make people feel so beautiful.

We are so special around stuff.

It's just, it's nice. I, I would love to be, I don't know, maybe the future. I would be on the other side of the camera and help women in all ways. Like not only feeling beautiful on the outside, but on the inside.

So just think about what you were.

Doing back in college.

Like when we met, like you were.

Like head trainer at the gym at Keene State and you were also where every one of your girlfriends would go to get ready and have their makeup, their hair, their clothing all figured out before, like going to the railro road.

Bar, shout out to the railroads like a wet head.

They just got out of the shower. Like, let's, let's blow out your hair. Yeah. Just want everyone to feel pretty and feel confident and smart and, and monetize that.

If you can monetize doing what you love and helping other people, that's the formula. And people get stuck. They choose jobs, they choose income sources saying, well, you know, I don't really think you could monetize X, Y and Z or oh, I feel, I feel guilty charging for X, Y and Z. And then they get stuck. They get stuck in a job they don't want to be doing. They get stuck in a salary that they are totally misaligned. If people would only say the way you were so passionately, oh, I just want to help people feel beautiful and do this and make that their career at the same time. That's, that's a win win for everybody.

Money is an act of faith. You put money up and you say, I am putting. It's money where, you know, put your mouth. Yeah, put money where your mouth is. It literally says, I'm gambling this. I'm putting this down because I believe this is where I meant to be. This is what we're meant to do. And I'm going to put this here. It's, it is literally putting your, it's putting your flag in the ground.

I've got examples of where we spent money where we never should have, but it worked out because it was an act of faith. And demonstrating abundance, buying those 2, 600 tickets when we were completely starting over financially, matter of fact, so I got a big severance package. We had to use all of it to pay off debt, still had debt left over. We sold. We had just built this great big house that we had a short sell. I like to say I made short selling cool because I did it before everybody else was doing it. And we had to sell all of our furniture on Craigslist that we had just furnished the house with. So one by one, cars would pull up in front of the house and people would come into the home. They'd bargain for the couch, they'd bargain for the tv, they'd bargain for whatever.

Pennies on a dollar lease.

But here's what happened. We had just enough cash by doing that to prepay one year's lease on this really expensive condo building down in uptown Minneapolis at the time. Now, the condo that we got in there was a mother in law suite. Literally, it was somebody's extra unit from their unit upstairs. This was downstairs. They put it up for lease. And I was able to prepay one year's lease on that so we could have the Runway to reinvent ourselves and figure out how are we going to make our comeback. And there would have been better places for me to put that money. There would have been textbook smarter places for me to put that money than prepaying that place. We could have stayed in a much cheaper apartment or condo. But I knew that that place was going to inspire us. I knew that place was going to make us feel abundant. I knew that there were going to be connections and people in that place that gave us ideas and helped us with our comeback. And guess what? There were like, shout out to Nick Larson still to this day. You owned a hedge fund. He's like 27 with a hedge fund. And he's like, oh, let me teach you really about money and how it works. I wouldn't have known Nick and gotten those lessons without fighting our way into that building that we should. And so whether it's a ticket to an event or whether it's a certain place that you feel like you need to live, or whether it's a plane ticket to New York to do the.

Interviews, gotta be in it and around.

Sometimes you have to make these, quote, irresponsible demonstrations of abundance to stick your flag in the ground and say, here's where I'm going or here's what I need. And it'll absolutely pay dividends when you, when you do those brave things.

Yeah, I just want to share one more, because when we had started making some money with network marketing, but we were by no means doing great whatsoever. And I wanted to host women's events and also do, like, personal development. Women's events. Yeah, the main thing was doing events. I wanted to. I was going to a lot of personal development events at the time, and I wanted to give that back to other women. And I believed in them so wholeheartedly because of what it had done for us. And I wanted to learn how to do them. And I hadn't heard of anybody teaching how to do them. And I love Jack Canfield all at the time. And he had done Chicken Soup for the Soul. I don't know if you've ever heard it. Yeah, I had subscribed to all of his emails, and he had sent an email out that said, train the trainer. And he was only taking 70 people for this. Train the trainer. And if you. If you took this course, you would learn how to put on events and be able to take people through meditations and workshops.

You were definitely a first mover in that.

I was a. I was definitely a first mover.

Humor and. Which is brave.

So he sent this out, and I was like, this is me. I. I need to, like, know how to train these people.

Oh, my God.

I want to do meditation. Want to do all these things. And so I click on, I'm bought in.

I'm reading the email.

I'm like, I am doing this. I was so committed. I click on the link to see how much it is.

25,000.

$5,000. I know where I was at the moment. I was in Santa Monica. I was in Palace Park. I was on a run. And for some reason, like, I. I think I had my, like, dings on for my email or something. I don't know why I looked at it. Maybe I stopped because I was tired.

I have no idea.

And I was reading this email and I was like, I knew I had to do it. We didn't have the money. Did not have the money.

She was so scared to tell me.

And I told him. And I'm like, I'm gonna do this. I committed the moment I read the email and I saw the price. I'm like, I'm doing this, by the way.

She didn't ask.

I didn't ask.

She informed me. And I mean that in a positive.

Way with, yeah, here's the thing. There are people listening who are like, you either know or you don't. Yeah, you either know or you don't. And I knew, and I knew that if I did this, that the. I don't, I don't know where this came from, but I don't know if this quote, like, literally came from this moment. But it's something that I say all the time, like, because it's, it's who I am and how I have to be. You have to put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. This was my first moment of putting so much on the line that my higher self had to come out and become the woman who could either make this much money and live into this. That, like, it's ridiculous thinking about it. We do not have 25k. We did not buy K, but we put on a credit card. I went. I have never been more scared at an event in my entire life. The whole thing, I felt like fraud through the whole thing. But at the same time, it was like, this is what you do to become the person that you know you're meant to be. So. So that was, that was a huge thing for us. That was a huge leap of faith. That was the moment when money became very real. Like, as in money became this. Like, put your money where your mouth is, and if I put this money down, this means that I have to show up as the person who I need to become who I need to be to make this happen. And that was, that was a huge moment for me.

And I also want to make sure we enroll everybody. Right? Because, yeah, the example was a $25,000 example, which is a good powerful one. And then, you know, with the example of the $600 tickets and the example of prepaying the one year lease by selling all of our furniture on Craigslist. Your question originally that kind of brought some of the stories out was, what can somebody do? And the point of those answers was, well, you can get brave and stick your stake in the ground, but I also want to address people that are like, I don't have $5. The access to self development, access to business knowledge, access to learning has never been easier or a lower barrier of entry than it is right now. Like right now. Kudos to all of you listening to this podcast because it's free to listen to the podcast for the most part, as long as you have Internet and you can get so much value, you can, you can learn everything you need to learn. You can get all the inspiration you need to get. All of the podcast hosts can be your accountability partner, metaphorically speaking, to kick you back in the game when you need it. But you gotta be, got to be intentional. You gotta download it every day, you gotta hit play every day. You gotta do it when you don't feel like it. You gotta build in your schedule and you gotta be consistent about it.

Our goal this year is to listen to multiple podcasts every day. And I love your. What is called the Power 9.

Yeah.

So share, share that with Brian.

Power 9 is three things you're grateful for, three things you're excited about, and three things that you're manifesting for the day. Day for the day.

And we do it out loud to each other, so it's not like we're secretly saying it non negotiable. So we go for our morning walk, which is also non negotiable. And I, I gotta be like, really? Most time we don't feel like doing it. Either we're still groggy or we already had a mini argument or the dog's pissed on the floor. Who knows what? Something has already happened, I guarantee you.

Yeah.

So we don't feel like it most of the time, but one of us will always say, all right, come on, time for the Power 9.

Yeah.

And there's almost anger sometimes as a reaction of the other person, but nonetheless, we do it. And by just, by the end of doing that simple thing. 18 statements, right? Nine for me, nine from Lori.

It's about 10 minutes.

Yeah. Changes everything. It changes our perspective, it changes our mood, it changes our feeling. It's guys doing the right things that'll propel you forward. They're not difficult in terms of executing. They're actually quite simple things to do. Getting yourself to do them is the difficult part. But if you would just take that extra step and do the rather simple things on a consistent basis, you'd be amazed at how it changes everything.

It's so good to hear that there are days, most days, that you don't want to do it because everyone has their shit. Pun intended. Like a dog that takes poop out of a litter box, for example, smears around that or a baby, there's always going to be that. I mean, we all just have so much stuff. But if you have your non negotiable. And a good partnership is where one of you says, we gotta go. So there's always, you know, and if you're on your own right now, you've gotta do it. And we, we can be your people to make sure that you do it. And we can hold you accountable too. But if you, if you do that every day, it could change your life. So I feel like, like we're gonna start doing it. We'll check in with you guys and.

You'Re not gonna feel like it.

We're gonna be.

Yeah, it's fine. Yeah.

Little side note, we were sucking boogers. An eight month old's nose every two hours for the last probably 48 hours. So that is like just. We don't want to do it. Like, how are we going to talk about the power of nine when.

Yeah.

Got a sick child.

Yeah.

Literally, like multitask.

Yeah. I, yeah.

I'm so grateful I get to suck boogers out of this baby because we dreamed of this baby. That's how sometimes our Power 9 starts. I'm like, I'm so glad I got to clean off the couch this morning because I wanted the second dog so badly. And that's sometimes how they start.

It's, it's.

Yeah.

Funny because, you know, you mentioned your second boogers out of your baby, you know, every two hours and it's not fun. It's hard to be. Have gratitude in that moment. Moment. But then you got to remember there's always. I'll just use ourselves as an example. Lori and I are trying to have a baby. It's been a very long journey and we wish we could suck boogers out of a baby right now.

Great. We wanted to talk about this and thank you guys for. Obviously we checked in before we started recording to be able to talk with us and you haven't. Right.

Publicly, period.

No, you guys, this is it. This is living beautifully, but living messy, living sad and living heartbroken, but pulling yourself through. And I'd love to talk to you guys a little bit about, you know, your fertility journey. Laurie, you're talking about. You spend so many years trying not to get pregnant.

You really do.

And I, I.

You know, it's interesting. I. There, there's so much you guys around, getting pregnant, around being even with, with your partner and just all the things, having children. Like, I come from a really religious background and a restrictive religious background, so I think there's a lot on sexuality for women that are a lot. And I think with our fertility journey, I just haven't shared it at all because the whole conversation for me has been like, should it be sacred? Should it be shared? Should it be. There's just a lot, there's a lot of pressure on the whole conversation. And so when Chris and I first started trying to have children, I just, I just immediately, for me, because I spent so much of my life trying not to get pregnant. I like, was like, well, I'm gonna get pregnant right away.

Thought it was gonna be easy.

I just, I, I'm, I'm gonna think about it and I'm gonna be pregnant. And for those of you listening, I'm 42. I don't feel 42. I think I'm 35. I think I'm 30. I don't really know. Age starts to become like, you guys.

Know, stops mentally at a certain age.

Yeah, yeah.

So stopped at 16 for me.

You know, Chris and I, because we went through what we went through financially, I think that we, you know, in me, coming from parents who had, who had gone bankrupt and then also us losing all of our money and all of our things. For me, finances were really big and they were really important. I, I didn't want to have a child come into a household that ever thought about money. I wanted, I wanted money to be a conversation about energy and what was possible. Meaning I don't want that to sound too woo woo, like around. I wanted money to be a positive thing. I wanted it to be looked at as something that was very possible for them and something that was a part of our everyday conversation. And so for us, we spent a lot of time healing our past and focusing on our businesses and making sure that we felt really solid. I didn't want my child to come into a household that felt uncertain about abundance. And so for us, we put a lot of our career first and there could be a lot of anyone who is maybe thinking of putting it on hold or whatever that looks like. You know, for Chris and I, we waited. So we waited a while. And so I think when we, when we found out, after deciding we are after deciding we wanted to try to get pregnant and realizing we couldn't right away because we tried for about three years naturally, and we just did not get pregnant, I was like, how is this possible, you guys? I'm a bit like spiritual as well. I was doing all the things like, oh, this is the night I'm gonna get pregnant. This house gonna be. God told me this sun and the moon and the stars, they're all aligned. This is going to be how it is. And I just really thought that if I thought about it and manifested it and really just I felt like there were some moments I felt it like I really thought I was pregnant and it didn't happen for us. And so there's some disappointment in there. There's some like, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with my body? And I, I tried not to go there as much as possible. And so for you and I, there might have been a little guilt around. It'd be way too long. And you have to cast all those stories inside.

It's interesting because she mentioned she's 42, I'm 45, so there is some of that guilt around. Oh, wait, did we miss our window? Did we screw this up? And it's interesting perspective. I don't think I've said this to you, but I watch you beat yourself up, almost like you're taking the blame for it, when my perspective is it's ridiculous because it could be as much me as it is you. And you know, it's funny, both been a doctor and both of us individually are fine time. So you never know like what's at play or what's at work. I'm just attached to having a family. So that's. That's my only outcome. I'm not attached to what it looks like or. Or how we get there or anything like that. I'm just attached to the outcome being that we have a family. Because I love making memories. I'm like, especially lately, ever since my dad passed away a couple years ago unexpectedly, it's accelerated my try.

Oh, yeah.

To be a memory maker for the family. It's my favorite thing to do now. So I think there's some healthy perspective to not be attached to how, but instead just being attached to one way or another, making it happen. But all that being said, and I believe that when I say that the other day when we found out, oh, there's another round of embryos that aren't healthy enough to move forward, it was the first time I thought, oh, I might not literally be able to carry my DNA on. And that was a really sad day. That was a hard one to die. I just.

We won't ever. We may not ever know what you.

And I could make together. And that's okay.

Yep. But we're also not going to give up trying.

What you make together has nothing to do with your blood. And it has everything to do with your heart.

That's true.

And nothing will make what you went through make you feel better. And what I'm saying to you doesn't make it okay. You can be mad that. But I will tell you, just from our experience, when you grow your family and you meet whoever it is that comes into your family, however they come into this world, when you meet them and it's their birthday or their adoption day, or however you guys end up deciding, it all makes sense.

Yeah.

And you cannot even Imagine it any other way. And when you're in it, it. It sucks. You don't deserve it. It's horrible, and it's dark, and it's. Why is this happening? But I will promise you right now is that years from now, it'll be. It was always supposed to be them. Colette is our daughter. And thank God she's. She's ours. It's.

It was always every day, like, every.

Time we need to. Almost, like, we're almost correct.

We love her so much, you guys. She's our rainbow. She's our angel. And like. And it makes you realize. So when you look at something that you love so much and you know this through any. Anything that you go through and you look at something, you love them more than anything you could ever possibly imagine. All the pain that led you to that moment actually makes sense. And you can make sense of it, which is wild.

But if.

And. And you will get there, however that looks. And there are ways to grow your family, whatever it is, you will. You will look back at this and go, oh, and we. We talk about that too, where we're like, oh, we sacrificed too many years on our career. We waited too long, or we thought we were 35 when we're 40 and, you know, and. And you can always look back, but you have to move forward. And. And we're here for you, and all your feelings are valid, but you guys are going to be the most incredible parents in so many ways. I almost feel like you guys are also parents to us in little ways where you just pick us up. So it's going to be really cool.

Yeah.

And it's gonna. And I can't wait to look back and go, hey, remember that? And then when you look at them in the eyes, you're gonna go, oh, it was always supposed to be you.

I believe that. You know, we opened the podcast with my tattoo here that says the bazillion universe conspires in your favor. And it applies here, you know, an hour or whatever it is later. Universe conspires in your favor. Like, all this is happening for us for some reason. It's part of the plan. And. And we just have to. To execute on it, you know, know.

True. Came full circle. I actually love that I didn't go through any of my questions that I. But we're gonna have to do many part, like a whole series of us sitting down for wine at a dining table and talking things. Brian's still crying.

I literally just love. I love everyone here.

That's All. Everyone listening. We love you. Where can everyone find you guys?

Podcast mostly. Earn your happy podcast and Chris's podcast, the Chris Harder Show.

I do something fun. Every morning. I wake up and I text out a positive money mindset or like an affirmation, because I wake Lori up every morning to an affirmation. I say, babe, I'm happier, healthier, wealthier. What did than I was yesterday. I make her conversate back. I mean, every morning. I've never, ever missed a morning. And if I'm traveling, I text it to her when I wake up and.

I copy, paste it and send it.

Yeah. And then I call her over. Copying and pasting.

That's not okay.

The whole consistent is.

I'm gonna say something real quick. On the way over here, we were preparing questions, and Brian was like, yeah, but we don't have to talk about money. We are so uncomfortable talking about money. But, you guys, money is freedom. Money is a way that you can give, give back. And even this morning, we were trying to figure out how to, you know, ship baby barn clothing over to Turkey through a charity, and that even. That takes money to do it. And so people are so uncomfortable talking about money. And we will do another series and talk to you because I love how comfortable you make people with talking about it and asking about it, because that is something that Brian and I are so, I don't know, resistant to. We've never been able to talk about it. And so. And I hope even today opened everyone's eyes. But definitely tune in to Chris's podcast. I'll put everything in the show notes. It's important. Your success is important for your financial freedom and your family's freedom and your ability to help other people, your family. I love how you guys help everyone around you. You're the most generous people. You work hard so you can give back. And that. And that is a gift for everybody, you know, and it's beautiful. So. Okay. Love you guys.

Love you guys. Thank you.

Thank you guys. Sa.