204: Why GROWTH Doesn't Always FEEL GOOD

Foreign. Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the Earn your happy podcast. And you guys, if you are feeling isolated, if you're feeling like you don't have a tribe of women like minded people to really help you transcend from where you are right now into the person that you know you are being called to be, or maybe you're getting that soul calling and you're not quite answering it yet and it's turning more into a scream and it's starting to make you feel feel even more awful than the thought of facing the fear around doing that actual thing. If you're in any of these positions, you have to join me this year at the Bliss project. It is March 2nd through the 4th in Newport Beach, California and it is going to be a life changing weekend. If you've been wanting to bust through your fears and really meet a like minded tribe of people, this is exactly where you must be be. If you're feeling called to this, I want you to go check it out@theblissproject.info right now. It's also in the show notes and who is this event for? You guys really want to get clear on if you're feeling called to it. I want to make sure that you know what is going to go on there. So if you have always had a desire to do something big, but you've always been afraid to follow through, if you feel like you don't have the tools or the expertise to take the next step, if you wish you had that tribe of supportive people, if you're ready to take that next step into the next level, but you have no idea what that's even supposed to look like, or if you just want to feel more fully alive each day and this is absolutely for you, if you want a deeper connection and understanding in your relationships, if you want to become more fulfilled in your own job that you have right now and in daily tasks if you want to know the true desires of your soul and if you're ready to enjoy the journey just as much as the destination and truly, if you are feeling feeling called to expand your spiritual connection, we're going to be doing some incredible exercises, meditations. We have some awesome teachers who are going to come in and really give you the space to understand what that feels like for you, because for everyone, it's so different. But to be able to do it together makes you feel even more connected than you've ever felt before. So if you're interested in meditation, if you want to create a solid foundation for all of your goals and dreams to be built on, or if you just need a mental reset, a confidence booster and a really. Oh, own your own personal power, you guys, this is the place that you want to be. So there are still some tickets left, but they sell out fast. You guys, in this year will be the best bliss project that we've ever done. We have a really amazing team working on it and we're adding so many more things than we have ever done in prior years because I know that when I get the opportunity to put epic women into a room, I want magical things there so that you guys can truly have the tools to create your own amazing transformation and experiences. And you guys, what happens there is nothing short of miraculous. So if you're ready to create your transformation, if you're ready to step in, if you're ready to have your tribe, this is where you want to be. And I hope that you join us and that I get to meet you and hug you and see you there. So. Theblissproject.in fox welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. And it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. How many of you say that with me? We're all trying now, right, to fit in our inspiration, even on the run. So whether you are driving or whether you're putting your mascara on right now, guys, you too, whatever you're doing. I'm so grateful to be a part of of your day because really, this has been a dream just to be able to share and talk about inspiration with people. Not just inspiration, but action and really sharing what the journey looks like. Right? Because I think that one of the most limiting beliefs that we can have is to think that growth is going to feel really good all the time once you take these big leaps. And that's what I want to talk about today because I recently feel like I've really stepped into a Whole new dimension of my life and career. And I think that I believed that when I got here, it would feel amazing. And while it feels extremely amazing and incredibly awesome, it's also new. And I often feel overwhelmed and scared. And, you know, something that gave me great perspective today, I just got off of a podcast recording, a podcast that will be coming out later in the next couple of months with a woman named Lauren Xander. And she shared something with me after the podcast was over. I should have left it recording, but she was just talking about. Because she was asking me about, you know, my life and just some different things that are up. And I was sharing with her how, you know, I have this beautiful problem of all of my dreams coming true. And I. And I just said, you know, while this is not a problem, I still am. Am finding that I am in a. A bit of a place of anxiety again and struggle. And, you know, I'm hearing myself say these words and understanding that they are a story. And she was like, you know, something that you are not realizing is once you get to that top of where you thought you wanted to be, you also have to remember you're not at the top. You're at the bottom of the top of the place that you wanted to be. It's all new. And the thing that got you to this place is no longer the thing that you are doing all of the time. Now you have a whole new set of things that you're doing that you are new at. And this just gave me so much perspective on allowing myself to be where I'm at, allowing myself to be a beginner, allowing myself to say, okay, all of these feelings are so normal, because again, you're at the bottom of something new. It doesn't matter if you thought this was going to be the best moment of your life or if you thought this was going to be something so big, or if you thought it was going to be easier once you got here, or whatever that looks like. It's like, no, allow yourself to say, okay, I'm a beginner. Like, I'm in a whole new arena. And not only am I in a whole new arena, I am in the nosebleed section. Like, I am literally needing to work my way closer to the stage, right? But right now, I'm so far away, I have to use binoculars because I've never been here. I don't know what it feels like. I don't know what it looks like. I don't know how I should prepare for things. I don't know how long it's going to take me to prepare for things. I don't even know how to structure certain things. I mean, it's like we're completely going into a new position. So look at it this way, you guys. So if you've been. Let's just say we're in corporate America, right, and we're working our way up the ladder. It's like you work and you work and you work and you master everything in the position that you're in. And then all of a sudden, you finally get that promotion that you've wanted and you're thrown in, and it's like you thought this was going to feel amazing and easy and exciting, yet you're in a totally new position and you forgot that in order to feel like a master at last position, you had to feel crazy. Do you remember those first two to three weeks of a new job where you just feel like you're never going to get it? Where you're like, wow, this person's explaining this to me in English, but it sounds like Greek, and I don't speak Greek. Like, when is this going to click? And I'm finally going to see this for what it is. Like, the clarity through the muck, right? So that's exactly what it's like when you are moving to the next level of your life, even in personal growth, even when you're reaching your goals. That's why it's like, we have to enjoy every single moment. And it's like really finding the bliss in each moment and knowing that the journey does not always feel good all the time. And I was on a podcast with Chris, and it's so funny because I had no idea I said this, but he had put up a quote child. And I was like, did I say that? Wow, that sounds really smart. That's really awesome. Come on. You know you've had those moments where you're like, whoa, did I actually say that? I don't remember saying that. That sounds like something someone really smart would say. And I said, one of the most limiting beliefs is the belief that we're supposed to feel good all of the time. And I really believe this is about growth as well and our entire journey. And it's letting go of thinking that everything is going to feel awesome once you get to a place or that you're striving to make every single day feel awesome. Because it's. You guys know I talk about this on this podcast. Like, basically every single quickie is about what the journey actually looks like and embracing the darkness and embracing the hard parts, because we don't actually get to go to the next level until we truly embrace all of it and find the lesson in the tough stuff. Find the lesson in the resistance, you guys, because that is where we get to grow the muscle. If we're not applying chosen resistance to our lives, an outside source is going to try to give it to us so that we grow. And if we don't listen to the message, the resistance is going to get stronger and stronger and stronger until we're in so much pain that we don't know what to do. Until we can start using the resistance, right? And start doing those repetitions to get stronger, moving through the resistance, asking it what it's trying to teach us. Why are you here? What are you offering me? What is this obstacle trying to give me? Oh, I see. See, it's trying to make me learn something new. Oh, I see. It's trying to make me connect with someone new. Oh, I see. It's trying to get me out of this relationship, and it's not gonna stop piling up until I do something about it. So remembering that without those moments, like, if it was always joyous, if life was one big party, one massive, continued amazing weekend in Aspen or California or the Hamptons or wherever you like to go, it would not be worthwhile, you guys. There's no growth there. And growth is what the human spirit craves the most, right? You know, when vacations feel the best is when you've been working so hard. It's the up and the down is the dichotomy of rest and running, right? It's that beautiful ebb and flow that has to happen. Like, we have to, to go through those tough times to really understand who we are and create the experiences that help us become fully us, right? That help you fully experience who you are. And we can't do that just in good times. So allow yourself to be where you're at. Allow yourself to be a beginner again. Like, how rad is that? To be a beginner again and be able to grow in another area, like you are excited, expanding again and life has unlimited levels. I can't imagine reaching a top level and being like, well, this is it. Hope you like it. Hope it's everything you thought it'd be. And maybe it's not, you know, and maybe you want more. Because the human spirit wants to grow. It wants more, but it's also finding the bliss in everything. That's really what it boils down to for me. So while I'm feeling totally lost. While I'm feeling like a beginner again. While I'm feeling like, whoa, this isn't feeling as awesome as I wanted to, wanted it to, going to this next level. It's because I'm resistant against this new, like, allowing myself to be where I'm at, allowing myself to be a beginner, because it's like, wait a minute, I just spent all this time trying to master something, and now here I am at grade one again, right? Just starting over at a new place. And instead of feeling resistant, I'm going to learn to get really grateful and allow myself to say, okay, well, it's the same steps to figure out this new level. So what does it look like to start at square one and learn how to do these things all over again? And another quote, you guys, that's popping out to me right now, and it really doesn't have so much to do with this, but I kind of want to close on it. But it's that you really, you cannot miss out on what is for you. And I had someone say this, Ariel Loren in a podcast of mine, and she had just quoted it, and it just, it's been sticking to me lately. So it's something that I'm pondering as well. So no matter what's coming at you, no matter how busy you feel, no matter what's leaving your life, no matter how much beginner you feel like again, everything that's happening is happening to either create space for you or to take you to the next level. And you're not missing out on anything that is not for you, right? So everything that is for you will find its way to you. So, you guys, I hope that you have the most amazing day, allowing yourself to be where you're at. Just move through, have some grace. See if you can enjoy this exact position that you're at, even if it's somewhere that feels like is not moving right now. But how can you take the first step and enjoy the first steps? Because that's the beginning of a whole new thing. So even if you're in the dark point right now, there's so, so much importance in the darkness, right? There's so much importance in the winter. It's a replenishing. It's like a stillness. It's a stopping, it's a reassessing, it's letting you know something's on the horizon. But right now, you are still cooking whatever that is, and that's okay. So just sit in it. Be okay. Go enjoy the stillness of nothing happening. Because there is something happening in that. And the biggest thing is to just trust and have faith and find the bliss and gratitude and exactly where you're at because you can't get more of what you're not feeling and experiencing. So feel it deeply. Experience it deeply. And just get so grateful for the ups and the downs and watch that shift. Just watch how you can start to learn to shift that beautiful perspective. So you guys, as always, reach out to me. Let me know what you loved about this episode. It means the world when you tag and you share it with your friends. You guys, this podcast is catching so much momentum because of you. I don't do anything. You are doing all of the work. I just show up for you guys and you're literally sharing this with people. And what's helping is that it's helping me get a lot more people onto this podcast. So I have a few people in mind that I really want to get on because I think the wisdom that they could share with you and their stories is going to be life changing. And because you're sharing this podcast so much, it really helps for me to be able to show people what is going on in the podcast to hopefully get them on. So I just wanted to give you my deepest gratitude because it truly is a tribe. And speaking of tribe, you guys, I am pretty much getting close to announcing my new book, A Tribe Called Bliss. And we will be talking a lot more about what it takes to build your tribe and the exact tools to do that. So stay tuned. You're going to want to start gathering your girlfriends, you guys, I'm opening a Facebook page, A Tribe Called Bliss. I'm opening a where I'm going to be doing Facebook lives into that group, all about the book. And you guys are going to get special bonuses for being in that group when you purchase the book. And this is literally going to teach you all of the tools and steps that I use to build my tribe. The questions, the exercises. So you guys are going to be like my special elite group of people who get a lot of different awesome bonuses. And also I'll be in there all the time and bringing some incredible guests in and going to be tapping into this group to help me put on my book tour. So hopefully I'll be visiting a city near you. I think I'm going to go to five or so different cities, but that's only going to happen with the help of you guys and enrolling your community. So if you want to be a part of that, I'm going to put that in the show notes so that you guys can go and join. It is a free group but you are going to be like my inner tribe who is going to help me get this book out. So if that's interesting to you and you want to get those bonuses and you want to get all of these incredible Facebook lives with some different epic humans, I hope that you get enrolled in that page because and when I say enrolled I mean just join. I don't know what I mean. Whatever.

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Because I'm ready, like I am ready to get this message out there of women truly connecting on something that is not. Not necessarily drama or a problem, but connecting at a soul level. And what does it look like to support a woman? How do we do that? How do we really support each other? You guys, this is gonna shift the way that women connect. It's like the number one thing that has completely rocked my world. And I share all of my story in this book, which is crazy because I've never shared it before. So stay tuned and I'll put that in the show notes. And I have to go open that page right now because it doesn't exist yet. And that's how successful people work. We just say it's there, and then we hold ourselves to it by, I don't know, putting it on a podcast or out on Facebook and then. And then realizing that we have to go do the thing that we just said. So I'm gonna go start that page right now so that you guys can get in there by the time this podcast is out. Okay? I love you. All right, have the most amazing day. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment. Tell us what you think. Tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye bye.