212: How to BUILD A TRIBE that Takes You to the Next Level

Foreign. Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. And it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And I'm thrilled to announce that my book is ready for pre order, you guys. It is called A Tribe called Bliss. Break through superficial friendships, create real connections and reach your highest potential. So I've been working on this book for probably I want to say that I've been writing for almost four years and I have to tell you guys a funny story story about it so that you can really know what it looks like when you reach your goals or when you set out to reach your goals. So I started writing this book because I knew that I always had a book in me that I wanted to write, except I didn't really know what it was I was writing more of a self development book. Everyone told me just to get an outline, but I couldn't seem to ever get a clear outline, therefore never getting really clear with my writing. And about three years ago, I hired an editor who was more like a writing coach. So what I would do is I would send a chapter every other week to my writing coach, Jana, and she would send it back a little bit edited or to give me a bit of guidance, like, hey, I did not understand what you were trying to say here. I didn't really get how this story fit. Here's what you need to look for. So she would kind of help guide me to be a better writer. She wouldn't just send me back edits. It would be like, hey, what about this? Or expand on this or exactly what are you talking about when you say this? So this was the process that I really learned when I was writing. And you guys, there's a couple way to write books. You can either actually physically write it and type it out yourself and you know, send to an editor, have them clean it up, or you can have a ghostwriter you can speak it to a ghostwriter. And I chose to write because it physically comes through my body to my fingertips. I have more trouble actually verbally expressing the exact idea, which is really weird because I'm a podcaster and it seems that I'd be able to express the idea. But I go and I go a few layers deeper when I actually write and sit with it. So I chose that route to type it all out and work with a writing coach that says, hey, you can do better. Let's go back to the drawing table. Let's dig a little bit deeper. So what happened is by the time I finally decided that I needed a literary agent who goes and helps shop the book to different editors, I had printed this book out right around the time that after I was turned down by 21 publishers, you guys, it was the 22nd who finally said yes. And it was actually the exact publisher that I wanted the entire time. So let me tell you, sit in your meditations. Stay in the energy of manifestation. Stay in the energy of staying up with this book, of staying up with the creation. Don't let yourself continue to doubt or second guess because that energy is not going to attract what you want. And I can tell you that there were a few bumps in the road along the way, but I'll get there in a minute. So I finally get this book deal after being turned down by 21 different publishers, being told that they didn't like the story. It wasn't enough. It's already out there. It's not original that I'm not original. All of these different crazy things that did not feel awesome at all to see in emails. And so I finally get this book deal and I was thinking of this number that I wanted for the book deal and everybody was telling me, I never get this number. You're never gonna get that number, especially as a first time author. And I just kept on going back to faith in Prayer. And I said, you know what? I'm gonna make this book or I'm gonna make this proposal, which is what you do to write a book. I'm gonna make this proposal so good that it's undeniable and it's gonna, it's gonna help fill such a need that it's going to be undeniable. They're not going to want to pass it up. So I end up getting this book deal for the exact number that I wanted. You guys, I did not tell them the number. This was the first offer that I came, that came back to me and I had Sat so long in visualization. Sat so long in faith Every single day. When I say so long, I just mean I was committed to the practice almost daily of visualizing exactly what I wanted and then getting into the energy and feeling exactly how I wanted to feel and picturing this email coming back and telling me what the offer was. And when I got it, I had gotten in my truck after an appointment and I opened up the email and I just started bawling because it was just such a sign that when we. It was just such confirmation that when we continue to choose faith, it's going to show up in a completely different way than we expect. Right? So the publisher says, okay, so how long do you need to write this book now that you have this book deal? And I'm like, eh, you know what? I think I only need three months because I basically have the book book written. And they're like, really? Only three months? And I said, yeah, just three months. And they're like, how about we give you like five or six? I said, okay, but you know, I'm like gonna surprise you and finish early. So I print the book out that I have. I read the book and it wasn't totally complete. I knew I had some work to do on it. I knew I had to go back to it. I read the book and I start crying because I hate it. I feel like the information in there is so in the past. Like I feel like I've grown so much. It feels like so incredibly basic. I feel like it's just crap that I can't release to the world. So I throw it in the garbage and I'm like, oh crap. I have to start this book from like square one. So at this time in my life, I was so incredibly busy and Chris and I had planned to go away. We needed a vacation, we needed a recharge. And I'm like, everything in my body was like, do not go away. It's not time to recharge. You need to just work, work, work, work, work. And so I went away and I was like, you know what? Complete surrender. We ended up going to Cabo, Mexico. And I decided to just surrender and not even think about it and just recharge and play and relax. And what happened was in that time of complete recharging and clearing, I created a space. So within that space, it's so funny because on the plane ride home I'm like, you know what, I feel really good. Like I'm gonna dive back into some self development books. Like I'm gonna Start reading a bit. So I get on the plane, I actually order a cocktail. I'm like totally relaxed. I'm completely chilling. And all of a sudden, like a lightning bolt, this title comes. A Tribe Called Bliss. Like, it just, it literally appears in letters in my mind. And I grab my husband and I freak him out because I'm gasping, I'm like, I've got it. He's like, holy shit, Lori. What? Pretty much made him spill his drink? And I'm like, this is not just a book. Like, this is a self development book. This is going to be a completely new way that women are going to connect. This is going to be a book that they do together. This is going to be a masterminding book. This is going to be a complete new way of being, of connecting, of creating tribe. You guys, I was. I was overwhelmed with this feeling that this was going to change people's lives. Because the way that I had been living, doing masterminds with these women, connecting with these women every other week for the past three years through this whole process. And my life was just accelerated, you guys. I was, I was creating things and getting things in my life that I had wanted for so long in such an easier way. Because the way that I had been showing up to these groups of women, to these groups of people, to these masterminds, and creating all of these tribes and creating all of this support around me, and I was like, this book is this, this book is the thing that's actually changed my life. I'm gonna write this. It's a huge risk because literally I'm asking people to do this book with three to four other people. It's a big ask. I got really nervous in my whole soul, God, everything, the universe, everything was like, do this, commit to this. Burn the boats, go all in. This is what you're doing. This is meant to connect women. This is meant to create tribes. This is meant to create lasting connections. This is meant to work through all of the blocks that are blocking us from all of the magic and abundance in our lives. And that's how this book truly came into the world, is because I know that I am meant to connect and facilitate groups of women to go and have much deeper connections that support us in every level of our life, that cheer us on, that pull us up, that give us the energy that we need so that our comeback rate can be faster and so that we can become the highest versions of ourself together. Because I do not believe that we are meant to do this alone. In fact, In Sean Acor's new book called Big Potential, all about how it's not about survival of the fittest, he says, but it's survival of the best fit. You guys. So it's not the individual genius or consciousness, it's the collective consciousness that we are tapping into, right? It's not the part, but it's the sum of the whole parts together. So Aristotle talks about that how truly alone we can't even tap into our highest potential. It's together. It's what happens in groups of two or more. Right? Two or more. You're going to really open up a space in yourself that you have never opened up before. And this is accelerated growth, this is accelerated happiness. And truly your happiness and success is not just determined by you. It's how connected and collaborative you feel in your life. It's the groups that we are in. So if you guys are not feeling supported, if you feel like you cannot find a like minded tribe or if you already have one, but you want to take it to the next level and create even more tribes in your life, this book is going to change your life. So you guys, I also have in here there's three sections. It's the new way of being. It's the new way of building community, being and belonging. And when I say belonging, I mean belonging to yourself. Because I don't want you to show up to these groups as a different person. I don't want you to create these groups as a different person or someone you think you need to be. It's about becoming as fully you as possible to completely magnetize your life and, and be like a magnet for the people that you want in your life. So I'm going to teach you exactly how to build these communities. I'm going to give you the scripts, I'm going to help you with the invites, I'm going to help you with the languaging while you're facilitating these different connections. You guys, this is going to be in every other week thing or just once a month thing for you. And talk all about the timing. You're only going to be doing this for an hour every other week. You're going through the book on your own and then you're connecting with your tribe every other week for an hour or even once a month. And so I teach so much about how to make sure that everybody is more than respected and that boundaries are respected and exactly how to end and start the meeting exactly on time. And what happens if you go over and how you're going to Lose your tribe if you do certain things. So this is all about respecting each other, having equal time, equal share and equal energy exchange. Because let me tell you, if a tribe is going to fall apart, it's going to fall apart because someone does not realize they're not respecting a boundary or someone is not showing up or someone has their own issues that they're letting get in the way. So you're also going to be working through all of your different blocks that used to block you from these relationships and used to block you from your abundance together, you guys are going to grow and go to the next level together. So I have seven sacred agreements in this book, you guys. So seven sacred agreements in this book. And I wrote these sacred agreements basically off of and I talk about this in the book off of the four agreements because the four agreements completely change lives. It completely changed my life. So the seven agreements I took and made them more for women relationships and also for all of the different things that we face in our lives. So agreement number one is always be your own guru. Agreement two is release expectations. Agreement three is no gossip. Agreement four is don't take it personal. Agreement five is fierce boundaries. Agreement six is be authentic. And agreement seven is F yourself and everyone else. So obviously the F stands for forgiveness. And you guys, the reason that we have these is because it's going to move you through wherever your tribe could fall apart and wherever you could fall apart, it's going to move you to your highest potential. I go so deep into each of agreements and what happens if you've done them? What happens if you've been somebody who's been a part of it? What happens if you're taking it personal? What happens if you don't have boundaries, how to set boundaries? What happens on the other side of setting boundaries? What happens on the other side of moving through past relationships or letting relationships go or what that all looks like. So I share all of my personal stories and so many stories that I've never shared with you guys. And I know that it was time to release all of these stories in this book. So I'm not gonna lie when I say I'm a little bit nervous for people to read them. But I'm more excited because I'm so committed to growth and transformation that I know that my transparency is going to help people transform. Because it wasn't until I became completely transparent with myself that I was able to shine that flood light on what needed to happen in my life so that I could grow.

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So you guys, I hope that you go and purchase a copy not only for yourself but for two other people in your tribe or send them the link their copy and let them know that on May 8th you want to start this book with them because that is when we will all be going through this book together. So if you want to do it not only with your tribe but collectively, I can only imagine the energy that is going to be pulsing through the universe when we do this all together. So you guys, there's so much about women rising right now. There's so much about the feminine rising right now. And I want to make sure that we rise over something that is deeper than just drama. I want to make sure that we rise soul to soul, belly to belly, locked arms, shoulder to shoulder that we're in the arena together, understanding how to support each other. Because I think that's really where the gap is. It's like, oh yeah, we want to support women but we don't even know how to support ourselves yet, let alone support a tribe. So this is going to move you through exactly what this journey is going to look like. And I even talk about the ugly side of creating tribe like it's is hard. You're going to have days that you do not want to show up. You guys, I have so many days like that, but I never regret it. I never regret it. I tap into parts of me that I could never access alone. That moves me to higher levels. You guys, I have one of the biggest events of my life coming up. Two in a row, in fact. The biggest of my life. And if I did not have my tribe, if I was not constantly tapping into them each day saying SOS help me, I'm freaking out, you guys. Please reconnect me to my why. Please remind me why I'm doing this. Please let me know you're going to be on the other side or sending me energy and love and cheering me on. And I know that they are there. I feel all of their hands on my back. I hear all of their collective voices. I feel all of my earth angels. I feel all of my angels. I feel God, the universe, everything supporting this mission because of my community and the people reminding me. So if you want this, I highly, highly, highly pray that you go grab this book as soon as you can. Because I believe in it that much. Yes, I believe in it that much. My whole heart, my whole soul, my entire mission is in this book. So you guys, I'm sending you so much love today and make sure that if you purchase it, you send me a screenshot of it and tag your other three tribe members that you want in with the this book And I will not only be shouting you out, but I'm also in the next couple weeks going to be choosing a few people who send me screenshots to give an advanced free copy away. So let's just say within the next two weeks from this podcast, what I want you to do is take a screenshot of your pre order, tag your other three friends that you want to share this book with and share this this experience with. Let them know that you want to share this experience. I will screenshot you and either re screenshot you or I will shout you out and let you know the two winners over the next two weeks. So I'll pick one next week and then the week after that from this podcast. So screenshot share with your community. I will pick someone for an advanced advanced copy. You guys, this is not going to be out until May 8, so I will give you an advanced copy. It's not even edit completely edited yet. It's actually an advanced uncorrected proof. Proof that you can't even share with your tribe yet. You can read it for yourself, you can upload the picture once you get it, but you cannot share it with your tribe because I did put in a few more stories in the new one and I did take out a couple things from this book so you'll get to see some other things that maybe are not going to be put in the public eye and you get to read those in advance. So again I'm just going to go over it one more time for all you guys that want to do it it. So go pre order your book@lori harder.com Amazon Take a screenshot that you pre ordered the book and then tag your other free three friends that you want to do this book with. Let them know that they need to get their copy or that you got a copy for them and then I will go and screenshot that and either reshout you guys out because I want to show who's doing it and I want to shout you out on my page. And then I will also pick one person and I will announce on my insta stories if you won, I'll pick one this week and I will pick one next week. So you guys, I just want to send my deepest gratitude for all of your love and all of your support. This means the world. I could not do this without you. You guys are the only ones who are going to get this book out. Like, I cannot do this alone. So it takes a tribe to build a tribe. It takes a tribe to build a tribe. And you are my tribe and this is a big ask and I know it's going to change your life. So thank you guys so much. I'm in deepest gratitude today. Please send me some love and some energy while I go speak on these two different stages and while I go run my event and I will pour your love into all of the women who show up at the Bliss project and all of the women who show up at this growth conference and all of the men too. Because this is not just about women rising. It's the feminine, right? So the feminine which men have masculine and feminine, we have masculine and feminine. We need the feminine to rise. So we don't want to leave the men behind. We want to take it all with us. So I'll send all of that love and energy and thank you guys so much. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, it that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happiness. Happy. Thanks again guys. Bye Bye.