215: Take Your Relationships to the Next Level with Melissa Ambrosini

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Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the Earn your happy podcast. And you guys, I'm so excited to have Melissa Ambrosini back on the podcast. She came on the podcast last year talking about her amazing book mastering your mean girl and so many of you reached out about talking about how much you loved it. So she is back. She has written another book called Open Wide which is a radically real guide to deep love, rockin relationships and soulful sex. And we talk all about her new book, what what she's going through right now. What made her write this book, what relationships spurred her to write this book in her life. And she is also a best selling author, you guys. She also has the Melissa Ambrosini show which is a podcast and a she's a motivational speaker, an entrepreneur and a self love teacher. She was named a self help guru by Elle magazine and her message is all about love, being sexy, healthy and liberating and that wealth is not a dirty word. She has inspired women across the globe to activate their dreams and live life on their own terms. So I can't wait for you to listen in on this conversation and let's get started. Melissa, I'm so excited to have you back on the show again. Thank you so much for coming on.

Thank you for having me, beautiful lady. I love your podcast and I'm so excited to be here.

I'm so excited to have you back on because I have been loving following all of the updates from your tour and with your husband and everything that you have going on in your life. And since our last podcast, you guys, I'm gonna link up her last podcast to this interview. So if you want to hear everything prior about Melissa's life and leading up to her last book, I'm gonna have that in the show Notes. So from the last interview, Melissa, what have you been up to? So from your last that we had you on about mastering Your mean girl. And we just talked all about life and what you're all about. But what has been going on since then for you?

So much, so much. Well, I wrote another book which is out now and that's called Open A Radically Real Guide to Deep Love, Rocking Relationships and Soulful Sex. And it is kind of like a progression from mastering your main goal. Like mastering your main goal is very much about. Your main goal is that inner critic. You know, you can call it your inner critic, your ego, your shadow self, whatever you want to call it. So the first book is really about mastering that voice inside your head that's holding you back from doing the things that you really want to do in your life. And then once we have this really beautiful relationship with ourselves and have gotten to that place where we have mastered our main goal, and by all means, it's a daily practice and a daily task, we can really start to look at the relationships around us. So relationships with everyone. Not just our romantic relationships, but our relationships with our family, friends, boss, everyone. Because our relationships are our biggest spiritual assignments and they are the biggest game that we play. And we are in relationship to all things at all times. You know, we're in relationship to Mother Nature, but we're also in relationship to everyone that we come into contact with. Yet we are born into this world without a manual on how to navigate relationships. So the way that we learn is through watching our parents. And sometimes that is a great model and other times not so great. So a lot of our relationships beliefs are borrowed or inherited from our parents. And if you're anything like me, that was. My parents are still together, but the way that they have managed their relationship is definitely there's things that I would want to tweak and do differently. That's why I wrote this book. It's a guide on how to have beautiful, deep, fulfilling, authentic relationships. It's for anyone who wants to experience deep love. Like, deep like I'm. I'm talking deep love. Like I want to really get to know you. I want to really get to your heart. I want to know who you are. So I'm not here for surface level interactions. I want to sit with you. I want to dive deep. I want to know how you are, what your soul is craving. So for anyone who wants deep love, this book is for you. If anyone wants rocking relationships. And you know, for me that means really epic and fun. Yes, deep, but also fun and inspiring relationships. And then to experience soulful relationships and soulful sex with your beloved. So anyone who wants Any of those things, this book is for you.

Mm. Well, I think that's, you know, every human's deepest desires all named right there. So for you, how was that showing up for you? Was there a time did this book come from or just these thoughts, you know, because it's kind of like your life's work all in one spot. Every time you write a book, did this come from a desire, from not having it, a certain point in your life from not having any of these things?

Absolutely. It definitely came from not having deep love, not having rocking relationships, and definitely not having soulful sex. For me, all of my relationships up until I really started to dive into this work were very surface levels, very much about comparisonitis and not deep, very surface level. But that's not what we're here for. We're really here to go deep, to really serve each other and inspire each other and help each other. That's what we're here for. So then it kind of really hit me, like, I knew I had to write a book when I met my husband. I knew I had to write this book when I met him. So before I met him, I didn't know that soulmates existed. I didn't believe that you could have a deep, heart opening, expansive relationship with another human being. I didn't know that soulful sex existed before that. I was just experiencing what I call junk food sex. You know, quick, quick and easy. I didn't know that sex could be a godly experience. You know, I didn't know that. I just thought it was like mutual masturbation, really. But for me, it's not. It is an experience with God. It's an experience with God. Love, oneness, whatever you want to call it. And same with my relationship with my husband. It is beyond my wildest dreams. We, like, meeting him was like staring into my soul. He is my one, he is my lover, my soulmate, whatever you want to call it. I didn't believe in any of that before I met him. And when we kind of got together, I thought, this is what it's meant to be like. And that doesn't mean it's all rainbows and butterflies and unicorns. Absolutely not. But when you meet your equal, and you'll know this too, Lori. Like you and Chris, you guys are soulmates. When you meet your soulmate, there is nowhere to hide. You reflect back to each other. Everything that you might be denying within yourself or you're not looking at you are each other's best, biggest mirrors. And you know, that also means that you may trigger each other and that's okay, but it's how you move through that. Because where there is discomfort, there is always growth on the other side. And this is why I had to write this book, because I thought, oh my gosh, if I didn't know this was possible, how many other people out there did know this is possible? And I wanted to share it. Like the love and the unity that I have with my husband is beyond anything I've ever experienced before in my life. And the soulful, deep connection and the soulful, deep lovemaking, it's my. It's mind blowing. And everyone deserves this and everyone can have this. We just have to be willing and open, open wide to that idea, to that possibility. But so many of us are very closed off or we don't want to open our heart, don't want to be authentic, don't want to go deep because we're scared of being hurt. But that's kind of playing it safe. That's where we don't grow. And we really want to grow and expand to our full potential. And the way that we do that is by unlocking our heart and being vulnerable and being authentic and being truthful and being deep and being open and wide.

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I love that. So what happens when one party is completely open and the other one isn't really even aware of this yet, but you feel a pull to maybe share this with your partner?

I hear this a lot and it can feel sometimes like when you are kind of jumping on the train and you're feeling all of these amazing feelings within yourself and you're getting inspired and excited, you can really want that other person to jump on the same train as you. And whether this is with, you know, personal development or business or health or spirituality, whatever it is, you can feel like you want them to jump on board. I've tried. You know, you've got to jump on board with meditation. You've got to jump on board with health or you. You know, I really want to really deepen our relationship and, you know, try these new things. And I really want you to jump on board. But what that does is, I mean, if you look at children, anytime they're told to do something, guess what they want to do, they want to do the opposite. So whenever you're told to do something, your almost immediate reaction psychologically is to rebel. So the best way that we can inspire someone else in all areas of our life is by simply being the example. Simply being the example and sharing from your heart. So, of course, like, sit down with them and practice what I call in the book, crystal clear communication and share that you would, you know, you would love to start deepening your relationship and you'd love to start being more vulnerable and expressive with each other and going deep. And I'd love to explore, explore, explore some tantra or daoism or whatever it is. And then if it's your friends, just saying to them, I'd really love to deepen our relationship, I'd really love to take our relationship to the next level and just opening that dialogue. So that's the way that we can inspire our partner or even our friends, because trying to drag them to jump on the train with you may not work. You know, I had, at the start of this year, I sat down a couple of my friends and my mom and my dad and my brother, and I wrote them this beautiful message and I just said how much I love and appreciate them and how much they mean to me and how much this year I would love to deepen my connection with them. And I just wrote this beautiful message just saying all of that, saying how much I want to deepen my connection. I love them and I want to go deeper. And, you know, I was a little bit like, oh, no, how's my mom and my dad and my brother going to receive this? Like, how are they going to receive it? And my mom was like, oh, my goodness. Thank you so much for saying that. That means the world to me. I would love to go deeper with you too, darling. And even my dad, like, my dad, he said the same thing. He's like, oh, that. That melted my heart. You know, my dad doesn't talk like that. And, you know, and he just said, I would love, I would love that so much. Let's do it. Let's work on it. Because I explained, you know, and I talk about this in the book, relationships require love, energy and attention. And it's the grass, isn't Greener. On the other side, the grass is greener where you water it. And just like a plant or the grass, the more you water it and tend to it and give it the right amount of sunlight and tend to the soil, the more that plant is going to flourish and thrive. And that's the same with our relationships. You can't just turn a blind eye or block them out or go, that person's toxic. I'm going to cut them out of my life. No, if we really want to grow and evolve as our own being, then we have to give that relationship, like the plant love and nourishment and tend to it. That's when it's going to flourish. And I've really, you know, for me, I cut my parents out of my life for many years. When I first started on this spiritual journey, I kind of cut them out of my life. I was like, they're toxic. They're not on the same path as me. How, like, how funny is that? I just think, oh, my gosh, I can't believe I did that because I missed out on those years and I'll never get them back. But cutting people out is not the way to your evolution or to the relationship's evolution. So for me, you know, looking at the relationships that may trigger you is the best way to grow like that. They're the. That's the work. That's the university life university right there. And tending to my relationship with my parents and my friends and my siblings, that is where I have been rewarded so much. It's very easy to hang out with our soul sisters because we're on the same page and we get each other and we can talk about our moon cycle and entrepreneurship and all of these amazing things that we're doing. But the quote unquote, more challenging relationships, that's where we grow.

So have you ever had those moments where you have asked for the permission to kind of go deeper? You have these, what feels like an amazing connection. You really share a lot of your soul. And yet perhaps you're aware that maybe it was not as well received or something, you know, gives you that sign that later it was not well received because there's truth telling, right? There's honest truth telling and really asking for that space. And sometimes it's easy for the other party to say, yes, I'm bought in. This sounds so great, but when it actually happens, it can kind of, you know, create. It can create some serious feelings. So what are some things? Because I've definitely had circles and spaces that have Happened like this. What are some things that you can tell people afterward to be ready for? You know that feeling of like the vulnerability hangover feeling or the feeling of it not being as well received and knowing that, yeah, there you risk rejection when you are honest and open.

The vulnerability hangover thing is, is something I feel often because I just toured around Australia with my book. Nick and I created a show together called Open Wide because he is a musician and he wrote a song called Open Wide and I wrote a book called Open Wide. And we decided to create this beautiful show where we mixed music, meditation and motivation together. And it was so awesome. It was like a Coldplay concert mixed in with Tony Robbins. Oh my God, I love it. Yeah, it was so much fun. And you know, I shared this on Instagram the other day. Like almost every show I would walk off stage, be buckled over with feelings in my stomach of like wanting to puke because I had shared too much. I had shared. I was like, oh my gosh, did I actually tell that story? Did I actually share that? Oh my gosh. And I know it's all my ego because vulnerability makes us lean in. Vulnerability connects us. So, you know, I have gotten used to the vulnerability hangover feeling. Like I'm like, ah, there it is again. And like I almost joke about it with my husband and my girlfriends. Like my girlfriends who are in this space, you know, in the personal development world and amazing heart centered entrepreneurs. You know, I'll send them a message after and I'm like, they'll say, how did the show go? And I'm like, massive vulnerability hangover. And they're like, ah, how funny. Like we just kind of laugh it off now, but, but it's an uncomfortable feeling in your gut sometimes. And if you have opened yourself up and really been authentic and vulnerable and spoken your truth and it's not received in a desired way, then. And we have to just accept that and let it go because we can't hold our truth back out of fear of what other people may say. All we can really do is speak our truth, speak openly, honestly and authentically, and be real in every moment because that's our truth. And no one can say that that's not your truth if it is your truth. So I think showing up, being vulnerable and then letting it go is letting go of how you want it to be received. And just speaking your truth is really important. And you know, I also, when I was sending, you know, these beautiful, heartfelt messages to my mom and dad and my brother, I also sent it To a couple of friends that I also really wanted to deepen my relationship with, because one of my. You know how most people have, like, a word for the year? I have three words, and my three words are deep soulful connection, and that is deep, soulful connection with myself and with others. And so then that's my little. That's not my one word. That. That's my three words for the year. And I read that every morning. You know, I've got it written up in my room so that I can see it. That's. That's my word for this year. That's what I'm really craving and desiring within myself and within my relationship. So I also sent the same sort of message to a couple of my friends. Like, there was two girls that are in my life that are kind of like, I love them and I adore them so much, but they're kind of on the sideline. And we live in different states, which may, you know, maybe why we haven't been able to really connect. We haven't been in physical, like, in the physical same space. So I sent one of them this beautiful, long message. How much I love all of our times we've shared together. And again, just saying how much I am grateful for her and how I love her and her partner and when we traveled to Greece together and we did this and things like that. And I really want to go deeper and I want to support you. Like, I want to be your. I want to be here for you. I want to be a sounding board for you. So please reach out to me and, you know, know that I'm always here to support you and anything that you need help with, I'm here. And she kind of wrote back, oh, that. That's so beautiful. And thank you so much, Mel. And I'm so grateful. And then crickets. And I know in that moment, I could have taken it really personally. And she doesn't like me, and my mean girl could have gone crazy. But I know that it's where she's at in her journey and where she's at in her life. And I've showed up and she knows I'm here. I have waved the flag. I'm here for you. I'm here to help you and support you however I can, whether it's in business or whether it's personally, I'm here for you. And she is just not at that space where she is really ready to crack open her heart and let someone in. And that's okay, because the time may come, you know, it might be in a month or it might be in a year. It doesn't matter. But I have spoken my truth, and my truth in that moment was to say those words to her, and that's all I can do, you know, and. And I can't get upset or attached to the outcome. And I actually feel so neutral about it. And I. I feel good in my heart knowing that she knows that I am here for her whenever she's ready.

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I love that you shared that. I actually, I'm. I'm obsessed with this topic right now because that's exactly what my book is about, is just Creating Tribe. And I. I kind of go through all these different scenarios, and you're reminding me of a scenario with me right now, actually, where it's just like. Like I have all of these amazing women constantly reaching out, but sometimes I. I drag my past into the present of, oh, my God, if I even engage in these certain conversations and go really deep, they might expect all of this time from me. And I can't spread myself this thin with what's going on with family right now. So it's kind of like I'm like, that's not what they're expecting. How about I rewind and stop projecting some of the past or even talk about what my fears are? You know, say, hey, I'd love to engage in this way. These are some things that are coming up for me, or whatnot it's like these open conversations, right?

Oh yeah, that's it. That is it. And it's really great that you're aware of that, honey, that you can, that you could catch that and that you could see that you were dragging some old baggage into the present. Because we, we women, we tend to make up stories in our head. We make up stories in our head, everything is a story. And we have a story around our health, we have a story around our money. You know, one of our great friends, Peter Kelly, always talks about the money story. But everything we tell ourselves is a story, a story around relationships, our parents, our friends, health, everything, money. And so that is an old story that you're bringing into the present moment, which is blocking you, or as Peter says, cock blocking you. It is. And because you know that could block you from a beautiful experience with a new female that you just don't know where it could even go.

Absolutely. So do you have anything in your life right now? And I know that you were just talking about kind of how you, you create completion around something when it's incomplete. So is there something in a relationship or in your life that is feeling like it's really needing some personal completion right now?

I am definitely the person that can't leave things. Like if I have had a disagreement with someone or something feels icky, I have to resolve it. I have to resolve it because it kind of like eats away at me. It eats away at my soul and takes up space in my life. And that space could be used for creativity or something else or to give to someone else. So I am definitely the person who is. If something is, if something is unresolved, I really want to resolve it. So I'll pick up the phone or I'll meet up with that person and I'll do my best to resolve it. In terms of completion, I can't think of anything that need any relationships that need completion. But, but currently for me right now, a relationship I'm working on is my relationship with my stepson. So I have a 12 year old stepson and we have him 50% of the time. So we have him one week on and one week off. And right now in my life, it is bringing up a lot of stuff and I have a lot of old stinky stories that have come to the surface and I've got to rewrite those stories. So that's what I'm working on at the moment. And that's what a relationship that I'd love to give some more love and attention and time and the only way I'm going to do that is by creating space and actually showing up and doing it. So, you know, if there are any relationships in your life at the moment that are icky or unresolved, you know, I highly recommend doing your best to complete them. You know, resolve them, because it's only going to eat away at your soul.

Do you have any favorite relationship lessons? Maybe one good one, one bad one that you can share with us? Just something that just felt like unresolvable but ended up bringing such incredible perspective into your life.

That's a really good. I can't think of anything off the top of my head unresolvable. I think one of a lesson, okay. A lesson that I am constantly reminded of is to practice. And I talk about this in the book to practice crystal clear communication. Now, whenever there is a relationship break, sorry, a breakdown in a relationship, whether it's with my husband or my stepson or my mom or a friend or someone on my team, whenever there is a breakdown, someone has failed to practice crystal clear communication. And that's okay. It's not about blaming the other person. Well, you didn't practice crystal clear commitment. No, it's. No, no, no, no, no. It's not about that. It's about awareness. Because awareness is key to transformation on all levels. So any sort of inner transformation we want to have, we have to be aware of what is unfolding first. So awareness, like, if my husband and I are like, like getting angry at each other, one of us will see and go, okay, right. We're not practicing crystal clear communication here. And sometimes it's me and sometimes it's him. And I might say to him, honey, we clearly can't practice crystal clear communication right now. So I'm going to go for a walk and when you're ready, let's come back together. And he says it to me too, like he'll be like, babes right now. This is not. We're not practicing ccc. You know, we need to take five. And he said he'll say to me, you know, come to me when you're ready to speak clearly, crystally from your heart. Because crystal clear communication is speaking from your heart, not your head. So from your heart. From your heart is hey, baby, I feel sad because X, Y and Z or whatever it is speaking from your head is, you did this to me. And I feel like this because of you. Blame point judge. So we gotta practice the crystal clear communication. That is probably one of the best relationship tools to have in your toolkit because whenever there's a relationship breakdown, someone has failed to practice crystal clear communication. It's that simple.

Yeah. And I love that you say you kind of give that buffer because that has literally changed my relationship with my husband. Like years ago. We just kind of, I don't know, somehow our souls kind of figured it out. Like, this is not gonna go well if we talk right now. So let's just come back in a little bit. Like, just hold on. Like, let the feelings pass. Because otherwise those feelings just, they, they have their own language and it's not pretty and it's not you. It's almost like something totally possesses your body. It's like the fight, I don't remember what movie it was from, but it's like the fight is having you and you're just like, you're having an out of body experience watching how ugly this like train wreck is.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Definitely been there. So for you, when you're on tour with your husband, and this is, this is just reminding me if I was ever on tour with my husband, which he's actually going to come on my book tour with me. But I can only imagine that while you're doing all of this transformational work for people about relationships and crystal clear communication, that you guys have probably had moments of frustration together or maybe where you felt frustrated on the road or tired or overwhelmed. Did you have that with this tour at all? Or was this a pretty good. Did you guys feel like you had worked out all the bugs beforehand?

Oh, I mean, we shared on stage very openly and honestly about our relationship. And people would come up to us at the end because we did like a meet and greet at the end when we signed books and we got photos and it was really beautiful to connect with everyone. And this one girl came up to us at the end and she was bawling her eyes out. And she and I, and I asked everyone the same question. I said, what did you get out of the show? I want to like, what did you get out of the show? What resonated for you? And she said, this might sound really weird, but what I'm taking away from tonight is that you two aren't perfect. And Nick and I laughed. We laughed and we were like, of course we're not perfect, because perfect and perfection do not exist. And if that is what you're striving for, if you're striving for a perfect relationship with rainbows and butterflies and unicorns, you are going to be very disappointed because that doesn't exist. And I said to her, sweetie, cut out that word perfect and perfection from your vocabulary. Cut it out, because it doesn't exist. I think it's Michelangelo when he is, like, sculpting and doing all of his beautiful work. At the end of it, he would always put, like, a scratch in his sculptures because he's like, I don't want it to be perfect, and I don't want anyone to think that Nick and I have a quote, unquote, perfect relationship. Whatever that even is. Whatever that even is, I don't even know what it is. So we're very real and open and honest and vulnerable about our stuff. And. And during the tour, we didn't have anything come up. I'm just trying to reflect back.

But.

We stayed really beautifully connected. It was actually really gorgeous. And every time we went on stage, we did a beautiful meditation together where we stood and we put both, like, I had my hand on his heart, and he had his hand on my heart, and the other hand was. Was, like, just on their waist. And we did, like, some breaths together. We took a couple of deep breaths, and we said a prayer, and we made sure that we were connected into our own hearts and then connected to each other's heart, because that's where we wanted to speak from. But as we talk about, we talked about in the show that in every relationship, there's always support and challenge, and in every situation, there's always support and challenge. So in a very, quote, unquote challenging situation that you might have, we've got to look for the support. It's always there. We just have to look for it. You know, for example, Nick was talking about on the tour, he went through a really challenging year. Last year, he went through a really challenging time. He was going through what we call the spiritual washing machine. He was getting upgraded. His operating system was getting an upgrade last year, and it was hard for him, but he had support. He had me. He had Leo. He had so much support around him. So even though there are challenging times, there is always support as well, because that's how the universe works. Support and challenge. Yin and yang, Shiva and Shakti. Masculine, feminine. You know, hot and cold, up and down. Those polarities exist in our relationships and also in nature.

So for you guys, do you. Especially around relationships, are there certain things? Like when. When you really are feeling like you need a boundary around something, whether it's with your family, with your friends, with your partner. How do you discuss boundaries? Because so many of us, especially women, we really are fearful of saying no. And saying what we need and the guilt and the shame that goes with saying no or thinking that we're being selfish around. When you know your soul is calling for boundaries, what's something that you can, can do, say, feel into, so that we can release those feelings on the other side.

I talk a lot about healthy boundaries in the book because they are very important in all of your relationships, not just your romantic relationship. In every relationship, we have to assert these healthy boundaries. And the way that we do it, we can either verbally say it or we just take action. You know, we just take action. So that's what I do sometimes, you know, I'll say that, you know, that's not okay for me. You know, I'm not okay with that, whether it's to Nick or someone else. So you can either verbalize your boundary, and I get you to get really clear on your boundaries in the book. So there's a whole chapter about really understanding yourself. It's called Dive into youo Ocean. And it's really about getting crystal clear on your values, your beliefs, your interests and your desires and your healthy boundaries. And we go through every area of your life. So what are your health boundaries? What are your relationship boundaries? What are your work boundaries? What are your. You know, we go through every single area of your life. And so when you're clear on your boundaries and you've written them down, you are then able to crystal clearly communicate them to those around you. So the first step is getting really clear on what they are and then either communicating them or just living them. So, for example, I have boundaries around my phone. My phone, for example, I have to set boundaries around it, otherwise it will run and ruin my life. So for myself, my healthy boundaries around my phone are it's on airplane mode a majority of the day. I only take it off airplane mode if I'm going to use it, and that is to upload on Instagram or to make a phone call or send a text message. Otherwise, my phone is on airplane mode. And that also sends a signal to everyone else that you can't get in contact with me whenever you want. I don't want to be a slave to my phone. So you can't call me and message me. Well, you can, but I won't get it until I've turned my phone off airplane mode. So that's a boundary that I have had to set. And then I have boundaries around Instagram. Because in the past that has really overwhelmed me a lot. And I. Yeah, I mean, for me, some people, it doesn't overwhelm. And for anyone listening who it doesn't overwhelm, can you please give me some tips? Because I would love that. But I've had to really set some boundaries for myself around Instagram. I only check it twice a day and I do not open it until I have until really around mid morning. So maybe like 10 or 11, sometimes even 12. I mean today it's 12 o' clock here in Australia, midday. And I haven't opened it because I've not had the time yet. And I am setting a healthy boundary to not do the mindless scrolling. So when I open Instagram, it is for a purpose. It is to either post or to respond to comments and things like that. So sometimes I don't get to it until three in the afternoon if I've got book tour and podcast and writing and speaking gigs and interviews and things like that. So I think we just really need to be sure of our own healthy boundaries. We can either express them verbally. If you don't want to express them, you just live them and people will see. Okay, well, you know, she doesn't have her phone on all the time, or she doesn't want to be spoken to like that, or whatever it is. But first of all, we just got to get clear on what our boundaries are.

I love that you said that because it really is like just deciding you teach people. My husband always says this, especially when we really got into network marketing, because it's like you can be available 24 7, right? Especially just the online world in general, just social media. It's like you teach people how to treat you. And it's so funny. We would have like these emergencies on our team and you know, they thought they were emergencies. And he'd be like, I'm not answering until afternoon. Because otherwise these people think they can message you at five in the morning or six in the morning. And I'm like, my God, he's so right. So while I'm having a panic attack, he's like totally chilling, you know, but then I watch how effective that is. Like it's so effective. And I was losing my peace over it and here he is totally fine. So that has been such a teacher. And I love that you do that with social media because I feel, I feel the same way a lot. And it's been game changing to just my. I'm like done with it by certain time of night. And when I start to get that feeling, I recognize it. I'm like, this is not. I know what this is. From this means this goes over here. So really powerful, really, really powerful. You get your life back. You know, we don't realize what we're losing it to, like social media. So what is something that you want to let go of?

Hmm. Hmm. Okay, so coming back to the relationship I'm most wanting to love and nurture and water at the moment, which is my relationship with my stepson, something that I want to let go of is control around him. Yeah, it's. It's the control that. It's an old default pattern that I learned from watching my parents. And it's something that I. It stinks. And I don't want, I don't want to live like that. So I would really like to. And what I'm working on right now with my mentors and coaches is really letting go of the control around him.

That's beautiful and not easy, especially because that's like a control can really feed off of, you know, the human need of certainty. It just, we think we're feeling certain and it's just not actually, it's not actually serving us because it usually again, goes the other way. Goes the other way. So with your book, because I want to circle back to the book. What is something that you really want people to know about the book?

Okay, so first of all, something that I want people to know just in general is that you are all worthy of deep love, rocking relationships and soulful connections and sex. Like this isn't reserved for some people. You know, we're all the same. We're all one. I didn't get any more specialness dust sprinkled on me from God when I was born into this world. We are all the same and we all deserve it. And I think a lot of people have very loud inner mean girls or inner bad boys and that voice inside their head that says, I'm not worthy of this or I'll never meet my soulmate or I'll never, you know, experience that sort of love. That voice is quite loud. And I really want to remind everyone that we didn't come here to suffer. You know, God or the universe, whoever you believe in, whatever you believe in, didn't put you on earth to suffer. We came here to be the full expression of ourselves. To play, to have fun, to share our gifts, to serve, to inspire. Like that's why we're here, not to suffer. And we can experience these beautiful relationships and connections and deep, authentic heart opening experience, expansive connections with other people and ourselves first and foremost. Like that is possible for every single person And I just want. I just wanted to remind everyone of that. And then in terms of the book, I mean, I cover all of this stuff in the book, but it essentially comes, you know, I start the book talking about self love, self acceptance, because you can't experience deep love and rocking relationships and soulful connections with others until you have that with yourself first. So we've really got to love and accept our beautiful self. That is key. That is key for everything. And then that will trickle out into all of your relationships and your work and your health and your relationship with money. You know, it feeds out into every area of your life. When you are overflowing with love for yourself and grateful for the body that you've been given in this time here on this earth, that's when life really starts to become fun.

I felt that so good. So is there anything else that has come up around this work while you're out on the road that you want to share with anyone in completion for the podcast?

I think, like, what we were talking about before, just striving for perfection. I know, Laurie, you guys probably get it. Like, people probably look at you and Chris and go, oh, my gosh, they're so perfect. They're so successful. They have everything. You know, we. We're still, like, everyone's working on their stuff. And I. I don't want people to put me on a pedestal because we're all here to grow and evolve. That's why we're here. And if I was enlightened, I would have levitated out of my body by now. And I'm pretty sure I'm still sitting on this chair. So, you know, please let go of the word perfect and striving for perfection and just be you. Be you. You are perfect. Quote, unquote perfect. You are whole. You are complete, just as you are, and really own that and feel that, because that'll feed out into every area of your life.

So beautiful. And thank you so much for showing up the way that you do and writing another book. I'm so excited, and I know that everybody on the podcast is going to be really excited because I know I still get people who message me about your last podcast and your book. So I'm so grateful that you continue to show up to do the work for yourself, because that's truly how we get to experience the answers in the other side of what you have gone through. So it's so great that you share so vulnerably. And I'm just grateful for the work that you do in the world. So I always end on one last question and it may have changed since the last time, so we'll have to see. So, Melissa, before I ask the question though, where can they get your book and where can everybody follow you if they're not already doing that?

Well, my website is melissaambrosini.com to get the book, you can go to melissarambrasini.com openwide. If you want to get it online, it's on Amazon. Or go into a bookstore. You know, you can go into bookstores. Whatever floats your boat. It's also an audio and then I'm on social media. I'm really active on Instagram and it's just Melissa Ambrosini. I'm also on Facebook, Melissa Ambrosini tribe, but I hang out mainly on those two platforms. So come and introduce yourself. Let me know what you think of the book. I would love to hear your top three key takeaways once you've read it.

I love it. Okay, so you're in an elevator with someone. I probably asked you this before, but we're asking it again because all the listeners love to hear the answer. So it's only like a 30 second ride and someone looks over at you, it's a total stranger. And they ask you, how can I make myself happy? What do you say?

Love and accept yourself unconditionally, wholeheartedly and completely.

You guys, if you love this episode as much as I did, make sure you share it with your friends. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy pod podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye. Bye.