220: The Key to Unlocking Your BLISS!

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Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the Earn your happy podcast. And it's time for a quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And my book is coming out. I know that so many of you have pre ordered it. I know so many of you are excited to get it in your hands and I'm even more excited to be quite honest, because I know exactly what this book is going to do, not only for you, but for your connections and your life. So it really is all about breaking through superficial friendships to create real connections and reach your highest potential. But this book can actually be read on its own as well. And when you're ready for a tribe, you can implement all of the things that are in the book. So you guys, if you are interested and want to grab this copy and have it on the day that it comes out, which is May 8, you need to put in your pre orders now. And that is@lorihutter.com Amazon and today I want to talk to you all about something that's in the book a lot and that is being authentic. And CS Lewis has a quote that says friendship is born at the moment when one man says to another, what you two? I thought this was only me. You guys. Being authentic is one of the most important things that we can follow throughout our lives. It is the entire journey and for a lot of us. And this was me. This was absolutely me. I didn't know why I couldn't attract and connect to the people that I wanted to connect to. And when it comes down to it, yes, there were so many reasons. But one of the biggest reasons was because I was not showing up fully myself. I was not willing to allow myself to be fully seen. I was not willing to tell anybody that I was anything but fine. So I was seeking all of my validation so through if I could help people or not. Because I truly was a fixer. I was somebody who kept the peace. And for me, if I told people what I needed or how I felt, I felt like I was disrupting their lives. I felt like I was being a burden. So I had to start sharing more vulnerably to start showing up more authentically. Me, I had to start telling people what I needed and how I felt. And let me tell you, I still get a vulnerability hangover when I really share myself completely. But the thing is, I also get massive connection on the other side. And we're afraid of this. We're afraid of this because of rejection. But the thing is, if we don't risk vulnerability and rejection, we will never actually have authentic connection. So it's not always going to go as you planned, and it's not always going to go well. But when you continue to take this risk, you are going to get the most beautiful reward on the other side, which is the safety net of sisters and brothers in connection and a tribe. And you will be able to do anything that you desire when you get this safety net below you of these deep, lasting connections, because you'll be able to take more free falls, which is fear, which is facing your fears. So I want to read you out of the book. Being authentic is actually the sixth agreement in the book. So, you guys, I have seven sacred agreements to creating these authentic relationships. And these are really agreements that are not only for yourself, but for the relationships that you are creating. And in Agreement 6, it is called be authentic. And it says, I'm gonna read to you directly from the book so you guys can get a little flavor of what this book is all about. It says, to be you feels like truth. To live your truth feels like bliss. Being the authentic you is your bliss. Choosing to be authentic is the path to following your bliss. Put simply, it means be happier by being more you. Easy, right? You might be saying, thanks, genius. If I knew how to be happy, I wouldn't need this book. But before we jump into what authenticity is, I want to let you know that in section three of this book, you'll be doing a deep dive into who you are and figuring out what makes you tick. But for now, let's talk about that role authenticity plays in your bliss. I kind of feel like it's one of those topics that you have to get lost in before you can be found. Meaning. When you ask yourself questions to try to find your authentic self, it can often lead to multiple layers of even deeper, deeper, deeper questions. Before you find what feels like your truth, just go with it and see what joy you can find in the unraveling. While researching the topic, I loved what author psychologist Nina Burrows had to say on it. If you want to understand the true meaning of authenticity, you need to go back to its root. The Latin root of the word authenticity is author. So being authentic doesn't mean being honest about who you are. It's about being your own author. Authenticity is an active and creative process. It's not about revealing something. It's about building something. And that something is you. So, you guys, it goes deeper into what authenticity is, and that's just the very first layer of authenticity. But I think that it's so important to know that becoming authentic is really following your joy, and it's following these soul nudges, and it's also knowing when a soul contract is up with someone else. So sometimes we're staying in these relationships that are keeping us tied to a version of us that actually wasn't us in the first place. So a lot of times we might look around and if we're not fully feeling like us or acting as if we are us, the true us, the free us, that version of us that makes you feel the best, showing your authentic self, these beautiful corners of yourself that you're not sharing with other people, even though you know that you want to, what happens is our inauthentic self might have attracted our current tribe. So the more authentic that you become, the more the inauthentic tribe is going to reveal themselves and say, you know, this new version of you is just not for me. And letting go is the hardest part. Letting go of them is the hardest part. It's that group that says that you've changed. What are you doing? This isn't you. And really, it is just you becoming more you. And now that tribe that you want to run in can finally see you. You guys, you can't be seen. If you're not showing up fully you. If you're showing up as the person you think you should be, then you're probably attracting a whole lot of people who think they should be something. And you're like, why is this person disappointing me? What's going on? Or why am I not feeling this connection? Or why am I not feeling supported? Or why am I feeling such an energy drain? And it might be because you're not fully committing to this warrior path of becoming you, of following your soul nudges, of facing your fears, of doing it anyway, even though you have a lot of fear of accepting what is of accepting the choices that you have made is your current reality and moving in to making those new choices that scare the crap out of you. And you guys, if you think that you are not meant to be afraid or that this is meant to feel awesome, that is not what the warrior's path feels like to becoming your authentic self. If you look around and you're like, dang, I'm taking the wrong path. There's no one around here. This feels lonely, this feels scary, this feels uncertain. You are on the right path if that is what you were called to, if that is what you were guided to. It won't always feel that way, you guys, but you have to start taking that path and you have to know that you are going to be held on the other side. You are going to create that safety net of those people who are also doing this work and they're going to be your safety net to remind you that this is the only way to live. You guys, if you're not committed to becoming your authentic self, then this is not fully or you're not fully living into why you were put on this planet. We are meant to grow. We are meant to evolve into the souls that we know that we are. And the second you were born, your soul already knew what it was. It already knew where it was supposed to go. It already knew the experiences it needed. That's why you chose your family. So you guys follow that trust that know that. Know that your only work in the world is to reveal more layers of the most authentic version of you. And this is going to attract the people and the opportunities that are meant for you if you're staying in the who you should be and the how you think you should show up and the what you think is the most popular group or what's going to get you somewhere but it doesn't feel good. That's actually going to hold you back and leave you feeling very frustrated and empty. So let go and know that you will blaze your own trail. Know that you don't need that tribe if it's not feeling like a fit, if it's just not working. You need to create your own tribe. You need to show up as that magnet, as the most authentic version of you, so that you can then attract who you are meant to attract. So stop trying to fit in and start trying to be more you.

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You guys, I am so proud of you for always showing up to this work. I'm so grateful for you and I cannot wait for you to read more about this book and create and connect and attract your most authentic tribe. So you guys, thank you so much for always sharing on Instagram, for always connecting with me, for always sharing your takeaways because that really allows me to connect to you and the audience that is listening to this. So I love you guys so much. I'm so grateful. And if you want to order the book, you can do that now@loriharder.com Amazon so that you get it on May 8th and we will all be doing this together. You can start creating your tribe right now. So how it works is if you want to read it alone, you can absolutely read it alone. You're going to get so much out of it. I have so many girls at this point who I've given pre copies to who have read it alone and love it. But if you want to right out of the gates build your tribe, what a lot of people are doing is they're buying two to three other copies and gifting them to their friends. So pre order three to four, four copies and you can gift these to your friends so you can start on May 8th when you guys all get them in the mail so we can start doing this together and talking about it in the Facebook group. So you guys, there is a Facebook page if you want to join it to know all about what's going on with the book tour. I will be visiting a city near you most likely, and I can't wait to continue on this conversation because right now, this is the thing for me that's going out into the world that I can't wait to create a shift and a movement among what we are able and capable of doing. And that's really what we've always known we're capable of doing. We are incredibly powerful and together we are a force that cannot be stopped for good. So you guys, I love you. Sending my love. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye bye.