221: What No One Ever Shares About Becoming Successful with Chris and Lori Harder

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Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Hey, everybody. Once again, you are getting both Chris Harder and I, because we have been getting crazy requests through email and inboxes letting us know that you love the episodes that Chris and I do together the most. And that when we work together, whether it's on Facebook or when we do events together, that that is really when you can get two for the price of one. It's like the male and female perspective, not to mention really talking about different relationships and how Chris is so linear and I am soulful. So we really speak to so many people in so many different parts of you when we do shows together. So we knew that we had to come on because it's been in such high demand. And you guys, we are really excited because today we are announcing another way that you finally get to work with us. For years, people have been asking for mentorship, one on one coaching, live events, and we finally have a program where we have put every single tool and belief and every single way that Chris and I have created success in our lives and in our relationships all in one spot. And that is at our life course called Aligned. And you guys, you can go to becomealigned.com right now and you can enroll. Enrollment actually ends this Wednesday, the 28th. Chris, you want to talk about what exactly Aligned is?

Well, so just like you were saying before, I just want to echo the one thing that I get the most is emails on when are you going to do another episode with your wife? And so, first of all, I love that you're on here with me. Second of all, yeah, we put together a line because like we were talking about before, we have never had an opportunity for people to really get the coaching from us that they ask. I mean, unless they join Mastermind, which, let's just be frank, it's $25,000. So that's an awful lot of money for most people or unless they want $35,000 coaching. There has not been a way to get coached by either one of us or both of us. And so shame on us almost that we had not created that way for people to tap into our beliefs, for people to tap into literally the steps and the thought patterns and the hacks that got us exactly where we are today. And I think here's the beautiful thing, we're still a work in progress. And so all we're doing is taking the years and years and years worth of coaches, mentors, self development events, all that stuff that we have invested in, over half a million bucks we figured out the other day. That's wild. And put it into one location of everything that we know now up to this point. And you know what? It's gotten us to where we are and I'm really proud of where we are. So it's one heck of an opportunity to like tap into our way of doing things.

So it's really exciting because this course covers life, relationships and financial abundance. And if you enroll by Wednesday at midnight, you will be the only people who during this course, you'll get lifetime membership and you will get nine weeks of live group coaching from Chris and I. So once a week for nine weeks, we are both going to come on and answer any questions that are coming up around the content that you're going through really about anything. The thing about Chris and I is we are total open books. We want to tell you what the low points are, what the high points are, how to get through them. We want to help you get through whatever is blocking you right now from going to where you want to go in your mind. So, you guys, that is Wednesday the 28th and it closes at midnight. And you're going to get those bonus nine weeks of live coaching. And did we mention that if you purchase right now, you also get a free, a totally free ticket to our aligned live event fall of 2019. And the retail value on that is 999. So you're getting that absolutely free. You get a free ticket to come to the live event in fall 2019. And I know you're all going to ask where it is. It will be in the LA area. So come on out and take a little vacay in California with us and align with your entire tribe. And that's really what this is about too, is finally the first step to connect to the tribe that you need and the support that you need to reach your goals. Because you can't do this alone. Chris and I are massive advocates for making sure that you have a team making sure that you have the. Making sure that you have all the tools that you need in order to go to the next level. So today we want to get really, really transparent. And we want to talk about what no one ever shares about becoming successful. So we have a few different topics. And you know, Chris, I want to ask you about. You talk all about. This is the law of income. And when you first taught this to me, my mind was blown because I finally understood what I would have to do to make the money that I wanted to make.

So the law of income, I feel like they should teach this in school because the law of income is one of the things that's similar to the law of gravity, the law of attraction, like the law of anything, that it's a fact. You cannot waver from the fact that this dictates how much money you're going to make, which makes it easier to get overall success. And the law of income states this. The amount of income that you are going to make in direct proportion with how many people you add value to. Let me repeat that. The law of income states that the amount of income that you are going to make is in direct proportion to the number of people that you add value to. Now, notice it does not say the type of value. Notice it does not say if you add massive value. Notice it does not say if you add really, really, really, really good value that's better than the next person. And this is where people get tripped up. So I want to take, for example, really honorable, important, amazing careers like nurses and teachers and firefighters and soldiers, why do they make 50, 60, 70 grand a year while celebrities, actors, actresses, football players, baseball players, basketball players make millions? Right? How many times have you heard someone say, that's not fair. How many times have you heard somebody say, that's out of whack? How many times have you heard somebody say, those dang football players, those dang NFL players, they're spoiled, they're making millions of dollars, and I can hardly get by, and I'm shaping the future youth of America. Well, here's the thing. The law of income doesn't state that the type of value that you are offering dictates your income. And this is where people get tripped up. It just dictates the more people that you offer value to dictates your income. And so the unfortunate facts are this. And then I'm going to. Don't worry. I'm going to get to the good part here in a minute. The unfortunate facts are this. The let's take an NFL player. They make 2, 3, 4, 5, $10 million a year. That is because on Sundays when they play a game, they are adding value to literally millions and millions of people that are watching that game. Whereas, let's say a teacher is teaching maybe 20, 30 kids per class, four, five classes a semester. So a teacher is working with 100 to 150 kids a semester, while an NFL player is adding value to millions and millions of people every Sunday. Now listen, we could sit here and argue all day which one is more important? And I think the answer there is obvious. And I think that we can sit here and argue all day which one's more valiant and which one's more needed. And the answers there are obvious, but that's not how the law of income works. And so this is where really good people that work really, really hard get frustrated because they say, it's not fair that I'm only making X while all these other people make all this money. But once you're aware of the law of income, here's where you can start making it work in your favor. This is why I first deliver the bad news, and I'm going to deliver the good news. You can make this work in your favor no matter what your skill set or your expertise is. Let's stick with this example of a teacher. So let's say a teacher invented like this revolutionary way of learning. They would then be able to get this brand new revolutionary way of learning into all the schools or maybe all the people who are being homeschooled. And instead of reaching just 100 to 150 kids a semester, they're now reaching tens of thousands of kids with their new method of learning because they're adding value to so many more people. Now they in return are going to make tons and tons and tons of money. Now notice the type of value in this scenario that they're offering did not change. They were educating kids in a classroom and now they're educating kids in mass. Right? All that changed is the number of people that they're adding value to. And that's why their income goes up so significantly. You know, take a nurse. Let's say a nurse comes up with a way more efficient way to do something in a hospital and brings it to market. That nurse now goes from slaving away 12 hour shifts and working way too hard for, you know, 60, $70,000 a year and now is making hundreds of thousands or millions because of this new efficient, revolutionary idea that she brought to several hospitals or clinics. And so the law of income can be frustrating at first. It's why the world doesn't feel fair. But a law is a law, right? And so we can't change the law and the way it works. Just like we can't change the law of attraction, we can't change the law of gravity, we can't change the laws of physics. But you can tilt them in your favor. And so whatever it is you do for a living, ask yourself, how can I add this value that I'm already adding to way more people and that will result in way more income?

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That always makes me think because that makes sense with even our network marketing company. Because you're not just teaching one person how to make money, you're teaching those people how to teach people how to make money. So it's this ripple effect that keeps going, keeps going, keeps going. So the teacher who teaches people how to teach other people to make this rapid impact is where you're gonna really start making more money.

Absolutely. However many people you are reaching, whether you're reaching it by building an army or whether you're reaching them directly is going to determine how much money you make. And the more people you reach, the more you're gonna make.

Okay, so we want to talk all about the things that no one ever shares about becoming successful. So one thing that I can say that I did not expect about becoming successful was the struggles in your relationships as you start to make these decisions, these commitments, to start to follow your soul, to make these financial goals and stick to them and what that looks like and the reason why so many people cannot stick to them and is because our relationships feel threatened. The way that we feel that we are fitting in with our family, with our community, we feel like we will no longer be loved. We feel like we will no longer be accepted. And the biggest thing that I've come to realize is how important it is to have a tribe of people who are already doing this or have a way to connect into groups of people who are like minded like you are, because you hear this everywhere. It doesn't matter what level you're at when you are trying to do something different or break out of a rut that you are in or break free of a situation that you're in. What you don't realize is a lot of times the situation that you're in feels so permanent because all of the people around you are in the same situation. And it feels permanent because you're not seeing any other way of being. You're not seeing any other way of getting out. And the mentality is to all keep you there. Because the second that one person starts to break out, what does it say to the other people that either you are thinking that you're better than them and they're not ready to do the work that it takes to go there, or that maybe they are not doing what they know they really want to be doing and that it's going to take some serious work to get there. No matter what it is, it's really about creating. Creating the place that you can go to talk about your goals and to know what is coming. Because, you guys, I had no idea the struggles that were coming in my relationships. And what really helped me with it was to have this group of people who were out there in the world being so impactful and putting all of their time and energy and making impact, making change and living their truth and living their dreams and creating purpose and going for their goals and really knowing that there's a different way of life, that it helped me realize that I needed to make sure I was spending time there. Otherwise what would happen is I was getting pulled back into the struggle. I was getting pulled back to the belief that it was supposed to be hard. I was getting pulled back, that money was hard to make, that life was always going to look this way. So I can't tell you how important it is to have that tribe on the other side.

Nobody told us how hard this part was going to be, Right. And we had to figure it out for ourselves and we had to get tons of coaching around it. The reason why people don't transcend to a new level in success is because they can't transcend their current tribe because of these things that pop up. Right? Like, it's so uncomfortable when your family doesn't like something you wrote about in your book. It's so uncomfortable when your family doesn't like something that you're teaching online, even though you're just sharing your perspective of your childhood. It's so uncomfortable when your friends start saying, oh, you used to be Fun. Transcending your current tribe is the hardest thing to do, and it's why most people can't transcend to that next level of success.

Ooh, I love that you say that. And the thing is, sometimes people can even have trouble with the word transcending. So even I want you to picture you becoming more you. So sometimes it's the hardest thing to allow your whole self to be seen. It's like, if I share this part of me, it won't be loved and accepted and this is truly who I am. And if it's rejected, then what?

What?

Right? Then where do I go? So a lot of times we end up playing this other person and this people pleaser just to fit in. And you guys, when you're doing that, I'm telling you, when you're not showing up fully you and you're not sharing yourself, you will feel tired, you'll feel exhausted. You won't know what to say when you're trying to share content for your business. You won't know what type of content to create that's impactful for your business. You won't know your next step. You won't know who to talk to. You won't be attracting the right tribe because you're not being you. So in order for you to truly attract the right people for this next level and for you to go to the next level and for people to want to go with you and see you as a leader, you have to show up so fully you. But like Chris said, that's not easy. That's going to be a whole lot of pushback from your family and friends saying, who is this? This isn't who you are. You're so different. And really it's you saying, well, this is really who I've been all along, but I have just been trying to fit in. I've just been thinking that I had to be this way in order to be loved. And you guys, this is the hardest part, is becoming you and sharing the real you. But the real you is who will eventually, believe me. Your family will most likely come back around. Your friends will most likely come back around. And trust me, the ones who leave and gone are meant to be gone. And you will see it, whether it takes a year or two years or three years, you will feel so blessed by the fact that you were able to release them and release them in a way that you don't have to carry them. You can forgive it. A lot of people were just meant to be in your life for a season. Not for the entire span of your life. So, Chris, finding your people who support you, finding your team, what is that like? Because I think, I feel like, you know, when we would go to these masterminds, it's like people are like, I have this awesome videographer, I have this incredible assistant. And we would always be drooling over the fact that these people have these incredible teams that support them. And we'd be like, how do you find your team?

Well, this is another one of those things that nobody ever bothers to share about getting and becoming successful is you can't muscle it out yourself. I know that you see all these personalities online. It looks like they're a one man show or a one woman show. And you're doing the numbers, you're saying, wow, look at, you know, they sold this many tickets to this event and all they did was do a bunch of swipe ups. That's not reality. Reality is everything comes together only as you find your team. And finding your team is the hardest dang thing to do. I mean, we're still refining our team and we'll never be done refining our team because here's what happens. As soon as you find your people, you move the finish line. And you might have found people that are great to get you to the current finish line that you're aiming for. But then as soon as you get there and you raise your target, you raise your standards, you change the finish line. Then sometimes you realize that the current people that got you to your first finish line may not have the skill sets or the drive or the desire to get you to that next, further off finish line. And so you're kind of always up leveling your team. You're kind of always asking them to grow with you, or you're looking for someone who is already where you are trying to go. And that's what's so frustrating, right, is because no one ever tells you this. No one ever says, hey, I'm here because of my assistant and my Internet marketer and my accountant and my mentor and my coach and my videographer and my editor and my. Nobody ever lists their team often enough. And so they think, well, if she can do it and she's got three kids, why can't I? And you get frustrated and you quit and you think, oh, maybe I'm not made for this. It's not that you're not made for it. It's not that you're not working hard enough. It's not about working harder. It's about getting a better team around You. And that doesn't mean you have to go and spend a katrillion dollars at first. I've noticed that you invest in your team as your income goes up, and it's this great snowball that starts to work in your favor. So first. First you invest in somebody before you feel ready. And that's the uncomfortable part, but it gets the snowball going. So first you invest in somebody before you get going. I always say your best first investment is a really, really good assistant. That's your best first teammate. And then so invest in someone before you're ready. That will help you create more income. When you create more income, invest in your next person. That will then help you create even more income, which allows you to invest in your third person. And you see how the snowball just starts feeding itself. You make more income, you add another person, you make more income, you add another person. You just have to be willing to kind of take that step, that leap of faith in the beginning and make that first hire before you feel ready.

You know, and for people who maybe are not in a position who even need an assistant yet, you know, that's why I love, love, love courses like ours and the one that we have put together is because this can be your. Your first team, really, you need a place where you feel comfortable dipping into the resources as a group and the mentality as a group. So a lot of times when people think that maybe they need a team or they need an assistant, but they can't afford it yet, it's kind of like, well, do you have a place where you can go ask your questions and find resources and even work out some trades in the very, very beginning? And that's a beautiful place to do. It is in the group that we have or in a similar group. So that's why these groups are becoming so wildly popular, you guys, is because they become your team, not only in the beginning, but in the long run of. If you want to know how to become more resourceful, surround yourself by resources and by people. And that is how you find all of the answers.

There are so many challenges to business that I don't want starting to be.

One of them for you.

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So you guys Another thing that I was completely unaware of was the emotional roller coaster that becoming successful is. And I used to look at all of these people who had the careers that I wanted and I thought they're so sure, they're so confident, they're such incredible teachers. Like they just know their stuff in and out and sideways and I feel like they could just be given a stage and go up there and teach, or walk in front of a room, or walk in front, you know, sit down at a webinar and teach. And what you don't realize is what goes behind the. The scenes, what's going in and what's happening and what's going on in their minds. And, you know, to really remove the veil, I want to get really honest with you guys and let you know we get to see the ins and outs of so many successful people. And being uncertain and always questioning yourself is one of the biggest parts of becoming successful. It's being uncertain and choosing to move through it, knowing that the only way to be successful and the only way to get your answers is to move through uncertainty so that you can gather data while you are going through the journey. And then that's how you get smarter. That's how you learn what you really want to teach on. That's how you learn what's really important to you. And I have to tell you that even the best feedback is some of the critical feedback, because that makes you realize exactly what you stand for. It makes you look at. Maybe you should have said something differently so you become really aware. And thank goodness, a lot of these things happen early on in the journey, which is such a beautiful thing. But it's also the reason why so many people quit is because they're getting so much feedback. But what happens is all of that feedback, if you can just keep on going, keep walking through the fire, keep going with the uncertainty. And the fear is that the feedback is getting you extremely clear on who you are, what you need to do better, what to teach. And I think Chris and I were always, always feeling uncertain. And if you're growing, that's exactly how you should be feeling, is wondering what's next, wondering where you can grow, wondering if your content is good enough. And really, I think that's so vital because that means that you're taking the steps to put yourself out there to really get better and to make sure that you're growing well.

So you started this very last point that no one ever shares about becoming successful, saying that it's an emotional roller coaster, more than you will ever expect. The highs are higher than the highs, but the lows are lower than the lows. And they're going to happen more than you expect them to happen. What happens is everyone's living an Instagram life. You see all the other entrepreneurs out there on Instagram, and you only see their highlight reel. You only see the good stuff. Most people aren't willing to share the breakdowns. Most people aren't willing to share the low moments. Most people aren't willing to share the tears or the frustrations or when they totally and utterly fail on a new idea. And that's one of the things that Lori and I have tried our hardest to do, is to say, okay, there's plenty of people sharing the good stuff and how to we want to share everything. Like we want to share. When you're down, don't worry, it's normal. When you think you've totally lost, don't worry, it's normal. When you are crying and punching the wall, don't worry, it's normal. Like, I had this one episode on my podcast recently called I Had a Breakdown. And then, Laurie, you had this great line. You said, listen, you can have your breakdowns checking out at Walmart or you can have your breakdowns checking out of the Ritz, right? We're all going to have them, but most people don't share them. And it's that emotional roller coaster that'll stop you in your tracks because you watch everyone else on Instagram, you watch everyone else on Facebook, you watch everybody else on TV and it looks like everything is roses and you think you're not cut out for it, and that's why you stop. Trust me, you're cut out for it. Matter of fact, when you're having your breakdowns, when you're on that emotional rollercoaster, when you totally fail at something, all that means is that you're actually doing it right. You're actually on the right track. You're actually trying hard enough to get frustrated. You're actually trying hard enough to break down into tears. You're actually trying hard enough to have that total huge screw up because you're moving too fast. If you're not having those things, you're not trying hard enough.

I love that. And you guys, I. Since we share everything, I've literally cried pretty much every other day for the last two weeks because I just, I'm moving into uncertain territory. I'm sharing myself more than I've ever shared. I'm doing things more than I've ever done. I'm about to put a book out, I'm putting a lot of content out. We're being really, really transparent. And the thing that I'm learning the most from this experience is, number one, the importance of, of having people to share this journey with and to just say, I am having another crazy day. Like, I don't know when I'm gonna see the other side of this and then crying and moving through it and reframing and using the tools. And that's the other thing is that we are sharing so many of our tools. And I told. I've. I think I've said this to Chris like three times this week. I don't know what I would do without these tools that we have learned. There's no way I'd be doing this and, and moving towards even, even growing even more and putting more out there and doing the things that I want to do without these tools. And the thing is, you might be like, well, that life sounds kind of crappy if you're crying all of the time. And let me tell you that this is. There's a point, though, when you're breaking through to what the next level is, it's going to feel this way because you are transcending what your new normal became to another version of your new normal. So I'm, I'm leaving what used to be and feel comfortable because I got to it. I got used to the schedule. I got used to putting myself out there a certain amount. I got used to only sharing so much. I got used to, you know, whatever it is I got used to at that level. And now I'm moving to a new level. I'm sharing more, I'm showing up more, I am doing more, and it's rocking my world. And until I get used to it and until I know exactly what tools are going to pull me through, this is what it looks like in the middle. And that's what's happening to you. Guys, guys, is you're letting yourself get stopped because you think it's supposed to feel how it feels at the level that you're at. But when you are changing everything and turning it on its head, it's going to feel crazy. You're going to feel like you are free falling and you have nothing to grab but the tribe and the tools and the people around you are the safety net.

Laura, you say it best when you say the biggest limiting belief for most people out there is the belief that it's supposed to feel good all the time. Like when you said that it was a mind blowing because that is the limiting belief. Wait, this is supposed to feel good. Why does this feel so bad? I must not be cut out for this. You know, it's funny because this actually leads us into a similar. But another thing that nobody ever bothers to share with you about getting successful and that is there's no such thing as balance in other Words. There's not this daily or weekly balance. We all strive for it, but it's almost like this, this big American fable that you're supposed to find balance and success at the same time. Here's what balance really looks like. It looks like the sweatiest, all out, most uncomfortable push of your life in order to get through that wall, in order to get to the next level. And then a season of resting. So the past four, five, six months we have hardly seen our friends, haven't seen our family enough. We've had more frustrating moments than we can count on. This has been the busiest five months we've ever, that I ever remember having since we've been married, which is 12 and a half years ago. And then the other half of that balance though is it hasn't been daily, it hasn't been weekly, it hasn't even been monthly. It's going to be this summer. You know, look at this summer. We have plans to go to Europe for July. We're going to go see our families and see a whole bunch of the US in August. And so that's what the balance really looks like. Guys. If you're going to get to the next level, it's a really sweaty, uncomfortable push where you are sacrificing so many things that people think you should be able to enjoy or that they think you should be entitled to. And then the other part of where the pendulum swings back, the other part of the balance is the season where you get to rest and the machine is built and it's printing your money and you're already in flow and you're already, you've reached that new level of success and you get to go do things that other people don't get to go do.

I love that and I cannot wait for that. And let me tell you, if you don't build it in during your sweaty points, and sometimes it's like sometimes some things can happen where you build it in and momentum happens. And you need to know when you need to sit down and have a conversation and say we might need to reschedule our downtime and push it out just a little bit more. Because. Because sometimes when a momentum comes, guess what? You don't get a choice to when you ride that massive wave that you've been wishing for. So when all of the things in my life, all of the my dreams came true at once, it's like I don't get to say, you know what, it's really great that I get to publish my book and put it out right now, but we're so busy and I'm really stressed out and I'm feeling wildly crazy at the moment, like. Like I'm gonna wait on this one. You don't get that opportunity. You are coming out with that book. You are coming out with that program. Your live event was planned at this time. You said yes to too many things, and now you just have to follow through and ride the momentum and push it out and plan it. So that's kind of what happened for us is I think we had this expectation early on in the spring that we would get some time off. And when that didn't happen because the momentum just kept going, we were just stuck. So I'm not gonna lie, so upset about it that it actually started to affect us because as we were working, it was like, well, we're tired and we should be having this time off. And what happened? And is this really the life that we wanted? When you have to reframe, you have to know how to reframe over and over and over and remember your why. Like, you have to get so in touch with your why. You have to lean so much on your higher power. You have to lean so much on the. This tribe that you've built to support you. You have to just go and lean on faith knowing that you get to do this. Like, this is the life that you've been called to and you get to do this. What a blessing. You better reframe that. Like, go ahead and cry about it for a while. You better move through the emotion because that's so important. Like, I've been crying intentionally because when I do it, it's like a release and I can finally reframe on the other side. And then what happens is make sure again you go and schedule that time. And now it's in stone. We've got lots of money down on these airline tickets on our hotels. We are leaving no matter what to go and have that recharge time.

Speaking of money, that's another thing that nobody ever tells you about getting successful. This is a part no one ever shares, right. Is just how expensive the journey is. I think everyone. We're just in this habit of everyone sharing the wins instead of sharing the real dark corners of the how to. And here's the funny thing about business. It always costs less than you expect to get started, right? So don't let it paralyze you. Get started. It costs less than you think to start, but it also costs more than you think it's going to to keep going and Grow. So it costs less than you think to get started. It costs more than you think to keep going. You know, somebody will see the sale of a product, an online launch or an event or something like that, and they'll do the math. They'll say, oh my gosh, look, you sold this many seats times this ticket price. Wow, look how much money you made. What they don't realize is the attorney's fees for trademarks, the way, you know, hotels charge you for event space and meals, like meals are like four or five times as much as they're supposed to be. It's the craziest thing out there. The insurances that you have to take out, the number of people that you have to, you know, have on your team, nobody bothers to share just how expensive the journey gets. And so you got to be prepared for that. And I don't tell you this so that it stops you in your tracks because the good news is this, while the profit margin is going to surprise you, and I don't mean in a necessarily good way all the time, it's also easier than you think to get out there and create more revenue. You know, revenues at top line number, the gross dollar amount. So when you come across more expensive, more expenses in order to grow, then you find a way to increase that top line revenue. And there's, listen, there are so many ways for you to grow your business out there. There's grants, there is angel investors, there are, you know, Kickstarter campaign crowdfunding crowdfunding campaigns. There are, you know, there's business loans. There's so many different ways for you to find the capital to get to the next level. I think people feel like once they reach this part where like wait a minute, a website costs how much? Wait a minute, to build a funnel costs how much, Wait a minute, for me to build my mold, for my product, to even see if it works, costs how much and that stops them in their tracks. Hey, that's the part where you have faith, right? You have to have full time faith. Laurie always talks about this. You got to have full time faith. You spend the money anyways, you invest the money anyways, even though it's uncomfortable because it will pay off in the long run. It's like temporary discomfort when it comes to how much it costs to be successful.

I love that you talk about that because you have to invest back into your business. I think I remember when we first really started, it was like I thought that I just got to keep all of that money to myself. But as Things started changing on the Internet, and things changed on Facebook. And also, just if you want to grow past the number that you keep hitting, people are like, oh, well, I'm getting stopped because my followers. Followers are here. Only this many people are signing up on my online program. Maybe it's 20, 50, 100, whatever that is. And you guys, the reason that people are growing is because they're investing back into their business. You want more people on your challenge, well, then you need to figure out how to market to more people. And a lot of times you don't get to see that money until much later. So maybe you're investing in Facebook ads, ads. And, you know, you just broke even on your challenge. But what happens is that people end up going to all of your other programs eventually because you got eyes on them, so you end up making money much later. So it's a long game. Business and strategy and getting yourself out there is a long game. What happens so often is we. We want this immediate result. Like, okay, we just spoke to a thousand people. Why. Why don't I see this result right away? Then all of a sudden, throughout the year, you want watch these people slowly trickle into all of your programs. You have to remember every single thing you do. You really need to think about what is the intention behind why you're doing it, and what sort of money do you want to keep from what you just made to reinvest back in? How big do you want to get? So how big do you want to get is really an intentional thing. I think we look online and we're like, oh, this person has this many followers. It just happened overnight. She posted all these pictures. Pictures, and she's magical. No, she's probably running really intentional campaigns, Ads, posts. She is thinking about what is going on there. He is thinking about what's going on there. So we tell you this again, not to stop you, but so that when you get discouraged thinking that this is just happening for other people, it is not. Like, I used to get so discouraged going, oh, my God, this woman just had 20,000 people join her program. And then they're like, yeah, but she spent a million dollars on Facebook ads after being in business for five years. Okay, that makes me feel better because I. I stop questioning what am I doing wrong that I only have x want to join my program. Like, what's wrong with me? Well, you guys, it's not just about the personality or your content. It's about your marketing. It's about the strategy. It's about, are you really being intentional? With how much money you want to make. If you can't tell me how much money you want to make right now in the next six months, you're never going to make more money. You need to know what you're going to make and you're going to need to know how you're going to make it. And you're going to need to know who your support system is going to be in order to make that money. When you don't have a plan, you're never going to hit it. And you're going to go back to all of the things that are just tiring you out, wondering, how is everybody making it? This is how they're making it. It's very intentional. It's very challenging. It'll be the hardest push of your life and then you will get rewards beyond anything that you have ever experienced in your life. So another thing that has really surprised me is the amount of tough conversations that I have had to have on a frequent basis and taking care of problems as they arrive immediately because there is no time. When you're running a business or you want to be successful or you want to grow as a human being, you do not get the luxury anymore of avoiding problems. They will come and bite you in the butt. Or maybe the relationships or people that are no longer serving your business, they will drag on your business, they'll drag on your life and you will be losing money by the day if you don't have these really tough conversations. Whether it's a relationship that's pulling you down so you have no energy to create that content or that course, or they're taking all of this time with these hour long conversations every single day, wanting to complain or gossip while you could be doing something that could have massive impact or making money in your business so that you can create this life that you love and impact the people that you want to impact. So really taking care of each problem as they arise, it becomes like pulling a band aid off. And let me tell you, when it first starts and it's still not easy for me, it really sucks. It does not get much better. You just get more used to having to have these conversations. And I'm still working on this because I am a people pleaser to the nth degree and I'm becoming better at not being a people pleaser because I know whenever I'm people pleasing, I'm actually hurting them and myself and all the people that I should be helping out in the world. So really having these tough conversations as they arise and you know, Chris and I have to have tough conversations every single day. I think we've had a tough conversation every day this week, haven't we? Every day for the past two weeks. And just really making sure that if a problem comes up, you don't stuff it down, you don't sweep it under the rug, and you confront it as soon as possible in the most loving way possible. Because you need to learn how to have these conversations that are coming from a loving place. Because there's always two sides to every story.

And this is the part to remember where it's just business. In business. Here's your obligation. You have an obligation to serve as many people as possible. That's your obligation, because that's why you're in existence, is to serve. You have a great talent, you have a great product, and you're supposed to get that talent or that product to as many people as possible. And so if you don't have these tough conversations, if you don't talk about the things that need to be talked about, if you don't negotiate the right terms, if you don't stand your ground, if you don't stand up for yourself, if you don't do all these things that most people shy away from or stuff in the closet and let them get bigger, then you are unable to serve the number of people that you are supposed to serve. You'll get stuck, you'll be blocked, and you won't be able to do what your true calling was. There's a reason you're given gifts. There's a reason why you're good at things that other people aren't. Those are your gifts for you to serve with. But you're not going to be able to do that to your full stability unless you have the tough conversations.

And here's the deal, you guys, you, I love talking about that. This is your obligation because it is. And you are feeling pain right now because you are not stepping in to your highest calling. You are not making the money you are meant to make to support your message, to support your dream, to support your family and to support those who are in need, who cannot support themselves. And you are feeling pain because that pain is meant to motivate you, to finally step in. And when I finally realized that I was over waking up at 1, 2, 3am wondering or feeling this massive anxiety that I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing. And when I started taking the action and moving with the fear hand in hand through the uncertainty and really finding those people who understood what I was talking about, that is when I finally started to feel how I'm supposed to be feeling. Peace, flow, happiness. Yes, challenges are all a part of it, but you should be able to access these other feelings too. If you have not been able to access peace and flow and connection with your creator, with your, in your relationships and really feeling content in your life life, then you are missing the boat on the obligation to step into your purpose. Now we dance in all of the emotions. Don't get me wrong, you just heard about how up and down we are, but we are up a lot of the time, more often than not. And we are learning from the lows. And I am so grateful for them. I'm sitting here so grateful for the tears the last two weeks because they've taught me so much about who I am and who you are and what you're going through and why, why we feel that pain. So it is your obligation, you guys, and that's why we created this course. We pray and hope that you step into your calling to not only create massive impact in the world, but to finally feel what it feels like to live your purpose and live this life that your Creator has planned for you. To feel peace, to feel flow, to allow the relationships that are waiting to come in for you to come in. To feel this incredible divine connection with your creator, with your friends, with your family and know what it feels like to be able to provide in the way that you know you are capable of providing and teaching in a way that you know you're capable of teaching. You are here for something way bigger and you know it. That's why you listen to this podcast, that's why you tune in. That's why this is pulling at your heart. Follow those nudges. They have never done you wrong, they have never done me wrong, they have never done Chris wrong. Follow the soul nudges. Have full time faith leap. Know that the free fall is coming and you guys support yourself. Aligned is the way to support yourself. If this is calling to you, then absolutely sign up. And you guys, this is a six month money back guarantee and it is the best course that I can think of for life. Relationships and money mindset from two different perspectives, male and female. Whether you have a significant other or you're doing this alone, it doesn't matter because it's really great to have those two for the price of one. Having the linear, having the soulful, really understanding that you need this money, but you also need to or you need to make money, but you also need to feel connected. And you need to know what your purpose is and that you are supported by something so much bigger than you can imagine it is. You are supported by something so much bigger than any any problem that could ever arise. And we're going to teach you how to lean into that, how to know that, and also how to create a plan around what your highest calling is.

So first time ever that Lori and I each took our individual strengths, our individual skill sets and put it together in one spot. I mean, typically you had to invest in something that I was doing in order to learn about money mindset and abundance and business or you had to invest in one of the events or programs that Lori was doing to learn about self love and how to navigate through life and relationships and tribe, this is the first time we've put it in one spot by joining forces together. So a third of you are going to come because you want massive breakthroughs in your money mindset and you want incredible abundance in your life. You want to finally figure out why is it that you haven't quite become as wealthy as you want to get. A third of you are going to come for that, except you're going to learn that it's everything you believe in your life and everything that's going on in your relationships that creates that abundance. And then a third of you are going to come for the relationships. You're going to say, I need to get my relationships on lockdown. All kinds of relationships. The ones with your romantic partners, the ones with yourself, the ones with your business partners, with your friends. So you're going to come for the relationships, but then you're going to realize, wait a minute, I need to lock everything down in my life and I need to make sure that my business is in flow in order to have relationships that thrive. And then another third of you are going to come to the program because you want to figure out how to master happiness and fulfillment in life. And when you come for life skills, you're going to realize, whoa, I didn't realize how much abundance and relationships determine the outcome of my overall happiness and fulfillment in life. And so I actually call this the bait and switch. You're going to come for one of the three reasons and you're going to get the that you're going to have massive breakthroughs for whatever one of the three reasons that you come to the program for. But the bonus for you is going to be the other two areas that you have tremendous growth in. And it's all three areas working together. Life, relationships and Abundance that gives you the feeling of whatever it is that you are seeking. So make sure that you check out our aligned life life program. This is, by the way, one of the only times that we are giving away the nine weeks of life coaching with it. That is not a core part of the program. That's a bonus for anybody who signs up before Wednesday the 28th, before midnight. We cannot wait to have you guys as a member of our aligned tribe.

So thank you guys so much and you can go to becomealigned.com and if you're ready to get rid of your excuses, if you're ready to stop believing that you have to be talented or in a certain group or a part of a certain tribe, that is absolutely not it. You can create your own. You can join your own like minded group. It is about how much you're willing to show up and be consistent. That is it. I don't care what your background is. You can do this. You are meant for this and your story is meant to impact, impact other people. So you guys, thanks so much for being on and we cannot wait to see you in the coaching group. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye bye.