233: Learn The MISSING LINK in SELF GROWTH and SELF-LOVE with Chris and Lori Harder

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Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul, and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the Earn your happy podcast. And today is so much fun because my husband, Chris Harder, who also has a podcast called for the Love of Money, is going to interview me. And let me tell you, I was so excited, but he would not tell me any of the questions before our interview. So I am so not only impressed, but excited because I have not out of maybe the. I don't even know how many interviews I've done now. I've maybe like seven or eight a day for the past few weeks. I will tell you that he asked me some questions that I know are going to impact your life because they are all about our relationship and how this book and having a tribe has truly made our relationship better. And of course, with his podcast being all about money mindset, he dove right into how, how this tribe has affected our finances and how it's really affected our, you know, money mindset and what it's done for our lives. And I just think there's so many moments during this podcast where maybe I have not shared yet because I haven't been asked the questions about what it really looks like, what my fears were around releasing this book with my family, with not feeling smart enough with all of these different stories that I have not told yet. So I hope that you guys really enjoy this podcast. And as you know, this is launch week. This is a huge, amazing, nerve wracking, awesome, terrifying, super, fantastic, crazy, amazing week. All of the I'm feeling, all of the feels. I know some of you have already gotten early books and it would mean the world to me as I ask in the end if you would share, if you would upload. But most of all, I hope that you love this interview and that this book changes your life. So let's get started.

All right, babe, so listen, I get excited for every single podcast I do, but this one is a little Extra special for me because I get to ask you about your brand new book, A Tribe called Bliss, which I have watched you work so damn hard on for I don't know, how many years?

What, three years, maybe four? I mean, this is a long story.

Yeah. And I'll tell you what, the past six months, like coordinating the team, coordinating the launch, everything that we've put into it, honestly, to everybody listening, it is way tougher, way sweatier, way more intentional than you get to see on the outside looking in. And so if you have dreams of writing a book, this is gonna be the podcast for you. If you have dreams of just getting your word out there, no matter what your message might be, this is gonna be the podcast for you. Or if you just wanna be inspired. So this is going to be the podcast for you. So, Laurie, I have to start with the most obvious question, the one you might be sick of answering at this point because you have been on a serious podcast tour up to this point, but why did you write it?

You're right. No, I'm just kidding. I'm totally joking. I'm actually loving that part of putting the book into the world is talking to all of these amazing people. Then I was honestly super excited just to be on your podcast. And I know that we're using this for my podcast too. So. Hello, everyone. I'm so excited that you're here. This is my earn your happy podcast. And for the love and money podcast. How cool, all these podcasts together. Why did I write this book? Oh, wow, that is such a loaded question. I think that we always know that we have something on our heart or some message that we want to share with people. And I think that what we don't share will slowly start consuming us if we don't do it. And I can tell you that this message was definitely put on my heart to share because it did start to keep me up at night. I didn't even know what it was. I just knew that I needed to share something and I started writing. But as I started writing, it really manifested into totally different versions of this book. And to be honest, this particular book did not even come about until I got the book deal. So this book that is in everybody's hands right now, basically this week is release date. So the book that's in everyone's hands now is a book that was written in about six or seven months.

So you wrote a book in six or seven months. It's epic. And I'm not saying that as a subjective husband. If people know Me? Well, they know I'm saying that as an objective individual, matter of fact, to a fault, when we have arguments, when we have fights, just for those of you that watch us online or have been following us, it's usually because I'm objective to a fault. You know, I don't have that bone in me that says, oh, no, honey, this is really good, when it's really not right. So sometimes I'm a little too honest, a little too blunt, a little too straightforward. Matter of fact, those of you who really know Lori and I, you know, Lori's number one request of me is Chris, it's not the message, it's how you deliver the message. And so I would tell you or you guys would know, if I didn't think it was an extraordinary book. And it is epic. I mean, truly moving. Every single human being that grabs this thing, their life is going to change. Now, here's why I set it up that way. It ended up being a home run. But you were homeschooled. Education was not a priority for your family. Growing up, you've had a lot of fears that you've been very open about publicly about feeling not smart enough, not worthy, not educated enough. So how in the hell did you write a book? And how did it turn out this good when that's your background?

Well, I think what we think about needing to be something in order to get your message out into the world. And whether it's that or you're not, you know, you don't feel smart enough, or whether you were homeschooled like me, or maybe you didn't have the college education you wanted, or maybe you're just massive perfectionist that never feels good enough, whatever that message is. I would say that, you know, the thing about getting out into the world, the only difference between me and the people who have not yet put their message out in the world is that I know that it is the journey that you are supposed to feel uncomfortable, that you're supposed to feel pain, that you are supposed to fail your way there. And I think that I've been really keenly aware of that just because of my upbring upbringing, that you're not going to get to where you want to go without trying and failing. And I think that because I was so willing to try so much so often because of my background and fail so often, that I also learned at a really accelerated rate. I didn't just sit in my, you know, on my programs or sit in the book and try to perfect it to death. What I did was I just would, you know, do round one and submit it to a writing coach. And she'd say, you need work here, here, and here. Resubmit again. She wasn't telling me what to write. She wasn't telling me what to do. She was telling me how to get better. So I was just relentless in my effort of wanting to get this message out there. And the message really changed as I went along, as my life started to change. And that's really where the tribe idea came from, was this idea that, you know, I was doing this all alone because I was homeschooled through high school because, you know, when I first moved out, I had no friends because I told myself the story that I was better off alone because I was, you know, bullied because of my weight in religion in school. So I really started telling myself that. I also found that the more and more that I did, the more events that I went to, the more programs I enrolled in, you know, I was doing all. All of these things fairly alone. Yes, you're with people at events, but I didn't really know how to make connections. I'd always leave and I'd feel so lonely and I'd feel so isolated and I'd go home and maybe I'd get somewhere, but it was like, it wouldn't really stick. And I was like, man, I really thought that this endeavor of reaching your dreams and your goals was supposed to be fun. And I'm like, I feel like I'm almost more isolated and miserable than before. But you get to this weird point where you're in the middle of the road and. And you can't go back to the way you were because, you know, you're not. You just can't. Like, you'll be betraying your soul, but you also don't want to go further anymore if it's going to be this fricking lonely and hard and, you know, terrible, basically doing it all alone, and you hit a glass ceiling, you run out of resources, you run out of willpower, and you run out of energy. And this is when I thought, you know what? I want to find real friends. I'd gone to an event, and I remember it was like one of our first mastermind things that we had done. And there were all of these women connecting at the end of it, and they were, like, hugging each other goodbye and they were so sad to leave each other. And I was like, why is nobody coming up to me and hugging me? Why is nobody sad to say goodbye to me, like. And why do I not feel sad to leave these women? And I thought, okay, well, you never once put yourself in one vulnerable situation during this whole mastermind. You never told them how you're actually feeling. You never even opened up. Like, I showed up in the same position I had been showing up in. And that was I really needed to get my validation from feeling like I could help people. So what I was doing was only showing up as, oh, how can I help you? And then wondering why I would avoid relationships because I would feel drained. Well, I was never opening up enough to allow them to help me either.

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Wow. So good. So is this book meant for introverts that don't know how to build tribe? Is this book made for people? I keep finding the wrong friendships. Like, who is the book for? For?

You know, I've been asked this question at almost every single interview and. And I can't narrow it down to just one person because honestly, this book is for anyone that is in a relationship of any sort. So it's not only to help you build your tribe because there's a whole section on that, like you're getting a good three chapters designated just for that. But even if you already have a tribe, you're getting chapters designated to going deeper within that tribe. And also if you already have a tribe but you want another one, let's say you want a business one, or let's say you want a fitness one, or let's say you have those two, but you want one that's more personal and you just want that inner circle that you are like ride or die 80, 80 years old on rocking chairs, laughing about your life. Like, that's who this book is for is the people who want to really take their relationships to the next level or learn to have the relationships that they want. But the thing is, is that even section two in section three of this book, there's something called the seven sacred agreements in section two. And then section three is all about how to be the most authentic version of you to become a magnet to reach your highest potential in life. And you know that obviously attracts your tribe in. But those two sections, which is majority of the book, are mainly about you becoming the person who attracts this tribe and who can support being in these relationships. Because if you are not the type of person of person who could you Know, sustain the relationships that you want. If you're not that person yet, this won't work at all. Like, you having the relationships you want will not work at all. So it's really a book that is taking a serious look at where you're at right now. Maybe what you're taking personal, maybe if you have high expectations, maybe if you can't forgive yourself from a past relationship, it looks at what you're carrying with you. What do you want? What do you want out of a relationship? Maybe what's blocked you before. I mean, it is, honestly. And it's definitely not just like a teach teach. It is like, from the standpoint of here is my story, can you find yourself in this story, or can you find yourself in a similar story? And then we really look at your life, you know, you can look at your life while you're reading it in parallel to reading it and see what it is that you can work through. So there's also tangible tools. These are all the tools that I've ever done to get to where I'm at. Like, you know this, Chris. Like, I. I use tools every day. I use them every morning. I say it out loud like, oh, I'm not feeling good. I gotta get my meditation. Or oh, man, I'm really like, can I just share with you what I'm projecting onto this woman? Like, I'm feeling really jealous and I want to clear this. So I use. I teach all of that and I use all these tools in this book.

A few seconds ago, you said, I tell my stories. And we got to this point in the conversation because I said, talk to us about your fears that you're not smart enough, that you're not worthy, that you weren't educated enough to write a book. Now I want to kind of piggyback off of the fact where you said, I tell my story or several stories. You have stories in here about your family. You have stories in here about past old friends. You have stories in here about yourself that were really intimate that you have never, ever told anybody in 30 some years. I won't finish the other part of the 30 something. How did you get yourself into position to tell these stories that I know you were deathly afraid to tell?

Oh, I think there's three things to that. I'm still sweating about it because release date is like this week. It's now, it's here. And honestly, you know, you were with me two weeks ago when I had to have one of the toughest conversations of my life with my mom. Like, because I had told some people about some of these stories, but I was still so fearful and ashamed of certain things that I didn't tell her. And it was just like things, you know, the reason why I told them in the book is because I had to clear them. You know, some things we can clear on our own, some things do not need public attention and a lot of you don't need to do what I did. But for me, I absolutely know at this point in my journey, I was put on the earth to share my story. So other people could say, wait, that happened to her too. That means I could do this too. I could step into my dream, I could step into my calling. I could stop being afraid, I could expand myself. I could really live a life that feels more free, that feels totally free to be honest with you, because you'll have the tools to do that. But for me, it was definitely a calling. Did I know it was a calling before? No. But, you know, year by year goes by and you do all this work and there's this, there's like this peeling back of all of these layers. And honestly, when I was writing the book, it was like I started writing these chapters, I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna write a self development book. And then I got this download that it was like, no, you're gonna have radical truth telling sessions that are going to give people permission to let go of their shame and their guilt and their pain and their stories. And that is how you're going to move people through in this book. And that was just, that was it for me. Like, once I got that message that what I thought I was going to do was not. Was not it. It wasn't. It would be a waste of my time and people wouldn't resonate deeply. I know that everybody has this stuff and we're all just walking around as the people that we think think we should be instead of the people that we are. And that's why we're not attracting the tribe that we want, because we're all attracting a bunch of shoulds and we're not actually attracting the people who are really trying to live authentically. I'm not saying they're bad people. I'm saying if you feel like you are not fully connecting, it's because you may be attracting the same type of people that you are person that you're showing up as right now. If you want more, you've got to learn how to show up more unapologetically.

You so look at all of the fears that we have talked about you overcoming in the first 10, 15 minutes, whatever we've been talking. The fear of not being good enough, the fear of not being smart enough, the fear of your background, the fear of stories you haven't told, the fear of hurting other people and stories that you're telling. I mean, fear after fear after fear. Most people would stop in their tracks. You didn't. You kept going. And I know that your tribe had something to do with it. Could you have written this book had you not mastered tribe and assembled the right tribe? And who are some of the people in your tribe that really got you through the sticky moments? Not counting me, because I don't want this to be, oh, well, you, honey. Like, I want real people in your tribe that pulled you through.

Well, there were a lot of times with you, obviously, but at the same time, I. For real, it was the women that I wrote about in this book. I could I have written this book. It would have been another four years for sure. Honestly, it would have been another four years and it wouldn't have been this book. And I would have missed out on the time. The time for this book. Because what I want to say is tribe is so important because it helps you move the message through in a timely manner. And when I say timely manner, I don't want you to freak out and be like, ah, my, you know, my dreams have a expiration date. But yeah, they actually do. It doesn't mean that you're not going to get a different dream. But here's the deal. Like, I don't think this book would be, like, as great as it's going to be if I put it out in five years. I think many other people would cover this topic many, many times because I truly believe that there is a manner in which we are receiving all of our information. And it's kind of. We're all kind of rece the same messages around the same time. And I think you need to jump on those messages. And it's not that, oh, my gosh, you have this idea and it's just this one idea. You have to know that if you're a human being and you have an idea, you also have a million other ideas. And I really also believe that tribe opens that up. So what I'm saying is your tribe is going to move you a lot faster. Your tribe takes you from transition to transcending in a much more fun and accelerated way. So for me, the women who really helped me, there's so many. There are so many. I mean, I can't even name all of them, but I'm just gonna talk about the two that I actually based this the way the book is written around. And so every other Thursday for the past four years, Danette May and Lindsay Sikornick have met for one hour in the morning. And what that.

With you?

With me? Yep. You can't. My mind. I wonder how many podcasts you haven't been here for that. I just. They fill in the blanks. It's all good. They get me, you guys, just get me. It's fine. So every other morning for. Or I'm sorry, every other week for one hour. So you guys, that's not a lot. Like, think about it. And I have to tell you, so when people, when people think about this, they're like, oh, that's not bad. But I, I'm going to tell you, you're going to run into a wall when you do that. This. Because what happens is every single time beforehand, I'm like drinking my last little sip of coffee because it's early in the morning and I'm like, oh, I should be doing this, or I could be reading or I could be doing that. And I feel so much resistance because I feel very, you know, like I'm, I'm pretty naturally introverted, like, especially in the morning. And I'm like, no, you know that this is going to, like, this is always the best thing for you, even when you don't feel like it is. And of course, I'm five minutes in and I'm like, oh, my God, what would I do without these women? So I want to tell you why this is so powerful. So what happens is, you know, women need to process verbally. Majority of women all process verbally. And if we don't have this place to be processing how we feel, often a lot of times we're shoving it down, we're getting really anxious or we're getting really upset, or we're not having the right words. And we're more reacting acting than responding in our life. So if you were to process Even once every two weeks, you know, we only do 20 minutes per person, and I can't tell you what we can cover in 20 minutes. Imagine talking for 20 minutes about anything that you wanted with people and then getting people to weigh in on. In on how you're feeling as well. And the reason why this tribe is so huge is not only to be able to process and for people to say, you know, know, I've been there before, or, me too, or oh, my gosh I so feel you. What, you know, how can we. How can we serve you this week? How can we help you? But also in this group and how this book is set up, we set up this tribe. And you will, too, if you decide to actually do this book with a tribe or create a tribe, which you don't have to. But I think after you read it, you're going to be really tempted to really do what I've done here, and I'm ready to just watch people accelerate, like, to the nth degree. But. But what happens is when you commit to a tribe like this, you'll see that you're committing to agreements on how to treat each other, on how to show up for each other. You'll set boundaries, you'll set expectations, you'll set a lot of your own. You'll be able to voice how you feel. And if something's, you know, coming infringing too much into your life or taking too much time, like, you'll be free to have these conversations. I even have scripts around it. So it's opening up this new dialogue between women that we don't normally have. Normally we take things personal or we on people or we don't show up or they don't show up. And. And it's just like we keep on adding to these ancient pains and this ancient hurt of, I don't like women. Women hurt me. I can't trust women. And it completely changes this dialogue. But also, in this group, you are committing to take on their goals as your goals. So what happened for me is I would come into the group and say, you know, this is where I'm at. Like, you know, we have. I have this book coming out, or I really. Or not even coming out. I'm. I want to write this book. I really need a literary agent. Do you guys have any ideas or resources? And it's normally like, okay, let me look, let me reach out to some people. Let's find out. So, you know, in two weeks, all of a sudden, you've got all these great resources because they treated their goal as their own or they did research with you. And you also know that in two weeks, they know your goal, so you want to show up with it. So, you guys, I'm not. I'm not going to lie. Like, there's some intense parts where you put your goal out there and you're like, dang, they're going to hold me to it. And of course they understand if you don't reach it in a certain, you know, time or Whatever that looks like. But when that happens, if you go and you're like, wow, you're, you know, I just want to, I want to help you because you're not reaching this goal that you said that you want to reach. So what's the block? Let's work on that. Because I don't really know if it's this goal. Like, let's talk about the block behind the goal. So you have to know that this is a place not only to reach your goals. You know, you can do it as business as you want, you can do it as, as lifestyle as you want. But what happens is you take more risks. You take way more risks. Because no matter what happens out in the world, whether people totally tear you apart for something on social media or for a program that you launched or whatever that looks like, you have this soft place to land. You have these women in your life or these people in your life who are, who remind you of why you're doing the work you do and why it's important that you. That you do it in the way that you do. Then why it's important that you forgive quickly and get back out there. And how everything is a beautiful lesson for us. And it's all the love and it's all the support you need. So your comeback rate just gets so much faster. You know, I have to tell you, like, things that would take me months sometimes to get over or weeks if someone hurt me online or said something to me or if I failed at something, now can take me like a day or sometimes an hour or less.

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So if I know something big is coming up, let's just is coming up, let's say I have a phone call and it's a really huge opportunity and if it's a no, I'm gonna be in a lot of pain, right? And if it's a yes, I'm gonna be super happy. Either way, I am booking some time right after with these women in this tribe because this is what we do for each other. I'm like, hey, I have this appointment. Is anybody free to talk or at least text me if you're in something or busy right after this appointment so that I can just process or we can celebrate either one. And they're like, yes, okay, I have it on the calendar. So, you know, for me in particular, when I got totally rejected and told that my book was terrible and or not my book, they hadn't read my book, but the idea for my book was terrible and that I was, you know, so basic and that I was just average and that I didn't stand out and that I didn't have enough followers because they only wanted to work with people with millions of followers. So when I was told that I had the phone call right after and I cried and I cried and I cried and it only lasted about 10 minutes and they helped me come back and they were like, okay, like now let's talk about why you got to get back up again. Okay, you got to get back out there and literally like in an hour, you guys, where normally that would have been weeks for me, I maybe would not have ever tried again, this book would not be coming out if it weren't for my tribe.

So people are listening to this and half of them are like, woohoo, tribe, I'm going to get one. The other half, let's be very honest about human behavior, they're having that pity party. They're saying, well, it's easy for you to do this. You had your tribe, it's easy for you to do this. You had your Girls, it's easy. Talk to those people because I know they're not excuse makers. I know that they are good people with good intentions, but they're stuck in these stories. So talk to them. Will this book help them find that tribe? Help them learn how to execute these relationships? Is this book the answer to those people?

Yes, this. So. And I feel you.

I.

So I had the same exact stories, and we have the stories because it's self preservation and it's self preservation from years and years and years and years and years of pain. So I feel you. I see you. I get you. I did not have a tribe. The. The women that I wrote about in this book, literally, I met one online and I did not know the other one at all. Our very first call was the first time I was ever introduced to her. I didn't even know her last name. So Danette had met her once or she met her in Costa Rica at a juice bar when she was visiting Costa Rica. And she just liked her. And she was like. And Danette and I had connected online and she had said that she was looking for a mastermind, and I was looking for a mastermind at the time, but I didn't really know. I thought I had to to join one. And we were like, oh, well, why don't we just start one? And she was like, we should get a third person. I said, okay, awesome. I. I'm not sure who that'll be. Like, what kind of person do you want? And she's like, well, I met this woman at a juice bar really liked in Costa Rica. I was like, okay, so for me, like, these were even women, you know, they both had kids. Like, Lindsay had four kids, Danette had two kids. And I was like, these wouldn't necessarily be women I would think that I would be best friends with. But now we are. You know, I can say that we are even. It's. There's not even a word for it. It's more than that. It's just like, I will do anything for them. And also we have tough conversations. Like, really tough conversations. But anyway, as far as tribe, I didn't really, you know, I had a lot of friends, I had a lot of acquaintances. And don't get me wrong, I had a couple really incredible girlfriends who were not near me, but we didn't, because we're both me and these other women. Because the women that I tend to attract were all a little bit introverted as well. We don't text, we don't phone call, but when we see each Other. I did have those type of women that I could just drop in with a couple times a year. But for the other 362 days of the year, I'm, like, really not seeing these people. So, you know, it was really important for me to start to feel connected because I was starting to feel really empty. I mean, yes, I have this incredible marriage. I. I have this incredible life, but I. I know that women, especially now, reading all of the studies and some of the studies I put in the book, after doing all the research, women are actually wired to be with other women. Our bodies, when we're together, release oxytocin, and that lowers, you know, your stress level. It helps with disease. Like, there's studies that are actually proving now that our female relationships and just our relationships in general are actually helping us live longer and happier and helping protect us against disease. So go get around some sisters, ladies. Like, go to a yoga class or something and make some friends.

So here's something that I don't think people are talking about related to this book, and it's really important. How has this tribe, this mastermind that you teach in this book, this way of finding friendships and cultivating them and turning to them in your greatest moments and need, how has this affected our relationship for you? I know I've got my answer.

Well, I'll share mine and you can share yours.

Yeah.

So I would say it has. Oh, man. It's how it's helped us in the aspect that you can show up to offer me what you're here to offer me. Like, you can show up fully. You. I don't have these crazy expectations on you to fulfill all of my needs and for you to just kind of shut down because I have too high of expectations. Because I even found in the past when I had those high expectations of you, like, the first thing when. When, you know, we're kind of attacking our partner, as in, like, well, why don't you do this? Or, why can't we do this? Or, you know, I want to analyze this, and you never want to talk about this. You shut down. And that's where the disconnect begins. And it's like more and more and more disconnect. And I think what I. What I have really seen evolve in our relationship and happen is that you can show you and I can know now where we really love to connect and how we love to connect and what we love to connect over. Where before, it's like, if I have a. If I have to process everything with you, well, pretty much Every single walk of ours would be to process instead of, yeah, let me. Let me ask about your day and let me ask about, you know, what's going on in your life and what's exciting for you and how can I really be there for you and be excited about what you're doing and. And, you know, the expectation also, even this goes both ways with guys. So I love that you have all these amazing guy friends now that you can go and talk about the packers and cars, so I don't have to listen to it as much like, that's awesome.

That's my answer, too. It's similar to yours. And that is, you know, I can't be all things to you, and I can't be the person you turn to every second for every type of need you're ever gonna have. Right. There's some things you should just process through with friends instead of processing through with me. And as much as I love you and as close as we are, there is such a thing as too much when you turn to just one person for everything. And so over the past four years, you having this mastermind that you write about that you teach in here, you having this tribe has made our relationship exponentially better, exponentially deeper. Because now the moments we spend together are spent on more exciting things, more positive things, on dreaming, on just loving each other. Now, don't get me wrong, we still have our serious talks. I'm still here for you when you have problems, you know, and vice versa. But you now have taken so many things that you would talk to me about in the past, and you've shifted toward turning to your tribe, to this mastermind that you teach, and it has made our relationship that much richer. And, you know, and so people probably don't think about that when they think about picking up this book. This book is literally going to help you in your romantic relationships with your significant others because it's going to show you how to go and download with other people instead of just your partner.

And you allow the people to show up as the. You know, I write an analogy in the book about kind of, you know, the leading roles in your life. And then you have the. All of the supporting cast and you allow the leading role to shine instead of expecting your leading role to play all of your supporting cast roles. Like, that would be a horrible movie. You need all of those extras in order to make a really rich movie. It's like, you know, I'm not gonna go and ask you. Well, I have asked you that this. But to have Like a full moon ceremony with me.

And the answer is no. Go find your tribe.

You would. But, but just stuff like that. Like, I know who to go to if I want to really analyze things and if I want to, you know, maybe talk about things that you're totally not interested or in, just, I don't know, like, I know where to go now and I didn't know before and it's not that I. Let's just clear that up. Like, it's not that I can't talk to you about those things. It's just if I want to analyze them and really dig deep into them and things like that, I'm probably not going to expect. Like, I don't need that agreement back or that connection through it back. And I think that's where the disconnect is, is when we're using someone for everything and we rely on them for everything, we don't just want to tell them about it. We want to feel a mutual interest. So that's where the disconnect is in relationships. It's like if I were to tell you about that and didn't feel that you were interested, I would take it as you're not interested in me. And that, I mean, that just goes down a whole other rabbit hole, which is don't take it personal.

Here's the bottom line. Every other Thursday, when you get off those mastermind calls, you skip down the hallway. And our Thursday mornings are extraordinary because you're happy and you've got great energy and sometimes you've gone into the dungeon one way and come out a totally different way. Right? Like on top of the world. And so I'm so happy that you have this in your life and I'm really excited for everyone else who's going to read this book and get it in their life because once you put this tribe together and follow the rules that you teach in here, it is going to up level everybody involved in an exponential way. I'm really excited about that. Now, obviously my podcast is called for the Love of Money. We talk about money and generosity and, you know, being unapologetic about earning and all these things because when good people make good money, they do great things for the world. And obviously you and I are very philanthropy driven. But let's talk about our finances for a minute. It what has, what effect on our finances, on your earning power has this tribe had?

There aren't even enough things to say about how it's affected that right down to. And I'll just, I'll go to the case of how the it comes full circle overall, then we'll get a little bit more granular. But I mean, even, you know, you and me and Danette and Craig, who is Danette's husband, and, you know, Lindsay and her husband Chris also go on some different trips with us. But it seems like whenever we're together, like, we get these incredible opportunities to help give back or we get these ideas of how we can give back. So not only has it because we'll just start. You talked about philanthropy. We'll just. We'll talk there first about, you know, what happens is not only have I made so much more money because of this tribe, because of all of the different ideas and help with program launches and resources and belief and love and exponential, like, connection and the tribe that they bring in and our tribes all mix and we work together and we do events and their tribe comes and my tribe comes, and it's just so powerful when women. Well, when humans work together. So not only that, but when we're together, it's like something else happens. There's this whole other layer of what would be a really fun way to give back. And then we start thinking of all these incredible ideas and we're like, you know, I've always wanted to go on this trip here and we should relate it to philanthropy and we should stop and, you know, build schools or we should do this or we should, you know, associate our programs that we're launching with this and be able to give back. Or when you do your event, make, let's all make sure it has this giving back component. Like, it's just these incredible ideas of not only how to make more money, but how to make more money and give back, how to make more money and have experiences, how to make more money to teach people how to make more money. Because like Chris said, when good people make good money, they do great things. And it's the truth. And you deserve to have experiences. You deserve to be happy. You are here to follow your joy, and you're here to follow your bliss. Now, bliss does not always mean bliss. Bliss with bliss. See, I believe that you have to have the light or you have to have the darkness in order to have the light. But the bliss is the following of the bliss. It's all of it. It's the highs, it's the lows. It's understanding that the lows always give you a lesson. They always are teaching you something so that you can get back to your bliss again, but in an even more rich, blissful way. So every time you go low, you can always ask, why am I here? And. And of course, it's never fun. I'm not saying it's fun. It's horrendous. I'd rather not be in it. But the faster that I can accept it and learn from it, the faster I can get back into bliss in an even more expansive, beautiful way. And that is what my tribe does, not only in my life but financially because to me it's all the same. It's all energy.

So straightforward question, can people make more money and be better off financially if they create a tribe like you did in this book?

Of course. I mean, that is a no brainer. It's an absolute no brainer because you are adding resources to your life if you're all committing to each other's goals. So let's say, let's say your two other tribe sisters are going to an event that you can't make it to. And maybe it's about building a business or making money or maybe it's about. About giving back or a program or whatever you want to do. When they get back, you get downloaded on what the best takeaways were on how they're going to implement that in their life, on what they're doing in their program. If that's what you want, if that's what you want to spend that next time with. And that's so much of what we do in ours. That's so much of, you know, and this is just one tribe. Chris and I now have like, I don't know, 10 tribes, 20 tribes. So we know we have this business tribe where we're just going to download on business. I know that I have this girl tribe where even though it's just like we're fully soulful, we always turn it into business because let's face it, it's all the same. Because when you become fully soulful, expansive, and you become your authentic self, you now need to take this beautiful version of you and take everything that you've learned on how to get there and give it back. And you need to be supported financially in order to do that. So you need to be paid to share these beautiful gifts that you have. So it's all about supporting the message. And money does that. That. So yes, your tribe, absolutely. And this is just a couple of the ways it pays you back. I can't even tell you because, you know, I show up a more fulfilled, happy person in my marriage, which also is reflected in my business. I show up a happy, fulfilled person in my life, in my programs. It's it, it changes everything. It is everything. Our connections. And they are now showing it. People in the blue zones who are living the longest. The centurions. Is that what they're called? They are. The reason that they're finding is not only because, you know of maybe where they are in the food, but it's also they are so communal. They feel so connected to their tribe and supported. And you'll see the studies in the book, it's the same exact thing. The people who are living the longest, happiest, healthiest lives, they all say that they feel connected and supported in their community or the communities that they have built.

So let's start to put a bow on this thing. What are you most excited about now that the book is coming out in a few days? Like we're already getting Instagram pictures, all that stuff that it's on bookshelves, which is a few days premature yet. How awesome. What are you most excited about?

For people to feel like they have a real way. And I'm not saying they didn't have a real way before, but I did self development till I was blue in the face and things were not, you know, some things would stick for me, but the really tough stuff, where I was really afraid, where I had a lot of fear, where I had a lot of I'm not enough around it, I could not have done that without a group of people helping me, reminding me, me helping them. Because you get so much value from when you can show up and help people as well. And when you just feel feel safe, it's like when you feel safe and when you have a safe place to land, you are free to go and fly. And that's what this has done for me. And I'm so excited for, for this to happen for you because to me now I feel invincible. I mean, do I feel like I can do everything right now and that I'm not fair scared? Of course not. But I also know that I am always capable of what I dream and think and it's just a matter of time. And that is so powerful to me. I mean, I've taken on the scariest stuff that I would have never said yes to if I did not have these people to pull me through. And you know, I'll tell you as you, as you all read the book, I just pray that you find yourself in it. And I know that you will find yourself in it and that you'll have the tools to move through. So I really do think it is the next phase of support for self development and self love. I think it's the next phase of self love is having a tribe.

Your entire message is we need tribe to get everything that we desire right. Well, you've got tens and tens and tens and tens and tens of thousands of people listening to this episode. What is your big ask of your large tribe?

My big ask would be to purchase the book. And purchase the book for yourself, purchase it for your tribe. And what would mean the most to me is to share. If. If this book shifts your life. If you love this book, please, when you get it, take a picture, upload it, put it on Instagram, put it on your stories, share what you love, share quotes that you love. You know, send out your invites to all of your tribe, get them to read this book, because it is going to change your entire life. But it would mean the world if you would share the book. And of course, you know, if and when you guys are an author, because I pray that all the people who will be an author will read this and then start to write a book. You will know that reviews and ratings are the world to a book. And purchasing the book is also means the world. Like it tells, it tells the publisher if they're gonna order more books on the next round. And it's just a huge, huge, huge, huge thing for an author to support an author. So for me, I'm all about women supporting women. I actually make it almost a daily task now to look at who I'm following, who I re who has really made an impact in my life and go support them somehow. So on my list almost daily has been to rate and review a podcast or a book or to buy a book. Like, I just bought two books this morning from a friend that I knew was putting a book out. So if we all supported each other. And the reason why I'm saying this is because I want you to know what real support looks like. It's not just a text message, right? Like, that's super nice and it is beautiful, but if it's just once, it's like, okay, that was great. But if you really want support from your sisters, you'll go and ask them, how can I support you? Like, what would mean the most to you right now? And I'm really trying to show this openly and vulnerably right now because it's what I do. So it's also how I would love to be supported, is for you to get this book, read it, change your life, change your finances and share the Book. It is my heart and my soul and it is scaring the out of me to put it out into the world. So I pray that you love it. And I'm just so, so, so grateful that all of you are purchasing and you're so excited about tribe because I know that it is an ancient, ancient desire for us to be together and to be tribal and you'll really understand what I mean by a tribe. When you read this book, don't freak out. It's not gonna exhaust you. You don't have to have 20 new women in your circle. You'll see what I mean and it's going to be powerful.

I love it. So buy a book, share the book, gift another book and write a review for the book. Those four things would light your world up.

Yes. I mean, well, that would be the perfect scenario.

I love it. I'm so grateful to everybody who shows up so big for you. You know, obviously I get to see you and cheer you on every single day, but when I see other people do it, that's just, that's the stuff that is like, you know, an arrow in the heart, like really gets me. It's just, it makes me tear up. So we have a gift for everybody else who is buying books right now. Originally you did this really cool online training around the Seven Sacred Agreements and you teach about them in the book, but then you really expand on them in this special online training related to the book. Well, well, we were going to take that down on May 8th because it was only for people who pre ordered the book, then went to atribe called bliss.com and uploaded their receipt. They got access to this Seven Sacred Agreements training, but we decided we're going to leave it up for a few more days, didn't we? Because we're excited about everyone purchasing. So whenever you hear this podcast, we are leaving that special training for the Seven Sacred Agreements and how to really lock them in. We're leaving that up on the site, a tribe called bliss.com. all you have to do is upload a screenshot of your receipt, buy it from Amazon, Barnes and Noble Books, a million, buy it in person, buy it online, doesn't matter. Screenshot your receipt, upload it at a tribe called bliss.com. all you have to do is go there, scroll down the instructions. Are there three easy instructions and you will get access to that special training, the Seven Sacred Agreements.

Yes. You guys, I'm so grateful and truly that workshop, you will absolutely love it. And I'm just beyond grateful for everybody who has supported me, supported this book, and now just seeing the tribes happen and come through. My goal is to have 1 million tribes around the world because I believe when that happens, we will all be stepping into what we love. We will be sharing what we love. And we will no longer have trouble getting our programs out, supporting each other's books and really shifting the world into a more supportive, loving, non judgmental, non comparison place. And the only way we're gonna do that, ladies, is together.

Well, let me wrap this up by saying this. And I feel like this is my biggest platform, my chance to tell the world, and that is. Babe, I am so proud of you. I have seen you try and work so hard on so many things and have so many successes, but this is kind of the pinnacle of them all. And as I read the book, you know, I laughed and I cried and I beamed with pride. It's such a good, good book and I am so, so proud of you. And all I have to say is, great job and I love you.

Thank you. I couldn't have done it without you.

All right, everybody. A tribe called bliss.com youm can find it in every single bookstore as of May 8th. You can pre order it online. They're already shipping out, so you order today, it gets there in a day or two. Remember, the best thing you could possibly do is buy a book, review the book, upload the book, and share a copy of the book for somebody else. We are so grateful for all of you, our tribe. Thank you for listening and please always let us know how we can serve you.

Thank you.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye. Bye.