238: Why You Have to Give Yourself Permission

Foreign. Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. And it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And I am having so much fun watching all of you upload your books. Read the book. I can't even believe it's out. It's a really surreal, weird thing because I've worked on it for so long and talked about it for so long that now when I see it in your hands, I'm like, oh my God, like they're, they're going on this journey with me. It's so crazy. And you know, I have to tell you that the biggest thing that I'm hearing from the book, because I'm really asking, I want to know your feedback. I want to know if you are sharing the same experience as either I've had or I'm having in my life. And also if this is really helping you break through in your relationships. I'm watching all sorts of tribes forming and the thing that I'm hearing the most right now about the book and you guys, if you don't know, I have a book out called A Tribe called Bliss that just came out. So you can go to a tribe called bliss.com and you can either order the book because we are starting a massive book club, or you can also join me on tour because I have Boston, Toronto and Minneapolis, which still has tickets. New York is totally sold out at this point. So I'm hearing that what the book is doing the most is giving you permission to be fully you. Is giving you permission to do that thing you want to do and do it messy. Is giving you permission to have the conversations that you need to have and not have them be perfect. Is giving you permission to forgive yourself, is giving you permission to move through and understand that life is equally as challenging as it is beautiful. And it's really giving meaning to all of your stories and Maybe the reasons why we've gone through a lot of the stories that we've gone through, right, or we've held a lot of the stories that we've had is giving you permission to let go of those old stories that are no longer serving you. So right now I'm gonna just give this a whirl and look for my where I would like to give myself some permission in life. So right along with me, I want you just to take a second and take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth and let's do that again. In through your nose and out through your mouth and really just look for any space in your body that is feeling tense, holding tension. Just see if you can totally relax it. Maybe you're running and maybe you could just relax, run with a little bit more ease, a little lighter, handing yourself over to the run. Maybe you're driving, maybe you could just relax your shoulders. Maybe you could just let go of whatever it is you're holding onto. Maybe you're walking, maybe you're in the gym. Maybe you could just see where you're holding that tension and send it a little bit of love and really ask that space in your body that's holding that tension. Where could I give myself permission to just show up more me or to let something go or to let something be okay or to let something that maybe won't be completed be okay, that it's not going to be completed in the way that I want. Maybe something is not going to look that I the way that I want and that can be okay. And right now, today what's coming through for me is giving myself permission to not be on top of everything. That's been something that's been really huge with my schedule lately because adding a book tour to already running a couple businesses and just having completely scattered focus right now, not being able to focus on everything, giving everything attention and this book tour and this book taking all of my focus, things are definitely slipping through the cracks and I'm definitely having to say no a lot as well. So actually the two things that I'm going to give myself permission on is permission to not be on top of everything and let it be okay. If I'm late with some replies and if I'm not getting back to all of my social media that I would like to get back to if I'm not able to send love to everyone that I would like to send love to and knowing that now it's my journey to send myself love and let it be okay that I can't get back to everyone no matter what comes back, right? So that is that point of self acceptance and self forgiveness where if we don't have it and we don't have the grace, we'll never make it through. And so sending love, sending grace to yourself, right? Sending love and sending grace to yourself and just breathing, breathing into that and letting it be okay. Okay. Because we'll never be able to go to where we want to go without massive grace and love. So especially as I'm going out on the road, I have to understand that, you know, we have to give ourselves permission for just showing up. However we are going to show up in the world. So you guys, I want you to just look and scan in your life right now to where if you could just let go of something that you could start enjoying where you're at right now. Because honestly, if we can't start enjoying where we're at right now, we're never actually going to enjoy our life. Because the more that you go towards your dreams, the busier your schedule can actually get. So you might really wanna start practicing this right now. And also saying no. So I just wanna focus in on that. Focusing in on having to say no and create those boundaries. So you guys just like in the book, the Ch on fierce boundaries, I need to go back and read it asap because in order for me to get done and what I would like to get done and show up the way that I want to show up for everyone on this tour and also preserve myself and preserve my energy so that I. I do want to continue on with this type of work. I need to create massive boundaries. Because what's happening is the more that you get out there, the more that you get asked things and it's beaut. There are beautiful opportunities left and right, but. But if there is no space for what you really want to do, right, we can just be very distracted. So sometimes you have to continue saying no. And let me tell you, that's one of the hardest things that I do in my life is having to say no in a graceful way and letting people know you care, you love them, you love what they're doing, but it's just not a. It's just not a good time right now. So I am learning all sorts of ways to say no right now. And let me tell you in my heart, it's like I want to say yes and I want to connect. But when you need the space, and you guys all need the space right now, I have A feeling I'm talking to 99.9% of you right now when I'm saying that you need to say no more. You need to say no a lot more. And you're going to be so surprised at what frees up. And what I'm also finding is that I've been really tempted to tell people, you know, to circle back in a month. But in a month, if I had all these people circle back, I'm not going to have any time in the next month either. So learning to say a firm no is also very challenging. So that's something else that I'm working on as well in a graceful way. And once you say no, it's like that was the. You think that's the hard part is just saying no and learning how to say no. But that's not it. The hard part is what you say to yourself afterward, letting it be okay that you said no, still loving yourself and accepting yourself even though you may have hurt someone's feelings, even though the person you're saying no to may not understand because they don't actually understand your schedule. And saying no without explaining everything, because that's actually not an awesome thing either. And just standing firm in your no and knowing that it is giving you the time and space that you need. And also to love yourself after the no. Right? Love yourself after the no. That is the work. And that is the work I'm in. That is the work I will be in with you. I am walking by your side on this. We need space, ladies and gentlemen, I know there's some guys listening. We need space for the true authentic gifts to come through. If we're constantly in the busy, we may get a lot of good stuff, we may have a lot of good ideas, but we're never making room for the great. And let me tell you that the great takes up space. So let it come through by saying no.

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Okay guys, I'm so grateful for you today and every single day and I have a big ask that I have been asking lately and I hope it's teaching you to have some big asks as well and how to ask as well if this has given you any value. The podcast at any time, it would mean the world that if you either share the book, if you love it, share it on social media, share it with a friend, gift it to a friend, get the book, or write a review. Reviews are everything to an author. It helps get the book out there. So if I can tell you two things that mean a lot once you've written a book, it's to get the book, share the book, and to rate and review the book. And that means the world to an author because that's the only way it gets out there. I only have so much, you know, way, so many ways to get the book into different people's hands and I've actually reached that ceiling. So now it's all up to you guys to get it out to the people that I cannot reach. So if it's impacted you, if you believe that this is a movement that could change the way women treat each other, if you believe in my mission of 1 million tribes and how that could impact the world, if we understood these agreements and how to treat each other, then I ask that you share this book and you rate and write a review. So thank you guys so much. So grateful for you. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye bye.