247: Turning Negativity and Pain into Productivity and Purpose with Andy Frisella

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Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Hey everyone. Welcome back to the show and I might be even more excited than I've ever been for this next guest. And before I tell you who it is, I will say there is colorful language in this podcast that I have left due to emphasis. So if there are kiddos in the car, just make sure that you maybe listen to this another time or that you're aware or you put your headphones in. So I really, really loved our conversation. This human being was like such a beautiful walking contradiction for me. Have you ever had those moments where you just think something is one way and your mind is completely blown and it really makes you question all of your perceptions about someone or something in your world? So that's what this human did for me. But before we get started on that podcast, I wanna remind you that you can be a part of the biggest TR book club at a tribecallbliss.com on or you can go to A Tribe called Bliss on Facebook and you can join that absolutely totally free community to find all of your like minded friends, all of your like minded sisters there. And if you have not gotten the book yet, you can go to a tribe called list.com because this book is not only about creating deeper connections, but it's truly about creating a deeper connection with your yourself and reaching your highest potential. So let's get back to the guest. My incredible guest today that I feel so honored to have had an hour with is Andy Frisella. He is serving as CEO of one of the world's leading nutritional supplement companies, First Phorm International. He founded and ran five other businesses that collectively generate 200 million in annual revenue. Yes, did you hear that? It generates $200 million in annual revenue. Supplement Superstores, Alpine Sports Products, Carbon Fire Nutrition, Paradise Distribution and 447 Media. He's also the host of a business success oriented podcast, the MF CEO Project, which is a top 50 podcast in the world, not just in business, you guys, that gets millions of listeners every month. His podcast is number one recommended entrepreneur podcast, you guys. So he's become one of the highest paid keynote speakers in the world. I've gotten to see him speak a few times. I've actually shared the stage with him twice. I don't even know if he knows that. And he's even written a best selling series of children's books that promote entrepreneurial values and the success mindset. In addition, he's been recognized as one of the world's leading authorities on customer retention, loyalty and company culture, as well as marketing techniques it takes to build both brick and mortar and online direct to consumer retail businesses from the ground up. He was identified as entrepreneur of the year in 2016 and he's been featured in Forbes. And he says, yes, a little fat kid who grew up on a gravel road in Missouri was featured in forums in Forbes actually a few times. He says he was also featured in Inc. Entrepreneur magazine as well as many other honorable publications. So again, this conversation blew my mind.

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I, I laughed, I cried. I was so freaking inspired. Like, I was floating after this conversation. I wanted to go run through a wall. But again, you guys, colorful, colorful language. So enjoy every second of it. But if you have kiddos in the car or they're around, just be aware that you might want to listen and your headphones. So let's get started. Andy, I'm so excited to have you on the show. Thank you so much for coming on.

Oh, thank you. I'm glad. I'm glad and excited to be here. Really excited.

Like, honestly, I feel I just have to let everybody know that this is just such a massive honor because to even get an hour of someone like you to come and commit on this podcast, like, number one that says so much about you. And also, I just want to make sure that people know how important this is to just listen and hold on to every word that you're saying. So thank you. Thank you. And I just have to say, I was just telling you this before. I just got lost in Andy world and it was like, I mean, if I sound like very excited right now, it's because I feel like I could go, I don't know, like, I'm just ready to go pump up my team and start. I mean, this is perfect timing because I'm doing a book tour. So you just like poured into me just through your Instagram. How do you do that? How do you do that every day?

Andy, it's funny because I get asked that all the time. And the truth of the matter is, that's just who I am. It's how I operate. And people. People assume because I have so much enthusiasm that comes through with my podcast and what I do, you know, with my Instagram and things like that, they think that it's like a character that I create, but unless, like, when I leave the house in the morning and until I get home, that's how I operate my day, you know, I'm just a. I'm just a passionate, intense, enthusiastic person because I like what I do, and I like seeing other people succeed, and it gets me fired up, you know, and I just. I prefer to operate that way, you know, it's just. I don't know. I've always been that way. I don't really know where it came from, you know?

You know, you have the most insanely awesome mix of crazy, enthusiastic, energized, committed, intimidating, mixed with. So welcoming. It's almost a bit. I've never. I don't think I've ever seen it before. So. Something that I want to say is that when I was looking and just really studying you, I was like, oh, my God, I feel. I feel like I can relate to you actually so much, which is so crazy to think from the outside, thinking me as a female doing what I do, just more like, you know, spiritual. But I am so into business and. And getting people, like, their highest potential. But you're from the Midwest, so you're from Missouri. And you also, like, I almost died. It was so great. The quote on your website that says I was more committed to filling my stomach with Doritos than filling my day doing productive shit. And I loved that because I was a chubby kid who really never did. And, like, I never finished anything. And that was. I just thought it was impossible. So tell me all about that, because I just. I have to know the journey from Doritos to. To hear.

You know, the funny thing is, is I. I was like that my whole life, too. I never finished anything. I never saw things through. And still to this day, believe it or not, seeing things through is something that I oftentimes have to force myself to do. And one of the things I think that people. Which, you know, I say this all the time, but people think that I'm not. That I'm. That I'm lying. But the truth is, is that a lot of the messages that I put out, those are like, almost like internal pep talks that I'm talking to myself. So What I do is I, you know, I take the message that I'm thinking and I just verbalize it in a way that's for everybody, you know, and. And so. And I think that's why. I don't know, you know, why people relate to it, but I think that's why. I think it's because really what I'm doing is speaking the internal voice that we all have. You know, we all have, like, the two internal voices. We have the internal voice that tells us to, you know, that's good enough. You know, just relax. Don't be so hard on yourself. And then you have the other internal voice that's like, hey, you're being a fucking pussy. Like, you need to. You need. You need to, like, toughen up. You need to be. And I think, you know, I'm able to communicate that because I was a fat kid and because I was kid that was picked on my whole life, and because I was someone who struggled in school and, you know, the. I don't know where it kind of flipped over, but basically, yeah. I grew up in St. Louis, Missouri, right outside St. Louis, and I still live here. It's where we operate our business from. And I grew up middle class, you know, lower middle class. We lived on a gravel road, and, you know, it was nothing special. It was just me and my brother, we rode our BMX bikes up and down the road. And, you know, we were normal kids and played a lot of sports, did a lot of that. I was always interested in entrepreneurship, so I always was like, had this little hustle going where I was, you know, selling baseball cards or I was trying to sell lemonade or sell light bulbs door to door or all these different things. And so that side of it was kind of always in my blood, but I was always the person with a million ideas, but never do any of them, which I think a lot of people resonate. They're like, I could do this, I could do that, I could do this, I could do that. I don't know what to do. And I got myself in a situation when we started our first quote, unquote, real business, which we still have today, which was a sports nutrition retail store to where I didn't have any other options. You know, I wasn't. We started when we were 19. I didn't have any money. We financed basically the whole store on credit cards, and we had to live in the store. So I didn't have options other than to operate the business. And I really think that's where I started to Learn how to finish things is when I, when I put myself in a legitimate life position of no other option but to do it. And over time, I started training myself mentally to really think that way. And as we've grown, that was 18 years ago, 19 years ago now, and we've grown that into very strong nine figure brand. We're going to do over $200 million this year. And it's. When you start to have some success, it gets harder and harder to feel like you have to do things. And so I had to train myself to put myself in that position where my back was against the wall. I didn't have any other options. And now I call it and what I teach it, it's called zero option mentality. It's just something that you have to train yourself to do. And that's where I learned to finish things. So I guess bringing this whole question back around to the beginning is I sucked at finishing things and I sucked at, at pretty much everything in life until I didn't. And I just got, I got tired of being, I just got tired of being what I was. You know, I was fat, I was not finishing things, I was not committed to things. And I realized that, you know, if I lived like that, I, I thought about, like, hey, what am I going to be when I'm 40? What am I going to be when I'm 50? And I didn't like that vision, you know, and so all of those things kind of came together and, you know, and I started becoming, I started becoming, I started evolving, you know. And you know, people think that, people think that, like, people who are successful and they are financially successful and they've got everything seemingly going for them, they think that, they think you're born that way. And that's, that's not, you know, always the case. And most, most of the time it's not. And I, I feel like the reason that, that I've started to build a pretty decent brand in the personal development space is because, you know, I've lived all the shit that everybody goes through. You know, I wasn't born a high achiever. I was born the opposite of that. So it's been a process for me for sure.

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So what do you tell people? Because, oh, so you just gave, just. You said so many things there that I want to touch on because you said it wasn't until, you know, your back was against the wall and you had everything stripped of you. And I can so relate to that. I honestly didn't finish anything until, you know, my husband lost his job. I wasn't the main breadwinner. We lost our house, and we were $300,000 in debt in the Midwest, which, you know, is like, you know, 3 million. So. So it's like forcing you to be like, well, now what do I have? And yeah, it was, it wasn't even, you know, maybe I didn't go into what I wanted to be immediately. It was like what I knew I could at least take the first step on. And I think that taught me so much about. It's not always like building this dream scenario and following through. It's like, okay, well, what's the next step? So what do you, you know what I mean? Like, what. What could I do? What am I somewhat capable of right now? Even if I feel like a giant shit show in this moment, what am I somewhat okay with doing or like, okay at? So what do you tell people who have not been, you know, because I do believe that that was one of the biggest blessings I've ever gone through. It's like, I probably wouldn't be doing what I was doing now. So what do you tell people who maybe don't have that back against the wall moment? I know you talked about the mentality, but how can they really get there?

I. I encourage them to truly think about their life 10 to 15 years from now if they continue on the path that they're on. If you continue to do the same shit you do today that you're doing right now today, if you continue to do that for the next 10 years, where are you going to be? And likely you're going to be in the same spot. Because people tend to get comfortable, you know, living the same life. They're comfortable with the money they have, they're comfortable with the car they drive, they're comfortable with their wife or their husband or the restaurants they go to, and they stop evolving and stop growing. And it feels okay right now because you're able to survive and you're not maybe back against the wall, like what we're talking about. But the Problem is, even though it feels okay now, it's not going to feel okay 10 years from now. It's not going to feel okay 15 years from now. By the time you figure that out, it's too late. And so I encourage people to really spend some time thinking and visualizing what their life will literally look like if they continue on the path. You know, if you're 20 pounds overweight or 40 pounds overweight, what's that going to look like in 10 years? It's going to look like 150 pounds overweight. You know what I mean? And people. And this goes for finances, it goes for fitness, it goes for every area of your life. Comfort just doesn't produce many good things. I feel like trying to. It's hard to get people to see that. But if you're somebody who is a high achiever and you have the desire and you want that little extra kick in the ass to go do something, think about, and you're in that position where, like, I don't know if I should do this because if I do this, it's going to make me uncomfortable for right now and this and that. Maybe I'll just stay where I'm at. Well, okay. If you need a little extra kick in the ass to get out and do it, think about what your life's going to look like if you stay doing what you're doing. You're not going to be happy with it. So that's, you know, that's a hard thing for people to grasp. But unless you create that moment for yourself, you're going to have a very difficult time getting. Because creating progress takes a conscious effort to be uncomfortable. So you have to make a conscious decision to be uncomfortable right now so that you can basically grow to whatever it is that you want to grow to. And that's very hard for people because they look around at their situation, they look at their friends, they look at their family, say, you know what? I'm doing okay right now. I'm okay. But okay is not going to make you the money you want to make. It's not going to get you the life you want to live. It's not going to create what you were meant to create. So by sitting where you are and not taking that step back, you know, you have a situation where you got to take a step back and maybe you have to downsize your apartment or your house so that you can start this business or cash flow, whatever it is you're trying to do. People don't like taking that step backwards. And because they don't like taking that step backwards, that ultimately costs them all the potential they would have for the rest of their life. So it's very important to realize and try to visualize what you're sacrificing by staying where you are. You know what I mean?

I totally know. And so much about that, looking down the road, that is I. That is my biggest tool is even. Especially because, you know, when you start getting great things in your life and you're like, my life is pretty awesome, like, you have to find a new reason to be hungry. You have to find a new reason to keep going or something else that gives you fulfillment and purpose. And just good is the enemy of great. And it's kind of like no matter how great you think something is, you start to settle into, like, this, like, life is good. And it's about the evolution, like, the seeking of resistance. There's like this balanced energy of, like you said, you have to find that discomfort in order to continue to get comfort in your life. It's so crazy.

Yeah. I've learned that, you know, putting myself in, quote, unquote, painful situations or uncomfortable situations is what ultimately causes me to produce good things. So I truly try to. Mentally, I mean, I'm not irresponsible. Like, I don't spend all my money or do crazy shit to get my edge. I'd spend time, like, meditating and putting myself in that place, you know what I mean? And I don't really meditate like Buddha or anything. Like, I'm just. When I say meditating, I mean, like, thinking, you know, like reflecting, whatever people want to call it. But I try to. Try to really force myself into that mentality of like, hey, look, dude, if you don't do this, you know, you're not going to get this. And so I keep raising the bar, you know, Every, every, every, you know, I'm not good at celebrating victories. So, like, for me, like, I never fear, like, and this is. This is real shit. Like, I never feel like it's good enough, you know, and maybe, maybe that's insecurity that drives me. I don't know. But I never feel validated. Like, I always feel like I have more to prove. And I don't feel like I need to prove anything to anybody else. I think it's just to myself, you know? And so. So for me, you know, in my personal situation, I want to be the. Literally the best at what I do. Like, I take the best person or the best company and I look at them and I say, all right, I'm going to fucking beat them. And that's how I look at it. So. And I know not everybody does that. So for me, it's. It might be different, but I try to. I try to pick a target, man, and I try to win, and that's how I kind of think about it. But. But I don't know that. I don't know that everybody's gonna think like that, you know, And I think.

I honestly, the more and more that I talk to people and the more just self work that I do, I think there's so many different. And I love. You know what I love about you? You're just honest about it. You're like, this is what's driving me. This is the carrot. This is how I'm able to do what I do. This is how I motivate, and this is how I also make massive impact. And I don't think that there's necessarily any. Anything wrong with any of it. Anyone's anything if they ultimately, at the end of the day, are making impact and feel great and love what they're doing.

Like, yeah, like, I'm very driven, like, and this is not popular with people, but it's true, like, I'm very driven by what I call the dark side, okay? And the dark side is all the negativity. All the times that I got told that I was shit, all the times I got told that I wasn't gonna be able to do what I'm doing. All the, like, all the girlfriends that broke out me because I was a quote unquote loser working in my business, not making any money, you know, all the people that made fun of me when I was fat, like, all that shit, like I stored inside, and I turn it into productive action. And so whenever I start to feel lazy or I start to feel like I don't want to do something, I remember all that stuff and I get up and I go do it. And I'm just very. I'm just very driven by shoving shit down other people's fucking throats. And not everybody's like that. And that's fine, but that's. It works for me. And I think, like what you said, I think people have to find what drives them. And everybody has their own little drivers, you know what I mean? Some people it's. Some people, it's, I love everybody and I want to improve everybody's lives. Some people it's, you know, I fucking hate everybody. So I want to prove everybody wrong. Some people it's a Mix of that, you know, and it definitely is a mix of that for me, for sure. I love what I do. I love running our companies. All of our companies are based in sports, nutrition supplementation and health world. And there's not many industries where. And, you know, this, where you can literally have a conversation with someone and see them in 30 or 60 days, and they're a completely different person physically and emotionally. And that's amazing to me. I love that. I love doing what we do for that reason. I think that's a huge reason why we've been successful, because that's our ultimate goal. Our ultimate goal is to change lives. But I have the dark side, too, and so I use what's appropriate, when it's appropriate, you know?

You know? Well, this is one of the most exciting things, why I was so excited to have you on the podcast is I love. So I bring. I love bringing on people where it's just. It's like not the typical, you know, what they're used to hearing, like, yes, love this and more love and all this. And I. Because I do feel that way. But I also believe that there are different motivators for different seasons of our life, and there are different motivators for different people. And I think that we would be all. I think that we would actually be robbing ourselves of huge growth and learning potential if we sh people out. And while it may not be certain things, may not be for you, there's so many amazing things about everything that you're saying. And to be honest with you, I really. I can completely, actually resonate with what you're saying. Being really inspired by, you know, all of the things that have happened in my life. I was actually just asked. I was on a podcast. It was Tom Bilyeu's podcast. I was on it last week, and he was like, did you. Have you ever gotten any negative feedback around my original driver? Because my original driver was. I'd gotten made fun of for being overweight. I had this, like, big incident where people were bullying me, and all of a sudden my comeback was like, just wait, I'll show you. And he was like, have you ever gotten feedback that that was negative? And I was like, honestly, you know, I feel like maybe some people have said it was kind of driven from a darker place in the beginning, but if that's your initial carrot to realize that sometimes it's like that's what got you moving or that's what got you to this point to actually see, you know, And I think of that for you, while you're driven by that, it actually gets you to the point where you frickin write children's books and you give back in a huge way. You make entrepreneurs, you push them past a hump that they are stuck in. And it may not be for everyone, but it is for the people who can hear you, you know?

Yeah, yeah, for sure. And I think it's, you know, I think if we're all honest, I think we all have a dark place and we all have a good place, you know, and the thing about being an effective entrepreneur is not about having all the resources. It's about being resourceful with what you have. And that includes your energies and your motivations. So where a lot of people will, you know, it's funny because I go speak and I speak just like you at huge events, okay? And sometimes we do Q and A's and these Q and A's will be like, like I'm sitting up there teaching these people how to build literally nine figure companies if they wanted to. And the questions that they ask in return are about, like, how to deal with people who don't believe in them, how people who hate on them, how to deal with negativity. And so I know everybody has that dark side because I hear it all the time. It's just that most people don't know how to be resourceful with it. They don't know how to take a comment or somebody not believing. And then instead of dwelling on it and being hurt by it, they take it and they put it in and it makes them get off the couch and go do what the fuck they're supposed to do, you know, so that's where I think a big missing link because society frowns on that. Society says, oh, you shouldn't be motivated by, you know, the people who say you can't. You should be doing it for the people who love you. Well, you know what, that sounds really nice, but it's not fucking reality. Reality is we all deal with negativity, we all deal with this. And if we're going to be successful, we've got to be able to transfer all the energy that we get and that we receive and that we take in from the outside world and turn it into productive action that's going to drive us. Because if we're going to be successful, we can't spend time dwelling on the negativity. So we've got to be resourceful in how we use it.

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Oh my God you know, you just made me just have this crazy thought, and it's not crazy at all, but it's just like we are so, you know, we're motivated by pain because the pain is trying to get us back to feeling love again. That's it. Right? We just want to be loved and accepted. So what is the opposite of pain and fear? It's love. So, of course, if you're feeling pain, it's doing exactly what you know. That's why I went into to fitness, is I thought if I built this physical armor and I. If I looked a certain way and felt strong, that I could never feel pain again. It was like, okay, well, this is the opposite of pain. I feel like if I did this, I'd feel love. And I think we're constantly just trying to get back to love. Like, we're just trying to say, okay, look, I'm like, avoiding. Avoiding pain or staying away from pain or whatever that looks like.

I agree. And I think. I think the way that. And I think a lot of the time when you hear, like when you say that, it's important to recognize that a lot of time that love that you're looking for is from yourself. It's not from other people. Like, I. I don't. I'm my. I'm my toughest critic. Like, I don't give a shit what people think about me, but. Well, that's not true. I do care what certain people think, but it's very small circle.

The people you love?

Yes, Like. Like, yeah, the people close to me. So. But I. I really am hard on myself, and I'm trying to prove it to myself. But the thing is, is that you have. A lot of people will get negativity, right? And. And we all get it, but a lot of people will get it and then put out negativity, and they'll put out the same shit that they're getting, which is a losing recipe. It just is. I think that being able, as an entrepreneur to transfer the negativity that you might get or the pain that you might have into productive things that help other people, I know, for me, is a very rewarding thing because I'm able to say, yeah, you know what? Fuck all those people that said that shit about me or did this shit to me or this experience I had to go through. I'm doing good now, and I'm helping people, and I'm doing the right thing, and that makes me feel good. You know, I love that you make.

Meaning out of it. You just make it mean Something to your life.

Right? I truly believe. I truly believe. I really, really, truly believe that so much of success in life, not just financially, but in relationships, to be happy, right? Because that's the ultimate goal. It's not about, like, when I say success, I don't mean just financially. I'm talking about being happy. And I think one of the biggest things that people have to cultivate, and I say cultivate for a reason, because we don't know, we don't have this naturally, is they have to have the ability to change their perspective on things. And I truly believe that. That even the worst shit that you can go through, there's good things that can come from it. There's strength that could come from it. There's inspiration that could come from it. For me, one of the worst things that's happened to me is in 2003, I was stabbed in the face and almost died. I got stabbed three times in the face, once in the back, and I almost died. My face swelled up to the size of a grapefruit for over a year. And I was like. I mean, if you watch any of my videos, you can still see all the scars, but they used to be way worse. That was, like 15 years ago. But when it first happened, you know, my face was totally disfigured. It was. It was. It was swollen. I look crazy. And, you know, I would. I worked in retail, so I dealt with people all day, and people will come into my store, and they would do one of two things. They would either, A, they would look at the floor. They would never look me in the face, okay? Or B, they would look at my face and they would say, jesus, what the fuck happened to your face? And when you're young, 20s, and you're having these, you're getting bombarded by this sort of treatment after being, like, an outgoing person, somebody who's, you know, quote, unquote, normal. You know, it caused me to go into a really dark, dark place and feel really bad about myself. And this went on for a long time. I mean, years, couple years, about a year and a half, I think it was. And then I was shopping at the grocery store, and they're like, by the way, those conversations, that was literally everywhere. It wasn't just in my store. Like, if I went to the grocery store, the cashier wouldn't look at me or they would say that. It gave me a new appreciation for people who deal with, like, disfigurements or handicaps and things. You know, just for the record, if you see somebody In a wheelchair or that's handicapped, treat him like a normal person because like, most people don't. But anyway, I was pushing my cart down the aisle of this grocery store and I was depressed, man. I mean, I was drinking every day, I was smoking weed every day. I was suicidal for sure. And I was pushing my cart down the aisle and I got to the end of the aisle, you know, where one aisle is going one way and one's going the other way. And I hit this part of this person and I looked up and the reason I say person is because I couldn't tell if this was a man or a woman because they were so badly burned. Like, it ended up being a woman and her face was completely burned off. Like, like. And I mean like, no, no, like a hole where nose was like, no face. And she looks at me and I looked at her and she goes, man, she goes, what happened to your fucking face? Like, yeah. So like, she knew. She already knew what people, how people react, and was making a joke in between us. And dude, I started laughing and it turns out she had been in a plane wreck and her whole family was killed in a plane wreck. And she was the only survivor. And I talked to her for like 15 minutes and I left there like my perspective had completely changed. A. About like how much self pity I was having and my depression and all that shit. Like, I almost felt instantly cured, which is weird. But the more important thing was this, is that I started to look for the good things that could happen from that. And you know, when I was young in business at this time, I was only two or three years into my business, I think three years, you know, we were struggling. We weren't. Nobody knew who we were. No one cared who we were. But a funny thing started happening. We would go around to these trade shows all over the country and people would notice my face, right? But instead of like me looking at it as something that was like, dude, everybody's staring at my face. This fucking sucks. The thing is, is everybody remembered me. So like my. I started making these, meeting these people and they always remember me, you know, they would remember as Andy, the dude with the scars on his face. And so it actually made my business grow because I was able to connect with people and they were able to remember me and I was able to forge real relationships with people that I otherwise wouldn't have been able to do just because I got stabbed in the face. And I think, and I have no doubts, like, dude, that's like one of the best. This sounds Kind of fucked up, but it's the truth. Like, it's one of the best things that ever happened to me for business. Like, the best things because I never meet someone that ever forgets me. And it's. It's always been that way since that happened, because of that. And I chose to see that, right? So I chose that perspective. Instead of me being bitter and angry now, I choose to see it as, like, dude, I'm so glad that happened, because I probably wouldn't be where I'm at if it hadn't have happened. And so getting back to what we were talking about, I truly believe that if you think about it, almost everything can be turned into something good. Now, there are terrible things, right? Like people that die suddenly or children that get cancer. And it's hard to see the good that comes out of those things. And I'm not ignorant to those situations, but I am saying that most situations that humans dwell on as negative can be turned into something productive if they just take the time to choose a different perspective.

Wow. Thank you so much for sharing that. Like, that is number one. There's. There's just so much beauty in. In the shift of your perspective. And I also can't help but want to ask if you really feel like there are so many miracles going on that we miss, because I think you're. That moment of the cards, it was just like a massive miracle.

Absolutely. Absolutely. I feel like we take the things that we see. It's all perspective, really. Like, I feel like we. You know, you don't. You don't ever see. You don't ever see the miracles because you're too busy worrying about other shit. Like, you don't see the time you went through a stop sign 30 seconds faster than you should have. And if you would have been 30 seconds slower, you would have got hit by a bus. You don't see that stuff. You know what I mean? And we have things that happen to us all the time that we don't notice. And I was actually having a discussion with a friend last night, and this is actually really cool because I don't talk about it all the time, but I'm a huge believer in, like, the law of attraction. And quantum physics is something that I. That I look into and I'm interested in and I study on my own time, as nerdy as that sounds.

Oh, me too. You're talking to the right person.

Are you a law of attraction person?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. So, okay, so, like, I was talking to this to a friend who. Who was Kind of new to the idea. And I was showing them how literally it's not something that we choose to have happen to us. It's something that's happening to everybody and they just don't realize it. So when you have someone who's struggling in life and they're worried about how they're going to pay their bills and they're worried about their debt and they're angry about the relationship, what are they going to get? They're going to get more bills, they're going to get more anger about the relationship, they're going to get all the negative things they think about. And what most people don't understand is that whole principle of it being a law means that it applies to everyone. And so what most people are doing is attracting all the shit without even realizing that they're attracting it. You know what I mean? And it's not just for people who choose to use it. It's for everybody. And I think it goes along with your point of like people aren't paying attention, you know, so they miss everything.

Oh, I mean that. It goes, it goes from that moment of just these massive miracles where you could have missed that. I mean, legitimately, you could have been like, oh, you bumped into my cart like that. And miss an entire life changing moment of saying, that was for me, that was no accident.

Like I'm somebody or something or whatever. However you want to think about it. I needed that at that moment because like I, I was. And I still struggle with depression. Not because of that, just because I've had it my whole life and it runs in my family. But, but that was like a turning point for me. Like I wouldn't have made it had that not happened. There's no question.

Yeah, I, I have so many weight. They're like wake up calls. There's a couple things about that for me where it's just like I believe that we're constantly. We can either live like a nudge life where your soul's like, okay, there's something here, check this out. Or you're gonna be smacked by a 2x4 until you get it. Until you wake up.

Yeah.

So that was, you know, maybe.

Yeah, yeah.

Two by four moments. Wake up. And I also love. You'll probably love this quote. I don't know if you've heard it before, but if you feel that way, because I can, I can kind of. Of slip into that state as well. I heard the other day, purpose is the opposite of depression. And I was like, oh, God, yes. Like creating your Purpose is, like, so powerful.

Yeah, I love that. And that's a whole nother thing that even goes back into entrepreneurship because a lot of people are starting businesses because they want to make money. But if you really want to make money, your business should be based around a purpose, around a mission. And that's such a hard concept for. For people to understand because they think like, yeah, that sounds like some bullshit that, like some, you know, do Gooder is going to try to tell you. But really, it's a practical thing. It's a practical step if you want to be great at what you do, make your business built around a purpose versus being built around making money. You know, I love that, like, every day I get up, man, I love coming to work. I love what we do. We're in a situation where we can literally change people's lives every single day over and over and over and over again. And it never gets old, you know, and some people are like, well, I don't have an exciting job like that. Yeah, but you're not. You're not every. Most businesses should be built around a purpose, and they should be, but they're. Most aren't. Most of them are designed to operate on a P and L and a bank statement, and that's how they're judged. And I think if more people would just commit to whatever problem it is they're trying to solve and develop purpose around that in a practical sense, not in a, you know, a feel good sense, but in a practical sense, they would do much better in business.

So I want to go back to talking about, since it's kind of your jam also is just talking about the law of attraction in business because you talk so much about mindset. And really that's. That's what I believe it is, like, for so many people who are like, I don't know, or whatever, it's like, law of attraction is just your mindset. Like, if you go to work or think about having a crap mindset, you get, you're gonna, you know, focus on everything that's crappy there. It's just like, how does that work for you every day when you kind of see it? Because I know that once you. Once you believe it, you see it everywhere. And you know when you're not in a good spot and when you're attracting crap, which is also super empowering for yourself to know when you're in and when you're out. So what's something you do when you start to see that you're kind of going downhill? Maybe you're scared of something, or maybe there's a bit of fear or lack around something in your business, like, do you shift and do you experience that?

Oh, of course. Of course I experience it. Nobody can be on all the time. That's a big misconception with the law of Attraction. People think that it only works if you're 100% on all the time. That's not true. But we're talking about, like, the law of averages almost. You know, you just have to be aware and catch yourself. For me, you know, I really don't know. I haven't really thought about how I catch myself. I just. I'm always so focused on what I call the offense. Like, in business, like, I'm always focused on growth. I'm always focused on improving. I'm always focused on getting better. I'm always focused on moving. So I don't. I don't. By staying focused on forward progress, I don't get stale. You know what I mean? Because there's always more to do. So. And I'm not. I've started to recognize this about myself. You know, I'm not the kind of person who's gonna, like, sell out and go kick back on a beach. I couldn't live like that. And I. I love. I love. I love the game. You know what I mean? And so I don't. I just kind of naturally catch myself because I've been doing it for so long. I think when you're first starting, it's important to realize, because a lot of people do this, right? They like. And I believe, like, the law of Attraction and God and all these things. These things come together. But. But a lot of people, when they first start learning about the Law of Attraction, they see the secret. What they don't realize is the secret is like a coloring book of Law of Attraction. There's much more information out there. There's a great book if you want to learn how to use the Law of Attraction, by a guy named Michael Lozier. It's just called the Law of Attraction. It's got the ugliest cover. Sorry, Michael. Like, it's like this rainbow thing. It's like. It looks like the opposite of something I would read, you know, but it's so good, and the information's so simple and so practical for people. It just helps people figure out how to use it. But I think the reason that most people can't use it is because they spend so little time focused. It's the same reason why prayers don't get answered for People. Because people pray for 10 minutes at night or five minutes, if at all, and then the rest of their day is living not in congruency with what they say they want or what they're praying about. And the truth is that if you live in congruency and you actually go out and do your part, from my experience, things tend to work out pretty good. So what I do for me as I do a simple, I've done this for years. These are just simple things that I do. Number one, the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is obviously I brush my teeth. But while I brush my teeth, I'm practicing gratitude. I'm thinking about all the things that I'm thankful for. And even when I didn't have much, I'm still thankful for all kinds of stuff like my friends and my dog and how happy my dog made me. Even when I was totally alone, I could still find things to be thankful for. So you don't have to have a lot of stuff to be grateful. It's just a good way to start your day because it balances out the energy the right way. You just start having better days. The other thing I do is I have this method that I use called the powerless method. It's basically a habit forming, momentum forming, confidence building version of a to do list. And I practiced that for the last 10 years. Basically, it's taking five critical tasks that I need to do. And I'm not talking about like basic stuff. I'm talking about like, I've got to call John so that I can get this deal done or I've got it. Like things that are not habitual. I cover that on my podcast in episode 107 in detail. It's just too long to explain right here. So I utilize that program when I go to bed. I spend the last minutes of my day visualizing what I want my life to look like in the near future. I try to really see it through a first person point of view and I try to notice it as much as I can. Like, I literally, like, this was my visualization for a long time. And some people are going to listen to think it's silly, but. And it is kind of silly. But I, I used to always aspire to have a Lamborghini, okay. And I'm a huge car guy. So I would visualize myself driving. This is back when I had, when I had to move back in with my dad in 2006 after six years of running our. Seven years of running our company. I had to move back home because I was broke. I used to visualize driving a Lamborghini up to a private jet and then, like, seeing the door go up because everybody knows Lamborghini's got the vertical doors. And I would look and try to see, like, outside and see the jet and see the steps and see, like, the chrome on the handrail and walk inside of it and. And I try to visualize all the finishes and the wood and the leather and the smell in detail. And I did that for years. And the funny thing is, now that's like, normal shit for me. That's what I do every day. I flew commercial one time in the last five years. And I'm not saying that to brag. I'm just saying it, like, it works. So I practice visualization and I try to do it in detail and see myself in these positions that I want to see myself in. And Even back in 2006 and 07, when I first started learning about this, I would see myself on stage and I would see people clapping in a positive situation. And I had no intentions to be a speaker or to be a personal development quote, unquote guru or whatever people call whatever they want to call you. That was not my plan. I just. I don't even know why I thought that stuff. I just thought it would be cool. And. And here I am speaking to groups of 15,000 people. You know what I mean? It's really bizarre, to be completely honest.

Like, that is everything, no joke, everything, right down to, like, what I picture in the house and what. So my husband Chris is a car guy, and he's done that with Ferraris, and he has a Ferrari now. Like, he just.

It's real.

It is life.

It's real. Like it is in there. I could give so many examples. The cool thing about that book I mentioned, the Law of Attraction by Michael Ozier. That cool thing about that book is one of the chapters is about paying attention. And I think that's the thing. Like, people. People think about things, and then when they happen, they don't even remember that they thought about them. So they think that it was just chance, you know what I mean? And it's not. And I don't care what anybody says. People call you crazy or whatever. I'm 100% bought in. I believe it. And now I'm to the point in my life where I have to be really careful about what I think about, because I will. I feel like that's a muscle almost that you develop that affects the speed at which things Come into your life. And because I've been doing it so long now, if I think about shit and it comes. So I have to be really careful what I think about because if I think about the wrong things, they come really fast too. So in the beginning, I think it's just like going to the gym. In the beginning, your law of attraction muscle or your attractive, whatever you want to call it, isn't very developed. But after doing it for a long time, you start to develop it as a more powerful skill or muscle or whatever you want to call it, because nobody really knows what it is. It just works. And that's a hard thing for people to swallow too, right? Because they want to know the ins and outs of how everything works. And they want to say, oh, there's no science. Well, there actually is science. If you start getting into it, that supports it. But it sounds fucking crazy to people. So I don't talk about it a whole lot because I don't need to argue about it. I just know that it works.

I think there's so much just basic reality to it though. So if we think about. Okay, let's just say. I don't know why I just got the image of going to a grocery store and let's say you have this grocery cart and it's just like if you obviously pick up the junk food or the junk thoughts, like, let's just say they're junk and you put them in your cart. Like you eat that, you're gonna feel like crap. Like you're not gonna have any energy. If you look at it and you see it, but you're, you acknowledge that, that it would be good and that it could bring you pleasure, but you leave it and you grab the stuff that you fuels you later. Obviously you're going to have energy and you're going to move towards your goal. It's like if you pick up the junk thought, you're going to drain your energy. It's going to pick up the junk people. It's going to attract all the junk. It's going to keep you stuck. It's going to make you sick. If you continue on the path of like, good. Obviously, it's just, it's, that's all it is. It's just good thought after good thought.

I agree. And another thing that I found that I, that I did and I, I tell people this as a request requirement. People hear what I'm about to say and they think it's an optional thing. It's not optional. If you want to be successful you have to cut the negative people out of your life. And it doesn't matter who they are, doesn't matter if it's your mom, doesn't matter if it's your grandma, doesn't matter who it is because of what you just said, we only have so much energy in a day, just like your cell phone only has so much charge in it. And we get to choose to spend our energy on things that are productive. Or we could choose it on things that aren't productive and are negative. And negative people take up our energy. They just take it. They don't give us anything back in return. And we're not investing in anything that will produce a return for us. So if you. And business is fucking hard, right? It's hard for everybody. So if you're an entrepreneur and you think you're going to be successful when you have all these other people who have all of their energy invested in it, and you think you're going to be successful spending 50% of your energy with a negative spouse or a negative whatever you have going on, and you're still going to be able to do what these other people are doing. No, you're going to practically and factually get beat based upon the available amount of energy. So. So it's very important to, and I call them anchors and propellers. It's very important to fill your boat with propellers, not fill your boat with anchors and propellers are people who positively contribute to whatever it is you're trying to do. And a lot of people have a tough time with what I'm saying. They're like, andy, you're so ruthless. You're saying, cuthis my mom out. Hey, man, I think, and what I've observed over the last 10 years of being somewhat in personal development in the last four years, being heavily in it, is that most people are loyal to people who do nothing good for them. And they have this weird societal loyalty to people just because they have the same last name or their cousins or they grew up from the same neighborhood. Well, part of being successful is understanding that, yes, you might have grown up with Johnny and Tommy and Billy in the old neighborhood, but those motherfuckers are losers. Now you're trying to not be one. You know what I mean? People have a hard time with that. And something that I consciously did, you know, when I got really serious about our business, is I just as ruthless as it sounds, man, I cut everybody out that wasn't. That wasn't contributing. Like, if you didn't. If I didn't get something Positive out of the relationship. I didn't have it. And I don't mean, like, they did something for me. Like, if I can't have a conversation with you to where I walk away feeling better, then you're not going to be in my life. You know what I mean?

I actually. This is something that my husband and I talk about all the time, just because I. So I literally just basically wrote a book about this. Like, you have to create tribe on the other side of doing what you love, and it helps you transition from your old tribe. Otherwise, it's kind of like we're leaving the tribe, which I had to do. Like, I left kind of my family and the religion I grew up in and moved away and had to kind of cut them out for a few years until I felt strong enough to be able to go back and be my own person. Otherwise, I was going back to the old ways.

Yes, I totally get it. And that's another thing that people don't understand, too, is they think that if they cut out all these people that used to be their friends, that they're going to be alone. And that's another thing that we hear all the time, right? It's lonely at the top. Motherfucker, you ain't ever been to the top, so how do you know if it's lonely? Because I ain't never been there. But I can tell you this. My friendships and relationships that I have now are much more rewarding and fulfilling and fun than they were five years ago. And it's not. It's not the same people. It's all people who think the same way I do, who contribute to my mission, who support me, and we support each other, and it's a productive culture, you know, and that's. That's something that people have a misconception. I don't. I don't know. You know, there's songs about it, man. There's songs. You know, there is just a cultural misconception. Things that people who have never experienced are drawing conclusions based upon what they've heard. And the truth of the matter is, is that your friendships and your relationships will progress and evolve and ultimately be more rewarding. You don't have any less friends. You have better friends.

And I want to really look at the big picture of that because sometimes we get stuck in the. In those moments of just, well, this is what's here and now, and we forget that sometimes. You know, Andy, I can. I can have a feeling that maybe when you were younger, you just felt like there was so Much more. Or you had more to do, or you just had this inkling, perhaps. Like, did you feel that way at all?

I did, but, like, the truth of the matter is I just wanted to be really rich. Yeah. And, like, I knew. Like, I always felt like. Because that's why I started, like, selling stuff when I was a kid, you know, Like, I've always like, hey, I want to make a lot of money. So I knew I didn't want to be like everybody else. And I always knew that I just didn't know how I was going to get there or if I was going to get there. And what had happened to me was about 10 years into my business, and this goes back to focusing on the impact and helping people. About 10 years in my business, I wasn't making any money, and I had to take a minute in business means like, a month or two to really think about. And I thought about, like, getting out of business because I wasn't making. I was only making $695 a month 10 years into my business. So I was having to work other jobs to survive, and still I'm 10 years in. I thought about leaving the business, and I thought about what I wanted to do. And the only other thing I'm really qualified to do because I dropped out of college is to work construction, because that's my family business. All of my relatives are construction people. They own construction companies or contracting companies. So I know a lot about construction. So I'm like, okay, well, I could go do that, and I could definitely make more money. But I thought about it and I. I'm like, man, I don't like that. I don't want to do that. What got me. And this is funny because a lot of people give me a lot of credit for being some sort of business guy, but it kind of happened by accident. So I thought about, like, man, I might not make any money in this job, but I like what I do. Like, I like seeing people lose weight. I like seeing people get their life together. It's something that makes me feel good. And I made the decision. I'm like, fuck it. You know what? Maybe I'm not going to be rich. Maybe I'm not going to be this. But I like this. I'm still going to do it. And it made no sense. But the funny thing happened. I started pouring all myself into what I could do to help people get those results, because I decided that's what I wanted. I wanted to see these people get results. And I started pouring all of my energy into helping people. And guess what happened? I started making fucking money because they were getting results and they were happy and they were excited and they told their friends, and all of a sudden, my business doubled and my business doubled again for five years straight, okay? In the worst economy ever. Because I switched my perspective from trying to sell them shit into helping them. And that was a big deal for me. So, like, you know, when I was. When you say, oh, did I ever have an inkling for more? You know, I did, but I don't know how to explain how I felt. It's so weird. It's weird. Like, I did.

I kind of. So I kind of get it because my husband was always like that. I was always like, did you think you were meant to do, like, these great things for people that you do now? He's like, no, I just really wanted a Ferrari, okay? But that's. So we talk about this all the time, to be unapologetic. Unapologetic about the carrot, you know, like, because it can open things up.

What happens is you. What happened to me was I observed it, right? Like, I'm like, okay, fuck, what did I do the last six months? Well, I. Or what I do the last year? Well, I worked as hard as I could to help people, and guess what? I double my business. So I figured it out, and then I'm like, now. Now I'm gonna make a lot of money. So, like, I. I didn't. Don't mistake. What I'm saying is, like, some sort of, like, you know, Care Bear shit. Like, I still want to make a lot of fucking money. You know what I mean? I want to make a ton of money, and that's okay. That's what a lot of people don't think. You know? They don't get it. That's totally fine if you're doing it in a way that you feel good about. You know what I mean? And so, like, with your husband, you know, I bet he figured that out, too. I bet he figured out, you know, he probably. I don't know the story, and I don't. I don't even know what he does, but I bet you he had some sort of similar awakening. You know what I mean?

We.

We do, like. We work in the same business. We work on each other's business so legitimately. It was like, all of a sudden, he realized he had the muscle to do it and also create this massive impact of how did he do it? And share how he did it. And it was like, that's what I know. About you, too. The more money you make, the more desire you have to make more money, the more impact you're leaving and the more people look at you and they pay attention. So it doesn't. It's like. It's all this beautiful cyclical thing. If, like you said, you're doing it and you're enjoying what you're doing and helping other people.

Well, I think to help people understand what this is like, it's helpful to understand how society is built right now. For 70 years, okay, companies could literally lie to their customers and sell them shit that wasn't what it was represented as. And there was no repercussions. There wasn't an Internet, there wasn't social media, There wasn't a way for word of mouth to spread instantly. So what happened? People started to associate rich with evil. Okay? And that's where generations of Americans grew up thinking that if you had a lot of money, you must have screwed a lot of people over to get it. Because of the way our economy was built now. So now we live in a situation where feedback is instant. We can literally tell every single person that we know about every experience that we have with minimal effort. And because of that, companies cannot operate like they used to operate, where they screw people over. Now we're in a situation where if you're making a lot of money, it's because you're solving a lot of fucking problems. And what does that mean? That means that money now becomes a representation of how much good you're doing versus how much bad you were doing for the last 70 years. So to make a lot of money now, you have to solve a real problem. You have to create real impact. And if you don't, people aren't going to talk about it. So. So it's kind of. Gary Vaynerchuk wrote a really good book. Gary's a buddy of mine. He wrote, and it's his most underrated book, in my opinion. It's called the thank you Economy. And that book explains what I'm talking about perfectly. So if you want to dig in more to that. But the truth of the matter is, we live in a situation now where you can really only make money by doing the right thing long term.

You know, Andy, I could literally. I'm looking at the clock and I'm like, how did that happen? I could talk to you all day long. Maybe someday in the future I can have you on again, like, if those stars align in my perfect world. But I am so grateful for you. Like, I'm number one. I'm just overwhelmed by what you have accomplished in the most beautiful way and the impact that you are putting out in the world and how you're doing it. So you. And also, to be honest with you, like, I was slightly intimidated to chat with you, but I. I have not felt this comfortable with a human being. I wasn't gonna say human man, but a man.

I get it.

A human man. It's just you're so immediately likable, which is also so clear why you have the success that you have. Just people can resonate with you. They can still see you. And it also gives us permission to be us. So I'm so grateful for you and I just want to thank you for your time and your impact.

Thank you so much. I'm honored that that actually is really nice to hear because sometimes I wonder why the fuck do resonate with me. So it's helpful for me to hear that. I appreciate it.

You're walking permission with being real. And I think that is like all that we're asking for in the world is someone please show us the way to be more us and be unapologetic for the things, things that we desire and also that drive us to give back in a major way. So I think it's so beautiful and I think the message is so needed. So grateful for you and I hope that you have an amazing day and where can we find you? Follow you all that good stuff.

Andyfricella.com is where all my stuff is. My podcast is where I do what I feel is my best work, which is called the MF CEO project. And I but been fortunate enough to build a really nice audience on that podcast. And if you're interested in podcasts, which if you're listening to this, you could check it out. I'm on all the platforms.

Top 50 podcasts. Let's just brag for a minute.

Yeah, yeah.

And you were voted what I think it was like number one entrepreneur podcast to listen to.

We were voted number one entrepreneur podcast. I've been number one in iTunes a number of times, but I'm consistently in top 10 in business and then consistently top 50 in all podcasts.

All podcasts. Oh my God.

So I got a really nice thing happen recently where Entrepreneur magazine ranked us as the number one entrepreneurial podcast out there, which is really a huge honor for me because I read that magazine growing up, you know, and then Yahoo also ranked us number one and then so did Forbes. So like we got ranked number one like literally within like two weeks by three different major publications. And it was really, really like, for me, like, super surreal because. Because I still feel like that fat kid with Doritos.

And that's why we love you. So, I mean, that is so inspiring. Keep going. I'm listening, I'm watching, I'm learning. And I know that everybody else is so, I mean, massive inspiration. So grateful for you and you guys. Follow him. And I know that you're all podcast listeners on here and you're obsessed, so make sure that you share this episode and share what he's doing because, I mean, even his Instagram is out of this world. Inspiring. I mean, if you want 45 second shots in the arm, go and check out his Instagram. You'll see why he has like almost a million followers. It'll be there tomorrow. So have an amazing day. And you guys, thank you so much. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys.

Bye.

Bye, Sa.