248: How Dreams Get Delivered To You

Foreign. Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the Earn your happy podcast. And it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And I am recording this before I'm about to go to Phoenix for one of my final stops on this particular leg of the A tribe called Bliss. Bliss, that's my book. Tribe called Bloss, A tribe called Blouses, A Tribe called Bliss book tour. So I'm very excited to see everybody tomorrow night in Phoenix and there's nothing better than being in a room with all of you. And I am going to attempt to see if I can do a round two of this book tour because I loved it so much. And being in the room with you is truly my calling. And having this conversation about deepening relationships not only with our female friends and other people in our life, but with ourselves, because we cannot connect with anyone if we're not willing to get vulnerable. Connect with ourselves, do the work, forgive ourselves, move forward, let go of the stories. Right? And I just had a blast. And I also found that I really enjoy just laughing with all of you and making light of self development because I think sometimes we can take it so serious that it's not fun. And I think having these conversations can be fun. Yes, they're serious, but they can also be fun. It can be light. We can look at us and say, oh my God, I have been stopping myself. I've been judging myself. I have been stopping myself from connecting with women. And this is why. And here's the funny things and scenarios that we play out in our heads that never actually happen, or here's the judgment that has been stopping me. So I can't wait to see all of you tomorrow night. And I was going through some of my posts yesterday to see what's been resonating with all of you to see what topics you enjoy hearing about on the podcast. So I was kind of Going through my social and one of the post jumps jumped out to me because I think it had like, oh my God, a 1.1 thousand saves and almost 10,000 likes. And I was like, what is this? Like why is this resonate resonating so hard with people? And I have to read you the post. So it says it's about dreams, of course. Right? It's about dreams, reaching your dreams and goals. And I'm pretty sure that all of us, that's the trajectory of where we want to go in life. So it says when you ask for something, when you really want something, you gotta know that it's getting to. It's. You gotta know that it's not getting delivered in its final form. It's like going to Ikea, picking out your favorite kitchen and furniture to fill your house and saying, yeah, that's pretty, I love it, I want it, I'll take it. Then going home to a pile of confusing parts you have to put together yourself only to realize you don't have any tools and your dog ate the instructions. Yep, that's how your dreams get delivered. They show up one day at your door as a pile of lessons that you do not yet have the skills or tools to navigate. The pile of lessons, tough relationships and lack of skills serve as your opportunity. Opportunity to figure out how to be resourceful and become the person who can handle building and maintaining the dream. Yep. I have a love hate relationship with Ikea and building my dreams, but I sure enjoy who I become become as a result of figuring out the messes and overwhelm when I realize it's all gonna be beautiful on the other side. And isn't that just life? So that was the post and I thought about how much we get tripped up thinking it's supposed to feel good. We talk a lot about that on this podcast. People get really tripped up thinking they're supposed to feel clear, thinking that this lightning bolt of inspiration or clarity is going to come around their dre. And I want to tell you how it actually is. You know, I'm at a pivot point in my life after coming off of this book tour. I am a different person than I was before it just as you'll be a different person when you actually get out there, and I know many of you are out there and you're doing the do. You'll be a different person once you make the program and release the program. You'll be a different person once you go to that event where once you get on that plane and fly around the world. You will be a different person after you show up in that room that scares you. So, yes, you do not yet have the tools and the resources to do the thing that you want to do, but the only thing that you need to do is take the next step. So we always feel confused. So if you're looking at someone else's page or you're looking at someone else's website and you're like, how does this look? Like this person has it all together. Or they're always clear, they're using their life as a testing ground. At all times, they're taking one step and saying, is this a fit? Is this not a fit? How did that feel? So basically everything that I've ever done, whether it's a program, whether it had been opening my gym, whether it was, you know, back in the day when I was a barista, back in the day when I was, you know, doing makeup, I thought that I wanted to do makeup and hair, you guys. And while I love it, it's absolutely was not my calling, but I'm so glad that I did it because I lear so much, and it's helped so much with where I went. Right. It helped with me being able to do my own makeup on photo shoots. It's helped with. I just had a photo shoot yesterday, actually, that I was so happy that I could just wake up when I wanted and do my own makeup and do my own hair. So it's all of these little tiny things that you just have to go and test out and figure out and say, how does this feel? And also, it's knowing the difference between it's not gonna feel good all the time, but really thoroughly being happy with where you're at and enjoying the outco of the process in which you're doing. So there's so many things I don't want to do within my dream. So, honestly, podcasting you guys, I don't love having to be somewhere every single week, but I do love talking. I do love interviews. I don't love uploading my content, making sure it's on time. It's just not who I am. But at the same time, if I don't have those things, the dream never gets out. So I can now look at those things as, thank God they have deadlines. Thank God I have a regular schedule because it supports the dream and it gets it out there. Because if I did not have that, I'd be this airy fairy all over the place going, oh, yeah, here's a sprinkle of content here and a sprinkle of content there, and you guys would not have a consistent podcast to listen to. So there's always, like, half of something that I'm like, hmm, I don't love it, but I. How can I love it? So how can you look at your life right now and say, okay, I love this part so much, but I don't love this part. How can I love it more? How can I change my perspective on how this dream and action is either getting delivered or performed? And also, for me to love the podcast, you know, I had to empower my team, and my team had to take over so many things, and they're amazing. So they make me love the podcast more because they are helping me with so many of the parts that I am not good at and they're geniuses at. So the booking, the show notes, so many other things. Right? Making sure it gets uploaded and on time and edited and all of those amazing things. So what can you do? How can you change your perspective about the dream? How can you actually change what your expectation is and just know that you're gonna feel. You're gonna have this giant, giant dream in front of you and you're gonna have all of these parts that make zero sense and don't even seem like they're a part of the dream that you have to put together and you're gonn. And you're going to have this little baby Allen wrench that came with it, and that is it. It's like we were born with an Allen wrench, and Allen wrenches suck and don't get the job done. They're going to hurt your fingers and it's going to hurt your wrist, and you cannot put together a kitchen or a massive dream and piece of furniture with an Allen wrench. So you have to get resourceful and say, okay, who knows where I can find a tool store? Right? Who knows where I can find a wrench? Who knows where I can find a hammer? Whatever. I've been out of the. I've been out of the building construction zone for a while. So forgive me while I ask for a tool store instead of a hardware store. I swear to God, you guys, something that you didn't know about me is that I actually built kitchens and bathrooms and helped build countertops. Yes. Actually fabricated countertops with my father. So back in the day, before I did not, before I decided that I would rather work really hard and hire people to do those tough jobs, I used to do kitchens and bathrooms and countertops, and I can still Fix stuff. I've actually. This is a funny story, random rant, but I think you'll appreciate it. When my husband and I were first dating, we were at a bar with all of our friends, and the bathroom line for the women was getting super long. And I had to go to the bathroom, and I was like, okay, what is going on in here? And I marched in through the line and I was like, what? Why are we not moving? What's happening? And they're like, oh, my God, something's happening with the toilets. Every single toilet is broken. And I looked at it, and someone had rigged the toilets. They had taken off one of the tubes that brings fresh water into the filling tank, and they had made it so that when you flush the toilet, this tube of water sprays into your face. I mean, that's brilliant in and of itself. That is hilarious. So all these girls were getting sprayed with what they did not know was fresh water. But I looked at it and I was like, oh, my God, move. You know, I had a couple drinks in me, I was like, move, I'm fixing this. So I pulled off like six of the lids off the toilet, reattached the hose, flushed all of them, and I was like, okay, we're good. And literally that night, I was the hero of the bar. And my husband was thoroughly impressed. And I'm pretty sure that might have been the moment that I had won him over, but that's just where I was at in life. But let me tell you, those skills are kind of gone now because I've not used them for a long, long time.

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Anyway, random rants and I just had to tell you that you are not going to feel ready, right? You're not going to feel ready. You're not going to feel like you know what you are doing. And I still to this day am always testing things and trying it out. And the only difference between me and someone else or someone who is fulfilling their dream and someone else who is not is the willingness to feel lost on a daily basis. But feeling lost in questioning and really just being okay with not knowing that nothing is secure, like that's become my new normal, is being okay with the idea that security is not necessarily real. And the only it's not real. Let's just be super real. Security is not real. And being okay with not feeling secure or sure or, you know, this is just feeling really good and true and solid in things. I don't think that that is how life is. The only thing you're going to feel good and solid about is that your creator always has your back, whatever you believe, God, universe, whatever that is. And when you are solid on that, you can go in the world and know that it's okay to not feel solid because your source is always trying to show you the way through feelings. Right? And, and I believe that you have to feel what doesn't feel good to know what does feel good. So just know that all of us, even the most professional looking among us have no freaking clue what is going on. And we are in trial and error and trying to follow our soul and really do what feels good and figuring out our zones of genius. That doesn't mean we're not trying to be masters once we figure it out and that we're trying to really pay it forward, figure out our purpose, find our purpose. But you have to go through all the crap at all times. And to be honest, again, I'm telling you, I'm pivoting in my life again because this book tour just revealed a new part of me that I didn't realize how much I loved being in a room talking about this particular conversation with women. So we'll see what comes out of it over the next year. And I would have never known that if this book hadn't taken me on this journey. And I thought it was about the book, but really it was about getting me in these rooms, so. And having this conversation. So have the most amazing day, you guys. I want you to look at your life and see where you can reframe, have a new perspective on knowing that your dream is always going to have parts that you don't love and it's always going to show up in pieces at your door and you're not going to know what the hell to do with it. So don't give up because you don't feel comfortable or you feel lost. Just keep going and keep trying, whatever that looks like. And even if you don't know what your purpose is, please just keep following the joy and trying things on. And know that sometimes even with joy, there's Parts that come with it that are not fun. Like, I just tried a brand new dance class last Thursday. Oh my God, I was terrible. And I was so nervous about going. And when I say terrible, I was so proud of myself once I got there because I was like, okay, like this was fun. But I tried a hip hop dance class and I almost did not go. It was a 40 minute drive to get there. Number one, I was like, why am I driving 40 minutes to get here? I had 40 minutes to think of how ridiculous I was gonna look dancing with girls who like dance their whole life. And I am so grateful that I went through the feeling of complete discomfort, the anxiety beforehand saying, why the hell am I doing this? To get in the room to go, this is why I'm doing this just opened up a whole creative side of me that I have not tapped into. And so many incredible, amazing women in the room that I would have never connected with. So much love, so much compassion in that room, so much support saying, we're just glad you're here. We love new people, you know, Dance your heart out. Look like a freak over in that corner, girl. Like I had the best time ever. But 50% of it was spent stressing getting there. So just remember all the good stuff has resistance around it. Go for it, go through it. Even if you're not sure why you're doing it. So know that if your heart said, know if your heart pinged you right. Oh, that dance class looks awesome. Go through with the tough stuff. Go through the research, go through the drive that makes you anxious. Go through the terrible, awkward, oh my God, I'm gonna suck at this and the anxiety and the sweat fest before you even start dancing. So have the most amazing day. You guys bit a few, a few rants thrown in there but I feel like, like it's just nice to actually get to know the tangibles of what day to day actually looks like sending you so much love. And you guys, I'm. If you haven't seen on Instagram, if you are reading the book, please post about it so I can repost and see all of the aha moments and everything that's going on for you and use the hashtag A Tribe Called Bliss because what's happening there is. I am connecting all of you to your tribe. So everybody's searching that hashtag and following each other because this is your like minded tribe. You guys are all going through the same experience together. I don't want this to just be another book where you're like, oh, I Read that and you don't realize the thousands and thousands and thousands of other people reading it. I want you guys to find each other, follow each other, and to possibly even connect to build your tribe. That's how it's done. So you can't say, I don't know how this is the way how, and then moving through the discomfort of actually reaching out and connecting, getting rejected and reaching out again until you create what you want. Want. Because in my life, I don't stop until I create what I wish existed. And sometimes that means a year of no's, a year of rejection, a year of discomfort or more. So I'm sending you so much love, knowing that you are going to do something big and bold, audacious, scary, to get you to your joy and your bliss on the other side. And I will see you on Instagram.

Because I answer all those stories.

Stories. Okay, you guys have an awesome day. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you. If you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye. Bye.