258: How to Give Yourself What You Need The Most

Foreign. Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. And it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And I hope that that is now a part of your truth in your life, that you know that there is always a few extra minutes where you can go and listen to something or go and adjust your own attitude. Right? Yesterday I was in the car and I had just gone to a soul cycle class and I was feeling a bit like re entry from my very three week vacation that was so needed and so amazing was challenging. Felt like my reentry was rather challenging, to even put it lightly. And the instructor had asked, what is a gift that you could give yourself right now that would make your day or your life better? And immediately an answer came to me and it was blaringly clear. And it was an attitude adjustment. And I was like, really? An attitude adjustment? Like, that's not going very easy on yourself. And I thought, you know what, going easy on myself right now is not feeling awesome because I have things that I really want to do and I have things that I could choose to be enjoying. I have things that I know that I would enjoy so much if I just changed my attitude about it. So I had some podcasting to do that I just wasn't ready to get back into reality. I wasn't ready to sit down, I wasn't ready to have a conversation about inspiration yet. And I was resisting it. And immediately I had adjusted my attitude after that. And I thought, you know what, Adjusting my attitude in this moment is a gift because sitting in resistance for me is no longer serving a purpose. Sometimes it does, right? Sometimes going easy on yourself, giving yourself grace, really not feeling like you have to push through that resistance. Sometimes there are seasons for that or there is a time for that, or sometimes there's days for that. But I had this moment of this is not serving me. I Have to get back in. I want to get back in. I'm actually somewhat excited to get back in. So why am I sitting in the resistance? What if I just changed my attitude and kept on talking about, in my mind about how I get to do this? How about I just let go of the resistance? How about I stop letting myself drag? How about I stop choosing to see why I don't want to and see why I want to and just let go and lean in? And I asked myself what it would feel like if I got really, really excited about what I get to do. What would it feel like if I got really excited about being back in the groove? What would it feel like if I got really excited about hard work? What would it feel like if I got really excited about focus? And I noticed that everything just sort of melted away. I noticed that the resistance that I was sitting in was a choice. I noticed how much easier it felt just to lean into the wave or dive right into the wave instead of letting it crash against me and wonder why I was getting knocked around instead of moving through it. So if there's something in your life right now that you've sat in long enough that you're like, okay, maybe, yes, that feeling had served me, and maybe the procrastination had served me, and maybe the resistance had served me for some reason. But now I'm ready just to lean in. I'm ready just to let it go, right? If it's something that you once wished for and it's something that you still want on your plate, why are you still choosing to resist it? Lean in. And I get that you might wake up tomorrow morning and feel the same resistance. But if it's something that you are choosing to have on your plate because you want it there, then that's when you can let go of the resistance. And it's not going to happen right away. Letting go is going to take some thought. It's going to actually take some thought about how it's showing up in your body and how it's feeling and what. What it would feel like if you stopped battling the feeling. Right? And it was so funny that it happened in Soul Cycle because I was kind of, like, battling the fact that I was on bike, like, oh, I don't want to move my legs this fast. I don't want to do this. And I thought, what would it feel like if I did want to do this? What would it feel like if moving my legs this fast were a choice? And I was excited about it. And it's crazy. What can happen when you just shift your mind into asking, what if? What if? Right. You don't. It's not even saying this is how you have to feel. It's saying, what if? And what would that look like? And how would that feel? And it kind of allows you to make you think that you have a choice in it and say, I don't know, what would that look like? Well, it would probably feel like this. Well, I would probably hold my body with a little bit more confidence. I would probably hold my body a little more firm so that I'm not flailing everywhere. I'd probably look like someone who was excited to be in here. I probably have a smile on my face while I was doing this cycling class. I'd probably be cheering in this class, really trying to get other people excited about being on this bike and excited about connecting and being in this room. And when I started to embody that and when I started to really push that energy out into the world, I noticed I just got so much lighter on the bike. It's not that it got easier. I had a better easier or I had a better time doing it. I had fun doing it, which then in turn did make it easier. And something else that I also heard was within that class was energy is not created, right? Energy is just transferred and it's always available. So instead of me thinking, oh, God, I have to dig up all this energy, I have to create it, I just have to ask for it, I just have to do the things that actually call in energy. And also by you transferring energy out into the world, you get it back tenfold. So when I started to get give more energy and really thought about how my energy affects the people around me, when I start choosing and give myself that attitude adjustment, that was when I noticed that an abundance of energy showed up. So not only the attitude adjustment, but also really knowing that when I adjust my attitude when I give energy is when even more of it shows up. So the resistance is just not serving us. It's actually pulling from our energy. It's actually really making us feel tired, it's making us feel exhausted and choosing to stay in it. I, believe me, I totally get it. There's moments when it is serving you, but if you're done, if you know you're done, if you know it's just like a choice to kind of stay in it and marinate because you just don't want to do the thing. Just start asking the questions. Don't force yourself in. Just say, what would it look like if I was excited about this, right? And again, I just want to really reinforce that when I say this. This is about something that you're choosing and you still want it on your plate. If there's something in your life that you're like, this is. This has reached its expiration date, this relationship or this thing or this choice or this habit, that's really when you need to start looking at what would it look like if it wasn't in your life, right? And totally pivoting. But if it's something that you're choosing, that you are feeling resistance around. Like when I was writing my book and I instead saying, oh God, I have to write this book. Why do I have to do this? Really switching and leaning in and saying, what would it look like if I really thoroughly enjoyed this process or allowed myself to enjoy it? Well, I'd probably add an almond milk latte to this writing process, right? I'd probably go to a cafe that I'm obsessed with. I would probably tell myself that I only had to write for one hour instead of four. I would probably bring this amazing piece of chocolate that I love to to go along with my almond milk latte so that I can really savor it. And I would allow myself to write two pages and then have the chocolate and reward myself in a million different ways. That would excite me. So you guys really start thinking about what it would look like if you enjoyed it, if you had the energy, if you transferred the energy that you have to someone else.

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And you guys, as always, I'm so grateful that you tune into the podcast and I can't tell you what it means when you share the podcast with somebody who needs it. And when you share it on your insta stor Instagram, it just lets me know who's listening to it, how it's affecting you, what you want to hear more of. And of course, as always, the book A Tribe Called Bliss. I'm so grateful to all of you who have shared it with your friends and for those of you who've read it, who've enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing the journey with me. Your reviews and your ratings mean the world. I can't tell you how much it means. I know that if you've been listening to this podcast, you know exactly how much a rating actually means it. It gets you exposure, especially now in the new Amazon bookstores, gets you to the front table. It gets people seeing your book and purchasing your book and sharing the message. And I'm not giving up on this message anytime soon. I am planning, oh my God, I'm announcing it. Which means it's going to happen. So declaring that I am doing a round two of my book tour. So if I did not visit your city on round one, I am planning to do a few cities on round to hopefully this fall slash winter. So you guys, if there is a city that you know you could put about 200 women in a room, 300, 400, whatever that looks like. If you know that this is a possibility, absolutely. Message me. Let me know in my stories or in your stories, let me know what city I should come to. I have two in mind. I'm not going to say it yet, but let me know if you if this is your city and you know that this is a message that needs to come out. And you guys, thank you so much. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye bye Sam.